Chapter 1
'There is a state of mind, called battle fatigue. It is the point at which a soldier can not carry on; they have been broken down. All they desire is a bit of peace, and some time to clear their mind. Probably to avoid being completely broken. Yet at the point of battle fatigue, no one would argue that these people truly had lost their mind.
In their pursuit of the peace they so highly seek, they often expose themselves to various dangers. One careless second, then a short loud blam, and the soldier would have turned dead instead of insane.'
My grandfather never was the best at telling me bedside stories. Stories about the war, the bombing or about the broadcasts that would later shape our entire nation. I never liked them, but I had apparently listened because, why would I otherwise suddenly hear his words inside my head, when everything was supposed to be so calm?
I redirect my attention to the girl with no arms. Her name is Rin, I think she has just been exposed to more than she could handle – she is on the edge.
She is standing with her stumps spread out, as to give the world a hug. Yet her face is looking at me. She is asking me a question; a complex yet simple question. Not that in itself the question is a paradox, but the way she asks it to a guy with Arrhythmia.
“Hisao, what do you call it when inside your heart, it feels like everything is al right?”
Then she collapses.
Before I've had the time to properly digest that specific question, before I can manage to consider the thousands of answers.
I had been standing behind her, almost wanting to grab out and hold her. So perhaps that is why she don't fall completely down before I grab her. Preventing her from hitting her head on the rock she is standing upon.
Luckily Rin is not really a heavy girl, and the fact that she hasn't been eating properly for the last couple of days is probably helping.
So I catch her from tumbling down. And suddenly she is in my arms, while unconscious.
More thoughts run through my head, I seem to be in another state of consciousness.
I try to think, but my mind must have taken on the pseudonym 'Bob Marley' because it does nothing but jam.
Without thinking I reach conclusions. First I have to find a place to put Rin, then I have to get the nurse.
My legs move on their own, I'm in a state of shock myself, going down the hill and through the forest. My heart begins acting up, and I'm forced several times to sit down, losing uncountable minutes.
Am I experiencing battle fatigue? Probably not, Rin has been through a lot more than I have. If anything it might be the sudden revelation that she loves me.
My consciousness returns, once we are back at the school. I want to bring her to the safest place in the world, and of all places that seems to be my room.
I pass Kenji on my way through the hall, he barely manage to make a remark about a manly picnic. But as he sees Rin in my arms, he shuts up.
What he must have been thinking isn't my concern. Kenji is legally blind so for all he knows, I might simply be helping a fellow student.
An explanation was due, but not yet. And when it was to be given, things would go sour. Kenji doesn't really like girls.
It is surprisingly easy to open my door, without banging Rin's head into the door frame. My bedsheets are still a mess, from before our excursion to the dandelion hill.
I manage to put her down and put my blanket over her.
“What's wrong?” I hear the raspy voice behind me, had Kenji followed me in here?
I turn, yes he has followed me in here.
“Kenji, mind giving us a few minutes? Don't worry, I won't do any drug raping.”
“Sure dude.” and Kenji leaves us before returning to his room and locking all his locks.
My heart hurts badly, but considering I've still not passed out I might have a chance.
I make my way to the nurse. Perhaps I shouldn't have told Kenji to fuck off, as I'm in doubt if I can make it.
I clear my head, 'Hisao, you can still feel your limbs, you can still move forward, just go to the nurse and get some help.'
It helps, somehow, my mind becomes more lucid and everything seems a bit more clearer.
I pass a handful of students on my way to the nurse. Some I recognize and some are strangers. No one seem to notice anything wrong, which I takes as a good sign. The nurse don't seem too awfully busy as he is only reading some papers, yet he notice me straight away.
“What is wrong?” His question shows better observational skills towards my health and facial expression than most students. Then again, would I have come there if nothing was wrong?
“It's Tezuka Rin,” my voice sounds normal, but gasping for air “She passed out.”
The nurse stands up, fetches a bag and tells me to lead the way. It doesn't seem to phase him that Rin is in my room.
While the nurse checks up on Rin, I push off a few books and papers from my table and sit down. My heart seems to have resigned, and it is slowly turning back to its 'normal' beating.
I'm exhausted, but for a good reason, for a while it felt as if Rin and I stood on the edge of life and death. I open my eyes, after having shut them for a brief second. I hear whispering, from the door, and I turn to look.
It seems quite a few students has noticed the nurse and I head for the dormitories. I blush as my room is a bit of a mess, but I'm strangely happy. Yes, a dozen people is peeking into my room all quiet, but at least it shows a bit of concern.
I smile, the crowds attention to my room is abnormal, but abnormal in a good way. Kind of like receiving the best grade on a paper after consistently getting failing grades.
“Hey, Hisao, what happened?” one of them whispers to me.
I look up, it is a guy from my class. His name escapes me for a brief second, but then I recognize him.
Maeda Takashi. The guy with bandage on his ear. Always seen with a hat which I have mixed opinions about. It takes another second before I remember that he is in the art club too.
He probably got here, carried by curiosity. Yet seeing as the Art Club's star is unconscious, Takashi might just want to know.
“I don't know,” I whisper back, “Had I been sure, I wouldn't have fetched the nurse.”
He nods at my answer as if to add 'Good point'.
The whole assembly outside my door reminds me of those Christmas decorations where everyone is gathered to see the coming of Christ. About a dozen people are out there, maybe more but probably less.
Everyone silent, waiting for more information about Rin's condition.
I recognize a few more people but fail to place names.
Takashi asks me if Rin and I are going out, I'm unsure but reply that it seems like it.
So many things seem unsure. What happened, what will happen but most importantly: What is going on right now?
[CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 2]
