Two Hallways - Hanako's Perspective (Updated 1/7)

[nemz]

Honestly, it comes off as Hanako having a puppy love crush on Hisao and being devastated out of proportion. And it says that Hanako told Lilly she liked Hisao. When did this take place? During the two or three weeks all three of them were together before Lilly left for Scotland the first time? Lilly and Hisao started dating a little too soon for believability, so Hanako being head over heels about him without any meaningful contact between them seems silly.

I'll grant you all that actually, but even if it's just a crush she's still completely justified in being pissed at Lilly if the "I like that guy" confession happened at any point off camera.

And knowing what we do about the route, it again seems very strange for Lilly to take Hisao knowing full well that she will be leaving. That's a drastic departure for her attitude, one that can't really but be glaringly wrong.

She doesn't know full well that she'll be leaving. She's still in that waffling stage, though she very much is aware that leaving is a strong possibility.

We're just going to ignore everything stated by the game now?

I'm not doubting the entire game, I'm doubting the words of someone we know lies to Hisao (and thus us) about her relationships and future plans. Lilly absolutely is the sort of person to whitewash all her dirty or embarrassing secrets to maintain her outward appearance of calm and control.

[Suox]

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[Herma123]

How dare you make a story so utterly cruel, yet immaculately written?!

Thanks, but I'm still learning. My writing has a lot of room for improvement.

[Oddball]

I have no problems with Lilly being shown to be a bit insensitive or even cruel, or that Hanako was hiding her real anger. What bugs me here is that Hanako seems to come across like a little kid. She just seems so incredibly juvenile in this stor compared to how she comes across in the game.

[XanatosPlannedThis86]

You know what... I welcome this take on Lily's character. Lily is my favorite, but I'm interested in seeing how you can work an her playing antagonistic role of the story. She's normally so thoughtful in canon but in this one you have her acting well outright selfish. A twisted part of me can sense a kind of three way ending though Don't know why. Also Lily has to have sensed Hanako eavesdropping on their love making. Then again Maybe Hanako was really quiet...

[Oddball]

Also Lily has to have sensed Hanako eavesdropping on their love making. Then again Maybe Hanako was really quiet...

Maybe Lilly had other things on her mind at the time.

[Markus Ramikin]

I like this a good deal.

Though I have to agree with Kayo that it doesn't fit canon well if you pay attention to details. But with only a bit of squinting I'm able to enjoy it as an alternative look.

I certainly hope this hasn't been abandoned.

[carrion_crow]

How dare you make a story so utterly cruel, yet immaculately written?!

I understand bro......I understand...but I couldn't stoop reading lol.
I like this take on the story as well and I can see hanako thinking this juvenile. Im not saying shes a child, But she is a lot more dependent (as a child would be) than any other character In the game.

[Herma123]

Wow, it's really been awhile since I got on the Renai. Is anyone still interested in me finishing this?

[forgetmenot]

Wow, it's really been awhile since I got on the Renai. Is anyone still interested in me finishing this?

That's technically a request, which isn't allowed on the fan works boards here. If you want to finish it, do so because you want to.

[TheGoatman]

Wow, it's really been awhile since I got on the Renai. Is anyone still interested in me finishing this?

Hello. This story has been my homepage for a while now. *stare of a thousand goats*

[ProfAllister]

Wow, it's really been awhile since I got on the Renai. Is anyone still interested in me finishing this?

If you are still interested in you finishing this, then finish it. That's all that matters. You will never know how many fans you do or don't have, and the vocal ones are not necessarily the most important ones.

Don't do it for the fans. Don't do it for "her." Do it for you, or not at all.

[Markus Ramikin]

*grin* Or, you know, do it (or not) for whatever reasons happen to appeal to you specifically. Even if it's fan response.

[d2r]

For what it's worth, I think this is a very interesting take on the Lily route. OK, sure, it's a tad out of character (Hanako as voyeur?), but it's out of character in an interesting and believable way. I second ProfAllister: continue if you feel like it would be rewarding. I personally hope you do, though.