If you *actually have* a physical disability, what is it?

[megamanrulesall]

First off, I won't go into the aspects of the mental disabilities I do have. However, if you are curious to read about them, you are more them able to do so. Probably best just to click my name and view my posts for the easiest way. Since I am scattered around a bit.

One thing I found out really recently, is that due to something congenital (from birth) was that apparently in my neck, I had something of like, the gap that is between the spinal cord and the vertebrae that allows for some aspect of movement between, the gap was shrinking to the point of bone against nerve. I first noticed things probably a good 2 years back, but my mom (back when I lived with parents) would never take me seriously. Even to recent times it was the same. I practically had to be all loud (not angry really, just loud) for her to get the point that, I did my damnedest to endure as much as I could and that even at times, when my legs felt like Jello during work, I didn't quit or ask to go home. Yeah, maybe I did have to sit a while and "gather energy back" but at least I pushed through. It took the fact that one day, my body feeling like lead and me feeling really sad for her to "get the point" and then have things get checked out.

I had my neck surgery November. The doctor said if I didn't get this, it could have led to full paralasys from the neck down. Considering the fact that 4 vertebra were involved, chances are, it may have been in that danger zone of stuff that controls things like breathing and bodily functions, but I have no idea how true that is or not.

Still, I seem to be persevering and the doctor says I can return to work February. Whether or not anything changed or not other then not worrying about paralasis or not is just something I have to wait & see on I suppose. I have made really good progress within the almost 2.whatever months that have gone by. Yeah, I have one hell of a scar that runs from the base of my skull down to near the top of my shoulderbaldes, but it is something to remind me of it.

one other thing, which the doctor thought could be related, and maybe is, or just not cureable, is the aspect of how my body's sensitivity levl to touch is to the point of near nonexistance. Hard to describe that feeling. I mean, yeah, if I get cut or something, then it registers stuff. But say, if one were to want to rub my arm or something, or even slap it till it was bright red, even then it may not register much. The only way I would probably know is due to the faint temperature differance and seeing them touch me. He mentioned something about there being something he called "Spinal cord signal change" which is something that can't be fixed. No clue what effect it is having on me either though.

Makes me feel weird as, for me, knowing that a partner doing their best to give me some form of tactile pleasure (Be is sexual or not) and having to have them realize it has no effect on me and them being sad, would in turn make me sad. And before you suggest it, no I an not into pain related sexual thingies. (Yeah, talk about getting technical with my words there brain. >_<) But yeah. For me, it is kinda like, why bother trying for a relationship. Maybe that is negative to some, but for me it is just how things are I guess. It just is, kinda like neutral or something.

So yeah. Hopefully, I am not being too wordy or long with my post. IF you wish to ask more about me and other stuff, be it after you read my other posts or not, feel free to ask. No matter the question, chances are I'll answer it. Just how I am. THERE ARE NO BAD OR WRONG QUESTIONS!!!

So yeah. Anywho, take care everyone.

EDIT: Probably could be considered as physical that I just remember (Forgot as I use the computer almost always so as to not have to be in a situation) but my fine motor skills are nearly nonexistant. For example, printing, which some may take for granted, to me, is harder. My dad would always say that my printing (not meaning writing as in cursive stuff) was like "Chicken Scratch" I was usually the only one who could read it, and even there were times where I couldn't read it and I had forgotten what I wrote.

I kinda laugh at my dad's comment looking back.

If I were to print the previous sentence in a legible manner, it could very well take me 5 minutes or more due to the sheer amount of force of will I have to exert over my hands and the muscles. Even then in the middle of small words, having to stop because my hands/arm wants to cramp up. I don't even remember cursive. I can barely do cursive, and even then has a touch of the old "Chicken scratch" in it. XD So, yeah. I have tried my hand at drawing, and sometimes it is kinda meh. But then again there are other reasons why I haven't done much other then it seems my nad not wanting to obey my brain. But it is more a mental thingy I suspect.

I brought up something interesting elsewhere, can't remember if here or another forum. Would something that is a mental condition that affects one in physical ways be allowed to be considered as physical?

The reason I ask, is because some people speculate that some with Aspergers/Autism to be a mental realted thing, when it has to do with the aspects of the nervous system.

For me, other odd things that I suffer from are things like, hyper sensitivity to certain types of smells. For me, anything that is chemical like, literally makes me choke, gasping for air, unless I say, use my shirt as a breathing filter. Heck, I can barely go down the detergent isle. And worse, I was in a job at retail. I didn't have to be in the isle. Even being 3 or 4 isles away, the smell was as though a "Normal" person perhaps opening the lid, and sniffing the smell from the top. Sometimes making my stomach upset as well.

Sometimes my hearing is almost too sensitive. This is going to sound a bit weird, but has any of you ever noticed how loud and deafing the sound of pure silence is? I know that sounds like an Oxymoron, but it is true. It is a type of noise that makes you wish to make ANY form of alternative noise to temporarily get rid of it.

And, what about aspects of being overly sensitive to bright light, were one has to wear sunglasses most of the time when it is sunny, even even if you want to read a book, because the light bouncing off the page, can make your head feel funny?

These are other things I have to deal with. Let's just say I have all sorts of things with me that are "messed up".

Granted, I have lived with it so long, it is no longer "Disabling" so to speak, as once you find a way to make it not hinder your life, can it then be considered as disabling, or instead, merely something that is a nuisance? Just throwing that bit of mental chewing gum out there for you all the think upon.

For me, I only really see the neck thingy and the surgery recovery as being disabling. And, the symptoms I had. I hope, that work will not make those symptoms return, but if they do, then I'll just know I have to cut back on certain things and be limited in what jobs I can do, sucky as it seems. For me, at least the important thing is the mindset and mental fortitude you have in the face of it all. I am the type to give more then everything I have and if that isn't enough, then there is nothering more that I can do and I just have to accept it. Getting upset about it, hating yourself wondering why things are one way or another is not the way to go.

For those of you who have that which you consider disabling, I ask you not to hate yourself and do your best to simply accept the fact that sometimes, as f*cked up as life can be, there is times where no mattter the amount of effort one can put out in all its forms, sometimes, things are the way they are and ones just has to come to terms with it. Once you are able to, you will realize that you can live your life without that burdening weight and perhaps try to find happiness of some sort.

So to all of you that have what society labels as a "disability", do what you can, try to think positive as best you can and show society that disability is just a word that they use to put others down and that YOU WON'T allow yourself to be put down.

Hopefully, my words have inspired some people.

Someone mentioned I inspired them simply from them reading about my "Life story" which I posted in the "Why I can't play this game thread". If you wish, feel free to read, then if you want, feel free to PM me. I am always happy to talk to others. And, as I stated above, there are no wrong or offensive questions to me. So if you want to ask something but are afraid of how I'll take it, just ask away, ok? ^_^

[Terrato]

I am technically epileptic , but my seizures are not provoked by light but by stress -__- , i am not joking last year (2011) i suffered one after my exams finished ¬_¬ , even though my epilepsy doesn`t affect my daily life , it makes me worry and sometimes cry over how my future will be , so i try not to get close to anyone for fear of having a seizure near them and hurting them emotionally .

I have epilepsy as well, and i know how you feel. I don't know if you we're born with it or not but i developed it at about the age of 10. My brother also has it and from time to time i must endure the hardship of watching him convulse in my arms. So i don't know if you know what it's like to watch someone you love have a seizure but i just want to point out that it's in those moments that despite how poorly woven a relationship between a brother and I may be that even i begin to lose myself to tears. Despite you not being conscious, it's during these moments that you realize how important you seem to the ones you love. So don't try to steer clear of getting close to people. I've come to terms with my epilepsy, accepting the fact that the flicker of light through the leaves in wind can send me to the ground, or that a splash of water in the face while swimming can cause involuntary muscle spasms. Live life carefully, theres no reason to ignore life itself.

PS. Enjoy it while you can

[AutisticPsycho]

Very bad nearsightedness, I'm only a foot away from my screen, possibly less and the title of the thread here is probably 20pt size, and it's pretty blurry, can make some of the words but not all.

Also, Spondylolisthesis. At least, according to the chiropractor I see. Means part of the spine has "slipped" out of the normal curvature of the spine. Not that bad, causes some lower back pain from time to time.

And flat feet, possibly...

Also, a mental disability per my screenname.

[megamanrulesall]

I just remembered a couple of times where someone had an epileptic seizure I think. One was a long time ago. I think we were in some hospital or something. Barely remember it.

But, the place I work at, is a place that allows people with disabilities to work and I am sure in turn, feel good about themselves. I will admit, seeing some of the others who work there pretty much makes me feel as though nothing is wrong with me.

But, recently, I think this was a bit before my neck surgery, there was this Annual meeting thingy & I got some sort of award. I don't really remember it that much. But one of the people there apparently had a epileptic seizure. My dad & I rushed over to help. I don't know why, but I felt like crying even though I was helping out.

Considering how I at times seem to be a type of mirror for peoples emotions that could be labeled as negative, which for this person's mom would have been probably, fear/scared/crying I felt the same. Man, I don't even know what to say. I mean, it felt good that we were able to help, but the shock of the event itself. Still makes my insides feel funny in a odd way. >_<

I can't possibly imagine what must happen to someone actuallly expriancing it. It looks like it would be almost like pure terror, like a awake nightmare that you can't wake up from or something. >_< All I will say, is that it was exhausting. I do not know whether it be due to the fact that I rarely feel negative emotions and that "MIrroring" took a lot out of me due to how normally, negative things like that pass super fast and this lasted a LOT longer, probably a good 20 minutes or so (Details are hazy). Still, I can't imagine what it must be like to actually be having one.

Anywho, that is all for now. My head and torsoo area feels a bit odd remembering that event. Take care all.

[Terrato]

I just remembered a couple of times where someone had an epileptic seizure I think. One was a long time ago. I think we were in some hospital or something. Barely remember it.

But, the place I work at, is a place that allows people with disabilities to work and I am sure in turn, feel good about themselves. I will admit, seeing some of the others who work there pretty much makes me feel as though nothing is wrong with me.

But, recently, I think this was a bit before my neck surgery, there was this Annual meeting thingy & I got some sort of award. I don't really remember it that much. But one of the people there apparently had a epileptic seizure. My dad & I rushed over to help. I don't know why, but I felt like crying even though I was helping out.

Considering how I at times seem to be a type of mirror for peoples emotions that could be labeled as negative, which for this person's mom would have been probably, fear/scared/crying I felt the same. Man, I don't even know what to say. I mean, it felt good that we were able to help, but the shock of the event itself. Still makes my insides feel funny in a odd way. >_<

I can't possibly imagine what must happen to someone actuallly expriancing it. It looks like it would be almost like pure terror, like a awake nightmare that you can't wake up from or something. >_< All I will say, is that it was exhausting. I do not know whether it be due to the fact that I rarely feel negative emotions and that "MIrroring" took a lot out of me due to how normally, negative things like that pass super fast and this lasted a LOT longer, probably a good 20 minutes or so (Details are hazy). Still, I can't imagine what it must be like to actually be having one.

Anywho, that is all for now. My head and torsoo area feels a bit odd remembering that event. Take care all.

it depends... sometimes they come out of nowhere. in which case you never remember fading out, but you remember fading back into consciousness, feels like having run a marathon, nearly impossible to make coordinated movements.

in other situations you'd be able to remember the stress which caused an epileptic episode. but other than that, you have no idea what happened until you are truely "awake." and i don't mean as soon as you start talking. Immediately after an episode you pretty much revert to a toddler. its not until about an hour or so after till you realize what happened, and if there was no one there when you had one, then you don't even know it ever did happen. Its scary to think about. but you fear for your life to prevent them

[Aust Kyzor]

Osteoarthritis. It's painful to hold my hand out with my fingers straight.

I also recently learned that I have displaced knees.

I have synaesthesia as well, but that doesn't count

[yure22]

I am technically epileptic , but my seizures are not provoked by light but by stress -__- , i am not joking last year (2011) i suffered one after my exams finished ¬_¬ , even though my epilepsy doesn`t affect my daily life , it makes me worry and sometimes cry over how my future will be , so i try not to get close to anyone for fear of having a seizure near them and hurting them emotionally .

Hi im back! The other day i went to the doctor because i had a problem in my left eye , they told me i suffer from Pars planitis a disease in which i see ``white snowflakes``
around the corner of my eye . This means i am now both epileptic AND suffer an eye disease ;_;

[trekki859]

ehhh... this game has become the source of a rather personal morbid joke for me personaly ^^ i found out i have a arrythmia in my heart.. from what ive been told its a inherited one, and comes from my dads side of the family. my heart takes to long to complete a beat and i end up getting light headed and dizzy pretty easily now. in a rather devious random act of god, i found this out going through my evening exercises the day the focus trailer came out. passed out on the treadmill i was using and ended up being rushed to the hospital as my heartbeat was rather erratic. just got out last week as a matter of fact, have a pacemaker now. >.> at ninteen no less... eh... meh.

[Diumlol]

If this counts, my acuity without glasses is 20/400.

[leechmaster]

i figured id post here since i voted, i was born with a heart murmur my hear beats irregularly/ skips a beat. i guess it kind of game me something to bind myself to the main character. i also have bad eyesight and hearing, the hearing is my own fault over the years of listening to music to loud "i have my reasons". my eyes i have noticed in the last few years are getting verry bad i lack funds for glasses sadly so i manage as is but i have gotten to the point i have to lean in to read anything on my computer, also have to walk right up to the tv when ever i need to read things on it (not even a small tv lol). anyways i just wanted to share

[C27]

20/180 vision or thereabouts without glasses(I forget exactly), and bad knees that give me intermittent pain (apparently the muscles/ligaments don't connect properly). Still pretty weaksauce compared to a lot of you.

[Deaf Builder]

From working with machinery i am almost deaf in both ears. From building wood furniture, to machining parts, to construction, to working in the oil pits.
Nowadays, I am generally guessing what others are saying. For example if someone asks "How are you today?" I hear "H..re..y..day?", and if it is at work I just do not hear anyone at all, just smile and nod, maybe look confused if it seems important.
It is quite an annoyance, especially when trying to figure out what I am suppose to do at times and we are given bunch of verbal instructions.
I gone through the procedures millions of times so I know what I am doing, even double checking everything and getting someone to verify it at times.
Can be quite a nuisance.
Pretty much have a memo pad and pencil with me everywhere so people can write down what they are trying to tell me.
Now working as one of the supervisors.
Forcing all the newbies to wear hearing protection now, do not want them to end up like me, ain't fun nor cool.

Lesson to you all, wear your freaking hearing protection! Being half deaf ain't fun!

[KaneTaker]

Can see all of three feet without glasses.

[C27]

Can see all of three feet without glasses.

I'm more concerned that you have three feet.

[Welath]

By the rate my vison have been falling the last forever of my life i will be leagly blind in about 3-4 years -.-"

Might get lucky and i will be stable for the rest of my life but i still cant see the screen without glasses. And then i mean the screen not the text on it.