Two Hallways - Hanako's Perspective (Updated 1/7)

[Herma123]

Hi, KS forums. I hail from KSG, and I was told by a couple of people that I should post my works so far for you lot.

So, uh. Here. I've got the first two bits done, and the third one is on it's way. It will likely be a three-parter, maybe a four parter.

**DISCLAIMER** SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD

I tried my best to make all of physical actions taken by the characters in addition belong to their speech as accurate as possible, excluding what Hisao does not see.

I'm not sure if anyone's done this setting before, but it seems like someone should have by this point. Anyway, here we go.

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 (Unreleased)
Epilogue (Unreleased)

Two Hallways (Part One)
~*~

Light begins to seep through the window of my room. No, this isn't my room. It's a room at Lilly's summer house.

I hate waking up in unfamiliar rooms.

Yesterday was not a good day. Hisao hurt himself when we were walking, just because I wanted to go shopping.

He's okay now, but I wouldn't blame him if he was upset with me. I should try to spend time with him today.

I crawl out of bed and run a brush through my hair. I decide to leave my pink pajamas on, because Lilly will probably leave hers on too. Why is she so much prettier than I am?

Slowly, I make my way outside of my room. I walk down the hallway and see Hisao sitting on the futon. He takes short a glance at me and I get ready to smile at him, but he looks away and lifts his hand to his mouth and later runs it through his hair. Why won't he ever look at me for more than a second?

It's okay. I can take the initiative too.

"Good morning, Hisao."

That's so simple. I could've said something better.

Hisao turns to me again and begins to return the formality

"Ah, go-- ack!"

He starts to violently gag. What happened? Is he having another heart attack? Did I do something wrong?

"Ah, Hisao!"

He lets out a series of guttural sounds while dislodging whatever was in his throat, and taps his chest a few times.

"I'm fine. Sorry, forgot I was swallowing."

No, you didn't. It was my fault again. I'm so stupid, of course you were swallowing pills. Why didn't I get that? I need to apologize...

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

He holds his hand up, gesturing me to stop.

"I gagged. It's my fault. 'Morning, Hanako."

Great. Now I've gone and made him feel bad. I manage a halfhearted bow in response, hopefully that will work.

I look behind me and see Lilly stagger into the room. I watch to see how Hisao reacts, and as expected, his gaze is fixed on her body, making no effort to disguise his actions. He must think I don't care, since Lilly is blind and I'm the only one here who can see him do that. Why does he have to ogle her in front of me?

Before I can think any further, Hisao begins to speak.

"Hi, Lilly."

"Good morning... Hisao."

That's strange. She hesitated. Lilly rarely hesitates in her speech, especially in simple greetings.

I expect them to break the silence, but nothing happens. What's going on? Was there a fight? Are they upset at each other? Maybe... maybe I should ask Hisao about it later. Maybe I could even get the opportunity to hug him. Maybe I could...

No, stop thinking those thoughts, Hanako. That's not going to happen; and even if it could, I wouldn't want to do that to Lilly if that was the case. I know she wouldn't do that to me, especially since I told her how much I liked him.

"Um, I'll start making breakfast."

Hisao's sudden statement is met with a quick response from Lilly.

"I'll help. Hanako, could you set the table?"

I suppose that means they're not annoyed with each other.

Why didn't I think to ask to help first? Now Hisao can steal as many glances as he wants at her, and not me. I nod, and walk in the direction of the cupboard to place dishes and silverware in their respective areas.

It's quiet again, and Lilly and Hisao start making whatever meal they are making. I set the table as slowly as possible, plate by plate and fork by fork, in an effort to avoid awkwardly sitting down while they do all the work.

Just as I begin to suspect the rest of the day will be as excruciatingly silent as it is now, I notice Hisao turn to Lilly and begin to whisper. Why is he whispering? Lilly nods sagely, as if she's thinking heavily about something.

What the hell is going on?

They begin to whisper at each other some more. I can't tell what they are saying, but Lilly looks apologetic almost, and Hisao has that coddling look on his face that he always has when he looks at me. When he feels like he needs to "protect" me. I don't like that look, even if it's from him.

My train of thought is immediately derailed as Hisao grabs ahold of Lilly and pulls her into his warm embrace.

What were they whispering about that made him hug her? I wish he would hug me like that too. Why won't he hug me like that?

The seconds that Lilly rests in his arms feel like an eternity. Not because it's her, but because it isn't me. My heart feels like it's being torn apart like a steak thrown into a pen of ravenous lions.

Get a grip, Hanako, it's only a hug.

My piercing gaze towards the two of them is met with his when he notices me looking at them. I start to blush as It becomes apparent that I've been observing them the whole time, halfway through setting a plate down. I hope he doesn't think I'm acting strange.

I finish setting the table and we begin to eat. It's quiet again, but I suppose it's better than another hug.

I take frequent glances at Hisao throughout the course of the meal, and he looks troubled. I debate putting my hand on his shoulder and asking him what's wrong, but that would be silly. No, maybe it wouldn't be silly. Okay, it would be silly.

Suddenly, he speaks up.

"Lilly..."

What now?

Lilly nods, setting down her silverware parallel to her plate. Hisao looks at her and back to me, and Lilly raises her head. It looks like they're preparing to tell me something. Lilly's face is coiled in a smile, but I know better. It's one of her many fake smiles, and this one tells me she's about to tell me something I'm not going to like.

I'm already upset.

She begins to speak, and my world shatters.

"This might seem abrupt but... I've confessed to Hisao."

No.

No.

WHY?

If my heart felt torn apart before, then now it's been shattered into the finest shards of pain possible. She...

She confessed to him. How could she do that? Why did she not tell me that she liked him too? HOW COULD SHE BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?

Years of therapy have prepared me on how to act in these situations. I know how I need to respond, but I don't want to. I want to yell at her, I want to strike her across the face. I... I...

I manage a nod, and realize the whole time my spoon was still in my mouth.

This is my worst nightmare. My best friend, a beautiful girl, has taken the only boy who ever looked at me with something other than disgust or apathy, and my only other friend. And now I have no one.

Unless... He could have refused?

Before debating with myself the likelihood of that situation, I quickly blurt out the question to him.

"Did you accept?"

Funny. Lilly's mouth loses a fraction of it's smile, as if she expected me to ask her if he accepted, and not him. I probably would've asked her first, too, in any other situation involving the two of them. But not this. This time, it's a plea.

"I did."

I knew it. Why wouldn't he? She's the most beautiful girl in the world. I know what I have to do.

Smile. Just like I was taught to.

My face turns red with blood. Anger. Hisao probably interprets it as a blush, and I suppose that's part of the façade.

My smile stretches so wide that It's almost painful. I tell the biggest lie I've ever told in my life.

"Then I'm happy. I'm really, really happy."

Nothing could be further from the truth.

[Herma123]

Two Hallways (Part Two)
~*~

I attempt to further collect myself, and possibly drain the color from my cheeks. Lilly's face turns from excited to downcast, as she begins to open her mouth again.

"I'm sorry for not telling you anything about it before. Things have been..."

I shake my head, in more of an effort to settle my thoughts than to get her to stop talking, despite the fact that she wouldn't see it anyway.

She falls silent at the same time anyway, so it doesn't make a difference

I fiddle with my hands for a moment. My head hurts and I want to sit down. No, I want to lie down. But I can't. These two people... they're still my friends, right? I know they care about me. At least, they pretend to.

My incoherent rage, the voice that shrieks and roars from the depths of my mind, begins to subside. It's replaced by the creeping sadness that quickly translates through the muscles in my face, as my false smile begins to break.

I'd better say something to satisfy them. My anger won't change anything.

"To be honest, I began to think you might like each other a while ago."

That's a half truth. Fear is a better word. Absolute terror. A terror confirmed not moments ago.

"At first, I didn't really know what to think about it... but I..."

No. No buts. And no uncertainties. Say it.

You know you have to.

"I decided in the end that... if my friends are happy, then I'm happy."

I feel ill.

"I was really glad to have another friend when we met Hisao, so you finding love through him is even better... right?"

Wrong.

Regardless of the pure deception flowing through my words, they hit home and Hisao appears to be somewhat relieved. Good.

Lilly prepares another somber smile as she speaks.

"Thank you, Hanako. I really appreciate you being so understanding."

Understanding. Not supportive, not accepting, not happy. Understanding.

You're right. I do understand. I understand.

I understand.

She's my... best friend. I wouldn't have even met Hisao if it wasn't for you. You have your needs, and I have mine.

And right now, that need is to speak with her.

I can do it.

"Hisao, do you mind if me and Lilly go outside for a bit?"

He looks at me with slight expectancy.

"Ah, no, feel free..."

Lilly's face loses composure and she takes on a look of pure confusion.

"Hanako?"

I get up- No, I stagger off of my chair and grab Lilly by the hand. It's likely the hardest I've ever grabbed anything before, and I can feel her fingers flinch under my iron grasp.

It feels like her pretty, fragile hand could even snap.

Lilly's hand.

Lilly.

She's my friend. I can't put my feelings in front of hers. Who could blame her for what she did? It's likely that she mentally laughed off the idea of Hisao and I together when I told her about my feelings.

No one could picture anyone with me. I certainly can't.

I release the tension of my grip and slide my fingers between hers. Lilly's unseeing face seems disturbed and curious, as I lead her out the door, almost dragging her in my rush to speak with her.

Hisao watches with... amusement? He has a grin on his face as we exit the room and step outside.

The rain stopped. As much as I don't want to get wet, I'm slightly disappointing to see it stop. It was fitting.

We reach a comfortable distance from the building, standing barefoot on the soft, damp grass.

"Hanako..."

I took her out here. I know what I feel. I need to say something.

"Lilly, you're my best friend."

That much is true. I didn't deserve her when I met her. I don't deserve her now, with all of my anger only minutes ago, and my despair now. I'm her burden.

Lilly doesn't respond, and it becomes apparent that she's confused at such a seemingly irrelevant statement. I press on.

"Y-you know I told you that I liked him!"

It came out with more emotion than I intended it to. Lilly's face loses it's curiosity and falls into the same thing you'd expect to see on a child who realizes the mistake they've made.

I don't blame you. Not anymore. Don't say anything that will...

"I know. I'm afraid it... couldn't be helped."

I look at the ground.

That's... not what I expected to hear. No excuses, no patronizing, no heartfelt slew of apologies in an effort to make me feel better.

Just the solemn fact that it couldn't be helped.

I. I couldn't be helped.

"It's not fair"

My mouth acts against the wishes of my mind. Saying these things will only garner me more pity. More coddling. More cosseting.

"I know."

Lilly sure knows a lot of things, today. I lift my head up, ripping my gaze from the floor and force myself to look at Lilly.

What I see shocks me. Her face, is red and her eyes jettison tears so quickly they form an indistinguishable line down the sides of her cheeks. She's sobbing. Silently.

"Lilly..."

I don't want to see her upset, but I don't want to see the alternative. I don't want to see, everyday, her hands locked with his. I don't want to hear the suggestive language as they flirt while I sit silently in the tea room. I don't want to walk in on them kissing, thinking me gone.

I don't want it.

"I..."

I need to say something.

Lilly starts to walk, shaking, and holds out her arms to embrace me.

I stop her, placing my hand on her shoulder so as to prevent her from advancing.

"Hanako... Please..."

I don't need your embrace. I know what you're thinking, I don't need your assurance that everything is going to be "okay". I don't need to hear that it might be "for the best".

"I... I don't need to be comforted, Lilly."

Lilly's expression or posture doesn't change.

"If not for you... then for me."

I can't believe this. She breaks my heart, tells me it cannot be helped, and now wants to hug me, not for my benefit, but for hers.

This, truly, is what I deserve.

But it's not what I will allow.

"Lilly. I... You're my best friend. But I can't watch this. I-I don't to see you and him together every day, sh-showing me that you have something that I-I'll never have!"

I'm shaking now, too.

I have to keep going.

"If y-you want comfort, you'll h-have to get it from him."

The last word is filled with venom, and I wish I could take it back. I wish I could have rephrased that.

Despite that, my message hits home. Lilly stands there, shocked. There are no more tears, just her longing for justification, unfulfilled by me.

She looks down at my shoes. I still love her, but I can't torture myself with this.

She speaks.

"Okay."

One word, with a million implications. She's not okay. This situation is not okay. I'm not okay.

Okay.

The next few hours are painful. We "relax", watch television, read, and take strolls outside. Once a reasonable amount of time was passed with the piercingly silent activities, I head back to the summerhouse.

I walk inside, expecting to see Hisao. My expectations fail me, and he is not not present. I suppose I'm glad that he's not, knowing him, he would probably crack some joke that would set me off, not knowing how I truly feel.

On my way to a soft bed and a pillow to cry in, I hear water running in the nearby bathroom. Hisao must have decided to run himself a bath.

I suppose Lilly will have to wait on her comfort.

[griffon8]

There have been two eerily similar stories before where Hanako planned on confessing to Hisao, ending with seeing Lilly and Hisao out in the wheat field. There was another one where Hanako told her therapist about planning on confessing to Hisao, but we the reader knew from the birthday gift Hanako got that Hisao was on Lilly's path.

This is the first one that I can recall that went into Hanako's mind after Lilly and Hisao's confessions. Oh wait, I think Doomish did a story about that, but I usually can't read his stories. Not because he's a bad writer—he isn't—but because he too often goes places I don't want to go.

Anyway, this is an interesting take on Hanako during Lilly's Path. I like it.

[Mirage_GSM]

Hmm, I can't remember reading any stories quite like that on these forums...

Anyway, very well written.
And if you consider Lilly is planning to go to Scotland, her bitch-rating increases tenfold.
There is a lot of potential for this story - way more than just a three-parter. For example it would be interesting to see how the situation develops later in Lilly's arc - either after the good or the bad ending...

[Carighan]

Very nicely written, but I think personally I'd leave it standing like this.
I feel it's as strong as it is especially because it focuses so specifically on this brief moment, showing a flash of an otherwise unseen perspective. Make it more, and it becomes too normal (in the context of the story).

OTOH, what would be interesting now would be the same minutes, from Lilly's PoV.

[Herma123]

Very nicely written, but I think personally I'd leave it standing like this.
I feel it's as strong as it is especially because it focuses so specifically on this brief moment, showing a flash of an otherwise unseen perspective. Make it more, and it becomes too normal (in the context of the story).

OTOH, what would be interesting now would be the same minutes, from Lilly's PoV.

Did you read the disclaimer?
You'll see what I'm doing with the story soon.

[nemz]

And if you consider Lilly is planning to go to Scotland, her bitch-rating increases tenfold.

YES.

[FlyingRiceBowl]

That was good read, can't wait for more.

[Brogurt]

>Why is she so much prettier than I am?
>It was my fault again. I'm so stupid,

that certainly didn't take long

>"Hi, Lilly"

Needs punctuation

>and even if It could

"It" should not be capitalized, but you did get the semicolon usage right, which amuses me for some reason.

>I told her how much I liked him

So I guess now you're rewriting canon

>When he feels like he needs to "protect" me. I don't like that look, even if it's from him.
How certain are you that this was a thing in Lilly's route? I know that Hisao went full retard in Hanako's route with the FRENDS thing but I thought it wasn't an issue in Lilly's.

>I suppose that's part of the façade.

>My smile stretches so wide that It's almost painful. I tell the biggest lie I've ever told in my life.

>"Then I'm happy. I'm really, really happy."

>Nothing could be further from the truth.

She seems awfully dead-set on this. I think realistically she'd be a bit more confused and trying to sort out her feelings.

>That much is true. I didn't deserve her when I met her. I don't deserve her now, with all of my anger only minutes ago, and my despair now. I'm her burden.

I sort of found myself agreeing with this line, contrary to all the previous "I'm a master of illusion and they know nothing about how I hate them" stuff. No, that doesn't mean I think Hanako's worthless and all that, but it sounds like something she'd actually think.

>This, truly, is what I deserve.

>But it's not what I will allow.

Sounds awfully melodramatic. I'm not sure that Hanako would actively deny something she "deserves" if she does think she "deserves" it. But alternatively, you could have her being mopey and not being worthy of anything, so I don't really know how to fix that.

>I have to keep going

Needs punctuation

>Two Hallways (Part Two)
>~*~

Shouldn't you, like, separate the parts at the end of each post instead of halfway through them?

>Hisao must have decided to run himself a bath.

I'm having a hard time believing that Lilly would just not give a shit about how upset Hanako is, to the point where she'd just ignore Hanako's issues and go fuck Hisao in the bath.

I mean, I guess it would be okay if you branched off into something else, like making the trip at the house not actually happen like it did in the story, but as it stands right now it seems more like some AU thing. Lilly's path erred on the side of making it too obvious that Hanako was doing well instead of making you unsure, and this doesn't really follow.

Oddly enough, I expected that I'd come out saying that it was too white-knighty and that it would have appealed to the reader wanting to be the hero who makes Hanako all better, but you managed to avoid making Hanako reliant on Hisao for comfort well enough that I didn't have to.

[Herma123]

Thanks for pointing out the typos and the fact that for some reason, my header was in the middle of the frigging post and not at the top. How embarrassing.

Also, there is no canon statement or dev comment that says Hanako did not speak with Lilly beforehand about Hisao.

[Mirage_GSM]

>I told her how much I liked him.

So I guess now you're rewriting canon.

Actuallywhat I especially liked about this story was that it fit exactly with the original story. It could have been that way, even if that puts Lilly in a very negative light.

>When he feels like he needs to "protect" me. I don't like that look, even if it's from him.

How certain are you that this was a thing in Lilly's route? I know that Hisao went full retard in Hanako's route with the FRENDS thing but I thought it wasn't an issue in Lilly's.

Keep in mind this is Hanako's PoV, so even if it's not true, it could be her perception.

[Carighan]

Did everyone really buy Lilly as this angel of a person?
I mean let's be honest here, she's shown as such, but it's not a real person. As overdone as the characters are, my brain stuffs them out with believable attributes when reading the story, because otherwise the character cannot really be processed. Emi is more than just running and trust issues. Lilly has to be frustrated and angry, or lying, at times. Sure it's not shown, but it'd be a weird person if she didn't.

[Herma123]

Two Hallways (Part Three)
~*~

I came here to cry, but It's no use.

The anger has largely gone, and so has the despair. I'm left with this empty feeling, perhaps it's some defense mechanism in my mind that prevents me from going into shock.

Maybe I am in shock.

The bed I am laying on is very expensive. It's set up with high quality fabrics and outrageously soft pillows. The shape of it is somehow rigid under my body, and every inch of cloth feels like sandpaper on my skin.

I nearly yelled at them. I almost did a lot of things that I know I would've regretted. This trip was supposed to be a calm escape from Yamaku, but it's just given me a migraine.

I told her I couldn't see the two of them together and pretend it was just like it was before. I told her that her happiness was fine, as long as I didn't have to see it.

No matter how soft my voice was, everything I said was pure poison. Was there really anything I could say?

Lilly was, no, is my best friend. Hisao, too, is my friend. It's not fair to put my feelings above theirs. They are obviously happy together. I should be happy for them. As far as Hisao knows, I am.

Hisao...

I haven't really thought about how he feels right now. He's probably the happiest man in the world, blissfully unaware of my pain. He has Lilly. He can hold her, kiss her, whisper his secrets in her ear, and he can even...

If I couldn't cry before, It's obvious that I can now. The empty feeling I have is temporarily replaced by the release of emotion, flowing out of my eyes.

My throat begins to feel coarse, and It reminds me of how thirsty I am. I decide to head to the kitchen and find a drink.

I lift myself off of the bed, and hobble towards the door. Exiting the room, I run my hands along the wall of the hallway, feeling the unique texture.

"I could do that for you, if you'd like."

"Refused."

"Why?"

Hisao and Lilly must be in the living room. I peek out from the corner of the hall, and see no one there. They are not in the kitchen either.

Is my mind playing tricks on me?

I suddenly remember: Hisao was running himself a bath. They're in the bathroom.

I creep up to the door, trying my hardest to be as quiet as possible. Listening carefully, I kneel down and place my ear to the door.

They speak again.

"Hisao?"

"Hmm?"

"You're thinking perverted thoughts, aren't you?"

"Give me a break, you're undressing in front of me."

It takes the entirety of my willpower to not gasp to myself at their conversation. Are they so quick to be indecent in front of each other, not a day after they become a couple?

I feel guilt and pain as I hear the things that they say to each other. This is eavesdropping. This is wrong. This is none of my business.

But why does every fiber of my being keep me from moving?

Lilly's voice breaks the silence.

"I guess this would be somewhat more erotic for you than me."

"Why? ...Ah."

Hisao. I almost crack a smile at his foolishness, but I remember the situation and it corrupts into a frown.

Lilly chuckles in response to his question.

"If this is too much for you, Hisao, I can come back later."

"No, no, this is fine. I'm just a bit... well... You're really beautiful, you know."

Hearing the words that I've dreamt of him directing at me makes me blush, but the knowledge that it's meant for Lilly makes my stomach churn in jealousy.

They exchange a few formalities, before splashing and the squeaking of porcelain indicates she has entered the bath with him. My breathing becomes hastened. What are they doing? Do they not care that I'm only a room away?

Regardless, they continue. I hear their heavy breathing, and I can only assume by the audible movements of the water that they've sat up against each other.

If there's anything I regret right now, it's telling Lilly to go get her comfort from Hisao.

"You run your baths quite hot, don't you?"

"A bit. Do you want me to run some cold water to cool it down a bit?"

"No, this is fine."

Their awkward banter, followed by a long and even more awkward silence only makes me think of what must be going on in Lilly's head right now. I've never pushed her away like that, and she must feel awful.

Misery loves company, I suppose.

The stretch of noiselessness is broken by the sounds of strained movements, and Lilly's voice.

"Maybe this was a bit too..."

"Don't worry, it's okay."

It's becoming clear what Hisao's thoughts are, even without seeing them together. He's just stalling.

"You know, compared to Akira, you look a lot more foreign."

"I took after my mother's side, genetically. Akira took after my father's more."

More inane conversation. I want to leave, but something keeps me here. I stop kneeling uncomfortably and sit against the door frame, quietly.

A bit later, something catches my attention.

"Everything's settled down, Hanako took our relationship well, and we'll be going back to school tomorrow."

I guess he's really doesn't know. There's a pause before Lilly answers.

"Indeed. It's a shame to be going back so soon, but we'll still have our memories of this place."

Yes. Memories of this place. Memories of two broken hearts.

Hisao speaks.

"Memories, huh? I suppose so. We'll have to see how everything goes once we get back, but for now... I'm just glad you like me. I've been winding myself up for weeks about that, so I'm thankful for things turning out like this."

I knew it. I quiver in the confirmation of my old fears that he's had eyes for her the whole time. His response is a sigh from her.

"Hey, Lilly?"

"Yes?"

"How was it? Last night, that is."

My heart stops.

Last night; before they even told me. How quick was she to jump into bed with him? An hour? A few minutes?

"Hisao, please..."

Giggling and heavy breathing leads me to believe they've begun to fondle each other. The mental images of the two of them in the bath present me with more disbelief than pain, to my surprise. Despite this, my body refuses to get up and walk away.

My hand finds it's way to my chest, and I feel my heart beat.

The sounds of light moans begin to fill the silence, as it becomes obvious he's slipped his fingers between her legs. To my horror, I don't feel any more upset.

"Lilly..."

Hisao's obviously worked himself up. My horror begins to subside, and intrigue crawls in it's place.

I hear more splashing, but it's loud and continuous enough to make me assume they're exiting the bath. What happened? Are they leaving? I prepare to rush to my room, before I hear a sort of hollow thud as I imagine them sitting down on the floor. What else could they be doing?

A small gasp is released in the room, barely audible over the squeaking tiles and the sloshing of the recently vacated bathtub. The descriptive noises leave little to the imagination.

The following stifled moans and labored exhaling fill my mind, as the only people in my world find love in each other, and I sit here destroyed in a hallway.

I think of them, before all of this. What seems like a timeless amount of friendship with Lilly somehow feels incomplete. I don't know why, but I cannot imagine my life without the three of us. Without Hisao.

My hand lowers to my stomach, and I slouch down.

The sounds of the bathroom, as quiet as they may be, fill my ears as if it was the loudest thing in the world.

My hand caresses the elastic of my pajama pants.

They breathe each others' names, and the movements of their lust echoes through the door and breaks into my mind.

My hand finds it's way into my undergarments.

I exhale, my lungs synchronized with theirs. I think of all the things I will never have, all of the people I'll never find love with, and how distant the ones merely a door away are.

I think of how I'm destroying myself.

"Hisao..."

Lilly's harsh breaths seemingly pushes me forward, with only their sounds in my head.

"Hisao..."

Three's a crowd, Hanako. They're just fine without you. This is all you'll ever have.

Their breathing quickens and increases in volume until they suddenly stop.

I exhale, shaking.

This is what I've become.

"That was... Good..."

Lilly gulps before responding.

"Mm.."

I hate myself.

[Fiandra]

Is Hanako doing something what I think she's doing ? Huh.

[Herma123]

Is Hanako doing something what I think she's doing ? Huh.

Uh, yeah.

There's a disclaimer for that.