Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story [Updated 10/26/15]

[brythain]

I know a particular weak spot in that fence, if anyone needs help.

[HipsterJoe]

Damn, that's cold Suzu. I'm as curious as Seiki to find out who she was pre-mysterious event.

“Who am I?”

I am completely incapable of taking this line seriously ever since watching Scrubs which kind of ruined the effect you were going for. But that's my failing, not yours.

[Solistor]

It's a bit of an interesting coincidence that the two ongoing amnesiac fics are tackling similar issues involving memory. Namely, the editing or deletion of memories. You've snagged my interest completely, bubeez, and I'm looking forward to more!

[bubeez]

Thank you!!

I remember hearing about another amnesia fic, although I don't read much anymore. Even if I would really like to :/ The similarities must be really racking up, haha. Although, there's still a lot to explore at the same time. Memories are a really powerful plot device

[Solistor]

Actually, there's not a whole lot of overlap if you were worried about similarities. Even the memory editing plot device is handled differently, so it's really just the idea of it that's similar.

[Gajzla]

“Hey, Seiki…*yawn.*”

Not a fan of the *yawn*, think it would be better as a normal sentence.

“Who am I?”

I am completely incapable of taking this line seriously ever since watching Scrubs which kind of ruined the effect you were going for. But that's my failing, not yours.

I had exactly the same thing, yours is not the only mind television has corrupted.

I liked this chapter, as others have said the unreliable narration is really good at drawing you in. I’m not sure I like the idea of her being able to edit her own memories, if that’s what the last line is implying. But, you’ve surprised me before in a nice way, so I’m sure you will again. Keep up the good work, looking forward to more.

Ps: Would it be possible to add the update date in the thread title? Thanks.

[Blank Mage]

Damn, that's cold Suzu. I'm as curious as Seiki to find out who she was pre-mysterious event.

“Who am I?”

I am completely incapable of taking this line seriously ever since watching Scrubs which kind of ruined the effect you were going for. But that's my failing, not yours.

And I'm incapable of discounting this line ever since watching Rolling Bomber, but that's my failing, not anyone else's.

[bubeez]

I REFUSE TO CHANGE THAT LINE NO MATTER HOW MANY REFERENCES IT SPAWNS

[Rasxela]

Made an account to say I've been enjoying this quite a bit so far, and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where this is headed.

[bubeez]

Thank you! It makes me very happy to hear that! Welcome to the members club, dear reader

On another note, finals are just about over, so expect a new chapter in a few days! Perhaps a week? (Probably broken up into two parts, because I really liked that format.)

[bubeez]

Can You Remember Me? Chapter 12 Part 1

What do I have to lose?

….

The silence is deafening. I can hear a low ocean lull, even though we’re miles away from any coast. Suzu seems out of words. I guess she doesn’t know who I am, either.

….

What do I have to lose?

The thought returns time and time again, repeating its message with seemingly no end.

Family? The thought comes and goes; I don’t even want to consider that a possible thing to lose. I hardly had one, anyway.

Friends? I can’t even remember them properly. A picture had to show that to me.

Myself? It’s comforting to think about, but...

...

My body twitches forward, toward my telescope, as if it’s going to make the decision for me. My hand limply falls onto the scope, cold to the touch and terrifying. It points upward, staring up into the night sky.

The metal squeak of an opening door breaks my stream of consciousness. I had almost done it… but now I’m turned back to reality. I just now realize how cold it was, and how dark the rooftop gets late at night.

“Hello?” A tired, male voice calls out. Hmm. I remember that, at least.

I turn towards the noise and light. “Hisao? Is that you?”

In between us, and as I have just noticed, is Suzu, deeply asleep and lying in the cold and dark.

…

…

It’s crazy how quickly sceneries can change. Just a few minutes ago, I was alone on a roof, contemplating the forces of the universe beyond my control. Not a first, but I was going to do something very permanent.

I needed someone, and it looks like someone needed me instead.

I tuck Suzu into her bed; something I’ve done a million times. Not usually half-carried by a boy and me from the rooftop, but this part of the procedure is back to the usual. I make sure to add a few extra blankets for her... it was my fault, anyway. I don’t know if I forgive her yet… but that can wait.

The note I left on her door is rather sloppily-written. I give it another read as I pass by. “Suzu, come over when you wake up. –Seiki”

I glance at the television and my collection of video games I haven’t touched in a long while. Suzu obviously hasn’t done much with them either, as a thin layer of dust is coating most of it.

I grab a handful of games and two controllers, scooping up the console and tucking it under my arm. The small TV fits under my other arm comfortably.

…

I use my leg to masterfully swing the door open, not bothering to be quiet. When Suzu sleeps, she’s basically a rock. As I walk through the doorway, I take Hisao by surprise. After carrying Suzu here, he volunteered to wait outside. Quite the gentleman. That earned him points.
His eyes grow wide after seeing what is occupying my hands. However, he catches his own expression and shakes his head back to his normal, pseudo-serious face.

“Well? What are you going to do now?” I ask after a few uninterrupted moments.

Hisao scratches his head; uncharacteristic of him. “Well, if there really was no Astronomy Club meeting, then…” he mumbles the rest of his sentence.

I shoot him a half-smile and hand him the TV. “Come on, then.”

He happily obliges, looking glad that I offered. Now I have to break it to him that I don’t exactly know how to get to my room today.

Ahh, the numbers. That should help. Still standing outside of Suzu’s door, I release the console and controllers from my hands and lay them gently on the carpet.

As I unbutton the sleeves on my blouse, it occurs to me that this might seem strange to Hisao. “Just checking something… no weird ideas over there.”

Hisao nearly fumbles the TV at the mention of anything explicit. I seem to learn how to push one of his buttons every single day. He sighs deeply to dispel his own nervousness. “Right, Miss ‘Meet Two Girls On the Rooftop In the Middle of the Night.’ Weird ideas.”

That gets a laugh from me as I get the room number from its usual dormant spot on my arm. “RN: 119.” Awesome.

I notice Hisao staring in the corner of my eye. Well, why not. I show him my forearm, and the black numbers covering its surface. “Just a way to get around the amnesia.”

He nods, hardly fazed by my mentioning of it. Sometimes I forget it’s a big ‘no-no’ here at Yamaku. Hope I didn’t go too far; it can still be a touchy subject between friends, too.

We carry the electronics down the hall, towards my room. A flight of stairs down, and we make it. As we reach the door, it barely occurs to me that I’m showing Hisao my room… Not that there’s much to show, but the thought flusters me for a moment.

I push through the door with my open hand. The wonders of not needing a key to my room. I hear Hisao mumble a little “what” as I demonstrate my lack of a door lock. I left the lights on since I last left this room… my bad.

He looks around, probably noticing my lack of furnishings. He quickly sits the TV on my desk, next to my lava lamp. Where did I even get that from? It was… umm…

My head gets a slight cramp. It just won’t stop today… maybe just an aftershock from earlier today?

Hisao pokes me in the arm—I had been standing still for a while. I snap out of it and lay the console on the floor, setting up the cables as well… the tangled mess enrages me. Hisao notices my struggle and comes to help defeat the beast.

Soon afterward, Hisao and I are sitting side-by-side on the floor, eyes glued to the virtual world in front of us. Not that we need to be super focused; it’s a rather simple game.

“Wow, Seiki. You didn’t tell me you were this good!” he says, still paying attention to the TV.

“Don’t doubt my powers, Hisao.” I reply, also glued to the television. I’m definitely winning.

Hisao coughs, trying to put on a smug expression with matching voice. It doesn’t suit his usually calm look. “Well, if this were chess, things would be a lot different,
Misato.” He says this as the “Game Over” sign flashes over his side of the screen.

Misato? I didn’t think I had told him my last name. “Wow, I didn’t know I had told you that one yet.” We reset so Hisao can play again. “Oh, and I would destroy you at chess... Nakai.”

Again, Hisao and I do our little verbal dance. I’m glad I don’t have to remember all of the steps… I just let it happen.

He puts the controller down for a quick second to rub his hands together, probably still numb from being on the roof not too long ago. “Well, we can just find out later.

There are chessboards in the Council room, you know.”

I shudder at the thought. It causes me to lose my concentration on the game and miss the platform I was jumping for. “Not any time soon, Hisao.”

“Why not?” He asks me rather uncharacteristically. I’ve never experienced a sense of directness in his voice until now.

I lose another life, giving Hisao another chance to catch up. Game over for me, but Hisao can still keep going until he runs out of lives. His character is a few levels behind, but he did pick up on this game rather quickly. I start to get a little nervous. I’ve never lost at this before.

Hisao’s next step in our verbal dance was more like stomping his foot down. I try to make the next step like usual. “Well, Hisao, I’m not very comfortable in there.”

I watch his points climbing as he plays the next level. He’s definitely getting better. As he plays, his eyes become more focused, but he still manages to talk. “….Okay.”

It’s Hisao’s last life, and he is still quite behind from where I am. He clears his throat and pauses the game. “If I can beat your score, come with me tomorrow.”

A slight panic stirs inside me. “Why-“

I cut myself off. Does he know about everything, too?

The room grows silent. Unnaturally silent. It feels like our little verbal dance was cut off early, because one of us decided to leave. Our talk is now replaced by sound effects coming out of the TV.

Hisao has shifted into first gear, blazing through the levels and making our point difference a lot smaller. I’m not sure he was playing this well a few minutes ago…

I don’t know why I’m playing along with this. It’s not really about wanting to play chess, or being with Hisao. We could do either of those things without necessarily going to the Student Council room. It’s just… a little voice is telling me I want to know about that past I almost erased...

In my deep thought, I had ignored the game being played in front of me. Hisao is only a few more points away from my score… on an easy level, too… his victory is basically in the bag.

At the last jump, I notice Hisao’s eyes flash towards me, his character stopping. It could have been half of a second…

He misses the jump, his character plunging into the depths right before he would have overtaken me. Game Over.

The silence between us returns, the game sounds no longer occupying our ears. Hisao sighs unrealistically and puts the controller down. “I guess not, then.”

I put my head down on my knees from my sitting position. “You threw the game…”

He laughs, saying nothing else. I look up to observe him. I know he gave up in the game… but why? I sound disappointed...

I think I wanted him to win. I really, really wish he did. And he knew that, too.

Hisao yawns, rubbing his eyes and resting his head on his arm, supported by his knee. He’s still a lightweight at late night, I guess. He’ll really need to fix that if he wants in on the Astronomy Club.

I nudge him to keep him awake. “I have an extra pillow and blankets in the closet.”

He looks at me, worriedly. “Are you sure I can-“

…

Oh yeah, Hisao is male. Of opposite gender to me. Not female. A blush grows across my face upon the realization of what I just asked. “Yeah… It’s fine. I don’t want you to freeze out there.”

He nods, and I spot a flustered expression before he turns around and heads into my closet. He pulls out a plain pillow and my kind-of girly blanket... black and pink zebra stripes.

Hisao looks at it, laughing. “Really?”

I put my hand up to my face. “It’s that, or freeze to death. Your pick.”

Hisao picks up the blanket and sets it aside in the main room. However, he takes one last look inside my closet. “By the way, are these all library books?”

…

Oh. So that’s where they’ve been! I walk across the room to Hisao’s side. “I forgot I had these… Thanks.”

He gives me a proud look, as if he had accomplished something for himself. Well, that’s one problem taken care of. I’ll see Yuuko tomorrow about these.

I pull them into the main room, by the door. That way I don’t forget. As a precaution, I give Hisao a stern look as he settles in on my floor. “Remind me tomorrow morning.”

As I’m by the doorway, I reach for the light switch… I stop myself before I completely turn off the light. I realize that very few people have seen what Hisao is about to. I get Hisao’s attention. “Ready to see something cool?”

He sits up, rather quickly. What’s he all excited about? “Sure.”

“It’s kind of special to me… it’s like showing my real side, Hisao.”

He nods, and I take that as an all-clear. I flick off the light switch.

In an instant, my glow-in-the-dark wallpaper begins to illuminate the room. The dim stars slowly gain power in the darkness, dotting the room in small shapes. Galaxies of varying sizes begin to form, different colors and hues blending in between stretches of black and white.

I can still see Hisao’s face as he’s taking it all in. His eyes sparkle as they reflect the little stars I can see inside them. I feel tempted to tell him to make some space on the floor for me.

Instead, I hop into my bed. I’m still wearing my school uniform, but I don’t plan on changing in front of Hisao. He already has the privilege of sleeping here anyway.

“It’s beautiful.” Hisao says, as he moves from sitting up to lying down. His eyes are still open, surveying my wallpaper.

I can see Hisao just barely, as he has taken the spot on the floor almost directly under my bed. His bangs still manage to stay perfectly aligned even as he’s lying down.

Beautiful is a flexible word.

I snuggle deeper into my pillow, but quickly turn over and stare at the ceiling. Whenever I see this wallpaper, I feel like I can just tell the truth, and be me. That’s why I call it my real side… and why I treasure it.

“I’m just scared.” I say, to break the silence.

“Of what?” Hisao replies, out of sight from me.

“I don’t know. My head hurts every time I see a Council member. It’s never happened before.”

Hisao grows silent for a moment. “… Is it related to your amnesia?”

I sigh deeply. “I’m pretty sure. They have memories of me that I don’t have…”

Hisao ruffles his pillow, or possibly turned to face me. I keep my eyes fixed on the ceiling; I think seeing his face right now would make this too embarrassing.

He continues. “…Do you think they’re mad at you for forgetting them?”

“I don’t think so. Not Misha, at least. She was just sad…”

Hisao clears his throat. “I’m sure Shizune is the same way.”

Yeah, I know, Hisao. She could never be mad about that. I have a feeling its more to protect herself. I decide to change the subject. “Why did you let me win?”

Hisao laughs. The cute laugh, too. It forces a smile on my face that I haven’t seen all day as Hisao talks. “It was kind of a cheap way to try and read your mind.”

I rub my eyes. Maybe I’ll let Hisao tell me what I’m thinking… because I’m not really sure of myself at this point. “Yeah? What did you find out?”

“That you really wanted me to win,” Hisao says. “…and that it’s probably why you were crying on the roof.”

I can’t help but smile. He really doesn’t know. But he still tried to help. “Alright, you’re psychic.” I can’t see him, but I can tell his ‘accomplished smile’ is back.

I guess I can tell him, if I’m going to tell anybody at all.

…

…

“…and Yuuko gave me a picture of us together.” I try to recount all of the information I have… even about the memory erasing. Some time has passed since we started talking.

“So… what are you going to do now?” Hisao finally says something after keeping quiet during most of my story.

“I do want to go see them… but I’m honestly terrified. I thought I knew who I was before any of that happened. Can you imagine it?”

Hisao thinks for a second. “I felt like that when I first came here.” He falls silent, but I wait for him to continue. “I know it’s not the same, but… I wasn’t ‘disabled’ until they told me to come to Yamaku. This place feels like a different world, you know? Especially when I walk into town and feel the difference.” Hisao falls silent again, longer this time.

I pick up the conversation. “What did you do?”

He gives a small chuckle before continuing. “I met someone who made it worth staying.”

The hairs on my neck stand up upon hearing what Hisao had to say. Some part of me wants to hear who it is… I doubt he’ll tell me.

Before I can ask, Hisao shoots his hand up towards me. “Hand.”

I’m confused. “Huh?”

Hisao continues, trying to mumble away his nervousness. “…Give me your hand.”

The blush from a few hours ago comes back. “Umm… alright.” I squint to find the exact details from his hand, letting mine fall into his palm. He locks our hands together, squeezing tightly. I’m not sure why we’re doing this… but I don’t hate it.

Hisao speaks more softly. “You don’t know until you try. You might find something.”

I giggle. “This is so cheesy, Nakai.”

Hisao laughs too, very faintly. He must be really sleepy at this point. “Sure, Misato, but I’m sure it worked.”

I squeeze his hand for assurance. “Yeah, yeah. Mr. ‘sleep in a girl’s room and ask her for her hand.’ It worked.”

He is losing his grip. “Tomorrow, then… Don’t be scared… Team Coffee-“

He passes out before I can say anything else. I’m not sure what Team Coffee is… but it seemed important to him….

…

I’m glad he was here…. And knows who I am…

…

…. Alright, then….

...

Tomorrow.

[Mirage_GSM]

Ooh, he asked for her hand...
Cheesy it is

Nice chapter again!

[Craftyatom]

So I stopped keeping up with this story a few months ago. I had wondered many times if I should come back to it, only to back out every time. Finally, sitting in the airport with 90 minutes to kill, I came back. Ordinarily I'd be sad to have missed so many updates, but honestly, I'm quite glad that I didn't read ch11 until 12 was already released, because after such a sad and unsettling piece of story, I really, really needed a pick-me-up from our now-cautious stargazer's love interest.

Thanks a billion for such a brilliant story thus far, and I can't wait to see the next installment!

[Gajzla]

Well that was a cute chapter, I didn’t seem to flow as well as the last, at least to me. But thats a minor compliant when the story continues to be engaging, nice work, keep it up.

[azumeow]

We all know how the next update will start. I've seen 50 First Dates. I know the shtick.