"We have met the enemy, and he... is us."

[YZQ]

Hi guys. Returning to writing fanfiction from a very long break. This thread will be for my "nightmare" stories of the female cast. Basically, their fears, demons, that kind of stuff. Hope my work is half-decent, and scared some of you readers. RnR's are welcome.


Hanako opened her eyes. She was in a barren land. There was nothing and no one, but her. Hanako trembled. She knew where she was: in her nightmare. She had the same dream over and over again so many times, anyone less sensitive will have deemed it a routine. Not her. Every time, she could recall every detail: the smell of burning flesh; the sight of her mother's charred corpse; the pain coming from the right half of her body; the howl of the night wind as it swept across the inferno surrounding her; the salty taste of her tears mixed with the soot and ash from the scene. She tried to steel herself for the ordeal...

And there was nothing.

No smell, no pain, no howl.

Nothing.

Hanako was grateful. It seemed that her mind had, for once, decided to let her off. She turned around.

There was a mirror looking back at her.

Hanako was sure that the mirror was not there when she had first scanned her surroundings. She walked up to it.

It was a full length mirror, and Hanako saw that she was wearing her Yamaku High School uniform. She peered at her image.

The image blinked at her.

Hanako froze. She was positively sure that she had not blinked.

There it went again, blinking its left eye.

Before her very eyes, her image stepped out from the mirror, and stood in front of her. Hanako's horror was written all over her face, when the doppelganger stared right at her. No, it stared INTO her. Slowly, the corners of its lips curled upwards to form first, a grin, then a smile, which grew until it was from ear to ear.

However, its eyes continued to stare into its target. They were mocking her. For what reason, Hanako did not know.

With a creepy, high pitched laugh which came from nowhere, both the image and the mirror vanished. Hanako closed her eyes. Somehow, she knew that there was more to come.

When she opened her eyes, she gazed around in wonder. She was back at the orphanage where she was sent to after that accident. She was in the playground. It was summer time, but the weather was surprisingly mild. Kids were doing what kids do best: running, screaming, jumping around...

Then, she saw someone.

A little girl of about ten, with scars covering half her face, was reading a book under a tree. Hanako knew that it was her from all those years ago. She walked up to the little girl.

As she got closer, a group of young boys ran past her. There were three, four of them. Hanako recognised them. They were the bullies who picked on her back in those days.

She saw the leader snatching the book away from her younger self. Hanako cringed. That always happened.

"Hey, Scarface, whatcha reading now?" The bully's taunt stabbed deep into Hanako's heart. She had almost forgotten those days, until now. The rest surrounded her, and was laughing away.

"Give it back."

Hanako perked up her ears. That was not how she would answer. She would cry and beg the bully to return the book to her. The little girl's voice was polite, but firm. The laughter died down.

"Give it back? Say, what happened to that crybaby who would beg for her precious..."

"Give. It. Back." The little girl's voice was still polite, but the firmness had been ratched up by several levels. Hanako could tell that the bullies were trying not to be scared of her. However, she did not see the little fists that were forming by the little girl's sides.

"why, you..." The sentence was broken by a punch to the leader's mouth. Hanako gasped. What she was about to see shocked her even more.

At the first punch, two of the boys ran away. The other remaining boy swung a punch at the girl. She took it on the right side of her jaw, where the scars were. Undeterred, the girl socked the boy right in the gut. With the leader recovering from his blow, there was soon a brawl under the tree.

It didn't take long before some of the orphanage's staff came and separated the fighting children. Well, it wasn't much of a fair fight. Despite being outnumbered two-to-one, it was the boys who were in worse shape, although the girl had cuts and bruises on her.

"Hanako, why did you start the fight?" One matron asked the little girl sternly.

"He took my book without asking me. When I asked for it, he didn't return it. So, I punched him," came the reply as she pointed to the leader, her voice still polite and firm.

"Still, that is no way..."

"I hate him." The way the girl said the word 'hate' made Hanako tremble. It was without malice, almost matter-of-factly. In other words, something which could not have came out from her mouth, not even in the present, let alone during her days in the orphanage.

Suddenly, the girl turned her head, and her gaze fell on Hanako. Hanako screamed. There was no sound.

"Whoever bullies me, I hate him."

The matron sighed. She was not looking at where the little girl was staring.

"Come. Let's get you cleaned up. We shall deal with this behaviour later."

As the small crowd dispersed, it dawned upon Hanako why she wasn't hiding from other people's attention: No one came up to her to ask her anything. No one seemed to notice her. Except the little girl. Her piercing gaze was on Hanako. Hanako could feel it, even though the girl disappeared from her view.

"How did that feel, seeing as how you could have stood up for yourself?" It was her voice, but it was not coming from her. It was booming, with just a hint of malice.

"N-n-n-no.... th-h-h-at w-w-a-s n-o-o-t m-e." Hanako knew that she had not stammered this badly in a long time. The reply, was a bout of mad laughter. It sounded as if it came from her if she had gone crazy, which she felt was no longer far from the truth.

"Bet you knew long ago that your scars protect you from some physical pain."

The ground opened from beneath her. She dropped like a brick, screaming all the way.

Fortunately, the fall was not too long. She landed in a classroom of sorts. As she straightened herself, she thought back to that last line. It was true: her burns were so severe that the nerve receptors for pain had been destroyed. She checked out her surroundings.

She was in her classroom, back in her second year at Yamaku. She looked around her. Her then-classmates were sitting all around her, but no one noticed this girl who had literally dropped into class.

She saw herself, or at least what she thought was herself. This girl was sitting right at the front of the classroom. For one, she had Hanako's hair. Hanako dashed to the front of the classroom to have a better look.

The girl was her. But, she was wearing Yamaku's uniform for boys. Her long hair fell behind her ears. She wore a white half-mask which covered the right half of her face. On her right hand, she wore a white glove. As such, only her neck showed any signs of scarring. In spite of herself, Hanako thought that the girl looked pretty cool.

The bell rang. It was lunch time. As the teacher gave his instructions for the next lesson, the boy sitting behind 'Hanako' whispered.

"Say, Hanako, why don't we have lunch together later?"

"No problem." 'Hanako's' voice was smooth, elegant, with just a tinge of arrogance in it. Who is this girl, thought Hanako.

"No fair! Hanako, you promised lunch with US." The lady next to her blurted out. The lady's clique stood up in response as well. Thankfully, the teacher had already left the room.'Hanako' mock slapped her forehead.

"Of course! I know I forgot something." Then, unknown to the spectators, she flashed a sly grin. Hanako gasped. This was totally, totally not her.

"But, there is only one of me, and two groups. Unless you guys can sit together..."

"No way!" It was the boy's clique who stood up now. As the two groups glared at each other, 'Hanako' sighed.

"I'll head to the cafeteria first..." She rose to her feet.

She smiled at Hanako.

At that instant, Hanako realised that time had frozen for everyone, except for her and her doppelganger. 'Hanako' walked on until the two girls were face-to-face. As the world around them remained in mid-motion, the two sized up one another.

That taunting look in the eyes, the half-smile that was almost a sneer.... Hanako couldn't take it anymore.

"Who are you?!" Mustering all her courage and anger, she shouted as loudly as her lungs would allow her to.

"Who am I, you ask?" Unfazed by the shout, 'Hanako's' left hand reached to fling hair to behind Hanako's right ear, exposing the right side of her face. Rooted to the ground, Hanako was beyond terrified now.

"I am you. But, you... are definitely not me." Turning away from Hanako, her doppelganger cackled. Hanako could only stare on.

"I am you, if only you could treat people like puppets, controlling their opinion of you, playing them against one another..."

"But, you don't have any friends!" Hanako was determined to win this argument. The reply was a hollow laugh.

"Who needs friends? You have lost everything as it is, Hanako Ikezawa! Your parents are dead, and you are not even living. Only existing. I, on the other hand, know exactly what I want, and how to get it." The retort was smooth as silk, calculated in every way to extract the most pain out of Hanako's tortured husk. In one statement, Hanako's determination was crushed.

"I-I-I have Lily..." Her voice was now barely above a whisper.

"Lily? Do you really think she sees you as a friend? She treats you like a sick puppy, to be nurtured and strapped to a leash so that she can walk you around!"

"Lily is not..." It was then that Hanako realised that strings hanging from the classroom ceiling had attached themselves to various parts of her body. These look like...

Another sly laugh.

"I would like to stop lecturing you like this, but it's too fun to see a pathetic girl like you being miserable!" As if on cue, the strings started tugging at Hanako's body in various ways.

"Hanako Ikezawa, the only thing more pathetic than a puppet is a puppet who doesn't know who her puppeteer is!" Hanako struggled to regain control of her body.

"I'm not a puppet! I'm not a puppet! I...."

Hanako opened her eyes. The bare ceiling of her dormitory room stared back down at her. Sitting up in bed, she checked herself. She was drenched in sweat. Other than that, she was...

Fine? Oh no, tonight's nightmare had left her mind in a blank. Trembling as if she was stark naked in the middle of a Siberian winter, Hanako hugged her pillow tightly in her chest, in an attempt to comfort herself. The tears which flowed down her cheeks simply wouldn't stop.

"Mama... Papa..." Hanako closed her eyes tightly. She knew that no matter how hard she cried, they would never return to her side. Her thoughts darted from them, to Lily, to......

Nothing.

Hanako's only response, was a whimper.

[LegyPlegy]

Pretty dark, yet well written. I'd clap for you, but these feels are getting in the way..

[YZQ]

Thanks for the read. I felt a bit like a jerk when I wrote Hanako's piece. Not really sure if I can go ahead with the other girls. But yeah, sometimes, I do wish Hanako did stand up for herself back when she was bullied. I have some minor bullying issues back in middle school. Though it sounded cruel, it did work to bully the bully with others, and cruelty is something Hanako would never do.

[Guest Poster]

You have to remember that the story takes place in Japan and in Japanese culture, there's a mindset that people who are bullied because they stand out should try harder to stand out less and comform to the group more. Not a lot of sympathy for the victims. It also explains why even teachers never stood up for Hanako. And yeah, it's a bit messed up from a westerner's point of view. It's a nasty side-effect of Japan's community-based culture.

[YZQ]

You have to remember that the story takes place in Japan and in Japanese culture, there's a mindset that people who are bullied because they stand out should try harder to stand out less and comform to the group more. Not a lot of sympathy for the victims. It also explains why even teachers never stood up for Hanako. And yeah, it's a bit messed up from a westerner's point of view. It's a nasty side-effect of Japan's community-based culture.

Aye. Bullying is still a large and largely unreported problem in Japan. But Hanako turning to hatred instead of despair in order to cope: Pretty nightmarish.

[emmjay]

You have to remember that the story takes place in Japan and in Japanese culture, there's a mindset that people who are bullied because they stand out should try harder to stand out less and comform to the group more. Not a lot of sympathy for the victims. It also explains why even teachers never stood up for Hanako. And yeah, it's a bit messed up from a westerner's point of view. It's a nasty side-effect of Japan's community-based culture.

Yeah. Western culture may tend more towards the squeaky wheel getting the grease, but in Japan, more often than not, the nail that sticks up gets pounded down.
Anyway, as regarding the fic: Wow. Pretty powerful. Kudos for the title, very apropos. As repulsed as Hanako is by what Not-Hanako was saying and doing, I can't help but think that Hanako wishes she could be half as self-confident and assured, and that deep down, Hanako agrees with some of the things Not-Hanako is saying to her, which, ironically enough, is why she denies them so fervently.
Final note: I couldn't help but be reminded of this picture when reading the description of Not-Hanako in the second part of the dream.

[Dream]

Really good fan-fic. Very well made and brings the reader to an interesting "what if" or alternate scenario of sorts, as well as a nice study of Hanako. Also, i think you get the surreal nature of dreams/nightmares very well. Hanako of the Opera was certainly an appealing character and a good foil to Hanako, and i admit it would be nice to see more of her someday.

Hope you decide to continue with this for the other girls, very interested to see what you come up with, specially in Emi's case.

[YZQ]

I liked that Photoshopping of the mask. Of course, the alter ego's expression will be different, along with her dress sense.

It is significantly harder to "scare" the other girls. For one, I find it very hard to characterise Rin (although I suspect only she can truly scare herself). Emi is hard to get any reaction more than a slight tremble. I can probably highlight their innermost fears, but to get a "scared" reaction will be hard at best.

[Oddball]

Interesting. Very different than the style we normally see around here, but it works in this case.

[YZQ]

Ok, this one's on Shizune. Not scary at all, and I do feel that it's a lot weaker. Again, do comment.




Shizune opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was the frames of her glasses.

“I must be in my dream,” she thought. She was sure that she had hopped into bed less than five minutes ago. Oh well, it was a tired day, and she was glad that she had fallen asleep so quickly. That, and that she was also fully clothed for this dream. She giggled silently at those ... alternative dreamlands.

She looked around her. She was in the compund of Yamaku. She sighed with a smile. Seemed like school matters just had to pop up in her dreams. She saw someone walking towards her. As the girl came closer, Shizune's smile turned into a frown.

The stranger looked like her in every way, except for the lack of glasses. Both of them were in Yamaku's uniforms. She appeared calm enough for someone who saw a lookalike in front of her, thought Shizune.

[Who are you?] signed Shizune. In dreams, anything can happen, but she certainly still can't talk.

{I am you, that's who I am.} came the reply, also in sign language. Shizune's frown turned into a confused smile.

[I may be dreaming, but there can't be two of me.]

{Let me explain.} The surroundings changed in an instant. The two girls found themselves inside an oddly familiar room.

[This is my room, right?] The confused smile remained on Shizune's lips. It disappeared when she saw who else was with them.

It was her, together with another woman. From appearances, Shizune figured that this was her when she was about six or seven. She then looked hard at the woman.

[Isn't this.....]

{Yeah, she's... our ... tutor.} Shizune 's frown returned as she remembered those days. Of her father shouting at her after almost every lesson, as she had refused to co-operate with her tutors. Every single one of them.

As if ignoring the presence of the two intruders, the young Shizune was attentive at her lesson.

[Your tutor, you mean. I personally never find them useful.]

{Shizune, how well can you lip-read?} The sudden change of topic threw her off balance.

[Well enough.] Her alter-ego shook her head.

{Liar.} Her alter ego frowned slightly as she signed.

{You know that Father hired tutors to try to get you to speak, and you could. You merely chose not to.}

[So what if I did? If I can't speak well, I might as well remain silent. Don't tell me you can speak well enough for people not to cringe at your every word?] The anger was rising inside Shizune, but for now, her signing was stil not too violent.

{By doing so, you closed off your mind to a useful skill.} Her alter ego chose to dodge the question aimed at her.

A change of environment. The pair were now back at Yamaku, right at the back of the Student Council Room. Shizune assessed the situation.

[This was the day I took over as President.]

{Yes, it was. Remember how many people there were back then?} The room they were in was almost full. Shizune saw that she (without glasses) was about to give a “speech” at the front of the room. A laptop and projector was already set up. To her surprise...

[Where's Misha?]

{She's seated at the first row, with Lily.}

[Wait. How...]

{Watch.}

As the meeting began, it became clear to Shizune how “she” delivered “her” speech. The rapid-fire typing was impressive, she thought. At the Q & A, she observed how “she” took questions. A council member would raise a hand, “she” gave the go-ahead, and stared on as the member spoke.

[Lip-reading.... You're that good?] It was a back-handed compliment, but Shizune was beginning to have doubts about her own wisdom of ignoring her childhood lessons.

{I never gave up trying. It wasn't easy, trust me.} The alter ego shuddered as she signed her reply.

Shizune then noted the questions that were brought out. Questions which she herself never truly answered (which led to the exodus of her members). Questions of doubt and purpose. “Shizune” thought for a while, before she began typing away.

(Fellows, I know that we are going into unknown territory. The Student Council had never done this before, and I too share your doubts. But, I want you to share in this dream of mine. All of us want to have good memories of our days at Yamaku. All I ask is that you join me in making such memories.)

[Since when have I doubted myself?]

{Shizune, people don't have to know that. They want to be understood, and that was what I gave them.} As if on cue, the rest of the council was clapping away, some politely, others with gusto, especially Misha.

[So, you managed to convince them. What's next?]

{Convincing the clubs and societies to fall in with us.}

Same room, different people. Well, at least Misha and Lily were with “her”. Shizune could see the heads and deputies of the various clubs seated where the council was in the last scene.

[I think we can skip the rousing speech and stuff. I'm getting kinda sick of it.]

{Jealous?} Was that a wink in her eyes, thought Shizune.

[Very funny.]

{Basically, I set one condition: the Student Council will have a hand in every event which any club wishes to put up. If the Council botches it, the club will regain control, and the council will never again have a right to interfere with the club.}

[That's an impressive bet.]

{Which leads to my next task: getting more people into the Council.}

They were now in the library. Shizune saw “herself” sneaking up towards a girl.

[Hanako Ikezawa? Are you serious?] Shizune signed as Hanako looked up. Just as expected, her eyes widened and she looked ready to bolt.

“Shizune” quickly whippped out a sketch pad and flashed a page. Hanako calmed down, somewhat.

[What did you write there?]

{Do not be afraid. I'm your friendly deaf-mute class representative.}

[Friendly? Yeah, right.]

{Anyway, that did calm her down.} “Shizune” then flipped the page.

{I need your help. If you want, you can text into your cellphone and show me the text.} And that was what Hanako did.

[How did that go?]

{Surprisingly well. Hanako is extremely shy, so I had to promise her not to let anyone know that she's in the council. She reports to me and only me, and she can skip the meetings. In exchange, I told her that I expect no errors from her contributions.}

[Didn't know that she can be useful in that way.]

{It seemed as if she was waiting for someone to present her the opportunity. I swear she can write one hell of a report. Gathering data off the Internet, turning the library upside down for research.... As long as it's not dealing with people, she had it nailed.}

[So, what else are you going to show me?] They returned to Shizune's dorm room.

{Shizune, my point is that you can touch many people's lives, if you chose to.}

[Thanks, but I think I can sort out my own life. How do I wake up?]

{Why are you avoiding the issues, Shizune?} The concerned look on “her” face sparked Shizune off.

[Because I know I have problems!!] “Shizune” could tell that the proud girl in front of her was trying hard not to cry as she continued signing.

[I know that I do not have friends! I know that I am pushing away people who want to befriend me! I know that I am a stubborn bitch! I just don’t know how to tone it down!]

{...I will not advise you on that. Just remember: you do not have to like something in order to do it. To do the same things over and over again and expect different results is insane. Also, you're not a bitch.} “Shizune” chose her words carefully.

[...Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind, Einstein.] Both girls smiled. That eased the tension, somewhat.

[How do I wake up?] Shizune signed the question again.

Her alter ego was a little sad as she pointed to the door. Without looking back, Shizune walked up to it and ....

She opened her eyes. She was now awake and in bed. Sitting up, she shook her head.

“As Akira would say, I need a damn drink.”

[Oddball]

You use quotation marks instead of brackets for the last line. Either Shizune being able to talk is an error or one hell of a cliff hanger.


As for being weaker than the Hanako chapter, I think I see the problem.

Shizune was presented with a version of herself that was just better at everything she did. The message seemed to be that if she swallowed her pride just a little bit more, she would have been more liked and accomplished so much more.

Hanako on the other hand was faced with a version of herself that she straight up didn't like BUT had managed to be more accepted and outgoing.

[YZQ]

She's thinking to herself, so I don't use the signing symbols.

[emmjay]

As for being weaker than the Hanako chapter, I think I see the problem.

Shizune was presented with a version of herself that was just better at everything she did. The message seemed to be that if she swallowed her pride just a little bit more, she would have been more liked and accomplished so much more.

Hanako on the other hand was faced with a version of herself that she straight up didn't like BUT had managed to be more accepted and outgoing.

I have to agree. Hanako seemed to have be genuinely uncomfortable with the things Not-Hanako was saying and doing. Shizune just seemed to be acting stubborn for no real reason. Granted, Shizune and stubbornness go together like Misha and loud.
Props for using the different style brackets, though. Makes it easy to tell who's "talking."
Looking forward to Lilly's, should be interesting to get into the dreams of someone who can't see.

[YZQ]

Inserted something extra into Shizune's story. It's not much, but hopefully, it made it better.

[Carighan]

The only thing I could think about much with this thread is the Persona games:
Admit it! It is what you always wanted, after all!
No! That's not true! You! Are! Not! Me!
... transformation happens ...
I am a shadow... the true self...

Damn that game could be haunting at times. I remember genuinely sitting there with my mouth open at Naoto's Shadow's revelation.

(edit)
Also, I didn't read the first version of Shizune's part, but I can see how this can be terrifying for her. If she ends up doubting her past choices, given how she cannot truly connect to people, that'd be crushing for her. It'd be a creeping thing undermining her through her nightmares, but for someone who bases their entire behaviour on a mountain of confidence, slowly eroding that is far more painful than ripping it out in one go.
I especially like how her shadow is the nice one.