Not gonna happen. I repeat, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Or to put it another way, "The story and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
EDIT, AGES LATER: yeah this is still very much not gonna happen, but I got an itch to write some more about OCs, so you might see more scenes added in when the fancy strikes me. ...If I get to any sort of an end with this, you'll know KS has been stewing too long without release.
Storycodes: chi hi ke li nk shm nosex
SHADES OF DISTINCTION
1-Jet Black Night
---
There is a group of students in front of the hall, painting stalls in different colors. One of them is probably made by me.
Luckily, none of the students pay me heed when I walk past them to the boys' dorm building.
I'm tired enough that I'm getting a nauseous feeling. And walking is not helping it.
But, I need to get to my room if I want to rest...
...Fuck it, I'll just collapse here.
Just in front of the main door, I feel my knees buckle after a particularly dizzy spell and manage to lean on the jamb before sitting down hard.
Just for a while. I'll just catch my breath for a while...
'What's wrong with you?'
Huh?
In my current state, I'm not even completely sure I really heard the low voice I think I heard. In any case, hey phantom voice, you should be a little more polite...
'Even if it's usual for you to collapse like that, I'd still say there's something wrong with you. That's why I skipped asking "Are you all right?" altogether. Sorry if that sounded rude.'
That is... much too articulate for a figment of my imagination.
Opening my leaden eyelids a crack against the campus illumination, I peer woozily around.
The jamb I'm leaning my back against is bathed by a diagonal sliver of light, but the other one is in shadow. In that shadow, someone stirs.
'I'm not imaginary.'
'...Uh, did I say those things out loud?'
'Yes. You called me a phantom and a figment. You don't seem to be all that sick, do you need help?'
The voice is still very low, but it is definitely identifiable as female. Blinking owlishly, I resolve a blurry shape sitting against the opposite door jamb.
'Ah... sorry, I thought I was imagining things. No, I don't need help. I'm just very tired.'
I wearily rub my eyes and the bridge of my nose. It helps me focus a little, and I can make out a silhouette rigidly set in an L-shape, back stiff and legs stretched straight out, with a mass of...
... ... ...
...GREEN hair? Maybe it didn't help that much after all, and I'm still not seeing things straight.
'Good.'
With that single lapidary word she concludes our exchange.
***
Minutes pass silently, and a trickle of energy returns to my body. Apparently, I am drained enough that even standing was an effort forcing me to rest.
Not wishing to pass out and spend the night sleeping in front of the dorm, I keep myself awake by observing the girl opposite my location. She's certainly more interesting than the rest of the school at night, at least.
Now I think I'm clear-headed enough to be sure of it. The cascade of hair spilling down from her scalp past her shoulders, and almost down to her buttocks, is indeed bright green. Between the unusual length and the unusual color, I suppose she really likes to attract attention.
She also seems to be wearing a curiously bulky white stocking on her left leg, while the other has a sock.
'You're staring.'
With an oddly languid start, I break out of my reverie. I have to admit I was doing exactly that.
'Sorry... I guess it's my turn to apologize for being rude.'
I end the phrase with a yawn, which rather spoils my show of contrition.
A little embarrassed, I try to cover up with something. Anything.
'So, what are you doing here?'
Not exactly inspired, but I'm not in brilliant shape either.
'I'm waiting for Sirius.'
'...eh?'
'Sirius. The star.'
She doesn't SEEM to be joking.
'You're waiting for a star... while sitting in front of a dorm.'
'Yes. It should appear there.'
She points her index finger with assurance in a direction I can't even make out clearly.
'It's a little cloudy, so it might take longer than usual.'
She doesn't SEEM to be crazy either. But then again, who would do this sort of thing without being at least a little bit... odd? I mean, she doesn't even have a telescope or anything.
'Are you, uh, sure about that?'
My skepticism must have been noticeable, but she just nods confidently.
'I can't say when the clouds might lift, but I'm sure of the location. It's where it was pointed out to me.'
This is all too weird for my poor, fatigued brain. I thought dealing with Rin had made me somewhat used to this kind of conversation, but this girl has me disoriented by being both perfectly understandable and completely strange. I grope for what sense I can discern in all this.
'You must really like astronomy.'
She shrugs briefly, sending all that hair in gentle motion at the same time.
'Not that much, actually. I just know this one and a few others.'
The simplest solution I can think of doesn't seem to be the right one this time. I just give up and return to my rest, letting out a sigh.
'Sirius, huh...'
'You won't be able to see it from there.'
I blink a couple of times before figuring out what she's saying.
'I won't? Why not?'
'That wall is blocking your view. You'd have to be at least in the doorway to see, but then you'd be in the way.'
Again she points to landmarks I can't even see, as though they were clearly marked. What's more, how does she know about this so exactly?
The oddity of the whole conversation sweeps me up. I feel somehow cheated at not being able to see... Sirius. Through no fault of mine. Before I can really process it, I just blurt out what comes to mind.
'I see. Would you mind if I sat next to you then, to see Sirius appear?'
The lighter oval of her face turns my way. Her scrutiny makes me feel instantly uncomfortable, for no reason I can understand. After a few seconds, she shrugs again.
'Suit yourself.'
I lift my butt from the cold floor, gritting my teeth as my body protests. It can't be more than three or four steps to her location, but my fatigue turns even that much into a chore.
Plunking myself down gracelessly, I take a pause keeping my eyes closed and catching my breath before trusting myself to not become nauseous again.
'You look terrible. Are you sure you don't want to get some sleep instead after all?'
That would be the smart thing to do, but now that I've gone this far, damn if I'm going to give up that easily.
'Don't worry, sitting down will... let me... rest...'
I trail off, and I know I must be staring just as before. I can't help it.
Looking down into her face, I made contact with two blood-red pools inset between thick black lashes. Her eyes. Halfway between fascinated and horrified, I can't seem to break my gaze away from them, and I wonder again whether my vision is playing tricks on me.
The moment of frisson passes unceremoniously as she turns away.
'Well, if you're sure.'
She resumes looking at the sky, and I'm too dumbfounded to follow suit.
Wiping the back of my hand over my eyes, I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm awake and seeing things correctly, even through my being bone-weary and the gloom in front of the dorm.
The profile of the smallish girl at my side is unmistakably graced by long green hair, carefully plucked black eyelashes and brows, the sort of paper-pale skin you'd expect from the kimonoclad ladies found on ancient wallscrolls, coral pink lips, and eyes with crimson irises.
I'm taking a pass on polite manners this time, this is unique enough that anybody would think me justified. She doesn't seem to mind any longer anyway, watching fixedly the spot she's interested in.
This close, I can also examine that too-big, textured stocking that starts just above the top of her shoe and disappears under her uniform skirt. After a couple of seconds, I finally realize that it's not a stocking... but a leg cast. That would explain her oddly stiff sitting pose.
'Hm, so... just where is Sirius supposed to appear, then?'
I've gotten more interested in this strange girl than in stargazing right now, but I figure I should keep up at least a pretense of my original intent.
She points once again wordlessly, and this time I can follow the line of her extended arm and finger well enough to see the relevant patch of sky. It's a section sandwiched between a wall and a tree, likely I wouldn't have been able to see it from the other side of the door, just like she said.
Nodding, I shift into a marginally less uncomfortable position on the floor. The voices of the students I passed before barely reach us, but the stillness of the night is growing.
'By the way, I'm Nakai Hisao. I transferred here recently, to class 3-3.'
Partly to keep the conversation going and partly to fish for information, I try wording my introduction that way. I don't think she'll fall for it, but...
'Aoyama Chiyo. Just today I returned to class 2-1, after a leave of absence.'
What do you know, it worked. An underclassmate? She does look small, but I figured she was just a bit short.
'Pleased to meet you, Aoyama.'
That makes her turn away from her scrutiny to look at me straight in the eye.
'Are you, really? Huh... likewise, I suppose.'
The sharp and loaded answer, and the steady gaze she threw me while she said that, freeze out my plans about casual small talk. She never changed her tone, but I still feel that I won't get away with inanities in her company.
Since I can think of little else at the moment, I concentrate on watching the sky and getting my strength back.
***
Time flows through the night, quieting sound little by little and painting everything in ever blacker shadows. Occasional students wander by, sparing only a curious glance, if that, for the odd couple sitting outside before vanishing into the dorm, headed to their comfortable rooms.
The night air is getting fresher. On the one hand this helps me to stay awake, on the other hand I'm somewhat underdressed for this sort of thing. Plainly put, no matter how much I squirm there is always a bit of me in contact with the ground that feels like it's freezing.
I want out of this situation. I entered it on impulse, and a little driven by my curiosity, but waiting in nearly complete silence with time for reflection has made me realize it's not my smartest idea by any stretch.
...And yet, I stubbornly don't want to admit defeat, because it feels like losing to the girl quietly sitting at my side. She has hardly moved for the entire time, focused on her goal.
A star which might or might not be there... what a strange thing to be waiting for.
I'm rescued by Aoyama pointing yet again. I nearly miss the significance of the gesture, lost as I am in my musings and feeling isolated from the world.
'There.'
And truth be told, it is there.
At first I feel disappointment. Is this what we have wasted this much time for? Yes, it's bright and twinkling in the night sky - but it's just a star, after all. It's not like I never saw the stars before.
Then I recall Aoyama's previsions, and the pinpoint of light takes on a different significance. It is exactly where she said it would be, honoring an unlikely appointment with an unlikely pair of admirers. In that sense, its appearance is nothing short of a minor miracle.
I just nod, and we spend some time just looking at it in companionable silence. Aoyama looks pleased with herself, wearing a small smile in confirmation of her being right about how the world works.
'Do you like the night so much, Aoyama? You seem so... comfortable with it.'
Her smile vanishes and she seems to give my question careful thought. In the end, she shrugs lightly.
'I prefer it to the day. You're right about me being comfortable with it, but I wouldn't call it a matter of like.'
'And now, I have to go, Nakai. I think you should too.'
She starts levering herself up with her one good leg, shifting her balance with slow care while aiding herself with her arms. That can't be easy, and I climb to my feet faster than I'd like to, in order to give her a hand up.
'Here, let me help you.'
I offer her my hand.
'Please don't touch me.'
...The polite, unexpected refusal hurts.
Not looking at me one time, concentrating on her efforts, Aoyama stands up under her own power. Standing there with my oustretched arm slowly falling back to my side, I feel like an idiot.
She takes a few seconds to shuffle into a stripe of light and dust herself off before turning that red glass gaze on me.
'Thank you, Nakai. Good night.'
So she doesn't want me to touch her, and she keeps up a screen of courtesy, eh... I know what that means.
'Good night, kohai.'
I put in a similar barb of my own, maybe it's petty but I am tired, fed up, confused and frustrated at this whole pointless... THING that happened.
The glass gaze cracks.
I see her eyes blinking and focusing on me in bewilderment. She tilts her head to the side a little, and she is not looking in my direction but looking at ME this time.
'...That's... right. Ah, um, yes, please excuse me, good night, Nakai-senpai. I really have to go now.'
Smiling brilliantly while her pallid complexion turns rather rosy, Aoyama gives me a precise, profound, respectful bow before turning around and hobbling away from the dorm, the leg cast moderately hindering her progress.
...What the HELL? My brain feels like melting. Sleep now. Maybe I'll make sense of this tomorrow.
***
The dim hallway lights are not enough to illuminate the mess already gathered in my room.
Instead, the darkness dwelling inside seems to be seeping out when I pull the door open.
I don't push the light switch on when I close the door behind me, nor do I care to go and brush my teeth.
Undressing and taking my medication is all I can manage anymore today.
The darkness in my room engulfs me too before I pull the sheets to cover myself.
-SC
Shattering your dreams since '94. I also fought COVID in '20 and '21, and all I got was this lousy forum sig.
I wake up on my own, still feeling fatigued, even though my still-dormant alarm clock says I have more than enough time to leisurely get ready for school.
This isn't good... I was so tired after yesterday that I didn't manage to do anything in the evening.
The array of bottles neatly arranged on my night table claims my attention.
Screwing each one of them open and extracting the correct number of pills and capsules feels revolting, and not because it's a bothersome chore even though it is.
It doesn't feel good, doing this first thing in the morning, day after day. I wish I didn't have to take all of these meds, but it can't be helped.
But one thing at a time. I diligently swallow the medications and stand up, stretching my protesting muscles.
One hot shower and change of clothes later, I'm feeling slightly more human, and head towards my class.
***
...Well this hasn't been pleasant, though I guess it was to be expected.
I've been spacing out and fighting to avoid nodding off throughout my classes. As the hours passed, it became harder and harder to keep my head off the desk.
Lunch break granted me a little respite, in that I could give in and take a nap right where I was instead of eating. Head resting on my crossed arms, the brief snooze gave me some energy back.
I wouldn't have had any use for food anyway; my stomach has been giving me this slightly nauseous, sickish feeling.
In addition, I haven't gotten away with this scot-free. First, my note-taking has been atrocious, when I have managed it at all. I'll definitely need to borrow some notes from my chuckling classmates, later.
Second, Mutou has called me aside during homeroom to have a "talk". I'm going to the nurse's office to get myself straightened out instead of getting detention, probably because I'm so new, but I don't know if I can count on him being so lenient again.
And third...
I believe I had better not ask either for notes or for slack from Shizune and Misha. Their amusement and lack of mercy would hit me with a force incomparable to what I have to deal with already. At least, if the repeatedly pointed looks (and in Misha's case, incessantly stifled giggling) I noticed coming from them during class are valid clues.
So. Sandy-eyed and bummed out, off goes the conquering hero. Yay me.
***
Even feeling as vague as I am, I easily find my way back to the Nurse's office. ...It's a little disheartening in its own way that I feel I could find it blindfolded already, considering my overall lackluster sense of direction.
What's more, it looks like I'll have to wait a bit. Some guy just came out of the office, and another one who was waiting before me got called in. He seemed to be nursing a tender nose, so hopefully that won't take long. I mean, how serious can THAT possibly be?
Considering where we are, I prefer not getting an answer to that question after all.
With a pained sigh, I sit on one of the chairs set up for patients awaiting their turn. Laying back, I close my eyes and consider going to sleep again here and now.
Too bad that the chair, exactly like every chair in every waiting room ever, is uncomfortable as hell. Doesn't stop me from wishing and trying.
'Oh. Hello, Nakai-senpai.'
This must be what they call déjà vu. Similar feeling of exhaustion, similar uncomfortable position, similar voice registering on my consciousness... it's like getting a free time-warp to last night.
...
Holdonaminute.
First, now that I think about it, déjà vu is supposed to be a feeling of remembering something you're just now experiencing, not something you HAVE already experienced. Second...
I crack my eyes open a sliver.
...oh you have got to be kidding me.
Standing somewhat stiffly right next to my seat, the unmistakable figure of Chiyo Aoyama appears in my field of view, startling red eyes plaster cast green flowing hair and all.
Someone in the Universe's control room must be laughing his ass off right now. I just know it.
'Uh. Hello, Aoyama.' I manage the bare minimum while I recover from my slouching position and try to rub the sleep from my eyes. If nothing else, the jolt from the surprise is helping me recover from that.
'Is this seat taken?'
'Huh? Oh, no, no it isn't. Go right ahead.'
'Thank you.'
Formalities done, she lowers herself carefully in the chair next to mine, leaving her bad leg sticking out straight. It's the only sour note in her very composed demeanor.
I'm wondering about how we stand after last night. She is behaving correctly, if detachedly, but I'm not sure how much of that is a facade covering dislike for me... or something strange... or nothing at all.
In other words, I am completely baffled, just as before. I decide in favor of asking the most obvious, innocuous question to test the waters.
'Uhm. Aoyama, are you feeling sick?'
She looks at me for a couple of seconds before bringing her index finger to her cheek and answering thoughtfully, contemplating the ceiling.
'Hmm, not quite, Nakai-senpai. I have an appointment with the nurse. I suppose you could say that I'm here to stop feeling sick, rather. Yourself?'
'Well... I'm feeling a little under the weather, yeah. I didn't get much sleep last night. ...I'm surprised you look so fresh, actually, since we went to bed around the same time.'
Not only fresh, her face looks much more pink and healthier than her hands. The pallor that I remember from last night seems to be gone.
'I probably got more sleep than you. I didn't have lessons this morning, only a series of tests.'
You cheater.
'...Wait, a SERIES of tests?'
She nods briefly. 'Yes. After my leave of absence, my preparation levels had to be checked before I got admitted to class.'
Nothing of the sort happened to me when I transferred a few days ago from a different school. And after several months of hospitalization, to boot. I wonder what the heck that "leave" of hers was for?
I'm curious, but I'm not going to ask outright. Especially since we're hardly on very friendly terms.
Double-especially because odds are good that it's somehow related to her disability, and I'm sure to screw up something while talking about a subject that makes me feel so awkward.
So I just nod, and feel vastly relieved when the door opens to let tender-nose out, his face screened from the world by a beak of gauze. A muffled call coming from inside the room sounds vaguely like "Next!", and I hesitate for a moment.
'Would you like to go first, Aoyama?'
She shakes her head, sending her tresses swaying. It's an incredible amount of graceful movement for so small a gesture.
'Please go on, senpai. I'm a little early for my appointment anyway, and you're feeling ill.' Because you missed out on sleep even when I warned you shouldn't, nyah nyah nyah.
She never says it, but my treacherous mind appends it to her sentence. My feelings of chivalry cool down... for various complex reasons.
'NEX... oh hello, Nakai, Aoyama. What's holding you up?'
We must have wasted too much time, since the Nurse has poked his head out the door. I stand up like a broken jack-in-the-box and hurry to the entrance, undirectedly apologizing to the world at large.
***
'Well that wasn't smart.'
Hearing it put so succinctly, inwardly I have to agree.
'Nausea, insomnia, exhaustion... all those can be caused by your meds. You didn't HAVE to go and help them along by tiring yourself out though, Nakai.'
The Nurse sighs and sinks back into his chair while I finish putting my shirt and uniform jacket back on. He looks disappointed and weary, in that distinctive way I've come to recognize as unique to medical professionals.
'What did I say about unnecessary risks?'
'Uh, not to take any, for any reason?'
'Good to see your memory isn't off. Makes having to worry about your judgement that much easier.'
'...Sorry, sir.'
He starts clattering at his computer keyboard, pausing now and then to rub at his eyes. Since I've gotten used to him being always genial, the difference in his behavior is hitting me pretty hard.
'Um, sir... am I in trouble?'
'In trouble? Well, not with me you're not. Yet.'
Ouch. While it's a relief to hear that, it sounds like I'm not quite off the hook.
'But with yourself, that depends. You tell me.'
'Er... how do you mean?'
He looks at me from the corner of his eye, still typing.
'Why did you do that?'
I have wondered about that myself, though of course too late for it to do any good.
Why did I do all that work for the girls? And why did I push myself that hard? It's not like I had to.
If I had really wanted to, I could have said no and bailed out anytime, and I knew that there was this kind of risk involved.
I'm certainly not feeling suicidal or trying to off myself for no reason. So I took that risk because I felt it was necessary for... what?
Interrupting my musings, the Nurse stops his work and faces me, scratching the back of his head.
'Nakai... let me tell you, you don't have to try to fit in so hard, or so soon.'
While I'm blinking and trying to digest this, he forges on.
'I think you might be trying to overcompensate for the time before you came here. Which was lonely and scary, I'd guess.
While I think it's very positive that you are so willing to look for friends, it's not going to do much good if you kill yourself in the process. So use a little more caution. Your schoolmates aren't going to think less of you for taking care of yourself, I assure you. And *ahem* the staff is going to feel downright delighted. Do you get the hint?'
'Yes sir. Yes, I do.'
'Grand. But drop the sirring, it makes me think there's someone respectable standing behind me.'
Grinning, he gets back to his computer. Mulling over what he just said, I have to admit that there's some truth to his statement. After my heart attack, I have been all but isolated from society.
I might... have been desperate for some human contact, some warmth to share. In other words, I have been mortally lonely. I have to remember all that's changed now, if I just want it to be so. I don't have to be grasping desperately.
...I must also admit that all those girls have been a very important factor in my willingness to strain myself, but I don't think I need to inform him of this little detail just yet.
'So, how are you feeling right now?'
'...Fairly well. Still a little sleepy, but the vertigo and wooziness are gone.'
It's the truth. Whatever he gave me to chug down took care of my stomach upset, and the nervousness from my encounter with Aoyama and from having to face him has countered most of my sleepiness.
'Mmm hmm, very good. Well now, I think you can go rest up and let Aoyama in. Your school day is shot anyway, I'll write you a note to give to Mutou.'
'What's Aoyama here for, anyway?'
'Hmmm? Didn't they let you know that you must have spent at least a year here before I can be bribed to give out classified patient's information?'
'Uh.'
I was just asking out of curiosity, but I really should have thought that all the way through before opening my mouth.
'Heh, I'm just messing with you. Of course I can't answer that, why don't you just ask her yourself?'
I shrug uncomfortably, not having an easy answer to that question. With a final flourish, he enters whatever he's been typing up and turns to me.
'Tell you what, maybe I can give you a hand with that after all. Do you feel up to waiting a few more minutes? I need to take care of our waiting young lady first.'
Warily, I nod. I wonder where he's going with this, but I don't want to risk antagonizing him any further after all the dumb stuff I pulled today.
'OK. Then off you go, and let her in. I'll give you your note later, just wait outside.'
Nodding again, I get out of his way. One very brief exchange of words later, Aoyama has hobbled in and I'm sitting straight in the uncomfortable chair again.
***
*ZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRREEEEEEEEENKNKNKNK-NK-NK-NK-KKK*
WHAT IN THE DEEPEST FLAMING PIT OF HELL WAS THAT?
After several minutes of absolutely quiet waiting and getting slightly dozy, the loud whining noise coming out of the room scares me enough to make me jump in my chair.
Oh God, one of the two must have killed the other in there in some messy, horrible way that I don't want to think about. Either that, or something went badly, terribly wrong.
While I'm getting busy with the very important business of panicking, no more noises issue from the room. Everything is quiet again. Too quiet.
That's right, the room must be somewhat soundproof. You woudn't want people sitting here to hear your business during consultations. ...Then how come I STILL could hear that noise?
Are they unconscious? Did they kill each other? Okay enough with the killing, are they...
*crack*
Eep.
The report isn't half as loud as the previous noise, but it doesn't strike me as any less ominous. I'm considering the advantages of slipping away to my dorm and pretending I was never here.
Okay, calm down. Calm down, Hisao. This place is pretty much a hospital in disguise. There must be alarms and safeguards set up the wazoo, so there's no way this is anything serious since nothing went off.
So everything must be fine, and I'm getting scared over nothing. Right.
...Right.
I'm thinking of various undefined scenarios, united only by their being uniformly hideous.
Dithering, I notice I'm oscillating back and forth on my seat like a metronome. I take a long breath and hold myself still.
Then I stand up and walk towards the door, as quietly as I can.
The massive wooden door lets me hear no more sound through it than the wall. I strain my ears as the seconds tick by at crawling slow speed.
As I'm working up my determination to knock, the door swings open of its own accord.
The Nurse is revealed within its frame, supporting Aoyama by her arm. Both look a little perplexed at finding me standing there in front of them.
'Oh? Nakai, why are you waiting standing up? Not to keep yourself awake, I hope.'
I can only shake my head mutely. I notice that Aoyama no longer has the cast on her left leg, which looks thinner than the other one. She's also back to looking as white as a ghost. That, I understand completely.
'Good to see you're so full of energy then. Here's that note I promised you. Now then, Aoyama, Nakai here will escort you back to your dorm.'
''What?' NO!'
We managed a well-coordinated half-chorus there. The "no" was all hers, though.
'Whyever not? Nakai is a reliable enough guy, you know.'
'Because...' 'Because...'
We doublespoke again, and trailed off at the same moment. Embarrassed, I gesture at her to go first.
'That's not my point, Nurse. I wish to go by myself. I'm rid of that cast, and therefore I have recovered.'
'Not with that trick knee, young lady. Muscle wastage has left you weak as a kitten on that side, and you're not waltzing out of here unassisted, not on my watch at least. I can't leave my station just to accompany you, so I have asked Nakai for his help instead, and he kindly agreed.'
...I vaguely remember some personality of the second World War calling some other personality a "magnificent bastard".
Right now, I'm thinking that definition fits the Nurse to a T. He's even giving me a cocky grin from above Aoyama's head.
'Oh, fine. We're not going arm in arm though. I hope you have an alternative in mind.'
Hey! What's wrong with me uh... um... on second thoughts, nevermind. Carry on.
'As a matter of fact, I do. Hold on a minute.'
After making sure that Aoyama is stably leaning against the doorjamb, he disappears back in his room, where we hear him puttering about. We're left to stare at each other's face.
Damn this is embarrassing, I'm not even used to the way she looks yet. I feel my face coloring, no matter how hard I try to avoid it. Hey, her face is looking pink and normal again as well. Does that mean...
I think I just figured something out. It's not that she looks healthy now and then, it's her complexion that's just naturally that pale, and she looks more normal when she's blushing. Or doing her version of that, anyway.
Does that mean that while we were talking earlier she was embarrassed all the time, then?
My train of thought gets derailed by a slightly squeaky noise, approaching us.
'Tada! Problem solved.'
The Nurse reappears from within the room, holding a wheelchair in front of him and showing it off like it's a brand new, expensive sports car.
'You must be joking.'
I'm pleased that I managed to get out at least that one line in the comedy of this whole ridiculous affair.
'He's not. All right... there's no helping it, I suppose.'
Holding her hair out of the way to avoid sitting on it, Aoyama lowers herself as slowly and carefully as always in the wheelchair, before regarding me like a queen enthroned.
And she bows to me, as though I had just given her back her realm.
'Thank you very much for your support, Nakai-senpai. I'm really grateful.'
'Ah, it's nothing, really...'
The Nurse claps his hands, rescuing me from having to find a better response.
'Alright. Now, Aoyama, I want you to go straight to your room, no detours, no getting out of that wheelchair until you're there. As for you, Nakai, I expect the same, plus once you're done with that you go straight to YOUR room and get some of that rest we were talking about. Clear?'
We chorus in agreement, sounding much like elementary schoolers, but agreeing all the same. The Nurse is easygoing, but he makes you not want to try balking him when he's being serious.
***
'Turn left here.'
'Hmm... Aoyama, I know where the Junior dorms are.'
She is quiet for a moment.
'I suppose so. Sorry, Nakai-senpai.'
She doesn't really sound very sorry, but I'm willing to let it slide. I think we're both feeling a little nervous and unwilling to attract attention.
This whole "escort" thing is a little too intimate for my tastes. I wish that word had never been used to describe it. I guess it could be worse, though. For example, if I had to hold her by the arm all the way to the dorm, I'm sure I'd spontaneously combust with embarrassment as soon as we got outside.
The quad is pretty populated in the late afternoon. The sports clubs are out in force, and anybody who cares to enjoy the June weather is walking around and hanging out. So there's plenty of people who can notice us. Fortunately, a wheelchair being pushed along is not even worth a blink in Yamaku, and we only rank the occasional, cursory glance from passerbys.
'I have a favor to ask, Nakai-senpai.'
'Hmm? Well, sure, if it's something I can do...'
She's keeping her head bowed forward. With her hair held to her side and over her front like a shawl, I can nearly see the nape of her neck.
'Forgive me my discourtesy, but I'd like to get permission to stop addressing you formally, dropping the senpai after your name. It feels... weird.'
That's an odd request. I don't really care about such things, she's the formal and correct one. I also don't think this is truly about getting friendlier, what with her feeling 'weird' about it.
...Unless I make sure it is so.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I answer.
'Sure, I don't mind us being a little closer. After all, we are the two mysterious transfer students to this school, aren't we? It's only natural that we'd look out for each other.'
I deliver the line with a smile, and I'm rewarded by seeing her twisting around in her seat and looking at me with something that seems to be genuine surprise.
Her clear, crystal gaze softens, and she lets out a tiny giggle before answering.
'You're the only transfer student around here, Nakai. I told you, I was here before you.'
'True, but you're much more enigmatic than I am. And you can call me Hisao.'
'Fair enough. Thank you, Hisao.'
We keep looking at each other for a moment longer before she turns to face forward again. I'm very pleased to see that her faintly smiling face looked quite rosy.
***
'Go a little further, then turn right.'
The Junior female dorm looks really blah on the inside. Boring flat colors, functional-ugly fittings, generic modern prefab.
Good thing, since my being within forbidden land is distracting enough.
Well, maybe not FORBIDDEN, exactly. But surely a little scandalous. There's no avoiding people while pushing a wheelchair along a corridor, and when said people are younger girls exclusively... my presence is causing a lot of pointing and giggling, some of it halfway-politely concealed, most of it not so much.
Chiyo has not batted an eye. Either she is used to this kind of attention, or she's determined to ignore it. She has limited herself to giving me directions to get us to her room in the most efficient way possible.
Thank God, her room is mercifully on the ground floor. She's not heavy at all, but I wouldn't have wanted to try pushing her upstairs on a ramp. Idly I wonder if the Nurse had considered this as well when he stuck me with this job.
'HALT!'
...what now?
A girl is barring our way. She has a dark green armband over her right uniform sleeve, identifying her as a hall monitor. That's pretty rare in and of itself, I have hardly ever seen any of those in the main building or the Senior dorms, and even then, only during the busiest moments.
She's holding out her left hand in a "stop" gesture. Her right hand... isn't where it ought to be. Instead, she's holding against her side some sort of contraption that looks a bit like a pair of funny-looking spoons. I guess those work as a prosthetic replacement. But the most arresting thing in her demeanor is the scowl that she's directing at us, blacker than her eyes or her long straight hair.
Not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing wrong, I comply.
'Good afternoon, Shimada. Is there a problem?'
'Of course there is a problem, Aoyama. Who is this?'
'...I'm Nakai Hisao, from class 3-3. Hello. What's the matter, exactly?'
Oi, she's harsh. I don't much care for her tone, nor for the way she discounted my being here. My identifying myself as an upperclassman makes her pause, but only for a split second.
'Good afternoon, senpai. The problem is that you shouldn't be here. Regulations do not allow it.'
'Nonsense, Shimada. Those regulations aren't being enforced by anybody but yourself. Besides, he's here because the Nurse didn't have time and needed someone to accompany me back to my room. You can check with him if you like.' Feel free to bother him while he's busy over a trivial matter. I must have become better at reading between Chiyo's lines, because this one fairly leapt up at me.
Shimada makes a face, clearly considering the same thing herself.
'No, if you say so, of course not. This is irregular, but I'll overlook it this time.' I'll check later though, just to make sure. ...Maybe it's the hostility flowing in the words that makes it easy, or my senses are being sharpened by it. Either way, this one came through loud and clear too.
With a sniff, Shimada goes down the corridor behind us, not leaving so much as a goodbye in her wake. Or maybe 'stomps' would be more appropriate. She's not making any noise, but the feeling is clearly there.
'Sorry about that, Hisao. She's impossible. My room is on the next branch to the right.'
I resume pushing the wheelchair towards our final destination.
'Wow. What is HER problem?'
Chiyo is silent for a few moments, and I assume she's taking my rhetorical question for what it is. So, I'm a little surprised when she actually answers.
'I think Shimada is one of those persons that hate themselves.'
'...Pardon?'
'Those do exist, you know. In her case, I believe that she's not come to terms with her physical problems, and she's throwing the anger she feels at herself towards any target she can find.'
A light shrug.
'But I could be wrong. I've known her for less than two days, after all.'
The fact that she's willing to give such an assessment is eclipsed only by the fact that she has it available.
Chiyo has given me an impression of being a preternaturally precise and careful person. That unbelievable night meeting with Sirius is still fresh in my mind. Her disclaimer notwithstanding, I'm not willing to discard her views as idle talk.
...Even though I have known her for less than two days, after all. I smile, up above her head where she can't see me.
'This is it. Thank you, Hisao. I'll be fine now.'
As soon as I stop, she begins to lift herself from the chair, after making sure that her balance is perfect.
'Are you sure? It'd be no trouble to help you further.'
The look she directs towards me is of the ice-and-glass variety I have seen so much.
She's holding in her hand the key to her room's door.
The key to her room's door.
...Her room's door.
Oh. Whoops.
'Goodbye, Hisao.'
'Yes'm. Bye.'
I beat a hasty retreat.
***
I take a minute to stretch out.
It's already getting dark, but there's still a surprising amount of students walking around outside.
I'm bored of resting in my room, so I'd like to take a walk outside.
I promised the Nurse I'd take it easy though. So I shed my clothes and go to bed instead.
...Could I see Sirius from my window, I wonder?
Turning around in my sheets with a chuckle on my lips, I try to will myself to sleep.
After all that doing nothing, it's not so simple.
I can...
...
-SC
Last edited by Silentcook on Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:31 am, edited 4 times in total.
Shattering your dreams since '94. I also fought COVID in '20 and '21, and all I got was this lousy forum sig.
I wake up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock and immediately notice a tense atmosphere about the dorm.
It's quiet. Too quiet.
I slink out of bed. Taking a glance out of the window, I see that everyone else is already up and eagerly watching everything being set up for the festival.
Although I'm not nearly excited about it as everyone else, I have to admit I want to see what all the fuss is about.
Back home, I didn't really go to any festivals. But my interest has been piqued by how much everyone in this school seems to look forward to it, even the teachers.
...And possibly, by the simple fact that in the middle of a large celebration, the one thing that never lacks is company.
My morning medication is waiting on the night table, stored neatly in small bottles and boxes.
Getting ready for class as quickly as I can, I realize that for the first time during this week, I'm the last guy out of the dorms. It's an alien, slightly surreal feeling.
***
Scanning the cafeteria crowd, I look for a friendly face, or at least a known one. Who said that food always tastes better when eating together with someone? I don't remember, but I'm fairly sure at least that eating the food here alone makes it taste like ash and cardboard. And that's when you're lucky.
My efforts get rewarded quickly. Hard to miss her, really, even in a crowd. Like a banner in a speckled mass of rags, all that green hair at low-to-middling height could belong only to Chiyo.
...I actually feel a little ambivalent about going to sit with her, though. I mean, we met just yesterday. Again. She'll think I'm following her around, or something. Shit, if I go sit with her I will be following her around, for real.
...Ash and cardboard.
Right. One table spot next to a green-haired girl, coming up. I'll take my chances with my developing stalker rep.
'Hello, Chiyo. Mind if I sit here?'
I'm ready for her searching stare this time, so I just return it amiably when she looks up from her food. I think I see it thawing a bit as recognition sets in, and she politely nods at me.
'Hisao. Sure, go ahead. I don't mind.'
Shifting the chair opposite her with my foot as I set down my tray, I do just that, and sigh in relief.
The other two seats at the table are unoccupied, leaving us a nice amount of elbow room. Well, not entirely unoccupied... the one next to her has a crutch leaning against it. Doesn't take a genius to figure out who it belongs to.
'Thanks. How was your day?'
Easy, safe smalltalk. While I wait for an answer, I start digging into my food.
She pats her already-clean mouth with a white paper napkin, making me think of a fastidious cat, as she shrugs lightly.
'Decent, I suppose. Morning classes weren't too bad.'
I let out a noncommittal grunt before swallowing.
'I am dreading the afternoon lessons though.'
Huh? This from the girl that went through a battery of tests just yesterday, and didn't seem fazed by it?
'You have afternoon lessons? On a Saturday?'
'Especially so, unfortunately.'
'That's a surprise. I expected you not to have any bad subjects at all.'
'You give me too much credit. Believe me, there are things I'm just not good at.'
I have to wonder what those might be. Advanced physics? Obscure foreign languages?
'I'll take your word for it. Is your leg doing all right?'
'Well enough, thank you. Convincing it to work again like it should is a pain, but not literally so.'
'That really sucks. ...Well, I suppose breaking a leg and having to wear a cast must have sucked even more in the first place, but you get what I mean.'
She makes a face. 'Indeed I do.'
Easy, but maybe not so safe after all. While I'm casting for a different topic in my mind, I'm rescued from having to come up with it by an intrusion.
'Excuse me. Hisao, might I speak with you for a minute?'
The tall figure of Lilly looms over both of us from the position she has taken by my side. I chew quickly what I had stuffed in my mouth as a delaying tactic and down it with a gulp of water to answer her.
'Ahem. Sure, Lilly. What's up?'
For a brief moment, I envy her composure. I could use some of that myself, but I hardly ever seem to manage it.
'I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just wanted to thank you for all the help you have given me and Hanako over the last few days.'
Her serene smile and relaxed demeanor are infectious, and I find myself smiling right back at her.
'No problem. I didn't do much, really.'
'You're selling yourself short. ...But I'm being rude. Would you introduce us?'
'Hello, Satou-senpai.'
Chiyo's quiet response stops the conversation for a second. I'm surprised by seeing a tiny line form between Lilly's brows, before she returns to normal.
'...Hello, Aoyama. I'm sorry for not having recognized you immediately. There really is no need for you to call me that...'
'Ah, but there is. You are one of my upperclassmates, after all.'
'You two know each other?'
Both the girls nod, but Chiyo is the one that hastens to continue the conversation.
'That's right, we know each other from before my leave of absence. Told you I was here before you did, Hisao. Would you like to sit with us, senpai?'
'Ah, no thank you. I'm done with what I wanted to say, and I need to get back to the festival preparations anyway. Until next time then.'
Lilly takes a bow, matched by Chiyo as best she can, and wanders off briskly. I'm late at bowing in turn, and late marveling at how easily Lilly can get around in the bustle of the cafeteria, despite her problems.
Shrugging, I resume shoveling my food into my mouth. I feel there was something off in this episode, but I'm not eager to pursue it and get into an awkward mood again.
Chiyo seems to be finished eating, but instead of making more conversation or taking her leave, she's sitting there with her chin on her hand and a complicated expression on her face.
'She was going to ask you out to the festival, you know.'
*KOFF*
I thought I had gotten the hang of Chiyo's apparent nonsequiturs, but hearing this one after a few minutes of silence sent food down the wrong pipe.
'Excuse me?'
'She was going to ask you to hang out at the festival. I'm sorry.'
'...How the heck can you say this, why do you think so since it didn't happen, and how does you being sorry figure in any of that?!'
Chiyo's expression falls further into a mix of disappointment and annoyance.
'You do sell yourself short, but you are also not very observant. You helped her and Ikezawa by working on something festival-related, didn't you?'
I nod while I finish clearing up the last stray bits of food from my throat.
'So she was grateful to you for that, and planned to ask you out for the festival as thanks so that you'd also get to see the result of your efforts together.'
'That... could make some sense, I suppose. Only she didn't, so that's pretty conclusive proof you got it wrong this time.'
Chiyo unhappily looks aside at that, turning slightly pink.
'She would have if I had not been here. And that's why I'm sorry. I spoiled the chance for you, even though I didn't do it on purpose.'
'Nonononono, back up a little. Why would she change her mind because of... uh... you?'
She turns back to face me, arching an eyebrow in real vexation this time.
'Hisao, you REALLY think yesterday's little episode in my dorm didn't make the rounds of the school? Don't force me to think you're dense.'
Errr. I was really trying not to dwell on yesterday's embarrassment, but it looks like I'm not going to get a choice.
'You pushed me along in a wheelchair past a gaggle of giggling younger girls for several minutes, so don't make like it wasn't noticeable, because it was. The gossip mill will have turned that into any amount of wild rumors, and I wouldn't be surprised if Satou came by specially to check for herself. And since I was here, she came to the obvious conclusion and backed off.'
She pushes off her chair and stands, retrieving her crutch from the other one.
'Rumors don't bother me, but getting in your way does. Satou is awfully classy... anyway, I have to go now. Goodbye.'
And while I'm sitting there dumbstruck with my brain short-circuited by her blunt speech, she hobbles off and away into the thinning lunch crowd.
Recovering after a couple of seconds, I want to go after her and say something, but I restrain myself. I've clearly done way too much reacting and not enough thinking lately, and it's a very bad trend I need to break.
Besides, she has to go deal with her classes. I'll try and assemble a plan during that interval to avoid going off half-cocked this once.
Very belatedly, I notice that lunch didn't taste disgusting this time around. I'm not too sure if I want this kind of distraction every time, though.
***
'Hey there.'
'Stalking is a crime.'
'Whoa, cold. I hoped to take you by surprise, at least a little, by waiting for you out here.'
I had figured Chiyo as one of the "go straight back home" club members, but it seems I misjudged things. The hour for weekday homeroom has come and gone while I was waiting for her, and still more time has passed to boot.
The beams of the setting sun are painting the front of the female Junior dorms into a mellow shade of orange. They do less flattering things to Chiyo's hair, but I'm not going to mention that to her.
'What do you want?'
'I'm here to cash in a favor.'
'I'm not aware that you have any favors you can cash in with me.'
'Don't take me too literally. And didn't you feel sorry for me earlier?'
'Maybe I shouldn't have, considering the results.'
'Maybe you shouldn't have, but it's a bit late to think that now. In a bad mood, aren't we?'
She sighs, and her defiant attitude deflates a little bit.
'Afternoon lessons weren't enjoyable. It's not really your fault. Shouldn't take it out on you. Sorry.'
'Don't worry about it. Figured it might be something like that, from the way you talked about them earlier.'
'So what is this favor you are looking for?'
I mentally cross my fingers, and hope to keep sounding as casual as I rehearsed.
'You have any plans for the festival tomorrow?'
That stopped her cold. I can see wheels turning behind those red eyes. I want to press further, but stick to my plan instead and let her decide for herself.
'...Not really, but I don't fancy getting a pity date either.'
'Odd that you should think that, since you figured out I should have gotten one for myself at lunch.'
'Satou is a genuinely kind person. She wouldn't do that.'
'So I'm not, and I would.'
'Don't put words in my mouth, Hisao.'
'As long as you don't decide my intent for me, Chiyo.'
'Don't you know how to take "no" for an answer?'
'I would if you answered that. Which you haven't, yet.'
A pout. Holy Hell, this is the one weapon I couldn't make a backup plan for. Have to soldier on and hope for the best.
'Hisao, you're being unreasonable.'
'I don't think so. I'm learning from a very good partner, though.'
We're attracting a few odd looks from the girls wandering into and out of the dorm's main entrance, close to where I'm leaning against the wall. I feel uneasy about that, but I'm hoping it will work more to my advantage than to my detriment.
'I'm too short to pull off classy. You should go ask Satou.'
'I am not expecting you to do that, and I'm asking you.'
And I can't believe I'm really going through with this either.
'This is a bad idea.'
'Most of my ideas seem to be bad lately, but I believe I thought this one through. Listen, Chiyo, I don't want to bother you, but I'm not taking any excuses either. If you don't want to spend time with me tomorrow, that's okay. I'd really like you to, but the decision is yours to make.'
Now to see if I have read her reactions and figured out what she was thinking during lunch correctly.
She looks as if a fire had been lighted within her, judging by the intensity of her gaze, the inner glow of her skin, and the combative pose she has taken up. The crutch only slightly detracts from it.
'...alright.'
I feel like gloating.
'I'm not dressing up or anything. I am not settled in yet, so I can't get things ready in so little time.'
'That's perfectly fine with me.'
'Wipe that stupid grin off your face.'
'I'm not grinning.'
'Like Hell you aren't. We meet at 8 PM in front of the deaf class' takoyaki stall.'
'Okay, but why so late?'
'I have my reasons. And if you don't like this answer, we can call this off here and now, since you're probably going to hear it a lot tomorrow night.'
I raise my arms in surrender. Knowing how to quit while one is ahead is a vital survival skill.
'Alright, alright. I'll keep it in mind.'
'Do. Now, if you would be so kind as to let me go, I have business to attend to.'
'Sure.'
I step away from the dorm doors, removing the figurative barrier I was putting in her path.
As soon as I do, she hobbles in, only throwing me a glance over her shoulder before disappearing. I'm not sure whether she looked angry or resigned as she did.
No point in thinking too much about that now. I had better get a move on myself, she's not the only one who has urgent business to deal with.
***
Finally I'm done. The interval I spent waiting for Chiyo outside her dorm bit deep into my usual study time, so I had to make up for that by staying up doing homework that much later than usual.
I collapse on my bed, and feel the fatigue wash over me like a wave.
I barely manage to shed my clothes and crawl under the sheets before I fall asleep.
-SC
Shattering your dreams since '94. I also fought COVID in '20 and '21, and all I got was this lousy forum sig.
I may be way off base here, (I'm not a particularly experienced writer.) but in the latter two scenes I feel like Chiyo and Hisao are adopting each other's speech patterns at a rapid clip. Sometimes even Hisao's thoughs read like Chiyo speaks. It's getting more and more difficult for me to separate their voices via context only.
Then again, in this latest scene Hisao is actively trying to get into Chiyo's head, so maybe it's intentional?
I like it, but I think that Hisao's characterization is a bit off in the third installment. He seems overly cautious in the first two, but in the third he's forward to the point of ignoring social cues.
But what do I know?
Anyway, I enjoy the stories and I wanna know more. "I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter," and all that rot.
The light flooding in past my too-thin curtains is just too bright to ignore.
I lay on my back in bed, blinking and peering at the nondescript ceiling, whose monotony is being broken by the reflections of the sun's rays.
What time is it, anyway...
Turning my head to the side, I catch sight of the alarm clock. I register the numbers dimly glowing on its face as saying it's close to midday, but it's the day shown on it that yanks me out of my doze with a vengeance. Sunday.
Everything I did yesterday comes rushing back in.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Someone, anyone, tell me I did not do that.
Groaning, I grab my pillow and press it over my face. I want to turtle up, go back to sleep, and pretend nothing ever happened. I did that quite a bit when I was a kid.
Not that it ever did any real good.
I still can't believe I went and asked Chiyo that way. Hounded her, even. What the Hell was I thinking?
...I was thinking that she was being silly, and I was angry, that's what.
I remember replaying our conversation at lunch in my mind, how she got herself out of the way, her assuming that she was not as good as Lilly for some reason.
Me getting pissed off.
I recall waiting for her outside her dorm, growing more determined by the minute. Turning my irritation into scorn for anything that was not my purpose.
Making plans for what I thought she could say, running through things over and over.
And finally badgering her into going to the festival together today.
The pillow gets swiftly thrown away into the wall, hitting with an unsatisfactory "foomp".
So dammit, yes, I did that. And I had better get into the right mindset, real quick.
Because I DID think things out, and now I have to follow through. For myself, and for Chiyo.
Bathroom first. Then I'll sort myself out.
***
Brushing one's teeth isn't a particularly thought-intensive activity, which suits me fine; while my body goes through the motions of scrubbing my toothbrush around my mouth, my mind unfuzzes from the night's sleep.
I'll have to apologize to Chiyo, first thing when I see her. But how do I do that without looking like I'm going back on my intentions?
I'm sorry for having been that insistent, but I do want to enjoy the festival with her. Hmmm.
On the one hand, she is sharp. Really sharp. I'm sure she'll see right through anything halfhearted.
On the other... I still can't figure out how she could have such a blind spot for herself.
I rinse and spit in the sink, as though trying to get the bad taste of the idea from my mouth.
So she might not be as classy as Lilly. So what.
She's a good girl, an amazing one, even, on her own. Even if she wasn't as smart as she is, mean people don't retreat in good order because they think they might be inconveniencing their friends.
I frown at the mirror. I'm finding a good point even in the thing that made me mad before. As if things weren't confusing enough already.
Within my first week at Yamaku, I have managed to get friendly with more girls than in the last three years or so, to the point that I'm needing to be careful how I manage my friendships.
Have a heart attack, become popular with the ladies. You'll never want for companionship again!
...Okay, that was just idiotic, no matter how I slice it. But it's true that it sort of had that effect on me.
Scratching my head, I collect my toiletries and walk back to the bathroom door.
***
Back in my room, I finish knotting up my school tie. I have quite a bit of time to kill until this evening, but first order of business is getting something to eat, and I had better get a move on for that. Having skipped dinner except for a few snacks and slept through breakfast has left me ravenous.
I check my wallet, finding I have enough finances to carry me through the day. Barely, I think. I have to figure in eating out now and again later with Chiyo, plus a reasonable buffer to spend on... whatever one spends money on at festivals.
Games? Sweets? Souvenirs, maybe? I'm completely unprepared on the subject, and glad that I have a chance to recon before the real thing comes rolling in tonight.
One last check in front of the mirror, then I'm out of my room, locking the door carefully.
'Psst! Hisao, dude! You have to help me!'
...And foully ambushed from the rear, my plans brought screeching to a halt. Damn you, Kenji. I turn around slowly, with a calm that I do not feel at all.
'Hi, Kenji. What is it this time?'
He sounds more manic than his usual, which isn't easy. Peering out of his door that he has opened a crack, he makes me think of a scared hermit crab. Considering how much time he seems to spend in his room, the idea fits him all too well.
'They want to starve me out! You gotta help your buddy, buddy. Or you'll have me on your conscience. Burden on your soul, that sort of stuff. You do have at least one of those, don't you?'
'...What are you talking about. Who are "they"—'
Bad move. I bite my tongue, but it's too late.
'The damn local branch of the conspiracy, that's who! They craftily carted in all these strangers and made this racket in order to muddy the waters, confound the tracks and erase any evidence of my disappearance! Shit, how sickening.'
'You're here in front of me.'
'Don't be a smartass, nobody likes a smartass. Obviously I'm in front of you, you're the only one I can trust now, pal. I need you to furnish me with provisions.'
'Kenji, you're taking the school festival for... something else. I think. Nobody is after you. There's going to be food available everywhere outside, you just have to go out and buy some.'
'And where does all that food come from?'
'I don't have the faintest idea. The ingredients are brought in from outside the school, I suppose?'
'There you have it.'
'What.'
'Think, man, think! That stuff could come from anywhere, be doctored with anything! It's not safe!'
Rubbing my eyes, I sigh and give it up as a bad job. 'Okay, fine. So what would you want me to do?'
'You gotta grab me some food from somewhere I can trust. None of the crap from the school, you'll have to get me packaged stuff from a supermarket in town or something.'
'You're... not kidding.'
'Well duh, of course I'm not. Hang on, I'll give you a list.'
The door closes with the snap of numerous locks, and I'm left to stare at it. Don't I get a choice in this? Apparently not, since Kenji conveniently assumed I agreed with his daft plan. Which I did, sort of, I guess.
A few minutes later, when I'm thinking of either knocking or sneaking away quietly, I'm not honestly sure which, a slip of paper is slid out from under the door. Written in Kenji's large, loopy, semilegible handwriting, it's sure enough a list of food items. More than enough to feed one person for one week, I'd estimate.
The Hell with this. I bang on the door, hard.
After a moment, a couple of bills are grudgingly slid under it.
That's more like it. I console myself by thinking that I was looking for a way to pass some time anyway. While running Kenji's errand for him is surely a bother, it won't take too much of my precious free time, I hope.
I make haste to get away before anything else gets between me and my lunch.
***
Well, this is it. I took my sweet time doing Kenji's chore, having something to eat first. Maybe it was just my hunger, but that homemade stuff from the second-year deaf class' stand was incredibly tasty. Then again, after the cafeteria food day in and day out, probably any honest meal would have qualified.
One leisurely round trip later, I delivered his groceries. Or at least I hope so, in the end I knocked and left them in front of his door after one look at the professional-looking, black-on-yellow "DANGER - CLEANING CHEMICALS SUPPLY" sign it sported.
If he wants his change, he'll just have to come find me later. For the moment, I'll supplement my meager finances with it. As Shizune would say, "everybody wins".
I'm feeling pretty smug about having eaten lunch at the place where Chiyo and I are supposed to meet, so as to be able to return to it quickly later. I'd surely have had some trouble finding the right spot now that the evening has subtly changed how the school grounds look, on top of all the stalls and attractions filling up the ordinarily empty space. Planning does pay off.
I hope planning will pay off during our outing, too. I hate to think that all the restraint I showed today by not playing any of the games I checked out during my recon might have been wasted. It's really incredible how many different ways to have fun can be fitted into ordinary booths with a little ingenuity.
Or maybe it's just because this sort of thing is new to me, jaded city boy that I am. Was. The thought makes me chuckle a little.
Once again I check my watch. Nearly eight o' clock. I wonder why she insisted on us meeting so late?
The festival shows no signs of slowing down yet, even though night-time is creeping in. The only thing that did was to cause an amazing number of luminaries to appear. From paper lanterns to neon garlands to candles, searchlights, and anything inbetween. The maelstrom of colors, noise and activity is a little overwhelming.
After those months surrounded by white walls and silence, being in the middle of a mass of people makes my head pound unpleasantly. To think that I used to walk through something like this when commuting for school, twice daily, without batting an eye.
But even through the discomfort, I feel better surrounded by moving, chattering bodies than alone in my room. The impression of warmth is worth more to me than the minor annoyance I have to bear. And after a little while, my head doesn't bother me at all anymore.
I have to admit the nurse had it right. Isolation is a bad beast to face.
Even wrapped in my armor of keeping busy, I have been longing for human contact. Hungering for it when I'm not actually in company of my classmates, looking for something to poke my nose into. Trying to belong.
...Not trying to belong to just ANYthing, thank you; I like to think I have retained some standards. But still.
Lost in contemplation, I don't even notice the slightly dragging sound of steps coming up behind me.
'Good evening, Hisao.'
'Ah, Chiyo, good-'
...
She looks normal. No, I mean she's looking better than that. No, I don't mean that either. ...I think I'm being suddenly subjected to makeup shock treatment. I assume Chiyo doesn't bother with it for school, since it must be a hassle for her, considering her complexion.
I have no idea whatsoever of what she put on to do this, but her eyes have been highlighted so that they're fairly glowing out of her face, which itself sports a delicate-looking blush.
Chiyo cocks her head to the side, looking a little puzzled.
I thought I knew how her hair was. Uncommonly long, flowing, wavy, and green.
That's a bit like saying that Mount Fuji is a tallish pile of rock with some snow on top though, compared to what I'm seeing.
Before her hair just, well, hung there as I expected long hair to do. Now, it almost dwarfs Chiyo's figure, having gained volume from some hidden dimension I can't discern. Words like "viridian waterfall" or "emerald canopy" come unbidden to my mind to get discarded, and I'm sorry that I don't know how to better describe whatever she did.
'Hisao?'
It's not like she dressed up. She said she wouldn't, and it's true, she didn't. She's in her uniform.
But the pleats of her skirt are so razor-sharp that it looks like I could cut my finger on them, and the white of the blouse is almost luminous in the half-light.
She has taken the time to pick out a tiny shoulderbag. A little affair that seems to be made out of candycane, and declares in no uncertain terms that yes sir, her owner is very much officially Going Out tonight, not shuffling to any old lesson.
She brings her hand to her cheek, closing her eyes and sighing a little wearily.
'Oh dear. It's flattering, I suppose, but you should really close your mouth at least.'
Her words jolt me back into gear, and I manage to stop gaping without audibly snapping my jaws. Small praise for my so-called careful plans, but it'll have to make do.
'Um. Good evening. You look... really nice.'
Understatement of the year. She was pretty if unusual before. Tonight, she is nothing short of spectacular, in a doll-like way.
And she was worried about not being able to pull off classy. Holy crap.
'Thank you. Where are we going?'
Straight to business, as usual. But I have a good answer this time.
'Well, I thought I'd treat you to dinner, then take it from there. Are you hungry?'
A small nod. 'Yes. Alright then, let's check out your choice.'
I almost take her by the arm, remember that she doesn't like to be touched, freeze in mid-act then try to cover it by walking nonchalantly only to realize that she still can't move easily and freeze again half a step ahead of her, feeling as spastic as I must surely have looked.
Chiyo thankfully decides not to make an issue of this sorry spectacle, and only blinks once before getting into slow stride.
***
'...Is there something wrong, Hisao?'
'Eh? No.'
Yes.
'It's nothing. Don't worry about it.'
I'm quite definitely missing something.
'You're not very convincing.'
'Why do you have to be so damn good at seeing through people... alright, there's SOMETHING at the back of my mind, but I can't place my finger on what, and it's nagging at me. Sorry if I looked distracted or whatever, I couldn't help it.'
'Hm. Okay.'
Chiyo returns to methodically eating her dinner, and I return to gazing at her, chin propped on my palm. She doesn't seem to mind, like she didn't seem to mind people's stares before. I imagine she must be very used to be stared at, what with her unusual hair color - and that just for starters.
The way she consumes her food is kinda cute. She reminds me of a cat, sniffing cautiously at everything and sampling carefully before digging in. She's definitely not lacking in appetite, as the empty plates in front of her attest, but this odd little quirk slows her down enough that I finished all of mine with time to spare, and now I'm left with nothing to do but wait.
I need to say something. The atmosphere feels strained, completely unlike how I wanted things to be, and certainly not like an enjoyable night out should feel. We have barely spoken so far.
I didn't manage to say what I wanted first thing when we met, halfstunned as I was, and have wasted all this time trying to rebuild my confidence, without really succeeding in regaining it.
But if I keep stalling, the whole evening's going to waste away.
'Umm, Chiyo?'
'Yes?'
'I pushed you pretty hard about coming to the festival. ...Probably harder than what was polite. Sorry about that.'
She looks right into my eyes with a slightly puzzled expression before going 'Hmmm~' around her chopsticks and raising her gaze skyward.
'That's right, you did.'
Ouch.
'And I think I have every right to be a little angry at you.'
Crap.
'...but for some reason, I can't seem to manage that. At all.'
Huh?
'So let's say nothing more about it, and you worry about pissing me off by being a crappy date instead. Deal?'
She points her chopsticks straight at me and behind them there's a pouty, flat-eyed expression, like a little girl that's reproaching her parents for not keeping their promise. I can't hold in a chuckle, and raise my hands placatingly.
'Deal, partner.'
'Oh, so you remember how to smile. I thought your face had frozen that way, or something.'
'Yeah, sorry about that too. I... guess I was overthinking things a bit.'
'Well then, don't. It's a festival, let's just have some fun. Serious stuff can wait until tomorrow. This is really tasty, by the way, even though it's a little bit too hot.'
She echoes my smile with a small one of her own, and soon we are chatting about little things, the atmosphere between us thawing quickly.
***
I'm enjoying myself. Somehow, it has all fallen together and started working like a charm. After dinner, we began our tour of the grounds, following the itinerary I had made up in my mind earlier.
I had thought to avoid nearly all the more physically-oriented attractions, regretting every missed opportunity but not wanting to make Chiyo feel left out, since she can't move very well with her crutch. It took all of ten minutes for that idea to get happily derailed.
She would have none of it, pointing out stuff that seemed fun and egging me on to try it out. "It's just as fun to watch", to quote her own words. So to compromise, I started trying out some of the milder games, and in no time at all I had my personal fan cheering and giggling at me from the sidelines.
Doesn't hurt that it's such a cute fan, either. I feel a little better about my earlier brain disconnection, now that I get to see the effect she can have on bystanders.
Obviously we gave the dance floor a pass, but only after pausing there for awhile. The wistful expression that Chiyo was wearing makes me think she really likes dancing; it would make her injury that much more bothersome.
I really want to take her mind off her worries, so I'll drag her to the goldfish scooping booth. I assume she'll be enthusiastic to finally do something, and incidentally destroy me completely, since I don't know the first thing about how to play. But what can one do; the duties of a gentleman are clear...
Like a bolt from the blue, it hits me.
Aw, crap. MY PILLS. THAT'S what was bothering me.
This morning I woke late, hurried out, and completely forgot to take my medication. Smooth.
So much for me being careful - I even had a chance to recover from my mistake when I went back to my room to drop off Kenji's food, but I was focusing too much on tonight and couldn't see the forest for the trees.
My mood switches immediately from relaxation to high alert - I try to remember the contingency plans that I'm supposed to use in such a case, and run through them a little nervously.
This stuff is no joke, but it's not yet life-threatening either. I just need to keep calm, go take my pills, and pay more attention.
If I do it right, it won't even disrupt our evening. Yeah, nothing to it. I take a moment to compose myself then casually turn towards Chiyo, as though a minor detail just came to my attention.
'Ah dang, now I remember what was bugging me. I need to pick up something at my room. I'm sorry, it'll only take me a minute and I'll be right back. You don't mind, right?'
'Don't be silly. Of course I mind.'
'Thank you, I'll make this qui-uhh, what?'
'I said, yes I do mind. What do you think you're doing, leaving your date alone? I'll let it slide this time since you must have thought it would be a better alternative than making me walk on this leg, but that's not happening. Let's go.'
'Uh...'
She sighs, looking exasperated, and takes the kind of tone normally used with young children and slow people.
'I'm fine. Let's go to your room. You need to go there, don't you? You said it'd take just a minute, so it'll take just a little longer with us going together instead. Then we can rejoin the festival.'
'But last time...'
'Oh, don't be a baby. The festival's still ongoing, there'll be people coming and going everywhere. We won't stand out, so it's unlikely that we will even be noticed this time.'
'That's true, I guess. But still...'
Chiyo's eyes flash dangerously. I thought I had gotten used to them, but it's still a somewhat unsettling spectacle.
'Hisao, if you keep this up you're going to make me think that you are trying to ditch me. Am I making myself clear?'
'Yes'm.'
Game, set and match. I'm not getting out of this one.
***
'Man, they really stuck you in the worst possible spot. Alone in an empty hallway I could understand, but putting you in front of the closet too? You should complain to whoever deals with room assignment.'
'That's n—tell you what, you're right, I'll remember to do that later.'
Easier not to mention Kenji at all. I truly think I don't want Chiyo to meet him, ever. If that happened, there might be some kind of critical mass reaction.
I fumble my key into the door lock, wishing things had gone differently. It's not that this bump in our night out is anything too big, and I'm not afraid of being caught in company of Chiyo - she was right, with all the comings and goings nobody is paying any attention to us. She's also being a good sport about this, no longer showing any irritation.
No, the thing that is worrying me is her being so close to my room, and by extension, to the pill bottles I keep on the night table.
I remember when our situation was reversed, and I accompanied her to her room. Well since she didn't look kindly on the invasion of her privacy then, she will be discreet now that it's my turn. I hope.
The lock opens with a click, and I hesitate before opening the door. I turn towards Chiyo, mutely appealing to her. She is wearing a neutral expression while leaning on her crutch and looking around.
'I'll be right back.'
'Sure.'
I quickly nip into my room, opening the door just the amount needed for me to pass through and shutting it behind me.
Phew. My heart is beating slightly faster, but out of nervousness more than anything else. I flick the light switch and go for the traitorous pills.
The stupid things are lined up on my night table, just as always. I steady myself. Careful, Hisao. Don't fuck this up.
With painstaking care, I measure out the correct amount of tablets, capsules and other stuff.
I know the amounts by heart, but just in case and considering my track record today, I still doublecheck, and triplecheck while reading the prescription copy. It all matches up. Okay.
I start by dry-swallowing the easier ones, then grab the water bottle to help the drier ones go down one by one. Throwing my head back, I gulp mouthfuls of liquid time and again.
The last one is a particularly large and bothersome specimen. Despite the water, it feels like a burr stuck halfway down my throat. Eyes slightly watering, I empty the dregs of the bottle into my mouth to force it down.
And I choke.
I start to hack and cough, keeping a hand in front of my mouth. I want the water out of my lungs, but I don't want to spit it out? Stupid. Make up your mind.
I can't see. I can't breathe. My eyes are burning. 'Hisao?'
An especially loud spasm makes me bend over, and I support myself by gripping the edge of the table. A little better.
My chest feels constricted - dammit, can't something else be wrong with me just once? I can get air in fine, but heavy stuff sloshes along with it. 'Hisao, is everything OK?'
Chiyo?
I need more breath to speak, to tell her that everything's all right. Give me just a minute, it's nothing, really.
No way to get enough breath. I can only hold on for dear life. 'Hisao, answer me right now!'
No, don't come in. Nothing's wrong. Don't come in. *BANG!*
Shit.
It seems to me that the echo of the door slamming open hasn't even died yet, but I feel a small hand gripping me by the shoulder already.
'Hisao, what's wrong? Do you need the nurse?'
I shake my head and wave my free hand, still sounding more like an emptying sink than a person. After a beat, I get helped - shoved, really - into my chair.
When I wipe my eyes and my vision finally clears, I'm treated to a closeup of Chiyo's face. She's staring at me very intensely, and more than a little worriedly.
I become extremely conscious of her hand, still resting on my shoulder, of the sound of her breath, and of her closeness. For one moment, I feel the same thing that passed between us when I first looked into her eyes.
Then I think that we're in my room, and it all cracks and tumbles down. As if on cue, she pulls back.
'Don't scare me like that.'
I mumble a "sorry", but I can't even look at her directly. I'm all too aware of what my room looks like, of all my medicines in plain view, and of how everything is exactly wrong. Chiyo shuffles a couple more steps back, looking awkward herself.
'...I'll, hm, let myself out before someone notices. Take your time.'
I nod, keeping my gaze firmly fixed on the patch of floor where her feet and the tip of her crutch are resting.
And I see those feet turn around and shuffle away. The door makes a slight scraping sound as it gets almost closed, but not quite.
'Aah...'
The turmoil I am feeling inside has nothing to do with my condition.
I wish so much that this hadn't happened, yet at the same time I'm unbearably glad.
Touching the spot on my shoulder where Chiyo's hand rested only a few moments ago, I heave a deep sigh.
Touching. I missed that terribly, during my stay in the hospital. I never had too much of it in the first place, even when nobody knew there was anything wrong with me.
I went through my life by being a face and a pair of hands to others. You don't need more than that to deal with people for most of the time. The face to be recognized by, talk and show emotion with; the hands to pass things, hold things, write stuff. Maybe an occasional handshake.
Strangers don't even want you to use more than that. If you do, you're overfamiliar, creepy, or threatening.
But I am more than a face and a pair of hands! I have lungs which bellow and burn after I run. I have a back that bends and lifts and does amazing things. I have a heart that still beats despite everything. I have legs, and they do more than carry me along, they kick, they jump, they skip - why do you want to pretend that I do not, that we all do not!
If only I could have said something like this to Chiyo before. I don't know if I would even have made sense, but I'm sure it's pointless now.
She has seen the inside of my room: nobody's room. A slate as blank and flat as the person who lives inside.
And she has seen my pills. She's anything but stupid, and she's been at Yamaku for a while. Surely she'll know what they're for. Everything that's wrong with me, on display in a single neat package.
Hell, she doesn't like being touched in the first place. If I ever had a chance of really becoming friends... let's be honest, a little more than friends with her, it's gone out of the window.
I just sit there, feeling sorry for myself. It takes a while for me to stand up again.
Ah well, it's pointless to dwell on this too. Up and at 'em, Hisao. Make good use of the time you have left, and don't let the lady down. Not any more than you have already... that is.
I tidy up an overturned capsule bottle before going out of the door.
***
We silently exit the Senior dorms, side by side. Between my detour and the unforeseen complications that resulted, quite a bit of time has passed. Enough to wreck any possibility of resuming my stupid tour plan, in any case.
I take a long breath of the cooling night air, attempting to think what to do now. I don't rate my chances at improvisation highly, considering how it all turned out in the end, but I'll have to try.
I take a peek at Chiyo, who is patiently standing by my side, seemingly content to do so. She has not said anything after I emerged from my room, quietly following me out of the hallway and downstairs.
'So that's how it is.'
Huh? I might have expected such a comment to come from Chiyo, but the voice that made it is not hers. Confusedly, I look around for its source.
I find it in a dark-haired girl wearing Yamaku uniform that's glaring at us. She looks vaguely familiar, but I'm sure she's not from my floor. Where did I see her before?
'Yes, that's how it is.'
I get my second surprise in a handful of seconds when Chiyo answers, grabbing my arm possessively with hers. My confusion doubled, I look at her in amazement, only to find her scowling back at the unknown girl just as fiercely.
What the... oh damn, NOW I remember. Whatsername, that psycho hall monitor from Chiyo's dorm. Swell.
I just needed a confrontation between these two to top off the night. I don't get what this is about, but I doubt they need much of an excuse to tear into each other. They didn't seem to be on friendly terms, to put it mildly.
I'm thinking of saying something to try and defuse the tension that I feel crackling between the two of them, but when I open my mouth I get a gentle squeeze on my arm. Chiyo has not budged an inch, but the intent is clear. My momentum broken, I end up making an inarticulate coughing noise before shutting up for good.
The tension lasts for a long instant more, then is broken when the other girl's expression shutters. The enmity she was showing is wiped away completely, to be replaced by a careful blankness. It's the kind of gaze you reserve for boring furniture and average food.
'Come, Grandma. It's not very far now.'
Addressing the very old, very frail-looking woman in a yukata that has been by her side all this time, and that I only now got around to noticing, Shimada helps her along slowly across our field of sight, using her good hand.
She never spares another glance at us, until the swish of her raven hair melds into the night, and then she's gone.
All I can think of is, Hell of a time to finally remember her name.
Again tonight I'm hit by a mix of relief and disappointment when Chiyo releases my arm, muttering something vicious.
'Jeez. So what WAS her problem, this time?'
'She jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry, Hisao.'
'O-kay. Tell you what, since you're sorry do me a favor. Pretend I'm asking all the obvious questions and explain.'
'Alright... she assumed, because she's seen us in my dorms and again now in front of yours, that we're together.'
I nod, then the full impact of the implication strikes, and I can feel my eyes bulge out a little at THIS one.
'Uh, you mean...'
'I don't know exactly what I mean, because I don't know exactly what she thinks. And I don't really care to.'
'R-right. And...'
'And she gets under my skin more than I'd usually care to admit, so I decided to get back at her out of spite.'
'Okay...'
'So I deliberately wound her up, knowing full well that it'd enrage her, but I used you in the process. That's why I'm sorry.'
'Because you made like, uh...'
'Yes. Because I let her believe you're, uhm... my boyfriend.'
I'm unaccountably happy to hear the hesitation in Chiyo's usually unflappable tone, and to see her a little crestfallen.
I'm more than a little nervous myself, mind. I'm just happy I'm not the only one. Chiyo takes a deep breath before continuing.
'In short, now she thinks we're a couple. She'll feed the school rumors even more, which is what I didn't want to happen, exclusively because of my anger. And I've involved you in this without so much as asking permission. I'm inexcusable.'
And with that, she falls silent, looking very small and dejected.
'Hmmm...'
I scratch the tip of my nose, but my embarrassment doesn't feel as bad as it should, maybe because I have someone to share it with.
'...It doesn't really bother me that much, you know.'
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Chiyo perking her head up a bit while I forge ahead.
'Sure, it's a little annoying to have something that's not true stick to you, but it's not like it's a BAD something in this case. I mean, you're a smart, pretty, nice girl. Heck, there's guys in my class who'd *kill* to have this kind of rumor spread.'
Oh God, this is too much. I can't look at her, again.
'Um, what I'm getting at is that there's no need... you don't have to beat yourself up over this. I don't mind if you won't. Mind. That is.'
'Thank you.'
That was so soft I could barely hear it. But at least Chiyo doesn't sound like she's bound for the gallows anymore, even though her eyes are still pointing downwards.
'So... the closing fireworks are about to start, I guess. Want to go watch them?'
She raises her head to look at me full in the eye, and there's a hint of a smile curling the corners of her lips.
'I think I'd like that.'
***
The best spots for watching the festival's grand finale have been taken up ages ago by the overenthusiastic, of course. So we end up having to make do with a bench at the border of the gardens, where some landscaping has been going on.
It's not bad, but it's a little chilly, because of all the foliage and damp earth. Well, probably that's the reason why it remained free until now.
We've been sitting in companionable silence, waiting for the start, until Chiyo stretches a little and stifles a yawn.
'Tired?'
'A little... I didn't get very much sleep last night.'
'We don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know. If you feel too sleepy, I'll be happy to escort you back.'
'Oh no, I'm fine. Besides, I don't want to miss this. Hmm...'
She's looking at me with a very intent look on her face. Like she's sizing me up.
'What? Do I have something on my face?'
She shakes her head negatively, but doesn't speak. I start fidgeting a little under her scrutiny. A few moments later, she seems to come to a decision.
'Hold still.'
I get to blink once before she scoots a little closer and leans against me, shorting out a few important thought processes of mine in the bargain.
'H-hey.'
'Mmm. You're warm.'
And that is that. Her happy purr against my shoulder finishes me off.
What the heck happened to the girl that didn't want to be touched? Well, technically she's the one who has been doing all of that tonight, but... this still seems a little much.
Oh, whatever. I'll worry about that later. Right now, I have Chiyo snuggled against me. She's warm too, and light, and her hair smells nice in that unidentifiable way girls have.
To complain about having a slice of heaven, I'd have to be a complete, first-class idiot. So I shut up, and hold still.
A few blissful minutes pass before the first of the fireworks whistles up into the night. The bang and burst of red lights startle me enough that I twitch, and immediately I worry about disturbing Chiyo.
She hasn't moved at all though. Has she dozed off?
More rockets ripple into the sky, making a staccato of booms. Chrysanthemums of bright sparks blossom and fade in quick succession.
The sound is fairly loud this close to the field. I should really make sure that Chiyo is awake. She said she didn't want to miss this, and I can't blame her.
I hesitate, divided between two conflicting duties, but fortunately I'm saved from having to make a decision when I feel movement at my side.
'I'm not sleeping.'
'Well, you could have fooled me.'
'Look who's talking. I was thinking I was sitting next to a statue.'
'You did tell me to hold still.'
'So I did, and thank you for doing such a good job.'
'My pleasure.'
'This is beautiful.'
'Yeah.'
Crackles and pops multiply as the slow-motion dance of the fireworks unfolds. Content to watch and wait, we observe waterfalls, Roman candles, and all kinds of flowers in all the colors of the spectrum flare, dim, and dissipate. Too soon, the spectacle ends, and with it the Yamaku festival.
'Hisao?'
'Hmm?'
'I have something to ask you.'
'The answer is yes. I'll start being your personal valet on Monday.'
'Ha ha, funny guy. No, this is serious.'
'Aw come on, can't it wait until tomorrow? You said it, today's the festival, let's just have some fun.'
'Yes, and the festival is over. It's tomorrow. So please?'
I heave a deep sigh. 'I was hoping you wouldn't think of that. Fine, go ahead.'
Chiyo pauses for a second before speaking again, collecting her thoughts.
'I have seen something I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it, and now it's gnawing at me.'
I groan. I know where this is going.
'You don't have to answer, and if you don't I promise you I'll never bring this up again, but I have to ask. Hisao...'
'Yes.'
I said that more forcefully than I had to. We are both quiet for a little while.
'Sorry. But yes, those pills are for my heart. I suffer from arrhythmia. That's what you were going to ask, isn't it?'
'Yes.'
'See, I told you that the answer was yes.'
'Silly. ...I'm sorry, I couldn't really not notice them when I burst into your room, thinking you were dying on me or something.'
'That's okay, I was sort of expecting this. It's something I will have to get used to anyway, and it's not your fault.'
'Thanks. But I don't think it's really okay, and lately I have done a lot of apologizing to you without doing anything to make amends.'
'Alright. You can start being my personal maid on Monday instead.'
'You're impossible. Do I have to slug you and feel guiltier for it before you start listening to me?'
'Heh. I'm all ears, partner.'
'Better. So Hisao, ask me what's wrong with me.'
'...eh?'
'You heard right. You get this one chance to ask me about the... problems that make me study at Yamaku Academy.'
'Hey, hold on, how is this supposed to make things better?'
'Doesn't it make them fair? Two secrets, whispered into a well at midnight. We can be each other's well.'
'I'm not too sure I like how that sounds. And why don't you just, you know, TELL me?'
'Would you have told me now if I hadn't found out by chance, Hisao?'
That stops my protests cold in their tracks.
'I assure you it's not any easier for me than it is for you, Hisao, even though I have been at Yamaku longer.'
'...Maybe. But I'm not as clever as you, Chiyo. How am I supposed to figure it out, just like that?'
'I won't comment on that, but I'm quite sure you can, and I have at least two reasons why you will.'
'And what are these two reasons?'
'The first is that the answer is right under your nose.'
'If you say so. And the second?'
Chiyo rubs herself against my side a little, settling in more comfortably and "accidentally" ringing all sorts of warning bells inside me. Her next words are in a playful lilt.
'The second is that I'm the girl leaning against you, and I'm feeling too comfortable to move until you try.'
'GAH!'
The cat-like grin she directs at me under the moonlight is charming, but not very reassuring.
I grumble a little, but inwards I'm sending my mental gears spinning at highest speed.
The reason Chiyo is using for not telling me outright makes some sense, yet I also think there's something more to this.
It's a test. Some sort of test that has 'OK, show me that I'm not wasting my time with you. Prove it!' written all over it.
Seems more like the sort of thing I'd expect from Shizune, but on second thought, Chiyo appears to be easily as smart as her, even though she's practically the reverse when we're talking competition. She is ready to throw a match, but not to play it.
So this is not a competition. She doesn't care about "winning" or "losing". If anything, she'd be hoping she will "lose", because she thinks so little of herself.
...which in turn means that all she said is absolutely true, and I have the pieces needed to solve the puzzle. And by damn, would I honestly want to hang around some dumbass that isn't even able to put two and two together myself?
Okay, so she's not trying to make this hard on me. Her second "hint" is plainly worthless... even though I'm finding it very motivating, I must confess. That leaves the first one.
"The answer is right under my nose." Hmm. Under my nose...
I catch a whiff of fragrance, and inwardly curse myself for not getting it instantly.
'Chiyo, I'm going to talk a litttle to myself. Is that all right with you?'
'Is that going to be part of your answer?'
'Yes, I'd say it is. You can stop me at any time if I'm getting anything wrong, and declare my attempt null and void.'
'Sure. Go ahead.'
'Now Chiyo, you dye your hair, don't you? Ah, you don't need to answer that, it's a rhetorical question. May I?'
Getting a nod in response, I lift a hank of her beautiful hair and twirl it a little between my fingers. It occurs to me that it's the first time that she lets me touch her, even though it's just this.
'You picked a very unusual color. It stands out everywhere. But your natural hair color appears to be quite common, going from your lashes, which are black.'
Careful. Careful.
'Why, then, would a black-haired girl with strangely-colored eyes try to stand out more, rather than less, when it's obvious she doesn't really enjoy attracting attention? I have found only one possible answer to this.'
'The answer is that this bright color is meant to stand out, to distract people from something else. It's a sort of camouflage.'
'So the only really unusual thing left about you are your eyes. I feel stupid for not fitting things together earlier, but you fooled me as well as anyone, until you made me stop and think about things.'
Chiyo stays quiet. Time to go for broke.
'I think your real, natural hair color is white. ...You're albino, aren't you.'
'I told you you could do it.'
I slowly let out the breath I wasn't even aware I was holding.
'May I ask you something else, Chiyo?'
'Sure, why not.'
'You dye your eyebrows and lashes as a second layer of camouflage, don't you? If you were brightly-colored all over, people might suspect there was something odd going on underneath that. But by providing something... common, you let others trick themselves into thinking you're nothing more than a silly rebellious girl.'
'Very good. Full marks, Hisao.'
'Thank you. I think. ...Doesn't that get tedious, every morning?'
A tinkling giggle precedes her response. 'Aw, you just spoiled a whole load of good deductive reasoning by showing your ignorance about women. Not really. It's minimal, and you don't want to know how much makeup some of our schoolmates apply every day just to look a little better. Trust me, you really don't.'
'Uh...'
'This is also one reason why I asked you to meet so late today. I don't tan well, that is, not at all. I can go out in the sun, as long as I don't push things too far, but really strong, hot sunlight means a quick painful burn for me.'
Chiyo is looking amused, even relieved, as though getting this in the open has lifted a weight from her shoulders. Her reaction to laying out the cards on the table, so to speak, is radically different from mine. I suppose that's what having had to deal with her condition for all of her life does.
All her chattiness, however, vanishes in an unstoppably long yawn.
'Oops. I guess I AM getting tired. We should go, tomorrow's a school day after all.'
'You mean today. Am I allowed to get up now?'
'Yeah yeah, don't be a grump. Just let me get my crutch.'
We sort ourselves out and dust ourselves down, but she still looks like she has something to say before going.
'Hey Hisao, may I ask something too?'
'Of course.'
'...How bad is your heart condition?'
It's still somewhat shocking to get asked that so directly. I settle for the most simple, honest answer I feel I can give.
'Pretty bad.'
I'm a little proud of myself for keeping an even tone. Chiyo nods thoughtfully, and we start to head back.
***
The school grounds are pretty deserted by now, and we must be close to the last people to turn in. Which suits me fine, since I had more than enough excitement for one evening. I don't really want to cross paths with anybody else, just escort Chiyo back to her place, get back to my room, and fall dead to the world until morning breaks.
Miraculously, that's what I get. The walk to the Junior dorms is uneventful, and soon we're in front of the main door, where we can say our goodbyes.
'Thanks, Hisao. I really enjoyed going to the festival with you.'
Chiyo bows, a trace of her previous formality still left over. Old habits die hard.
'No, thank you. The pleasure was all mine... hmm?'
She is looking at something a little to the left of my eyes. I wipe my hand across that part of my face, but nothing shows on my palm.
'Oh, could you bend down a little for me, please?'
After rummaging in her tiny shoulderbag, Chiyo summons up a frilly handkerchief.
This is a bit embarrassing. Well, she's just being kind and there's nobody around to see anyway. I obediently bend down until my head is roughly at her level.
And promptly get taken by surprise as she steadies my face with one hand and plants a chaste, but very firm, kiss on my other cheek.
'There, now you have a proper mark. Be sure to wash it off later.'
My face is burning up, not least at having been had. I can't even stand properly, since Chiyo is still hanging on to my neck. Her eyes are sparkling and she's doing her best to hide a smile, even if her face looks at least as pink as mine feels.
'You were just going to clean my face!'
'I said nothing like that. I only asked you to bend down a little for me.'
'You sneak!'
'I thought that was clear by now. Do I have your attention?'
'What?'
She's still smiling faintly, but the impish look is gone, though the blush isn't.
'Hisao, I think you're a very sweet boy. I had a lot of fun tonight, and I wouldn't mind going out with you again. Am I getting through clearly to you?'
I thought I was blushing before. Obviously I was wrong, since the temperature shot up by several degrees just now. My throat feels dry, and I can only manage a croak.
'Uh. Yes.'
'Good. I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, then? So we can talk again, a little more calmly.'
I dumbly nod, not quite trusting myself to say any more words. No more seem to be needed, in any case. Finally Chiyo releases me, defiantly holding her ground for a beat longer.
'Goodnight.'
'Night...'
Moving as quickly as her leg allows, she passes through the doors and is gone, leaving only the pleasant smell of her hair in her wake.
I don't know how I'll manage sleeping tonight.
***
...
As expected, I can't sleep.
Maybe the events of the day, or more likely my parting with Chiyo, are still roiling inside my brain.
I toss and turn in bed, trying to sleep on my side, on my back, on my stomach. Nothing helps.
I'm feeling really tired but my brain can't disconnect.
...
What was that trick for this kind of situation? There is one but I don't remember it.
...
-SC
Shattering your dreams since '94. I also fought COVID in '20 and '21, and all I got was this lousy forum sig.
Very good story. Looking forward to future chapters!
"They leave. Because they should, or they find someone else. And some of them...some of them, forget me. I suppose in the end....they break my heart." - Tenth Doctor talking about his companions.
Now, I am obviously necroing this thread, but it's worthy of it. I absolutely loved this story, and wished I had the abilities of you, SC. I do hope you shall forgive me for bumping this, but shit, I love it. I do hope that it isn't over.
