Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story [Updated 10/26/15]

[bubeez]

Well, this would be my first post so an introduction is afoot! I'm bubeez, and I really liked that Suzu fanfic so I thought I would give it a try. I may or may not have been heavily inspired by Scissorlips and his talented words.

Anyway, this is about a girl in 3-3 that didn't make it to class on the day of Hisao's introduction. Seiki is... forgetful. She goes to Yamaku due to her amnesia. Much of the story includes Seiki's best friend Suzu, her narcoleptic companion. While the pseudo-pseudo Suzu route is fantastic and the greatest fan-fiction out there, it isn't specifically necessary to read this story. I would still recommend reading it here: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=6192#p95867




Can You Remember Me?

“A little to the left.”

“Gotcha.”

“Too far. A little to the right.”

My sleepy companion lets out a yawn that calls her to the land of dreams.

“…Am I gonna have to help you all night?” she manages to say before succumbing to another yawn.

She takes her hands off of the telescope and lets them drop to her sides rather lazily. Her light blue hair shines nicely under a full moon. If I were a boy, this could be the part where I sweep her off her tired feet and carry her home. Unluckily for Suzu, it’s a beautiful night and I plan to take it all in.

“Maybe I will if you pretend to fall asleep again,” I snap.

I’m getting pretty good at these back and forths since Suzu and I met this year. It’s around this point of the conversation that she’ll try to use her narcoleptic powers to escape.

“But Seiki… losing energy… aaahhh…. Tell Miki… she can have… my hand…”

Suzu’s tragically hilarious performance involving our one-handed friend makes me giggle a little, almost knocking my telescope out of place. Again. Suzu already fell asleep and knocked it over earlier today.

Ehh. I already forced her up here even if she doesn’t like stairs. I guess I can surprise her now, even if she ended up being a crappy assistant. You better appreciate this, Suzuki. I’ll remember this debt for years to come.

Well I’ll try to remember. Good enough.

“I brought a sleeping bag and pillow. It’s over the-“

Before I can finish my sentence, Suzu follows my finger pointing to the sleeping bag tucked away in one corner of the roof. She can move surprisingly fast when it comes to finding a way to sleep. Maybe she’s like a sloth and saves all of her energy for crazy bursts of speed? All those hours of sleep have to count for something.
Wondering about that answer, I turn to Sleeping Beauty to find that she’s already deeply nuzzled into the sleeping bag, probably dreaming in her comic book world. Maybe tonight is finally the night she sleep talks about my superpowers in her mind. So… why do we get along anyway?

It’s definitely not the reason we’re here on the roof anyway. That’s just for me. I’d call myself a little selfish, asking her to keep me company while I watch the stars, but I force myself to remember the all-nighters she would make me pull. Suddenly, I feel a lot less guilty.

I look back into the telescope Suzu was helping me adjust. Tonight is especially beautiful through the lens. The infinitely black sky is broken up by bright patches of light. Some of them make swirls, and some are just big, beautiful blobs of light. Their wondrous glow makes me feel comfortable, even against the cold breeze of 3 AM. I feel a sense of safety, like on any other night I find myself here, looking up into a million different worlds through a lens. It puts my life into perspective for me. I can come here and remember I don’t really matter all that much to any world, and I mean nothing to the galaxies above me. The stars, the planets, even the blackness of space… I
can get lost in their presence, forgetting about myself, my memory problems, even my darkest secrets…

Well, this is the astronomy club of Yamaku high school. In the flesh. I made this club a year ago, partly out of fear of the Student Council. At that point, they would pick up anyone without a club. So I made one, even if the only equipment we had was my telescope. A cool, late night club. That hangs out on rooftops. With two members. Like a midnight Student Council.

Basically, nighttime is ten times cooler than daytime.

I can’t really say we have perfect attendance though, I’m not sure if it counts if Suzu’s unconscious at the moment. Then again, she isn’t really to blame. I think about living with the fear that some bad timing, just a slip, could be the end of me… or someone else, for that matter. Even if she doesn’t seem like it, I bet Suzu worries about it a lot.

“Hi.”

I hear a familiar, tired voice coming from a stuffed sleeping bag. I’m awoken from my own daydreams- err, I mean nightdreams…- by someone waking up as well. I realize she may have wondered why I’m staring in her general direction with such a worried look on my face.

“Hi.”

“How did they look tonight?” Suzu asks me, rubbing her eyes with her sweater sleeves. She really is adorable, in a sleepy kind of way. Does she even know it’s only been 5 minutes?

I think about her question. Then I think about it again. One more time. Why the hell don’t I have an answer?

“…looks like I forgot.”

“Is it the amnesia again?”

Suzu doesn’t move an inch, but at least I have her attention. Most of it. The part of her brain that isn’t thinking about sleep.

“Yeah.”

I let my eyes meet the floor, trying to look as sad as I can.

"By the way… who are you again?” I say, with just a hint of mockery. Mockery at myself, I guess.

The joke is well received by my sleep-deprived audience. A smile starts to become visible under her messy blue hair.

“Ha, like I haven’t heard that a million times…“

Suzu’s head falls back down with the grace of a bowling ball. Well, at least there’s a pillow this time. Her narcolepsy and my momentary amnesia don’t get along. Sometimes she’ll pass out in a hallway, so I’ll drag her into a classroom to give her some peace and quiet, and I’ll forget where the hell I put my best friend when I come back with some coffee. Yeah… we get confused when we hang out. That’s alright, though. At the end of the day, my sleepy friend and I share everything over a cup of coffee.

I go back to my telescope. Hopefully I can remember what the other end looks like. Over the year that I’ve been at Yamaku, I remember almost none of the stars I’ve seen through this telescope. But I still come here every other night. Even if I can’t remember them, I know they’re worth seeing.


The clock rolls to 4 AM. Time to pack up, I guess. I put my telescope back under the stairs that lead to the roof, and make my way to my room. Wait… which room again?

I undo my uniform’s cuff and roll it up to my elbow. The sharpie stains the insides of my uniform, but thankfully it’s still white on the outside. Four series of numbers
are written on my forearm: My phone number. No, that’s not the one I need.

Suzu’s phone number. Not that one either.

Student ID number. I usually need that to buy lunch. But still no.

I follow the numbers until I get to a message that says “RN: 119.” Room Number. There we go.

I have these copied into my cell phone too, in little messages, but I usually leave it in my room. Well, I would bring it if I remembered to actually bring it half the time. And when I do remember…. Well, this isn’t my first phone. Or second. Third time isn’t the charm. So I leave it in my room. Writing it is a safer option. Last I remembered, I can’t forget to bring my arm.

I roll down my sleeve, still slightly darkened, and follow the numbers on the doors until I find my room. I still wonder exactly how my condition works- it’s still a mystery to me. I don’t decide what I remember and what I don’t. I wonder if I should make a checklist of what I remember and what I don’t. Well, here I go.

I can remember schoolwork. That’s pretty cool. I’m smart by some standards, and by standards I mean Mutou doesn’t glare at me in class. I pass right under the radar.

I can remember the people that are close to me. It just… takes a while. And they fade away after a few years.

I randomly forget what’s going on around me. 5 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour ago, doesn’t matter. Something ends up escaping me. Like, what am I doing in this hallway?

I need to get to my room… which is…number… uhhh… damn.

I roll my sleeve up again. I wonder how the hell I can forget three numbers so fast. Oh yeah.

I suck with remembering numbers.

I look up at the door numbers and I see I’ve been standing in front of my room this whole time. My stupidity knows no bounds. My room is the only one without a lock, since I would just lose the key anyway. Thanks Yamaku, for caring about my needs before my own safety. I’m sure sleeping in a room with no lock is better than sleeping in a hallway though. My free range room is probably the only one through the whole school. Unless someone had no arms, or something.

My room is pretty boring by most standards. Just the standard furniture- bed, closet, desk. Blah Blah Blah. My lava lamp is glowing on my desk, and it might be the only memorable thing in my room except for the mess. Oh, and my ceiling. Glow in the dark, galaxy wallpaper. It’s my prized possession, and I usually forget everything else about my room except for it. Sorry lava lamp, however long you’ve been there, maybe next time.


I slump into bed. So comfortable. So much better than the cold roof. Sleep takes over me as I stare at my beloved wallpaper. As long as I have it, I can drift off into space whenever I want… and here I go, into my dreams…



…I wonder if I look as cute as Suzu when I sleep…



Wait a minute.


Oh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap. Suzu. Roof. She’s. Still. There.

End of Chapter 1

[Mirage_GSM]

Writing is good except for this:

I undoue my uniform’s cuff and roll it up to my elbow

About the characters...
While Scissorlips' story is fine in many ways, in others I wish so many writers wouldn't try to copy it. One of those things is the Hollywood depiction of her narcolepsy which you seem to compound by some Hollywood depiction of amnesia.

The other thing is the unbelievable drama - I'll just hope that you won't try to copy that as well...

[bubeez]

Thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely keep that in mind for the next few chapters.

[LilyKitsune]

There was a story about someone with amnesia. Kagami, I believe. Not sure how you feel about that.

[emmjay]

As an astronomy buff myself, I quite enjoyed this. Love the description of the feeling of stargazing. Some good humor, too. (Should have seen that last line coming.)

One thing I do have to point out, though, is that [shimmie=1827]Suzu's in the Literature Club[/shimmie]. But hey, that particular fact isn't mentioned in KS itself, so you're certainly free to say otherwise.

[CoffeeDrive]

Not a Hollywood depiction, this is actually what Transient Global Amnesia sufferers are like.

Unless you're not going for that, then you are pretty much hollywooding it.

Nice story though.

[AntonSlavik020]

Seems solid so far. Really like the humor. I was wondering myself how accurate this depiction of amnesia is, but apparently there really is a type where you can suddenly loose memories that quickly. And is weird I forgot about Suzu too? Probably because I was caught up in the story.

[forgetmenot]

There was a story about someone with amnesia. Kagami, I believe. Not sure how you feel about that.

Indeed, there is, because I write it. However...

Not a Hollywood depiction, this is actually what Transient Global Amnesia sufferers are like.

Exactly. And Kagami suffers from Acute Anterograde Amnesia (think 50 First Dates). This is a whole different ball park, and even if it weren't, I don't think any singular author has dibs on a specific disability. Seiki is obviously not a copycat character in any sense of the word. It'd be ridiculous for bubeez to change his/her story simply because the main character happens to suffer from a similar (read: not the same) disability. Especially when that other character is also completely non-canonical.

I'm also a proponent of fanfiction that doesn't suck, which this most definitely does not. At this point I'm willing to forego any reservations I may have about "Hollywood" disabilities as long as the writing remains solid. Looking forward to future updates! Good job.

[LilyKitsune]

There was a story about someone with amnesia. Kagami, I believe. Not sure how you feel about that.

Indeed, there is, because I write it. However...

You mean "wrote"

Because it has been so long since the last post >:(

[CoffeeDrive]

There was a story about someone with amnesia. Kagami, I believe. Not sure how you feel about that.

Indeed, there is, because I write it. However...

You mean "wrote"

Because it has been so long since the last post >:(

Saying things like that can get you banned.

[bubeez]

Can You Remember Me? Chapter 2

“Suzu! Are you here?!” I’m half screaming, half catching my breath after 3 winding flights of stairs.

I race around the roof, the looming nighttime making it hard to see much on the floor. I’m erratic at this point. The single floodlight hanging above the entrance doesn’t reach very far until it’s over powered by the darkness.

“Mmmnnnhhh.” A grumbling voice speaks from the floor.

Well, at least I know she’s here, alive, and somewhat conscious. That’s an improvement. I catch my breath for a moment.

“Suzu?” I say again to the pitch dark, this time making sure to note where the sound’s coming from.

“……Mmmnnnhh.” Another ping, 10 degrees to the right.

I correct my angle and walk forward, hands out just an inch above the floor.



Ahh, I see. A game of Suzu Polo.


“Suuuuzzuuuu.” I try my best to sound like a little girl innocently playing… I end up sounding like a horror movie sound bite.

“…Mmmnhh.” Suzu gives me her best zombie impression. Maybe she picked up on my horror movie special effects.

The sound is just a few degrees to my left. I must have veered off course somewhere. Just gotta adjust a little…

I look up as I shift directions to match the sound. Coincidentally, the game of Suzu Polo leads me right on course to the North Star. Celestial navigation, don’t fail me now.

I take a few steps, hands still outstretched.

My hand finally makes contact with something. Something wet. Is it raining or something? There are no clouds out, though….

Oh god.

“Fish out of water.” I say, moving my hand away from a newly discovered face. Suzu’s face. Half-covered in drool.

If I was worried about leaving my friend up here, I don’t show it. I handled it on my own this time. Meanwhile, I notice Suzu’s finally awake.

“You okay, Seiki?” Suzu’s emerald eyes beam up at my sapphire eyes. She looks like a mess, but I probably do too. Three flights of stairs, a bedhead, and late night debauchery will do that to any girl.


Suzu begins to sit up, so I begin to form the apology.

“I’m fine, Suzu. Just worried. I kind of... err… left you up here again. Sorry...”

Suzu packs the sleeping bag away, satisfied with her nap. A rare occasion.

“Well, you remembered eventually. And that’s just fine with me.” Suzu replies, with an air of friendly indifference. She isn't even fazed.

“…Right, Suzu.” I say with a degree of uncertainty. Suzu doesn’t seem to notice.

...

...

How much longer until I get one of us killed?

...

...


I push the thought away. You can forget that one, brain. I’ll allow it. Suzu Polo was a nice memory, keep that one.

“Seiki, what’re you…” a yawn interrupts Suzu. “…thinking about?” she says after a quick wipe of her eyes.


I’d rather not tell her I was thinking about our eminent demise.


“Just thinking about my video games that happen to be in your room…” I say rather slyly, a slight grin on my face.

Suzu sighs heavily, not one of her sleeping sighs, but the kind of sigh that declares “Not this again.”

Hey, what can I do? Since my TV was… “acquired”...by someone else, I’ve had to resort to playing my games in Suzu’s room. My system and games only survived because I forgot them under my bed the first few weeks here.

Well, there’s not much else to steal anyway. Unless someone wants cool wallpaper. Or that…. Thing on my desk. It escapes my mind now, but I know it’s the second of the two things in my room…

Suzu doesn’t utter a single word as we make our way to her room. We’ve done this routine plenty of times. 5 AM is a popular time for Astronomy Club antics.

Ahh, Astronomy Club. Getting our club together wasn’t easy. We fought tooth and nail, sword and shield, sleepily and forgetfully for our club rights. There was a scary meeting with two girls from our class… that much I remember…

Astronomy club can only practically meet at night, so Suzu could fit it into her schedule, even with Literature Club. We got special permission to be on the roof past curfew, too. We never really had physical proof, but the guards just stopped paying attention to the two confused girls heading up the stairs every few nights.

Speaking of confused, I’m not sure how long it’s been since we’ve been in Suzu’s room.

Suzu’s already talking to the love of her life in one corner.

“I made it, bed...” Suzu barely exhales as she sinks into her pillow.

“Just marry that thing already!” I shout perhaps a little too loudly. Even when I’m not sure how or when I got into a situation, it’s just polite to act like I was there the whole time.

I settle down on the floor, littered with pillows for Suzu’s emergency crashes. Her TV sits on the opposite side of her room, facing me. A medium sized TV, but it works well enough. My cartridges and discs are spewed about on the floor next to the TV, in a chaotically but arranged way. Their just far enough that Suzu doesn’t have to worry about falling on them.


I’m not tired tonight. Sleeping early on Saturdays means I can wake up to stargaze and just let Sunday slowly roll in. With some games to pass the time.


Weekends are the best.

“By the way. How long have we been here?” I ask.

I put my back against her mattress. I’m pretty comfortable, but there’s a distinct lack of stars in this room.

“Seiki, really? It’s been five seconds.” Suzu acts annoyed, but her tired delivery kills the effect. “I still get confused about your amnesia, you know…”


….Me too, Suzu. Me too.

I don’t answer back for a while. It gets a little too quiet, until Suzu breaks it.

“Would you read it to me again?” she asks.

Read what?

“I’m not following, Suzu.” I say, back still turned to her. She can’t see me, but my face is scrunched up in concentration.

“Never mind. Just read this to me.” She shuffles a random assortment of things on her desk until she finds the paper she’s looking for. She drags it to the end of the desk, and lets it fall gently to the floor in front of me. Her arm droops down and nearly hits me before snaking back into her bed.

I pick up the paper. It’s folded into three sections and folded together. A brochure?

“Seiki. Don’t you remember?” Suzu’s eyes drift towards me as she shoots the question. She’s changed to a more serious tone, halfway between a lecture and a scolding.
But her eyes tell me a different story. She’s expecting to be disappointed.

But she isn’t completely crushed yet. She still has hope that I’ll remember, which makes my next thought hard to say.

....


“No Suzu, I don’t. Sorry.”

This is the worst part. When it hurts someone other than me when I don’t recall something. I can live with it until someone I care about pays the price.

“It’s okay, Seiki. The answer is different every week.”

Oh. So I really am forgetting something important…

“Read the paper, Seiki. It helps me fall asleep. Help a poor insomniac out?”

Her humor is a little out of place, but I still appreciate her defusing the tension. Whew.

“Okay.” I would argue, maybe grab some of her Literature club books and read a little bit too her. I mean, a brochure? Why exactly…

Ouch. I feel another twang of guilt as I read the title. It’s a pamphlet.


“Transient Epileptic Amnesia: A Quick and Comprehensive Guide.”


I know what those three words mean. A curse.

I flip to the back of the center fold. The symptoms of the cursed.

Left side. Phone numbers of specialists. Homeopathic witch doctors. Terrible people.

Right side. Treatment plans, nutrition advice, and a picture of a healthy, nuclear family. Sickening.


Why does Suzu even have this?

“Have I been reading this to you every week?” I ask.

“Yup. Last week you remembered that you did, but this week you didn’t.” Suzu answers back rather passively.

Sorry, Suzu. It seems important to you and I let you down again.

I can’t see her right now, she’s still behind me. But I can tell she’s looking at me, tired eyes full of pity. I must look pathetic.

“But why? If you’ve heard it that often…” I trail off. Thankfully, Suzu picks up where I ended.

“Perspective, Seiki. Narcolepsy is easy to understand. I sleep sometimes, yeah. Simple. That kind of amnesia… I feel like I need to remember what you’re living through every week. So please, read it to me.” Suzu’s calm voice iterates. The usual sarcasm is gone.

“Damn it. Who said you could be a caring friend?” I sneer just a little. This is my way of being serious. Cloud it with humor.

“Reeeaaddd.” Suzu whines as she sinks lower into her bed.

Suzu really is the most caring person I’ve known. No one listens to a boring pamphlet every week unless it’s important to them. I’ll never forget you, Suzu.



I really hope so.



Another dismal thought. Toss it out, brain.

I pick up the pamphlet. I guess I’ll start with the title and introduction. Skip the phone numbers and treatment plans.

“Transient Epileptic Amnesia: A Quick and Comprehensive Guide…” I start half-heartedly.

Gotta keep going.

“T-E-A is a rare condition found in patients with epilepsy. It involves short, recurring episodes of amnesia.”

Yup. Epileptic too. The medicine helps, but… I’ll worry about that later. Suzu’s almost asleep.

“T-E-A involves three different types of memory problems…”

Yeah, I got all three. Don’t mock me, pamphlet.


“One. Accelerated Long Term Forgetting. The abnormally rapid loss of information. While retained for sometime, a recent memory can be lost and reclaimed sporadically. A patient can forget a conversation after a few hours, but remember it days or weeks later.”

Ha, I have too many funny stories with this one. But that’s for another time.

“Two. Remote memory loss. A loose, but constant loss of memories of past experience. A patient can remember an event in the past, but have no details or sense of time when trying to remember it….”

Damn those stars, always slipping from me.

“Three. A patient can also lose semantic information. This includes names of people, important numbers, and items that belong to them…”

Thanks number three, thanks for reminding me that I lose a lot of things. The millions of jackets and sweaters I leave behind everywhere I go… maybe it’s my insignia. See a women’s sweater hanging around Yamaku high school? Probably mine. I can’t make it two weeks without losing one.

I look back up at Suzu. Her eyes are closed, but the snoring hasn’t started yet. I’m down to one sentence left.

“…However, T-E-A does not affect someone academically. A patient can still retain skills learned. Many people with T-E-A have led lucrative and successful lives.”

That final message of hope is my message of despair. Yeah, I can learn things quickly. Sure, science is second nature to me. But what does that mean to the emptiest girl in the world?

…..

Suzu’s snoring shakes me from my thoughts.

Well, I still have her and Miki. Even if Miki doesn’t like the night life as much Suzu and I do.

I need a distraction. I’m forgetting and currently thinking about the wrong things. Suzu’s turned towards the wall now, away from my direction.

I move to the TV, careful not to wake the beast. I turn the volume to zero. I pick up a random cartridge and place it in the console. It doesn’t really matter what I play right now.

The only sound left in the room is the soft whir of the technology and Suzu’s tired snores.

My fingers get to work, moving the little man from the left of the screen to the right without dying.

He’s moving forward, but he’s alone, too. There’s no more moving to the left anymore, either. Like he just can’t look back, no matter how much he wants to. Running out of time. Too many constraints to worry about, even if he wanted to look back. Just keep moving forward. You too, Seiki.

Just keep moving forward.

[AntonSlavik020]

Not to much to say about this one. Liked the scene in Suzu's bedroom with Seiki reading Suzu to sleep, and the Suzu Polo game was fun.

[bubeez]

Can You Remember Me? Chapter 3

Click.


Click.


Click.

The three buttons on my sleeve come apart and fall on either side of my wrist. I check the numbers lining up my forearm, sloppily written in a rush this morning. The same four lines from last night are still there, but a fifth, fresher one is there- one that I don’t have to write on the weekends. Class room number is 3-… 2? A slight smudge ends up keeping possibly valuable information from me.

Looks like I’m taking a guess. I could have gone to class with Suzu or Miki, but i’m not a fan of getting to class late. I like to leave myself a decent shot at survival if I forget where I’m going.

I head up the stairs towards the classrooms. Not many people are around a whole hour before classes start, not even the teachers. Actually, teachers are always last to come in, now that I think about it. Especially my teacher, Mutou. That man has no sense of time, even with all of his fancy books explaining it.

I instinctually follow the numbers above the doors, just like in the dorms. Thanks, numbers. You never lie, even if I forget you.


Class 3-2. Here we are.

Empty classroom, like always. Chairs, like always. Teacher’s desk, like always. Yup, this is class alright.

I settle down on my seat, next to the window near the front.

The sun is hitting me particularly harshly today. It’s usually at a nice, comfortable angle; today, it’s practically the center of my vision. Not a fan of this. Well, time to settle down and watch the faces trickle in. Maybe today I’ll recognize one who isn’t Suzu or Miki.

First up, a girl with thick glasses. Well, I don’t remember her. She doesn’t seem to notice me as she sits down. Judging from the huge glasses, she’s blind.

Next, a boy with a cane. He slowly taps his way to the front of my row, careful not to hit anything, but with a routine fashion. Huh, another blind student. Alright then.

Another boy comes into the room. He also has thick glasses, and a large red and yellow scarf wrapped around his skinny neck. He looks into my general direction, moving his eyebrows up and down in an alternating, awkward caterpillar pattern. I believe he’s squinting, but for all I know he’s trying to seduce me. At least he actually sees me… kind of. It’s hard to tell exactly where he’s focused on.

It’s still a little pathetic I don’t even have a vague memory of my classmates. I don’t remember almost all of them being blind, either. Well, the more you know.
The class starts to fill up with more anonymous faces. Suzu and Miki should be here in a little while, class is starting pretty soon. Although, physics is more my kind of thing than either of theirs. It wouldn’t be the first time they skipped class and cursed Mutou’s name.


I can appreciate science, though. It makes the world mysterious. Even when you can explain something, there’s always another question to ask. Something is always unknown, just waiting to be discovered or explained. It’s an adventure of the mind.

Suzu’s more of a dream adventurer, and Miki adventures on her feet, wherever her heart takes her. We could be one big Freudian machine if we wanted to.


*WHACK!*

A metal cane smacks down on my knee, a ringing sensation running through my leg.

“Ouch!!” I yelp to the unknown source of my suffering. My eyes are still winced in pain.

“Oh dear, are you alright?” A soothing, worried voice dances through my ears.

I’m finally able to look up and see my attacker. And I really do have to look up to meet her eyes. Empty eyes, and so tall too. She could be almost a foot taller than me.
Her long, blonde hair is a surprising sight. In fact, this girl is almost the complete opposite of me.

“…err… I’m okay… thanks.” I reply to the tall blonde, stiffly but solidly.

Woo, social interaction complete. That was close. I was almost intimidated onto of saying nothing.

Wait… she’s still here. Her hands are just patiently folded on the top of her cane. Oh no. She wants something from me. Just a nice conversation? I can do that. Kinda. If you want to talk about space or video games or... oh, she’s blind. Come on, brain. Think about something you and a blind, tall, blonde girl have in common. Uhh…

The tall blonde speaks up. “Excuse me, I believe that is my seat.”


What.

“But I’ve sat here all year…” I reply, head down and red in the face.

Thankfully she can’t really see my awkward expression. I have the strangest feeling she can sense it, though. Maybe she can hear my heartbeat or something. Or maybe I’m just freaking out that someone other than my friends is talking to me.

“Oh my. I’m afraid I’ve had that seat all year, too. Can I ask your name?” she says with a warm smile.

“My name’s Seiki… pleased to meet you?”

Is that what you say? I don’t even know her name. Yeah, that was bad timing. Stupid stupid stupid. It doesn’t help that she has perfect manners, either. It’s a little creepy how proper she is, but it makes me a little jealous too.

“Lilly Satou. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Now on to our seating issue… I believe you’re in the wrong classroom, Miss Seiki. I’m the class representative, and I don’t believe we’ve ever met before.”

Crap. The sharpie failed me. The phone that I left in my room failed me too.

Most importantly, damn you, memory. You’ve failed me the most.

“Err… my bad. I’ll go now...” I apologize while I swivel out of the seat so… she… can sit. Uhm… she’s…


Aaand her name is gone.

I stand up, but I’m not sure what to do now. Class is going to start soon and I have no way of knowing where class could be. For all I know, I’m not even on the right floor…


I end up standing still for a minute, trying to recollect what probably isn’t there.

The blonde girl hasn’t sat down yet, but is facing my direction. Could I ask her for help? But does she even know I’m still here? The emptiness of her eyes doesn’t help, either.

She coughs slightly, grabbing my attention.

“Forgive me if I’m wrong, Miss Seiki, but are you lost by any chance?” she says, her soft smile still radiating.

That’s two strikes now. She remembers my name, and she isn’t lost. Oh, she’s gorgeous too. Three strikes, I’m out. I’m better off accepting her help, swallowing my pride.

I’m more helpless than someone who can’t see… Now I remember why I chose Yamaku.

“That would be nice... Thank you. I don’t remember where my class is.” I confess, trying to match her politeness.

“How strange indeed. If I may ask… why do you remember where you sit, but not where your classroom is?” she says cautiously, aware that the question is going to reveal sensitive information. “If you choose to tell me, of course.”


I’m not shy about my disability, unlike some other students. I can find a little pride in that. I can say, loudly and proudly, ‘I won’t remember you or this conversation because I have amnesia.’

“Uhh. Memory problems. I can remember some things that are second nature, but I forget a lot of important details.”

She’s pretty easy to talk to, since she seems like an open person. The kind that closed people like to hang out with.

Her shoulders ease a little, her question answered.

“Ahh, I can see how that would be a problem. Well let’s see… Do you know who your teacher is?”

Oh, I actually know that one. It took me a while, but his constant, scraggly presence that I absolutely have to pay attention to has forced him into my subconscious. Not that I remember anything about him, conversations we’ve had, anything besides the physics lessons… But that’s beside the point.


“His name is Mutou.”

Her smile widens just a little, enough to let me know she realized something.

“Ahh, I can take you there quite easily. I meet my friend Hanako there for lunch every day. But if you’re in that class….”

Her smile quickly ends, however. It’s replaced by a look of concern.

I know what she’s thinking about, even if she doesn’t want to bring it up. I guess I’ll address the elephant in the room full of blind people.

“I can’t recognize people well, either… Like, I don’t know who your friend Hanako is. And if I’ve seen you in class before, I wouldn’t remember. I can only remember people if it’s drilled into my head.”


Time to drive the point home, I guess. She deserves to know, I’ve bothered her all morning.

“Uhh… by the way, I don’t remember your name anymore. Sorry about that.”

Her face moves again, back to the warm smile we started with.

“My, that’s alright. Let me introduce myself again. Lilly Satou. Third year student of Yamaku, Class 3-2. A friend of Hanako, who's in Class 3-3, where my new friend Seiki is as well.”

Friend?

Lilly… Lilly… Lilly.

Seiki, remember this name. Use a nickname or a lame mnemonic or something… like, “Love Instantly Leaves Lemon Yelps.”

…Where did you even get that from, brain?


Lilly crosses her hands across her cane, ready to make another fanciful statement.

“Could you introduce yourself to me, one more time? Perhaps it might help with remembering me, among other things.”

The way she composes her sentences reminds me of a symphony. Not too direct, not too distant, but just enough to enamor. She’s amazing. Bright like the sun.


Well, introducing myself properly might not be a bad idea, it could help with the memory. And Lilly’s even willing to call me a friend, a girl who was just a nuisance in her life a few minutes ago.

“Well, my name is Seiki, also a third year student of Yamaku, Class…uhh… oh, Class 3-3. A friend of… Suzu and Miki in Class 3-3. And a friend of… Lilly… who’s in class 3-2.”

My second introduction’s a little shakier, but it goes well enough.

Okay, it really is time to go. There’s about 10 minutes left until class. I’d better tell La… Le.. Lu… Lilly! I’d better tell Lilly we have to go.

“Err, Lilly. It’s almost time for class, so…”

I let her reach the conclusion herself.

“Ahh. We’d better move along then, shouldn’t we?”

We make our way out of the classroom and into the hallway, still surprisingly empty. I guess even ten minutes is too early for a Monday. Lilly’s hand follows the wall, but she’s moving at a faster pace. It seems like it’s done out of habit rather than an actual “guiding” method. She really has gone through this routine.

She takes me around a corner, up a small slope, inside a cave, through the forest and over the rainbow…. Okay, not really. But the way to 3-3 is a complex maze. I’ve already forgotten which turns to take.

Meanwhile, Lilly is just calmly tapping away, comfortable with her surroundings. Her composure is unnerving in itself, from my desire to match it with equal grace.
Lilly starts a conversation with me mid-stride.


“By the way, Seiki…” she starts off, still looking straight ahead.

“Yeah?” I reply, turning to face her, even if it goes unnoticed.

“May I ask you one more question?” she says, her calm mannerisms undisturbed.

“Well… alright. What is it?” I ask, trying not to act nervous.

I have a bad feeling this question is going to be deep.


“Will you remember me the next time we meet, Seiki?”


Bad feeling affirmed, that’s a loaded question. The feeling of being a terrible person is back. It hurts to make such a kind person worry about me, too.

I have no reason to lie, though.

“I’m sorry, Lilly. It’s not up to me…” I say skittishly, head drooping to the ground in defeat to my condition.

I bet she doesn’t want any further contact, just like everyone else.

I understand, Lilly. You’re better off leaving the amnesiac alone. It’s not worth it. This isn’t self-pity for me, either. I’m looking out for Lilly’s best interests.


I start to speak quietly, ready to say what’s probably on her mind. Ready to walk away now.

“Look, I under-“

Lilly cuts me off.

“Well then, Miss Seiki, we’ll be having many more introductions from now on, won’t we?” she says with an amused giggle.

….

….

….

Lilly, you angel.

We make it to my rightful place of 3-3, and Lilly says goodbye at the door. She had a friend here… but I guess they’re just going to wait until lunch to catch up.

I lazily drift to my rightful place at the top left of the classroom, with a few more minutes to spare. Even after my adventure this morning, I still beat Suzu and Miki to class. Class hasn’t started, but I’m glad I actually got some sleep last night, unlike Saturday. But that’s how my schedule usually goes these days.

I’d say I’m in a rut, doing the same thing over and over, but everything feels refreshing and new to a girl who can’t remember a lot of things. Like I’m not picky about movies, video games, which constellations to look at…

Oh, there’s Suzu and Miki.

“Hey, sleepyheads.” I say as they take their seats next to me.

Suzu’s actually a sleepyhead, and Miki is just lazy and impassionate enough about class to be considered one. Runner-up sleepyhead of the class.

“Hey, Seiki…” Suzu says as her head finds a cozy spot on her desk. Drool on, Suzu.


“Yo, Seiki. Early as always, neeerd. Or maybe you forgot what time class starts?” Miki says playfully, her bandaged arm resting by her side as she salutes me with her only hand.

Hooooo. She’s starting off bold today. Two can play at that game, Miki.

“Yep, I’m early. It inspires everyone else. And to be a good class we really need all hands on deck.”

Miki puffs her cheeks out, but can’t hide a little smile. She’s coming back for Round 2.

“Thanks, Seiki. I’ll keep that in mind…. Maybe you can too!”

Now my smile is inescapable. Miki and I burst into laughter, almost falling out of our seats. It’s a great way to start off the morning. It helps that Miki and I aren’t afraid
of our conditions. We could do this all day.

Miki turns her attention to the girl between us, who’s slowly falling asleep already.

“Hey, Suzu. Before you knock out, who won today?”

Suzu makes a slight humming noise, concentrating on what was said. She’s always the judge of the fights between me and Miki. Her humming stops, and she starts her slurred speech.

“Mmnnn…today’s winner is… Mikiiii, the one-handed bandit.”

Now all three of us join in the laugh, sleepyhead included. But I feel like giving one more cheap shot.

“You had some good ones today, Miki. I really have to hand it to you…”

Haha. Take that!

I accept defeat and shake Miki’s hand through our fits of laughter.

Suzu rolls her head around on her desk, ruffling her hair and adding to the chaos with her own quiet laughs.

When we finally settle down, I notice a familiar man by the door of our classroom, his hands thrust in his lab coat. How long has he been there?
Looks like being late for class didn’t matter too much today.


“I’ll see you both in a little while.”

I scramble out of my desk and stand back up. I’m getting a real work out today…

“Laters, Seiki.” Miki says cheerfully, eyes closed in a smile.

Suzu’s eyes are closed for a different reason. If she were awake she would say bye, and that thought is enough for me.

I make my way past two girls heading to their own desks, their hands striking the air elaborately.

Sign language isn’t really a violent activity, but the way they do it… they could probably start a supernova. An implosion and an explosion…

The one with blue hair and glasses steals a look at me as I pass by. I’m a little taller than her, but her posture is much straighter, making her eye-to-eye with me. The intensity of her stare definitely feels like a supernova. Scary, but she seems remotely familiar.

Maybe I just remember feeling scared by her before. I mean, I can remember emotions. I know when I felt sad, even if there’s no memory attached to it. Same thing I’m feeling here.

“Seiki, hurry now. We wouldn’t want Mutou to get angry at both of us, would we?” the Nurse interrupts me with one of his childish smiles.

“Yeah, yeah. Almost there.” I reply casually.


Ahh, the Nurse. I see him every day too. He comes by at random times, at his own convenience. But he hasn’t forgotten about me, not even once.

I make it to the door as the Nurse turns around, ready to head into the hallway. He waits for me to be side-by-side with him and starts walking, with me obviously leading.


“I wonder how far you can get today, Seiki.” The Nurse says, scribbling on his notepad.

“I’m sure I can get at least a little farther today.” I say back.

I’m not sure at all, though. In the months since we started this experiment, I’ve only gotten halfway to the Nurse’s office before I get lost.

It’s unfair, really. The Nurse’s office is on a different wing of the main building, and getting there is tricky to say the least. But, like every day, the Nurse meets me in class at whatever time and run me through this maze of a school. And he’s always writing in that little notepad, too.

Take a left here, down these stairs…. Okay, the door at the end of this hallway takes me to…. Oh, another hallway. I feel a little like a lab-rat experiment, but it really is for my own good. It was the Nurse’s idea though.

“So, Seiki. Any problems this weekend? Seizures, headaches, or…?” The Nurse runs through the usual questions.

I think I’m supposed to take a left turn here.

“Nope, nothing like that. Just the usual, crappy memory.” I reply. Apparently this warrants some writing in his notepad, as I hear him scribbling again.


“You know, Seiki, it wouldn’t hurt to give a little more effort. The past is an important part of people, including you.” He says with respect but firm intention.


Well, I’m lost now. This is the part of the maze I can’t seem to get past. Something tricky about this part. After a large set of stairs, we get to this huge room that acts like a hub. There are three hallways to go down, just barely spaced apart, leading to wildly different places. The Nurse always gives me one chance to guess… and here is where I stall, every day.

I take a long time to examine each option. Each hall looks similar enough… a few windows being the difference… but they don’t reveal anything about where exactly they go. The room is empty except for me and Nurse; hardly any students come here since this is more of the faculty side of the school.


Well, it’s better to guess than stand around. The left hall looks promising enough.

“…Left?”

“Nope. Wrong again, Seiki.” The Nurse writes something, the pencil sharply following a line. He’s crossing something out.

I turn to the Nurse, ready for him to take the lead again. The disappointment in myself is already heavily set…

“Come on, don’t look so down. You’ll get it next time.” The Nurse says, flashing another smile. He signals me to follow.

The Nurse looks down each hallway, raising his pencil to his mouth, a quizzical look on his face. He’s playing it up too much.


Come on, I don’t really look like that, do I? Not clueless, not really lost, just… directionless.

The Nurse suddenly raises his pencil in the air, like he’s just now discovered the answer. It’s an act, yeah. But I should try and pay attention.

He looks in the left hallway first, but I know that one is wrong. He moves his gaze to the middle hall, but shakes his head.

It must be on the right.

The Nurse looks down the right hall, takes a single step forward, and I’m ready to follow, but… he stops.

He does a complete turn to the opposite direction, facing my way. He points behind me.

…What the?


And then I see it. Just under the large, wide stairs we came from is a fourth, and sadly obvious hallway. It’s not even slightly obscured, I just… didn’t turn around. The Nurse puts his hand on my shoulder, smiling for the hundredth time since I’ve seen him today.

“Look behind you some time, Seiki.”


Oh, wow. That’s really deep. It’d be even deeper if I remembered this hallway existed. This feels like the first time I’ve seen it…


We head down the correct hall, and a few more cryptic turns later, I see the sign for the Nurse’s office.

Well, time to get down to business. The little game we play is, effectively, just a way to get me to take my pills for epilepsy every day.

And they work really well. I haven’t had a seizure at all since I’ve come to Yamaku, mostly because the Nurse has me on schedule with my medication.


I read the clock above the door of his office. Class started 15 minutes ago. Maybe our teacher finally showed up.

“Here you go, Seiki.”

The Nurse hands me a small bottle of pills, and I read the dosage. Two pills every day. Simple enough.

I down the pills, and the Nurse gets ready to take me back to class.

He sits back down and stares back at me, innovation in his eyes.

“Wait a sec. I have a better idea today, since we’re earlier than usual.”

The Nurse crosses his arms and waits, watching the door. Like he’s waiting for something to break the peace.

“What are you..” I start to speak, but he thrusts a hand into the air in objection.

“Just wait. You’ll know what I mean when you see it. She’s coming, I can feel it.”

Now I’m really worried. What the hell is the Nurse talking about and why am I invol-


*CRASH*


A blonde bullet breaks the door open, crashing through the doorway and knocking over some loose papers and a stool.

The wild animal places her hands on her… legs? Those aren’t…


“Heeey Nurse!” the girl practically screams, sweat beading off her gym clothes. It’s eight in the morning though…

“Yeah, yeah, good morning. Can’t you see we have a guest?” The Nurse replies. He ruffles his coat in my general direction to point me out.

“Oh, woops!”

She finally notices me and looks up at me. She’s… short, to say the least. She’s fit, though. Her slender figure and skinny neck hold up her small head, ending in twin tails of messy, dark blonde hair. She’s wearing a PE uniform, a white tee-shirt with red lining, pairing up with some red shorts.

“Nice to meet you. Emi Ibarazaki, fastest thing on no legs. Also the best person in the world. And you aaare…?”


Wow, I’m meeting a lot of people today.

“Seiki, umm… worst memory… on two legs.”

Oof. Maybe I should have cut off that last phrase. Maybe I shouldn’t have though “cut off.”

... Her legs end at the knees, and her calves and feet are replaced by two, curved objects that project outward.

She’s bouncing on running blade prosthetics.
I’ve seen some developed by aeronautics companies, they’re really high quality stubs- STUFF. I meant stuff.

“Haha! Well at least you’re honest about it. I like that. My memory isn’t the best, either…” she says a little jokingly.

Heh. She’s on the short side, makes adorable little jokes, and has the energy of a nuclear bomb… a powerful combination.

I smile at the thought. I tilt my head downward and say, “Uhh… yours is probably better.”

I tap the pill bottle on the side for emphasis. I’m still smiling downward at her, and she does the same upwards.


She taps the running blades under her.

“Well, let nothing stop you, am I right?” she says cheerfully.

She makes a good point… but I’m not really sure brain exercises can help me. I like her attitude, though. Even if she’s much louder about it.

“Not even the door to the Nurse’s room.” I say, recalling her cannonball entrance a few moments ago.

She’s grinning, but it’s turned into a mischievous one.

“Oh, you saw that? Wasn’t even my fastest. Wanna see?”

The Nurse puts an end to her scheme, however.

“No running in the school, Emi. Save that for the track.” He says with a sternness I haven’t seen before.

Emi sparks up again like a little ball of lightning.

“Aww, come on! Seiki has to see me wreck your office!” she pipes up.


Oh god. She’s pouting. Just the perfect flex of the eyebrow, quivering of the lips, and puppy dog eyes. Now THAT is a face that could cause the end of the world.

The Nurse isn’t having any of it, though. He’s probably seen it plenty of times, given how familiar he seems to be with dealing with her.

“That doesn’t work anymore, Emi. Your eyes were a little off, too. Not enough fake tears. Haha!”

The Nurse laughs, content with his comedy.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll work on it then, jerk. Come on, I’ll be late for class!” Emi says, her eyes closed in frustration.

Such. Powerful. Cuteness.

“Actually, you’re already late for class. I’ll write you a note for your teacher, but on one condition…”

“It’s already class time? Guess I overdid it with the running today… Oh, what condition?”

“Well, Emi, it involves our guest here…”

I feel a little left out of this conversation, but then again all of this communication isn’t really normal for me. I’m really used to being a quiet observer… today’s just been a crazy morning.


I like Lilly and Emi a lot, and I get along with them, but…




I just can’t be friends with them.

[AntonSlavik020]

Another good chapter. Also, I thought Emi was the fastest thing on no legs, not two legs. This chapter also proves how a single line can entirely change the mood. It was pretty positive when Seiki was mentioning how cute Emi was, and then the last line happened.

[bubeez]

Fixed! Sorry about that!

Thanks for keeping with my story so far. I have a feeling this is gonna turn into a long-term project.