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Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 11:44 pm
by brythain
bubeez wrote:Thanks for keeping with my story so far. I have a feeling this is gonna turn into a long-term project.
That's wonderful! One thing I like about this fanfic section is how long-term so many of these projects turn out to be.
The mean time between posts may be high, and there may be unexpected developments, but tomorrow is not doomed.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 1:16 am
by FelOnyx
brythain wrote:bubeez wrote:Thanks for keeping with my story so far. I have a feeling this is gonna turn into a long-term project.
That's wonderful! One thing I like about this fanfic section is how long-term so many of these projects turn out to be.
The mean time between posts may be high, and there may be unexpected developments, but tomorrow is not doomed.
Were you blessed by the pun fairy as a child?
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:05 am
by brythain
FelOnyx wrote:Were you blessed by the pun fairy as a child?
No… I think that was the girl with the long hair who was locked up in a tower by an evil witch.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:17 am
by Mirage_GSM
A friend of Hanako, whose in Class 3-3
"who's" or "who is"
But the way to 3-3 is a complex maze. I’ve already forgotten which turns to take.
It's actually the room next door...
since we’re earlier than usual.”
You said he did this at different times each day...
I thought it took a bit too long for the shoe to drop at the beginning, when she was in the wrong classroom.
Other than that, nice chapter. I hope you'll elaborate on the last sentence next time.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:34 am
by emmjay
So Lilly, Shizune, and Emi all make appearances, and Hanako gets a mention. Can Rin be far behind? That's gonna be a conversation to see.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:35 am
by Leaty
I'm liking this so far, but I admit I'm disappointed that this story's not compatible with
Suriko's vision of the Astronomy Club, which I consider canonical.
Other than that, it's a pretty fun read. I hope you have no trouble keeping it going.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:55 pm
by Silentcook
Oh, Goddammit.
brythain, Sorry Corner. You. Now.
And tell them to STOP giving you a personalized name tag, while you're at it.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 1:20 pm
by Comrade
Can we not just execute him?
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 6:42 pm
by bubeez
Sorry for the long pause between chapters, I had to worry about midterms. Anyway, this is only part one of this chapter. The other part (or parts) will be done and posted some time this weekend, I just wanted to make sure something new was out by today. Hope you enjoy, and any feedback would be much appreciated.
Can You Remember Me? Chapter 4 (Part 1)
“…and so I forget a lot of details. That’s how it goes.” I exhale, letting my next breath become a sigh, with closed eyes for emphasis. This is the second time I’m explaining it this morning, so the charm of pointing out my weaknesses has died down quite a bit.
“Oh! I get it!” Emi smiles in victory.
Emi makes a balled fist, slamming it down onto her other palm. Her proclamation echoes through the empty halls, possibly reaching into the classrooms lined up on the left side of us. No one comes out to investigate the source of the noise, though. As we walk past them, I take note of the class number. I don’t see 3-3 among the rooms, so it makes me wonder if Emi even knows where to go. She promised the Nurse that she did… but then again, she doesn’t seem like the “planning” type. She’s more like the “Wherever-we’re-going-let’s-get-there-fast” type. Now that I think about it, this is far from a leisurely pace. I’m swinging my arms for balance now, and I’m a little winded, but Emi seems to be… accelerating.
“Uhh… are you sure you know where you’re going?” I ask, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.
“Sure I do! It’s a left, then a right, two floors down, a left, another left, aaand the door is on the right!” Emi confidently points her finger into the air ahead of us. Somehow, this makes me more suspicious that she’s as lost as I am right now…
It takes half an hour, but we make it back to Room 3-3.
As I stop in front of the classroom door, I notice that my tiny tour guide is still gliding down the hall, completely unaware that we’ve reached my stop.
Just as I get ready to call out to her, she twitches her head upward like electricity just coursed through her body. With amazing speed, she does a complete turn and sprints down the hall until she’s face-to-face with me again. Well, her face is pointed upwards and mine is pointed downwards at her.
She’s a comet. Definitely a comet. I can imagine her zipping around the universe like it’s her playground, darting through deep space with a confident look and daring anyone to get in her way. If you’re lucky, you can catch a glimpse of her as she passes through your lens. But beware, she stops for nobody. The Comet speaks up at me, her two fists clutched near her chest.
“Hey! Why did you stop?” she says with a pouting face.
I’m hit by a wave of cuteness, which happens too often around her. I need that kind of talent, but I don’t know if I can pull it off. My hair is cut too short for twintails… and black hair is kind of boring…
“Well, uh… we’re here already.” I say, pointing up at the small plaque above the door in front of us that reads “3-3.” She follows my finger up to the sign, and she takes a moment to grasp the situation.
She looks at me again. Her hands move to her hips, and she puffs her chest outward. Her eyes are closed, but still looking proud with her confident smirk.
“See! I knew I could get us here!” she says, keeping her ‘mission accomplished’ stance in perfect form. I roll my eyes, but she’s too busy with her pose to notice anything I’m doing.
“You sure you don’t have a memory problem too?” I say, closing my eyes and smiling in sarcastic perfection. She puts her finger to her lips and looks up in wonder.
“Hmm… not sure!” The Comet says conclusively with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Well, we got here eventually.” I say with what I hope is a bright smile. “Thanks, uh…”
Blank. Oh no. Shut down, close eyes, think hard. Her name. What. Is Her. Name. It’s not Comet, I made that up. But now it’s the only name I can imagine. Oh no. Time’s up, I can’t take the pressure.
Well, what’s the worst that could happen?
“Comet.”
We both freeze. I try to give a nervous, cheesy grin to go with my worried look. Please don’t be hurt. You’re too adorable. I’ll feel like I kicked a puppy or something.
The silence is unbearable. Every second suddenly becomes a decade, just waiting for an angry look, or a cold stare, or a disappointed turn and run. She looks down at the ground, her hand on her chin. The Comet’s looking puzzled, or just plain troubled by something. She’s scaring me with her intense concentration. Maybe she’s like a detective unravelling a case, taking in every fact she knows and churning out an answer, thousands of calculations blazing through her mind about why I called her “Comet,” deducing her next course of action with perfect social precision…
Finally, she looks back up. Her concentration is gone. She has what she needs to say. I’m scared I was right about her genius detective mind.
“I can’t think of a better nickname than that… I guess I’ll just call you Seiki!” The Comet shoots a wink and a smile at me. I take a mental sigh of relief. Okay, definitely not a detective. She’s still a charmer, though. Whenever I see that smile, it feels like I’ve done something right. Yeah, that nickname was genius! I deserve a pat on the back.
“Well what if I want a cool nickname?” I say with enough of a whining voice to be obviously sarcastic.
Emi stomps her running blade on the ground, and responds with an equally whining voice.
“Give me some time, Seiki! I can’t just beat ‘Comet’ in an instant, you know!”I can’t tell if she’s being serious or matching my sarcasm, but I like the back and forth.
“Well do you have any ideas now, Comet?”
“No! We’re not all genius nickname givers! And it’s been like, ten seconds since you asked me!”
“Ooh. ‘Genius.’ I like that. A little too flattering, but it has a nice ring to it.” I really, really like pushing her buttons. Priceless.
“I’m not calling you ‘genius’! That’s lame, Seiki!”
“But I’d feel naked without a nickname!”
“Aaaahh! Just give me a few days!”
“A few days? Let’s see if I can even remember y-“
I stop dead in my tracks. All the heat dissipates from me and I’m left with a cold shiver running through my body. Too far. I took it too far. I forgot that my humor isn’t everyone else’s. I forgot that the empty spaces in my head can hurt someone other than me. Just like what happened with Suzu earlier… No, this is different. The Comet doesn’t know me as well as Suzu does, and she certainly doesn’t know me.
Do I even know me? I’m filled with holes. I don’t know exactly what happened twenty minutes ago. I don’t know how to get to my classroom every day. I don’t know how to remember that my best friend is freezing on the roof. How do I even count as a friend if I might not remember her in a few years? How do I know I exist if my living proof is constantly being erased?
“Hey, Seiki. What’s wrong?” The Comet snaps me out of my depressing spiral. Her smile has been replaced with a look of concern, trying to meet my eyes that are out of focus. I wonder if she knew what I said.
“It’s nothing.” I tilt my head a little and smile shallowly.
“Well, if you’re sure, Seiki.” The Comet hands me the permission slip given to her by the Nurse. He insisted that I would forget it’s in my hand and I would drop it on the way. Good call, Nurse.
I read over the permission slip, something catching my attention. It’s the usual check marks in the usual boxes, followed by his signature. The everyday stuff. I’ve never seen him write anything in the comment box on the slip, though. Huh.
I read over his little note in cursive. It reads: “Her name is Emi if you forget.”
Nurse, you sly devil. I’ll have to thank him tomorrow.
“Bye, Emi. Thanks for walking me to class. I’ll see you around, okay?” I was about to add that I might not remember her, but I’m not going to try and sour the mood again.
“Okay! I’ll have a good nickname for you next time, I promise!” Emi is back to her usual self, and I’m glad she didn’t make a big deal about it.
She bounces back down the hall without another word. I look at the little note that the Nurse wrote for me and crumple it in my hand.
It’s been a pathetic morning. I’ve been saved three times today: once from a blind girl, once from a girl with no legs, and once from a school nurse. All so I can have a normal day. That’s not even the worst part. The thing is, I don’t even remember how Lilly looks. No matter how much I want to remember, the amount of details I ever remember is beyond me. If Lilly or Emi ever came up to me and talked to me as a friend, there’s a chance I wouldn’t even know who either of them were. And even if I remembered who they were… any moments we shared, any inside jokes, any… nicknames… there’s only a chance I might remember that too.
How could I do that to anyone? How could I force that burden on a person who DOES remember?
It’s not that they can’t be my friends, it’s that I could never hope to return the favor. It’s selfish of me to want friends, and it’s selfish of me to expect anyone to be my friend.
With that conclusion, I drop the subject. I need to go to class. I enter the classroom almost an hour late.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:02 pm
by AntonSlavik020
That was fun. Loved the comet part. As a side note, it may not be the best idea for Seiki to come up with nicknames for people, at least until she has their real names down.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 4:21 pm
by bubeez
Can You Remember Me? Chapter 4 Part 2
I reach for the metal handle of Class 3-3. I wonder what boring lecture Mutou is droning on about. I wonder if I can remember the names I’ve learned today.
There's someone in my seat.
I sit back down in the hallway, wondering about the boy who took my seat in class. Wondering about the boy, who I saw in the small glass window of the door, looking concerned about something or another. His face is focused but distracted at the same time. His hair matches his weariness with its faded brown, almost gray color. His eyes tell the same story. A diminishing light, slowly fading as the seconds tick away. Eyes that are becoming shallow with worry, almost despair. Eyes that are fighting to hold up a fake smile.
He’s a star that just realized the darkness of space that surrounds him. I’ve seen that look before. It was the same look I had, back in my first day of class. The day I first transferred to Yamaku two years ago.
I still have that look. Eyes lost in time. I wonder if he’s worried about that, too.
His eyes are sweeping across the classroom, taking in the information of the room. His eyes almost meet mine, but I duck down in time. I move away from the glass window of the door. For some reason, I’m afraid to look into his eyes. Like he’ll figure me out in seconds the moment he sees me. So I retreat back into the hallway. I’m blushing, hiding my face in my hands, my fingers meeting the bangs of my hair. I’ve done a lot of talking today, but I’m still too shy for such a romantic gesture.
That boy is another curveball to my regular day. Another constant that shifts to a variable. I can barely comprehend how strange this day feels. It feels like I’ve jumped into a different dimension where interesting things happen to me.
I decide that, at least in this weird dimension, I’m not meant to go to class today. I’ll deal with the consequences later. I wander around the halls, a tragic hero with no place left to go. I’m still holding the pass from the Nurse in case a teacher stops me. Luckily, the Nurse is always too lazy to write down the time. I have about ten minutes until the lunch break, so I decide to visit the roof. Roofs are reliable and have a nice view, just what I like. The only directions you need to find a roof is ‘up.’
I find the stairs and head all the way to the top. As I open the door to the roof, the brightness forces me to squint as I enter. It’s a nice, breezy day without a cloud in the sky. I sit on a bench at the far end of the roof, now facing the door to the stairs. The sun is pouring down on me, a radiant warmth enveloping me. I look up at the bright fireball in the sky, and its reminding me of someone I met today. No picture, no name. Just someone that I’m sure exists and I’ve met.
The sun keeps shining on me as I try to collect memories of this person. I bet you never had a crisis like this, you damned celestial body. I bet you’re sure who you are. You’re the sun, and that’s all you have ever been and need to be. You’ll never wonder what it means to be a person, to have meaningful memories, to have a past. You’ll never ask what I need to ask myself every day- who, when, why, how. I’m sure the person I’m trying to remember isn’t nearly as condescending as the sun.
After I’ve had enough of basking in the sunlight and my subsequent misery, I head back down the stairs, but… Why was I up there in the first place? It’s still a minute before classes are released. There’s a pass in my hand from the Nurse, but there’s no time I was excused. Did I go to class today? I head down the steps in confusion, but I won’t question it further. Life takes me where it wants to go.
Apparently, life has no idea where it wants me to go either. I stop after two flights of stairs. I have no idea what floor my classroom is, or if I even need to go back to class. Suzu could probably tell me where I’ve been or what I was doing. I unbutton my arm sleeve. “3-3.” Ahh. The facts. Certainty. Safety.
As I move the buttons back together on my sleeve, I hear the apocalypse beginning. The end of times pounding my ears from every direction as I stand, dumbfounded on the stairs. Lunch time. The doors crack open like a whip, a mob of green and white uniforms erupting out of each hallway. I get swept up in the madness. All I can do is shuffle along the stairs with the crowd.
I’m spit out of the river of students and find myself in an unfamiliar hallway. Well, every hallway is unfamiliar. The classroom numbers hanging above the doors don’t match “3-3.” So much for getting lucky and landing on the right floor. I look back at the hallway, into the blur of uniforms and hungry students. I’m not very interested in joining the carnage. I turn to the other side of the hall, looking for another escape. Another wave of students is heading for the stairs, the sound of polished shoes and crutches now surrounding me. Stuck between an immovable object and an unstoppable force, I dive into the nearest classroom to escape.
I shut the door behind me, taking cover in an empty classroom. The shouting voices are muffled. Only the occasional, booming laugh disturbs the peace, but those sounds pass as quickly as they came.
I stay by the door, listening to the hum of the students outside, waiting until the hallway is safe again. My ear is pressed against the door, listening carefully. My eyes are closed to focus more on the sound outside. I must look like a master thief, the sound of stomping feet like the tumblers in a lock.
It’s quiet in the hallway now. Just as I move my face from the door, a girl’s voice comes from behind.
“Are you talk-“
“Ahhh!” SMACK. My face slams back into the door, still warm from where my cheek was pressed on it earlier. I didn’t notice anyone was in the room with me. My face is numb from the impact, and a mixed feeling of shame and embarrassment fills me. I feel like I got up too fast. The voice says nothing, so I try to make contact while my vision is still blurry. I’m still facing the door, though.
“…Hello?”
I wait for an answer, my hands rubbing my eyes to hide some embarrassing tears.
“Polo.” The voice says. Definitely feminine. Calm. Deadpan. I’m not sure I heard her right.
“…What?”
The last of my tears are wiped away, I turn around to get a look at the person behind the voice. When I turn around, her face is inches- no, centimeters, from mine. The only detail I catch is her large, green eyes. I jump in surprise, not knowing she was right behind me. My small flinch twitches me forward ever so slightly. This wouldn’t be a problem… if her face wasn’t leaning in at the exact same moment.
Oh no. I can only watch in slow motion as my face slowly meets hers, too late to stop.
Kiss.
“Mmmph!” I say, pulling back from the strange girl as quickly as I can.
Her eyes stay open the entire time, only shifting her eyebrows slightly. She still says nothing. My first kiss. And it’s with a girl who I don’t even know. Yet, I’m compelled to blush and cover my face anyway.
I finally see the mystery girl. Dark, red hair. Messy and slightly wild, but it seems to glow slightly with its redness. Her eyes are large, receptive fields of green, and her short bangs only make them seem bigger. Oddly, she’s wearing a guy’s uniform, with a tie and pants. And she’s tied knots on each arm sleeve, but… where are the arms?
Oh, right. I’m at Yamaku. Even when caught off guard, disabilities are not all that surprising anymore.
She blinks a few times, like she’s just finished a train of thought and is ready to start another.
“I said ‘Polo.’”
Another deadpan delivery. Is she just going to ignore the fact that we just kissed?
….
….
I’m not okay with this. My first kiss was just ignored? Sure, I might forget it later, but it’s fresh in my mind.... I swallow my feelings anyway, and go along with her lack of interest.
“Why did you say ‘Polo’ anyway?” I ask.
“Like the game.” She says, her eyes meeting mine. She doesn’t even notice my reddened face.
“Do you mean Marco Polo?”
“Yes.”
“I never said ‘Marco’ though.” Have I said anything that even sounds remotely like that word?
She speaks again with the same, stoic look. “I thought you were counting. Or talking to the door. I like to do that sometimes, too.”
“You talk to doors?”
“Sometimes. When they are hard to open. You were talking to the door, too.” Oh. I probably looked strange when I was waiting at the door. She keeps on talking. “Are you deaf? I thought you might be since you could not listen to the door. You had to lean in very close to it.”
“No, I’m not deaf. Is that why you leaned in to me? And we… err… accidentally...”
“Yes. I thought you might not hear me.”
“Oh. Well why didn’t you say anything before? I was in the room for a long time.”
“I think you are strange.” Oh. She thinks I’m the weird one? What the...
I reply, slightly offended. “Well I think you’re strange.”
She smiles slightly. It’s more like just a slight curve of her lips, like she made a clever joke. I’m glad she made the conversation a little less tense, though.
“Oh. That is good.” She says with her satisfactory smile.
“It’s good that I think you’re strange?”
“Yes. If you didn’t think I was strange, you would be quite strange.”
Is she self-conscious about how weird she can be? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like that. I like her, though. She talks in a roundabout way, but I appreciate that some conversations don’t have to go anywhere. It’s comforting how casual she seems to be. I guess I can be too?
“My name is Seiki. Class... uhh…” I forgot again.
“Say… key?”
“Yup, you got it.”
I wait for her to introduce herself. That’s just common courtesy, right? But she does nothing but sway gently left and right, her vacant arm sleeves dangling to her sides. I don’t think she plans on introducing herself.
“So what’s your na-“
“Rin.”
She’s rude, but in a funny way. And as far as I can tell, completely unintentional. I decide not to ask for her homeroom; I get the distinct feeling she doesn’t know it either. I tell her what’s really on my mind instead.
“Oh, by the way. You were…ehh… my first kiss.”
“It was nice.”
And that’s all she says. What do I need to do to get a little reaction from her?! It was a FIRST. KISS.
I decide not to press the matter. It might be better to forget it even happened. Rin is now preoccupied with staring at the chalkboard, which is just as empty as the classroom. I wonder what she could be looking at?
“So, I have to go get lunch now. Do you want to come, Rin?” I ask. I really do like her company. I think Suzu would like her too- they both space out just as much.
Rin points to a small box on a desk near her. Oh, she has her own lunch. How did she… you know… make that? Hands might be a requirement for cooking…
“Are we friends?”
Rin blindsides me with this question. Well, I do like her. And she was my first kiss, which she sort of complimented me on. ‘It was nice’ counts, right? I’m a good kisser?
“If you want to be friends, sure.”
I don’t want to mention the amnesia.
“I have never kissed a friend before, though. Does that make us not-friends?” Rin is still staring me down with those huge, green eyes.
“I don’t think so. I think we can still be friends. Only boyfriends and girlfriends kiss each other… and it was an accident!” It was an accident. I hope she realizes that.
“I’ll call you my girlfriend. That way you are still my friend too.” Rin’s smile returns, and she seems resolved. I don’t feel very resolved, though.
“Ahh…Please refrain from calling me that.” I’m not offended, but I’m not prepared for the disaster that would be.
“I wonder what Emi will think. She will probably laugh.” Rin says, avoiding my request completely. “Do you know Emi? She is the opposite of me.”
“How is she the opposite of you?”
“She has arms but no legs. I have legs but no arms. She runs faster, though.”
Well, this is Yamaku. I’m sure I’ve seen someone who fits the description… and we do have athletes. I don’t know anyone who runs with no legs, though.
“Sorry. I don’t know anyone like that.”
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:37 pm
by AntonSlavik020
bubeez wrote:Apparently, life has no idea where it wants me to go either.
That was hilarious. I actually laughed out loud at that.
Anyway, that was a very sudden end to that chapter. Almost like there should have been a bit more. Besides that, I enjoyed it as always. I was actually thinking about a half hour ago when the next update will be, then I come home and bam. Here it is.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:38 am
by bubeez
Thanks for the input! It really motivates me to know that someone enjoyed what I wrote.
Anyway, about the abruptness of the last chapter. I decided that I need a hard deadline for an update, even if the length suffers because of it. Do you think I should keep it that way, with more constant updates by breaking chapters into parts, or should I wrap up entire scenes in a large post? I could do either, but what do you think about it?
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:31 am
by emmjay
Well, I was right. That was a conversation to see. You write a pretty good Rin.
bubeez wrote:Anyway, about the abruptness of the last chapter. I decided that I need a hard deadline for an update, even if the length suffers because of it. Do you think I should keep it that way, with more constant updates by breaking chapters into parts, or should I wrap up entire scenes in a large post? I could do either, but what do you think about it?
Personally, I'm willing to wait a while for a fuller chapter. As long as you don't start releasing on
Valve Time.
Re: Can You Remember Me? An Amnesiac Story
Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:09 am
by AntonSlavik020
Agreed. Quality over quantity, as they say.