Demo version of Song about Emi (now improved)

[Daitengu]

oh? I'd like to hear it with you cats doing the whole song in one take per track instead of segmenting it.

[Josh_Mac]

We had originally wanted to but she just learned the song that day and didn't feel confident enough to do it all in one take. With luck she'll be able to tomorrow!

[Josh_Mac]

Come like us on Facebook? http://www.facebook.com/cagedheartband

[Daitengu]

Nightwish huh? Old or new Nightwish? My like depends on it! lol

[Josh_Mac]

Both Nightwish! I prefer Anette but I've hella respect for Tarja, both with Nightwish and her solo career since.

[Daitengu]

That answer makes me feel old lol. But ya didn't say only new, so I give ya ma like ;p

[Josh_Mac]

Woo! I knew I was taking a chance there, since by that question you must have been a Tarja fan =P

[Daitengu]

yep, became a fan way back with Oceanborn.

[Josh_Mac]

You've been a fan longer than I, in that case! I just got into them with Dark Passion Play

Also, for anyone who may be reading this: Whose song would you like to hear next: Shizune, Rin, or Misha? We're going to work on Lilly's today, and then after that Hanako's is close to done, but we're unsure where to go after that. Misha's at least has a melody worked out but they're all largely unwritten, save the lyrics.

[Daitengu]

May as well go with Misha since you got the melody.

[Josh_Mac]

Probably will do so. It's hard as hell to write for Rin, ya know that? =P

[Daitengu]

Here's what the guitar/piano/singing teacher's ideas on the Emi song. Her preference style would be Motown/folk

I like the driving beat, and the melody and lyrics are fine. Not sure what to say about the singer, but she needs some training to be able to go beyond her level. I would re-do the mix myself, and have her sing very soft and breathy, placing her voice back in the mix a little, and less "up front". She could probably pull it off, if she did that and added some dynamics. Could only hear guitar mostly, but would imagine a cool fretless jazz bass on the song, to break it up a bit. Some alt drum beats and changes would help as well.

While training would be useful, it is rather expensive. Another route would just be to practice daily till you found your 'voice'(your expressive style & comfortable range).

In general regardless of instrument or vocals, the songs will only improve as you cats practice them to the point of having confidence to play them live.

[Josh_Mac]

Thanks! Hm, I don't remember if I mentioned or not, so sorry if I'm repeating myself, but when we did that recording, she'd just come off of the flu, and also had already been singing for 9 hours before we recorded anything (that was only the first day; needed something recorded for the below link). We'll certainly work in more practice though. She's most used to singing in choir, and thus harmonizing and stuff, so it's probably a little overwhelming for her, I would imagine.

[Beoran]

Thanks, that means a lot! (My role was writing all the lyrics; helped write a bit of the music.) Could you please elaborate on what you mean by "grating?" If I understand correctly what you mean about flowing well, that could be due to the fact that we recorded everything in separate takes; each instrument track is made up of like 20 different, shorter segments all grafted together in Audacity. That's also part of the reason I think Haley sounds "puffy" at points: she recorded each couple lines separately.

Well, that would explain a lot of the choppiness I felt. The fact that you're all playing and singing separately means that you can't adjust and accord yourself to each other. I think it will sound much better if an all play together and do it in one take. If your singer or anyone else isn't feeling confident enough, you'll just have to memorise the song better and rehearse more, I'm afraid. You have to remember that you'll earn the most money out of your live performances, so get that right, then recording should be much easier.

Again, sorry if I sound harsh, but I hope my honest feelings will help you. I hope your singer gets better soon, and that you'll all be successful.

Edit: Oh, I listened to the updated version and it does sound a bit better, but still ,, in the beginning there's a part where the melody of the guitar and the voice don' t align well. Also "... And I can accept that, with a smile ..." how about shortening that to "And I accept that, with a smile" ? It feels at that point you have too many syllables in the lyrics.

[Josh_Mac]

We're hoping to do some future stuff in a single take, all together, but unfortunately that's a bit tough as the guitarist lives in Denver, 200 miles away, and none of us can really afford to transit back and forth. He came down for the duration of last week and we got a number of songs written and the vocals for "Sun Shine" recorded, but unfortunately that's it. Also makes live performances a bit less feasible for the time being, unfortunately.

And nah, not harsh, it's the kind of feedback we're looking for.

I agree about the syllable count. Originally, we had the structure different: instead of "Now I/Can accept that/With a smile," we had it divided into "Now I/Can ac/cept that with a smile;" put the emphasis on the second syllable with the downbeat. Considering changing the wording there already, seems to be a popular idea.