The Lamb and The Fox

[Tezzeret]

On an unrelated note, an AI Tezzeret just trolled me by not passing turn when I had it in a no-win scenario. -_-

Tezzeret is quite the troll

[gecko]

Why would Hisao wonder if he were Rin's boyfriend, if she was still with her old boyfriend while dry humping Hisao? Hisao is jumping to conclusions that confuse me.

Usually, when a girl is humping you and just explained her boyfriend is cheating on her, there's a good chance she's decided he's her former boyfriend and you're the the new one. But being rushed to an hospital without confirmation, and said girl being Rin, I thought it would be understandable for Hisao to be confused.

[Daitengu]

Why would Hisao wonder if he were Rin's boyfriend, if she was still with her old boyfriend while dry humping Hisao? Hisao is jumping to conclusions that confuse me.

Usually, when a girl is humping you and just explained her boyfriend is cheating on her, there's a good chance she's decided he's her former boyfriend and you're the the new one. But being rushed to an hospital without confirmation, and said girl being Rin, I thought it would be understandable for Hisao to be confused.

Fair enough. He's does the same in the game as well. That could be his Grave plaque

Here lies Hisao

Forever Confused



I suppose it's the disconnect I have with him as a character in general. Must be my age.

[gecko]

I'm a mess for the rest of the week. I don't think I've ever been daydreaming more than that, except maybe during English lectures at Yamaku the trimester after Rin left? It's strange how English is more interesting now that I'm in university, I've nearly caught up the slack between my former useless English and being an average student.

I spend the week-end sleeping and reading some boring novel about some nineteen century French boy falling in love with an older woman. The blurb presented it as a famous masterpiece, full of historical backdrop and subtle character composition. Maybe to some European history buffs, or someone who's never really been in love, but for me, it's boring. Well at least, it passes time.

And if Yukio notices how down I am, or the unopened pack of condoms hiding amongst my medication, he tactfully avoids the subject.

The next week, I decide I can't continue like that. I decide to work. Hard. At least, it will be helpful for something else later down the line. That week, I pick-up the slack I've left the two previous weeks, and still manage to finish my training report and give it to my tutor for review.

On Friday afternoon, I get a message from Mio.

Mio ~ Slaughterhouse tonight?

Hisao ~ No, thanks.

Really, I'm glad she still wants to see me, but I'm not hanging out in a place where I might meet Rin again.

Hisao ~ Elsewhere?

Mio ~ When do you finish?

Hisao ~ 6

I hear no more from her after that. But I decide to really leave at 6, instead of pulling even more overtime, just in case.

Mio is nowhere to be seen in the lobby. I sigh, pull up my raincoat hood, and step out in the rain to head for the station. That's when I cross the gaze of the woman in a white raincoat standing in front of the building.

A big green gaze, with red hairs above it.

Rin.

I try to ignore her but she takes a sidestep in front of me.

"Hi." I try to defend myself with hollow politeness, while someone nearly bumps on us, standing still in the middle of the walkway.

"Hello," she answers, not removing her eyes from my face.

It's a strange feeling. Like she's looking at me, but not really. She's in her world, like back in Yamaku when she was painting. Only this time, her eyes are on me, but I feel more like a canvas than a person she's going to interact with. Rin's world is really removed from normal people.

"I need to talk to you," she says.

I turn around and try to walk away in the opposite direction, but she follows me. I walk faster. She does the same.

Great. Now, I've got two choice. Running away, or facing her. She starts talking while I'm still walking, undecided.

"Hisao, I need you to stop. I've got no arms to grab you. And I'm bad with words. And I've got something to say. I cannot think about the words if I've got to run after you at the same time. Please."

And now, I can be a coward and rude by running away, or I can stop. Plus, I've got to admit, I'm curious. It's rare enough for Rin to be the one wanting to speak – when she's not been given any drugs, at least. We stop behind a street corner, and I wait for her to catch her breath.

"I..." She seems lost for words now. I wait – I'd like to say patiently, but I feel anything but patient. "I think you should change university."

What.

"You look too sad. Even worse than I remembered. You need to find something you like. I'd tell you to do try art, but I remember you left the art club. Maybe science? Emi and Mutou always said I should ask you for help, that you were good at it. Or did you hate it? Was it one of those things you were good at while hating it?"

Mutou thought I was good? That's new, but... "Why do you even care?"

Rin recoils. I must have sounded pretty aggressive.

"Because... I..." She hesitates, then stops speaking. She turns away, looking at some people hurry through the rain. A sea of trendy raincoats, trendier boots, and dark umbrellas, as one would expect in a business district around office closing time.

That's classical Rin. One minute, you think she cares, and the next one, she's shutting you out of her world. And my feet are getting wet. And I expect any moment for someone to turn the corner and put his umbrella in my eye. I decide to disappear, but just as I take a step, she speaks.

"Because I want to be your friend?"

"And you couldn't have thought about it before cheating on me?" I take a deep breath before I get too loud. "Or are you trying to tell me you want us to just be friend? Why have we been nearly having sex if that's the case? Or did you decide that after I had my flutter? You're too good for me, you can't be dating a cripple?"

I've just said the word cripple when I realize what I'm saying. Rin should be the last I suspect of thinking that.

"Go away Hisao."

Now she's angry too. In her own distant way, but I can see it. Hurt too? Are that tears at the bottom of her eyes? Like she didn't know she had it coming... But I'm not a confused high-schooler any more.

"Not before you answer." I need my explanation.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I don't understand the question."

I'm almost tempted to change my decision and leave now. But I decide to be stubborn, step back behind the corner and slowly talk her through the steps of my reasoning. She's painfully close, now.

I ask her if when we were together on her bed, were we going to have sex, when I had my heart attack? Yes, I know she can't predict future, but was that her intention. Yes, she confirms that.

And since, she's had sex with someone else. She doesn't deny it. So, why?

"Because I didn't know you were there."

"You thought I wouldn't be coming back? I told you it wasn't your fault. I asked Mio to tell you I'll drop by!" It would be simpler if you had a phone.

"She told me."

"So you cheated."

"I didn't know you were there that very night!"

"And if I hadn't been there, I wouldn't even know. I'd think you're my girlfriend, while you're cheating on me."

Rin bites her lips, then, suddenly, explode. I've never heard her so loud. Although if there's someone I would have expected not to tone it down for being in a public place, that would be her. But I'm still surprised.

"Will someone one day explain me where's the problem? If you aren't there, how can it hurt you? What is this cheating thing you're all talking about? If you're my friend, I'm supposed to do nothing without asking your permission first? You think I'm a baby? Is that how it works? Can't I have a real friend, or whatever you call that? Someone who cares without treating me like a baby? Is it because I don't have arms?"

And now, she's crying. And I've made her cry. Despite my being sure it's her fault, I now feel bad. I'm going to steel myself and answer again, explain her that yes, refraining from having sex with someone else than their boyfriend is something normal girls do, when I suddenly realize that the word normal doesn't apply to Rin. And, with that, I'm defeated. I don't know what to say any more.

Rin does.

"Go away. You've got your answer? Now, go. Leave me alone."

She tries to step away, but I put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not leaving you again on a misunderstanding. It's too painful."

I'm done playing this game. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm not going away like that. Not to spend the next year thinking about her again. Especially her crying for something I said. That break-up has to be clean.

Rin shakes her shoulder out of my hand, but she stops. Her sandals are now square in the middle of a puddle.

"You're going to catch a cold. Let's get in there." I lead her toward some kind of tea house on the side.

The waitress is busy, but we get ourselves a tiny table near a cold, damp window. What now? I don't even know why I'm being so stubborn. Why not call it a loss and leave her do whatever she wants as long as it's not with me? Rin is looking at the sky, or rather at what small part of it is visible despite the tall buildings around.

"Not many clouds to see," I finally remark out loud. Like small talk is going to solve my problem with her.

"I hate this town," Rin answers to the dimming light outside.

She's still not looking at me, and her raincoat is dripping on the floor and on her pants. I lean over the table to unzip it and hang it along with mine. When I sit down again, Rin is watching me.

"Why do you do that?" She asks.

"Do what?"

"Act like you care."

"Because I do," I answer. "What about you? You went here, under the rain, just to tell me I look sad?"

"I don't mind the rain. What's so bad about it? Mio was so upset about me having no arms to hold an umbrella that I had to wear her raincoat."

We're interrupted by the waitress' arrival. I order a tea, and I see the woman blink when Rin orders hers with a straw. But when the tea arrives, it does come with a straw. And also with a serving of sliced fruits; we might be in an up-scale place; or at least some place trying to act up-scale.

We slowly drink our tea, and I feed Rin some fruit. We remain silent throughout, and, strangely, this doesn't bother me. But, in the end, I decide we can't stay there all night.

It's a difficult decision. I've stopped Rin from going for a good reason, although I'm not able to articulate it, and nothing has changed since. I still don't have any closure. Yes, I decide that's what I'm after: closure. But I don't think I can reach it alone. I pay, and stand reluctantly. I even help Rin with her raincoat, but I'm really unhappy to let her go. I really need more time with her. Or am I deluded? Should I make a clean cut now, all by myself without waiting for her help? Am I even able to do that?

"Hisao," Rin's voice drag me out of my depressing reflections, "can I paint you?"

"Yes." Like I've got any power to change that.

"No, I mean tonight. Would you agree to let me see you tonight? After you've taken your medication?"

I don't accept immediately. That's the excuse I needed to stay longer with Rin, but a small voice in me says that I'm only twisting the knife in the wound, that I'm still going with the flow instead of making a clear decision for myself, and that I should stop being a sheep.

But one look at Rin's green eyes is enough for me to ignore that voice. Especially when there are tears falling from them. I nod.

"I'm doing things wrong again," Rin starts saying, "you don't care that way, do you? That's another meaning of that 'friend' word I don't know? You want to keep some distance?"

"Rin," I interrupt her, "I've accepted."

I retrieve a towel to wipe her tears.

We walk to the subway station, while Rin wonders why I make her cry so easily, and if she cried because she was afraid or sad. Sometime, I think she doesn't understand herself better than I do.

===
Scene 3 over there

[CarnivalNights]

Finally, something that doesn't make me add another hole to my wall.

Slower chapter compared to the last two. How do you see the next few acts and chapters shaping up?

[Bagheera]

This is getting interesting. A lot of people claim they think about friendships and coupling and fidelity and such differently than most, but usually it's just an excuse so they can avoid commitments and do whatever they like. In Rin's case, though, I can easily see that being a genuine concern -- she really doesn't see a link between emotional investment/commitment to sharing one's life with others and physical monogamy/exclusivity. With the way her mind works I can actually buy that; most people can't separate the physical from the emotional in that fashion, but if she actually can -- and, in fact, cannot even conceive of linking the two -- her confusion is understandable. Why be concerned with what she does for fun if her heart and soul are already yours? To her it's like complaining about riding roller coasters or playing video games or going to the beach.

I like where this is going. I also like the slow pace, as it gives things time to percolate and develop properly. I know you probably only have a couple of scenes left, but I'm hoping they're longish and that you maybe do an epilogue or even a sequel to show how things work out later on down the line.

[gecko]

This is getting interesting. A lot of people claim they think about friendships and coupling and fidelity and such differently than most, but usually it's just an excuse so they can avoid commitments and do whatever they like. In Rin's case, though, I can easily see that being a genuine concern -- she really doesn't see a link between emotional investment/commitment to sharing one's life with others and physical monogamy/exclusivity. With the way her mind works I can actually buy that; most people can't separate the physical from the emotional in that fashion, but if she actually can -- and, in fact, cannot even conceive of linking the two -- her confusion is understandable. Why be concerned with what she does for fun if her heart and soul are already yours? To her it's like complaining about riding roller coasters or playing video games or going to the beach.

As Heinlein made one character say about another one in his "old pervert days" (when his novels included a lot of poly-amorous characters) "Geniuses have no use for social norms because they create their own."
For me it goes deeper than just seeing sex as fun time not different from playing video games. It's also like having one friend doesn't mean you can't see the others. Rin views Ken as genuinely friendly / caring, but she knows that she'll never have a connection with him like she felt with Hisao. Paradoxically, I think those two, both being creative types, understand each-other better than Hisao understands Rin. But thanks to that, Rin understands that she has no real place in Ken's world, and that they're just supporting each-other and not promising anything...

On the schedule, I had planned for a last scene, (act3 scene 3) then an epilogue. But I need to split the last scene in 3 parts for reasons I can't write here without spoiling, so I'll have space to develop the end properly (I hope).

[Bagheera]

As Heinlein made one character say about another one in his "old pervert days" (when his novels included a lot of poly-amorous characters) "Geniuses have no use for social norms because they create their own."

Heh. Yeah, I guess that's true. Once you understand how everything works the need to adhere to tradition for its own sake becomes much less pronounced.

For me it goes deeper than just seeing sex as fun time not different from playing video games. It's also like having one friend doesn't mean you can't see the others.

That's what I was getting at. My playing video games has no impact on how I feel about my friends, nor does my hanging out with one friend somehow betray another. There's no inherent need for the physical act to be any different -- yes, it can be emotional and intimate, but so can having a cup of coffee or walking the dog. It's all about where you are in your emotional headspace at the time.

I guess it's similar to the way some people don't care at all about physical infidelities but get extremely upset about emotional betrayals even if there's no physicality involved. That's something one normally only sees in mature, stable relationships, but for Rin it seems to be her default state. It's very impressive for someone her age.

On the schedule, I had planned for a last scene, (act3 scene 3) then an epilogue. But I need to split the last scene in 3 parts for reasons I can't write here without spoiling, so I'll have space to develop the end properly (I hope).

Ah, good. That sounds about right pacing-wise.

[gecko]

"Can you paint here?"

After more than an hour of assorted trains and subways, I've taken my evening pills and we're back in Rin's dorm room. And it's still very small. I don't see where she can paint here. A couple sketches, mostly. I see no canvas or easel around, anyway. I thought she'd bring me to the school – but is it even open at that hour?

I feel strangely indifferent to that. Just being with Rin is nice. All that time on the subway hasn't been boring. Either silent and comfortable, or even fun, like that half-hour trying to imagine other passengers as aliens looking for a cat-bus ride to the space-port. That was a nice break from the drama.

"No. I usually paint at the Slaughterhouse. Or in a classroom." She shrugs. "But I can see you here, too, and it's private. I..." She bites her lips and stops.

I look at her. She's not shrugging any more. Or reminding any of the silliness we've shared. She's watching me intently, with an intensity I've rarely seen her. Is her breath faster too? I suck at this body-language thing. And I don't know what to do.

"You should lock the door," she whispers.

I comply, still confused. Am I supposed to model for her here and now? To undress?

I swallow and put my hands on my shirt buttons. She nods. I remove tie and shirt.

Bare-chested, I observe Rin staring at my chest, and I feel hot. She leans toward me, and traces my scar with her nose and lips.

I understand she has no arms, but her touch still feels very erotic. Plus, the step forward she's taken makes her very close. I now have an erection, and feel very self-conscious about it. I can't continue undressing like that.

I stop moving. I can feel Rin's breath on my collar-bone.

"Do you want to see me?" She whispers again. "You can undress me if you want." She raises her stumps.

I carefully put my hands on the waist of her long-sleeved t-shirt, and pull it up. I brush the side of her breasts in the move. She's not wearing a bra today. Those nipples of her are really cute. I force myself to look higher. When Rin's head emerge, she blinks and shakes it, sending short red hair flying around, and I have to resist my desire to plant a kiss on her nose.

Shit! What am I doing now? Rin knows I'm not an artist. Does me undressing her really means what I think? What about Ken? What about my training period nearing its end?

"You can touch me." Once again Rin takes the initiative.

She turns around, letting me see her naked back. She's beautiful. I shouldn't find her beautiful. Those atrophied shoulders, those ribs I can count, that doesn't look healthy. I suppose it's natural for her shoulders and stumps to be under-worked, maybe that's why she likes long sleeves, but she clearly hasn't been feeding herself properly.

I caress her shoulders, Rin sighs and leans back on me. I put my hands around her waist, enjoying the soft skin around her stomach.

"You've changed."

Last time I undressed Rin, she was really shy about it. Apart from her being already undressed, and being the one asking for my help, of course. Shy in a Rin way? But I clearly remember her tensing when my hand encountered her skin. Every detail of that evening is etched in my memory.

And just before I spoke, she was relaxing her head on my neck, humming as my hand caressed her stomach, as I was delaying the moment I would reach for her breasts. Of course, I just had to ruin it with talk. Do I love drama so much that I have to cause it even when there's none?

"I don't think so." Rin leaves my arms to face me, breathing deeper. "Or is there something wrong with me here too? Is having sex supposed to change normal people? I still feel like Rin. I don't think non-virgin Rin is different from virgin Rin."

"How would I know? I'm still a virgin." That's not something I've ever planned saying to a girl. But somehow, Rin green eyes looking at me make it feel normal. Or maybe normal isn't the right word here. Appropriate?

"Is that a problem?" She asks.

"For me to be a virgin?"

"No, for me to be not virgin." She takes a long look at me. "You act like the sort of person for who it's important."

She's given me pause, here. Do I? I shouldn't, that's not fair. Not that there aren't fishy things with our renewed relationship, but this one shouldn't bother me.

I shake my head. But I don't do more.

Rin is still watching me.

"Is your heart okay?"

I nod.

"Then, you need to stop worrying."

Strangely, this time, I think I understand. I'm letting an uncertain future prevent me from enjoying the present. If there's one thing Yamaku should have taught me, it's to seize the opportunities. To make the most of what life is dealing me, instead of wallowing in drama. If there's something Rin has understood, despite all her strangeness, it's that. Rin is in the present. She doesn't let the past burden her, or try control the future. She just lives. I want to live that with her.

Slowly, timidly, I raise a hand toward her waist.

===
Scene 3 has been divided in 3 scenes (3, 4, 5).
Scene 4 is this way (adult material warning)
Scene 5 is that way (jump directly if underage or otherwise offended by explicit sex)

[CarnivalNights]

Will the next scene (judging from the bottom disclaimer of your last submission) be dedicated purely to adult content?

I like how you've finally slowed the pace down as opposed to making us lose our shit week after week. It lets us prepare for future rage-inducing installments.

[Tezzeret]

Sexy time

Can't wait for the next update man.

[gecko]

I touch Rin's skin, just above her pants waistband, and she shivers. Her breaths become audible. I drag her into a hug, my arms squeezing her naked torso against my skin, my hands caressing her back. The feeling of her naked breasts softly pressing on my own naked chest is incredible. She kisses my neck.

I move a hand between us, and try to caress a breast. My thumb plays with the nipple. Rin shivers again and closes her eyes. I lose control, and when I regain my senses a bit, our legs are intertwined, I've got one hand on Rin's hair, and the other one caressing a buttock through her pants. Rin is moaning, grinding her crotch on my legs, kissing and biting my chest.

If we continue like that, I'm going to come in my pants. I join my legs and hug her while I catch my breath. My heart is beating like I've been running for one long full hour, but it seems steady. Rin opens her eyes. Her gaze is so intense that I feel like I'm on fire. I feel like my head is spinning, too.

She sits on the bed, and raises a foot toward my belt buckle. I help her, and soon, I'm fully naked. I fumble with my socks a bit, and the tension descend to manageable levels. I still have an erection, but it's less painful now. Rin stands for me to remove her pants and panties. I do, then run my fingers on her inner thigh, up to her naked crotch, and she gasps. I try to take my time, to slowly savour the first time I see her naked – the first time I can look and touch a naked girl too. But she hooks a foot around my back, pulls me, and we both fall on the bed.

We're soon entangled again, and Rin is moaning again. We're panting, and I feel one of her feet pressing my ass while I'm grabbing her hair. My penis is on her crotch, and I'd better do something before we go further. I'm too young to have my girlfriend, or whatever she is, pregnant. I freeze, and prop myself on an elbow. Rin stares at me, chest heaving. I have to resist caressing her breasts while I'm looking for words.

As I cool down a bit, I also realize I don't want to share any STD Ken might have. But now, I don't know how to explain that to Rin without sounding petty.

"Next to the towels." Rin's breathy voice tells me.

It feels strange to stand, naked and sweaty and with an erect sex, in a lighted room with someone else looking at me. It's not that Rin is less naked, but I can't say I'm not self-conscious. Yet, she's Rin. And we were going to be more intimate than that. And I can be thankful that someone like her is concerned enough with consequences to be keeping a pack of condoms next to the sanitary napkins in her closet. Is that her logical side, or did Ken make her do? I catch her watching me while I fumble with the wrapper, and decide now is really not the moment to try and analyse her.

And of course, feeling self-conscious as I am, I fumble even more, trying to unfurl the first condom the wrong way, and have to get a second one. But the sight of naked Rin preparing it for me on her big toe is oddly erotic, and when I'm wrapped and back on the bed with her, I feel ready.

We share a kiss, and then, I penetrate her. Slowly. She rocks her hips against mine, while I experience the soft pressure all around my sex.

"You can go deeper," she says between long breaths.

I push harder, this time sliding as far as I can inside her. She moans.

I lose control again, lost in a world of pure feeling and rhythm, automatically moving my hips in sync with Rin's. She pants louder, and wraps a leg around me. Her breaths are cries, now. I feel the release coming but can't do anything but surrender.

#

I move a little more afterwards, while my heart slows down gradually, and Rin seems to appreciate, but the rhythm is lost. Finally, remembering reading somewhere that one shouldn't wait too long for removing the condom, I have to slide out of her.

When I'm done, she cuddles on me, I take her in my arms, and I fall asleep nested between the wall and her warm, sweaty, body.

===
This way for scene 5

[Homeless]

Nicely written.

[Mirage_GSM]

...I don't want to share any MST Ken might have.

MicroStructure Technology?
MicroScale Thermophoresis?
Minimum Spanning Tree?
Missouri University of Science and Technology?
Multimedia Systems Technician?
Monterey-Salinas Transit?

[gecko]

Arg, STD! Forgot to translate the acronym... Will edit that back, thanks for the catch.