This is delightful so far.
Asumi feeling inadequate thinking she's not disabled enough is a trait I don't think I've seen explored before, and I'm curious to see how that bit of self-esteem develops. Her reaction to Hisao's condition almost sounds like she might have the slightest bit of internalized ableism to work through, perhaps?
Chapter 13; The nature of time
“Sooo? You’re finally actually together now?” Natsume says as soon as me and Asumi join the table.
“Uhm, yes,” I respond as we sit down. “You could tell?”
“Aawww yes!” Naomi interrupts any opportunity for Natsume to explain herself as she leans over the table in excitement. “Did you two confess to each other? Did you kiss?”
Me and Asumi exchange a quick glance, she seems as uncomfortable as I am. It’s not like we are trying to keep our new relationship a secret, I just wish Naomi would be a bit quieter.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” Naomi claps her hands. “So cute!”
“Naomi please,” Asumi speaks up. “You don’t have to announce that to the entire cafeteria.”
“Sorry, sorry,” she says now a little bit quieter but still far louder than necessary.
“No need to be embarrassed about it,” Saki says. “Except maybe how long it took.”
“Yes, about that. Asumi and I both had the feeling you were, uh,” I hesitate for a moment, not knowing exactly what word describes the situation best, “pushing us in this direction a bit.”
“Yeah... Sorry if I was a bit too pushy at times,” Saki says with a grin that says she isn’t too sorry.
“But to be honest, it was pretty obvious you two liked each other,” Natsume says. “Obvious to everyone except you two, apparently.”
I see Asumi blush at this, I’m probably doing the same thing though it’s easier for me to hide. I didn’t think it was that obvious at all, not from Asumi’s side at least. I told Saki two weeks ago but before that I don’t think I was exactly announcing I liked Asumi. I hadn’t even figured out my own feelings until recently, did my friends know before I did myself?
“Things worked out great! That’s what really matters right?” Naomi says.
Asumi nods. “Me and Hisao will be fine from now on, right?” She looks me in the eyes, and I nod for confirmation. “You guys can stop playing matchmakers.”
“Good. But we’re going to check in every now and then to make sure.” Saki grins, it looks like she has no trouble to keep teasing the two of us. “You did already kiss, so going good so far.”
Before either of us can begin to think of a rebuttal, a familiar face joins the table.
“Hello ladies,” Haruhiko says as he sits down opposite of me, next to Saki. “Am I interrupting?”
“Hey Haru, we were just admiring the cutest couple in the school.” Saki motions at us two as if it wasn’t obvious who she was talking about.
“Ah, so finally officially together?” We both nod to confirm that this is the real deal and not just Saki teasing us again. “Nice!” he says genuinely excited about this development. “But I actually came here with a question. Do all of you already have plans for the long weekend coming up?”
Oh, that’s right, we have next Monday off. With everything that’s been going on, I almost forgot about it. I figured it was just going to be spend studying for the upcoming exams. Judging the others’ reactions, they also didn’t have any plans made.
“Great!” Haruhiko interprets our silence as being available. “Here’s the plan; my parents are away on a trip and they asked me to take care of the house. You know, water the plants, feed the cat and all that. I thought that would be a perfect opportunity to invite some friends over!”
“And your parents are okay with that?” Natsume asks.
“Well yes, as long as we leave the place in a good condition."Haruhiko pauses for a second, grinning. "With that I mean, leaving no trace of there having been a party.”
“Ah I see. And you thought you would invite four lovely girls to this secret party?” Saki says.
“Yes! And Hisao too, of course.” He nods at me to acknowledge that I am, in fact, not a lovely girl. “I asked the guys, but only Taro could actually make it.” He now whispers conspiratorially, “and I didn’t want to spend the whole weekend with just Taro.”
“Ah, we’re the second choice?” Saki accuses Haruhiko.
“Yeah, exactly!”
“Asshole. I guess I’m going to have to say yes anyways. It’s something to do, I guess.”
“Sounds fun!” Naomi says. “Do you live far away from school?”
“Only like a 45-minute train trip and then it’s walking distance from the station. There’s plenty of room for you all to stay the entire weekend.”
“I’m down then!” Naomi says, which is reiterated by Saki and Natsume, albeit with half the volume.
Admittedly, a weekend trip with this group sounds pretty good. It might get a little bit in the way of studying but if I bring my books on the train and do a little bit extra this week, I should manage. I look at Asumi to check if she is as excited as I am.
She matches my gaze and I excitedly nod at her. I can see her think for a moment, but then she catches up on my attempt at non-verbal communication. “We will join too,” she announces.
“Great! See you on Saturday then, it’s going to be fun.”
I believe that, hanging out with these people is never boring and going on a trip with Asumi along sounds amazing. I doubt we will do much studying at Haruhiko’s place, so I should step up my studying the next few days to make up for it. I already did quite a lot but I’m not confident enough just yet.
History has never been my favorite subject; it would find itself just above English if I were to rank all my classes. ‘History teaches us valuable lessons about the present’, that’s what our teacher always says. But to learn from history, do I really have to memorize the exact date the battle of Shiroyama took place? 24 September 1877, right? Right.
There definitely is a lesson to learn though. The world as you know it will inevitably change. You can either accept it or go down fighting. I had been doing the latter for too long, ever since I opened my eyes in that hospital bed. Fighting against my condition, fighting against losing my old life and fighting against my new life, like a samurai surrounded on all sides.
It is indeed a lesson from history that still applies today, but I’m starting to think the life of a resisting samurai isn’t for me. I’m slowly starting to accept the world as it is, every day more and more.
Historical lessons aside, this doesn’t mean that I’m enjoying cramming so many dates and names into my tiring brain. I close my book with a smack, drawing Asumi’s attention as well as some of the other students that are studying in the library.
“I really need a break,” I say. “Do you maybe want to go for a short walk? I really enjoyed that with Natsume last time.”
She looks out of the library window. “Sorry it’s still way to sunny outside.” She sighs. “I hate the summer.”
“Oh sorry.” I should have checked the weather before suggesting that. It appears that the evening sun is still in full swing. “Maybe something else for a break then?”
“No please, don’t let me get in the way of your plans,” she hastily responds, “Just go without me. Maybe Natsume hasn’t gone for her walk yet, and you can go with her.”
“Asumi. I wanted to take a short break, with you specifically. I’d rather stay inside with you than go outside alone.” I smile at her for reassurance. “Join me for some coffee in the cafeteria?”
“Okay, sure.”
We exit the library and start making our way towards the cafeteria. I wouldn’t count this as exercise but at least I am still moving around a little.
“It’s a little annoying to have to study extra hard now, but I’m still really excited for this weekend. You too?” I ask her.
I was expecting her to join in with my excitement, she certainly looked like she was looking forward to it over lunch. Instead, she sighs. “Hey Hisao, I think I messed up.”
“What do you mean? Do you not want to go?”
“I do! But I said ‘yes’ to go to Haru without thinking. I was supposed to visit my dad over the weekend.”
“Oh,” is all I can respond. “Now what?”
“I don’t know,” she says as we reach the cafeteria.
“Okay, just think about it for a bit.” Asumi sits down on a cafeteria bench while I motion towards the vending machines standing against the wall. “Can I get you anything? It’s on me.”
“Just a juice please,” Asumi says, trying to put up a smile. “Thanks.”
I make my way over to the vending machine and start inserting some coins for my can of coffee. This does feel like a repeat of the festival again; I get excited to spend time with Asumi but suddenly an obligation with her father gets in the way. She even said ‘yes’ this time and then the rug got pulled.
I quickly get myself a can of coffee, knowing the digits by heart already, and insert some coins for Asumi’s drink. She didn’t tell me what kind of juice she wanted. I guess apple juice should be good, I’ve seen her drink that before. Then again, I’ve also seen her drink about every other juice available in the vending machine.
Grabbing the apple juice, I make my way back to her. I’m fine with picking out juice for her, but I don’t think I should decide what to do with the upcoming weekend even if I really wish she would come.
I sit down beside Asumi and her the drink. “You know, it would be great if you could join. But don’t decide because of me, I’ll have fun either way.”
“I really want to come too, it’s just ugh.” She pauses for a moment to take a sip of her apple juice. “I should probably explain my family situation a little, it’s a bit messy. I told you my parents were divorced, right?”
I nod at her. I remember her mentioning it, but then she said it wasn’t that big of a deal and quickly moved on. I can tell from the look in her eyes that she doesn’t like talking about it.
“So, every other week I have to spend the weekend with one of my parents, so I was at my mom’s two weeks ago and this weekend would be at my dad’s.”
I nod again. I was starting to notice the pattern of her being away every other weekend. “Can you maybe go to your dad the next week then?” I say.
“Well, there’s exams for one,” Asumi says, she looks at the cafeteria ceiling instead of me now. “But you don’t really understand. My dad was already annoyed he had to come up here for the festival, instead of me coming to him. So, I promised him I would visit him during the longer weekend.”
“Oh sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Don’t worry. It’s just hard to explain. Like you have no idea how serious my parents take it.” She takes another big sip from her drink. “They really want me to spend the same amount of time with each of them. It was the most important point of the divorce agreement, otherwise it would have gone through court.”
“I’m sorry, Asumi.”
She shakes her head, whirring her white hair around. “Please don’t be. I prefer this situation over them fighting all the time or just ignoring each other. I just wish they would ask me.”
I take Asumi’s hand and give it a quick squeeze. I try to think of something to tell her, but I struggle to put myself in her shoes. I wouldn’t say my parents’ marriage is perfect. I have witnessed them arguing sometimes, but nothing to the extent that they would break up. And if she prefers this, then it must mean the previous situation was quite bad. “I don’t really know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Asumi smiles at me. “But thanks for listening to my complaining, I appreciate it.”
I shuffle over towards Asumi to give her a gentle hug. I don’t want to overdo it because we are still in the cafeteria. “I don’t think that was really complaining, but I’m happy to listen.”
“I just don’t like talking about my problems when others have it so much worse. My parents are a bit annoying to deal with but they’re not bad people.”
“It’s fine to talk about it, Asumi. It’s not a competition who has it the worst,” I say as I rub her shoulder for comfort. “What are your parents like?”
“Ugh, they’re like exact opposites. My dad’s a doctor and always this calm and collected well-reasoned man. My mom teaches meditation to stressed-out businessmen and is way more emotional and extremely superstitious. Like a bird could shit in her tea and she would see it as a sign of good fortune.”
I laugh at her absurd example. “Really that bad?”
“That’s not even an exaggeration, that actually happened.” She giggles too, looking a lot happier than she did a minute ago. It infectiously puts a smile on my face too. “Honestly, I have no idea how they even ended up together in the first place.”
I shrug, it wasn’t really a question but even if it was there is no way I have an answer for her. My parents are a little like what she described too; my dad is a bit more rational than my mother but maybe not to the extreme of Asumi’s parents. That doesn’t stop them from having a, as far as I can tell, good marriage.
“I’ll call my dad this evening to see if something is possible,” Asumi says. “I really want to go with you guys.”
“I hope you can make it. Want to go back to studying then? Just in case you can go this weekend.” I get up from the bench and offer my hand to Asumi.
“Small chance.” She takes my hand and I pull her up from the bench. “But I’ll need to study regardless.”
“I know I’m not the best person to be saying this, but.” I smile a big smile at her. “You should try to be a bit more optimistic.”
She sighs. “I know my dad won’t like it; I’m just being realistic.”
“That’s what all the pessimists say.”
The longest chapter so far. It's also one that I had a lot of fun with, trying some new things here and there. Still struggling sometimes to find the time and quiet to sit down and write, that's why it's also taking a bit longer than I wanted to get these chapters out.
Chapter 14; The glass is filled halfway
“Looks like the next one is in fifteen minutes,” I say as I return from the information boards.
“That’s not too bad,” Saki says. “Still, sorry for making us miss the transfer.”
After spending about half an hour on the highspeed train we had to get off at the central station to continue our journey on a regional train. The problem was that we had less than five minutes to traverse the entire station, which turned out to be even larger than the main station in my hometown. Haruhiko even sprinted up the stairs while carrying Saki’s suitcase, but it wasn’t enough. We watched the train leave right before our eyes.
“It really wasn’t your fault, I shouldn’t have planned such a tight transfer,” Haruhiko says. “But I also didn’t plan for you girls to bring half your wardrobe with you.”
"Hey???" Naomi reacts.
“We’re going to your house, so obviously you need to bring less than us,” Natsume says.
“I think it’s just a girl thing, Hisao barely packed anything as well.”
“I got a study-book, underwear and a pack of cards. What else does a man need?” I say.
And a supply of medicine that could fill half a pharmacy.
“Uhm, pajamas. Fresh Clothes... Toothbrush?” Naomi lists off.
“Oh yeah… I did bring the toothbrush!”
Most of the girls shake their head at my forgetful packing. Thankfully, Haruhiko has my back. “You can borrow some of my or my dad’s pajamas or clothes if you need, no worries.”
“Your dad’s clothes are probably exactly Hisao’s style too. Or is that too mean to say?” Saki grins. “Mean for your dad, that is.”
I just roll my eyes. I’m even wearing my nicest sweater vest today, yet Saki keeps finding creative ways to criticize my clothing style. “I’m going to see if I can get something to drink while we wait, anyone else?”
“I’ll join. Can you watch my suitcase?” Asumi asks the group as she stands up from the bench.
None of the others seem interested, which is rather fortunate; I haven’t really had the opportunity to talk one on one with Asumi today. The bus leaving the school was packed with students so we couldn’t sit together and on the other train we all sat together, where she was noticeably quiet. She did text me yesterday evening to let me know she would be coming along after all. The announcement came so late that I already had given up hope, but her text made me jump from excitement when I got it.
We take the escalator into the main hall, leaving the others on the platform. I look at Asumi as we slowly ascend. She has been wearing her sunglasses and hat all day. It’s very sunny outside so it makes sense, but it just makes it hard to read her expression. I was expecting her to remove them once we got into the shade of the train station, but they remain on.
“I’m really happy you came along,” I say as we make our way to the vending machine in the corner of the main hall. “Were you able to convince your father in the end?”
“Not exactly,” she says looking at the ground, leaving me to look at the top of her sunhat. “I might have made things worse, if he finds out.”
“You made up an excuse?”
“I just straight up lied to him, not even a good lie.” She shakes her head. “First I wanted to tell him that I needed more time to stay and study, but he would’ve just told me I could study at his house too and offered to tutor me.”
I put some coins in the vending machine for a can of coffee and quickly ask Asumi what she wants.
She points at a bottle of pineapple juice as she continues. “So, I made up an excuse I knew he would take seriously... I basically said that Naomi had a terrible seizure and that I was the only one left at school who could look after her.”
“Oh,” is all I can respond.
“I know, it's dumb. It is really dumb. Please don’t tell the others, especially Naomi.”
I nod at her as I put the juice in her hand. “I won’t.” I take her other hand and give it a quick squeeze. “It’ll be fine, let’s just enjoy the weekend for now, okay?
“Yeah, that’s the plan. Now let’s go back or we might miss this train too.”
“We still have like ten minutes. Don’t you want to have a look around the station?”
“Not really,” Asumi says. She’s looks at the ground again and shrugs. “It’s just a train station, anyways.”
“Oh okay. Let’s go back to the others then.”
Asumi nods and we head back towards the platform.
“And here we are in my humble abode.” Haruhiko opens the door and lets us through with a bow.
We take off our shoes and follow Haruhiko into the living room. I take in the sight as I enter the room. I guess there are only so many ways a modern city house can look, but it reminds me a lot of home. They have a similar modern looking interior as we do at home, though the green couch does stand out a bit. One thing that is very different from my home is the orange cat approaching the new visitors.
“And this here is Miyuki,” Haruhiko introduces the cat for us.
“Aaawh, she is a cutie!” Naomi crouches down next to the cat, startling it. “Is it a he or a she?”
“Miyuki is a girl, which makes her a little special; most orange cats are boys.” Haruhiko crouches down next to Naomi and Miyuki approaches him cautiously. “She’s really nice, just a bit scared of your yelling.”
“Oh, sorry,” Naomi says quieter than I thought she was capable of. She slowly extends her finger to the cat, who carefully sniffs it before deciding she is okay with receiving a small pat on the head. The cat than moves towards Natsume and me, we both crouch down and the cat eyes us up curiously. I cautiously reach for her, and gently pet her on the head. After getting all the attention she could ever want, the cat decides that we are no longer interesting and returns towards the couch.
“I’ll give you guys a quick tour and show you your rooms,” Haruhiko says as he starts climbing the stairs. “We only have one guest bedroom, my brothers’ old room. It’s probably best if Naomi and Natsume take that one.” He opens the door in question, revealing a nice albeit sparsely decorated room with a double bed in it.
“Ooh nice,” Natsume says.
“Asumi and Hisao can use my parents’ bedroom, they’re fine with that as long as we change the sheets before we leave.” Like a gameshow host presenting a prize he opens another door, this one also has a double bed in it. Above the bed hangs a large picture of a younger Haruhiko with what must be his parents and brother. He even has his iconic yellow headband in the picture, and looks as cheery as I'm used to, maybe even more so.
I’m not sure how comfortable I am with sleeping in the bed of someone’s parents, especially with the family photo right above it. Sharing this bed with Asumi too. I guess there’s no other option though.
“And I’ll obviously sleep in my own bed.” This time he only points at the door. Is he ashamed to show us his own room?
“Haru!” Saki seems to realize she was left out of the tally. “Where do I stay?”
“Oh yeah almost forgot.” He grins at her. “We have a very comfy couch downstairs.”
“I’m not sleeping on the couch!” Saki shouts, looking genuinely furious. “I’ll sleep in your bed instead!”
Haruhiko just smiles and shrugs. “I mean sure, if you insist. You can join me.”
“Not with you! You can take the couch.”
Haruhiko just laughs, which does not really help with cooling down Saki.
“You can swap with me if you want,” I offer before they go at each other’s throat. “I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
Saki turns to me and I can see her thinking for a moment. “Nope, but thanks for the offer,” she says. “I would rather sleep on the couch than stay awake all night feeling guilty for splitting up you and Asumi.”
“Well, that’s settled then,” Haruhiko declares. “Can you guys unpack and meet me in the kitchen after? We need to figure out what to have for dinner.”
The others walk back down to collect the bags and suitcases they left at the bottom of the stairs. With my backpack already on my shoulder, I enter what I suppose will be my room for the next days. The large bed is made with light gray sheets and a bunch of differently sized pillows, it sits against the back wall atop the pedestal of a light green carpet. If it weren’t for the family picture and other personal items strewn around, it might almost look like a hotel room.
I pick the left side of the bed to set my bag down. I don’t really need to unpack too much. I carefully move aside a case for glasses belonging to either Haruhiko’s mother or father to make room for my English book on the nightstand, from this prominent position it should serve as a reminder to study. I then almost start unpacking my medication and organizing them in the recognizable pattern that usually sits on my nightstand. But after the second bottle, I stop. I don’t want Asumi to see the sheer amount of medication and get worried about my condition.
“Hey Hisao.” Asumi enters into the room wheeling her suitcase behind her and closes the door. “Why did you offer to swap with Saki? Is it the bed?”
She seems to have picked up that I wasn’t just offering to swap for Saki’s sake. “I’m not sure how comfortable I am with sleeping in Haruhiko’s parents' bed,” I say. “Maybe I can sleep on the floor, the carpet is quite thick.” I pat the carpet to confirm this.
“Please don’t, Haru said that it’s fine,” she says while looking at their family photo as if asking for permission from Haruhiko’s parents.
I sigh, I guess I should try a little better to put my thoughts in words. It’s not just that it’s the bed of Haruhiko’s parents, it’s sleeping in a married couples’ bed, with Asumi. “Are you okay with it too? Isn’t it a bit of a… big step?”
“For us you mean?” She thinks for a moment. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“It’s not that I’m against it. But we’re together for what? Four days now?” I look at her, trying to gauge how she feels about the situation. “We did say we were going to take it a bit slow.”
Asumi sits down on the corner of the bed and lets her hand run across the sheets. “If you are okay with it, I think its fine. Especially if the alternative is you sleeping on the floor.”
“Okay. But I should probably borrow some pajamas from Haru.”
She nods at me. “You don’t snore, do you?”
“Uh, I don’t think so?” Nobody ever told me, how else would I find out if I did?
“Then you can sleep here.” She pats what would be my side of the bed. “But if you snore, I’m swapping you with Saki even if it’s the middle of the night.”
“Fair enough.”
Asumi opens her suitcase and starts unpacking too, also putting a large book on the nightstand to the right of the bed. I’m still not entirely convinced either of us is totally comfortable with sharing this bed, but I’m glad we at least talked about it, so we know where we stand.
Asumi puts down a very large bottle of sunscreen on her nightstand too, she already put her hat and sunglasses on the chair that sits in the corner. It’s funny in a weird way. She said her condition was so much less serious than mine or the others’, yet it clearly still requires a lot of effort to adapt. Whether it’s having to stay inside or struggling to read, her condition might actually have more of an impact on her daily life than mine. Though for me there is always that risk that things go very wrong.
“Hey Asumi, what would happen if you went outside without sunscreen or your hat? How bad would it be?”
“With weather like today I could get serious sunburns in like ten minutes, during winter it’s much better though. But I still need to be careful if I don’t want to get skin cancer, that’s a serious risk.” She studies my reaction for a moment. “Why did you ask?”
“Just curious mostly. I think it’s impressive how you adapt to everything and without complaining.”
She shrugs, “I’ve been doing it my whole life, it’s not that big of a deal. And I still do plenty of complaining when its summer.” She suddenly lets out a giggle, “I might move to some place like Sweden at some point.”
I look at her curiously for a moment. Was that just a joke or is she actually planning to leave the country? And why Sweden of all places?
“I’m not actually serious,” she says having seen the confused look in my eyes. “But maybe some day, it’s not as sunny there and I also wouldn’t stand out so much.”
“You mean, with how you look?”
She nods, “I’m so white and pale that I’m like a beacon in a crowd. I often get weird looks in public. Sometimes they even assume I don’t speak Japanese, just because of how I look.”
I nod. “Is that why you seemed so uncomfortable in the train station today?”
“Yeah that was it. I usually try to ignore it, but there were some people staring while we were at the vending machines... Though I still don’t think train stations are that interesting, Hisao.” She giggles and I can't help smiling at her joke. “The stares are annoying, but it could’ve been worse. In Africa they actually kill albino’s because they think their bones have healing powers .”
“That’s awful,” I say. I move to sit next to her on the bed, it is indeed a lot softer than the carpet. I don’t want to linger too much on that depressing fact Asumi just shared, I would rather make something very clear. “Your appearance does stand out a bit, that’s true. But maybe that’s not a bad thing, you are really pretty.”
A bright smile makes its way across her face. I’m sure she already knows I mean it, but I add a quick kiss on her cheek anyways, just to make sure. She looks back at me with a spark in her eyes that I’ve rarely seen, the last time I saw it was when she was so passionately explaining her book to me.
“Hey, are you two coming?” Haruhiko can be heard shouting from the bottom of the stairs. “We’ve already decided what we’re having for dinner.”
“Almost ready,” Asumi shouts back. She plants a quick kiss on my lips and gets up from the bed. “Let’s go.”
Dinner was delicious. Haruhiko and Natsume ended up being head chefs and they really outdid themselves. Naomi and Saki helped by cutting up the vegetables, which left me and Asumi hanging around the kitchen. Not that I didn’t want to help, but with four people already preparing dinner, helping would instead mean getting in the way of people who actually know how to cook.
That does mean that, justifiably, me and Asumi got put on dish duty while the others went into the living room to play cards. I don’t mind too much; the chore is oddly relaxing. The entire day was, despite the initial stress that came with having to travel here. Though the little time I got to spend studying is a bit worrying.
“Do you think we’ll have time to study tomorrow?” I ask Asumi as she hands me another soppy plate for me to dry.
“I don’t know if we have any plans made, but I don’t think many of the others will want to spend the entire day studying,” she answers while vigorously scrubbing the food remains of a large pan. “Are you worried?”
“Mostly for English,” I admit. “You aren’t?”
She shrugs, “A little, I guess. I’m never that worried about exams.”
“Oh?” I take the pan from Asumi to dry it off. “Because you’re such a nerd and always do well?”
“If I’m a nerd, you’re a super nerd.” She glares at me. “I paid attention in class and did some cramming before coming here, should be good enough to get a decent grade.”
“Interesting, I expected you to be more stressed out.”
Asumi shakes her head as she starts cleaning what looks like the last dirty pan. “I worry about some things okay, but not about everything. I don’t want to be worrying about exams too this weekend.”
Laughter comes out of the living room as I start drying the other pan, with Asumi’s words lingering in my head. “Worried about your dad?” I ask quietly.
“Yes,” Asumi sighs. “He texted me during dinner asking if Naomi was okay and I just have to keep digging this hole even deeper.” She hands me the final pan and extends her hand into the water. The dirty water quickly starts spiraling out of the sink. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, I want to have fun with the others.”
“That's still the plan. It should be fun evening,” I say as I put away the pan and hang up my towel after a job well done. Together we make our way into the living room where it looks like Naomi just started celebrating her win in the game they were playing.
Before she can boast too much, Haruhiko turns to us. “Ah finally done, great.” He gets up and passes us back into the kitchen. “Good time for me to go and grab a surprise.”
I look at the three girls at the table, but they seem to be as clueless as me about Haruhiko’s surprise. I guess that’s what makes it a surprise. With nothing to do but wait, me and Asumi take a seat at the table as well.
Soon enough, Haruhiko returns from the kitchen with full hands. In his right he is skillfully holding four long glasses and, in his left, a light green glass bottle. He quickly makes his way back to the table and puts everything down. “That’s part one of the surprise, be right back.” He heads back into the kitchen.
We all inspect the bottle that stands in the middle of the table, I don’t recognize the label but its unmistakably a bottle of white wine. I’m not sure how to feel about this development. We are all a good two years short of the legal drinking age. That said, I am a little curious.
Saki on the other hand makes her feelings perfectly clear, “Now I’m really excited for part two!”
She doesn’t have to wait long, as Haruhiko returns from the kitchen once again. He is holding a bottle again, a darker purple, almost black one, this time. In his other hand he has two silver cans. He puts the second bottle next to the first and then slides one of the cans towards me.
“There’s more in the fridge for later,” he informs me. I stare at the can that has been placed before me, unsure why it’s for me specifically. “What? Never seen a can of beer before?”
Well obviously, I have seen one before. I just never drank one.
“I don’t want to ruin the party Haru,” Naomi speaks up. “But I really can’t drink alcohol with my medication.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. We got soda too if you want.”
"That's great, no problem!" Naomi says. “Anyone else that needs to check their medication?”
I didn’t even think about that factor. We’re not just regular teenagers participating in some underage drinking, we are teenagers that probably all take an abnormal amount of medication to keep our bodies functioning somewhat normally. It’s a little bit of a depressing reminder, but in this case I don’t think it actually applies to me. I’m fairly certain drinking alcohol is fine with my medication, at least it wasn’t specifically mentioned anywhere that it wasn’t.
“All right then.” Haruhiko takes our silence as confirmation and starts pouring three glasses of the white wine and passing them to the girls.
I open my can of beer with a satisfying hiss, some of the foam filling the top of the can. Then we all raise up our respective cans and glasses in an enthusiastic cheer, even Naomi participates with an empty wineglass seemingly not at all disappointed at not being able to participate.
I take a sip from the can, the foamy liquid filling my mouth. It takes a moment for me to fully taste it, but when I finally do, it’s vile. The bitterness causes all the muscles in my face to contract at the same time. I do manage to begrudgingly swallow it.
“It gets better,” Haruhiko says laughing at my expression. He takes a big swig from his own can to prove his point. How often has he been drinking before?
I take another smaller sip, much to the same effect. I think it’s slowly getting a little bit less disgusting, but I’m not sure if I want to finish this entire can.
Asumi is looking at me from my left, giggling. It makes the liquid inside her glass swirl around. “You don’t have to drink it, Hisao. Do you want to try the wine?” She extends her glass towards me.
I tentatively take the glass from her hands and take a small sip. It’s a lot better than beer, there’s still that nasty taste of alcohol but here it’s at least hidden behind a somewhat sweet and fruity flavor.
“Oh, you can drink wine too,” Haruhiko says. “I just thought I’d give you a beer, it is the manly option after all.”
“I thought a real man drinks whatever he wants?” Natsume interjects.
I nod at Natsume’s comment, “what she said.” I do take one last desperate sip of the beer... Yeah, it’s not getting any better.
With only slight damage to my masculinity, I make the switch to a glass of wine. Haruhiko being all too happy to help finish my beer can. The evening progresses with some card games, the quality of the play being measurable directly by the liquid remaining in the bottles. Eventually we just stop playing in the middle of a game and start chatting nonsense. Despite not drinking any alcohol, Naomi proves totally capable of participating in our chaotic conversation.
“Okay, okay do another question,” Naomi demands.
“Allright, this one’s for uh, Hisao!” Haruhiko says. “If Asumi laid an egg, how big would it be? And would you eat it?”
Hysterical laughter erupts from the girls, this is the most ridiculous question Haru asked all evening. I’m briefly stunned, not knowing what to do with this.
“Why would I lay an egg?” Asumi shouts. “I’m not a chicken!”
“That’s not the point, the question was for Hisao.”
“Uh, I guess it would be about this big.” I hold my hands a little bit apart in what I would assume is a normal sized egg for a human to lay. I can’t believe I’m actually thinking this much about it.
“And would you eat it?” Saki asks.
I look to my left at my girlfriend, she locks eyes with me. A smile on her face but a curious look in her eyes. “If Asumi laid the egg? Yes, of course I would eat it!”
Laughter once again. I don’t know if that’s really a compliment, but I sincerely hope that I never have to find out for real.
“I got another one, for Natsume,” Haruhiko continues. “Okay so someone gives you a pink elephant and you can’t just give it away again. What do you do with it?”
RIIIIIING
Before Natsume can even start thinking about what to do with her elephant, a ringing sound comes from Asumi’s pocket.
“Shit!” she says as she looks at the display. “Shit, I have to take this.” She hastily gets up from the table and nearly sprints out of the living room.
We stare in silence as the girl disappears through the door, the only audible sound the beating of her feet on the stairs. We don’t return to the question Haruhiko asked before, there’s a new elephant in the room.
“She didn’t seem too happy with that call,” Haruhiko says.
“It’s probably her dad,” Saki says.
“Why do you say that?” I ask surprised. She is probably right on the money, but I thought Asumi only told me about her issue.
“Surely you know why,” Saki says.
“I mean I think I do, but do you?” I return the question. Saki and I have a short stare down while the other three look very confused. I end up cracking, “She eh, didn’t exactly get permission from her dad to come here.”
“Oh,” Saki says.
It seems like she didn’t know, then what was she talking about? I try to think of something, but the alcohol’s mist hangs over my brain. The sensation was welcome at first, but I need my mind right now. Her dad probably calls her more often, that’s all I can come up with.
“Anyways, back to that question for Natsume,” Saki says.
I really appreciate Saki trying to draw us back into the joyous nonsense, but it does not really do it for me. I do listen to Natsume’s description of trying to sell a pink elephant, but it doesn’t really register.
About fifteen minutes passed - I checked my watch - Asumi still hasn’t returned. Is the phone call taking that long or is there something else? I kind of want to go and check on her but I don’t want to risk interrupting a call, especially if it actually is her dad.
I notice Naomi looking at me. As soon as I catch her gaze, she nods and points upwards. I guess that means she wants me to go and check too. I take a quick sip from my wineglass for some liquid courage and stand up from the table. “I’ll be right back.”
I quietly trudge up the stairs and stop in front of the bedroom door. She must be in here, there is no other logical place for her to have gone. I stand there for a minute, trying to pick up any hints of a phone call taking place in there. Hearing nothing but the chatter still coming from downstairs, I slowly push open the door and peer through the crack.
Asumi is sitting on the side of the bed. She isn’t wearing her glasses, a rare sight, she usually only removes them for a few seconds to wipe them clean. On her lap is an orange ball of fur; Asumi is gently stroking the top of Miyuki’s head.
“Hey,” I say, feeling guilty having to interrupt this serene moment. “I wanted to check if everything was okay.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replies without taking her eyes off Miyuki.
“Was that your dad calling?”
She nods in response.
I sit next to her on the bed and tentatively extend a finger towards the cat, she seems more interested in Asumi.
“I have this feeling he knows.” She lets her hand run down the back of the cat, who starts purring. “He didn’t say it, I just have this nagging feeling he knows something is up.”
“That sucks,” I say. I gently stroke Asumi’s shoulder, trying my luck there instead of with the cat. “If that is actually the case.”
“He just kept asking annoying questions.” She sighs. “I’m trying to enjoy this weekend. I just wish they’d leave me alone. For once!” The extra volume she puts into her frustrations startles the cat on her lap, it jumps off the bed and heads for the door. “Sorry Miyuki!”
“If there’s anything I can do to help just let me know.”
“At this point there’s nothing we can do." She shrugs. "Except maybe drink some more wine and have fun.” She smiles again.
“Oh no, you’re getting hooked on the stuff.”
“You’re one to talk.” She pokes me in the cheek with her finger. “Aren’t you a little drunk?”
“Not any more than you are.”
“I only had two small glasses, I’m fine!”
“I definitely counted three.”
Asumi hangs her arm around my neck. “You should worry about yourself instead of me,” she says into my ear.
“I can do a bit of both,” I answer. “I care about you, you know?”’
She nods, her face hovers close to mine. Without her large round glasses, her eyes seem so much smaller. Then we kiss like we never kissed before. That slight hesitation, the little bit of doubt that was part of every kiss we shared before, isn’t there this time. Maybe it’s the wine. I can almost taste it when our tongues clash. The sensation shuts down the last remaining processing power in my already impaired brain.
I want her closer to me. I use my hands that had been sitting there uselessly and wrap them around her back, pulling her towards me. Maybe I was a bit overzealous, maybe my coordination is affected by the wine or maybe she just wasn’t expecting it. However it happened, we end up falling backwards onto the bed, a rather awkward end to an otherwise fantastic moment.
“I’m sorry,” Asumi says. “Maybe I’m a little drunk after all.”
I shake my head and laugh at the girl now lying next to me, her hair is spread around her head like a white crown. “Don’t apologize, that was awesome.”
“It was a pretty awesome kiss, wasn’t it?” She turns towards me and kisses me again. “Yep. I’m getting the hang of this.”
“You sure are,” I say. “I’m surprised you could even find my mouth without your glasses.”
“I’m not blind! You’re quite blurry now but I can still see you.”
“Ah. But you can’t read what Naomi wrote on my forehead before I came upstairs.” This comment earns me a shove from Asumi. “You’re not even going to check?”
“No, you don’t deserve that,” she says. She puts her arms around my back and pulls me into a hug. I return the favor, Asumi’s face ending up snuggling in my neck. And for a minute I’m just content letting her white strands of hair run through my fingers. “You didn’t need to check up on me, you know. But thanks anyways.” She sighs and lets her grip on me falter. “We should head downstairs now though. Or the others are going to be thinking weird things are happening here.”
“What? Oh... Surely they won’t. I was just checking on you.”
“Hisao, have you met Saki?” Asumi moves out of my arms, unfortunately, and goes to retrieve her glasses.
“Good point.” I also lever myself up from the bed. I then almost point out to Asumi where she left her glasses, but it looks like she already found them by sweeping her arm across the bed.
“Oh, wait, you were right,” she says with a smirk as she puts her glasses back on. “There actually is the word ‘idiot’ written on your forehead.”
“Very funny... Shouldn’t we head downstairs then? Otherwise they’ll think we’re doing anything other than making fun of each other.”
“Yes, that... And I still want to finish my wine.”
“Are you sure that’s smart?”
“Just ooone more glass. That can’t hurt.”
Chapter 15; Flutter for a day and call it an Eternity
I slowly open my eyes as they adjust to the painful light seeping into the room. It seems we forgot to close the curtains before going to bed. It’s obviously day already, but it could be anywhere between the very early morning or the afternoon already, my biological clock is completely useless at the moment. I look for the more trustworthy mechanical clock, I’m fairly certain I put my watch on the nightstand before going to bed.
As I move, there’s a certain beating coming from inside of my head, like my brain has suddenly become too big for my skull. I manage to find my watch and inspect the tiny hands, they indicate that it’s nearly eleven already. The very slow and steady breathing coming from my right gives away that Asumi is still in a deep sleep. I roll over to get a look at her, her white hair is spread all around her with multiple strands covering her face. All in all, she looks just as awful as I currently feel, though very cute at the same time. Her usual glasses fit her face really well I think, but I’m starting to warm up to how she looks without them.
I would really prefer to stay in bed all day, but my mouth feels like I ate a bucket of sand yesterday and I really need a large glass of water. As quietly as I can, I get out of the bed and start making my way downstairs. I wonder how the others are doing.
“Hey, good morning!” Naomi greets me as I enter the living room.
It seems like she already cleaned up some of the mess from yesterday and is currently studying at the dinner table, she seems to be the only one here. “Am I really the first one up?”
She nods, “I did accidentally wake up Natsume when I got out of bed but she went back to sleep.” She giggles. “She looked about as awful as you do.”
I would already pity her if she felt half as terrible as me. I quickly fill a glass of water and down it in one fell swoop. I refill it and join Naomi at the table.
“Yesterday I was a bit disappointed I couldn’t drink too,” she says with a grin on her face. “But seeing you and Natsume this morning, I’m glad I didn’t.”
I just groan in response. I feel bad enough without her rubbing it in.
“I did prepare breakfast! It might be cold already, I expected everyone to be up sooner.”
Naomi directs me to the food she prepared. The cooked rice with vegetables still sitting in the pan on the stove, a simple breakfast but a very welcome one. The coffee machine positioned next to the stove calls out to me, I would really like to have a cup. Though I don’t exactly know how to operate this machine, nor where I would find the coffee in the cupboards. We’re still guests in a strangers home here, I don’t feel comfortable rummaging through their supplies.
I sit back down across from Naomi and dig into the meal she prepared. It’s lukewarm, good enough for me today.
“Did you notice anything here in the living room?” she asks me between two bites of rice.
“Oh yeah, you cleaned up a little.” I guess she does deserve some praise for that and cooking breakfast. “Thanks a lot.”
“You’re welcome!” She beams a smile at me. “But that’s not what I meant.” She points towards the sitting area behind me.
I follow her finger to the beige couch in the living room. Miyuki has made the armrest her resting place, the orange cat peacefully sleeping on her throne. It’s quite cute but I don’t understand the significance.
Naomi shakes her head at me. “Is it the hangover or are you always this unobservant? Saki was supposed to be sleeping on the couch, right?”
“Oh yeah.” The assigned sleeping spots from yesterday is the missing puzzle piece clicking in place. “Where is she?”
“I assume she didn’t sleep in your and Asumi’s room right? That really only leaves one option.”
“Haruhiko’s room?”
“Exactly!” Naomi lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “I noticed them being a bit clingy yesterday too, I think Saki went for a midnight visit to Haru and never came back.”
“Oh.” I didn’t notice anything of the sort yesterday, but I think Naomi was a more reliable observer. “Ooh!” I let out as her implication clicks in my head.
“I mean the girl can do whatever she wants, but if she thought we wouldn’t notice.” She shakes her head while laughing. “I cannot wait to see her face when she comes downstairs.”
I’m not exactly sure what to do with this information. Maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised, Haruhiko and Saki do seem to match up to each other pretty well. Like Naomi said, they can do whatever they want. This does present a new opportunity though, the chance for me to be in a position where I can tease Saki with something.
The other half of the scandalous story makes its appearance first though. Haruhiko gives us a quiet greeting as he comes into the living room.
“Morning Haru! Where did you leave Saki?” Naomi asks.
“I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar!” she yells.
Haruhiko chuckles and makes his way towards the kitchen. “I’m going to make coffee, who wants any?”
“Me!” My hand shoots up like a studious child knowing the answer to the teacher’s question.
Naomi shoots me a glare as a reward for helping Haruhiko dodge her questioning. I’m also curious, but I need my coffee more. Right as Haruhiko hands me the dark liquid that I hope will get me out of the pit of tiredness, Saki makes her way down the stairs. The slow tapping of her cane on the stairs giving her away.
“Morning Saki!” Naomi says to her next victim. “Want to explain yourself now or wait for Natsume and Asumi to wake up?”
Saki thinks for a while, I just manage to notice a quick exchange of looks between her and Haruhiko. “I don’t have anything to hide.” Saki shrugs. “I slept in Haruhiko’s bed, we had sex and it was pretty good.”
She says it like she’s just casually listing off a shopping list instead of admitting to sleeping with someone that’s currently in the same room. It makes my jaw drop how Saki just does not seem to care about anything.
Haruhiko doesn’t handle it as casually as she does, his face becoming redder than the wine we had yesterday. “Really, do you have no shame at all?”
“Barely any really,” she dryly replies.
Haruhiko just shakes his head and returns to the kitchen.
“He’ll get over it,” Saki whispers to me and Naomi. “I don’t regret anything and I hope he doesn’t either, though we were a little drunk.”
Naomi giggles at this, “yeah like you make well thought out decisions when sober.”
Saki laughs but does not make an effort to defend herself against Naomi’s comment. “And you and Asumi? Slept well?” she asks with a wink.
“We were both completely knocked out as soon as we hit the pillow,” I answer truthfully, but quickly, in order to get any wrong ideas out of Saki's head. “I think Asumi had a bit too much wine yesterday.”
I probably should have had one glass less too, but I handled it better than Asumi. She definitely was drunk towards the end of the evening, she slurred her words and in general just acted differently than she would normally.
“You two were hilarious when drunk. We should do this more often.”
With how my entire body is feeling right now, I don’t think that is happening any time soon. Though we did have a lot of fun yesterday, maybe regret is too strong of a word.
Haruhiko and Saki both quietly get started on Naomi’s breakfast. Natsume soon makes her way downstairs as well, judging from her tired eyes and messy hair, Naomi’s assessment was spot on. Naomi instantly briefs her on the news much to Haruhiko’s annoyance. Despite the hearty breakfast and the coffee everyone is still tired and quiet, except Naomi who is as cheerful as ever.
“Asumi! Good morning, or afternoon almost!” Naomi almost yells as the last member of our group makes her way into the living room.
“Naomi please. I love you but can you be quiet today,” Natsume groans.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” I ask Asumi with a more considerate volume.
“Like a herd of bison ran over me while I slept.” She looks like she means it as she crashes down into the last remaining chair at the table.
“We should get some fresh air, that always helps with hangovers. There’s a nice park nearby.” Haruhiko suggests.
How often has he been drinking before that he has a whole method for dealing with hangovers?
“I’ll stay here, it’s way too sunny today,” Asumi says.
“Oh yeah sorry. Forgot about that for a moment.”
“But please go anyways, I don’t mind being here on my own for a little while.” Asumi looks specifically at me as she says this.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying with you,” I say.
She shakes her head. “Just go, it’s good for you. I’m no fun right now anyways.”
I give her one more questioning look, but she looks adamant.
“We can go for a short walk around the park, we should be back within half an hour,” Haruhiko says.
With the walk set out before us, we quickly clean up the breakfast supplies before leaving Asumi behind in the house and setting out towards the park. While I feel a little guilty for leaving her alone, the bright sun warming my skin and the somewhat fresh air in the city streets does make me feel a little better. My body still hurts all around, my throat is still dry despite drinking two glasses of water, but at least the mist in my brain is starting to clear little by little.
As we round the second street corner, the promised park comes into view. The greenery standing out like an oasis in the desert of grey concrete . I end up falling into step with Saki and I welcome her reduced pace, though she has her cane as the reason while have nothing to blame but my awful condition.
“Is Haru very mad at you?” I ask her. I noticed they didn’t exchange a single word after the initial reveal of what happened.
Saki shrugs. “I think he is annoyed that I spilled the beans that easily. Naomi would have found out eventually anyways, I just didn’t think he would mind so much.”
“I can imagine he was shocked you just said that out loud. I know I was, and I wasn’t even involved in the eh… ordeal.”
Saki laughs. “I expected you to be a bit of a prude, but not Haruhiko.”
We enter the park through a metal gate that reminds me of Yamaku’s. The path ahead leads through the greenery and seems to wrap around a large pond that sits in the middle of the park. There are a few other people around, two joggers pass us by and up ahead a mother with a stroller approaches. The atmosphere is a lot calmer than in the city streets, a welcome quietness without the constant buzzing of cars in the background.
“And what are you going to do next with Haruhiko? Date him?” I say.
Saki shrugs once again. “I think I have to apologize, he deserves that much. But after, we’ll see. I wouldn’t mind dating him, he’s a really fun guy.” She lets out a long sigh. “I’m not very good at thinking ahead.”
“Someone once told me that you shouldn’t wait for too much certainty and just go for it,” I say with a grin.
Saki thinks for a moment, trying to place my words. Then it clicks. “Don’t use my words against me!” She gives me a slight push in the shoulder that hurts more than it should. “This is totally different. You and Asumi were taking things way too carefully. I have the opposite problem.”
“I do have to admit, your carelessness is admirable. Haruhiko’s too actually,” I say.
“Well thanks, I guess. You definitely could use some more of that yourself,” she delivers the jab without her usual challenging tone. "But not as much as me. It's good to care about things like your future." Saki stays quiet for a while, the tapping of her cane being the only thing between us. “I know that I am a bit of an extreme case. There’s not too much of a future for me to worry about anyways.”
There’s this brief flash of confusion as her words break through the barrier of tiredness surrounding my brain, but then it hits. Her condition. I knew it was bad. I never did find out how bad and never wanted to. But when she says this, I know it’s not going to be measured in decades.
“I’m sorry,” I say because I have to say something and don’t know what. Even with a clear mind I don’t think I could have come up with something better.
“Don’t be,” she sternly tells me. “My life is going to be shorter than most. That just means that every minute of it is more valuable.” She bumps my shoulder again. “So, stop showing pity and enjoy the day with me.”
It’s a little crazy how she says this so casually, but it is on brand for her. It does make me think back to that with Natsume in a similarly green environment. Saki probably didn’t fall into this mindset right away, there must have been a lot of pain and struggle that I didn’t get to see. I only see her how she is now.
My condition is a minor nuisance in comparison, I should be able to accept things as they are sooner or later. It also hasn’t prevented me from doing things I wanted to do, while Asumi had to stay behind alone. Despite the burning, tingly feeling starting to creep up into my legs, here I am going on a walk with my friends.
The other three keep slowly getting further ahead of us. I do hope that Haruhiko’s thirty-minute estimate was based on our slower pace and not theirs. He is a bit of a track star, apparently.
“Soo. How is it going with you and Asumi? It’s been a week since you had your first date, right?” Saki asks.
I nod at her, “It’s going well, I think. We’re both slowly getting used to a relationship and each other. You know, at our own pace.”
She rolls her eyes. “You did sleep in the same bed last night.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that yesterday but to be honeah.”
I flinch as a small shockwave of pain ripples from my chest through my body. The feeling quickly subsides though.
“What?” Saki asks.
I take a deep breath to steady myself. It didn’t hurt too much, it just scared me for a second. “It wasn’t a big deal. We both were very tired yesterday.”
“That’s good.” She pauses for a moment. “Are you okay, Hisao?”
“I’m fine,” I say, avoiding her gaze. I try to focus on the path ahead instead of the feeling in my chest and legs. The other three seem to have stopped next to the pond for a moment, I can see Naomi pointing at the ducks. “I’m still hungover so my legs hurt a bit.”
Then it happens again, but worse. A sudden tightening in my chest that feels like someone put an anvil on it. I grab my shirt hoping that will calm down my heart. That’s the moment my legs decide they have walked enough.
“Hisao!”
The paved park path is suddenly a lot closer, I barely managed to catch myself with my hands.
“Hey! Come back! It’s Hisao!” Saki shouts, panic in her voice.
I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. The thumping in my chest feels like a hammer hit every time, though with every deep breath I take, the intensity reduces.
A new rhythmic beat appears that is faster than my heart. “What can I do to help?” Haruhiko says suddenly very close to my face.
I ignore him and Saki, shutting out every sound except my breathing. Every beat of my heart hurts, but it's getting better.
I take one more deep breath all the way from my stomach to the top of my chest and back again. My heart feels steadier again. Thank goodness. This could have ended a lot worse.
I open my eyes again and look up, Haruhiko and Saki are in front of me looking extremely concerned with Naomi and Natsume hurriedly making their way over to me as well. “I’m okay now,” I quickly say.
“Are you sure?” Saki says.
I know I don’t look okay sitting with knees and hands on the dirty path. I hardly feel okay, but the worst part has subsided.
I try to stand up again, though my legs are still a bit uncooperative. Saki and Haruhiko both quickly extend their hands to me and pull me up. With Haruhiko as a support, we make our way over to a park bench and I crash down onto it.
“What was that Hisao?” Haruhiko asks. He looms over me as he stands, while Natsume and Saki take a seat besides me. It feels a little like an interrogation.
“My heart played up,” I say, wiping some sweat from my forehead. “Really I’m fine now. I should be able to continue in a minute or two.”
“Continue?” Saki says shocked. “As soon as you feel like you can walk again, we’re going back to the house.”
I sigh, I managed to ruin the walk for everyone. We barely even got to the park and now we have to turn back already.
“Does this happen often?” Natsume asks concernedly.
I shake my head. I sometimes have minor troubles, but this is definitely not supposed to happen.
“Maybe it was the alcohol from yesterday?” she speculates.
“I eh, yeah that must be it,” I reply.
I know full well that isn’t the cause. Or not the main culprit at least, it didn’t help either. No, I just forgot to take my pills both yesterday before going to bed and this morning. I am truly the biggest idiot that walks this planet.
After about five minutes on the park bench and a lot of assurances that I’m fine, we start making our way back towards Haruhiko’s house. He and Naomi both offer to give me a shoulder for support but I decline, I should be good enough to get back on my own. My heart has fully calmed down and my legs are steady enough, I’m just exhausted. I’m both looking forward to and dreading getting back. I just want to go to bed and avoid facing Asumi in this condition.
As Haruhiko opens the door, it becomes clear that is unavoidable. Her voice greeting us from the living room as soon as we enter the house, “Back already?”
“Yeah well, something happened,” Natsume answers her. Thankfully she keeps her reply vague.
“Huh what happened?” she asks as she gets up from the couch. As soon as our eyes meet it’s clear she can tell that I am the something that happened.
I sigh, there’s no avoiding it with all the others around. “My heart fluttered a bit, I’m fine now though. Nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry? You looked like you we’re going to die on us,” Saki says.
Great. Thanks Saki. If Asumi wasn’t already worried about me returning from our walk looking more tired than when we started, now she surely is. She looks at me, eyes wide in shock.
“I’m sorry for making you worry,” I say towards Saki though it applies to everyone. “Really I’m good now, just very tired.” I yawn for emphasis. “I need a nap, you guys can go back to the park if you want.”
And with that I slowly make my way up the stairs and into the bedroom. Before crashing down into the bed, I take the long overdue dosage of medication. I really can’t believe I forgot, the doctors and the nurse all hammered that point home. I’m just dumb.
I lie down in the middle of the bed. It feels even more massive now that I’m in it all alone. The sheer fatigue is enough to keep my mind from thinking terrible thoughts, sleep soon taking me away.
After what feels like a millisecond, I’m awoken by the creaking of the bedroom door. I annoyedly look around for whoever interrupted the sleep I so desperately needed.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you would still be sleeping,” Asumi quietly says. She looks at me through the crack in the door before moving to close it.
“It’s okay,” I quickly say. “Come in.”
She opens the door again and steps into the room holding two cups. “I made you tea, I’m not sure what tea you like, or if you even like tea in general so if it’s not good I can get you something else.”
“Thank you.” I rub some sleep from my eyes as she puts the tea down on the nightstand next to me. It feels like I only slept a few minutes before Asumi came to check on me. “What time is it?”
“You slept for five hours. The others are preparing dinner already.”
“Oh, really?” After I ruined our morning walk, I basically missed our entire second day here as well. I hope the others at least had fun while I was out. “I’m sorry.”
Asumi doesn’t respond. I take the moment to take a small sip of the tea, it’s just cooled down enough to be able to drink. It tastes a bit minty. I’ve never really been a fan of tea but it’s nice right now. “This tea is great, thank you.”
“It’s the least I could do after you...” She doesn’t finish her sentence. “I’m sorry Hisao.”
I blink my eyes for a few seconds, checking if I’m really awake. “Huh. Why are you sorry?”
“You were having a heart attack and I was just sitting here on the couch doing nothing. I couldn’t help, again.”
“You had to stay because of the sun, right? That’s not your fault.”
“I know I know, that’s what the others said too.” She shakes her head. “But I could’ve bothered to put on sunscreen and join anyways. And I pushed you to go with them, you asked like two times to stay here with me and I said no. I even got you to drink wine yesterday, if I knew it was this bad for you I would never-”
“Asumi!” I interrupt her. “None of that is your fault. I’m just an idiot.” I sigh. I really didn’t want to reveal this information. “I forgot to take my medication, that’s why it happened. I’m so sorry, I even promised you I would never forget them…”
“But?” She plops down on the side of the bed. “Natsume told me it was the alcohol and the walking.”
“I didn’t tell them,” I say. “I saw the worry on their faces when I fell down and I just couldn’t say it was all because I’m too dumb to take a couple of pills.”
“I won’t tell them either,” she says.
I nod at her in response. Both of us take another sip of tea to fill the silence. Asumi really has a habit of taking the blame for things that aren’t her fault, if only she could see that.
I awkwardly shuffle underneath the sheets to get closer to her. “Hey, can I ask you something?"
She turns towards me and nods, shaking the glasses on her nose.
“Why do you think those things are your fault? I made my own stupid decisions.”
“I... I just feel like I need to do something, something to help, but I just can’t.” She looks up towards the ceiling. “It’s hard to describe but, things just happen around me and I’m just along for the ride. Not because there’s nothing that can be done, I just can’t do it.”
It’s clear she doesn’t just mean today. She probably means the situation with her dad too, or that time when Naomi had a seizure and we couldn’t be there for her. She means all those things and probably a lot more. I think I know that feeling, Asumi. I’ve felt very much along for the ride for the past months, through the hospital until I ended up here. Exiled from my old life and thrust into a new one. I’ve felt helpless. Though the most important thing I could actually do to make my condition better, I just forgot about.
“I said it before, you don’t need to do anything.” I smile at her, “but maybe you can remind me to take my medication tomorrow morning.”
“Okay. I will.”
“And I’m sorry for making you worry. But I think I understand you.” I slowly sit up straight in bed and put an arm on her shoulder. “I would also feel terrible if something happened to you and I wasn’t able to do anything.”
Putting myself in her shoes I can hardly blame her for thinking what she could have done differently. There’s a third person I think of that has that in common with us, Iwanako. That’s pretty much exactly what she wrote in her letter. Before I can linger on her too much, the more important girl to me suddenly, but carefully wraps her arms around me.
I reply by tightening the hug, I want to show her that I’m not fragile. We stay that way for a while, just being close together in this moment. Knowing that we care enough to be there for each other, even though we might not always be able to actually do anything but that we want to try anyways.
After the hug ends, Asumi plants a quick kiss on my lips. I almost reciprocate with a deeper kiss. But just before I go for it, I notice something out of the corner of my eye. A blonde girl peeking through the unclosed door, trying desperately not to laugh.
“Naomi? How long have you been standing there?” I call out.
“Only for a minute, good to see you'e up again Hisao!" she replies."Dinner is ready! But it shouldn’t turn cold just yet, if you two want to spend a few more minutes in bed together.”
With a red face Asumi gets off the bed, giving me enough room to get from underneath the sheets. We quickly make our way downstairs; I did sleep through lunch and I could use a good meal like the one we had yesterday.