Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Wanderingheartache]

Sorry I haven't been around much either, I have logged in and read... but for some reason I just can't find the right words to say and I figure if I say nothing then I don't offend. O///O I have an update and I can say that some things are better for me because of a small group of friends, but I am still alone most of the time because of scheduling... I don't want to hold them back either so I tell them to just keep up with their studies or jobs and I'll be fine. I'm finding great difficulty finding a job due to most of the application processes being online and me lacking a cell phone at the moment.



I hope you all have better luck with happiness, n_n I'll still keep smiling in hopes that one day this all turns around and we are happier.

[newnar]

I fucked up bad. Like, really bad. It's probably the end of the road soon so I just wanna thank all of u for contributing to this thread. I've bdeen watching it everyday since its creation and I really am grateful for everything posted here that cheered me up. Even if it's just a little.

[Beoran]

Newnar, that sounds dramatical. I hope it's not as bad as it sounds, and even it it were , then I hope you'll find a way out of it.

[Daitengu]

As for "falling in love" with Hanako, I'd say you are idealizing and admiring her. And for that no real person is needed. I did this a with real girls, but it hurt since I was only craving after an illusion, a reflection I made in my own mind that had little to do with reality. There's nothing but pain that way. So please, try to do what it takes for you to snap out of it.

I find that it's similar to people who idolize/love celebrities. The chances that the celeb really is how you fantasize and the chances of actually encountering them are so slim that they might as well be fictional. I wouldn't someone to feel bad about it, as they usually get over it eventually. I'd only start to worry when they start ignoring reality for fantasy.

[Beoran]

True, Daitengu, that's why celebrities are also called "idols". But one thing though is that it's usually not so dangerous to idolize them since you know they're out of reach. What I was referring to was more t the dangers of idolizing someone who tecnically is "within reach", that you could conceivably, but not really have a relationship with. That's dangerous, I wasted 4 years of my love life in Univerity idolizing a girl like that.

[Alexbond45]

True, Daitengu, that's why celebrities are also called "idols". But one thing though is that it's usually not so dangerous to idolize them since you know they're out of reach. What I was referring to was more t the dangers of idolizing someone who tecnically is "within reach", that you could conceivably, but not really have a relationship with. That's dangerous, I wasted 4 years of my love life in Univerity idolizing a girl like that.

Well, What if you Admire people, but not in a fashion of wanting them to love you or any romantic thing, but rather, respect their accomplishments.

For Example, George S. Patton managed to turn his army around from the fight it was in, go REALLY far, and then proceeded to Liberate Bastogne, He got them there in like, 1 night, I think.

[Beoran]

Well, that's different though, that's respect or admiration. That's not bad at all. If you see something good in another person, then emulate them, but if you see something bad in another person, then ask yourself how you are emulating them. But I was discussing the point of falling in love with Hanako, and in that case it's clear it's more than just admiration, of course.

[durhal]

Ever since I finished Hanako's Arc, I've been feeling depressed. Just because I can relate so much to her, we're extremely similar (personality wise that is).
I've been battling depression for the last 3 years (I'm 17). I never tried committing suicide because I couldn't put my mother through my death.
All the girls at my school are the complete opposite of Hanako, sort of like Misha, well basically they are Misha. I kinda just want to find someone who's personality is like Hanako, who's personality is like mine, someone shy, and it's nearly impossible at my school.
I've only ever managed to talk to two people about my depression, my mother, and my friend. I couldn't talk to anyone else because they wouldn't understand (I've tried).
I know this may seem petty in comparison to other people's problems, but it really affects me. I've barely been able to eat, I've been extremely tired, and my school work has just dropped. I've tried to other things to keep my mind of it, like drawing, and running (I'm currently doing Emi's couch to 5k workout). But the problem arises when I'm not doing anything, like at night, or right now.

I dunno where I'm going with this really, just thought it might be beneficial to talk about it, and see what people say.

[Daitengu]

Ever since I finished Hanako's Arc, I've been feeling depressed. Just because I can relate so much to her, we're extremely similar (personality wise that is).
I've been battling depression for the last 3 years (I'm 17). I never tried committing suicide because I couldn't put my mother through my death.
All the girls at my school are the complete opposite of Hanako, sort of like Misha, well basically they are Misha. I kinda just want to find someone who's personality is like Hanako, who's personality is like mine, someone shy, and it's nearly impossible at my school.
I've only ever managed to talk to two people about my depression, my mother, and my friend. I couldn't talk to anyone else because they wouldn't understand (I've tried).
I know this may seem petty in comparison to other people's problems, but it really affects me. I've barely been able to eat, I've been extremely tired, and my school work has just dropped. I've tried to other things to keep my mind of it, like drawing, and running (I'm currently doing Emi's couch to 5k workout). But the problem arises when I'm not doing anything, like at night, or right now.

I dunno where I'm going with this really, just thought it might be beneficial to talk about it, and see what people say.

I assure you that there are girls around like that. It's just that when people are shy or depressed they tend to isolate themselves. So it becomes harder to encounter people who are like that. It's takes a lot of people watching and wandering around to find a shy person when they are hiding. Especially when they hid in a group so that they don't have to fear other things like bullies.

Learning meditation really helped me at your age. I got some real good sleep when I could kill my brain process. Too bad I used it to run from my problems instead of face them and try to get better.

[Joshp9690]

Gather 'round children, for I will tell you the story of my life (sorry, I just couldn't resist).

Let me give you some background on myself. I'm 15, a freshman in highschool, and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in kindergarten. Aspeger's Syndrome, for those who don't know, is an autism spectrum disorder. To justify it, take autism, but take away the disabilities, and leave the social anxiety. That's basically me. That aside, let's get this show on the road.

Elementary school was hell. All throughout it, I was bullied by a certain douchebag by the name of Jordan for being shy. I got the usual names called: Gay, retard, etc, you know the rest. I sort of bottled it up because I didn't think my parents would be of any help, considering their only advice was to "just ignore it". Big mistake.

After I got out of elementary school (worst 6 years of my life), I was thrust into middle school, and a new school, of course, means new challenges. I had to deal with, you guessed it, more bullies! Stuff was pretty good until 8th grade when the bully clusterfuck begins! I was bullied by not one, but three kids: Omar, Alex, and Chris. Alex and Chris tried to cut my hair at one point, besides the usual name calling. Omar was the usual name calling type, but one day, I finally snapped. Tired of his constant insults, I lost all physical control of myself, and I punched him in the face. He cried. Shortly after that, I was suspended for 3 days. My guess is that my aspergers is why I was let off easy. Thank god for that.

Next up, high school. It's been good. This year, I finally got up the nerve to ask out a girl I like. She promptly rejected me on account of being asexual(fuck my life). Want to know something ironic? It was on Valentines day. I got over it after crying for a bit, but I digress. I've been losing sleep recently, due to medicine I have to take for Tourettes Syndrome (God, I'm a mess). A few months ago, I was hospitalized when my Tourettes got so bad I was having full body spasms, along with gasping. I was...terrible to say the least. I finally got medication that works, after going through 3 types of medication. I'm currently doing fine, despite my still apparent social anxiety. I've made friends with a bunch of people, most prominently a girl named Lauren. I'm not attracted to her, but she's one of my best friends, and she's always been there for me.

Well, that about leads us up to present day. My hobbies currently include video gaming, and doing video game commentary on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/joshp9690).

Thanks for reading.

[The O.H.L.]

Joshp9690: It seems like you are heading into a good part of life, try not to change that because friends are the best thing that you can have besides love.

Newnar: Keep with life, if you were talking about suicide, please don't. Not for others, but for yourself, because you would be missing out on all the amazing things life has to offer. If you feel you need to escape then try to save up some money so you can travel overseas and see the rest of the world. I'm sure it would be a wonderful experience for you.
If your depression acts anything like mine, you just have to be strong and try not to get lost in it's depths. When you feel a rut of it coming on just steel yourself and try to think positive thoughts. Suicide is never the option. I have always hated the idea of suicide, I would much rather hurt the people that caused the pain rather then hurt myself.

Take any advice you see, I'm sure that SOMETHING in this thread will be relevant to you.

[Hadokant]

Idk how long it has been but i'm back to tell my current story

I had suffered constant asthma attacks to the point where i had to go the hospital. As i was lying on my bed i heard someone crying. It was the girl who confessed to me but had anemsia. She ditched school just to see me. I was stunned. I couldn't beleive it. She was crying and was punching me in the chest calling me an idiot. And i told her "it's okay i'm alive, aren't i?". Only this made her mad so she hug me and cryed even more. Soon after she yelled that she loved me. Think lilly for example. I thought she had returned her memories but sadly no. She just confessed. At this point i gave out on my hospital bed. Once i woke up i thought it was all a dream. But no, she was kissing me as i was uncoicussus. After she realized this. She called me a Pervert in japaneese. She thinks i don't understand japaneese. So after i felt better she told me i never answered. "warning: following contains so many love clices that you can make a drinking game out of it"
That should have been the first line =.=. i hugged her and told her that i didn't want to hurt her again but if you are willing to forgive me after i tell you what did then i'll be your lover. So i told her about the past (see part 1) and she was shocked with fear in her eyes. She hesitated a bit and hugged me. She told me to let go and cut away the past. She quoted judas from tod2 (instant miracles do not bring about life now, time will pass, you will slash away your past and rise to the future) i then grab a plastic and cut a bit of my hair and say "i will cut away the past" i wondered why my hair. She gigled at confused experession. So yeah there you go the conclussion of my tale. Thanks for listening and i hope for the best out of all of you guys. Ciao.

[Daitengu]

Man Hadokant, your life story is like something out of a teen romance novel. I'm not envious, though I'm glad you got to have a chance with your dream girl.

[Morph]

Wanted to post something, too, but it was so hard to formulate it took me so long that I was logged out when I was ready and everything I wrote was lost.
Well, then maybe another time.

[Alexbond45]

I haven't really found much problems in myself, but here's what I got.
I have ADHD, add, disgraphia, and I think social anxiety too. I've been tested.
I am 15 (ok: 14, birthday is in like 4 days) and I can easily deflect insults.

The problem with me is that I'm an outcast, out of the loop. Though I prefer this position, as it keeps me out of peer pressure and gives me excellent friends. I have irritating focus problems, I can only focus if it's interesting. I always walk in the oddest way (my jacket is like a military uniform shown in some anime and scifi films. I walk with both hands behind my back and never show emotion. I clamp one hand over the other, so I can open doors for myself/women)

I am struggling with lack of selflessness. I really don't want to give a douche impression on others, and I realize that I'm going to have to straighten out if I'm going to find a companion.

I care extensively for Band, I can't pinpoint why I love music. I figured I loved marching because I moved around and use it as a coping mechanism.

I have a complete family, in fact, both parents work at my high school.

I can also be a very caring person, but people never talk about their problems, even if they knew it was a good thing to do.
Most men think feelings is a sign of weakness, but I see it as strength. I would write more on this, but it is late, so I'm going to bed.

Summed up: I can be very kind, but I still have that old tendacy to be too selfish. Also, its hard for me to say "no"