Well, it's right around Christmas, especially depending on your time zone, so here y'all go:
Dear Hisao
A small box, long-forgotten. Inside, a small collection of miniature cassettes - outdated even when they were new, but inexpensive and available.The memories all came flooding back.
Tape 1, Side A - 0212
*Click*
“Okay, so that light means it’s on, and it should start recording when I push th-”
*Click*
*Click*
“I think I got it this time. Does this work? Test, test.”
*Click*
*Click*
“Okay, now that I’ve figured out how this works, I guess I should get started. This feels so weird~.
“But~! The therapist said that this would help - if I talked to you, and kept a record of it. So that’s what I’m doing. Right here.
“So~! …
“...
“Uhm…
“...
“I guess a good place to start is to say that I’m sorry. The doctors say it wasn’t my fault. And no one at school seems to blame me. Even your parents have been treating me as if I were their own child. But I still feel responsible. And even if it’s not my fault, I still feel really really bad that it happened to you. So yeah…
“Sorry.”
*Click*
Tape 1, Side B - 0215
*Click*
“And here we are again.
“It’s funny, really. We barely talked to each other. I would just admire you from across the classroom. And you - you probably figured that I was the unapproachable one. If you had only asked, I’d have readily made time for you~.
“But that’s all in the past now. I’ve asked the doctors, but… they don’t know how long you’ll be like this. Days, weeks, months? No idea.
“And me? I’m not even sure what I should call you. I mean, Nakai would be appropriate, given our relationship as it is, but… what about what it could be? Before… all this… Just before, I called you Hisao, and, it was just a glimpse, but I thought you looked happy? Overjoyed, even~.
“It was probably just me imagining things, seeing what I wanted to see, but it’s just us here, and, to be honest, it’s kind of only me. So I might just call you Hisao.
“Or…
“Your mother… she calls you Hicchan. It’s such a cute name~. And you do kind of look like a Hicchan. Oh my, it makes me blush, talking to you in such a familiar manner.
“Shall we just keep this our little secret, Hicchan?”
*Click*
Tape 2, Side A - 0221
*Click*
“My, my, Hicchan, that was something, wasn’t it~? The whole class, sending their well-wishes with cards and flowers. It almost makes you forget the effort the teachers and Student Council went through to get it done. But still, it’s… nice.
“And now… well, now it feels like everyone’s used to you being gone. I’m sure your little group misses you, but even they realise they have to move on.
“It’s sad, really - for you, it’s the end, but for everyone else, well, life goes on. It
has to go on. But don’t think you’re forgotten. I mean, one of your friends even made this guest book, so that you’ll be able to see how much you’ve been missed, i-
when you get better. And look! Every day, it’s someone new, letting you know you aren’t forgotten! Isn’t that nice~?
“Well, not every day… And it’s not exactly
crowded. But there are people that care about you, and miss you.
“Get well soon, Hicchan. We’re all waiting for you~.”
*Click*
Tape 2, Side B - 0301
*Click*
“It’s been pretty quiet for you, hasn’t it? That book I told you about? The only names in it since my last visit are your parents...
“It’s not fair! I know that people can’t put their lives on hold for your sake, but this is absurd! Even with everything I have to do on the Student Council, I can find some time to come and visit. Why can’t anyone else?
“I promise you! I’ll always be here by your side, Hisao.
(Muted sobbing)
“I’ll w-wait for you…
“U-until you open your eyes, and wake up from-
(Sobbing)
“C-coma.”
(The recording continues for several minutes, until the tears eventually subside)
*Click*
Tape 3, Side A - 0314
*Click*
“I’m pretty pathetic, aren’t I? Here it is on White Day, and I just can’t let go. The doctors are… not optimistic.
“You obviously didn’t know, but… I made you chocolates. Not just friend chocolates, either. The box is right there, collecting a thin layer of dust. Too much to hope that you’ll give me a return gift, huh?
“... Yeah, that was a pretty bad joke, wasn’t it?
“...
“Third Year will be starting soon. I… won’t be able to visit as often. I’d tell you to take care of yourself, but… well…
“...
(Deep breath)
“I don’t know if I’ll have the chance to tell you this, but… I love you, Hisao. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! Don't go away, I beg of you. Never, ever go away. I love you, so please...!”
*Click*
Tape 3, Side B - 0323
*Click*
…
(Rough Scraping Sounds)
…
“Goodbye.”
*Click*
Tape 4, Side A - 0620
*Click*
“Dear Hisao,
“How are you? Everyone at school misses you. Almost all of our second-year class got put together in class 3-1 for the final year, so we are pretty comfortable right from the beginning of the year. I'm sure you would've been assigned to this class as well.
“The mood among the third-years seems to be very anxious about the final exams, even though they are so far away. The teachers are badgering us about it all the time - even old Mr. Tachibana who is, by the way, our homeroom teacher this year. Would you believe it? I was sure that he'd retire after our second year, but here he is, nagging everyone about studying for exams.
“I think things like that are the main reason why the mood among the third-years is so nervous. I must admit that I'm somehow losing confidence in myself as well, even though I've always fared reasonably well in exams.
“It's so weird to think we are already seniors, isn't it? Time has really flown past. I wonder where it went. The new first-years seem so young and somehow really innocent. I keep wondering if I was like them in my first year. I've been feeling nostalgic like this for the whole first trimester.
“There are other things I want to say. I'm writing to you because I felt that there are things I should've said after the incident back in winter. I really regret that I wasn't able to say them in person, and I have no excuse for it.
“I wanted to somehow express my feelings, but the right words didn't come to me. I couldn't say anything to comfort you. I am really sorry for not being able to support you when it mattered the most, even though I like you so much. At least now, finally, I can be more honest.
“If I could go back to those quiet days in February and March, I'd tell you to not give up on yourself. That's what I would say. Maybe you wouldn't have drifted so far away if I had just said something. I hope you manage to get back on your feet on your own.
“Now that the distance between us is more physical, it also feels more final, somehow. I wonder if we will meet again. Perhaps it's for the best if we don't?
“Still, I'd very much like to hear that you’ve recovered. I wish you all the best.
“Sincerely, Iwanako.
“...
“Somehow, I thought that would make this easier. Looks like it didn’t work.
“I didn’t mean to wait this long to come back. Things got so busy, and before I knew it a whole month had passed. And at that point, I was too embarrassed to come back. Pretty silly, huh? As if you’d give me a stern look of disapproval and ask why I hadn’t visited. One month became two, and then here we are now.
“My god, you’ve gotten so thin. And pale. I know the doctors are taking good care of you, but… it’s hard to see you like this.
“Anyway, I came here to apologise. And to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness I know that you can’t give me. So here’s what I’m going to do: every two weeks, I’ll make a point of visiting. I’ll find something to talk about, so you can look forward to my visits. And if I miss one… Then I’ll visit two additional times to make it up to you. Because you’re worth it.
*Click*
Tape 4, Side B - 0704
*Click*
“I made it, Hicchan~.
“Guess what? Today’s my birthday. I’m sure when I get home, there will be a big party. But you know what? It kind of feels fake, the way my parents make a big deal of it. I wish they acted like I mattered any other day of the year. My father’s pretty important for a big company up in Hokkaido. They’re working on making inroads into business overseas. But even when he’s right in front of me, it feels like my father’s in another country - I don’t think I’ve been able to really talk to him since I was six. The few times he seems to notice me, it’s just lecturing me on how I’m not living up to my potential. And the worst part? He’s probably right.
“I don’t know. I just kind of feel like I’m drowning. For all my struggles, and everything I do, it never feels enough. Have you ever felt that way?
“...
“See you in a couple weeks. Unless you decide you can’t wait - that would be okay, too~.”
*Click*
Tape 5, Side A - 0718
*Click*
“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m kinda using you as an excuse to escape from exams.
“You want to know what first made me like you? I mean, on a more personal level - not just ‘Hey, he’s got a cute butt…’
“It was a little over two years ago now. Back then, I was in the Track Club. I’m not even sure why - I don’t really have the legs for it. But I gave it my all, all the same. You were at one of our meets to cheer on that girl you’d always hang out with. I think her name was Mai?
“Anyway, after the race was over, you came down to congratulate her. I still don’t understand why, but you noticed that I was cold, and gave me your jacket without thinking. You’re always thoughtful like that, in your thoughtless kind of way. I know it’s probably really weird, but I still have that jacket. Ahaha~, I wonder if you even remember, or knew that it was me - I changed a lot that year, and I don’t think you recognised me when we were in the same class second year.
“...
“That’s a pretty embarrassing story, now that I say it out loud. I guess I am a bit of a weirdo.”
*Click*
Tape 5, Side B - 0801
*Click*
“Exams are over now. I can breathe a little easier. Summer break is coming soon.
“... I sometimes wonder - are you in there somewhere, listening, but unable to speak up? Desperately shouting ‘I am here!’ through a body that won’t cooperate? Or is it more like a dream? You’re hanging out in your own little world, having dreams and adventures while the world out here passes you by.
“I can’t decide which feels more sad.
“...
“Now that the end of high school looms large, my mind keeps wandering back to the Student Council. Did I tell you that I’m President now? It’s a lot of work, but there’s something nice about being in charge, working ourselves to the bone so we can accomplish big things for the school at large. Even if no one says thanks, it feels good seeing people enjoy the fruits of our labor.
“I’ll admit that this work ethic scared off a few members, but I feel that the people who left were only interested in making their university applications look nicer. I get so frustrated when people seek out positions of power and are then so lazy - taking advantage of the perks without putting in the work.
“I want to make sure it’s in good hands. So I think I want to try holding elections early this year. That’s not silly, is it? At least, not
too silly?
“I’m glad you agree.”
*Click*
Tape 6 Side A - 0801
*Click*
“Surprise~! I came again early~!
“...
“Yeah, you guessed it. A romantic occasion and no one to share it with. I really
can’t move on, can I? Half a year and I’m still in love with the boy in a coma. Is this going to continue for a year? Five? Ten? Fifty?
“I think about that, and it occurs to me - I don’t think I’d mind that. One more chance to see you smile - even if it’s not directed at me. Just to see that, I think I could die happy.
“...
“Yes, I
know that people celebrate Tanabata in July these days. I just… have a fondness for the traditional date. I don’t know why. It’s such a beautiful story, too - two lovers, separated for an eternity, only able to meet one day a year.
“...I’m such a dreamer, aren’t I? Here I am, falling apart over you, and I honestly don’t know if you were even going to accept my confession! It’s amazing that the doctors, nurses, and your parents have been humoring me for so long.
“...maybe I should give up. You wouldn’t blame me, would you? No sense wasting my life here, right? I’ve got a long life ahead of me! I’m young, and healthy, and-
“And so stupid and selfish and unthinking. I can’t do that to you. My mind goes back to the second you saw me, just before everything went to hell. I can swear you looked like the happiest man on earth. So, until you wake up, please, let me have this dream.”
...
...
“Miss? A moment please.”
(Departing Footsteps)
(Muffled talking)
“...na...ko…”
*Click*
--------------------------------------------
As the tape ended, Iwanako felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around her waist.
“You know, ‘nako, I never knew you had those tapes, but I’ve got the damnedest feeling that I’d heard them before.”
Standing up, she turned around to face her husband, planting a quick peck on his lips.
“Well, you were there, weren’t you?”
“A cute butt, eh?”
“Oh, grow up!”
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Victim: Tetrax
Prompt: one of the katawa, after ten or so years, found an old recording of themselves "talking" to their future selves (topic can be whatever the writer wants)
A little bit of an explanation/semi apology. You see, this fic is actually something that's been floating in my head for about 8 years, from a much older prompt. As such, it's not exactly what was wished for, but this was probably the best chance I'd have for this to escape from my brain. Hope you enjoyed it!