A sad story, my story

[TheLastMelody]

That's the problem with people jumping the gun when it comes to diagnosis of this sorts, glad to see you're hanging in there though.
I think perhaps you should find something new to live for now, everyone needs that no matter the condition they are in. Something to believe in, something to aim for, doesn't matter what, just something to keep you going.

The problem with this solution is that it assumes that you are interested in something, I have only lived by immersing myself in the stories of others, but I still do not want to make anything myself.

Actually it more assumes that you are capable of finding interest in something, however fleeting. Like interest in VNs and stories for example. Just the belief is important, some people use religion, others use companionship or family, others work, and others still just believe in living from day to day.
You don't have to aim to be president or anything of that sorts, just something to get through the day, otherwise you really will be empty. It's different from trying to be productive.

I think I get what you are saying.
But I don't get where I go from here, I love good stories, and I don't like bad ones. I am now having hard times finding new good stories. I have no direction, I do not have anywhere I want to go(so to speak). So I do not have any clue of what ... Now I know what Rin felt, being unable to express oneself with words. I do not see what an interest in stories can do.

What good will this belief do me?

[Valtameri]

I guess they work better than sitting at home 24/7, but not by much

Heh, no doubt about that. It's a lonely world sometimes, here at the computer.

It may be lonely, but it is something we have chosen, despite knowing that.

True that also, but after playing KS, i want an another option. Just don't know where to start yet.

[Drake]

I think I get what you are saying.
But I don't get where I go from here, I love good stories, and I don't like bad ones. I am now having hard times finding new good stories. I have no direction, I do not have anywhere I want to go(so to speak). So I do not have any clue of what ... Now I know what Rin felt, being unable to express oneself with words. I do not see what an interest in stories can do.

What good will this belief do me?

I couldn't say, but it doesn't really have to make sense, least not to others.

I know a guy, we had a similar discussion a few years back and he told me his belief was finding truth. I thought it was ridiculous then, still kind of do since most truths we can come up with is relative at best. He insists he enjoys it though, has a liking for mysteries and all that. When we're watching movies, sometimes he'd just hit the pause button and start rambling on about what could happen. Something that, unfortunately, seems to have rubbed off on me.
I don't consider it productive, barely see a point in it, but he seems happy enough and I can't deny he gets really fired up when he's trying to "solve" something.

Similarly I have my own things I believe in, things I can look back on and feel like I have achieved something. Even if it benefits no one else and no one else realizes it, that's the most important thing here.
Unlike that month I had in 4th grade during school break where I spent it hanging around malls and watching TV, WTF was I even doing then.

[Drake]

Apparently it was 9th grade not 4th, my bad. We don't use the grade system here.

[TheLastMelody]

Heh, no doubt about that. It's a lonely world sometimes, here at the computer.

It may be lonely, but it is something we have chosen, despite knowing that.

True that also, but after playing KS, i want an another option. Just don't know where to start yet.

I see, good luck then, finding what you want. ^_^

I think I get what you are saying.
But I don't get where I go from here, I love good stories, and I don't like bad ones. I am now having hard times finding new good stories. I have no direction, I do not have anywhere I want to go(so to speak). So I do not have any clue of what ... Now I know what Rin felt, being unable to express oneself with words. I do not see what an interest in stories can do.

What good will this belief do me?

I couldn't say, but it doesn't really have to make sense, least not to others.

I know a guy, we had a similar discussion a few years back and he told me his belief was finding truth. I thought it was ridiculous then, still kind of do since most truths we can come up with is relative at best. He insists he enjoys it though, has a liking for mysteries and all that. When we're watching movies, sometimes he'd just hit the pause button and start rambling on about what could happen. Something that, unfortunately, seems to have rubbed off on me.
I don't consider it productive, barely see a point in it, but he seems happy enough and I can't deny he gets really fired up when he's trying to "solve" something.

Similarly I have my own things I believe in, things I can look back on and feel like I have achieved something. Even if it benefits no one else and no one else realizes it, that's the most important thing here.
Unlike that month I had in 9th grade during school break where I spent it hanging around malls and watching TV, WTF was I even doing then.

I see... And yet I don't. I suppose I will just wait and see what happens the next 9 months. Maybe I pass away, maybe not, I kind off hope for both, I want to live, yet I don't. Such conflicting feelings...

[Drake]

Well, guess I have trouble explaining things clearly too.

Dying is not easy though, doesn't matter what the situation or reasons are behind it. Either way good luck, I'm a NEET myself and have been slapped with the autistic label, so try and hang in there for all our sakes yeah?

[TheLastMelody]

Well, guess I have trouble explaining things clearly too.

Dying is not easy though, doesn't matter what the situation or reasons are behind it. Either way good luck, I'm a NEET myself and have been slapped with the autistic label, so try and hang in there for all our sakes yeah?

Say, how does being a NEET work actually?

And dying is almost too easy in the opinions of far too many whom knows that too well.

[Drake]

Well, guess I have trouble explaining things clearly too.

Dying is not easy though, doesn't matter what the situation or reasons are behind it. Either way good luck, I'm a NEET myself and have been slapped with the autistic label, so try and hang in there for all our sakes yeah?

Say, how does being a NEET work actually?

And dying is almost too easy in the opinions of far too many whom knows that too well.

Well the general image is that you are an adult (18+), live a semi-isolated life, are not working, studying or training and are relying on someone else to support you. Ie. your parents or the state.

Your comment about dying just confused the life outta me.

[TheLastMelody]

Well, guess I have trouble explaining things clearly too.

Dying is not easy though, doesn't matter what the situation or reasons are behind it. Either way good luck, I'm a NEET myself and have been slapped with the autistic label, so try and hang in there for all our sakes yeah?

Say, how does being a NEET work actually?

And dying is almost too easy in the opinions of far too many whom knows that too well.

Well the general image is that you are an adult (18+), live a semi-isolated life, are not working, studying or training and are relying on someone else to support you. Ie. your parents or the state.

Your comment about dying just confused the life outta me.

The comment about dying was referring to the ones left behind by suiciders, people left behind by others whom fell on... let's say ice, and landed in a bad way, simply on the way out of the house front door. I think those left behind by those accidents think it is far too easy to die, if you can die form just stumbling and landing in a bad way, you see?

So basically, you do nothing but relying on the state and/or your parents for survival?

[Drake]

The comment about dying was referring to the ones left behind by suiciders, people left behind by others whom fell on... let's say ice, and landed in a bad way, simply on the way out of the house front door. I think those left behind by those accidents think it is far too easy to die, if you can die form just stumbling and landing in a bad way, you see?

Well yes, that's accidental death and humans are fragile creatures at the end of the day. I was talking more about contemplated death, suicide, that's not an easy thing to do mentally.

So basically, you do nothing but relying on the state and/or your parents for survival?

Yes, but it's more about the relying on others bit. It's a matter of not contributing towards society (or attempting to) while being a part of it.
NEET = Not in Employment, Education or Training.

For example if you had your own land and a setup where you could sustain yourself without any real work, then you wouldn't be considered a NEET but a hermit.

[TheLastMelody]

The comment about dying was referring to the ones left behind by suiciders, people left behind by others whom fell on... let's say ice, and landed in a bad way, simply on the way out of the house front door. I think those left behind by those accidents think it is far too easy to die, if you can die form just stumbling and landing in a bad way, you see?

Well yes, that's accidental death and humans are fragile creatures at the end of the day. I was talking more about contemplated death, suicide, that's not an easy thing to do mentally.

That is true, that I know.

So basically, you do nothing but relying on the state and/or your parents for survival?

Yes, but it's more about the relying on others bit. It's a matter of not contributing towards society (or attempting to) while being a part of it.
NEET = Not in Employment, Education or Training.

For example if you had your own land and a setup where you could sustain yourself without any real work, then you wouldn't be considered a NEET but a hermit.

[/quote]

I think I get it. But how do that work out? What do you do in everyday life?

[C27]

There's more ways to contribute to society than holding down a workaday job. Try taking up art, writing or some other creative pursuit if you feel like "making yourself worthwhile." Society produces much more than it needs for everyone's survival, most work goes toward luxuries and fluff like that anyway.
Regarding the NEET thing in general, there's a big difference between people who want to contribute and aren't able to for various reasons and people who don't want to contribute and live like parasites instead. They're completely different situations, and that's something that many people (especially on the right end of the political spectrum) don't seem to be able to comprehend. What people need is a fair starting point and a good opportunity to contribute to the world in their own way.

Reading threads like this make me realize how lucky and coddled my life has been, even though I'm struggling financially and have a host of problems myself.

[Drake]

I think I get it. But how do that work out? What do you do in everyday life?

I mentioned beliefs before, that is what keeps me going, I'd be pretty much miserable all the time otherwise. Not that I don't have times of depression and misery now, but it could be a lot worse. That is why I tried to get accross how important it is, it's something that can keep you together in the worst of times.

Day to day pretty much involves the same routines which include things like reading, playing games, listening to music. I rarely go out unless I have to, but that is not to say that I don't enjoy the outdoors. It's just hard to relax during the day cause everything's so busy, so I prefer the night which is quieter. I do enjoy the sun.

What people need is a fair starting point and a good opportunity to contribute to the world in their own way.

What people need to do is see the potential in all actions and skills, not just the most obvious and recognized ones.

[TheLastMelody]

There's more ways to contribute to society than holding down a workaday job. Try taking up art, writing or some other creative pursuit if you feel like "making yourself worthwhile." Society produces much more than it needs for everyone's survival, most work goes toward luxuries and fluff like that anyway.
Regarding the NEET thing in general, there's a big difference between people who want to contribute and aren't able to for various reasons and people who don't want to contribute and live like parasites instead. They're completely different situations, and that's something that many people (especially on the right end of the political spectrum) don't seem to be able to comprehend. What people need is a fair starting point and a good opportunity to contribute to the world in their own way.

Reading threads like this make me realize how lucky and coddled my life has been, even though I'm struggling financially and have a host of problems myself.

Seeing this post makes me think that the way I think and handles things are the problem then. I don't know why it does, and it probably was not you intention, but that is still my conclusion. I suppose I should try to think differently.

I think I get it. But how do that work out? What do you do in everyday life?

I mentioned beliefs before, that is what keeps me going, I'd be pretty much miserable all the time otherwise. Not that I don't have times of depression and misery now, but it could be a lot worse. That is why I tried to get accross how important it is, it's something that can keep you together in the worst of times.

Day to day pretty much involves the same routines which include things like reading, playing games, listening to music. I rarely go out unless I have to, but that is not to say that I don't enjoy the outdoors. It's just hard to relax during the day cause everything's so busy, so I prefer the night which is quieter. I do enjoy the sun.

What people need is a fair starting point and a good opportunity to contribute to the world in their own way.

What people need to do is see the potential in all actions and skills, not just the most obvious and recognized ones.

I agree that people should see all skills, not just the most recognized ones. But I don't have any skills at all, and I think I get your point now.
Hmmm, there is no way I can contribute with anything to the society then.

[Drake]

Hmmm, there is no way I can contribute with anything to the society then.

Neither can I really, not that I haven't tried but it always ended badly, for a variety of reasons. I could point the finger at myself or society, but we're all just as messed up as the other, in more ways then one.

Not saying anything about the way I do things being good, or "healthy" or that sort of thing. But it keeps me alive and that is worth allot more to me then approval. I've struggled with suicidal tendencies before, and it wasn't the thought of the people left behind that drew me away from it.

We'll all find our own ways to live, I think you will too. But if I may just quote Rin, sometimes I really think the best way is when you feel that "It's alright to be me after all".