First off, legalities! You can pass on that. Reading is optional.
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Now I am aware that I already have some friendly and respected competition who does the same sort of work, so here's the deal :
(reading this is optional if you have common sense)
1- Although constructive criticism is always welcome, if you're just going to tell me how awful my fics are (I know they are), don't, and read the friendly and respected competition's work instead. Chances are you'll like it. I like it. Except if you want me to feel bad about myself, then, by all means!
2- If you didn't like the friendly and respected competition's work but, for some reason, you liked mine, do not go to his thread just to say you didn't like it and mine's better. It's mean and pointless. Please do not compare our work. We're different writers with different styles and different ideas, and whether you prefer one or the other is entirely subjective. Hell, even me calling him competition is wrong.
3-If you are begging for Hanako/Hisao vanilla fanfic but like neither of our work, please have a cookie as a consolation prize. I'm sorry.
4-I swear to Almighty God or local equivalent that all ideas present are in no way ripped off the friendly and respected competition's work. If you notice similar ideas, it's because we've had similar ideas. Deal with it.
Updates are : When it's done, aka soon™. I'm rather busy at this point in time, and I tend not to be inspired when I have to, so updates will come, but they will be few and far between. A warning has been given.
Without further verbose, let us begin.
TABLE OF CONTENT
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1 - Soft Passage
2 - Present Pieces
3 - Free to Soar
4 - Something Old, Something New
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oft Passage"Then please accept my first gift to you, Hisao..."
"Hanako...?"
Her kiss takes me completely by surprise. For two full seconds I just stand there, not quite computing what's going on. My brain kicks back in when her soft lips press firmly against my slightly open mouth, warping my arms around her back and fully opening my mouth to return the gesture.
My mind swirls with the sensation. It's my first kiss, after all. Yet, for some reason, something tells me this whole situation feels off. I feel like we're being watched...
Oh, yes.
We're on the street.
The annoying something tells me I should care more.
Hanako is my girlfriend. Hanako is confident.
I'm sent spinning into an ocean of bliss.
Nothing exists in this world anymore, except us.
Our embrace lasts one eternity.
Then two eternities.
Then three etern-
*GURGLE*
I literally hate my gut right now.
Our lips part way. I open my eyes to look at her. Her expression is an odd mix of wistful and amused.
"Uh, thanks..." I utter dazedly.
The earnest smile I've learned to treasure draws on her face. Here goes another wave of joy.
"There's...a pastry shop just there." She points to my right.
My gaze turns toward all kinds of delicious-looking baked stuff begging for a bite. Or several. The growls of my stomach grow louder at the sight, and I also begin to notice that the full spectrum of human reactions is painted on the faces of the people around us.
Right. Kissing in public. I blush a little when I recognize the face of a girl of our class. Looking back at Hanako, I find her cheeks rather rosy as well.
"Do they accept kissing people in here?" I ask jokingly. I may feel embarrassed, but I'm too happy about how today's ordeal turned out to really care.
"O-only one way to find out." She beams yet another smile at me, grabs my hand and darts for the shop; which now doubles as an improvised escape plan from the staring crowd.
After paying for the meal and sneaking out of the shop as stealthily as possible, we go back to the park, sit on a bench and start digging in our entirely sweet-based prize.
I guess it's fitting.
I got myself a raspberry...cake-thing, and Hanako settled for a big chocolate éclair. We were rather dumbfounded to find such elaborate pastries in this little town but I'm not one to complain.
We quickly eat our meal, occasionally exchanging mouthfuls with the tiny plastic fork we were given alongside our food, smiling broadly when we do. We're silent, but I'm fine with that silence. Everything we had to say, we did in this same park. We have each other, we're enjoying pastries together, we're enjoying the weather together, and we're understanding each other better. Words are no use to us now.
As I put the bag beside us, Hanako moves closer to me and snuggles her head against my shoulder, pressing it further when I put my hand on her waist, letting out a small content sigh when I lean my head against hers. It feels cosy here all of a sudden. I really don't feel like moving, and judging by her peaceful expression, nor does she. Her bangs fall neatly on her right cheek, efficiently covering her scars.
I guess that helps, though seeing how close she's nestling to me, I must have a part in in too.
We stay like this for a while.
...
...I only regain the sense of time passing when the light becomes noticably more orange.
"We should probably head back," I whisper.
"Hmmm," is all that comes out of her. She seemed so snug. Shame this day can't last longer.
We stand up and dust ourselves. I reach out my hand, which she promptly takes.
Off to Yamaku.
We make our way back to the dorms with the same sense of peace we've experienced all afternoon.
It's a nice change of pace : Looking back to it, my mind had been solely focused on Hanako ever since she had her panic attack. Even after her birthday, when I followed Lilly's advice and dealt with my own issues, it was still there, on the back of my mind, and occasionally my thoughts drifted back to the sea of questions concerning her : "What does she really think of me? What am I feeling for her?" and the most recurring one : "How can I save her?"
Knowing what she told me today, that last question fills me with disgust. I really was clueless all along.
At least not anymore.
I'm looking at her now. The relaxed pace we're walking at makes her hair gracefully swing back and forth. Her face looks pretty, bathing in the orange sunset light. I don't even pay attention to the scars anymore. To me, they've just become another feature, something like a birthmark. It doesn't make her any less charming.
I realize I've actually been staring at her for some time, and now she's quizzically glancing at me.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing. You're really beautiful."
...That just came out.
She's blushing scarlet. I assume. I can't really tell with the light.
"Y-you don't r-really m-m-mean..." she stammers.
"I do," I reply with a smile and a squeeze of her hand. I really do after all, no point in having her thinking otherwise.
She smiles back, saying nothing more. She walks closer to me, and holds my hand a little tighter. Her smile lingers on her face for quite some time.
I'm feeling tired by the time we've made it to the dorms.
I really wish it took more than a walk up a hill to exhaust me. I'm sure Hanako noticed it too, even though she doesn't seem to mind. I guess she overlooks my being ragged the same way I overlook her scars.
"Well, here we are," I manage to utter.
She nods.
"So, uh, thanks for the...gift. That was really lovely."
"Anytime," She replies with a smile. There's something new in that smile. Playfulness? I think it is. As always, her contagious smile creeps on my own face, and it's enough to perk me up.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning, then," I add in a more joyful tone.
"Okay."
"Good night, Hanako."
"Night, Hisao."
Today turned out to be a good day.
I trudge to my room, hoping against hope that Kenji isn't lurking in the corridors. The tension rises as I walk. I'm facing the door... nothing. I'm putting my hand on the knob... nothing. I'm... turning the knob. nothing. I'm opening the door. nothing. I'm closing the door...
Nothing.
That was draining. Who would have thought that coming back to one's room could be so tiresome?
With what little energy I have left, I fall on my bed, face first. Uncomfortable. I turn my face to the right, and gaze at my drawer and the pile of medications sitting here.
I was, well... in Hanako's bedroom this morning, so I didn't have the chance to take them today.
Oh. OH. So that's why I'm feeling so tired.
With a sigh, I proceed to gulp down the rows of pills. Can't be bothered with a shower though. Too tired. Sleep will come soon enough.
...
...
...
Or maybe it won't.
"Side effects may include insomnia," it says on the bottle. I would know, I've been staring at it for ten minutes.
Sigh.
I suppose I could use the thinking time.
I still feel bad about what happened last night. It's funny, isn't it. I was constantly worrying about her while she was silently begging me not to, and in the one moment when I should have cared about what she feels, I act like an insensitive moron.
Good job, Hisao. You really nailed that one.
...I suppose we got better. Still, it's something I will need to tend to lest it durably stains our relationship.
Speaking of which...
My health hasn't improved since I got out of the hospital; I was just too shortsighted to care up until now. That needs to be addressed. What is the point of Hanako overcoming her social awkwardness and us becoming a couple if I get to die in my twenties, or thirties? I want to enjoy my life with her for as long as any other guy would be able to.
Maybe I'm selfish thinking that way. But wouldn't I be even more selfish, not to mention stupid, if I kept trying to bury the issue, if I went on like nothing happened after that snowy day except for a few change of habits? I owe it to myself, and more importantly to her not to let my condition rule over my life.
I'll give the morning runs another shot. Nurse advised it, so chances are it could help. And I got the feeling Emi liked having someone along. If she's still running in the mornings. That would make things easier, I admit.
I set the alarm clock to...way sooner than I'm used to. My tomorrow-self is going to hate my tonight-self. I'll have to tell myself it's for the greater good.
With these resolutions firmly imprinted in my mind, I finally manage to get some sleep.
Today turned out to be a good day.
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