Katawa Shoujo Forums

Thanks a lot for the kind words, guys! Made my day. This all turned out much better than I thought I could have reasonably hoped for.

Yes, I could have stated the prompt as "write a story about taking personal initiative." That would have meant almost exactly the same thing, and it would have made your job easier. Prof wanted to send you a briefing, but I specifically requested that she give you no help whatsoever unless you directly asked for it. Auftragstaktik, as a concept, is about trusting the initiative of those you have issued orders to. It means being minimal with specifics, and letting people read your intent and exercise their own creativity in how best to fulfill it.

You specifically asked that I not be given any unprompted help? That's hilarious I can get why you might have wanted to do that though, there's no easy answer for how you'd apply that concept to this context. I suppose seeing how I'd mediate that's all part of the fun. For my part, I might have leaned overly much into the whole military/chain of command thing, and Kenji's delusions seemed my best hope of making that work. I can see how the student council might have been the other obvious pick, especially if I took the prompt a little less literally. Shizune can be a bit pushy at times, but she already gets a bad rap. She's no military commander.

I'm glad you brought Shizune into the story, as that was exactly what I was hoping for. Shizune's agony is that she wears the face and attitude of an autocrat, but wishes for others to take initiative. She's always pushing, and always lonely. She's trying her damned hardest to get people to care about the council and for her own boyfriend to make love to her, but she has to berate people or tie them down to get them to do a thing. But the face of the seemingly uninterpretable, it is possible to choose love and service, and to generate the correct meaning from vague signals.

Admittedly it sounds like you have a much better understanding of her character than I do . I read through a bunch of scenes from her route in an attempt to represent her well, but you point out details here that I wasn't specifically trying to account for, yet make sense to me. If what research I did was enough to represent her well in this short scene, then I'm happy. I'll do my best to capture her true spirit in any future occasions I may write with her, as well.

He's a soldier who displays excessive initiative, without sane orders or guidance. Here, too, Hisao takes initiative and control over an dynamic situation, interpreting the needs of his command wisely. Kenji, I imagine, is a deeply lonely soul. I appreciate how Hisao appreciated his humanity.

I'm with you on that one. It is easy (and often fun) to treat him like a meme, but at the end of the day he's still human. Besides, I think humor usually goes over better when it's grounded in reality anyway.

If you don't mind me asking, how was the process of interpreting and researching the prompt? What was the timeline of events like?

Nothing too special, really. I was amused, surprised, and slightly panicked when I first got the prompt, but I had already decided I was doing this one on my own. Then, I pretty much just spent 20-30 minutes reading up on the internet until I felt comfortable I had a decent understanding of the basic concept. I already had a working idea of where I wanted to take the story and it was going to be a short one anyway, so that seemed sufficient. I spent more time than that on learning more about Kenji and Shizune (and how Hisao might have been influenced by a lot of time around Shizune) so I could do my best to represent them well.

Today I am proud to be a Canadian. Thank you for your representation of our great nation and our spirit to endure against all inanity. It is a long cultivated gift, brought by our geopolitical position. The world is a mad place, but it can be beautiful. You are truly wonderful, and I couldn't ask any more. God bless.

I shall never forget your words, honored fellow Canadian.

the Shizune part almost made me to like the character, and the Kenji part was so humane for Kenji it was almost uncanny. Really good job.

Thanks, happy to hear it! Admittedly I also find myself preferring the other girls a lot of the time, but I still love Shizune. None of the routes are perfect, but they're all special to me. As for Kenji, you might be surprised how much humanity is there if you look for it.

Auftragstaktik very good. Enjoyed. Especially Kenji.

Thanks! Happy to hear praise from someone whose works I've enjoyed over the years myself.

brythain wrote: ↑Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:58 am That's a lovely story. So they went over the sea to Skye, eh?

Aye, where the Sea meets the Skye I think Bry old boy.

I can only echo Britain's sentiment, that is indeed a lovely story Scramblers. It reminds me why I reached out to you in the first place, your mastery is superb - one can feel every sentence inside themselves. I really mean it, your prose is jaw-droopingly beautiful. I in particular LOVED Akira's flashback to the office drones joking, it is as though you write the feeling I so desperately wish I could explain. Nostalgia doesn't do it justice.

I'm rambling, but I really adored that tale. Wonderful.

(Lap recommended I read it, and what a recommendation it was!)

ProfAllister wrote:Reading your annual Secret Santa pieces really makes me wish they weren't the only fics you've written here in ages...

As I've said before the most problematic step for me is always coming up with an idea, and this helps me skip that step. If there are any stories left open - and so far there seem to be quite many - I can take up maybe one or two more, but personally I don't consider myself nearly as good a writer as many others here...

As for the other stories written so far:
Twain - Short and bittersweet.

Dear Hisao - I remember the beautiful picture from the "original" request, and I was wondering while reading the story whether it might have been the inspiration for this story. I'll see if I can still find Fink's email somewhere to point him to that story - if it even still works...

Simpathy for the Devil - This is one prompt I'm glad I didn't get, since I would have been at a total loss as to what to make of it... Well ewwritten, though.

To be Chilled and to be Warm - Nice bit of bromance

Auftragstaktik - Okay, I'm German, and I had to look that word up, because I never heard it before. Literal meaning would be a bit of tactics that someone has been ordered to come up with, so I guess it makes sense in a way. I also would have thought of Kenji first with that prompt, though once they got to the student council room I expected them to unpack the Risk game with Hisao selling it to Kenji as a secret feminist tactics training tool.

Still - Thank you for not going with Karla. That would have been weird. Fitting that the prompt came from Maosh. I think I spotted some nods to his Akira story in there - not sure if intentional or otherwise.

Let it Snow - Thanks for the diabetes warning. I always love it when some little-used characters get some... well love.

and of course Rising Steam
Thank you very much for this story! Of course I'm biased, because it was written for me, but it was all I hoped for and more*, and it's the one I liked most of all the submissions so far. It resonated a lot, probably because it picked up similar themes as Catharsis - and with a happy ending at that!

There are several reasons why I chose this prompt:
First, I gave out a similar prompt for a previous Secret Santa, but that one was never completely finished, so I wanted to give it another go in slightly more open version. I'm glad I did.
Second, I almost always specify non-main characters for Secret Santas to get more variation, since otherwise 80% of all stories will feature only main characters. The "three or more" was just a bit of an added challenge.
Third, I did specify "people" and "NPCs" instead of students because I wanted to leave open the option of using faculty members. I didn't want to specify faculty members and I didn't even really expect anyone to pick up on the distinction, so I was pleasantly surprised to find you had managed to put Yuuko into the story

Also I would be interested in what your first two rejected ideas were.

*I swear I only noticed your introductory post (and it's almost identical wording) after I wrote this. I took the liberty to change the link in the index to that post instead.

Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 1:54 pmThank you very much for this story! Of course I'm biased, because it was written for me, but it was all I hoped for and more*, and it's the one I liked most of all the submissions so far.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I got rather worried about it partway through writing, but it seems like overall, people thought it was good. In fact, I used the phrase "everything you wanted and more" specifically to allude to the fact that it felt like it might be going off the rails a bit, and so it might contain everything you wanted, and then more that you didn't! I do think your prompt was good, just that I probably had more trouble with it than the average writer here.

Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 1:54 pmIt resonated a lot, probably because it picked up similar themes as Catharsis - and with a happy ending at that!

I'll admit to never having read Catharsis, as far as I can remember - I'll have to give it a look. But yeah, it's rare that I write a story without a happy ending - Feurox and I are constantly at war with each other over it :P

Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 1:54 pmI took the liberty to change the link in the index to that post instead.

Thanks! I'd never gotten around to using the "start" url format (despite having seen it used in Sisterhood), so you've helped me jumpstart that a bit.

Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Sun Jan 03, 2021 1:54 pmAlso I would be interested in what your first two rejected ideas were.

1. Akira drives her boyfriend out to the vacation house in Hokkaido, hoping to spend a week relaxing alone with him. Once they arrive, they realize that Hideaki was asleep in the back seat the whole time. (I ended up dropping this one because none of those characters are actually "from Yamaku".)
2. A silly NSFW idea. Basically, a similar setup to what I actually ended up writing, except that Rika and Saki consider their reduced lifespans to be excuses to embrace hedonism. It's not Saki's rich uncle who gets them those rooms - rather, a collection of internet sponsors rent out the place in order to meet up with the young women after dark. This promiscuity is poorly-hidden from Natsume and Naomi, who end up having a difficult conversation with them about it, and who themselves have different opinions on the matter. It would've been very ironically bad.

I'll admit to never having read Catharsis, as far as I can remember - I'll have to give it a look. But yeah, it's rare that I write a story without a happy ending - Feurox and I are constantly at war with each other over it

I'm strongly on your side on this one
Almost all of my stories have a happy end of some sort - with one notable exception...

I know I'm late. Sorry I'm late. Was given too good of a prompt and wound up overwriting it. After I realized I was going overboard, I cut it down to size.

Victim: FrauPerchta (Insanna)

Prompt: Hisao wakes up the day of Iwanako's confession after experiencing the entirety of a route, if not longer (your choice), with full memory of what has or will happen. What does he do?



Running through an airport. Or in a field of dandelions. Was I in front of a bakery? Maybe in the afterglow of a night of passion? Falling off the roof? Celebrating graduation?
Damn, why is my head so fuzzy?
The beeping comes to me first. Did I mess up and land back in the nurses office? No, the smell is wrong. The old musty smell of a brick office is missing. Instead the old anesthetic of a hospital.
It takes several minutes for my eyes to start working, and even then it's too bright. The room feels familiar, like a memory I'd tried to forget.
I try and remember yesterday, and the answer I get back is almost multiple choice. A girl sitting on some steps, another girl yelling in my face, watching yet someone else walking away in the rain. Nothing makes sense.
Then the itchiness along my sternum draws my attention. Running my hand up, I find bandages under the hospital gown, rather than the scar tissue I'd grown accustomed to. Surgery, again?
An organic sound, barely audible over the machinery, finally pulls my eyes over, and the sight is absolutely impossible.
"I-iwanako?" I get out, my throat dry.
Silently, the girl sits there, her eyes never moving from some spot on the floor. If not for a slight flinch, I'd think she didn't hear me.
Letting my eyes wander, the room finally becomes familiar.
"Back… here?" I say quietly, recognizing the room as the one I was trapped in for months, before everything… which things?
Tea time with a blind girl, chess with a wallflower, running, working on art, sign language with…
For a moment, I try out some signs, remembering them in detail. But then again, was it just a dream?
"What day is it?" I finally ask.
"S-saturday. You had… I asked you… yesterday…" the timid girl next to me stammers out before bolting out of her seat. "I'll go get a nurse…"
Grabbing her hand, I stop her from leaving. "Yesterday? You, in the snow, that was yesterday?"
Not looking at me, she hangs her head and gives a slight nod.
"Wow," I get out, letting her go. "Um… Iwa… y-you can stay. I mean, I'd like you to stay."
She hesitates, clearly unsure, before sitting down again, returning to her previous state.
Yesterday?
Was… everything some kind of messed up dream?
A squeaky voiced kid hiding behind cokebottle glasses pops into my mind, with conspiracy and money owed.
The very thought made me break out laughing, causing the timid girl next to me to nearly jump out of her seat.
Finally looking at me, Iwanako's shocked expression only makes me laugh harder. After a few seconds, she stands back up again, saying, "Nurse, right…"
Grabbing her hand again, I stop her from leaving. "No no, I'm fine, it's just… I'm alive. It was a heart attack, wasn't it?"
Unable to speak, the girl just nods, her eyes wide as saucers as she tries to understand what she's looking at.
Then the memory of that room, the room I am now inside again, hits me. The months of solitude, of depression… and then recovery. The knowledge that my life isn't over sinks in, with those fragmented, contradicting memories.
"The nurse will be here soon anyways to check on me, so no need to rush off. I think I need to tell you something, and it's best I get it over with, so please?" I tell the girl whose been next to me for I don't know how long.
Not sitting down, she just turns to face me, clutching her hands awkwardly in front of her.
"What happened, happened. It changes things, okay? Whatever you were about to ask, I understand if this changes it. If this changes things, I understand. Feel free to walk out, no hard feeling, okay?"
Biting her lip, she considers, looking at the door, then at me. Calming herself down, she asks, "Is that what you want?"
"No, but I'm not going to guilt you either. This wasn't your fault," I try and convince her. "It happened, and we have to move forward, alright?"
A flash of red hair, sad eyes, standing there in the rain comes to mind.
"And if I don't want to walk out?"
Surprised, I am lost for words for a moment, before saying, "Then feel free to ask. I'm right here. I can guarantee I'm not going anywhere for awhile."
Memory of romance, heartbreak, and being an idiot, all surge forward.
Behind her eyes, a clear debate wages, before a decision is made. "Hisao, You see... ...I wanted to know... ...if you'd go out with me...”
I expected her to run away. To be mad at me, or be afraid. Instead, I see the resolution in those eyes. While my heart's all a mess, there is one point of certainty. She's waited for me. For her, a day. For me, a lifetime it feels like. A chance to start over, before… what I'm not certain.
"Sure, I'd like that," I tell her.
…
My memory of solitude is rapidly replaced as friends come to visit. Instead of lonely days by myself with a silent figure who eventually leaves, every day is occupied.
And always there, the girl at the beginning. It takes her a bit to relax, but she eventually does. By the end of the week, a major shift happens.
"Hisao," the doctor tells me. "Going forward we have a few options. Your heart attack exposed an underlying condition, called cardiomyopathy, and caused another issue, a long-qt arrhythmia. We have several options here, from medication to more surgery. Normally, this would be up to your parents, but your father has given me permission to discuss treatments with you."
"But, why?" I ask, confused. This didn't happen before.
The doctor shrugs. "He said something about you being energetic enough to be able to make the decision."
Stunned, I listen to the options. In the end, I elect for the surgery, to install a pacemaker. It will require regular checkups, but I will not need to undergo the pile of drugs I remember from that strange dream or vision after my heart attack.
I also tell Iwanako of it, leaving out the rather embarrassing details and the girls themselves. She checked and discovered that Yamaku is a real school. I guess I'd heard of it somewhere, and filled it into my dream.
By March, my parents arrive, telling me it is time to leave. The whole concept feels weird. No new school, no moving to Sendai, a triumphant return to my old classmates, a girl at my side. Yet, it all feels so surreal at the same time.
High school romances end as they ever do, due to immaturity and inexperience. In our case, Iwanako and I made it halfway through out first year at University before we drifted apart. I suppose it should be expected.
Graduating with a degree in science and my teaching certification, combined with sign language, job hunting was still tough. Few schools nearby needed anyone. On a whim I checked with my university advisor, and had a familiar name appear on my desk.
And so…
…
"Mr. Nakai, glad you could make it. I know it's unusual attending a Christmas party before you start working somewhere, but I figured this would be a good chance to meet your new co-workers," the principal tells me as he guides me into the meeting room it was being held in.
"I understand, Mr. Katayama," I tell him as he proceeds to glance around the room.
Oddly, only two teachers' faces from my dream ever were clear, and neither of them I see in the room. Well, it was just a dream, so what am I expecting.
Being introduced as the "new 1st year science teacher," is certainly exhausting. Within an hour I find myself outside in the hallway, catching my breath.
It takes a few moments to realize I'm not alone. When I glance over, I find myself lost in a pair of blue eyes behind sharp glasses. Without realizing it, I sign out, "[Hello.]"
The blue haired girl blinks in surprise, before a sharp smile sets in, signing back, "[And hello to you too. Are you new here?]"
"[I start next semester,]" I tell her, still in disbelief. "[And you?]"
She smirks a bit. "[Here for a friend, her plus one. We both went to school here, and she thought to drag me along.]"
"[It's good to have friends like that,]" I sign back. "[I'm Hiao Nakai.]"
My heartbeat starts to skyrocket as I read her reply.
"[Shizume Hakamichi.]"
In the corner of my eye, a vaguely familiar pair of golden eyes, framed by brown hair, appears in the doorway before vanishing moments later.
In a moment of clarity, the dream comes crashing down on me.
"[Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost,]" Shizune says, her features shifting to concern.
I shrug it off. "[Just, something familiar. Hey, want to go do something?]"
"[Oh, and what do you want to do?]" A flash of curiosity strikes her eyes as she looks at me over the rims of those oh so familiar glasses
I consider a moment, and an idea strikes.
"[Know where we could find a game of Risk?]"

Wow, that was one heck of a prompt. I can definitely see how one could be tempted to "overwrite" it.
The final product is very concise. The story was short, but it didn't feel as if it was missing anything. You could even have left out the last part, but it fits in very well.
Just bad luck that the one he had to run into was Shizune...

At last, my Secret Santa submission is up!

It's been a long, difficult journey writing this piece. I've been actively working on this piece since early December of last year, and at times I just wished that I could be done and get it to my victim sooner. Despite that, the entire process has been a labor of love. I was given a great prompt, and although I took it in a direction that my victim may not have been expecting, I hope that I did it justice. At the very least, I had an absolute blast writing this piece.

There are a few things I'd like to mention. First off, I've opted to hold off on revealing my victim until the end of my story. I think it's more fun that way. Second, I've decided to post the story up in my own one-off collection. The story is a long five-parter totaling around 11,500 words, so I thought that posting the story over in my thread would prevent it from clogging up this one.

Finally, I'd like to apologize for how obviously late my submission is. When I outlined my story, I grossly underestimated the total word count and scope of the story that I was attempting. I ultimately decided that I would rather turn my story in late rather than half-baked. I hope you can understand (and forgive) my decision.

Without further ado, please enjoy Cats and Dogs, Snowflakes and Stars!

https://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52& ... 23#p246719

I can certainly understand why that took so long Chatty, it had quite the ambitious premise for a short story format with assigned prompts! I'm sure we don't mind the lateness one bit, I'm just glad another of these actually got done.

It was a very nice read, too. Interactions between Lilly and Rin come with plenty of opportunity for comedy, and you delivered on that. I certainly didn't expect some of the more dramatic twists, though. I think I'm at the point where I've incorporated some other fanfics so deeply into my headcannon that I need to seriously readjust myself when someone tries something new

It was heartwarming to see the two girls come to an understanding. It's a harsh clash of personalities, but the way they navigated their differences felt believable and wholesome.

Review Of To Be Chilled and To Be Warm By BristerXD

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Hello BristerXD!

Boy, it feels like it's been a while since the last time that I've had the privilege of reading and analyzing one of your works. It probably goes without saying that I'm pretty late to the party on this one. I've been so wrapped up in writing my own story that I sort of let yours slip by. I decided that I would use your story as a reward for finishing my own. Once I had finished my own, I would let myself read yours. Despite that incentive sounding good on paper, my own story would be delayed many times throughout that next month, as you know. Now that I've finished my own story, I can take a break and finally reap my reward. With that in mind, the only question left to ask is whether that reward was worth the wait...

Let's get cracking, shall we? It's time for me to do what I do...

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To start, the opening line and the following line are pretty great.

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm “How come it never snows on Christmas when I’m in a good mood.”

It seemed like Takashi had finally run out of concrete things to complain about.

In two lines, we know our central character, the setting, the date, and we know some additional details like how Takashi is probably not in a good mood and that Taro has probably been standing with him for some time—listening to him rattle off his complaints. If there is anything that BristerXD is good at, it's making the most out of only a little.

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When I read the following line...

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm Taro on the other hand... was busy using his grip to bring up more fried chicken to his mouth.

I had absolutely no idea that fried chicken would be the most important element of symbolism in this story. This line serves as our introduction to Taro, and my gut reaction was to think, "Oh, Brister is trying to set up Taro to be the 'chubby one' in this story." By having this line be the first thing we get with Taro, we associate the word "eating" (and possibly "chubbiness") with Taro.

This is all done so that Brister can subvert our initial take on Taro by telling us that Taro is actually losing weight, and that Takashi was actually the one who inspired Taro to go on a diet and work out.

This is a common pattern throughout this story: things not actually being as they seem. Takashi spends the story brooding and worrying that he's not good enough, that he's worthless to everyone around him, and that everyone just wants to leave him behind. In reality, he isn't being left behind. Taro still values his friendship and sees Takashi as an inspiration figure. When approached by Hisao, Takashi expects tension, but it turns out Hisao never had any ill intent toward Takashi—he just wants to be friendly. Maybe, Takashi thinks, I'm not being left behind after all... And just as he thinks that, who else steps into the picture? Saki.

Yeah, Saki making her entrance is a little cheesy, but I'm more than willing to except it because it's a thematically fitting ending, and not to mention... it's freaking Christmas. Just let me have this moment, okay?

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm Takashi turned away from Taro in a huff, looking like he was about to storm away but instead he stayed put, hugging himself as the wind suddenly seemed to cut cold on the pair. Taro, still being warmed slightly by the fresh bucket of fried chicken...

This is amazing. Not only is there a clever contrast between Takashi being cold and Taro being warm, not only is it another symbolic use of fried chicken motif, but it's also a sad image in itself. Takashi wants to walk away, but where else can he go? He's stuck. He doesn't have anyone else that he can go to... at least, that what he thinks in his despondent mindset. In his mind, all he has left is Taro.

Taro knows this and calls Takashi's bluff.

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "Just look me in the eye and say you want me to leave.”

Savage, but sure enough, Taro is right. Takashi can't do it, and with that... We get the following:

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm “How did he do it Taro…” Takashi’s words seemed to hang in the air.

“Who?” Taro asked, expecting the opposite pronoun.

[...]

“Hisao? What did he do?”

And now that we're here, I need to gush for a little bit. I absolutely LOVE that this is how Brister chose to handle Feurox's prompt. When I read Feurox's prompt, I assumed that the central two characters (in this case, Taro and Takashi) would randomly see Hisao and Emi at the beginning of the story, that the sighting would set off some sort of discussion between the two central characters, and then we'd never see or hear from them Hisao or Emi again. Instead, Hisao and Emi are the discussion. More specifically, what Hisao and Emi represent are the discussion. A happy pair. Lovers who complement each other. Two individuals who seem to have everything figured out. They're everything that Takashi wants to have.

At first glance, we think that Takashi is envious of Hisao because he has "gotten better." But we soon find out that Takashi is envious of Emi because of what recently happened with him and... Saki.

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm Saki. The ornament that finally broke the tree branch.

Girl trouble. Should've freaking known...

All joking aside. This twist makes complete sense given Feurox's prompt and how Takashi has been acting throughout this story beforehand.

From here on, we get a rather heartbreaking story about Takashi's troubles. In particular, I loved this part:

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "One of the old statue in the city. I painted it when I first transferred here and walked around the city for the first time. I then looked at what was on my easel and saw… the same painting. I was so stressed out from everything that I went back to town to paint and ended up doing the same thing I had done four years ago."

This was a very creative way of showing that Takashi is struggling to move on, and it's followed by another great moment. Possibly the highlight of the entire story for me.

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm A part of Takashi wished he could just lose control of that. Lose awareness, get lost in a flood of emotions, feel drained of everything in his body. Instead, his own question sat in his stomach like a lead ball. A ball he felt like he had toyed with all his life. There was no Sisyphus like tragedy to it. Only weight. Weight that brought down only a tear or two at a time.

This paragraph is dripping with reality. Have you ever gotten to that point where you're pushing to get tears out because you're so desperate for the sweet release of catharsis... but can't muster more than moist eyes? Yeah, that's what Takashi is feeling. Not being able to have that catharsis when you want it so badly is the worst feeling. You feel so useless that you can't even cry about it.

Luckily, our homeboy Taro Arai is here to save the day like a true Chad... Sometimes we need somebody like that to be there and to remind us of why we're all special and why we're worth the cells, food, water, oxygen, and yes, the fried chicken that it takes to keep us alive.

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Finally, can I just say... Ugh, this ending is so perfect. It's cheesy in all the right ways, but it also gives us payoff after payoff.

First off, as I previously mentioned, we get to see Hisao and Takashi interact. Takashi gets to realize that the animosity between himself and Hisao was all in his head, or at least it was greatly exaggerated by his head.

Second, we get the Saki reveal. Wholesome.

Thirdly, we get this line:

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm “I actually hope you don’t mind me tagging along. I had a few questions about how you managed to get loverboy here in shape…”

Not only is this funny, but it's such a perfect payoff for Taro.

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As always with BristerXD, there's a lot of great imagery. Here are some of the bits that stuck out to me:

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm The falling snow started to collect on the upturned collar of Takashi’s jacket. Taro started needing to wipe away the flakes catching his eyelashes. It was as if they were just little dramatic figures in a snowglobe.

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm The freezing cold that made them feel like jagged knives cutting down his face was just poetic justice to Takashi.

BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm The two boys look over at each other, small grins on their lips and giant smiles in their eyes.

This last line in particular really stuck out to me. If you just look at their lips, all you're going to see is a tiny smile—a grin—because their real smiles are beaming from their eyes. It's a lovely reminder that we're more than just the words and facial expressions formed by our lips.

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So yeah, if it isn't obvious already, this was a great read. Brister has clearly made the most of Feurox's prompt—fully making use of the potential therein. He's squeezed out every drop, every bit of pulp, and even gone above and beyond by squeezing out some zest as well.

The writing is excellent, the imagery is pulsing with life, and the thematic core is meaningful and well explored. Not to mention the trademark BristerXD style of humor that is just icing on the cake.

So yes, the reward was worth the wait.

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Typos:

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I've been very positive in this review so far, but I'm afraid that this is where I have to get negative.

To put it simply, this story could have used a proofread. Not even a proofreader (although that wouldn't have hurt), just a proofread. While reading this story, I could help but notice lots of little typos and other moments where the presentation felt sloppy. At worst, I couldn't even understand some of the sentences that I was reading.

Once again, let me reiterate that this story has the same high-quality writing I've come to expect from Brister, but when he mentioned in the introduction that he had to "crunch" to get this story out by Christmas, I feel like that pressure might have seeped into his writing.

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"Man has a bum heart is dating the school’s motivational pamphlet bait story track star."

Ummmm... Try reading this out loud... It doesn't really make sense (I think a word or two is missing), nor does it have great flow. Emi is referred to as "the school's motivational pamphlet bait story track star." That's eight words. Eight. That's way too many words to describe a person with.

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "...Hey you think following that line of logic snow would be the clouds c-”

Hilarious, but you're missing an apostrophe on the word, "clouds."

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "Neither said anything or made a move."

"Or" should be "nor".

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "'How did he do it Taro…'"

Missing question mark.

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "New boy on campus Hisao Nakai."

Unless you're going for something stylistic, I would classify this as an incomplete sentence. Also, there should be a comma between the word "campus" and the word "Hisao."

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm “We were paired together in math and you looked like he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.”

Again, read this out loud, and it doesn't make sense. I think that the word "he" should be "you."

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "...You think you’re the only person who’s ever felt like they were going nowhere...”

Missing question mark.

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BristerXD wrote: ↑Fri Dec 25, 2020 3:24 pm "Though I hope this isn’t some sneaky way of making me feel back for not getting you a present.”

Once more, read this out loud. I think that "back" should be "bad."

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I hope that didn't come across as too harsh, and I am completely aware that most of these typos are the result of the "Christmas Crunch," but this seems to be your most glaring shortcoming as a writer. Each time I read a typo, I'm somewhat taken out of the story.

In other words, you're writing is so good that I'm being forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel to come up with any criticism.

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I think I'll call it there! Thank you for writing this story, Brister. It's just as wonderful as I've come to expect from you. I anxiously look forward to whatever is coming next from you.

Take care, everyone!

(Posted on behalf of MoashLannister/Detective Emo - he sent it to me back on January 26...)

Victim: Hacksorus
Prompt: Hisao is inexplicably and unreasonably excited about Christmas, and insists that the girl(s) (any combination of the main girls) get into the holiday spirit with him.

“IT’S HERE! IT’S ALMOST HERE!”

The loud shout immediately awakened everyone in the small apartment, much to their annoyance. One woke up to find that her bed was missing someone, while the other was startled awake. The two of them exited their bedrooms, with one rubbing her eye while the other wanted to, but was unable.

“M-Morning, Rin…” Hanako said as she stepped out, seeing Rin slip out of the door opposite her, already opened. Her eyes widened at the realisation that she wasn’t wearing anything, and immediately tried to look away. “U-Uh, R-Rin? You’re...not w-wearing anything.”

The aspiring artist looked down, as if she was noticing her nakedness for the first time, and simply shrugged. “You’ve seen me naked a lot of times,” She said. “When you help me shower, or put on my clothes. But this time you’re embarrassed, like a mother looking at her naked child, except the child is now twenty instead of two.”

Without saying another word, she walked back into the bedroom that she and her boyfriend shared to put on some clothes, at least that was what Hanako hoped. As ever, her analogy-prone way of saying things made her feel just a bit lost. Though this time, it was secondary to the shout she just heard, which was extremely uncharacteristic of the to whom that voice belonged to.

With a quiet yawn, Hanako walked down the hall and into the main room of the apartment, a small but cozy little place that has been her residence for almost a year. A place that she could truly consider her home, though it didn’t belong to only her. Indeed, the style and decorations of the apartment was a combination of the three who inhabited it, with Rin’s paintings adoring the walls, a bookshelf that contained books that Hanako would frequently purchase for everyone, and furniture that was primarily blue and sterile looking.

The last of those were chosen by the person she was walking towards, who resided in the kitchen. Or rather, the kitchen area of the main room, since there wasn’t a door or even a wall that separated the two. It was surprisingly well equipped for an apartment as affordable as this one, with an oven, two stoves and a fridge. The only additions they’d made since were a kettle and the various foodstuffs they’d bought.

Near the corner of the kitchen was the third resident of the apartment, who was currently finishing putting tap water into the kettle, preparing it to boil. The man noticed Hanako approaching and quickly set the water to boil before turning around to face her, a jovial smile on his face.

“M-Morning, Hisao.” She said, feeling a little unnerved about how unusually happy her friend was being. It wasn’t that he’d never been happy, far from it. But his expressions of joy were usually more...reserved than what they were now.

“Morning, Hanako! Great day today!” Hisao responded with an unusual amount of glee, opening a shelf and taking out several thin packets. “I’m making hot cocoa for the three of us. Actually, I was thinking about making breakfast for all of us. What do you want?”

Hanako continued to stare at her friend in confusion and just a little bit of concern, though she couldn’t see any reason to refuse his offer. “U-Um, I think I’ll be fine with bacon and eggs.”

“Bacon and eggs it is!” Hisao said as he took three cups from a rack and placed them near the kettle, each a different color to signify who it belonged to. “And after breakfast, we should go shopping! Candies, decorations, maybe even a small tree if we can afford it.”

It was at this point that Rin emerged from her room, now wearing a loose fitting shirt and pants. She walked towards Hanako and the two shared a look before turning back to Hisao, who was pouring cocoa powder and hot water into each of their cups.

“Morning…” Rin mentioned nonchalantly, unfazed by Hisao’s unusual cheeriness. “I wanted to sleep more, but then your shout made me awake, and now I can’t sleep even though I want to. It’s like melting ice into water, except the water doesn’t want to turn back into ice even though it feels better than being water.”

“Sorry,” Hisao apologized as he grabbed the three cups and walked over to their low dining table, setting them down. “I’m just really excited for today. What do you want for breakfast?”

Rin took a moment to think about it before answering. “Whale nuggets. I’ve heard somewhere about people eating whales, so I want to try that. But I also don’t want you to go out and buy a whale for me, so I also don’t want to eat whale nuggets. Hmm…”

“Well, Hanako is having bacon and eggs,” Hisao answered, shaking his head in amusement at Rin’s desire to consume a whale. “Would you want some too?”

“Yes,” Rin answered simply, causing her boyfriend to nod his head as he opened the fridge, pulling out several strips of bacon and some eggs from a carton. “You feel different, but you’re still the same Hisao. Something about today makes you different, like how some women are happy on some days and cranky on other days because they need to clear the blood inside their pants.”

Hanako blushed at that last statement, while Hisao just chuckled as he started putting the bacon onto an oiled pan.

“I guess I’m feeling a little excited today,” He admitted as he cracked a few eggs and placed them onto the pan alongside the bacon. “It’s Christmas Eve! One day away from Christmas!”

“Oh,” Rin replied, as if she was expecting a better answer. Without saying another word, she went to the dining table and sat down on the floor, using her legs to grab her cup of hot cocoa to sip it.

Hanako did the same, though she felt far more surprised than Rin did, and not necessarily because of Hisao’s reason for his change in attitude. As she sat down and sipped her own cup of cocoa, it finally registered that today was indeed Christmas Eve.

“T-Tomorrow’s...Christmas…” She muttered out, as if she couldn’t believe it. “C-Christmas...”

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it,” Hisao mentioned as he quickly took several plates off a cupboard, placing them near the pan. “I want this Christmas to be great. More than great, actually. I want it to be the best Christmas any of us has ever experienced.”

“Best Christmas…” Rin noted, taking another sip of her hot cocoa. “I can’t really think of a best Christmas, even though I’ve celebrated Christmas with my parents a lot. It’s like trying to find the best grain of rice in a rice bag, even though it’s only one grain.”

“Christmas…” Hanako repeated, feeling a little deflated at the idea. “I can’t remember celebrating Christmas.”

“Because you can’t, or because you don’t want to?” Rin asked in a neutral tone. “There’s a difference, like being able to set yourself on fire, but not wanting to because you’ll cook yourself and cannibals might come to eat you.”

The question was blunt and to the point, which Hanako expected and oddly appreciated from Rin. She had an interesting dynamic with the couple, and both understood her in different ways, with Hisao acting more openly empathetic with his words while Rin simply said what was on her mind regardless of how she might have felt. Both of them cared for her however, and she couldn’t have asked for better friends to see through her college years.

“I-I guess it’s because I don’t want to,” Hanako admitted. “M-Most of my Christmases were at the orphanage, which didn’t really celebrate it. A-After that was Yamaku, b-but Lilly left for Scotland and you and Rin were…”

“Breakfast is ready!” Hisao interjected loudly as he walked over to the dining table, three plates and a bunch of eating utensils in tow. He set them all down and sat beside Rin, the three of the bowing slightly before beginning to eat. Hanako didn’t feel the need to continue what she was saying, as she was sure the two of them could fill in the blanks.

“Mm, so what are we doing after this?” Rin asked in between bites of her bacon. “I know you have a plan, even though I shouldn’t know because I can’t read your mind, but I can somehow.”

“Well after we’re done with breakfast, we can head for the mall,” Hisao said as he ate his breakfast, at a pace far faster than usual. “Buy what we need for tomorrow, then maybe go someplace fancy for lunch. Didn’t you two want to try out that Thai place a few days ago?”

Rin nodded, recalling when the three of them went home from eating dinner at a ramen place they frequented. “They had rice in pineapple bowls, even though pineapples aren’t supposed to be bowls. Plus the inside looked so dark even with lights on, like the place was a vacuum cleaner that was always sucking up light.”

“I-I’ve always wanted to try out h-how they prepare their vegetable dishes,” Hanako said, as she took notice of that place several times over the semester, only pointing out that interest when Rin did. “H-Hopefully it’s not too full. It looked pretty crowded the last time, and today’s Christmas Eve!”

“I’m sure we can get a seat,” Hisao responded with both optimism and enthusiasm. “I already know what I want to get you two, but it’s going to be a secret till tomorrow.”

The sudden realization that they needed to get presents for each other occurred to the two of them, though Hanako expressed it more outwardly than Rin, who simply nodded her head. An idea of what to give to them was one that Hanako started to really think about, yet couldn’t find a clear answer.

She didn’t want something that was ordinary, which would make her seem uncaring, as if she just gave them out of obligation. At the same time, giving them something that pertained to their interests felt a little too safe, as if she didn’t put much thought into it. Besides, they often went out shopping for things pertaining to their interests anyways, like new art equipment for Rin and science books for Hisao.

Hanako wanted her gift to be unique, much like how each of Rin’s paintings were, many of whom she had given to the two. In fact, she expected her to give them more paintings for Christmas, yet would still consider it more unique than anything she could think of at the moment.

“Hmm, I want to go shopping already,” Rin said, cracking a smile with a strip of bacon sticking out of her mouth.

“I want to see what I want to get for you two, even though I’ll know then instead of now. I also want to see what Hanako will get for Hisao, and what Hisao will get for Hanako. But even though I’ll know, I won’t say what it is. Like how Hanako told me not to tell Hisao that she was the one that lost his keys two months ago.”

“R-Rin!” Hanako shouted suddenly, the secret suddenly out. Hisao seemed to take it in stride though, laughing a little.

“So that’s what happened to them,” Hisao said in realization. “Honestly though, I had a feeling it was one of you two. ‘A cat took it’ isn’t really the best excuse.”

As Hanako looked down in embarrassment, Rin also added. “Or the time that Hisao and I accidentally ate all of the cake Hanako had put in the fridge instead of just one slice, and blamed it on me.”

This time, it was Hisao’s turn to panic as he turned to Rin, while Hanako turned to Hisao with a look of betrayal. “You promised not to tell her!”

“Oh…” Rin muttered out. “I forgot, but now I remember when it’s too late. Like a fish that forgot to breathe but only remembered when it’s already dead.”

“You...ate my cake…” Hanako pointed out in disappointment, recalling the time when she bought that very cake back for them all to enjoy, fairly small but with layers of chocolate and vanilla. It was something Emi would have verbally killed them for eating, yet indulge in it herself. When she opened the fridge to find it gone, it almost drove her to tears.

“Sorry, Hanako,” Hisao said in a guilty tone. “My Christmas present will more than make up for it, I promise.”

“I-It’d better.” Hanako responded, even trying to emulate Emi by giving him a pout before letting out a giggle at the silliness of it all.

As always, the mornings were a comfortable atmosphere for the three of them, a contrast to their usually stressful lives at college. Despite some initial problems, living together proved to be a wonderful idea, as the three had grown even closer since their departure from Yamaku.

Hisao had gotten a wonderful girlfriend, Rin had two people willing to understand her, and Hanako had found people she thought she could finally trust. For the three of them, Christmas was not only a holiday to celebrate, but a mark of how far they’ve come together.

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After breakfast and a change of clothes, the three of them set out to buy presents, not only for themselves but their other friends. While none of them had really active social circles within their college group, they still wanted to be courteous and buy a gift, even if out of a sense of obligation.

The more pressing matter was their old friends at Yamaku, namely Emi and Miki, who said that they might be dropping at their apartment without any hint of confirmation. All three of them agreed to buy something in anticipation, but also agreed to buy them a present as a group, to save on a bit of money.

And so they set out towards a mall near their apartment, where they did most of their shopping during the semester. Unsurprisingly, the place was extremely packed when they entered, with many families and couples present.

“So, here’s how this is going to work,” Hisao said as they neared a public bench, which was empty. “We need to keep our gifts anonymous until tomorrow. We cannot know what we’re going to get.”

“Why?” Rin asked as he looked around the place, her eyes wide with curiosity. There were many times where she would simply sit on a bench and sketch everything around her, drawing a lot of attention with her disability. Hisao would often accompany her as well, both to spend time with her and to keep her safe. “It’s like telling me you’re cooking something delicious tomorrow, but not telling me what it is. It just makes me want to know, like knowing what tomorrow’s lottery numbers are, except I’d rather win a lottery than eat something delicious.”

“It’s part of the Christmas spirit,” Hisao responded, looking almost like a child as his body refused to stand still. “Not knowing what you’ll get until the time comes, wondering about what your presents might be. There’s nothing more exciting than unwrapping a gift you know nothing about.”

“Really?” Rin countered, seeming unconvinced. “I think riding a motorcycle made of glass is more exciting, because I can’t ride motorcycles and they aren’t supposed to be made of glass, so it’s two types of impossible.”

An amused Hisao ignored that comment. “So, what I suggest is that two of us go shopping together to buy gifts for the one that’ll stay here. Once we’re done, we switch so that the next pair buys for the one left behind. So on and so forth until we’ve all bought a gift for each other. Then afterwards we can go and buy gifts for Miki and Emi.”

“T-That seems alright with me,” Hanako said, nodding in agreement. “I-If it’s alright, can you two go first. I need to think about w-what I want to buy?”

“Alright,” Hisao said as Hanako sat down on the bench, pulling a book from the bag strapped around her shoulder. Turning to Rin, he motioned to a long line of stores with his head. “Shall we go, Rin?”

Rin nodded, and the two head off, leaving Hanako sitting on the bench to read her book. As they headed for a line of stores, Rin suddenly leaned onto Hisao.

“You’re warmer,” Rin noted. “Not your body, but what’s inside your body. But it’s not like the inside of your body is hotter, otherwise you might be sick.”

“I’m just in the Christmas spirit. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so a certain song likes to say.” Hisao responded with a smile, a hand wrapped around Rin’s shoulder. He was hit with a sudden hit of nostalgia, remembering so many moments where he had done this, keeping each other close as much as possible.

Their relationship had blossomed near the end of their time in Yamaku, and while college did make properly spending time with each other difficult due to their assignments and other priorities, they nevertheless squeezed in whatever time they could afford, and almost always ended the night in each other’s arms.

Hisao was in love with her. Madly so, even. And while Rin’s shows of affection were more unorthodox and subdued at times, he knew that she saw him the same way. That one fact brushed aside all the other misunderstandings that they might have, which was surprisingly little nowadays.

“Mm, I’ve heard that song before. Sounded like someone trying to brainwash you into having fun,” Rin commented as they passed a store full of children’s toys, of which both knew was probably not the best gift to give someone like Hanako. “I prefer the more quiet Christmas songs, even though they say things I don’t really understand. Why is Mary being a virgin so important? Are virgins important? Does that mean I’m not important during Christmas?”

“It’s...complicated,” Hisao said, having some cursory knowledge on the significance, but deciding it’s best not to explain. Deciding to switch topics, he asked. “Any idea on what to get Hanako? Or were you planning on giving her a painting?”

“I thought about it, but I didn’t think it would be right,” Rin responded, shaking her head slightly. “Like giving potato chips instead of candy for Halloween, even though kids would probably like potato chips just as much.”

“Well, I’m sure we can find something.” Hisao said as he looked at the store to his right, and slowed down significantly. It was a clothes store, and had a lot of nice looking dresses, shirts and jackets on display.

“You want to buy clothes for her.” Rin said, a statement rather than a question.

“Well, she does wear the same thing a lot,” Hisao responded, noting the almost perfect routine-like manner in which Hanako wears her clothes, with a specific set of clothes for each day with little deviation. “I was thinking of getting her something new to wear.”

Rin stayed silent, closing her eyes to think about it.

“Do you think it might be a bad idea?” Hisao asked, feeling a little uncertain. The two of them have grown very close to Hanako, considering her their greatest friend. She helped them both individually and as a couple, and in return they’ve done a lot to ease the issues she had about others and herself. While Hisao didn’t think giving Hanako a piece of clothing might not anger or truly upset her, especially since she’s comfortable enough to live with them, he didn’t want to give her something that she herself wouldn’t like.

“It’s an idea,” Rin concluded with certainty. “It might be a good one, or it might be a bad one. But right now, it’s an idea. Like how a road is still a road whether or not it leads to a nice village or off a cliff.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Hisao said, and the two moved towards the store. “What about you, would buying clothes for you be a good id-”

“Bad idea,” Rin interjected before he could finish. “I know that road, and that road is going off a cliff and into a sea, except the sea is made of paint and holes.”

“Well, I guess that’s one thing off the list of things I shouldn’t get you.” Hisao responded as they entered the store, chuckling at how direct she was.

The store was unsurprisingly packed, though thankfully not to the point of having to squeeze through people just to get anywhere. A lot of the clothes on sale were for winter, though there were some that can be worn regardless of the season, which was where Hisao and Rin decided to focus on.

“Hmm, what would Hanako like?” Hisao wondered aloud as he looked over a rack of clothes. He felt Rin’s body pressing up against his, a sign that she wanted his attention. “Found something?”

Turning to Rin, he saw her eyes focusing on a piece of black clothing hidden amongst the others, and Hisao took it out to inspect it. His eyebrow raised as he took a proper look at what Rin was so keen on.

It was a dark leather jacket, the front separated by an open zipper on the left side. In fact, the jacket had a lot of smaller zippers on it, acting as pockets to store items in. It was also rather large, definitely something that’s meant to be worn over a shirt, whether zipped or unzipped. To Hisao, it felt as if it were something that a biker would wear as he raced on a motorcycle.

“Do you really think she’ll like this?” Hisao said, feeling a little doubtful. It wasn’t flashy or revealing, but it still had a certain eye-catching property about it, which might be the opposite of what Hanako wants in terms of attire.

“Mm, I think it’ll make her look dangerous and beautiful, like a rose with thorns that can kill you if you touch it,” Rin said, nodding in approval of the gift. “I think I know what I want to give Hanako now, but you’re holding it, which technically makes it yours even if you hadn’t bought it yet, like how money you borrowed is technically yours.”

Hisao simply rolled his eyes. “This can be your gift, and I’ll find something else here that can be my gift. Alright?”

Rin nodded, and with the leather jacket in his hands, the two of them went to another corner of the store to look for Hisao’s gift. The fact that Rin chose a jacket made him reconsider buying her another article of clothing, seeing it as redundant and unnecessary, but something about Rin’s gift made him want to buy an article of clothing that’s a bit of the opposite.

After a bit more searching, Hisao finally found what he wanted, a rather casual lilac dress with long sleeves and a lot of frills near the bottom. It was a very stark contrast to the jacket, being light, feminine, safe and pretty as opposed to dark, manly, threatening and dashing.

“Well, if she doesn’t like one, she’ll at least like the other.” Hisao joked to Rin.

“Mm, or she’ll like both, or not like both.” Rin pointed out, though she didn’t really look worried about the last possibility.

The two of them went to the counter and paid for the clothes. Or rather, Hisao paid for the both of them, as Rin had forgotten to bring money with her again. The clothes were put in separate, and thankfully blank, plastic bags. Holding them both, the two of them exited the store and made their way back to Hanako.

“You’re smiling,” Rin noted, once again observing her boyfriend. “I’ve seen you smile a lot of times, but this smile is special. Like having chocolate and vanilla ice cream instead of just chocolate.”

“I guess I’m just a little happier than usual,” Hisao said, knowing how moody he could be at the worst of times. Being in a relationship with Rin, as well as having good friends such as Hanako, has done wonders in making him cheery. But he knew that a part of him still defaulted to feeling melancholy, mostly when he’s alone. “I get to spend Christmas with people I like. Give them gifts, eat some nice food together, just...having fun.”

“Do you not like your parents during Christmas?” Rin asked, and Hisao’s smile faded a little at the mention of such a touchy subject for the both of them.

“I guess it’s a bit of a hard question to answer,” Hisao admitted, slowing his walking speed to a crawl. He knew that this conversation was going to take some time, so he wanted to finish it before heading back to Hanako. “I remember my first Christmases being pretty fun. My parents gave me gifts, like toys or baseball cards. It was honestly really easy to see who gave me what. We’d eat a lot of good food, either from restaurants or just Mom’s cooking. She always joked about gaining ten pounds the day after Christmas. After dinner we’d watch a movie together, two if I could manage it, before we all went to bed.”

Of course, with the benefit of hindsight and the worldview of a young adult, he also knew that their Christmas didn’t exactly end when he slept. They’d stay up for a few hours to be merry as a couple rather than as a family, which would be a reason why he’d often be the one to wake up first the day after, and why the door to their bedroom was unusually locked.

“Mm, I think my Christmases were like that,” Rin responded, staring blankly in front of her, as if she were looking at a scene that was not the one before her eyes. “I’d paint paintings for them every Christmas, because I did it once and Mama and Papa really liked it, so I’d feel like I need to paint during that time even when I didn’t want to. It was like a switch in my head that only turned on when Christmas is near, and someone else would control my body to paint, even though that someone else was still me.”

“But I was still happy, or at least most of me. Mama and Papa always gave me nice things, and we’d all sleep together in the same bed even though I had my own bedroom. It felt warm and nice, like how hugging a teddy bear is warm and nice even though actually hugging a bear would be really dirty and smelly and the bear might kill you.”

“Actually, I think one of my first ever Christmas gifts was a teddy bear,” Hisao noted humorously, a part of his mind wondering if he remembered what happened to that toy. When he didn’t his tone grew somber as he recalled memories more closer to the present. “Once I hit my teens though, Christmases kind of...stop. My family began working hard around that time, and they’d get too tired to really celebrate. They still give me gifts, but I think by then it was just because they had to in order to pretend that the holiday was still special to them.”

Rin gently nuzzled Hisao’s neck, which she often did when she felt that he needed some comfort that her words couldn’t properly convey.

“Thanks, and sorry for souring the mood a little,” He said with a comfortable sigh. “Anyways, I think we’ve kept Hanako waiting long enough.”

The two silently walked back to the bench, where Hanako was still reading, though she quickly noticed them and closed the book. Putting it back into her bag, she quickly stood up to face them, briefly glancing at the two bags Hisao was carrying.

“T-Thanks for buying those for me,” She said in appreciation. “I-I really like it.”

“You don’t know what they are yet,” Hisao responded, cracking an amused smile. “For all we know, you could end up hating mine. Or Rin’s. Preferably Rin’s.”

“I don’t want you to hate my gift,” Rin said, though she didn’t seem worried. “I want you to like my gift. And Hisao’s, but I also want you to hate Hisao’s. It’s weird, like wanting a volcano to stay dormant, yet also wanting it to erupt and kill an entire city. Like that one Roman one I had to do a painting about.”

“I-I couldn’t possibly hate it,” Hanako assured them both, giving them a confident smile, something that was a rarity during their days in Yamaku. “I-If it’s you two giving me gifts, t-then I know it’s because you two care about me, a-and that’s all I want as a gift. Whatever it is doesn’t matter.”

“Aw, and here I was hoping you’d pick which one was better,” Hisao said in a joking tone, brushing his hair back. “But I guess what you said is more in line with the Christmas spirit.”

“N-Now it’s time to buy gifts for you two,” Hanako said, sounding firm despite not quite knowing what she wanted to give them. “U-Um, who’s staying behind?”

“I can do it,” Rin volunteered, alreadying sitting on the bench to prove a point. “I’ll stay really still, like a marble statue that I had to paint, except it was a naked person painted like marble even though it looked nothing like marble balls.”

“You sure?” Hisao asked, who wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone in the first place. Rin simply nodded, and he decided not to worry. “Alright then. Shall we, Hanako?”

“Mm,” Hanako said, and together the two set out to find a gift that would excite someone like Rin, with her eccentricities and how she viewed the world. “Hisao, do you know what you want to give her?”

“Honestly...no clue,” Hisao answered, sounding a bit guilty that he didn’t have the foresight to think of a gift for his girlfriend. “I guess I’ll sort of take Rin’s approach, and just see whatever feels right.”

“Like seeing a p-pig and immediately wanting pork, even though you just ate it yesterday, right?” Hanako responded, trying to emulate the way Rin speaks. Hisao couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at that.

“Wow, that’s probably something she would say in that situation,” Hisao acknowledged as they walked past several confectionary shops, the distance between them short as they walked side by side. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You know her as well as I do.”

“I-I wouldn’t say that,” Hanako refuted. “Y-You two are much closer, b-being boyfriend and girlfriend and all…”

“You’d think that,” Hisao said with an amused snort. “Honestly, I still have moments where I feel like I’m back at square one, completely unable to figure her out. Even after so long, I really can’t say I have a perfect grasp of how she feels at all times.”

“T-That’s not really fair,” Hanako countered, letting her disagreement show in her voice, though not to the point of derision. “I-I think even normal couples will h-have moments like that.”

“Fair point,” Hisao looked around for any stores of interest, feeling annoyed that he couldn’t find anything that caught his eye. “Speaking of being back in square one, I still have no idea what to give her.”

Hanako similarly scanned around for some stores, finding herself similarly uninspired by them. The two of them looked at each other and nodded, deciding to walk around the mall a little more until they saw something they thought Rin would like.

They walked a long way, even using the elevator to head to the upper floor, all the while looking out for something. Hisao had a vague impression on what to get her. Something memorable, artistic, and practical if possible.

And then, something caught Hisao’s eye, and he immediately walked towards what he saw. Hanako was surprised when he went in a completely different direction, but followed him nevertheless, seeing the spark in his eyes as she caught up with him.

The two reached a store that was painted all black, from the walls to the door to even the glass, which had a very dark tint. Despite that, the sign was glowing a rainbow light, its color everchanging. It was definitely a very unusual store, and Hisao wondered if this store was established recently. Surely he would have noticed it if he walked by in the past.

“Shirakawa L-Lamps and K-Knick Knack.” Hanako uttered the store’s name, looking at the very eye-catching sign before seeing what Hisao was focusing on, a line of strange looking cylindrical lamps.

Each of them was glowing a different color, from orange to purple to cyan. Some even changed color, from subtle changes in hue to constantly switching colors, and all of them had something floating inside it as well, moving through the inside of the lamp as if it were swimming.

“I think I found what I want to buy for her.” Hisao said confidently, a smile forming on his face as he observed the lamps.

“T-They look really pretty.” Hanako replied, similarly enamoured.

The two of them entered the store, which was as dark on the inside as it was on the outside. It all served to highlight the many lamps, all glowing a different color as it tried to illuminate their black surroundings. Apart from those, the two also saw dolls, books, packs of cards, all having a very antiquated look to it.

“Greetings,” An elderly voice said, emerging from one of the shelves to greet them. The man was old, with many wrinkles on his face and body and hair as white as snow, but he still had a youthful aura about him as he smiled at the two with slightly yellow teeth. “I must say, it’s not every day I have some customers as young as you two.”

“Your lamps looked pretty cool,” Hisao responded, still glancing at them despite turning towards the old man. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like them.”

“Ah, well lava lamps have gotten a bit out of style for most people, much like me,” The old man responded with a chuckle. “Still, I find something timeless about them, which is why I opened up this shop. Please, go ahead and take a look around and ask me if you need anything.”

Hanako nodded and walked off to the far end of the store, observing what other items it had to offer on its shelves. Hisao meanwhile, walked up to the counter where the old man was walking towards, intent on asking him something.

“Hey, I was thinking of buying a lamp for someone,” He said nonchalantly. “Do you have any recommendations?”

“Well, that would depend on the person you’re giving it to,” The old shopkeep responded, his eyes lighting up with excitement. “So, who are they like?”

“Very special,” were the first words to come into his mind to describe Rin, although he knew that was extremely vague. “She’s an artist, and definitely thinks like one. Her mind sort of has its own little world that I’m a part of, but it’s not a world I’m always familiar with. She’s creative, thoughtful and beautiful, but also a little scary because of it.”

“Sometimes I feel like the words she says are in a different language, even though it’s not. I’ve become decent at interpreting it, but every now and then she says something that completely befuddles me. It’s like her heads constantly in the clouds, and I’m the one making sure she doesn’t just float out into space or something.”

It’s at this point that Hisao realized that he talked more than he thought he would, though the shopkeep seemed fascinated by his description. He scratched his chin, wondering what would make a perfect gift for such a person, before finally cracking a wide smile and walking away.

He returned a few moments later with an unlit lamp, with a similar cylindrical shape to all the rest. However, the inside of it was different, as instead of blobs of various sizes there were objects that looked like stars and moons, both circular and crescent.

The shopkeep plugged the lamp’s plug to a socket on the wall and lit it on, emitting a rainbow color that changed moderately fast, a new array of colors every few seconds. What was most striking to Hisao though was how the light reflected off the many objects within, projecting their shapes onto the black walls.

Hisao looked in amazement as an array of stars and moons covered his surroundings, in many different colors that changed just like the lamp. They weren’t static, moving slightly as they swirled inside the lamp, the stars on the wall looking almost like they were orbiting around the lamp that emitted them.

“Wow…” Hisao said simply, and in that moment knew that this was the perfect thing to give her. It was beautiful and radiant, yet ever changing and constantly in movement, much like Rin herself.

“I take it that you’re interested,” The shopkeep said as he turned the lamp off, the lights on the wall immediately disappearing. He unplugged it before walking it up to Hisao. “Since it’s Christmas, I’m willing to let this one go for a discount.”

“Really?” Hisao said, his hand already reaching for his wallet.

“I’m giving you this at a discounted price, so that you can give it to someone you care about. To make them happy. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?” The shopkeep gave Hisao a wink before moving to the counter, placing the lamp as he worked the cash register.

Hisao couldn’t help but feel a sense of joy at the old man’s selflessness, and the smile on his face persisted even as he paid a rather large sum of money, with the discount softening the blow to his wallet. The shopkeep even had a box ready to put the lamp in and tied it with a green bow before putting it in a plastic bag.

Hanako appeared at the counter with her purchase as well, a doll that had another doll inside it, which itself had several dolls of smaller size inside it. Each one was different despite the similar shape, and the shopkeep explained that it was called a matryoshka doll. It was almost as pricey as the lamp, though the shopkeep offered a similar discount to her, but Hanako didn’t seem fazed as she bought it.

Both of them were confident in their gifts, and what it would represent to Rin. Bidding the shopkeep goodbye, they exited the store and began walking back to the bench where she was waiting.

“H-Hisao?” Hanako asked. “W-Why were you so excited this morning? I-I didn’t think you were the type to be so h-happy about Christmas?”

“I suppose not, huh?” Hisao said, still smiling. “I guess...this past year feels like a new start to me, and the last two years haven’t really been things to smile at, especially around Christmas time. Two years ago was around where I had my heart attack, and I could barely remember what I did for Christmas, or even what I got. The year after that, well…”

“O-Oh,” Hanako didn’t need to inquire further, as she immediately knew what he was referring to. The first and final winter he spent in Yamaku was a rough one, partially due to the rift that formed between Rin and him. It has long since mended, but the memory was still not one easily brought up. “I-I guess it would have been i-inappropriate to celebrate it b-back then.”

“Yeah, none of us would really be in the spirit, least of all me.” Hisao admitted with a sigh, his smile fading a little, though it was still present.

“I remembered a time when Christmas isn't just a holiday. It was a day where I could be happy with the people I love, and we could all spend the final days of the year being happy, regardless of how the year went. With this year being our first one in college, and a fresh start in a lot of ways, I figured it’d be nice to have that kind of feeling back.”

Hanako tensed up at the mention of that, her head turning downwards. “I-I’ve never really t-thought of it like that. C-Christmas was just another day to me, and I can’t remember if my parents celebrated it.”

Hisao looked at Hanako and couldn’t help but feel a little pity for her, even though he knew she wouldn’t like that. For someone to never experience the joys of Christmas, of opening a present with wondrous anticipation, it was almost unthinkable to him. It gave him a greater appreciation of his childhood, and reaffirmed his decision to be in the Christmas spirit.

“Well, that’s going to change,” Hisao declared loudly, almost emulating Emi in her brashness. “You’ve got me and Rin now, and Emi and Miki if they decide to come. We’ll make sure your Christmas will be something to remember fondly, and the Christmas after that, and the one after that as well.”

Hanako looked at him with wide eyes, before bursting into a giggle. It wasn’t one that mocked his declaration, but one that humorously recognized how committed he was in making such a loud announcement.

“T-Thank you, Hisao,” Hanako said, smiling a little more openly. “I-I know it’s not here yet, but Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Hisao responded gingerly as the two continued their way back towards Rin.

After a few minutes of walking, they finally reached her, in almost exactly the same position as she was when they left. Upon seeing the two, she finally got up from the bench and moved her body up and down, a weird motion that made them raise their eyebrows at her.

“I stayed still like a marble statue,” Rin explained as she continued to move up and down, almost as if she’s exercising. “But then my nose got itchy and I wanted to scratch it, but I wanted to stay still more, and the itchiness went away. But then I had this feeling in my body that made me want to move, even though my body didn’t really feel anything and I still wanted to stay still more, like a car engine starting even though the car wasn’t moving.”

Hisao took it in stride and walked to the bench, sitting down on it with a relaxed sigh. “Well, I’m feeling the exact opposite. I think I’ll just stay here for a while so you two can go buy my presents.”

Rin stopped and turned around to face him, blinking a few times. “What do you want as a gift?”

Hisao suppressed a smirk and simply shrugged. “I don’t know what I want, but I’m sure you can figure it out, Rin.”

“I’m not good at figuring things out, but I want to figure this out. I want to give you something you’ll like so you’ll like me, even though you already like me,” Rin stated, closing her eyes as she asked one last question. “Can I have some money? I’ll pay you back when we get home, or rather you’ll take my money from our room since I don’t like grabbing them with my feet.”

Hisao rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet, and gave Hanako around 10000 yen, which would hopefully be in the price range of what Rin wanted to buy for him.

With that settled, the two of them walked away and left Hisao alone on the bench, who simply relaxed as he looked at the gifts he bought for Hanako and Rin, hoping that they would be happy with them. A part of him conceded that his presence was probably the best gift he could have gotten them, what with their own turmoils in the past, and the two sticking by his side was likewise a gift of incomparable value.

He felt his phone buzzing and pulled it out, revealing a message, then several others soon after. Opening it, he found that some of his Yamaku contacts, high school friends, and even his parents wished him a Merry Christmas.

One by one, he replied back with well wishes of his own, trying his best to make each one as personalized as possible. With the exception of his parents, they were most likely celebrating Christmas with their families and friends, and he felt a bit of longing that he couldn’t see them in person. Still, he sent those messages with the hope that they were happy, wherever they were.

“Year’s almost over.” Hisao muttered to himself as he finished his last reply, slumping a little on his bench. Despite that fact being obvious, it is almost like a revelation to him. Something that he’s just found out for himself.

Another year is almost gone. Another year marching towards the unknown. To death, sooner or later.

He tried not to think about his own mortality, despite his more active stance in trying to stave it off. It was something that needlessly affected his mentality, and more than that was something Rin would more than likely pick up on, perceptive as she was. Despite her acceptance of his condition and what came with it, openly bringing it up always turned things more dour.

He had enough of that in recent years, starting with his stay at the hospital, his old life slowly crumbling apart. Unintentionally at first, he endeavoured for his life to be happier after he and Rin formalized their relationship, and had succeeded so far. He had a future in science, a loving girlfriend, and a small but reliable social circle.

Still, every now and then he’d have those moments of contemplation, of worry. That something would happen which would break the comfortable routine of his life, with his heart condition at the center of it all. It wasn’t even the fact that he would likely have a lower lifespan than Rin, but the sheer horror of not knowing when it might act up.

Would a flutter in ten years remain merely a flutter, or would it fester into something worse? Part of it was illogical paranoia, but only because the lack of a clear answer made it so.

Still, life needs to move on, and so must he. Perhaps that’s the true reason he was so eager to celebrate Christmas, to impart memories that the people close to him could look back upon once he was gone. For him to look back upon, like turning one’s head back to watch a sunset on the way home.

Always fleeting, but always beautiful. It never lasts, yet that’s part of why it has value.

He used his phone again, this time to look at the pictures he’d taken using it, which he had come to do over the past year. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular, merely reminiscing on a year that had been nothing short of lovely.

A photo of Rin painting on the balcony one night, another photo of the first time they would go to the ramen place, and another one where they went to a park to have a picnic. As he scrolled through all of the photos and their memories, he started to realize that he was never in them, as he was the one taking the photos.

This caused him to think about how many photos of him were there, which wasn’t much, all things considered. He had a framed photo of him and his friends at Yamaku, and a mandatory picture for his graduation yearbook, but not much else besides that.

As he was pondering that fact, he saw Rin and Hanako in the distance, walking towards him. Hanako was carrying two more black bags, which he knew was his present. Much like a child, he couldn’t help but wonder what they were, though he’d appreciate the sentiment regardless.

“W-Well,” Hanako said as the two reached the bench, and Hisao began to stand up, pocketing his phone. “I-I think that’s all the presents for us. N-Now we need something for Emi and Miki.”

“Something for a person without legs and a person without a hand,” Rin said, looking up as if she could find the answer there. “Maybe some chocolate? People like chocolate, even if they don’t have hands or legs or ears or eyes. The only people who don’t like it are statues and my uncle, and they don’t like food in general.”

“Not a bad idea,” Hisao responded, and decided to add. “Hey, thanks.”

“Hm?” Rin seemed perplexed by the sudden thanks. “What are you thanking us for? Is it because we bought you a present? But you also bought us a present so it evens out, like putting two boxes on a scale even though their price and weight might be different.”

“No, no that,” Hisao said with a chuckle, finding his worries dissipating. It always did when he was around Rin. “Just...thanks for everything, I guess. It’s hard to say how much you guys mean to me. I don’t think I can picture a better Christmas Eve.”

Hanako widened her eyes a little, though Rin simply nodded. “Me too, even though I know a better Christmas Eve can happen. This one is perfect, even if it really isn’t. Like an egg that’s overcooked but you still love eating it.”

Hisao went and wrapped an arm around Rin’s shoulder, which she accepted as she leaned her body onto his. Hanako simply smiled as the three of them walked off together in silence, all of them thinking the same thing.

In different ways, the three of them had never thought they’d be at this point in their lives, content and happy. Not so long ago, they felt isolated and alone, in a world that seemingly didn’t understand nor cared about them. But now they were living together, and suddenly that world seemed a little brighter, and the future not as ominous nor scary.

Another year had passed, and the three would continue to look forward towards the future. For them, the presents or the celebration were secondary to the true Christmas spirit, spending time with the people that mattered most.

END

That's an excellent Christmas story. I like me a good Rin. It was so good I had to re-read it to find the least Rin line in the whole thing, which was this:

“Hmm, I want to go shopping already,” Rin said, cracking a smile with a strip of bacon sticking out of her mouth.

But apart from that (and it's already a stretch), I really enjoyed myself.

Ah, my prompt was completed! It's a Christmas miracle!

Honestly, the prompt wasn't something I put a ton of thought into. I think I envisioned a sort of comedy-focused story, and when I realized Hanako and Rin would be interacting I thought that was what I was getting. In the end though, this really surpassed my expectations. There were some funny moments, but the enthusiasm and respect for the traditions of Christmas painted a much warmer and more comforting picture. For those of us who can't go back after facing the mundane realities of adulthood, Christmas can feel a little silly. But it still has the potential to facilitate a special sort of togetherness, and in this story we saw three people benefit from that who perhaps needed it more than most. Wonderful.

Hanako is still my favorite girl after all these years, and this story had an excellent depiction of her. I find myself as curious as Hisao about which of her two gifts she might like more, my guess could go either way. Like Brythain, I also appreciate some good Rin. I think I might need an insulin shot after that line about her nuzzling Hisao's neck when he's feeling down. Though to be honest I find it kind of hard to believe that Rin and Hanako wandering about a shopping mall together could go so well, even after two years of development

It comes from someone who's not currently a Rin fan (but your work is achieving a bit too much for my own sake to make me care about her, and even like her), but it was wholesome. Initially when I saw that Hanako and Rin were living together, I was like "Oh, it's comedy time". But what you did is better. You made something wholesome, cute, and heartwarming. I don't picture Hanako being friends with Rin at all, but you made this work. You made this work at a level I didn't expected. It works, as if it was obvious from the beginning, as if I was dumb to think anything else about them. Christmas is, in writing, one of my favorite periods of the year. And this piece is an example to explain why I love Christmas in writing, because of the Christmas spirit and meaning, and for moments of joy spent with loved ones. The interactions between Rin and Hisao are cute, especially what she does when she feels he needs comfort. And, I never thought I would be able to say that, but the interactions between Rin and Hanako are feeling... natural. Yeah.

I just have to say I loved this piece, and I'm on my way to like Rin thanks to you. And for that, thank you Emo. You did a great piece, as usual, and you deserve praise for that. The only down I would have to "complain" about is Rin being enthusiastic for a shopping trip. I don't sure it fits her well, but hey, it's up to you. Aside from that, it was a lovely piece, I really enjoyed reading it.

I agree it was a very nice story - if a bit saccharine...

When reading this Secret Santa Submissions I always think about what I would have done if that prompt had reached me. Most of the time I feel thankful that it didn't
This time I almost immediately had a picture in my mind of Hisao organizing a Christmas party with the Student Council and dragging Shizune along behind him for a change.