Hanako Stories

[CrossRook]

Just a couple of things I wrote.

The Girl Who Falls
“My, my, isn’t that an interesting costume,” Lilly said as she traced her hands along the seams and ridges of my Halloween costume, which was lying on the bed. “It certainly feel intimidating, though I can’t recall the character. And what is mine supposed to be? I’m afraid I don’t get it.”
“D-Don’t worry,” I said, “Everyone w-will know us.”
“I trust you… even if the shorts are a little, well, short.”
“T-there’s no t-time to waste then! L-let’s get suited up!”
“Wha-?”
* * *
I found my prey, waiting outside the boy’s dorm. A dangerous troublemaker, laying waste to the innocent students of Yamaku High. A man who must be stopped. It was my duty to these people, to keep them safe.
“Why are we hiding over here?” my sidekick asked.
“Shhh! W-we’re n-nearing on our prey,” I replied.
I pushed her down behind a bush. “When I g-give the w-word, come o-out and help.”
“I don’t think I’ll do much good…”
“Just s-stay here then.”
The man… maybe he wasn’t really a man, but a boy or teenager, was dressed as some insectoid superhero bugman, half his body green and the other half black. He mentioned before that it was homage to a TV show. Crime-fighters like myself were far too busy to watch children’s television shows. He looked around, perhaps waiting for a shadowy contact or dealing arms or some other criminal activity.
He looked away from my hiding spot. Now was the time to pounce. I ran up to him and swung my cape, disorienting him and blinding him temporarily. A quick jab to the left abdominals, a left blow to the chest. Swing back with the elbow and hit him in the head. Finish with a knee to the groin. Simple.
I got the jab in, but my left hand was wrapped up in my cape. Time to improvise. I jumped up, ready to send a flying monkey kick directly to his chest… and I promptly fell backwards.
“Robin! I need your help!” I called out.
“Oh! Is that me?” Lilly asked, “Say something again, I can’t tell where you are!”
The boy knelt down over me, I was sprawled out all over the concrete in front of the boy’s dorms.
“You know, there’s a reason why the best superheroes don’t wear capes, Hanako,” Hisao said.
“I-I’m not H-Hanako… I’m t-the B-Batman, here to stop you!”
“Come on, up you get,” he said extending a hand to pull me up, “We’ve got to get Lilly. She’s wandering off into the woods.”

Exposed
“And… that’s the best I can do. Sorry about that, but when someone lops off a chunk of your hair like that there’s nothing you really can do,” the hairdresser said.

This was awful, absolutely awful. I should never have volunteered at that preschool. It was bad enough the students were so scared of my face, but my hair… it was all gone now. That little boy and his scissors… they came at my head so fast. What would Hisao think of me, now? I can’t go back there, not now. I’ll have to find something else to do.

Maybe Akira could use a secretary, no that would mean talking to too many people. A bookstore? Then I’d have to sell, I’m not pushy. I didn’t want to go help at an orphanage. Too many painful memories. And I’d probably take one of the kids home. There was barely enough room for all four of us in the house as it was, though Hisao and Lilly were so busy with college that we hardly spent time together, jus the three of us.

My mind was wandering. I looked at the reflection in the mirror. My hair was so short. The hairdresser had said when I came in that a cut like this would look good. I can’t see why though, it exposed my scars for the world to see. That kid…

“I think it looks great,” she was saying, “You had such narrow and delicate features under all that hair. Besides, a lock of hair over one eye? That was so last decade.”

“T-thank you,” I managed to squeak out. I really wanted nothing more than to run home and hide for three years until my hair grew out back to it’s old length. “How m-much is i-it?”

“Well, normally with that much hair…” Here comes the pity. She obviously saw the scars, spent time staring at each rough patch, each piece of taught skin. “But since it was an accident and you needed one anyway, I’ll cut you a deal. 2000 yen.”

That wasn’t much but not having a job meant that was basically my week’s budget. This day just got better and better. I got up and pulled the small amount of bills I had in my pocket out. The good thing about jeans did not have to bring a purse. What was the point of those things if you didn’t put on make-up? I handed her two 500 yen notes and a single 1000, thanked her for the service and then walked over to the small waiting area at the front of the hair salon.

“L-Lilly,” I said to the half-foreign girl waiting for me, reading a book in braile, “D-Do you have m-my hat?”

“Oh, all done Hanako?” she asked, closing the book and searching her things. She carried around a large bag these days, though it mostly was filled with books for her classes and other stuff for school. Seeing her and Hisao hard at work every night, studying to do their best… it really made me regret not applying for college. Akira told me she’d help me pay for junior college but she already did so much for me.

“Can I feel it, first?” she inquired, breaking me out of my train of thought.

“Wha- N-no… I-I don’t really l-like it… I’ll b-be fine with just my hat.”

“I’m sure it can’t be bad, they always do my hair great here.”

“I-I j-just… I’d rather just w-wear my hat.”

“Suit yourself.” She stood up and handed over my hat, which I promptly fastened over my head and pulled down low, sheltering my face from any inquisitive gazes. I felt so exposed. Even inside I could feel more air against my cheek.

But I had to spare Lilly from that, from worrying about me. It was bad enough she left her class early to come pick me up after I called her bawling my eyes out. She was so kind to me, such a good friend. I wanted to hate for it but she was Lilly. It was just her personality. If Hisao or I or Akira or heck, even her cousin Shizune were to be struck ill or have an accident or even just be feeling bad she’d drop everything to come be at our side with a hot meal, a cup of tea and a story to calm us down.

I exhaled deeply and said “L-Let’s just go home.”

“Well, Akira called while you were getting your hair cut, she was supposed to pick me up during her lunch break from school. Anyway, I told her what had happened-“ Crap “-and she asked if we’d like to get lunch instead, when you were finished that is.”

Crap crap crap crap crap. Now someone would see it before it could grow back. Someone I cared about. I was hoping to get back home and lock my door until it grew back. But I couldn’t say no, not to Lilly and Akira.

“O-Okay…” I managed to sputter out.

“Great, let me just call her.”

She extended her cane and started tapping her way to the door. Lilly would never have a phone conversation in a business; she considered it the utmost impoliteness. I took her arm and nudged her in the right direction outside. Once through the door, Lilly searched through her bag for her cell phone. Hisao had set it up so that each of us was on speed dial, Akira #1, myself #2 and himself #3. She pushed down the button and held it up to her ear.

Meanwhile, I kept my hand in front of my face. I felt like I was regressing, god I hadn’t done this in ages.

“Akira? Yes, we’re all finished. Well the hairdresser says it looks nice. No, I don’t know what the hairdresser’s hair looks like. Yes, Akira. The café near the cinema? I know the one. With Hanako I’ll be fine. See you soon!” She giggled to herself about the last bit.

The café was one we’d been to a lot recently. Akira liked their alcohol selection and the fact that they began serving drinks early. The food was good enough for me and Lilly seemed to like their tea so it was a win-win-win situation. Hisao hadn’t had time to go there yet so I wasn’t quite sure what he’d think of it but in a way it was like the Shanghai of this city. Our city, I suppose it was now.

The walk was short and brisk. Spring was coming and I could smell the faint hints of moisture in the air. Not that the winter had been particularly long or cold but I hated the darkness and the grey skies. Most people don’t expect me to appreciate something like the weather, considering how much time I don’t spend outside. But I do, I really do. Maybe it was something I heard in a song once or maybe it was seasonal affective disorder. But I hated winter and loved summer. Spring therefore represented hope, a new beginning.

Was that what this haircut was? This god-awful haircut that exposed me to the world? Probably not. It just made me look even uglier and let people see my scars. The sooner we got to the café the better, where we could get a nice booth somewhere in the back.

The café was a small place wedged between two other shops of some kind in the middle of a city block. Inconspicuous and unobtrusive. Pushing open the front door for Lilly, I looked around the restaurant for Akira. The place was completely empty, save for Akira sitting in a booth in the back. That was good, at least. She noticed us and waved us over.

“S-She’s in the back, L-Lilly,” I said.

Lilly gave me a smile and nodded, folding up her cane and letting me guide her over to the booth.

“Yo.” Akira’s greeting was typical and, to be honest, heartwarming. To have such a routine greeting… there was something simple and consistent about it. It implied, to me at least, that she could always be counted on. Was that weird? I think it’s weird to think about somebody.

“So Akira, what do you think of her haircut?” Lilly asked.

“Well if she didn’t have that hat pulled down so tightly I’d tell you. C’mon Hanako, let me see. It can’t be all bad.” I suppose she had a point. Akira’s hair was quite short herself, though that was likely part of her whole masculine attitude.

I suddenly recalled how many people thought Akira was, well, playing for the other team. Crap crap crap. With short hair like this would people think… would they think I was a lesbian? A neurotic scarred lesbian? Oh god oh god, don’t cry, don’t panic, there’s no one here to see you, Lilly and Akira are your friends, they will tell you the truth. This was bad; we should have just gone home…

“It’s alright Hanako, nobody’s around. I can’t hear a single other person.”

Hm? Oh yes, the café was empty. I suppose Lilly was right. It wouldn’t hurt to show Akira. She’d seen my face before, though not my entire body. Lilly had only felt my face. I should be safe, here. Free from judgement. I moved my hand from my face to my hat, slowly. Slipping my thumb under the brim, I lifted it off my head and placed it on the table. A small lock of hair tumbled down in front of my right eye. I guess there were some residual effects from what Hisao called my ‘peek-a-bangs.’ I pushed it back with my hand.

“Well, that certainly is drastic.” Akira looked pensive as she talked, starting deeply at my hair, but occasionally glancing to the rest of my face. What was she thinking? Did she not want to be associated with someone with such obvious scars, in public? I should put my hat back on. I stuck my hand out to grab my hat. Akira was quick to snatch it off the table before I could reach it.

“I like it,” she said. “It’s older, mature. That long, straight hair you had was so high school. This makes you look like a strong, confidant woman. Like a lawyer, like me.” She smiled ear to ear.

“C-Can I touch it now?” the smiling girl, well, woman now, next to me asked.

Well, since Akira liked it… and Lilly was my best friend… Okay Hanako, breathe in and breathe out. This is easy. It’s just hair.

I swallowed, then said “O-Okay.” This stupid stutter. No matter how much I fix it I can’t do anything about it. It’s there, taunting me. Even around people I’m very comfo-

My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Lilly’s hand on the side of my face. The dark side, the scarred side… the burned side. She quickly distinguished what she was feeling, albeit with a quick frown that changed into a fake smile, and then moved her hand up into my hair. Gently feeling around, she would follow a strand of hair to its length and then pick up another one. With my old hair she could feel each strand for ages. Not so much now. She worked her way around my head, noting the slightly longer sections in front of my ears – God, I had sideburns now – then the back of my head, which had been buzzed down. It was awful, just awful.

“My, my, that is short,” she finally said, “…but I think it suits the lines of your face. Frames it. Now, shall we order? I’m starved.”

“Way ahead of you, sis. I’ve got your usuals on the way.”

The meal passed like normal, which I was thankful for. There was no more discussion of my hair. Akira was talking about a new guy she met at work. Lilly tried to bring up some poetry she’d read as a part of a class. I didn’t have much to contribute. It was better if I just stayed quiet.

Lunch was short; Akira had to get back to work. We said our goodbye and then Lilly and I walked home. It was about two kilometers, but the spring air filled my lungs and I felt happy. The outskirts of the city where our little house was were deserted and it put me at ease to walk around here during the day. Sometimes when everybody else was at work or school and I was bored inside I’d go for short walks around the neighborhood. It was quiet and old and a little on the poorer side. Our neighbors were mostly older couples or widows and widowers who hadn’t moved on to retirement homes or the warm weather down south. We must be so strange to them, our little family. I must be so strange to them, the scarred girl who spends most of her time indoors except during the middle of the day when no one’s around to see her. Now that my hair was like this it’d be even worse.

Luckily before I could spiral into a panic we reached the house. A modest place, just two stories and three bedrooms. A small kitchen, bathroom and living room rounded out the rest of the space. As I opened up the door with my key, I looked around the inside of the house. Kitchen on my right, living room on my left, stairs directly in front.

“I’ve got some reading to do, so I’ll be in my room,” Lilly said.

“O-Okay. I-I’ll just be d-down here.”

She smiled and headed up the stairs. She was comfortable in this house too, it was small enough that she knew where each and every thing was. I went over to the small television we had in the living room and turned it on, then turned on the old Playstation 2. Hisao had found it at a flea market or something and bought it for my birthday. It wasn’t expensive but we didn’t have much to spend. It was one of the nicest gestures I’d ever been given. Since then I’d collected a small pile of games. Nothing new or fancy, just fun things I’d managed to come across inexpensively. Hisao wasn’t home yet and wouldn’t be until after dinnertime. I suppose I’d just play games until he got back.

The hours passed quickly. Sometimes while playing a video game I lost track of time entirely. It would suddenly be four in the morning and I’d still be there trying to beat a boss or something. Today was no different. It kept my mind from wandering and worrying.

Suddenly, I noticed the sound of a key being pushed into a lock. The small crackle of the tumblers being pushed upwards. I glanced at the window and saw my reflection. Saw my hair, my terrible haircut and exposed face. Oh god, I was hideous. I couldn’t let him see me like this.

I threw the controller to the ground and dashed up the stairs then straight into my room. Our room. It was fairly empty, save for the pile of books around Hisao’s desk and the small shelf with my dolls and figurines. I quickly shut the door and locked it. I hadn’t told Hisao what had happened. What would he think of me? What would he say? For as much as I…

For as much as I loved him, I was scared of losing him. He had such a bright future, as brilliant as he was. I was dragging him down, keeping him here with my anxiety and scars. Why couldn’t I be normal? Why couldn’t I go out there and face the world like he and Lilly and Akira and everyone else?

“Hanako? Lilly? I’m home,” he announced as I heard the door swing open.

I pulled the sheet from the bed around me tight, curling up into a ball. Something wet found its way across my cheeks, slowly, then it increased in intensity. Tears. I tried to breath in through my nose but I sniffled and found it stuffed up instead. Don’t make a noise, I thought, maybe he’ll just assume I’m not home or I’m in the bathroom or went out for a walk or-

Steps, someone walking up the stairs. Voices, soon after.

“Hi Lilly.”

“Good evening Hisao. I hope work wasn’t too tiring?”

“Eh, it was fine. No big deal. Where’s Hanako?”

“I believe I heard her go into your room just a short while ago.”

“Thanks Lilly.”

Crapcrapcrapcrap goddammit Lilly.

The doorknob of the room turned. We didn't have a lock on our door. Hisao stepped into the room.

“Hey there,” he said. He walked over to the bed and sat down, putting his arm on my covered shoulder. I could feel him through the sheet. “Having a bad day?”

“I-I’m fine,” I heard myself saying, “J-just sleepy. N-Needed to go to bed e-early.”

“Hana… you don’t have to lie to me. I’m here for you.”

Was he? Was anybody? Did I deserve people who were here for me?

“You can tell me what’s wrong.”

This stupid… stupid jerk. He just has to be so nice, so giving. I didn’t deserve his kindness.

“Come on, come out of the covers.”

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.

He pulled the sheet slowly off my face. He saw, he stared. I was hideous, a monster. My hair looked terrible, it couldn’t hide my terrible scars.
He began to laugh. He pitied me, he found my appearance amusing and terrible.

“Was that what this was all about? A hair cut?” He leaned over and hugged me, then forced a kiss onto my lips. He pulled me up to a sitting position and hugged me again, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“I-It l-looks terrible… you can s-see my scars. E-Everyone c-can see m-my scars.”

“Hanako, your scars are part of who you are now. You should wear them like a badge of honor. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I love you, no matter what you look like. Other people just have to accept that, too.” He smiled, a real smile. “Besides, I like the hair. It’s quite fashionable.”

He ran his fingers through it. They were tingling, like electricity running through them. His irregular heartbeat sometimes manifested in weird ways. His hands trembled slightly on an off-kilter pattern. I could feel his heart when we slept with each other, a beat all its own.

I was a beat, all my own. He was right. So what if other people saw?

“Heh, I think it’s shorter than mine,” he said pushing his other hand through his own hair and lifting up a lock at the top of his head, apparently trying to measure the lengths. He kissed me again.

* * *

“Daisuke, what do you say to Miss Ikezawa?”

The little boy fidgeted in his chair.

“S-Sorry… Miss Ikekezawa.”

Mrs. Otsuka gave the boy a smile and thank you, then sent him off on his way.

“It doesn’t look bad at all, Hanako. Still, be more careful around that one. He once cut my shirt wide open. He’ll always find a way to get to the scissors.”

I giggled at the thought of the matronly Otsuka with her shirt slashed open.

Hisao and Lilly convinced me to go back to the preschool today. I’m glad I did, the students bare seem to notice my scars anyway.

I caught my reflection in the window of the classroom. A girl with a black-purple hair, cut short into a pixie cut smiled back at me. Her face was pinkish and scarred from ancient burns. She looked, in that moment, happy. Perhaps the new hair wasn’t so bad. A fresh start was always good, right?

[CarnivalNights]

So....just wondering....

How does Lilly pick up Hanako?

[Dan50]

Poor Hanako she should be more careful around kids.

[Oddball]

That's nice. Very well written and rather cute.

[WolfStreak]

So....just wondering....

How does Lilly pick up Hanako?

With her arms? i'm just kidding, in all seriousness though, good story i like it.

[Guest]

>>robin
i instantaneously lol'ed