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[Zaknafein]

Doomish, all of your writing continues to suck me in, and I hate having to wait on more.

[Nekken]

Whoa. So Hisao post-Lilly's path meets Hanako post-Hanako's path...

Awwwwwwwwwkward.

[Demoneq]

I like story-within-a-story parts, shame the author isn't real, now... though it might be like a well-made trailer of not-as-good movie.
(well, if the book would be real and you'd copy some small parts of it )

[Doomish]

I was bored, so I shopped together a part of my own story. What am I doing with my liiiiiife

Next chapter is coming soon, by the way.

[GG Crono]

This is definitely looking interesting, but I'm just gonna warn you. If this story turns into Final Destination, I quit.

[Doomish]

Believe me, I'm already getting so tired of telling people it's not going to that I wouldn't dream of it at this point.

[Guestimate]

I read this just after Numbered Days. So my mind is likely to try blending these two together. Anyway, interesting premise. I wonder if any of the other paths will come in to play.

[Demonhornz]

I have faith that Doomish will not disappoint.

[Pyrokinesis1019]

So all of your stories connect, and one story has a story within the story, about someone who writes stories.

This does seem pretty similar to Numbered Days, but I guess we'll just have to see what becomes of the whole path-splitting thing.
It's still great so far, though. Keep being awesome Doomish!

[Guest]

Getting a serious Steins;Gate vibe from this, which is funny because I read the first chapter while listening to Skyclad Observer.

[Doomish]

Forget it.

[griffon8]

Hisao grunted. “Fine, you can tell me later; but we have to Inverness. All I ask is that you explain to me why I don’t feel weird about this-“ he gestured to the air around him, “-barely even concerns me.”

'have to go to Inverness' I think is what you want. The rest reads a little confusing. Perhaps “All I ask is that you explain to me why this—” he gestured to the air around him, “—barely even concerns me.”

As usual, I find your writing a little outside my comfort zone. But do keep it up.

[Doomish]

Oh wow, I totally butchered that sentence and didn't even notice. It was originally going to be a whole paragraph of Hisao ranting, but I chopped it down and it didn't occur to me that it might require some rewriting. Fixed now!

Also, do you mean outside of your comfort zone as in content or writing style? Just wondering.

[Guestimate]

Just saying, I hope someone gets to beat the everliving snot out of the abusive Hisaio. Bonus points if our Hisiao does it... er, wait, even more bonus points if "Hanako good ending Hisiao" does it.

[griffon8]

Also, do you mean outside of your comfort zone as in content or writing style? Just wondering.

Combination of both I think. You did write 'With Apologies' after all. *shudder*