I feel... empty (Lilly ending spoilers)

[rebelway]

I think that will happen if you've had a real-life experience that you can relate to one of the characters.

I felt the same way after completing Lilly's route and spent hours trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why I felt so empty until I made the connection to my ex-girlfriend Nicole. It took a while because it's been several years since we last spoke and even longer since we broke up.

You see, Nicole is my Lilly. In fact, she practically *is* Lilly, on so many levels that I wondered if Suriko knew Nicole on a personal level. Okay, Nicole isn't blind but she's half-Scottish (on her father's side; her mother is English), she is tall (5'9", annoyingly taller than me) and has long blonde hair. Her family is extremely wealthy (her father bought her a new BMW 5 series with personalised licence plates for her 17th birthday kind of wealthy) and there was always an aura of refined elegance about her, not so much in her speech but in her tastes and the way she dressed.

Nicole and I had been friends since we were 14. We didn't go to the same school but we would spend plenty of time together after both our classes had finished. Things were perfect. She and I weren't just boyfriend and girlfriend, we were each other's best friends too. Of course there would be the occasional arguments and fights, but we both knew that none of these were ever serious; certainly not serious enough to tear us apart, and they just presented us an opportunity to kiss and make up afterwards. We were both so completely in love with each other that I thought it would last forever. Ah, the naievety of youth.

Going through sixth form (high school for non-Brits), Nicole had her heart set on being a lawyer while I didn't really have any plans, so I just picked the same subjects that she was studying. It was a stupid mistake as I didn't really have any passion for it and ended up getting fairly poor results in my A-levels, way below what was required to go to the same university as Nicole. She went to Bristol while I was lucky enough to get a place at King's College London through clearing (a British system that gives you a second chance at going to uni). Like Hisao and Lilly, we promised to stay in touch, but I think deep down we both knew it was over. I knew I wouldn't get to see her during term-time, and if past history was anything to go by she'd inevitably spend almost all her holidays abroad with her family, be it skiing in Switzerland or scuba diving in the Maldives.

And so it was that she ended up seeing the guy who's now her husband while I went out with a girl who slept with one of my 'friends' from college. It took me a long time to get over her. Several years in fact. Not a day would go by without me regretting it being over and wondering "What if?". I knew it wasn't healthy but I couldn't really stop thinking that way. The fact that I still think about her on occasion suggests that I'm still not completely over her and perhaps never will be, and being reminded of her by Lilly's story has re-opened a wound in my heart I thought long since healed.

I apologise for the rambling length of this post, but I just wanted to let the OP know that he's not alone in this, and it feels oddly therapeutic to write this. If you've got this far then thanks for reading.

Man that's exactly my story except that my girl wanted to be a doctor but I couldn't care less about that subject. My only regret is that I never said a proper goodbye and we ended breaking goodbye on phone. By the time I was at the train station, she was already gone.

[humhorse]

By the time I was at the train station, she was already gone.

This probably explains why you feel the way you do. I guess we both got the bad ending. Do you think she would have changed her mind if you had caught her in time? Maybe I've become too cynical, but I think the 'changing her mind at the last second' scenario only exists in movies and stories. Certainly for Nicole anyway, she had a purpose, a goal and I'd have felt pretty shitty to stop her pursuing her dreams. Maybe it would have worked out if I'd followed her to Bristol, but I couldn't have asked her to give up on her dreams for me.

To the other posters who commented, thanks, I am trying to get over her - I thought I had. I hadn't thought of her in the longest time, it just took a beautifully written VN to bring those memories crashing back. Not that I regret playing KS, I just could have done without the memories :wistful smile:

[DrSkulk]

[deleted]

[Cyraknoss]

To the other posters who commented, thanks, I am trying to get over her - I thought I had. I hadn't thought of her in the longest time, it just took a beautifully written VN to bring those memories crashing back. Not that I regret playing KS, I just could have done without the memories :wistful smile:

Oh man I know exactly what you're talking about. After playing KS I found myself curled up in bed crying myself to sleep and trying desperately to figure out why a VN managed to hit me harder than any other media. Finally realized that all the bad ends had torn up old wounds and reminded me of the last time I can honestly say I was happy, 7 years ago as I walked the girl I loved home after what I thought was an amazing day... about 16 hours later she told me she never wanted to see me again.

I've since gotten back to my everyday routine with a little extra incentive to improve my life.

[Jake]

Lillys endings had me yelling at my TV screen (put the text on auto so i can read it on my TV)
ending spoilers :I got the good ending for her first and I swear to god I thought it was the bad ending. Dispite me being more of a Rin fan I have to say Lillys ending realy got to me. I am in no way masculine and get easily emotional about things but this ending made me feel rage, sadness and confusion. Kinda like MGS3 I guess. I was mad because I expected a good ending to have him catch her at the airport (that was after she left in the car. Prior to that I expected him to follow her to Scotland). Then the whole hospital scene with him saying it was all his fault made me think they were just dragging on the bad ending and punishing me for messing up where i didnt know when I messed up. I actualy saved and called it a night RIGHT BEFORE HASIO WAKES UP WITH THE MUSIC BOX NEXT TO HIM. Whole day at school was spent wondering where I messed up... Not fun -_-

[Zer0]

Man.... I have to say, I know exactly how you guys feel....

I only WISH that I could say the same things as you guys have and tell you that It happened to me in real life... No, instead, I sit here with my thoughts, and these feelings I developed for characters in a game that don't exist, never really having had a girl that I could say I "fell in love" with....

I finished Emi's route first... I did'nt WANT to do hers (at least, not first) because I thought I'd actully get to CHOOSE in this game.. not have the story decide for me based on some opaque choices I made.. (for the record, I don't think it's a bad system, quite the contrary upon reflection, in fact; It just surprised me is all..) I... was just concerned for my character's health... that's just how into role-playing I get.. and then suddenly I was wrapped up in this bubbly girl's story... she challenged my wit, and luckily, the writers made it so that I almost always rose to the challenge.. there was a great back and forth.. openness, and a lot of smiles... and then there was drama.. and then an even deeper connection beyond all that base cuteness and witty banter that drew me into the story in the first place... (I got the good ending) As My character fell in love, so did I. sort of.

It did'nt really hit me then. Then the story wasn't over yet. I knew I was going back to the school to have more adventures and see the other girls that initially caught my interest... I flipped a coin between Hanako and Lily. Hanako won, so I went with her. Her story had a cool moment every here or there, but for the most part her story felt like I was slopping through a mire of mud, shyness, awkward silences, and Emotional trauma, ESPECIALLY when compared with Emi's story... The ending of Hanako's route was extra sweet because of this, I think, her H-scene in particular was compelling. but, ultimately, I can say that I did'nt really Care for Hanako's story.

the last girl I've finished is Lily. ... I got her bad ending first. It hurt, but, like with Hanako, It made it all that much sweeter when I went through it again and finally got to the good end. Lily's story was.. IS special. completely and totally different than Emi's, but just as moving, if not moreso. and I fell in love with Lily too (although, in RL I dont think I could keep up with her as good as Hisao like I feel I could with Emi) I finished her story just two or three days ago. up until just a few hours ago I could think of little else. The lines between reality and fantasy were blurred beyond recognition... I sat at my desk all day and did nothing that day (I work in an office). I visited a big city and watched the people go by. I went through in my head all the women that I once felt even anything SIMILAR to these... It hit me like a ton of bricks after lily's story, partially because she was the last chick I was really 'interested' in, and I'd subconsciously made up my mind that she would be the last.

I still don't know whether I should go back and 100% it or not... I don't think any of the other girl's stories will be anywhere NEAR the level of compelling as Emi and Lily's.... I miss them. It's weird to say, and it does'nt really make sense, but I do.

I'm glad that I found this forum. I thought I was just crazy to be feeling these things, and that no one else could POSSIBLY understand the way I was feeling... It helps to know that there are other's out there going through the same thing. I just wish I knew where to go from here.... (I have some ideas, mind you)
wow, I was fine when I started writing all this, but now the feelings have come rushing back.

Anyways, If you're still reading this, thanks for sticking with me.

-Zer0 out.

[Autopsy]

I think it's only natural for people who get attached to fictional characters to grow feelings and put themselves in situations in which they wish their lives were quite similar in certain ways. This happened to me for both Hanako's and Lilly's routes. I think one of the best ways to get over it is to reflect on what you have learned from the expierience and time. One of the reasons the authors made the endings breif as they did was so people can come up with their own stories to carry it on. All in all it will get better and maybe even change you for the better.

[Perspectives]

I know exactly how you feel. I got so attached to the stories and to the people. While reading through the wheat field scene where she confesses her love, I was nearly breaking down. As soon as we find out she's going to Scotland, I didn't know what to do with myself and just sat there trying to keep myself from freaking out. The stories are so interesting and the characters are just so damn loveable that you truly do get involved, emotionally and mentally, with the game. I'm a fairly masculine guy, rarely show much emotion and I couldn't help but feel all depressed and just wanting to cry at the end, even though I had the good ending. It was sad to see it come to a close and to know that it was done. Now I kind of want to find my very own Lilly.

[Mysterious Stranger]

I know exactly how you feel. I got so attached to the stories and to the people. While reading through the wheat field scene where she confesses her love, I was nearly breaking down. As soon as we find out she's going to Scotland, I didn't know what to do with myself and just sat there trying to keep myself from freaking out. The stories are so interesting and the characters are just so damn loveable that you truly do get involved, emotionally and mentally, with the game. I'm a fairly masculine guy, rarely show much emotion and I couldn't help but feel all depressed and just wanting to cry at the end, even though I had the good ending. It was sad to see it come to a close and to know that it was done. Now I kind of want to find my very own Lilly.

Completely and utterly agree, I went through a nearly identical experience with Lilly's route. Could've written your post myself, actually. Well said.

It's really just absolutely shocking how immersive Katawa Shoujo is, given its bare-bones structure. There are developers and publishers who spend millions of dollars on hugely ambitious projects, with expansive environments, magnificent graphical capabilities, etc. etc., and ultimately they fall flat compared to the simple grace of this relatively tiny 4chan creation. I can honestly say I've never encountered a game that has emotionally snared me to this degree, and I've been a video gamer all my life.

[shaftslammer]

Laugh. Laugh like a maniac and don't stop until you feel better or the police tell you to.

[Paddy]

Lilly's good ending was so... incredible...
... I feel like I haven't gotten the fullness of it from just reading it the once.

I have to play the ending through again someday.

The end reminded me that weakness is not a bad thing. In fact, it's often there for a greater purpose.

Saint Paul, the Apostle, once wrote about his own personal weakness in a letter he wrote to the Corinthians.

"...a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Hisao was given a heart condition by the writers, ultimately for a greater good (I don't think they intended for us to want the bad endings, do you?). So we've got weaknesses - moral, mental, physical, spiritual, financial, and others - that may do us more good than we know. No one's life is hopeless. I'm sure.

[Autopsy]

Lilly's good ending was so... incredible...
... I feel like I haven't gotten the fullness of it from just reading it the once.

I have to play the ending through again someday.

The end reminded me that weakness is not a bad thing. In fact, it's often there for a greater purpose.

Saint Paul, the Apostle, once wrote about his own personal weakness in a letter he wrote to the Corinthians.

"...a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Hisao was given a heart condition by the writers, ultimately for a greater good (I don't think they intended for us to want the bad endings, do you?). So we've got weaknesses - moral, mental, physical, spiritual, financial, and others - that may do us more good than we know. No one's life is hopeless. I'm sure.

Thank God that highlighting that made it easier to read.

[encrypted12345]

While I suffered the most from Rin's route, I finished the game in about the week and finished with Lilly's route. The ending was just so well EXECUTED that I didn't care how cliched it was.

Naturally, after it was all over, I suffered from a minor emotional breakdown. Well, I suppose being in a half dead state for a week, being unable to eat properly for a couple weeks more, and still being highly compelled to lurk on these forums, analyze aspects of the game, and logically debate with haters proves that how moved I was by this visual novel.

Just give it time to pass. Venting on these forums certainly helps.

[Mirrormn]

While I suffered the most from Rin's route, I finished the game in about the week and finished with Lilly's route. The ending was just so well EXECUTED that I didn't care how cliched it was.

It's kind of baffling how that works, isn't it? Normally, I am the type of person who does not care for cliche fairy-tale endings, and I was using a flow chart so I knew I was getting the good ending. Even so, I was panicking as Hisao ran through the airport, and honestly thought I had somehow made a mistake and gotten a bad ending instead. And when I realized the music box was playing (it took quite a while cause I was using tiny laptop speakers at the time), it just made my heart soar with relief and happiness.

[Alexbond45]

I am going through a similar experience in the Lilly Ending, i was really sad at the end, i even shed a few tears (I am very hard to be moved from a story, for the most part, i can sit through something with no emotion, though, there have been exeptions)

Unfortunatly, it is spring break, so im suffering, suddenly, everything just seems so futile, im questioning why im doing everything i do, why do i like strategy, why do i like history, how can i go through the same damn routine every god damn day? The only thing i am absolutely confident of is that I will pursue a career in music, It is the one thing I know, and i will always know.

I am still in High School, im not the super social type, its very hard to put myself in a position, usually, i say leaning a lot towards shy, which makes sense, im not a very outgoing person, the problem is, i am, and yet, im not.
this probably makes no sense though