A Painful Past (OC). Scene 2 is up.

[LorSquirrel]

this one takes place one year before the main story during summer break, enjoy!



The Everyday Adventures of Yukiko and Koneko #2


“I don’t trust you…” I say as I lie on the floor staring into the eyes of Mikoto.


“Meow!” he says in response as he starts rolling around on the floor.


“You don’t fool me with you’re attempts at being cute!" I shout at him as I stand up and grab him by his torso pulling his face up too my eye level. "Now tell me where you hid my ball of yarn!”


“Meow!” he responds while sleepily staring at me.


I continue too glare at Mikoto as he slowly falls asleep in my hands.


“Great there goes any entertainment for the next couple of hours,” I say to myself while still holding Mikoto at eye level.


“I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what are you doing with my cat, Koneko?” I hear a sleepy voice drone from behind me.


I turn my head to see who made this comment, not that I need to, I mean there are only two people here at our vacation house right now and that is me and Yukiko.


Dad decided to stay in the city with grandpa Shinjiro and grandma Matsuko to meet with some heir to another company who seems interested in dad, and Mikazuki left about an hour ago, to pick up Naomi and her friends, who are going to be staying here for the weekend before they go to one of her friend’s summer homes.


It turns out that while I was monologue-ing to myself I have just been staring at Yukiko who starts snapping her fingers in-front of my face which snaps my out of my train of thought.


“Did you’re brain die or something?” she says as she takes Mikoto from my hands and places him on the chair next to me.


“No I was just monologue-ing to the re- I mean thinking to myself,” I reply to her as I get up off the floor.


“You were monologue-ing to whom?” she says as she rubs the sleep from her eyes.”


“Monologue-ing? Whose monologue-ing? Not me that’s for sure!” I reply in a panicked tone.


I know it’s weird that I monologue to people in my head that aren’t actually there, but it’s a coping mechanism.


Yukiko opens her mouth to responds but stops before she says anything, sighs and then takes her glasses out of her pocket puts them on and walks to the kitchen, Probably to get a glass of water, which is the only thing she ever seems to drink.


“Um… which cupboard has the glasses in it?” I here Yukiko yell from the kitchen.


“The first one on the left side of the sink!” I yell back to her as I decide to grab the remote lying on the couch and see what’s on TV.


“Okay thanks!” I hear her respond from the kitchen as I hear the sink turn on.


Okay let’s see what’s on right now.








---------------------------------------

And the answer is.


Nothing, Yay….

Great so that’s another source of entertainment out the window.


I wonder how long it will take for Mikazuki to get back with Naomi and her friends.


As if in answer to my thought I see Mikazuki’s car pull into the driveway and decide to go out and see if I can help with they’re luggage.


I walk over to the front door and slip on my sandals “I’m going to go see if they need any help with they’re luggage!” I yell towards the kitchen hoping that Yukiko will hear me.


The only thing I get in response is a small “okay” that is muffled by the walls.


I open the door, step outside and take in the fresh, salty, Oceanside air


Ah… I love the ocean, I don’t know what it is, but I just love it.


Before I lose myself in thought again I start walking towards Mikazuki’s car.


As I walk towards the car the passenger side door open and I see Naomi step out of the car and look straight at me and waves at me, “Hey dork! What’s up?” she says as I continue walking to the car.


“Same as usual: messing with Mikoto, monologue-ing to people who aren’t actually there and making sure that Yukiko takes her medicine,” I reply to her as I walk up to her and give her a hug.


“Monologue-ing to who?” she ask me with a confused look on her face.



“Umm… forget about that one! So you brought some friends right? Where are they?” I say as I look at the backseat of the car and see that the backseat door on the other side car is wide open.


“Right behind you,” she says with a grin on her face.


As I turn around to see them I see two girls; one with short dark blue hair blue eyes and blue glasses that look a lot like Yukiko’s, and the other with… the most awesome haircut I have ever seen! It’s pink and styled into drills!


“You’re hairdo is awesome!” I say as I point at the drill haired girl.


“Thanks! By the way my name is Misha and this is Shicchan!” she says as she points to the blue haired girl who offers me a small wave in greetings which I return.


I’m about to comment more on Misha’s hairdo I hear the car trunk pop open and see Mikazuki come out of the driver side door, “You can talk more once we get everything inside. Now get to it!” Mikazuki says in her best impression of a gruff military sergeant, which isn’t very good.


“That was pathetic.” I say in a disappointed tone as I rub my temple.



“Okay then, you get to carry Naomi’s suit case!” she says in a sing songy voice as she pulls a massive suit case from the trunk.


That thing must be two times taller than I am!


“Better get to it!” Mikazuki says her voice changing from sing songy to smug.


Well great.

end.




Okay, I know I should probably be working on the re-write but i couldn't stop myself from writing this one. as always i accept all criticism 's



by the way there will be an edit on the scene one re-write and scene 2 is almost done being re-written.





also i edited the first everyday adventures to change some of Yukiko's thoughts and dialog.

[forgetmenot]

I hate to be so blunt... but this really isn't a story.

It's mostly just a collection of loosely related thoughts occurring over the course of what, 20 minutes? Nothing really happens. So what Shizune and Misha arrive at a vacation house? Is that supposed to shock, surprise, or seduce in some manner? What's the point?

The dialog and inner monologues feel contrived. For example, why is Yukiko's water addiction mentioned? Is it important? I sure as hell can't make heads or tails of why it's there. There are several more instances of this, but I feel I've made my point.

You also have quite a few they're/there/their and you're/your issues, but you seem to be self-consistent, so it's... something.

There's a lot of room for improvement. That's pretty much it.

Sorry again if that's too harsh.

[LorSquirrel]

I hate to be so blunt... but this really isn't a story.

It's mostly just a collection of loosely related thoughts occurring over the course of what, 20 minutes? Nothing really happens. So what Shizune and Misha arrive at a vacation house? Is that supposed to shock, surprise, or seduce in some manner? What's the point?

The dialog and inner monologues feel contrived. For example, why is Yukiko's water addiction mentioned? Is it important? I sure as hell can't make heads or tails of why it's there. There are several more instances of this, but I feel I've made my point.

You also have quite a few they're/there/their and you're/your issues, but you seem to be self-consistent, so it's... something.

There's a lot of room for improvement. That's pretty much it.

Sorry again if that's too harsh.

okay i'm going to break my own rule i set for myself at the beginning of the re-write and address these one at a time.

It's mostly just a collection of loosely related thoughts occurring over the course of what, 20 minutes? Nothing really happens. So what Shizune and Misha arrive at a vacation house? Is that supposed to shock, surprise, or seduce in some manner? What's the point?

the whole thing with the Yukiko and Koneko stuff is it's just meant to be small little snippets of there life, as well as back story for the main story with Nagataka and Naomi. but i do agree that they aren't exactly long, very tight, or important, and i'll try to fix that in the and onward. also this is mean't to go into the third TEAoYaK (yes that looks stupid, i know) that's the only reason i even mentioned Misha and Shizune.

...and of course to have Koneko give her opinion on the drills, but again, i see how it would seem strange to just have them show up at the end, so i do apologize for that.

The dialog and inner monologues feel contrived. For example, why is Yukiko's water addiction mentioned? Is it important? I sure as hell can't make heads or tails of why it's there. There are several more instances of this, but I feel I've made my point.

*throws hands up* okay you got me, i always tend to think that about somethings i write but i always feel like it's mostly because i never know how to properly describe or phrase things, or i just plain forget to mention one thing which makes something else seem really weird or contrived. but yeah that is somthing i have been aware of for a while and i am trying to do better with dialog and such, thank you for pointing that out.

You also have quite a few they're/there/their and you're/your issues, but you seem to be self-consistent, so it's... something.

yeah this is one i have heard before but it's always nice to have it pointed out again. yes i know i'm terrible at the whole they're/there/their you're/your thing, but i am aware of it and thank you for alerting me to the fact that i messed up again.

There's a lot of room for improvement. That's pretty much it.

Sorry again if that's too harsh.

no, you aren't being to harsh, you are giving you're opinion on my story just as i had requested, i thank you for all of your feedback and i will take into consideration every word of it. thank you for taking the time out of your day to read even one of my stories and giving your criticism's, please have a good day.

[LorSquirrel]

Dear lord in heaven, this took forever to write, but at least it's finally done.

Anyway, as usual leave a comment.


And yes, I am aware of the irony present in the text messages between Kyoko and Nagataka.


Also, jello... that is all.



Scene 1: The Cafeteria Scene part 1


I think I’m sleeping. Not dreaming, just… sleeping…


All I can make out from the world around me is some distant voices, they’re almost inaudible really, Just a bunch of mumbling off in the distance that I can’t be bothered to focus on.


I wonder what they’re saying…


Actually were the hell am I?


I think I was in-


My thoughts are brought to a screeching halt when I hear a loud crashing noise from right in front of me, which causes me to wake up and start looking for the cause of the noise.


It doesn’t take long to figure out what it was that made the noise when I see an empty metal tray on the table where my head was resting and the golden brown eyes of Haruko glaring down at me from the other side of the table.


Right, I’m in my new schools cafeteria.


She looks kind of evil when she glares like that, okay Nagataka just play it cool or smooth or whatever, “Hey Haruko wonderful um…” I stop to think of something that would stop her from glaring at me, “weather we’re having?” I finish in a nervous tone as I notice that it’s pouring rain outside.


[It’s your first day here at Yamaku and you’ve already fallen asleep in the middle of the day!? You must be really lazy!] She signs in her usual playful manner after she puts down a tray that I didn’t even notice she was carrying. [By the way, I got you some lunch.]


“Thanks,” I reply half heartedly when I see that the lunch that she got for me, it’s some kind of grayish green glob lying at the bottom of a Styrofoam bowl. “And by the way,” I continue as I poke at the glob with a plastic spoon, “I wasn’t able to fall asleep until around two o’clock this morning, so I think I can be forgiven for falling asleep during lunch time,” I finish as I switch my gaze from the glob back to Haruko.


Haruko just rolls her eyes and begins to sign some mock lecture about diligence even when the body is tired when her phone starts ringing.


She pulls her phone out of her pocket and flips it open. I see her raise an eye brow and she begins to text a reply as I look back down at the glob that is still resting at the bottom of the bowl.


After a few seconds of prodding it with my spoon I accidentally puncture the side of it and a strange, greenish blue liquid starts to trickle out from the place where I punctured it.


“Well, I guess I’m not having lunch today,” I grumble to myself as I push the tray with the bowl on it to my left.


After awhile I see Haruko’s face contort into a frown, she closes her phone and turns to face me. [Sorry but I have to go, there doesn’t seem to be enough supplies for the stall my class wants to do for the festival and I have to go place a order in town before lunch is over.] She signs after putting her back into her pocket.


What is she doing? “You’re a class representative, why are you apologizing for having to do your job?” I reply in an aggravated tone as I glare at her, I hate it when people apologize for doing something when they’re under an obligation.


[Because I said that I would spend the lunch hour with you.] She signs to me with a frown.


“I’ll just wait for Kyoko to get down here; now get going Miss Representative, shoo!” I say that last part in a slightly playful manner.


Haruko just rolls her eyes at me and signs [Yes sir, Mister, winters sir.] followed by a mock salute and then she heads out of the cafeteria.


Just as I see Haruko disappear from sight I feel a vibration in my pocket and retrieve my phone from said pocket.


After opening my phone I see that I have a text message from Kyoko. *Sorry but im not going to be able to have lunch with you and Haruko i getting nagged by the SC to file some paper work for the festival talk with ya later* The text reads.


“She is terrible with punctuation.” I mumble to myself as I type back a reply. *Its okay. By the way, learn to use punctuation!* I hit send and then about ten second later I get a reply, *make me! : P* it reads.


“Real mature Kyoko.” I say to myself after I close my phone and decide to start staring at the ceiling.


And now I have nothing to do at all, great.


I turn my gaze back to the tray with the bowl that the glob is in.


My stomach growls,


“What, do you have a death wish or something!?” I reply looking down at my stomach which replies to me with another growl.


Maybe it isn’t as bad as it looks…?


I pull out my phone and see that there is still over forty minutes until lunch hour is over. I put my phone back into my pocket and stare at the glob again.


What’s that old saying again? “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”?


After staring at the glob for a minute, and hearing the constant growling from my stomach, I decide to take my chances and pull the tray in front of me.


I once again puncture the strange glob, scoop up a spoon-full and bring it to up to my eye level.


Once I have it at eye level I notice a funky smell coming off of it, “Oh god. I’m going to die from this aren’t I?” I say to myself as some of the greenish blue liquid starts to drip from the spoon.


“Here goes nothing!” is the last thought I have before putting the glob in my mouth.


And it tastes like… plain oatmeal… well that was anti-climatic, Wait! Yep the after taste is somewhere between a year old orange and dog crap. I want to spit it out, but by the time I notice the after taste the part of the glob I put in my mouth is already sliding down the inside of my throat.


“Oh, that was wretched!” Oh crap I just yelled that out loud didn’t I?


Several students glance over at me, but they soon lose interest and they all go back to their meals. Well all except one guy, who just got out of the food line and is now walking over to the table that I’m sitting at.


He’s wearing the male students uniform, has auburn red hair green eyes and he is, for some reason, wearing a rainbow patterned tricorn hat with a flower in hanging down on the left side and a little nameplate that reads “Hello, I am princess Akio!”


Well one of three things are going on right now, number one: he’s high. Number two I’m hallucinating. Number three: I died from eating part of the glob and these are just my final thoughts before my consciousness drifts off into nothing.


“I see you were brave enough to try the jello, very risky,” he says as he takes a seat across the table from me in a surprisingly controlled sounding voice for his choice of apparel.


Wait, did he just say that the grayish green glob was jello?


“That, is supposed to be jello!?” I ask pointing at the glob which is now lying in a small pool of the greenish blue liquid.


“That’s what the cafeteria staff tells me. They’ve been serving that stuff for as long as I’ve been attending here,” He replies, putting his lunch tray –which has two apples and a sandwich on it- on his side of the table.


“Uh… just clarify, you’ve been attending here for how long?” I ask as he retracts his cane and put it on his lap.


“Three years,” he replies while picking up one of the apple off his tray and holding it out towards me, “Here, have this.”


“Uh, thanks, umm… princess Akio?” I reply.


“Please, it’s just Akio. I’m only wearing the hat and the princess nameplate because I lost a bet with a friend of mine,” He replies in a slightly annoyed voice.


“What was the bet about?” I ask before I take a bite out of the apple.


He sighs, “I bet her that I could get a better grade than she could on a quiz last week. Needless to say, she proved me wrong.” He replies before taking a bite of his sandwich.


“By the way,” He begins after swallowing, “I don’t believe you’ve told me your name yet.”


“It’s Nagataka, Nagataka Winters.” I reply after taking another bite from my apple.


“Well, Nagataka Winters,” Akio begins, “You don’t look like you’re from Japan, am I right?” He finishes while raising an eyebrow quizzically.


“Uh, yeah, what gave it away?” I ask putting down the half finished apple on the table.


“I don’t see many, umm… Indians around here,” He replies.


“I’m native American, not Indian!” I reply maybe a little too forcefully.


“Oh, sorry, I’m sad to say that I can’t really tell the differences betwe-” He begins to say but is cut off by the arrival of another male student with black hair and hazel colored eyes, who is barreling across the cafeteria at what I suspect to be around mach five, all the while yelling at the top of his lunges, “Akio, Akio, Akio!”


He comes to a screeching halt next to the table that Akio and I are sitting at and then he starts panting like he just ran a marathon, “What are you running around the cafeteria yelling my name for Lelouch? Asks Akio who is just staring at the black haired guy with what looks like an equal amount of amusement and aggravation.


After panting for another five second or two the black haired guy responds, “Its Ikuno, man, she had another idea and said she was going to drag us into it! We need to leave town!” he says in an overly frantic tones.


“Don’t you think that leaving town is a little over zealous?” Akio replies to him.


“Dude, do you not remember what happened last time she had an idea and dragged me into it!?” the black haired guys responds in the same frantic tone while looking back at the doors he just charged straight through.


“You fell of the roof of a car going fifty miles down the highway, what about it?” Akio replies to him in a voice, which is slowly becoming more and more amused.


The black haired guy looks like he’s about to go off again, but before he has the chance another student –this time a girl with light brown back length hair and bright blue eyes- comes running through the same hair as the black haired guy came through, “Akio, Lelouch, there you guys are!” she yells over to our table in a cheery sounding voice as she begins to skip over to us.


“Shit!” Says the black haired guy as he sees the girl approach the table, “Hey guys,” she says in the same cheery voice as before, “Who’s this guy?” she asks turning to look at me.


Her comment also causes the black haired guy to notice me, “Woah, Where did he come from!?” he says in a voice that is both shocked and confused.


“America.” I reply sarcastically.


Akio chooses this to intervene “His name is Nagataka Winters,” Explains before taking a bite from his sandwich that I think he forgot he had.


“Cool, I’m Ikuno Komaki, nice to meet you, Nagataka.” The girl says as she gives a small bow.


“I’m Lelouch Lamperouge, oh hey look at the time I have to get going, by!” says the black haired guy as he attempts to runs to the doors, but he’s stopped in less than a second by Ikuno who grabs Lelouch’s tie and pulls him back to the table as a deviant smile forms on her face.


“Oh no you don’t, I need you and Akio for something!” Ikuno says as she pins Lelouch’s tie to the table.


Akio looks at Lelouch for a second and sighs, “Just as long as it doesn’t involve Lelouch getting knocked off of a car go fifty mile an hour again.” Akio say before taking the last bite of his sandwich.


“Nah, it’s nothing like that,” Ikuno begins, “I’m starting a club and I want you and Lelouch to be founding members.” She finishes as she pulls a chair from another table over to ours so she can sit down.


Lelouch finally manages to get his tie free from Ikuno’s grip and moves over to Akio and puts his hand on his shoulder, “Sorry to burst you’re bubble, Ikuno, but Akio and I are already in the literature club.” He says in a smugly superior tone.


“Didn’t you guys say that you weren’t having any fun there anymore? Something about no one actually talking about the books anymore?” She asks as she tilts her head.


Her comment draws a frown from both Akio and Lelouch who then look at each other for a second and turn back to Ikuno again. “Heh, good point,” Lelouch begins, “But don’t you need five people to start a club here?” he asks as he takes a seat next to Akio.


“I already got a first year to agree to join.” Ikuno replies as she sits back up in her chair.


“That’s still only four members by my accounts,” Replies Akio.


A frown forms on Ikuno’s face, “Crap, I already asked everyone else that I can think of but we still need another member… hmm….” She says to herself as she looks around the cafeteria.


For awhile Lelouch, Akio and I just watch Ikuno as she inspects every student in the cafeteria from afar.


After awhile her gaze settles on me and she just ends up staring at me for a few second before finally asking, “Hey Nagataka, are you in any clubs?”


“Uh, no, I just got here yesterday.” I reply as she leans in closer to me.


“Have you looked at any of the clubs yet?” she asks squinting her eyes.


“Yeah, I looked at the registry before my first class today but there wasn’t any clubs that interested m-” I’m about to finish my sentence but Ikuno cuts me off. “Great do you want to join our club?” she asks excitedly as she leans in farther.


Well it’s not like I’m going to have much to do for the next two weeks, with Kyoko and Haruko scrambling to finish things up for that festival on the tenth, so what the hell. “Sure I’ll join, but if I don’t like it I’m leaving.”


“Awesome let’s go register our club before class begins!” before any of us can say anything Ikuno has already bolted halfway across the cafeteria.


“Woah, wait up Ikuno, Akio can’t move as fast as you!” Lelouch yells to her, but she is already out of the cafeteria.


Seeing that she is already quite a bit ahead of us, Lelouch, Akio and I all grab our things and race after her, well I stay behind to keep Akio Company as he moves as fast as his legs and cane will take him.


Talk about an exciting first day.

[Mirage_GSM]

Some stuff:

- For an aphasic, Lelouch sure talks a lot...

- Really? Not even asking what kind of club it is?

- I don't think they're in the literacy club - if they are in high school, we can safely assume they are already literate.

[LorSquirrel]

Some stuff:

- For an aphasic, Lelouch sure talks a lot...

- Really? Not even asking what kind of club it is?

- I don't think they're in the literacy club - if they are in high school, we can safely assume they are already literate.

- There are different types of aphasia, and the VN never specified which one Lelouch had, so I've decided that for this story, he will have what's call "Pure alexia" I'll explain it before the chapter is done.


-Believe it or not, this is going to be a character trait of Nagataka where he doesn't always thnk through things, or ask questions he really should be asking.


-Goddammit Mirage, I never get any of your jokes!

[Silentcook]

Literacy determines whether or not you are able to read and write. If you are illiterate, you can't. If you're literate, you can.

You probably meant literature, which deals with written works.

[LorSquirrel]

Literacy determines whether or not you are able to read and write. If you are illiterate, you can't. If you're literate, you can.

You probably meant literature, which deals with written works.

Thanks for the clarifcation, Cook.

[Retrograde01]

Literacy determines whether or not you are able to read and write. If you are illiterate, you can't. If you're literate, you can.

You probably meant literature, which deals with written works.

Thanks for the clarifcation, Cook.

>replying nearly two months later

Dude, wut.

[LorSquirrel]

I replied when he first commented, I have no idea why this is back up at the top of the board.

[Silentcook]

It got back up to the top of the board because you bumped the topic, according to logs.

[LorSquirrel]

Okay then?

[LorSquirrel]

By the way I'm kinda down with a cold and half asleep while writing this so it might not be that good, but feel free to be as harsh as you want in your replies.

-----------

“So where did they go again?” I ask Akio as we walk through the hallway.


“The third floor library. The stairs are around the corner,” he replies hobbling along with his cane.


“Okay then,” I reply looking back down the hallway.


After a few seconds we come to the stairs Akio had mentioned.


“Hey, Nagataka,” Akio says walking up to the first step, and holding his cane out to me, “mind holding my cane while we walk up?”


“Uh… sure,” I reply taking the cane.


“Thanks…” I hear Akio mumble under his breath as he starts slowly walking up the stairs.


I match his slow pace so that I can talk with him, but he looks completely focused on the stairs. I guess the reason that he’s here is something that makes falling really dangerous for him.


Seeing that he is completely focused on keeping his footing I decide to look over his cane. It has a curved handle that feels like a really hard rubber, or something like that. The rest of the cane from the end of the handle is completely wooden (looks like oak),It looks very old, and has several words, and phrases carved into it. Strangely most of them aren’t in Japanese, but what I think is… Korean, Maybe Chinese?


As I continue looking down the cane I notice one word that I can actually read, “Stepy,” it’s written out in English.


“Do you read Korean, or do you just really like looking at canes?” Akio says breaking me out of my train of thought.


“Huh?” I reply confusedly looking up from the cane to see Akio leaning against a wall.


“You’ve been standing there looking at my cane for about two minutes, so I was asking if you knew Korean since that’s the only language written on it,” He replies.


“Oh, no, I don’t know any Korean, I was just looking at it,” I say walking over to Akio, and hand the cane back to him, “Also, it’s not all Korean, there’s a word written in English near the bottom.”


“So you know English then?” he replies leveraging himself off of the wall, and walking into the hallway.


“Yeah, it was the main language used where I used to live,” I reply, following besides him.


“Interesting, where’d you use to live again?” he asks.


“America,” I state as I turn my gaze to the windows to our left.


As I gaze out the window I can see the schools gardens, it's nothing special, just a bunch of flowers, trees, bushes, normal, but I find myself staring at one thing, a bench with two cherry blossom tree's along with several different colored flowers in the ground behind it.


________________________________________________________


The sun beats down on me as I sit on the park bench, beads of sweat run down my face, my legs feel like they're going to fall off, my heart is beating so hard that I can here it like it's in my ears, and my lungs feel like they're on fire, but out of all of that the one thing that actually worries me is my heart beat.


THUM-THU-THUMP-THU-THUMP-THU-THUMP-THUMP. "Oh shut up you jerk, I'm not dying on a park bench!"


THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THU-THUMP-THU-THUMP-THUMP.


Damn it, Kyo, Alice, and Miazuki are going to freak out if I come home like this. I can see they're reactions now, Kyo's asking me who was chasing me, Mikazuki's insisting on taking me to a hospital, and Alice is huddled up in the corner freaking out over the thought that I could have another heart attack.


THUMP...thu-thump...thu-thump…


"Oh, now you want to beat like a normal heart!" I yell looking down at my chest.


THUMP!


"Oh, shut up!" I yell again at my chest as I hear giggling coming from behind me.


I jump up off of the bench, turn around to see who’s giggling at me. It turns out to be a girl who was standing right behind the bench this entire time. She has black hair that seems to go a little past her shoulders, golden brown eyes, and she’s wearing my school’s uniform, well the girl version anyway. She let’s out another small giggle, “Did I scare you Nagataka?” she asks with a small grin leaning slightly against the bench.


“Do I know you?” I ask taking a few steps back away from the bench.


“I don’t think you know me, but I know who you are, Nagataka, right?” She responds.


“Uh… yeah I’m Nagataka, but how do you know who I am?” I ask.


“You introduced yourself to the entire class on Monday; also, I sit right behind you in class,” She responds before vaulting over the bench, and sitting down on it. “By the way, I’m Mae Terramoto, nice to finally get to talk with you.”


“Uh… okay then, nice to meet you Mae, I’d introduce myself but you already know my name,” I reply taking another step back.


She seems to notice this, and let’s out another giggle, while patting the seat next to her “Oh, come on Nagataka, I don’t bite, come and sit, I just want to talk with the new kid.”


“Uh… okay?” I reply walking back over to the bench.


________________________________________

I’m jolted out of my memory by when a hand waves right in-front of my face.



“Hey Nagataka, earth to Nagataka!” says a girlish voice.


“Huh?” I say looking over to the left where the hand came from, and I see Ikuno standing there with a confused look on her face.


“What’re you doing?” She asks drawing her hand back to her side.


“Uh, I was just looking at the school garden,” I reply looking back at the bench with the two cherry blossom tree’s behind it.


“Oh, I love doing my homework there!” Ikuno says in a giddy tone.


“Heh, I used to know someone like that,” I reply shifting my gaze from the garden back to the hallway, and I notice that Akio isn’t there anymore. “Hey, where’d Akio go?”


Ikuno looks over to me, “He went to the library thinking that you were behind him, but when we saw that you weren’t I decided to look for you,” she replies.


“Oh, well then I guess we should go meet up with them,” I reply.


“Yeah, I want to start this detectives club already,” She says grabbing me by my arm, and dragging me through the hallway.


Wait, did she say detectives club?

[TheCatBeyondSpace!]

Well it's not terrible, but it could stand to be more descriptive when it come to the environment, maybe make it a little longer, it's been two month's and all we get is roughly 1000 words that's a little disappointing. Also maybe a better transition to the flashback? It just seem to come out of nowhere, but other than those complaints it's a decent chapter to a decent fic.

[TheCatBeyondSpace!]

Kind of weird that no one else comments on this stuff.