Paddy wrote:All this said, these are more-or-less hypothetical situations, which we'd never, ever carry out in real life. Right?
*shoulder bumps Kuniqs*
Right?
Truthfully, though, Emi is one of my favourite. And while I didn't like her story much, Hanako's pretty cute, too.
We're just doing this to stretch our imaginations, for laughs, and for some plain old catharsis. We would not really do this to anyone.
Right, Kuniqs?
Since you jumped the wagon, you should know the best that I wouldn't do this in reality. Anyway, it was a pleasure to taint your soul, Paddy. You were the last person I through would join me in my crusade.
In fact, I written about it in some other posts. I have frequent periods of insomnia and spend 10 hours a day reading such entertaining 'posts' like "error C2065: 'fubar' : undeclared identifier" - really weird things cross my mind during then.
About Hanako.. I heard Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Why not blow him, then rub his cum in her burn scars to see what happens?
To moderators: I apologize I corrupted this thread beyond recognition (cue Pablo Francisko voice), If you need to annihilate this monstrosity then I ask you to move last few pages to a topic named "If you could mess with life of Katawa Shoujo characters.." or something.
Here's first part of a fanficesque chapter. I finally stumbled upon idea that suits her.
- You again.
That was neither a statement, a question, or suggestion to get the hell out of here. Just words uttered by somebody who has nothing better to do at the moment.
An unproportionally tall, hunched over man in bunny fur pyjamas and ears, wild medium length hair and forever ugly grin closed the door. He slouched to take his seat, cracking his joints in the process.
- That hurt. And restricted bloodflow. You want them to swell and amputate them?
- No. I gave you time to think about your life. Does that suit suits?
- It doesn't stink that much of lack of my sweat like the ordinary ones.
- Good. Orrrr is it?
Doctor walked around patient's couch, humming silently. She stopped, then runned her foot through patient's hair.
- Feeling better? No fever today?
- Of course. I'm confident I would be an useful member of society once I'll be free.
- How delightful. You're here for life, no matter to what you'll convince me to. Orders from the heavens, you know.
- Didn't you ended in this wonderful facility precisely because you used unconventional methods of healing?
- This loquaciossity only makes you fell like a smart man. Ironic, isn't it?
Doctor stopped, then throw her gaze at the ceiling.
- You know how I got these scars? - he said after a longer moment, showing his teeth. Dents between them made his psycho smile laughable at best.
*sigh*
- This joke had grown a beard five years ago. Interesting, everybody I counsel tries it one time or another. Tell me about your dream last night.
- I don't dream. In fact, I can't sleep at all.
- And what will you dream about today?
- I will dream about onyx castle in a mountain retreat. It looked like it was moulded from living rock rather than built. You walked into through a tight passage and then out of sudden, a lake with that building attached to the wall. So I explore, it's deserted, dust covers everything. It had much much more floors that it seemed from the outside. At the top, I find a cozy passage with torches which leads to an unused even for an abandoned place storeroom with some furniture and coloured glass window on the wall. Excellent for a book worm. So I go back and out of sudden Henry VIII crosses my way, two times taller than me and even more broader.
We don't exchange a word, only look in each other's eyes. Then he produces a morgenstern out of his pants and this spit leaking out of his mouth on the floor. I am sure he sees me as a dinner, not suprised since there was nothing to eat for a long time!
Bunny ears lawyer darts from his couch and walks in circles around the room, dramatically gesturing in the air.
- I back up, slowly at first, turn my feet and run like a madman later. I jump through the window and end in the lake, you see? It was perfectly clare, so much that I saw ammo clips and flares at the bottom. I grab them and get out and there, Emi Ibarazaki with legs tends a rye pool not giving me a single glare. I have a feeling that fat bastard is still at me so I shout "Run to the hills!" to her. She shrugs and doesn't give me a stump.
Psychiatrist curses at another tic tac toe match she lost against herself.
- Then I see him - along with a gatling gun strapped to his arm. He chases me along with his bullets as I run to that tight pass and in the rock wall I see a crack that wasn't there before, I'm sure I remember. There were very wide stairs and I piss my pants from fear and.. Why are you playing without me?
- It's an excerscise prescribed to me by my counselor. It helps me to calm down and gather my throughs.
Bunny man hops around the room some more, stopping at doctor's personal art gallery.
- You painted that?
- A-ha. You remembered that you like art? ..you like music?
- It's a real piece of shit.
- ..oh, tell me what you really think.
- Hm, an impressionistic mishmash with a model in the composition. The scenario is great but a scene where he flushes all his existential angst to the toilet and begins a whole new life, go for his girlfriend and all was too much bullshit for me. Robin Williams had arms like a gorilla at least.
- This film is even older than 5 years old.
- When I'll be 20 years older, I'll listen to 20 year old oldboys talking about how classy movies were in the 00-ties, then piss on them from the balcony. Sorry about being honest with you.
- It's not your fault. I painted that during my school days and left it here to remind me how much time passed between my abilities.
He loses his energy for a moment, lost in through. He thinks a bit more and concludes that banging his head on the wall is what would be good for him. She stealthily presses a button.
- Dude, stay calm, chill out and greet the cleaning crew.
- Shame that, you're the only one who listens to me. Half-bacon cries all the time telling me I don't understand her anymore, and rest of people here are absolutely mad to begin with.
Two muscular studs with oiled chests and neckties, along with security captain in ape-man costume, stormed in and took the patient away in tender, knotted embrace.
She stands up, banging her head at the ceiling for the 5th time this day.
*curse*
The complex's designer was unsuitable for any other asylum, so he had to build a one for himself
- 52 days, 3 hours, 7 minutes left before retirement in this business.
She walks to the painting and stares at it for a moment.
Shrug.
Crack of intercom.
- Who's your next meal?
- Give me 5 minutes and recap his illnesses.
- Whowazawhat?
- My last patient.
- Sorry. Wait, wait, eine.. Clinical psychopathy, bipolar disorder, heavy social anxiety, sociopathy and several lesser ones.
- Add 'oedipus complex' and 'vagina dentata complex' to the majors.
- Roger that.
Rin sits down and lights a cigarette.
- Freud was right afterall. 99% of world problems oscillate arond pants. Is this cigar is a cigar for me?
In halfway she throws it at the corner and walks quickly to the wall. A black sheet of paper hangs there, with =Antistress kit. Apply medium force= written on it. She takes a deep breath and bangs her head on the wall.
- What was that voice?
.
.
- I'll have Hanako's ass for a dinner.
- Good call, that tall monster beat her again.