Short Cut / Detour
To the relief of the entire class, our teachers decide to have mercy on us and ease back into things. We mostly just review the stuff that we went over before the break, instead of diving headfirst into new material at a breakneck speed. I, um, don't even want to think about how fast that would be. I don't want to think about necks breaking, not mine or anyone else's, except... no, I can't really think of anyone I would wish that on.
Finally, our last class comes to an end, we escape from our desks. I fell asleep a few times during lecture already but I still feel so worn out, this is going to take some getting used to. Re-used to. Relearn what was... what was unlearned? You know what, no more learning today, please.
After school today we have a literature club meeting. I'll probably end up appreciating the beanbag chairs more than the books, but it will be nice to see the other club members again. Just need to get... down one flight of stairs, and... and through the library, with its aisles spread out like hard landmines. Does that analogy make any sense? I would ask Hisao, he's walking next to me but he looks like he's deep in thought, right. Right. Keep walking. We're almost there now, and I know he'll catch me if I fall asleep. Or at least, he'll try. And it's the thought that counts. I think.
The warm afternoon sun that drifts through the library's windows is a welcome sight. Hefting my bag over my shoulder, I snatch one of the larger beanbags and drag it along behind me, call the librarian, see if I care. I have to work to get it through the door to the club room but it's worth it, we're almost late... as... as usual, and all the good seats are already taken.
Hisao frowns at the lack of free beanbag chairs, casting a longing glance at mine.
“Share?”
I shake my head back and forth, uninterested in doing anything else today that might earn me a spot on one of the student council's torture racks.
“That would be a public display of affection.” I mutter, plopping the beanbag down on the floor and nudging it closer to the center table with both hands.
Hisao laughs as the last few club members trickle through the door behind us. “Okay, Shizune.”
I flap my wrists in the air in some hazy attempt at sign language and then fall into the cushy, oversized beanbag. Hisao scoffs in mock indignation as he grabs the nearest boring, uncomfortable chair and takes a seat. I wonder what Shizune said to him on the way to class this morning? Or, well, she wouldn't have been the one to say it I guess, that would be Misha's job. But if she did lodge a complaint or something, Hisao hasn't mentioned it, and I haven't had to suffer the... the winter of her discontent or something, so.
Now that I think about it, the literature club room is kind of like a dungeon, maybe it was built by the same people who designed the student council's dungeon? I'd like to stay here, please. I'll, I'll take paper cuts over iron maidens, and things like that.
Thankfully, Yuuko arrives and begins the meeting before I can get too engrossed in the hypothetical. She asks how everyone's vacation was, and she even brought snacks! Best club adviser ev--oh, they're leftovers from the Shanghai. Well that's okay, I... I never look a gift pastry in the mouth. Unless it's my mouth. If that makes sense.
With introductions completed and leftovers vanquished, the assembled students launch into the day's agenda. The literature club is a pretty mixed group, we have everything from awkward little first years to more than a couple of third years, myself included. And Hisao now, too. Generally, they're a laid back bunch, we don't have anyone who really breaks the mold you would think of. Like, there's no one who loves to read books but also enjoys wrestling bears in the mountains, or, or we don't have anyone who's both blind and armless and still reads because screw you fate.
No, it's pretty relaxed here, I think that's what I like the most about it. We don't really have what you would call club drama either, the closest thing is when Yuuko starts to get too stressed, but even then no one really holds it against her. Today, though. Today is kind of different.
My eyelids are getting a little heavy but I tune out the current discussion about the things we read over the break, I peer across the room. Sitting in one of the corners, almost invisible behind the beam of afternoon light that shines down through the one window, a lone boy lurks. And I mean it, he's, he's not sitting normally, like a normal person does. He's totally lurking, I can barely even see him but what little I can make out is all arms crossed and glaring. At me, and at the messy-haired boy sitting next to me.
He didn't speak to me during class, and I didn't see him at all during lunch. To be honest, I haven't really thought about Lezard since summer vacation started. I guess he was working at the Beijing the whole time, and... I guess he's still angry. A month might be a long time to hold a grudge, I don't know, but...
Okay, let's--huh? What? Oh.
“Yeah, that's fine with me.” I mumble, Steinbeck is as good a choice as any to read over the next week. I guess. But anyway.
Lezard is still upset, it seems. I feel like I need to apologize to him, Hisao might have been the one who did the threatening but it happened because of me, because I... I had a nightmare and ran out of class.
Even if the events of that day weren't entirely my fault, I still don't like this. Lezard is a jerk, but even then, his intentions were good. I know he's not all bad, and I... I know it would probably be frustrating, being in his position. That doesn't give him an excuse to stew and glower for a whole month, but still.
Maybe Hisao should be the one apologizing, but I've known Lezard longer than he has, and he was always tolerable before. He was part of our lunch group, he made dry jokes and he got along pretty well with Taro and Akio, they might even be missing him by now.
I think I need to fix this. It will be one less problem, one less thing to deal with, and right now, that would be good, that's what I need. The career survey is shoved somewhere in my bag but I promised Mutou I would get it back to him by tomorrow, I guess the staff really do keep track of things like that. It makes sense, even a school like Yamaku looks better when its students get into good universities.
I'll... I'll deal with that paper later though, for now I need to get through the rest of this club meeting. But even though I try to hold on, everything is beginning to slip away. The beanbag below me is so incredibly comfy but I sit up, I squint at the people who are talking. I even glance at Lezard once or twice, hoping that his... his malevolent aura, I guess that's a good way to put it, I'm hoping that it will wake me up. But it doesn't. The already slightly dim, oppressive surroundings fade away, I collapse back into my chair just as sleep overtakes me.
Maybe he wanted to let me get some rest, or maybe the discussion today was really interesting, but either way, Hisao doesn't wake me up until the meeting is over. Through the blinking and the wiping sleep from my eyes, I see the other club members all packing up and leaving, Lezard has already vanished.
Well... there goes that. Thanks, head of mine. But then again, I guess I didn't really know what to say to him in the first place. I'll work on that.
I'm still blinking as Hisao offers a hand to pull me up. “I need to track down Mutou for something, are you going to be okay from here on out?” He asks as I get to my feet.
I nod, I... I think I'm awake now. Really, I should be okay, I'm able to get around the school by myself when I need to, and I even just passed out, so hopefully I'll be good for a while. Besides, I would say yes even if I wasn't, that he's not insisting on going everywhere with me is a good sign, I guess that means he trusts me to be alright.
Well I won't let him down. Even though I'm still slumping a little, I shoo him out of the room with a grin and he grins back, seeming to get lost in thought again as he begins walking away through the library.
I wonder what's on his mind. Maybe I'll ask him later? I'm still in the literature club room, it's only me and Yuuko left now. In the typical fashion, a bunch of people grabbed books on their way in that they wanted to suggest to the group and didn't bother putting them away, so she's having trouble carrying them in addition to the snack tray. I can't even see her face behind the stack of books she clutches with one arm. Yuuko takes a tentative step towards the door but begins wobbling sideways, I watch her for a few moments, slowly tilting my head back and forth to mirror her movements.
I'm still waking up, but I can't really just walk out and leave her like this. Besides, she brought snacks for us. My legs feel heavy but I take a few steps closer to her. “Here, I can take those.”
“Oh, thank you.” I remove a handful of the books at the top of the pile to see her smiling at me. She's still got a heavy load, but... but I've got my bag too, and she's the adult here so...
That's right. Yuuko certainly doesn't act like an adult sometimes, or at least, not the ones I'm used to seeing. Looking like she's trying frantically to muster her strength, she strides through the door and out into the library. I follow her and hope that the warm golden light that now fills the air doesn't put me right back to sleep.
“Did you have a nice vacation, Suzu?” She asks, walking a few steps ahead of me. I nod blankly, but, but she can't see that.
“Yeah.”
“Well... that's good.” Yuuko reaches the front desk and sets her cargo down with a thump. She breathes a weary sigh, probably dreading the task of returning all these books to their rightful places, and I can't say I blame her. She really does work hard, and all this is on top of her job at the Shanghai, and... she's in university, right? How does she manage to stay sane through--well. Well...
“Growing up must be terrible.” I mumble, stepping forward and depositing my handful of books next to hers. Yuuko starts, she seems to have forgotten that I was even in the room for a moment.
“What do you mean?” She turns to me, frowning nervously.
I shrug. “It's just...”
The career survey is still sitting in my bag, like a... a paper tiger that eats at me. Mauls at me. I know I can't keep running away from it, Mutou is just doing his job and it's not fair for me to test his patience by keeping this up. He's a good teacher too, even if he's a little strange, he's tried to make sure I don't get too far behind and things like that. And he and Hisao seem to get along fairly well.
Yuuko, she's an adult too, but she's kind of like me, she's a lot more unsteady. And she's always willing to give advice, as long as she's sure that she's not imposing. Maybe she's good at handling tigers. Paper tigers that is, I mean, no, I mean career surveys. I'm starting to get tired again...
Fatigue seeps through my body, I stifle a yawn as I sink sideways and lean my upper body against the desk.
“Yuuko...” I blink a few more times. I need to stay awake, I want to know. “Is being an adult scary?”
It's clearly not a question she's used to being asked in her role as a librarian. She thinks it over for a few moments, but then an only slightly hesitant smile spreads across her face. “It's not so bad, actually.” She says.
“Really?” I look up at her, grateful that the library has a carpet instead of linoleum like the halls outside. She nods.
“There are more things to worry about, of course. More things to manage.” Her expression grows cloudy, she wrings her hands together, going from on topic to tangent in the space of a few seconds. I guess I know the feeling.
“You have to keep track of bills and budget your time, and once you get to university, the learning style is completely different...” She should... she should stop, I think. She can stop any time now.
“Paying for school is really hard, and you have to make sure you're getting enough hours at work but not too much or your grades start to slip...” Yuuko, please. She's frowning deeply now, but catches herself and shakes her head back and forth, apparently remembering that she's supposed to be giving a pep talk instead of making me even more nervous.
“But overall, it's really not so bad.” She finishes, giving me an encouraging smile.
But... that's...
All the things she just listed are terrible. No, that's it, growing up is terrible. I let out a groan as my head sinks to rest on top of my arms. It's decided, I'm just going to go back to my room and sleep for days.
“Are you starting to worry about final exams and things like that?” Yuuko asks, still holding her hands in front of her chest as she gives me a look of mild concern. Urgh.
“I... yeah.” I sigh, gathering my strength and pushing off from the desk. It takes some effort, but I glance around the library, trying to see if any beanbag chairs are within a reasonable distance... and of course, they're not. We're... we're going to have to do this the hard way. The standing up way.
“I know it can be intimidating to look ahead at things like that.” Yuuko says, still frowning. “But would you really want your life to stay where it's at forever?”
Huh. Uh. Hmm.
Having my best friend there to help me wake up every morning? Getting to spend class and lunch with Hisao and Miki and the others, every day, and then always having my friends there to help me study or go get some dinner or just hang around and do nothing? Endless dates with Hisao, and, and watching movies with him and cuddling up with him and doing... um... other things with him...
“Yup.” I nod hazily. “Absolutely. Sign me up.”
Yuuko almost panics for a moment, obviously that wasn't the answer she was hoping for.
“Well...” She begins again, looking like she's choosing her words a little more carefully this time. “Even if that were the case, there's just no real way to do that. All good things must end, right?”
Oh god, Yuuko, don't say it like that. I want to protest, I want to argue, but I know she's right. The only way to drag out high school any longer would be to start flunking all of my classes and repeat a year, but I couldn't do that. Hisao and Miki wouldn't let me, we've spent too many evenings cramming and studying and making up missed class time for me to do something as selfish as that.
So I can't stop. I, the school year is a ride that I can't get off, no matter how much I might want to. I stare at the floor, feeling trapped.
What if things only get worse from here? What will I do when it becomes time to apply to universities, to take entrance exams, will I run away then too, or just try to ignore it until it blows up in my face?
I think I'm already beginning to retreat to some quiet place inside myself, I think I'm running far away again. But Yuuko's gentle tone pulls me back to reality. “Being a grown-up isn't really that scary, Suzu.” She says.
I look up from the ground, now she's giving me an encouraging smile. I guess she found the right words. Well fire away, Yuuko. Please. I'm starting to sink again.
“Sure, it takes some getting used to, but so does anything else in life. Once you're there, it's not really so bad at all. It's the transition that's the hardest part, I think.”
She continues to smile, clasping her hands before her and looking like she's finally beginning to relax. “Growing up is scary because of all the uncertainty that comes in between, and to get through that, I think that everyone needs to have courage. If you have someone you can rely on, that just makes it easier.”
“You have someone like that, right?” She asks.
I... I nod, yes. Yes I do, and I'm lucky enough to have not just one person, although, although Hisao certainly does a really great job of being there for me. But I have even better than that, I have Miki too and I... I have my parents. And I know they want what's best for me, I know they want me to be happy.
“Well... so there.” Yuuko smiles brightly. “The classes at my university might be really hard, and getting the hang of working two jobs and going to school at the same time was hard too. But after a while, you learn to manage things like that. You get used to it.”
Some of the things she's describing, I don't really think I would ever want to get used to, at all. But I guess she's right. When I entered my last year of junior high, and... and my brother graduated ahead of me and came to Yamaku, I was scared. But I made it through. And then when I was finally old enough to attend school here too, even though I knew I wouldn't be alone, I was still terrified. But I survived.
And even, even here and now, even today, I'm still here. After everything that's happened, I've still managed to survive.
So, yeah, she's right. I'm not alone here, and I... I just need to have some courage. The future is still blank and empty and frightening, but running away isn't an option right now. I have to keep going.
And anyway, before I worry about all that, I need to see if I can patch things up with Lezard. I don't have his number and I'm not sure what dorm room he's in, and besides, I don't know if I would be comfortable going to his room by myself. But maybe he's still hanging around the school somewhere, and if not, I'll be able to talk to him during class tomorrow, after all, his desk is right next to mine.
Yuuko looks like she doesn't really know what to do if this round of advice doesn't work, but it does. I think. So I thank her and make my escape, it's starting to get late and the library will be closing soon. She really does work hard, I hope that, when I'm her age, my life won't be that stressful. You'd think being a librarian would be relaxing.
I lug my bag over my shoulder and walk through the halls of the school. I guess summer really is just about over, the sun has set by now and it's starting to get dark. Even though the inside of the building is still brightly lit, it's getting harder and harder to walk in a straight line. That talk must have took a lot out of me, although it was mostly just Yuuko speaking and me listening and both of us panicking a little. But... but either way, something to drink would be nice. I stagger over to the first vending machine I see that sells coffee, let my bag drop to the floor and reach for the buttons to make my selection. But just as I do, another hand reaches for the panel.
Oh. I stare at the new addition for a few moments, blinking. It's... it's a white hand. I mean, not like a glove or anything, the skin is light. Aaand... then there's a sleeve. A green one, so it's a uniform jacket. Almost none of the girls have started wearing theirs yet, it's not cold enough. So that means it's a guy. Probably. The suspense is... is killing me, or putting me to sleep, either way. I bite my lip and look up.
Oh.
...Found you.
“Hi, Lezard.” I mumble. The bespectacled, brown-haired boy leans back, he thrusts his hands in his pockets. And grimaces.
“What do you want, Suzu?”
I tilt my head towards the vending machine. “Coffee.” I reply weakly. For a moment Lezard looks like he might actually smile, but he glances away, digging through his pocket and producing a handful of coins.
He steps closer to the machine, pointing to one of the rows inside. “This one, right?”
“Um. Yeah.” But I didn't mean it like that, I thought he was asking why I was here. Without another word he presses the button and inserts his coins.
Click. Whirr. Thump. Lezard retrieves the canned coffee, handing it to me before selecting something else for himself.
“Thanks.” I can't think of anything else to say as I accept the drink. He doesn't even reply, he just pops the tab on his can and takes a swig.
This is... see, this is exactly what makes it so hard to be around him. First it's blunt, sarcastic jokes that sometimes go too far, and then he does something nice but it's so unexpected that you don't know how to react, and when he doesn't get the response he was hoping for, he gets upset. Look, he's scowling now, but I said thanks! I don't know what else to say. But I guess there was something I've been wanting to tell him since earlier.
“Hey, Lezard? I'm sorry about... about before. During exams.”
He stares at the vending machine instead of me, still frowning. “Why are YOU sorry?”
“Well...” I open my can of coffee and take a quick drink. I'm not stalling for more time to get my thoughts straightened out, I just wanted to see how it tasted, and I need the caffeine. Okay I'm lying, except for that last part. “It was kind of my fault.”
“It's your fault that your boyfriend is an asshole?”
“No... I mean, yes... I mean, he's not.” I, I want to fix this. Please, can't we talk this over?
Now I'm the one grimacing. This isn't going very well.
“Hisao is a really, really good guy.” I say carefully. “He was just under a lot of pressure that week. I mean, we all were. And I'm grateful that you came after me and I'm sorry that he, that he was a jerk to you, but...”
“But what?” Lezard asks, finally turning to look at me. I can't tell if he's scowling or flinching.
I don't know what else to say, I open my mouth but nothing comes. I end up just shrugging, a response that obviously doesn't do it for him, because he crosses his arms and continues to stare at me with narrowed eyes.
“Look, Suzu.” He grunts. His expression keeps twisting, like he's trying hard to get something out but doesn't know the right words. I guess I know what that's like, but I try to keep my own face neutral, I want to hear what he has to say. He unfolds his arms again, returning one hand to his pocket, the other still clenching his drink.
“I'm not... I mean, I'm kind of...” He grits his teeth as frustration takes over. Lezard takes another sip from his can and glances at the darkening sky beyond the nearest window before turning back to me. He's glaring again.
Does he want me to read his mind? I'm... I'm not laughing at him, or making fun of him or even judging him. I know how difficult it can be to talk to people about some things, sometimes. It's easy in theory, just open your mouth and speak. But it's more complicated like that, it's a hundred times harder.
“What do you want from me, Lezard?” I ask softly, trying not to frown. He looks right at me now, there's a glimmer of pain in his eyes.
“I may not look as good in a sweatervest.” He says slowly. I think I already know where this is going and he can see it on my face. He glances away, looking like he would stop now if he could but he can't, he's come this far.
“And I know I'm not as skilled with people as him. I can't... quote plays, or crap like that.” He continues, avoiding my gaze. “But just tell me. I just want to know.”
“If Nakai wasn't here, if he hadn't... swept you off your goddamned feet, would you ever... I mean, would you have said yes, if...” Clenching his jaw, he finally works up the nerve to look back at me again.
This is a position I never really hoped I would find myself in. I mean, this is... it's sort of like a confession, right? And I guess that's flattering. It was certainly flattering when Hisao did it, and I'm not--I'm not comparing Lezard to Hisao. That's unfair, because I know Hisao better, even though Lezard and I have been classmates for a long time now.
But I feel bad, I feel like the villain here. Not just because he has to wrestle with this stuff because of me, but I'm also partly to blame for why he's been in such a foul mood for so long. And I guess I know for sure now that it's not just because of my nightmare during our last exam, but it's also because I'm dating Hisao. Even before I ran out of class, before we were even, um, official, Lezard started acting differently around me. Around us. And I guess by now I don't have any doubt that he likes me, and he probably has for a while.
I never strung him along or anything, if he had a crush on me I didn't ignore it, I just didn't know. Maybe I'm oblivious when it comes to things like that, or maybe I was just too distracted with everything else. With playing battleship. But Lezard...
Even if I wasn't with Hisao, even if he hadn't started hanging out with me and Miki or even come to Yamaku at all, I don't think I would have been able to return your feelings. And it isn't because you're not Hisao, he isn't perfect either. It's--
“Okay.” Lezard says sharply. “All right.”
My eyes had drifted to the floor but I look back up at him, he's back to scowling. He shakes his head, he's done struggling, he's done trying, I guess. Now he's just back to angry. Outside the window, the sky is just a sheet of black.
“I get that you're all fine and happy with Hisao, and that's great.” Lezard goes on, his tone growing venomous. “But I don't need it shoved in my face.”
Shoved in... what? Lezard, don't be like that, what did I... what did we do? We didn't even sit together during club today, even though there was room for both of us. We talked in class but we, we weren't fawning over eachother or anything like that. Again, I open my mouth to say something but can't even begin to come up anything. You didn't wait for me to respond to your question, you didn't let me.
Lezard raises his drink and downs the rest in one long gulp, before continuing to look at me with narrowed eyes. “Go be fine, Suzu. Go be happy.”
“But go do it somewhere else.” He tosses the now empty can into the nearest recycle bin. It's... a nice shot, two points, and, and he even recycled instead of throwing it into the trash. Now he's walking away, Lezard, why are you such an ass like this? You do something nice, you buy me a drink and then you, you recycle a can and then you tell me to do something somewhere else and then you leave? Why?
I know what he was going to ask, what he was trying to ask. And I know what I would have had to say. But I can't find any good explanation for how he's acting now, and I can't ask him either, I glare at his back more in frustration and sheer bewilderment than anger. All I wanted to do was fix this, all I wanted was to go back to being friends again, or close to it. I just don't understand.
By the time I get back to the girls' dorms, the stars are coming out and I still don't know what to make of Lezard. When I step into my room, I pull the now crumpled career survey from my bag, but even with the coffee I'm far too tired to take a serious look at it. There was just too much that happened today, I don't have the strength for something like this. Maybe... maybe I'll do it tomorrow, before class.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't, of course, but luckily for me, Mutou is too preoccupied with the day's lecture to ask about it. And next day's. And the day after that. Things still haven't kicked into high gear yet as far as our classwork goes, but I know we're getting there, the note of tension that hung in the air around exams is starting to sink back in, and I hate it.
I'm trying to take Yuuko's advice. I'm trying to hold it together and, and be brave and everything like that, but it's easier said than done. I want to be there for my friends, I want to be there for Hisao and Miki, just like they have for me, so many times by now. I... I guess I want to be there, period. Here, I mean.
I want to be around. I do want to see graduation, I know that now.
I just need to get from A to B. I just need to hold on. I just need to have some courage.
Since that day, Lezard doesn't so much as look at me, even though we sit right next to eachother. At first it was painfully awkward but I guess I got used to it, this might be as good as it's going to get. He doesn't seem to set foot in the cafeteria during lunch, and he doesn't show up to the next literature club meeting.
Part of me still wants to tell him I'm sorry, but I'm done apologizing. I've never gone out of my way to upset him, and me and Hisao aren't like some of the couples you see in this school, we aren't constantly hanging on eachother and kissing and hugging every ten minutes. No, we, we link arms and we hold hands sometimes, but we don't make out in the middle of lunch, and we certainly don't do any of those things during literature club meetings. So I'm not going to apologize to Lezard. I haven't been shoving anything in his face. It digs at me, it's frustrating that I can't make him understand that, but I have bigger things to deal with. I... I can't get stuck on this, I can't get bogged down just because Lezard is being a jerk again. I'm sorry. I tried.
I told Miki about my talk with him, if you could call it that. I left out the part where he almost sort of confessed to me, I don't think that's right to spread around. The last bit though she just dismissed as him being jealous and angry, and I guess she's probably right. I haven't mentioned it to Hisao because that might just makes things worse. He hasn't noticed anything though, he's been in a contemplative mood ever since the first day of school. But today, he says says he has something to talk to me about after class. He wants me to meet him in his room, I'm... kind of nervous.
But I'm always nervous, when I don't know what to expect. And I know that he just wants to help, I know I can trust him. I trust him.
Miki walks with me to the boys' dorms before we part ways, she's going shopping with Molly and Ikuno and I'm, well, I don't know what I'm doing. But I guess I'll find out.
I'm lucky enough not to pass out as I make my way through the hallways, until I'm standing in front of Hisao's door. Just as I'm about to knock, the sound of a lock being unbolted--several, no, more than several of them--comes from behind me.
Months ago I would be panicking right now, but... actually, no, it's okay to panic. I haven't thought about Kenji since before the break either, what if he's spent the entire time drawing up battle plans and, and rigging up traps in his room? It's been a long time since, uh. Since he kidnapped me. I was never really angry about that, I don't think Kenji is really dangerous, and it was fun, when Hisao came to my rescue. Hisao, he was angry about it though, but that was a while ago. With that said though, who knows what Kenji has been up to since then, considering Hisao was still giving him the cold shoulder. If he wasn't dangerous before, he could be now.
But maybe, maybe if I can talk Kenji into apologizing, I can patch things up between them. Maybe it won't be like with Lezard and blow up in my face, maybe this is something I can fix after all.
The door opens and Yamaku's one and only--I hope--conspiracy theorist stumbles out, a blanket draped over his shoulders and clutching what appears to be a glass bottle, already half drained, in one hand. Its contents slosh back and forth with every step he takes, I wonder if Kenji is planning on smashing it and using it in self defense, or if he'd rather die before wasting any?
Actually, actually, “self defense” might be stretching it.
“Away party is... away, shit, I don't know. Go. Go go.” He mutters to himself, turning and slamming his door shut behind him before fiddling with the locks for a full ten seconds.
Even standing across from him in the hallway, I can smell the stench of alcohol on his breath, and he looks like he hasn't showered in far too long, maaaybe since before summer vacation. He really does seem to have deteriorated since I last saw him, a fact that I can only see as depressing.
“Wait, what color is my shirt?” He quickly looks down, patting his chest with his free hand before nodding to himself. “Okay, okay. We're good.”
His vision is normally bad, but maybe it's the booze, he doesn't even seem to notice me this time. With his room secured, Kenji staggers down the hall while continuing to ramble. Now I think I can make out something about gigabytes destroying his systems, maybe his computer has crashed and he's going to find someone who can reboot it?
I glance at Hisao's door, he's probably already inside and waiting for me, but Kenji is getting away...
[Go after him.]
[Do not pursue Kenji.]
Previous I
First
"This is me...all of me." 
"He wouldn't wake up...The one time he actually needed me and I wasn't there for him!”
good work sir!
