Creation of a new (original) VN

[Ockbald]

@Francis:
Several interesting ideas, though I'd recommend you trying to boil it down to a pitch. KS had people talking and thinking about it for ages because of the passion of the people behind it and the interest of the people around then, it's hard to do so when you arestill figuring it all out.

What kind of pitch did you have in mind?

Something short, straighfoward and interesting. It's much harder than it sounds, but I feel it's the best way to create a "base" for the project to florish and get people interessed.

[Weaver]

I think everyone pitching story ideas should come up with a document of some sort. It doesn't have to be long, but just some plot mock ups and brief descriptions; if you can draw seeing characters would help.

From my experience starting a public project is a snowball effect. No one wants to jump onto a sinking ship, but once things start going well and you get that initial rough product going suddenly everyone in the world (it seems) wants to be a part of it. Additionally, people are very ambivalent towards taking leadership roles because well... it's a stressful position.

[Francis]

Something short, straighfoward and interesting. It's much harder than it sounds, but I feel it's the best way to create a "base" for the project to florish and get people interessed.

I think everyone pitching story ideas should come up with a document of some sort. It doesn't have to be long, but just some plot mock ups and brief descriptions; if you can draw seeing characters would help.

From my experience starting a public project is a snowball effect. No one wants to jump onto a sinking ship, but once things start going well and you get that initial rough product going suddenly everyone in the world (it seems) wants to be a part of it. Additionally, people are very ambivalent towards taking leadership roles because well... it's a stressful position.

I will be coming up with a pitch in the next few days. Agreed on the leadership thing, from personal experience x3
So you guys are free to do whatever, I will phase out for a bit.

[Weaver]

Something short, straighfoward and interesting. It's much harder than it sounds, but I feel it's the best way to create a "base" for the project to florish and get people interessed.

I think everyone pitching story ideas should come up with a document of some sort. It doesn't have to be long, but just some plot mock ups and brief descriptions; if you can draw seeing characters would help.

From my experience starting a public project is a snowball effect. No one wants to jump onto a sinking ship, but once things start going well and you get that initial rough product going suddenly everyone in the world (it seems) wants to be a part of it. Additionally, people are very ambivalent towards taking leadership roles because well... it's a stressful position.

I will be coming up with a pitch in the next few days. Agreed on the leadership thing, from personal experience x3
So you guys are free to do whatever, I will phase out for a bit.

Nice to hear it! I'll be checking the forums semi-regularly to see what you come up with

[Ockbald]

Francis and to all others: We all want to see your stuff! Even if nothing comes from it, just to see you try hard can be a cool experience.

[AnonLurker]

I'll be working on a short backstory for War and make up some main characters then.

[Weaver]

I'll be working on a short backstory for War and make up some main characters then.

Great stuff, can't wait to see it

[Ockbald]

I'll be working on a short backstory for War and make up some main characters then.

I'm looking foward to it.

[gekiganwing]

It seems like this thread is being used to develop stories or games. That said, I have written numerous concepts for visual novels in the Ideas Dump thread of the Lemma Soft forum. In other words, I have plenty of ideas for stories and games. But every time I actually start writing, it takes hours or days before I start to think "this game is completely derivative," or "this story is a shallow self insertion fantasy." Hopefully other people here aren't struggling with this same problem...

[Weaver]

It seems like this thread is being used to develop stories or games. That said, I have written numerous concepts for visual novels in the Ideas Dump thread of the Lemma Soft forum. In other words, I have plenty of ideas for stories and games. But every time I actually start writing, it takes hours or days before I start to think "this game is completely derivative," or "this story is a shallow self insertion fantasy." Hopefully other people here aren't struggling with this same problem...

Well, at least maybe you respect your favourite authors a little more now :p
Writing is really hard, even though it seems easy because we do it every day. It takes revisions, re-writes, edits, practice, and sometimes just the will not to give up.

IMO start with a short story, post it online and ask users for constructive feedback. It can be scary because some people will just flame you because... well, it's the internet; but try not to let them get to you.

[AnonLurker]

Well, I have a more detailed basis for the original idea I had, but I tried to keep it short and concise so that its easy to understand and open to editing.

Future War

Backstory
In the distant future, mankind has spread outward into the frontier of space with the help of space dilation: a technological means to slip into another dimension of space and travel nearly instanteously from point A to point B without the concept of light in the equation. For a time, humanity prospered without hindrance, but with mass expansion follows inevitable conflict.

In 2582, the reigning superpower of the Milky Way galaxy is the Intergalactic Republic (IR). However, at this time as well, a new power emerges from the farthest frontier of the Milky Way known as the Outer Rim Union (ORU), who seek to seperate from the law of the republic and create their own. Most colonized planets have taken sides, leaving an almost equal playing field, but there are some which have taken a neutral stance.

Planet Faesyl is one such neutral planet with it's vast forests and underground water system and home to a relatively young colony. Here the people simply want to live without outside influence in the main colony of Eaglestead, but that peace will shatter once the Intergalactic Space Navy (ISN) carrier Loreena comes into contact with an ORU flotilla carrying a terrifying new weapon.

Main Characters

Ensign Alexander Falken (21 yrs/old)
- Fresh out of the Martian Officer's Academy, Alexander becomes an E-suit pilot (a mecha capable of rapid space maneuvering) in the ISN. He is a native of the first domed colony of Mars until being stationed on the ISN carrier Loreena under the command of Kasumi Haze. He is enthusiastic and wants to live in the glory of battle, but such a concept will soon be twisted once he meets his potential partners.

Lieutenant Kasumi Haze (34 yrs/old)
- A seasoned combat veteran with dozens of engagements under her belt, Kasumi serves to both command and teach Alexander whilst being his wingman. Although she has a zero-tolerance for stupidity, Kasumi does care for her squadron mates and partners. Over time she tries to teach her wingman that life in the military isn't all that cracked up to be and that basic human needs will eventually hit home.

Maria Vogel (18 yrs/old)
- Maria is a quiet resident in the city of Eaglestead. She is bound to a wheelchair from being paralyzed from the waist down as the result of a pirate attack previously in her life. Despite that episode, she carries a positive outlook on life and believes that everyone and anyone needs a second chance to redeem their actions. She will question Alexander's motives for joining the military and see if she can change his morals.

Lieutenant Hilde-07 (20 yrs/old)
- Stoic, calculating, and extremely dangerous: these words are used to describe the product of ORU's super soldier program using cloning and biological enhancement. Hilde-07 is the seventh clone in a series designed to create the perfect E-suit pilot. Orders and objectives are her life, but deep down in her being something stirs when she fights the headstrong Alexander. She will give him a glimpse of what he might become if he dives too deep into his chosen life.

[Guest]

Here's a thought on a theme that I don't think has been touched in a VN before.
Space colonization.
You're one of roughly 1000 people who have been frozen in stasis and sent on a many-lightyear journey to an exoplanet that the scientists on earth assure you is habitable. The game begins as you wake up and your gigantic ship enters orbit seeking a place to land. Throughout the game, you'll have to deal with the internal friction and politicking of the rest of the crew, survive being dumped into a hostile and unknown environment, building a sustainable settlement, dealing with the *other* spacefaring civilization that wants a piece of the pie you thought you had all to yourselves, and somehow between all of this, developing a personal life! These goals will conflict often and in difficult ways - but of course, there's no possibility for a return trip in the works, so you'd better get things right.
Opportunities exist for hard-sciency fun and dealing with what happens to people when they're stuck with each other in a small community for the rest of their lives, under backbreaking working conditions and no room for failure. It's a recipe for interpersonal relationships becoming either the glue that holds everything together despite the odds and promises a bright future, or a dagger in the back (possibly literally). And that, dear player, is up to you.

Have you read John Scalzi by any chance? I'm reminded of The Last Colony. That's not a bad thing, by the way. I think it's an interesting idea for a game.

[C27]

Alexander becomes an E-suit pilot (a mecha capable of rapid space maneuvering).

I really liked this up until this point - space-fighter-mechs are just horribly overdone, and they make no practical sense whatsoever. If you want mechs in space, perhaps they could have a role in orbital construction, and fighter-like small craft could be toys for rich people or communications runners if there's FTL transport but not FTL communications; but combat applications simply don't work for either of them for multiple unavoidable reasons. I can throw physics texts in if you'd like.
The rest of this sounds good, though. Consider having the characters as the crew of a smallish independent patrol ship, maybe?

[Koopason]

Since im pretty much always living in a sort of fantasy land, I have made up my own idea'd that could work as a VN, I guess I can dig up/ create new ones if anyone is interested.

[AnonLurker]

Alexander becomes an E-suit pilot (a mecha capable of rapid space maneuvering).

I really liked this up until this point - space-fighter-mechs are just horribly overdone, and they make no practical sense whatsoever. If you want mechs in space, perhaps they could have a role in orbital construction, and fighter-like small craft could be toys for rich people or communications runners if there's FTL transport but not FTL communications; but combat applications simply don't work for either of them for multiple unavoidable reasons. I can throw physics texts in if you'd like.
The rest of this sounds good, though. Consider having the characters as the crew of a smallish independent patrol ship, maybe?

It was actually a trade-off between the mech or a duel-environment (space and atmosphere) fighter aircraft. Much of what I put down was a mix of trade-off's like: officer or enlisted, space or land, etc. I'll take the independant company ship as a possible revision though.