Maid In Hell: Starring Shizune

[Murex]

Well, I finally wrote some Katawa Shoujo fanfiction. It's bad and I should feel bad, but I plan to continue it. Here is the first chapter of Maid In Hell.

Maid In Hell: Chapter 1

Shizune slammed her fist down on the desk with the force of a trash compacter. What. Is. This?

Baffled, Hisao deciphered her furious signing, simultaneously running through his memory to see what he'd done wrong. He couldn't find a single incident that would account for such immense rage. What is what, Shizune?

He'd gotten the sign for “what” slightly wrong; Shizune noticed this even through her fury, and it only worsened her mood. THIS! She threw the videotape down before him.

Mutou turned from his calculations at the blackboard, apparently noticing the argument only now. “Hakamichi, Nakai, could you take this outside?”

Misha, eyes wide, quickly translated for Shizune, but she had gotten the gist of the message. She swept out of the room, dragging her bewildered boyfriend along by the cuff of his uniform. Once out in the hall, they faced each other, Shizune's face still twisted with rage and her captive's wearing an expression of deepening consternation.

Shizune, you'd better have a good reason for this, Hisao signed as quickly as he was able. I'm missing Mutou's lecture. He was joking to break the tension, but she could tell he was annoyed.

Without further pretense she handed the videotape to him. This was in your room.

Hisao scanned the cover, his face slowly registering recognition. It bore a faded illustration of a buxom girl wearing black bunny ears, a maid's bonnet, and nothing else. An enthusiastic title arched above her: I Love You, My Master!!! The Jewel-Seeking Maid and The Naughty Cat-Eared Rival: All Six Episodes With An Extra “Something H” At The End!! The other side bore a short description of the series (covering those points not detailed in the title, which were very few) and more illustrations, including some of the Naughty Cat-Eared Rival, who, it appeared, was.

Shizune—Hisao began trying to explain himself, looking, appropriately, like a fundamentalist at a yaoi convention. Shizune, I--

It was in your room, Shizune signed icily. Under your bed. It had been buried beneath Crest of the Stars and Candide.

Actually, I—wait, Hisao looked her straight in the eye, his gaze becoming hard. What were you doing in my room?

I should have anticipated this question, Shizune thought, but she had been too angry to think ahead. Quite a lapse, for her. That doesn't matter, she told Hisao. What matters is that you were watching porn without my knowledge. What matters is that you're a pervert who could very well be cheating on me, too.

It's not mine, it's Kenji's, Hisao replied. And why were you looking in my--

I don't want to hear any excuses! Shizune's sudden rage surprised even her. Hisao shrunk back, as if her anger were physically dangerous. Perhaps it is, she thought. You pervert, she continued, you've been jerking off to this shit since we started dating! Every night, I bet...you pervert, you jerk, you bastard, you liar, you IDIOT!

Shizune! Hisao grabbed her arm; she was too shocked to react. Stop. Listen to me.

I told you, Shizune's hands shook in her fury, I told you, I won't--

Shizune! Hisao clutched her hands, silencing her. Do you realize how you're acting? First you root around my room without asking, then you accuse me of watching porn and don't listen to my excuses...this is crazy, Shizune. Do you think I'd put up with such treatment? Shizune, it's over.

Over? Shizune repeated the word as Hisao released her hands. What do you mean, it's over?

We're breaking up. Tell Mutou I went to see Nurse. Hisao walked away swiftly, signing a final message: See you around, Shizune.

Shizune watched him retreat, stunned. It was only after he'd turned the corner that she managed to formulate a response:

You idiot!



Without consulting Misha or Mutou, Shizune stomped back to her room, slamming the door so hard the windows rattled.

That idiot, she ranted mentally, that complete fool, what was he thinking, breaking up with me like that! I'm the one who should have broken up with him—I had a reason! Yes, I had a perfectly good reason to be angry—and why should I listen to him, anyway? He's the one at fault, stashing porn away like that beneath his bed—but he said it was Kenji's! Typical male excuse, shove the blame on your friend—but what if it really was Kenji's? No, that can't be true—but what if it was? Then the things I said to him—the things I called him—Misha, you idiot, why did I listen to you?

She lay facedown on the bed, all her righteous fury spent. It wasn't Misha's fault, really, it was her own. Misha was the one who'd made an offhand comment about Hicchan probably having boxes and boxes of porn under his bed—all men did, right? Though maybe the smarter ones picked a more original hiding place, but Hicchan wasn't really that bright—but Shizune was the one who had fretted over that comment, brooding silently for days, until she at last determined to sneak into Hisao's room during his morning run, look under the bed, just to be sure...

He was probably telling the truth, she thought miserably. Tears stung her eyes—when was the last time she'd cried? And I was such a jerk to him. I'm sorry, Hisao...I'm such a fool...

She got up, dried her tears, and began to set up the VCR.

Shizune and Misha had found the VCR last year while cleaning the student council room. Nobody seemed to have any use for it, so Shizune took it back to her room, reasoning that she could at least sell it for a small profit. It had languished under her bed (she smiled bitterly) for over a year. After a few minutes' labor Shizune managed to hook the VCR up to the small TV across from her bed. She checked the time, made sure the door was locked, popped in the videotape and pressed play.

The opening seemed pretty run-of-the-mill for ecchi (at least from what Shizune had seen of the genre; Hideaki was something of a fan). A small pink-haired girl, generously serving up panty shots against a background of dancing green stars; a blushing catgirl in an amazingly thin bikini; an average-looking young man with a katana and a nosebleed. The lyrics flashed in subtitles across the screen, peppered with English phrases: I love you, oh baby, come kiss me now...

The plot was about as interesting; a bland high school student who was for some reason the reincarnation of an ancient samurai suddenly found himself the master of a shy maid with an enormous chest. She was on a quest to collect magical jewels, which would somehow enable her to save the world from a huge-chinned villain who rolled his R's. A catgirl who worked for the villain ran around trying to sabotage her plans. There was no actual sex in the first episode; indeed, Shizune found herself drifting off to sleep. Hisao, I sure hope this isn't yours, she thought, because if it is, you're a duller person than I ever could have imagined.

Mercifully, the episode ended, with a lovely image of some cherry trees and a detailed panty shot. The credits rolled.

Shizune found herself being suddenly drawn into the video. The ending animation was simple--a swirling vortex of yellow hearts with the jewel-seeking maid dancing cheerfully in a corner—but she found it oddly mesmerizing. And slowly, she became conscious of a chorus being repeated in her head, a chorus consisting of a single word: MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO, MEIDO...

This is getting creepy, Shizune thought.

She got up to turn off the television, but found herself knocked flat on her back, as if she'd been pushed over. As she struggled to her feet, the chanting intensified, and changed. MEIDO, MEIDO, WANT TO BE A MEIDO? MEIDO, MEIDO, WANT TO BE A MEIDO?

NO! Shizune signed violently. I don't want to be a maid!

There was a bright flash of light, and then everything went dark.

When Shizune awoke, the video had moved on to another episode. The clock read 10:30.

Shizune began to get up, then stopped. Slowly, she moved her hand over her throat. Something rustled—lace? Her head felt heavy—she was wearing a hat of some sort. Her legs were hot, as if covered in stockings...

Swallowing nervously, Shizune looked down. Her dread was warranted.

Shizune Hakamichi had become a maid.

[bradpara]

SHATTER

[griffon8]

It's… not as bad as you make it out to be. That said, I'd say you're still finding your way. I can't really put my finger on what I find a little off about it, but something seems that way.

Maybe the suddenness of Hisao breaking up with Shizune. Not that I think there's a better way when your only means of communication is through sign language. I'll read it again a little later and see if I get the same impression.

Of course, this may just be because Shizune is my favorite…

[Mirage_GSM]

Now, who is being mean to Shizune?

[Minister of Gloom]

The only real problem I see here is that Hisao is somehow capable of clutching Shizune's two hands and still speaking with her in sign language at the same time.
I mean, I guess it's possible that he held both of them in the same one (Oh Shizune you have such tiny hands) and spoke slowly with the other one, but still.

Other than that, it's cool. Maids are cool. Shizune as a maid is cool too. Can't wait to see more.

[Murex]

It's… not as bad as you make it out to be. That said, I'd say you're still finding your way. I can't really put my finger on what I find a little off about it, but something seems that way.

Maybe the suddenness of Hisao breaking up with Shizune. Not that I think there's a better way when your only means of communication is through sign language. I'll read it again a little later and see if I get the same impression.

Of course, this may just be because Shizune is my favorite…

Thanks for the criticism. I agree that Hisao's breakup with Shizune does seem a little sudden. Looking over the story, I think there should have been a little more buildup to that moment. Also, I guess Shizune seemed somewhat bitchy in this chapter. I'll try to tune that down; she's my favorite character too.

[Murex]

The only real problem I see here is that Hisao is somehow capable of clutching Shizune's two hands and still speaking with her in sign language at the same time.
I mean, I guess it's possible that he held both of them in the same one (Oh Shizune you have such tiny hands) and spoke slowly with the other one, but still.

Other than that, it's cool. Maids are cool. Shizune as a maid is cool too. Can't wait to see more.

Damn, you're right. I can't see any way that would have worked unless Hisao's hands were really big and Shizune's really small. And Hisao's hands aren't that big, probably. Well, I'm glad you like the story, and thanks for the feedback.

[Leotrak]

Mind = Blown

*insert "good job" image here*

[Murex]

Here's the second part.

Maid in Hell: Chapter Two


"Yamada-kun, I can't!" Ichiro Abe shouted. "You must understand--you're my student!

"I don't care!" the young girl countered, mascara-ringed eyes blazing. "I love only you, Abe-sensei! Together, we have watched the sunset, eaten takoyaki, made love in the sweltering summer heat! Our families have been close since we were young! Yet you won't even call me your wife..."

"But Yamada-kun, society will reject us!" Though he tried to speak firmly, pain had inscribed itself on the high school teacher's chiseled face. "You must understand--"

Mouth full of popcorn, Misha lazily switched off the television. Slouched in the stiff armchair, she glanced at the common room clock. A quarter to 11--class should be getting out soon. Time to go see what Shicchan was up to.

Leaving the chilly and desolate common room, she trudged up the stairs to the girls' dorms, pausing to orient herself a few times along the way. Finally, head spinning, she stood before Shizune's door.

"Shicchan!" she called, knocking vigorously. "Oh, Shiicccchaann!" Of course Shizune couldn't hear her, but Misha could always keep track of her thoughts better if she shouted them out loud.

No answer. She knocked harder. Surely Shicchan would answer if she saw the door shaking.

Finally, the door opened, giving Misha a surprise of unusually great proportions.

Her best friend stood in front of her, looking far from her usual self. Shizune's hair was rumpled, her glasses crooked, her fists clenched. She seemed to be blushing--a rare sight indeed, though not unprecedented. Most importantly, she was wearing a maid costume.

It didn't take long for Misha to draw the almost painfully obvious conclusion.

Ah, Shicchan, I'm interrupting something! she signed gleefully, before her victim had a chance to explain herself. I'll leave right away, of course--but you and Hicchan have such an interesting way of making up! Later, you must tell me!--

Misha! Shizune fixed her friend with a furious--and inexplicably adorable--gaze. Please don't involve me in your perverted fantasies! Listen to me!

But Shicchan, how am I supposed to listen if you can't--sorry! Sorry! Misha quickly backtracked as the class president bore down on her with her adorable yet terrifying angry face. I was just surprised, okay! I had no idea you liked cosplay!

I don't like cosplay, Shizune replied crossly, retreating into her bedroom to crash dejectedly on the bed.

Misha followed her inside without permission. A videotape lay on the floor, in front of the television. She went to pick it up, and got a pillow to the head.

Don't touch that, Shizune signed sternly, gazing down at her. It's dangerous.

And here I thought you just liked hitting me with pillows. Misha got up, rubbing the back of her head. Does it have anthrax on it, or something?

Worse. Shizune gestured at her unusual getup. It did this to me.

Misha stared at her incredulously, mouth gaping like a fish. A videotape turned you into a maid? she signed, body shaking with laughter. WAHAHAHAHA~! Shicchan, you're hilariou--

WHUMP.


In the end, Hisao never made it to Nurse's office. He'd meant to pay Nurse a visit, if only to keep the bastard from tracking him down and delivering one of his short but frightening lectures, but his feet decided otherwise, and he found himself simply wandering the grounds, surrounded by the lush trees. Bees buzzed around him as he tried to keep his mind blank.

How long have I been here at Yamaku? Hisao thought. Almost two months, but it feels like much longer. Everything was so novel when I arrived, and now I've settled into a routine. This place feels friendly, familiar, except for...

Except for his relationship with Shizune. They'd been dating for over a month, and Hisao had found that having a girlfriend felt strangely...right. He'd never properly dated anyone before, and he'd always thought that the first few weeks of a relationship would be more rocky. Suddenly spending so much time with another person should be a bit of a shock, right? Maybe, he thought with a self-mocking smile, going out with Shizune had been so easy to get used to because he'd already spend so much time in her presence--by choice or not.

And it all ended so suddenly. I ended it...

Class would get out soon for a study break, followed by a lunch period. Not bothering to go back for the last 20 minutes of Mutou's spiel, Hisao headed down the hill to grab a bite to eat, and maybe some tea.

The Shanghai teahouse wasn't crowded. Hisao grabbed a table at the back and ordered a cup of black tea and a croissant. He was about to take a sip when a cheery voice sounded behind him: "Hisao! What's up!"

"Emi!" Hisao almost dropped the teacup. "Don't scare me like that! What are you doing here?"

"I do have to eat sometimes, you know," Emi replied with a grin. "Rin's started another mural by the girl's dorms, so I just came down here for lunch. Hmm, what's that you're eating?" She snatched up the croissant and examined it intently. "This looks rather...buttery." She gave Hisao a suspicious sideways glance, subtle as a sledgehammer.

"I'm sure it's as healthy as a grapefruit." Hisao chose a path of passive resistance, leaving Emi to glare at him futilely. "Did class get out?"

"Yeah, about ten minutes ago. I ran here. Almost knocked over an old guy--but I felt really bad about it! Don't look at me like that!" Emi put her hands on her hips and pouted for a minute. "But you got here earlier, right?"

"Yeah." Hisao had dreaded her inevitable questions, but suddenly, he felt that he wouldn't mind explaining things to Emi. She really was a good listener if the subject wasn't food. "Shizune and I had a fight. I...broke up with her."

"WHAT?" Emi's shout turned all the heads in the cafe; Hisao could picture birds taking flight outside. "Uh, sorry," she said, abashed, "but you two were getting along so well! I mean, Shizune can be kind of cranky sometimes, but I thought you could handle it!"

"So did I. But today, she flipped out on me, and she didn't even give me a chance to explain myself." Hisao recounted the story of the videotape, the confrontation in the hall, and the fateful outcome. "I just couldn't put up with that kind of treatment, Emi--could you?"

"Well, I very sincerely hope you were not watching porn." Once again, Emi directed her hands-on-hips glare at him, but relaxed after a moment. "But assuming you're being truthful, which I believe you are, I think your actions are justified. The question is...is this what you want, Hisao?"

Hisao thought for a minute. "I guess so. I mean, I want some time away from Shizune. A week, at least. Maybe I broke up with her kind of quickly, but I think I made the right decision."

"You don't sound so sure," Emi replied, sounding unusually serious. "You talk as if you want to get back with Shizune in the future, but when? Maybe after a week she'll be dating someone else, and will want to see you less than ever. Even if you're mad, you should go talk to her. As soon as possible, Hisao!"

"Talk to her? I'm trying to avoid her!" Hisao shook his head. "Emi, I get your point, but I just want some time away from Shizune now. If that means I can't ever go out with her again, then that just can't be helped."

Emi sighed. "Well, I can't convince you when you're like this. But I can cheer you up!" Like clouds clearing after a thunderstorm, she reverted to her usual mode. "Let's have lunch together! Waiter, can I have some tea, please? No sugar! Hisao, guess what Rin did this morning when I mentioned Takeshi..."


Hisao didn't see Shizune or Misha for the rest of the day. In the evening he returned to his dorm, tired but somewhat relieved. It had been a long day, and he decided to read only a few chapters of his current book before hopping into bed.

He was just about to turn off the light when a very familiar voice sounded outside his door.

"Hicchan! Open up~!" Misha called. "Shicchan is here too! We've got a few questions, and we're very anxious for you to answer them!"

[hatori1181]

excellent. I'm not a huge fan of Shizune, but I'm liking this fic, can't wait for the next part.

[Leotrak]

Heehee... :3


Yes, the above is all I have to say about this ^_^

[xaolindragon]

Oh wow. I stumbled across this while reading another fan fiction. Sorry for the grave-digging, but this is really nice story. It's a shame nothing's happened for months.