Greater Than The Sum (Finished!) - All days now up: 11/4/12

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stanman237
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - ?? now up: 24/3/12

Post by stanman237 »

If you would put in Hisao into this fan fic, then it involves 2 options I would think. The first one is choosing a path that he took in the novel and it would have to happen after the novel ended that path. I would think you would have to incorporate both of them in order to be realistic as in the VN, Hisao never met Katsuro in any of the path at all. Also it wouldn't make sense if you incorporate Hisao without a route as the only route he didn't get a girl is the suicide with Kenji. Hopefully if you do include it, it would be a good ending of a girl rather than a bad ending
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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - ?? now up: 24/3/12

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird »

Day Sixty Two

The doctor withdraws his stethoscope and replaces it around his neck.

"Well, that's everything. Apart from a few cuts and bruises, you have a clean bill of health. You're free to go, though I would advise avoiding any sort of head trauma for a few days."
"Thank you, Doctor. Are you ready, Katsuro?"
"Yeah, Dad, let's go."

Dad and I thank the doctor again on our way out, giving a small bow. A similar reception is provided to the nurses and receptionists who have dealt with us these last twelve days. We make our way downstairs, out the lobby and into the carpark. I spot Dad's rental car a short distance away. Even for a rental it's fairly high end. Dad was never one to spare expense, obviously this hasn't changed. I open the passenger side door and lower myself into the leather seat. Luxurious. Dad does the same on the other side, inserts the key and guns it out of the park and onto the road, where he relaxes and maintains the speed limit. Seems his driving style hasn't changed either.

The return drive to Yamaku is very short. We probably could have walked the way there, it wouldn't have taken long. I wouldn't have minded walking actually, laying in a bed for twelve days makes one pretty sick of being still. Nevertheless by the time I even think of walking, we have already arrived. There's very very few people in the grounds, though what can I expect given that class is due to start in less than five minutes? I lead Dad towards the dorms, pointing out various parts of the school and their function, as well as their importance to me or lack thereof. It's a big contrast to the last time we walked through the school; that time was mostly silent and burdened by my luggage, and Mother was with us. Well, with us physically at least, she was busy on her phone and her PDA more than anything.

We walk the familiar route to my room on the first floor. As we round the corner into the hall which my room exits into, I spot some black haired guy on his hands and knees outside my door. Strangely for the height of summer, he's garbed in the full Yamaku uniform; pants, shirt, blazer, and also a red and gold scarf. It appears that he's trying to reach under my door, as he continually looks under it through his glasses - monstrously thick ones at that - and he is poking a thin rod of some kind through the gap under my door. Dad has noticed this too, and gives me a questioning look. I approach the boy and ask him what he's doing.

"Uh... what the hell are you doing?"
"AAARGH!"

The boy starts violently, falling over slightly but then pushing himself onto his feet with great speed. He turns around, frowning, and glares at me through his glasses.

"What's your problem? Are you trying to kill me or something?!"

I figure this kid must have some kind of heart condition, if he's so mad about being startled like that. That, and really bad eyesight.

"Er, no, but you're poking a stick around under my door and I kinda need to get in."
"This is your room?"

The bespectacled kid leans in uncomfortably close to my face, as if he were inspecting it for blemishes. His breathing is oddly heavy, and smelly.

"Um... yeah. Do you mind getting out of the way?"
"Sure. Be careful of booby traps though. I saw some girl with red hair stick something under your door before. Red hair, man! What Japanese woman has red hair? I know a feminist assassination plot when I see one. What are you doing, for them to form such a heinous plot?"
"...What."
"You mean... you don't know? Time is of the essence! Meet me in my room in ten minutes! I'll enlighten you to everything. Don't tell any girls."
"...What."
"The name's Kenji by the way. Open your door slowly."

And with that, Kenji drops down, deftly collects his poking rod, then proceeds to walk towards the elevators. I thought they were only for movement-impaired students? I look at Dad for some sign of understanding. From the look on his face, he is about as confused as I am. Assassination plot? Booby traps? Feminists? This Kenji guy sounds like a bit of a crackpot. That being said, I still open my door slowly, my reason not being suspicious of 'feminists', but rather being suspicious of Kenji. All I see when I open the door is an envelope on the floor. I pick it up, and withdraw from its interior a letter. I walk over to my bed, take a seat, and read it.

'Katsuro,
when you get back, meet me in the music room. I want to see you.
Naomi, xx.


Short, and to the point. No words wasted. I can't help but feel a bit nervous about this summons. It gives off a sense of foreboding. I show Dad the note, and he reassures me that everything is fine. He even offers to go with me; Dad really wants to meet Naomi. According to him he has to make sure that she's a good girlfriend. Huh. I don't think I've actually referred to Naomi as my girlfriend thus far, be it in my head or in conversation. I mean, I know she is, given we've gone on dates and made out and stuff, but it seems weird to give her a title for doing it. It makes me wonder how stable or long lasting a relationship has to be before you start calling someone your girlfriend.

Dad and I head back out of my room, making doubly sure to lock it in case of any more Kenji shenanigans, and make our way over to the music room. I deliberately choose a path that avoids all the main classrooms, as to avoid any suspiscious glances from the students or staff inside them. Dad quickly catches on to my intent and turns the journey into a game; walk around Yamaku while looking as obviously suspicious as possible. He calls it 'playing secret agent' but it's far too exaggerated to be that. At first I shake my head in shame, but on reaching the stairs to the second floor I let my inhibitions go and join in. We must look so ridiculous, I find it difficult to keep myself from laughing.

At the door of the music room, Dad and I flank each side of the entrance and knock on the door. A few seconds pass, during which I can hear excited whispering from inside, then the door opens. I let the silence of confusion hang for a second before I jump out and shout 'boo' at the person before me. Naomi squeals in fright but quickly regains her composure and launches towards me, firmly planting her lips on mine and her hands around my shoulders. We stay that way for several seconds, before Dad gives a little cough, and Naomi breaks off with a little blush.

Naomi glances back to me and gives a little smile, before beckoning me inside the music room. I oblige, Dad right behind. Inside, Seto and Miko stand either side of a single desk, set in the centre of the room and adorned with a simple cake. Several sheets of paper hang from the ceiling above them, across which the words 'Welcome back, Katsuro' are painted in a variety of colours. A few dozen balloons are scattered across the floor, in various shapes and sizes. Seto raises his hand in a static, salute-like wave; in contrast to this, Miko waves her hand excitedly. Both are beaming at my return. Naomi fronts the group of three and formally welcomes me back, followed by Seto and Miko.

"It's great to have you back, Katsuro."
"You're tougher than we thought; welcome back, man."
"I'm so happy to see you're okay!"
I feel my face come up in a blush at the gestures. "Guys... you didn't need to throw me a party for coming back from hospital..."
Naomi waves her hand dismissively. "You were gone a long time..."
"It was only two weeks or so..."
"It seemed like a lot longer to us... we were afraid you wouldn't come back, so we planned this party to make sure you would."
"Sounds like a fool-proof plan."
"It worked, didn't it?"

Completely unable to refute Naomi's logic, or perhaps completely unwilling, I do little more than smile and embrace her. Once we've separated, I firmly shake Seto's hand, and give Miko a quick hug. The presence of another person in the room reminds me that some introductions are in order.

"Oh, guys, this is my Dad, Ken Akarada. Dad, this is Seto, Miko, and Naomi, my girlfriend."

There, I said it. I called Naomi my girlfriend. It feels... good. The three of them each say hi in turn, and Seto shakes Dad's hand. Dad returns the greeting.
"How very nice to meet you all." Then, in a whisper only audible to me, he adds, "your girlfriend is very nice. I think you've made a good choice."

With the introductions over, we tuck into the cake. It doesn't last long at all. When it's all gone, Dad decides to take his leave.

"I'd better get going. There's a flight that leaves for Sapporo fairly soon. I'll give you a call when I land."
"Dad, I don't have a phone. Remember?"
"Oh, right. Go buy yourself a new one and send me the details, you know how to contact me. Anyway, I'll come down again whenever I get the chance. I'll try and bring Mother with me if I can. Once this deal passes, I'll look into a more... stationary job, and a permanent home. Your friends will be welcome any time they want, and - "
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Dad."
"Right, right... listen, you look like you've got yourself pretty much set for the time being. I'm glad you've done so well for yourself. I'm proud of you, son."
"Thanks Dad. See you later."
"Goodbye, Katsuro."

Dad and I give each other a great, big, manly, bear hug, then he departs the music room indefinitely. The four of us that remain make small talk for a little while. I'm caught up on a few of the goings-on of our classmates, as well as what in the way of school work I've missed. It seems like it's nothing I can't pick up with too much trouble. When I ask about Daisuke, no one really knows what he's been up to since the day of Yamato's concert. Apparently he's spent most of his time locked up in his room, not even bothering to go to classes. Faggot didn't even bother to turn up here to welcome me back, or at least even check if I was alright. Daisuke is quickly forgotten as Seto decides to go back to class.

"Yo, Miko and I are going to class, man. I don't think the teachers would be happy if we were any later than we are now. You guys coming too?"
I make to acquiesce, but Naomi cuts me off before I have the chance. "Go ahead without us, we'll catch up."
"Hehe alright, we'll give you two some space. Hey, don't blush, Miko."

True to Seto's word, Miko is in fact blushing at his inference. To cover for that, Miko gives him a sharp kick in the shin, before waving and skipping off to her classroom. Seto clutches his shin and grimaces for a few seconds, then follows, his trademark static wave following him out the door. I turn to Naomi. Obviously she wanted to stay behind for a reason. When I look at her face, I can see several small cuts, and a bruise under her eye. I assume other minor injuries exist elsewhere on her body as well. Naomi's eyes keep flitting between looking at my eyes and the small floorspace between us. When she does speak up, it's quiet, and wavering.

"I... I was really scared that day."
"Naomi..."
"When I saw that look in your eyes, right before the bus hit, somehow I just knew that something bad was going to happen. You threw yourself over me... all in that moment all I could think about was losing you. I know we've only been together for a short time, but... it's been the happiest time of my life and I never want to miss out on that again. In the car, I thought I was going to die. That was hard. That was scary. But... the days when you were in hospital, they were worse. I was perfectly fine, but knowing you were lying in a bed hooked up to all sorts of machines just to keep you alive... knowing you might not wake up... I was wishing I had died so I didn't have to feel so bad."
"Naomi, I appreciate your concern, I really do. It means so much to me to know that you care that much. I did what I did because I care about you a lot too. I'm a tough guy, you needn't have worried yourself so much. I'm hooked up to a machine three days a week, you've seen me. Besides... that's not the first time I've cheated death."
"...Katsuro?"

I steel myself for what I'm about to do. Naomi told me her story. It was hard and nearly broke her, but she told it to me. I admired that strength. Now it's time for me to draw from it. I take a deep breath and prepare myself as best I can for what I'm about to say.

"Naomi, you've seen me hooked up to the machine in the medical office. You know what it's for, correct?"
"Of course, it's a dialysis machine."
"Right. You know why I need to undergo dialysis too, don't you?"
"Yeah. It's cause you've got something wrong with your kidneys. What relevance does this have, Katsuro?"
"Do you know why there's something wrong with my kidneys?"
"What? I dunno, I figured you were just born like that. Loads of people are, there's a girl in our year who was, and at least one other person below us..."
"I wasn't born like that."

I briefly succumb to the urge not to delve into this story. I've never told anyone about this before, it was too painful. But now... I have to do this. I force myself to continue recounting my story.

"Most of my life was perfectly normal. Well, as normal as it could have been moving cities every month or so. When you spend that little time in one place you tend not to make strong friends. So most of my time was spent alone, as my parents were always out working. I'd just while away the hours playing video games or my guitar by myself. Anyway, on one of these days home alone, about three or four months ago, I heard some sort of commotion going on downstairs. At first I passed it off as my imagination, because I was the only one there. There wasn't anyone else home to make the ruckus."

"A few minutes later I heard the sound of breaking glass. I knew for sure I wasn't imagining it that time. Being a little cautious, I nabbed one of Dad's golf clubs from the closet, and headed downstairs. I followed the source of the noise to my parents' room, where I saw who was making all the noise; two men, dressed in tracksuits and faces covered by balaclavas, rummaging through my parents' jewellery and safe. I thought about fighting them, given I had a weapon, but I changed my mind when I saw the gun on the bed next to the smaller guy."

"I knew then I had to hide and call the police. I stepped into the kitchen as quietly as I could, and made to reach for the phone. The floorboard I was standing on just had to creak right then, and loudly too. My heart stopped dead in the silence that followed. I knew they had heard me. They knew I was there. I could hear them whispering: a nasally voice asking if the other burglar had heard something; a gruff voice ordering the first to check it out; the nasally voice again, asking for the gun. The pit of dread opened up in my guts as they said that. I leaped towards the phone, snatched it from its hook and frantically began dialling, but before the number had even begun ringing, the smaller burglar was in the kitchen too."

"When he saw me, his eyes opened wide in shock. Before I even had the chance to react, he had pointed the gun and fired. I didn't even feel it at first. It was just a loud bang; it sounded almost comical. When I looked down, I could see the blood seeping out through the dozen tiny pellet holes in my abdomen, and fast. It all hit me at once when that happened. The pain, the panic, the fear... the combination of it all hit me with the force of a truck and I collapsed where I stood. While I laid bleeding out on the floor, the smaller burglar stepped over to me and kicked the phone down the hall."

"Having heard the gunshot, the bigger burglar stepped into the room and began to panic himself - 'you shot a kid!', he said. The nasally voice defended his actions, citing that I was going to call the cops. The bigger burglar protested, freaking out about the prospect of going to prison, and he ran from the room. I still remember their words clear as day, and I still think of the bigger guy as a dumbass for being afraid of jail while burgling my goddamned house. Anyway, with his partner in crime gone, the smaller guy snatched up as much of the rest of the valuables as he could carry and left, leaving me on the floor, bleeding out."

"I didn't know how much time elapsed before I passed out - to me it felt like hours, or days, but according to the police report it was only a mere few minutes - but the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. They told me that I had suffered some serious internal bleeding, that I'd had part of my small intestine removed, that my kidneys were damaged beyond repair, and that I would require lifelong dialysis unless I got a transplant. They also told me Mother was the one who found me; she arrived home some time later and called the authorities. They actually thought she was involved at one point, because of how controlled she was."

"That all blew over, but I was stuck with the knowledge that I would have to be hooked up to a machine three times a week for the rest of my life. I wouldn't be able to go to a normal school, or work a normal job until I had some easy access to a dialysis machine. I would have to be stuck with needles all the time. I hate needles. And to top it off, they never found the guys who did it. I'm gonna have to live with that for the rest of my life. It sucks, but after what happened two weeks ago... it's put things in perspective. I survived that, and I survived this. That's what matters, nothing else. I survived, and now I can be here with you. That much, I can be thankful for."

Naomi doesn't respond in any way through my whole story. She just stands perfectly still, staring into my eyes. The only noticable change is in her demeanor; her eyes become wet with unshed tears and she gives off a more helpless air as my story works towards its conclusion. And when I say those final words, Naomi finally breaks eye contact, brings her hands together in front of her, and begins to cry. I take Naomi in my arms, and comfort her with my embrace, as she sobs into my shoulder. I hold her like this until her tears stop flowing.

"Katsuro..."
"Yes, Naomi?"
"In case something like this ever happens again... in case I never get another chance to say it... I love you, Katsuro."

Before I can even respond to her confession, Naomi shifts her head from my shoulder to before my face, and kisses me more passionately than she had before then. She initiates the whole tongue thing and all. It's a really weird sensation. A tingling heat spreads through my body, except it's more of a metaphorical heat than a literal one. Naomi's hands slide all around my back as we trade saliva, but suddenly shift down between us, and begin fumbling at my belt. This isn't the time. I break the kiss and suffer the torment of Naomi's disappointed face.

"No, not now."
"Don't you want to...?
The redistribution of bloodflow occuring in me tempts me to say yes. "I do, anyone sane person would, but... this isn't the moment."
"It is! It is the moment! I love you, Katsuro, don't you love me?"
What a cruel, manipulative statement. Guilt trip much? "Of course I love you, Naomi. You're the most important thing in my life right now."
"Then what's stopping you?"
"I told you, now is not the time. If nothing had happened that night after the concert, we wouldn't be doing this now. It's only because you nearly lost me that you want to do this. Like you said, 'in case I never get another chance'... you don't want this because you feel ready, you want it because you're afraid you'll never get it."
Naomi turns her head away."I..."
"It's okay. Don't feel bad. There would only have been something bad to feel if I hadn't stopped. It wouldn't sit right with me, it's like taking advantage of you. I can't do that. Not to you. Not to anybody."
"Then... what am I supposed to do with this?"

Naomi withdraws a square foil packet from her pocket. She doesn't look at all disappointed anymore. Instead, she's wearing a cheeky grin. We both burst into joyous laughter. When the laughs subside, I take the object from Naomi and scrutinise it faux-curiously. Of course, I know what it is and what it's for.

"I think this can get put away for now. That being said... we can still have some fun without it."
Naomi cocks her head curiously. "How so?"

Without answering her, I deposit the foil package in my pocket and jam my hands into Naomi's hair. I ruffle her hair violently, making sure to mess it up as much as possible. I do the same to my hair. When I do, Naomi catches on to my idea. She loosens her bow on one side, misaligns the bottom buttons of her blouse, and adjusts her skirt crookedly. While she does this, I partially undo my tie, pop my collar on one side, and undo the zipper on my pants.

"You ready?"
"Let's go."

Without further ado, we head out of the music room, and over to room 3-4. Flashing each other sly grins, we open the door and step inside, 'apologising' to Sakura. We make our way to our seats in the back row, fixing our uniform all the while. I make a point of re-zipping my fly as I go past the first row. When we sit down, the entire class, Seto and Sakura not excluded, are eyeing us with a mixture of curiosity and accusation. Naomi and I once again burst into uproarious laughter. Sakura raises her eyebrow and welcomes me back to class, then calls out for the class to return their attention to the material on the board. I look to Seto on my right, whose mouth is agape.

"You... did you... you two... seriously?"
"Nope. We just thought it would be funny to fuck with all of you."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding to you?"
"...Not really, man. Jesus, I thought that you... I was gonna congratulate you, man."
"You can do that another time. I'm back, and that's all that matters. Let's get back to work."
"Bahaha, you got it, man. Welcome back."

The three of us sit quietly and complete the work assigned to the class. Every few seconds, someone in the room turns to look at either me or Naomi. Hehehe, got 'em good. A part of me is screaming me how much of an idiot I am for not going through with the act, but as the rest of me agrees that I did the right thing, it doesn't bother me. It's good to be back. I never thought I could have missed schoolwork.

On to the next part: Day Sixty Six (Morning)

======

I tried to make some art of my characters like I said I would, but I couldn't get my drawings right. I did however make some lame ass MSPaint-jobs similar in style to the one I did of Akira in FluffAndCrunch's story. If you guys wanna see those, by all means let me know. I won't post them otherwise.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.
Last edited by BlackWaltzTheThird on Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:11 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by Mahorfeus »

You somehow made something erotic with MS Paint. That can't be easy. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by Mirage_GSM »

"You're free to go, though I would advise avoiding any sort of head trauma for a few days."
I'd advise him to avoid head trauma in general. ;-)

How come they are all in the music room half an hour after class started?

It sounds a bit strange that he racounts the events of the burglary using direct speech. Normally you'd use indirect speech for that.
"Nope. We just thought it would be funny to fuck with all of you."
Good we have context for this one^^°
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird »

Mirage_GSM wrote:
"You're free to go, though I would advise avoiding any sort of head trauma for a few days."
I'd advise him to avoid head trauma in general. ;-)

How come they are all in the music room half an hour after class started?

It sounds a bit strange that he racounts the events of the burglary using direct speech. Normally you'd use indirect speech for that.
"Nope. We just thought it would be funny to fuck with all of you."
Good we have context for this one^^°
Er... that half hour thing is an update anomaly of sorts, as I changed my mind about part of it and forgot to update that line. My bad, I'll clarify that in due time. Also, I'm not sure I follow what you mean when you refer to describing the burglary using direct speech as opposed to indirect. Could you elaborate please? Thanks Mirage.

I've also attached the MSPaint-jobs of Seto, Miko, and Daisuke. In hindsight, Miko looks really bad, and Daisuke's chair looks far too large. That's what I get for doing 15 minute scribbles. More to come after the next chapter.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.
Seto.png
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Miko.png
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by Mirage_GSM »

For example:
I could hear them whispering; 'did you hear that?', 'go check it out', 'pass me the gun'.
If you're talking with a friend and tell them about a conversation, you usually wouldn't use direct speech but indirect speech like this:
"I could hear them whispering. One of them asked the other to go check out the noise, and the other one asked for the gun."
You might use direct quotes for an exclamation, but not for three consecutive lines of conversation.

Reading that section again... "I saw the rifle on the bed" vs "a dozen pellet holes"
Did the burglars have a rifle or a shotgun?

And being shot in the kidney - even in both of them - usually you'd bleed to death in a matter of minutes.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
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BlackWaltzTheThird
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird »

Oh, I understand. Thanks for clarifying, Mirage, I'll get right on those edits.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by Mahorfeus »

Daisuke looks like as much of a douchebag as I imagined. :lol:
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
xaolindragon
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by xaolindragon »

Jebus. Surviving a shotgun blast. What a guy.

Still loving every new chapter. This is awesome.
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 62 now up: 29/3/12

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird »

day sixty nine

i woke up lol and realised it was sunday and i needed to do something so i got out of bed and went over to naomis room and knocked on the door

"hay naomi wake up i have a surprise for you" i said
"what katsuro its ealry in the morning i was sleeping

i pointed down to the cardborad box i was holding in my other hand abut waste hight and said "i got a pressent for you naomi please open it"

so naomi opened the cardbroad box and isnide it was my penis lol (AN: dick in a box lol get it? like that meme lol)

"its so big naomi said "it could even be 12 inches long and 3 inchse wide i want to suck it"
"lets go inside youre room then then can i go iside you"
yes"

so naomi and i will go into her rom and closing the door im taking off mmy clothes and showing off my throbbing 12 inch member becase im so manly"
"oh katsuro im so wet and horny you should takke my clothes off"

so i pushed naomi onto the bed really hard and she fell then i climed on top of her and started ripping off her buttons of her shirt and it wasnt working so i ripped her shirt clean off her body! leaving her her bra there its black and lacy and sexy but i dont care i rip it off to and throw it across the room

naomis boobies are so nice and round and perky and her nipples are already hard. i put my mouth around her left nipple and start to lick and suck it ruffly and pinch the other one with my hand. naomi is already screaming in pleasure and soon she has like five orgasms in a row "katsuro please fuck me i want you so bad"

i climb off naomi and kneel at her feet i take her skirt and rip it so hard just like her shrit and bra and it comes off easy so i can see her panties. their soaked and so wet form all her orgasms already and it smeels sexy and amazing when i peel them off her and start licking her perfect hairless pussy.

"oh katsuro keep doing that oh yeah" naomi screams while she fondles her rock hard nipples and i lick and suck her love buton and rim her assh ole with my finger and she has another orgasm which squirts her pussy juice everywere but it doesnt get me just the other things "i want you're massive dick inside my gaping wet pussy" "convince me to do it" "fuck me, put your cock inside me i want it so bad" ok"

i line my huge knob up to her pussy hole and start to press in "wait katusro im a virgin please dont hurt me" "lol no" i press in with all the force i can muster, tearing naomis viriginity to shreds and spilling blood everywhere. naomi screams in pain and says to stop but i keep going and thrust my 12 inches all the way inside her and suddenly she has an orgasm on my cock but im too manly to cum yet so i start thrusting in and out in and out like a baws

i fuck naomi like that for 5 hours and she has 72 orgasms before im ready to cum "im gonna cum naomi" "me to" "but wont you get pregnet"
"no its a safe time you can cum inside me if you want "ok"

so i thrust one last time and naomis pussy quivers around my huge throbbing cock in her orgasm which feels so good i cum a gallon of sperm inside her and it leaks out everywhere "i want to clean it up" says naomi and she users her hand to pick up all the sperm and feed herself with it loike a good girl

when shes done i still have a raging boner and noami can see this "katsuro please fuck me in the ass" "bend over and spread your'e asshole" "ok"

then i stick my dick in naomis asshole and stretch it gaping wide and start fucking here "oh yeah thats so good your the best ive ever had" forgetting im the only shes ever had and will be the only she will ever have

"im going to cumn again" "i want your sperm inside my ass" "ok"

so then i came inside naomis asshole and it gave her 4 orgamss at the same time which felt really good and stuff

"your going to be my sex slave forever now naomi" "no i dont want to do that" "you have to "no!"

then suddenly mewtwo "shut up or i'll EXPLODE YOU'RE HEAD"

"lol no" so then I kamehameha'd mewtwo but he usesd the pshychic at the same time and it made a big exploshun which destroyed ymakau and everybodty died then end

thank you for reading my sroty i hope you like the ending pleaes give me lots of comments but no criticisms coz thats not nice im not a good spellar and englihs is not my first language and i have dysliexia and my aunty died and other reasons so stfu and mean things makes me cry kthnxbai

=================

>_>

<_<

>_>

No, this is not the actual chapter. Happy April Fool's Day everyone.
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xaolindragon
Posts: 46
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 69 now up lol: 1/4/12

Post by xaolindragon »

lol. Nice.

Isn't April Fool's Day on April 1st?
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 69 now up lol: 1/4/12

Post by Mirage_GSM »

He's from Australia. They're always a bit early about everything.
Man, it must have been hard to manually override the spellchecker all the time :roll:
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Lothbrok
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 69 now up lol: 1/4/12

Post by Lothbrok »

And suddenly I had to hide my face as i read this on the bus and muffle my laughter so others don't stare at the stupid kid for the next 20 mins!

That was awesome I was confused till i looked at the date!
Mahorfeus
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 69 now up lol: 1/4/12

Post by Mahorfeus »

My god... what have you done?

link relevant
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The O.H.L.
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Re: Greater Than The Sum - Days 0 - 69 now up lol: 1/4/12

Post by The O.H.L. »

I read most of that April Fools sroty to my friend and we both couldn't breath from laughter.

Also, I read the entire thing today, and you posted that fake chapter while I was reading the normal one. Twas creepy.
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Not that I ever made any great contributions, but oh well, too bad.
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