I have read most of the stories posted here. And, I have to say, there are a lot of really good writers here. But, one that stuck with me was the Numbered Days series Leotrak did. Which basically told the story from a viewpoint of "What if the characters were aware of the story". I felt I had to tell this story. The "what if Katawa Shoujo" were based on a real life?".
As usual, feedback, criticism, comments, thoughts are appreiciated.
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Prologue
Why now?
That's the question my friends and family will ask when I tell them I am writing this.
And that is the question, isn't it? Why now? Why didn't I write this sooner? And why write it at all?
Those are questions I have been asking myself for a while now. I don't know when I started thinking about putting my life down on paper. I don't even remember the last time I wrote something besides a paper for school. I have always been an avid reader, everything from massive science fiction series spanning 10 novels, to the ingredient list on a pack of ramen. Recently I started to realize, I was always reading someone else's story. Someone else's thoughts. Someone else's imagination. And I finally came to a conclusion. I wanted to tell MY story, MY thoughts, MY feelings.
I know, as reasons go, it's not an earthshattering one. But, to me, it is the only reason to write. Not to become rich or famous, not to change minds, not to entertain. For me, writing my life is to ensure that my family, friends and friends families, know what an ordinary life I have lived. Now, I don't mean that in a bad way. I am not a hero, I am not a saint, nor am I a household name. I am just a man. One who spent his life looking for something, but never knowing exactly what I was looking for. Until I found it.
What is it I found? That's something you will have to read to find out. Just as I had no inkling of what it was I was looking for until I found it, you (the reader) will have to follow along the path of my life, just as I lived it, to find out what IT was.
Now for the final question.......Why now? That is an easier one to answer. But the answer deals with an issue I used to be reluctant to discuss. It took a small group of people to get me to open up about this issue. Thanks to them, and one in particular, I am now comfortable with tell you I have Arrhythmia.
For those that do not know, that means I have a heart that forgets sometimes. It forgets to beat, or forgets how fast it is supposed to beat. It also means that I have to be careful with my chest and my emotions, as either a sharp physical or emotional shock will set off my condition. However, with the help of medicines, exercise, diet, and the love of my family and friends, I thought I had finally come to terms with my heart. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
Recently, my body would tire out easier than it used to. And my condition would flare up a little more ofter. Putting it down to my being older, I didn't think too much of it. But, after an incident in the park last year, I had a complete series of tests run to find out what was wrong. It turns out that one of the medications I had been taking for my heart (a newer one, as my meds were being changed every few years as medical science improved) had a side effect not known at the time. It regulated, somewhat, my heartbeat. But, not known until last year, a side effect of this medication was to weaken the heart muscle itself. Yes, I know I could apply for a heart transplant. And with the life I led, I could afford it. But, after talking it over with the only person who meant more to me than life itself, we decided against it. Why? That is the question, isn't it? Put simply, we had long ago accepted that, instead of trying to live a long life, we would live a good one. And, it has been a good one.
Most people believe their life starts when they are born. And for most, that is true. For me, however, I believe my life started that nervous day in the snow. I had lived like any other person my age up to that point, playing with friends, loving my parents, getting into mischief as only a teenager can. On that day however..... Let me ask you, the reader, a question. Have you ever had a day that you want to remember the rest of your life? That you always want to cherish? That was this day for me. Of course, it took me a long while to come to that realization. And only then, because of who I was with. Because of this day, the day I will always remember, I started a new life.
Now, some of you are probably familiar with some of this story, due to the enormously popular Visual Novel that was released a long time ago. I can say that it was a very good representation of what happened after that day. Were some liberties taken? Yes, but the developers of the novel worked with me and my friends to ensure that the issues we faced were portrayed in a heartfelt and realistic manner.
I have always felt that the way the novel was written actually let others know what we (or really, anyone with disabilities) go through on a day to day basis, and I am very grateful for the writers and developers for that. Not a year goes by now that I don't send them a thank you for their successful and very emotional work.
But, at the end, I feel it is time to tell the real story of my life. And the lives of my friends. Now, since most of you are familiar with the novel, I will keep the same names that were used. After all this time, I think that using those names (instead of our real ones) will bring a sense of closure to us all.
So, back to that question. What was it I was looking for, that long ago? That is why I am writing this.. To lead you, the reader, on my journey, to find what I was missing, and the people who helped me realize what it was I was looking for.
This is that story.