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It's been a month and a half but we're back. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and fleshing out a bit of Fujisawa's character. Sadly, the academic year starts next week so I'm not sure when I'll be able to work on the next chapter, since it's already proving difficult to map out for reasons that should become quite obvious by the end of this chapter, but I'll try my best. And with that, enjoy

<<Chapter 7
CHAPTER 8

“Coming! Give me a second!”

The door is as plain as the neighborhood, which is also as plain as the apartments in the building are small. It’s hard to imagine the size from the outside, but given how close the doors are, Rin wonders if someone with arms could stand with them wide open in any of them. That flight of stairs she just used also worries her, since there doesn’t seem to be any alternative method of reaching the upper floors. The sound of the plain door opening stops her thoughts.

“Tezuka? Is everything okay? Isn’t Ibarazaki with you?” It’s an unexpected sight to catch Fujisawa without their cane, but given how cramped the interior seems to be it’s not like they’re lacking for places to lean on.

“Something happened. I want to talk.”

“Erm… sure, wanna come in? It’s not exactly tidy but something tells me you won’t really care.”

Rin steps inside, trying carefully not to come into contact with Fujisawa, which proves quite difficult. The inside of the apartment is plain and simple: a single space with a futon on one side, a desktop and chair beside it and a table with a microwave and a portable ceramic stove on top. The walls are covered in polaroid pictures that depict Fujisawa with countless other faces, as well as paintings with a childlike approach to coloring and composition. Rin can’t help stare at it all, trying to find a motif or direction, to no avail. In all the photos, at least, the subjects are smiling wide.

“Would love to offer you some place to sit, but I only have that chair and… well, the futon. Which is out because I was asleep, in case you were wondering.”

“I can sit on the floor. I often sit on the floor while I’m painting, I have comfortable buttocks. You can call me Rin. We need to be friends now,” she establishes, while leaving her bag on the floor and sitting with her back to the wall.

“Sure, you can call me Sayo as well. So, what happened? Did you have a fight with Ibarazaki? Should I make some tea?”

“We kissed,” by reminding herself of that fact she feels butterflies inside her stomach. She just hopes they don’t eat the rice crackers Emi brought her.

“Oh…,” they sit on the chair, their face an indecipherable expression. “Okay, I’m not going to say I did not see this coming, but you telling me is kinda shocking. So, how are you two feeling?”

“I don’t know how she’s feeling. I don’t know how I’m feeling. I wanted to do it so I told her but then she accepted and we kissed and she said it was nicer than she expected and I wanted to keep going but she stopped and now when I think about it the butterflies bat their wings so hard that I want to start laughing but I don’t want to laugh-”

“Woah there, Tez-erm, Rin. It’s okay. Feelings are confusing, I get it. Stop and breathe for me.”

Rin nods and starts breathing consciously. The butterflies are not gone, but they’re calmer.

“Am I in love?”

“That’s not for me to say, but up for you to decide.”

“Love happens to you. You don’t decide,” Rin doesn’t know what love feels like, but she knows it’s like a spell. It is inflicted upon you by powers outside human cognition, and you have to either suffer or enjoy its consequences.

“Attraction does. Not love, or at the very least I don’t think so. And it’s perfectly reasonable to confuse the two,” they stand up from the chair and take some tea leaves off a container on the microwave table. “Ibarazaki is a very attractive person, in both personality and appearance, and you have history together, no wonder you’re confused. Love is a choice you make, and it’s not an exclusively individual one. I’m glad you came to me, but you have to talk to her if you… want to love her.”

“And how do I know if I want to?”

“How do you know what you want to paint when you do?”

“I don’t. Only sometimes. I start painting and then the canvas asks what it wants to have on it.”

“Well, there you go, start painting,” they finish pouring the tea and put a straw in one of the glasses. “I don’t trust myself with carrying the tea over there, do you mind if I leave it on the floor down here?”

Rin nods and stands up. “So I need to go back to my workshop?”

“Sorry, I meant that you should start talking and stop trying to figure out what you want in an abstract sense. Don’t feel constrained by what love is supposed to mean and start feeling what it means for you specifically,” they sip on the green beverage, slowly and carefully. “Your relationship is already well outside the norm, don’t try to follow what is expected of you because I can assure you there’s nothing there.”

“I will talk to Emi. And I will start asking what I want to have on me,” Rin concludes, already sitting and sipping on her tea.

“Probably Ibarazaki, but who’s to say,” Sayo laughs, unprompted. “Anyway, hope this conversation helped somewhat, Rin. I can get pretty intense about these things.”

“You helped. Who are the people in the pictures? Are the paintings yours?”

“Those would be family and loved ones, basically. And the paintings are either from my little cousins’ or my friends' siblings’. I have a soft spot for childrens drawings, I’m sure you understand.”

“They don’t need the canvas to tell them. They know what to paint,” Rin pauses, wondering about the obvious absence. “Where’s the camera?”

“Back home. It’s been a while since I’ve taken any pictures.”

“You should bring it here. We’re friends now, so we can have a picture. I don’t know if I’ll smile that wide. Emi will.”

“Maybe someday, who knows,” they answer, with a somewhat lower tone of voice.

Rin stares at the whole wall, moving her eyes from picture to picture. She’s finally able to catch another pattern. “That person, with the long, black hair. She’s in a lot of places.”

“That’s my partner, Mayuri. We’ve been together for almost five years now. I don’t get intense with these things for nothing, we used to travel everywhere because of her job, and she’s the love of my life. You have a keen eye, Rin.”

“Where is she? Outside the pictures,” she clarifies.

“Spain, at least for a little while. In other circumstances I would’ve been there with her but, well, traveling in my condition is kind of impossible, at least right now. She’ll be visiting in a couple months.”

“Can you love her if she’s so far away?” Rin thinks about the comments Emi made a while back, of the possibility of them not seeing each other for years.

“Hey, I’m not going to say it’s always easy, but I do. We talk everyday, and we miss each other a lot, painfully sometimes. But, again, the norm is nothing more than a tool: if it helps you, good for you; if not, just don’t use it.”

“Can I talk to Emi about this?”

“Sure, it’s not a secret or anything, I’m just not used to talking about my personal life, but if it helps, go for it!” Sayo pauses for a little while, as if waiting for something to happen. “And… maybe we can hang out when she comes to visit, if you want. She knows about you two.”

“Okay,” Rin sits down and starts sipping on her tea again. It’s quite plain tasting, but it nonetheless contributes to finally stopping the butterflies from batting their wings. “Is the neuromyelitis recent, then?”

“I… don’t really want to talk about that, Rin. I know there’s no ill will from you, but it’s a difficult topic for me. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. My arms were deformed at birth, and they had to do surgery to remove them. So it was a long time ago,” since they’re not comfortable talking about it, it would probably be easier if she shared her situation.

“I… see. I guessed as much from the way you talked about it. You don’t have to explain anything, though, really.”

“I want you and Emi to be comfortable. My arms aren’t uncomfortable, but people are sometimes.”

“That’s nice of you, Rin. I’m working on it and I’m sure Ibarazaki is, too, to some extent. You said it best, it’s quite different when you haven’t lived your whole life like this.”

“Okay,” Rin wonders if what she said was appropriate. “I don’t want to be the uncomfortable people. Sorry.”

“You’re fine, don’t worry too much. Ibarazaki is right, you may seem aloof and distant, but you’re actually surprisingly nice and considerate, in your own way. I’m glad I’m getting to know you better… even if it’s to help with relationship troubles. Not like I don’t enjoy gossip,” the glass of tea over their mouth doesn’t manage to hide their smile.

Rin finishes the last of her tea and stands up again. “I’m going back to my room. Emi’s there. She’s having prosthetic troubles.”

“Crap, is there anything I can do to help?”

Rin wasn’t aware that Sayo had that kind of knowledge. “Do you have the tools to fix an ankle suspension?” she asks, since the room seems a bit barren for that kind of equipment.

“I wasn’t even aware ankles had suspension so I’m going to guess that no, I don’t.”

“Okay. Bye,” Rin says, approaching the door.

“Oh, see you, then! Please close the door if you can!” Sayo's voice is already little more than a muffled sound.

The Sun is already down by the time she reaches the dorms. Sayo’s helped give words to her thoughts, but she can’t stop thinking about all that’s happened so far. What if she decides she wants to love Emi but Emi doesn’t decide to love her back? What if she does, but it’s hard like it happened to Sayo and Mayuri? Sayo told her to talk, but she’s not good with words. Emi understands her, but not always. What if the talking doesn’t go well? What if what Sayo told her doesn’t reach Emi? What if she says something she doesn’t mean to? What if Emi gets mad? What if they stop seeing each other but Emi doesn’t think about her? What if their relationship changes? What if Emi changes? What if-

“Rin?” Emi’s standing right in front of her, the door to their room open. “How long have you been there? I was just going to the bathroom, but you seem frozen in place. Is everything okay?”

The thoughts vanish, like shadows hit point blank by a blinding light. “We have to talk,” states Rin.

Nice to get the title explained

I’m loving the pacing of the development of their relationship. Emi & Rin could make a lovely couple, and I am glad to see more of them. You get into their heads most excellently.

BTW, if you haven’t read it, I recommend Fractures. It’s not specifically a Emi & Rin story—it’s Emi, Rin, Lilly, Shizune, & Misha, set years after a “Kenji ending”— but the relationship between Emi & Rin in that story is one of the best. Starts out damaged, but grows into some beautiful flirtation.

I’m also impressed by the way you address everyone’s varying attitudes toward disabilities, something that’s often glossed over in KS fanfic. Emi’s rant had a very personal feeling to it. My youngest has EDS, and partly as a consequence of that is getting a degree studying stigma against people with disabilities.

Good luck with classes!

Lap wrote: ↑Thu Sep 19, 2024 11:15 am

Nice to get the title explained

I’m loving the pacing of the development of their relationship. Emi & Rin could make a lovely couple, and I am glad to see more of them. You get into their heads most excellently.

BTW, if you haven’t read it, I recommend Fractures. It’s not specifically a Emi & Rin story—it’s Emi, Rin, Lilly, Shizune, & Misha, set years after a “Kenji ending”— but the relationship between Emi & Rin in that story is one of the best. Starts out damaged, but grows into some beautiful flirtation.

I’m also impressed by the way you address everyone’s varying attitudes toward disabilities, something that’s often glossed over in KS fanfic. Emi’s rant had a very personal feeling to it. My youngest has EDS, and partly as a consequence of that is getting a degree studying stigma against people with disabilities.

Good luck with classes!

Such a nice and thoughtful comment, it genuinely brings a tear to my eye :_)

I have read Fractures! I went in with low expectations because the premise seemed a bit out there but loved the character dynamics. I agree that Emi and Rin are incredible on that one.

And thank you, I really am trying to focus on disability as an overarching theme, and lived experience definitely plays a role. Write about what you know, or so I've heard. When writing this fic I feel like I'm basically disentangling my own attitudes towards disability and almost accidentally having arguments with my own self, I'm glad it doesn't feel as ranty or too-in-your-face as it does when writing it. And your youngest sounds cool as hell.

Thank you again, I do write mainly for my own enjoyment but comments like these give me the impetus to try and write more, even with my limited time and energy

It took way less than I expected, but probably because I've been trying to figure out how to write this for almost a month straight, even before I published the last chapter. As usual, if there's any English weirdness going on please do let me know.

<<Chapter 8
CHAPTER 9

This isn’t good. Emi can’t recall any other time Rin had shown any restraint when it comes to talking. The fact that she agreed to let her go to the bathroom first instead of launching into an incomprehensible rant was terrifying in its mundanity. What the hell is going through that girl’s head?

Resigned, she finally gets out of the stall and washes her hands. Rin is, once again surprisingly, not waiting for her at the bathroom door. She gets to their room slowly, every step a mix of terror and frustration. Rin’s right there, on her bed, fidgeting with her feet, her expression as inscrutable as ever.

“You’re back,” she opens. “Is your stomach okay? You were gone for a long time.”

Her stomach is, in fact, not okay, but it has little to do with her bathroom visit. “Yeah, it’s fine,” she forces a smile, knowing full well that it won’t have any effect on her roommate. Emi sits down on Rin’s bed in an attempt to prevent her from raising the volume. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“I want to try loving you,” she states, staring uncharacteristically into her eyes.

And there it is. Emi’s worst fears come true. The sleeping together, the conversations about romance and, of course, the damned kiss. She saw it coming from a mile away, but chose to sweep it under the rug as just Rin's quirkiness acting up.

“Okay, Rin, look… You’re my best friend. I love you very much, you know that, but… not like what you’re suggesting, I think,” those last few words are her way of holding onto a white-hot nail, in hopes that Rin just meant love in a purely platonic way.

“But do you want to love me like that?”

Where the hell is this going?

“Yeah, of course, but-”

“Then try,” she’s staring past her eyes and right into her soul. “You can choose to love me. Sayo told me. It has to be a choice, and it’s not a curse.”

“It doesn’t work like that. I don’t even know if I’m into women, Rin. You can’t just choose to love someone, it’s something you feel. And did you just say Sayo?”

“You feel attraction. When you have two magnets you can feel they attract, but they don’t love each other. They only love each other when they want to love each other. I did.”

Good to know this is, at least partially, their fault. “I can’t just choose to love you, Rin. I would be lying to myself, and you. Like those romance movies about friends that have to pretend to be a couple for their family and all that.”

“But it’s not pretend if you want to love me.”

“Look, Rin, in an ideal world we would be a couple, get married and be happily ever after, sure. But real life isn’t a fairytale. It’s kind of a miracle that we stayed so close after high school. When was the last time you heard from anyone in the art club? Or from class? If I’m lucky I’ll see Miki in a competition or two, and even that’s a stretch since we don’t even run in the same category. Do you see where I’m going?”

“No. Those weren’t friends. I didn’t choose to be their friend. I didn’t love them either,” she responds, back to fidgeting with her feet.

“What I’m saying is… We’re in college, and in all likelihood we’ll fall off afterwards. You know, life happens and all that, it won’t be anyone’s fault. I want to live in the moment, share a room with my best friend and enjoy the years we have left together without risking hurting each other.”

“You’re choosing the banana milkshake.”

“I’m choosing what now?”

“When you go to the coffee shop and order the banana milkshake because you’ve tried it and you know you like it. So you don’t order the apple smoothie because you don’t know if you like it, even if it smells really good and has a bronze color. And you may be allergic, because you don’t eat apples because they’re uncomfortable to eat, so the apple smoothie could kill you,” she’s fidgeting harder and harder.

“Yeah, kinda like that, I guess,” that was thankfully one of Rin’s easier to follow tangents.

“I’ve tried the apple smoothie. I like it more. I never order the banana milkshake now,” she stops fidgeting and looks at her again. “It didn’t kill me. It tasted spicy at first. I thought I was going to die of anaphylactic shock. But the cinnamon is spicy.”

“But it could have killed you,” Emi pretty much doubts this fact, but she’s grasping for any argument. Wait, why is she even arguing?

Rin blatantly ignores that last intervention and continues pushing her agenda. “Mayuri lives far away from Sayo, but they still love each other.”

“Rin, you’re trying to convince me to be a couple, and it doesn’t work like that. It just doesn’t. I don’t know what Fujisawa told you but you can’t just do that, not when the other person isn’t interested.”

“Not a couple. Love. Definitions are hard. You’re not interested?”

Those last few words feel like a stab in the stomach. She’s not… is she? Somehow, the finality of their relationship made her feel safe, in control. She was just enjoying her time for a few years, knowing that Rin had a sort of expiration date, after which they would just be acquaintances. Nothing dramatic, nothing sudden, just life happening as it should. They would probably meet a couple times to catch up, but knowing Rin those would be rare, if they even happened at all. Being a couple would throw a wrench in her plans: best case scenario, that organic ending to their relationship is gone; worst case, it’s far more traumatic and violent.

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” she answers, feeling the tears starting to form in her eyes. She will not let herself cry.

“You can just try.”

“I can’t, Rin. We’ll hurt each other. You’re not a toy I can just discard if it isn’t fun. Neither am I. I don’t want things to change.”

“Things are always changing. If things didn’t change we wouldn’t know time is passing. They have already changed and they will keep changing,” Rin moves closer to Emi and positions her head in her lap, looking up at her face. “If we hurt each other we will get angry and then calm down. It will change, but not break. You don’t throw away the drawers because you hit your pinky with the corner, you cover the corner with something soft,” she suddenly stops and looks away. “You wouldn’t know.”

Emi chuckles under her breath. She stares at Rin, whose gaze is enraptured by nothing in particular, probably thinking of a more fitting simile. Or probably not. She really was beautiful, especially up close. That messy, auburn hair and those ever curious green eyes give her an adorable look that Emi finds hard to resist. She places a hand on her head and starts petting her, slowly, which elicits a curious look from her partner. Maybe she's right, which doesn’t mean that this whole thing doesn’t terrify her. She’s never gone out with someone she loves so much.

“I had feet once, you know? I do know what that’s like,” not like she can remember if it ever happened, but this would probably bring Rin back.

“Okay.”

“We can try. Well, I can try, looks like you don’t really have any impediments. I will try to love you, and see how it feels. Let’s not call ourselves a couple, though, we’re just trying stuff.”

“Really?” Rin’s genuinely surprised, as if she didn’t quite expect this outcome at all.

“Yes. I’m not committing to anything and I’m not promising anything, but we can try. To be honest, it’s not like you can just come back from what you said.”

“Okay. I love you.”

Emi’s worst instincts are firing up after hearing those three words. Not even an official couple and she’s already comfortable saying something like that. She strokes Rin’s hair and smiles at her, not knowing quite how to respond yet.

“I’ll let you know I’m stubborn as hell. If we’re trying this you have to be okay with that.”

“I know.”

“And you should probably start running with me, you know? That’s good for bonding. Endorphins and all that.”

“My balance is bad when I run,” she raises her residual limbs to illustrate her point, “but you have hands, you can paint with me.”

Emi hasn’t painted once in her entire life, but if it’s with Rin she could probably make an effort. “Deal.”

“Can we kiss?”

This time there’s no hesitation, and Emi gives her a quick peck on the lips. “More to come, but let me get comfortable first,” she says as she moves Rin’s head away from her lap so that she can take her legs off.

Once she’s done she moves beside her roommate, who’s now lying down with her head on the pillow. Emi hugs her, holding onto her ribcage, and pulls her closer. Rin closes her eyes and waits for Emi to initiate the kiss. Their lips touch, and they once again start dancing in unison, and this time she doesn’t feel like stopping, only making small pauses to kiss Rin’s cheek or forehead, which she receives with a faint smile and soft vocalizations. Maybe she could get used to this.

Woo, progress!

I know some of you people write 10k word chapters like it's nothing (which I admire immensely), but after more than one year writing I'm so incredibly happy that I'm approaching the 20k word mark. I have a lot of story left to tell, and finally having the two of them in a sort of relationship gives me so much more room to write. I would also like to explore Sayo's character a bit more in depth, I was thinking of a one shot centered on them specifically, but I understand an OC may not be to everyone's tastes or have the same appeal. I will probably write it and see how I feel about it before posting, but if you have opinions on it do let me know, same thing with the chapter

Also please don't get used to the "one chapter a month" pattern, December and January are hellish months college and work wise. I'll try to write but I can't promise anything. At least it seems I'll be attending some conferences on NMOSD (among other demyelinating diseases) shortly, so that's a nice opportunity to research almost as close to the source as possible. And with that...

<<Chapter 9
CHAPTER 10

Emi’s usually back by now or, to be accurate, half an hour before now. It’s not like Rin is in a hurry to go to class, the opposite if anything, but she would like to have her back in the room anyway, especially so since yesterday’s conversation. Also, she would get angry if Rin skips classes. Against her wishes, she decides to get out of bed.

She’s lost practice when it comes to dressing up. It’s not a struggle, but it’s definitely more annoying than when Emi does it for her. She has to raise her pants to her waist and button up the shirt or, once again, Emi would get angry at her for going out with her underwear showing; the latter is just time consuming, the former a matter of finding the right tool. She should tell Emi to let her dress up independently at least once in a while, because it is harder than she remembers. Then again, that would mean missing her closeness and hand dancing once in a while, which as far as she’s concerned would be a tragedy since days in one’s life are usually limited. All things considered, losing practice isn’t that bad. She won’t tell Emi, then.

Rin’s ready to go, but she can’t find her shoulder bag where it normally is. Usually she wouldn’t even think about it, but Emi will come back to the room eventually. She read a book in her English Literature class about a chest that could grow hundreds of legs, and while that notion is obviously fantastic in nature, a small bag growing just two seems much more reasonable. Still, she had things there. Her things. She hopes it will come back as easily as it disappeared. The approaching sound of bouncing carbon fiber alerts her to the fact that the bag’s legs needn’t even be organic in nature.

“Rin!” A distant voice on the other side of her bedroom door shouts. Her bag sounds shockingly similar to Emi.

The door bursts open, a small girl sporting running blades stands behind the frame, panting and staring at Rin.

“You’re not my bag,” Rin concludes, not entirely surprised.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Emi crosses the threshold, closing the door behind her. “I really didn’t want to stop running so I lost track of the time, I didn’t want to leave you hanging and,” she takes a long look at Rin, going up and down with her eyes several times, “you’re not going out like this, not on my watch. Only two buttons? Really? And no bra?”

“The important ones. We don’t need a bra, there’s no uniform in college.”

“Okay, let me wash my hands at least and I’ll fix this mess. Sorry again!” She frantically leaves the bedroom again, leaving Rin staring at the door, but not for long. Five blinks to be precise. Those legs do make her fast. “Alright,” she says, closing the door behind her, her hands still wet and clear signs of her attempts at avoiding exactly that on her shirt, “let me undress you and dress you again. If I wasn’t here you could have at least used a t-shirt, I know you have some,” she says, already unbuttoning Rin’s shirt and throwing it on the bed.

One of the many incredible things about Emi is that she’s not just fast, but also precise. In the time it took Rin to put on her shirt, Emi could have dressed her about thirteen times, and all without wasting a single movement.

“There, ready. I have to take a shower and then…,” she glances at the prosthetic legs in front of her bed, a glance that takes just an instant longer than Rin expected. “You go to class without me. I’ll see you at lunchtime, okay? Same time, same place, and all that,” a quick and unexpected peck on the lips makes it hard for Rin to protest.

“Okay. I love you.”

“Go to class, Rin!”

“Okay”

Emi is late. Again. For the fastest thing on no legs, Emi’s kind of slow today. She’s so slow that even Sayo is here before her. Rin didn’t know Sayo was invited today, but it’s fine by her. They approach the bench in which she’s seated, a familiar item on her side.

“Yo,” they salute, an already well known smile forming on their face.

“I used to have a bag that looked just like yours, but it grew legs and escaped.”

“It didn’t escape, you left it at my place yesterday and I realized when I woke up this morning. I was planning on giving it to Ibarazaki but she didn’t show up to class today, is she okay? You told me she was having prosthetic troubles, can she walk?”

“She can walk. She was okay this morning. She’s over there,” Rin says, pointing with her head. “Thank you for the bag.”

Emi has two bentos in hand, which means one of them won’t have lunch today. Her gait is still off, which could explain why she’s so late. She’s looking at the ground right until she reaches the bench, which almost causes her to collide with Sayo.

“Crap, sorry,” she collects herself and ensures the bentos are still in one piece. “Hey, Fujisawa, everything okay?”

“Which one of us isn’t having lunch?” Asks Rin, concerned.

“To answer you,” says Sayo, pointing at Emi, “hi, I’m good, just came by to drop Rin’s bag, she left it at my place yesterday. And to answer you,” now pointing at Rin, “I’m going to the cafeteria. Ibarazaki wasn’t in class today, Rin, she didn’t even have time to invite me.”

“I see.”

“Alright then, I’m out. Here’s your bag,” they say, placing it on Rin’s lap, “and hey, Ibarazaki, if you need today’s notes or anything else just give me a call, okay? Have a nice lunch, you two.”

“Sure, thanks Fujisawa, see you tomorrow.”

With Sayo already leaving the park, Emi finally sits down on the bench and starts unpacking. She’s usually the first one to talk, but it doesn’t seem like she wants to start today.

“They didn’t say anything about the kiss,” says Rin.

“No, thankfully. I think they took a quick look at my face and instantly knew better than to be a nuisance today,” she’s already done preparing lunch, and takes a look at Rin’s lap before leaving her bento in front of her. “Isn’t that the bag you usually take to the workshop? Why did you take it to Fujisawa’s house? No wonder I was so confused yesterday.”

“I don’t like leaving it in the room.”

“But you don’t take it to class, I’ve seen you leave it there.”

“No.”

“Then?”

“I don’t like leaving it in the room when you’re there.”

“Oh, keeping secrets, are we?” A smile appears on Emi’s face, which signals that she isn’t angry. “Is that where you keep your, ahem, ‘magazines’?”

“I don’t read magazines.”

“I meant… spicy magazines,” the smile slightly widens.

“I don’t taste magazines. It’s a sketchbook and sketching tools.”

“Oh, right, you don’t like people seeing your unfinished works.”

“They’re not unfinished, they’re sketches. They don’t have to become anything else.”

“Can I see them, then?”

‘No’, that’s what she wants to answer. But Rin has no reason to, or at least not one that she’s able to put into words, so she settles for nodding. Emi opens the bag carefully, as she usually is when it comes to Rin’s work and tools, and takes the sketchbook out. She’s about to uncover the first page when Rin opens her mouth without fully meaning to do so.

“In our bedroom.”

“Oh?” Emi stops, her hand still holding onto the cover.

“You can see them when we’re back in our bedroom. Not in the park. We can have lunch now. Put it back, please,” her face feels hot, really hot. It’s not that hot outside. In fact, temperatures are starting to lower.

“Oh, so they are spicy. That’s fine, Rin, we’re adults now, more or less. But okay, I’ll wait.”

“Why didn’t you go to class?” Rin asks, already filling her spoon with rice.

“I… Well, the cat’s out of the bag, I guess. I just… hmm…”

“Did you have to catch a cat?”

“No, it's… Look, it’s the leg. My prosthetist said she could take a look at it two days from now, which is faster than I expected but I still don’t want people in class to see me walking like this. That’s it.”

“They know you use prosthetics.”

“Yes, but they don’t really know what that means. They just think my legs are made of a different material and I want to keep it that way.”

“But it’s not just a different material. Your legs don’t have fibulas.”

“You know what I mean,” she pauses, taking some time to look at Rin’s face. “Okay, maybe you don’t. My classmates think my legs work just like flesh legs, and I don’t want to change that. If I come in walking like this then the jig is up. I can skip classes for a couple of days, I’ve been studying harder than I ever have, and I can ask Fujisawa for their notes. Which, by the way, is kinda weird that you’re already on a first name basis, you’ve spent like three hours together.”

“We’re friends now.”

“Yeah, I can see that. I hope you’re not plotting against me or anything.”

Rin decides to start with the rice today, since it seems to be the blandest element of the whole meal. She’ll leave the eggs for last-

“Your lack of answer worries me.”

“You should go to class. You get mad at me for not going to class,” she offers, trying to keep her focus on the rice.

“Yeah, not happening. This isn’t Yamaku. The last thing I need is my classmates taking pity on me.”

“You don’t always conceal your legs. You talk about them. Some people already take pity. They always do it with me, and say it, and I can do most things.”

“I tell everyone about my legs because this is a small campus and eventually someone from class would catch me running on the track. It’s taking control of the narrative and all that. You probably attend some Sociology class, so you should know.”

“Then take control of the narrative,” she finishes, finally getting some rice in her mouth. Not as plain as she expected, the seasoning creates a delightful composition of flavors on the tongue. Maybe her eating plans should change.

“I like you better when I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” Emi says, no longer looking at Rin.

“I like you the same all the time,” and the eggs are a surprising disappointment. They’re a bit too runny for her tastes. She will finish the eggs first, then. There’s no hen here to protest the order.

They finish the rest of their lunch in silence, enjoying the views and soundscape the park offers. The leaves are starting to change color and you can hear some birds that you couldn’t the weeks before.

A sudden shout breaks the illusion of nature. “Okay, fine! I’ll see how I feel about it tomorrow. No promises. And today I’m going straight to our room.”

“Okay.”

“And I get to cuddle when you come back in the evening.”

“Okay.”

“And I get to look at your secret sketches.”

The air on Rin’s face gets hot again. “Okay.”

“And… you give me some dirt on Fujisawa just in case.”

“I can’t throw dirt on Sayo, they’re too tall,” throwing dirt on them would require some serious planning. And they may not enjoy it all that much.

“Everyone’s tall to me, just figure it out,” she starts laughing loudly, a sound that eclipses what little birds were willing to speak already, but a beautiful melody all the same. “Please don’t do anything to Fujisawa, I was just messing with you.”

“Okay.”

Emi stands up and starts wrapping the empty lunchboxes. “Ok, I’m taking the day off today, but you have to go to class. I’ll be in our room, thinking… about all this. See you later, okay? And don’t forget your bag again,” she finishes, placing the strap on Rin’s shoulder.

“Bye. I love you.”

She’s already walking towards the park entrance, waving her hand without looking at Rin. At least she’s not looking at the ground, either.

Retornodelogay wrote: ↑Wed Nov 13, 2024 5:58 pm

left it at home yesterday

I'd replace this with 'left it at my place yesterday', but that's just me.

I love the notion that somewhere there is a Japanese university that teaches English using Terry Pratchett.

Another wonderful addition to this wonderful story. I’m glad Emi is giving the relationship a chance and not just running as fast as she can in the opposite direction.

Rin’s sketchbook entries really have me intrigued…

Peorth wrote: ↑Wed Nov 13, 2024 6:36 pm

I'd replace this with 'left it at my place yesterday', but that's just me.

You're absolutely right, it flows way better and they would probably not call that apartment home. Changed

Lap wrote: ↑Wed Nov 13, 2024 7:22 pm

I love the notion that somewhere there is a Japanese university that teaches English using Terry Pratchett.

Another wonderful addition to this wonderful story. I’m glad Emi is giving the relationship a chance and not just running as fast as she can in the opposite direction.

Rin’s sketchbook entries really have me intrigued…

You're too kind Lap <3

I didn't want to follow the same beats as the original novel. Emi here is more mature and aware of her own issues, and I want to show her struggling but managing. Same deal with the faulty ankle and leg infection parallels.

And I won't deny that Scarred Muse may've been at least partial inspiration for what's in the sketchbook.