KosherBacon's writefaggotry: Lilly, Hisao, Page 18

[Ragnarok1991388]

I regret nothing

Good, because that was fuckin' awsome!

[Doc Forrest]

I had no problem with it whatsoever.

[Jojje]

Goddamn. Why wouldn't I be surprised if Hanako would be a dominatrix in the game?

[Snicket]

[Goldilurks]

Sorry to those who were repulsed, it was territory that had to be tread upon. I regret nothing

Do you ever?

I for one liked it, and am pinging mostly to ask if there's anything new coming down the pike soon. I miss your fics.

[kosherbacon]

A few things in self-editing hell, but don't worry, I haven't given up on any of the unfinished stories.

[trekki859]

just read the emi love story and..... god... im shock, speachless even. hanako? really? just... wow. tho for the sake of my saianty im going to pretend in my mind that it was hisao.

[Devon]

...I will never think of Hanako and Lilly the same way again. Ever.

[trekki859]

...I will never think of Hanako and Lilly the same way again. Ever.

tell me about it >.> i belive he would have had a heart attack right there....

[kosherbacon]

I dedicate this fanfiction to Mr. Neuman, who has a birthday today, according to Skype and Facebook.

================================================================================================================================
Behind Friendly Lines
================================================================================================================================

“Come on, come on...”

Hisao laid on his bed, rested his back against a pile of pillows and beddings, and assumed his preferred position as he wrestled with his pride. His manliest of manly chores was requiring an unprecedented amount of care and tenderness to pull off. Hisao had fallen out of practice after so many months of being laid up in the hospital, catching up with school, and struggling to cope with changes in his surroundings. Something that came naturally and smoothly before had degenerated into a wrenching struggle of sheer will versus medical science.

The doctors said that personal dysfunction was likely to happen, but with every fiber of his virility, Hisao was going to remaster his weapon or die trying.

“UGH. Dammit!”

No success. Hisao dumped a palm full of lotion from the pump bottle by his bed and took a few deep breaths to ready his body for a steadily increasing workload. Expiring with his pants down and crumpled around one leg with his shirt yanked behind his neck was not in his plans.

“Unf, yeah...” he said to himself while drawing inspiration from the ether of his imagination and memories. His mind's eye was force-fed extrapolated but tantalizing images Emi's taut buttocks, Shizune's juicy breasts, Misha's hopefully hairless but plump vulva, Hanako's ideally proportioned silhouette, Rin's rhythmic undulations, Yuuko's silky soft skin, and Lilly's melodic voice...

“Hisao?”

...Lilly's voice?!

“Hisao, are you in here?” she asked while Hisao completed a follow-through tug, wiped his hand off on his pillows, and hastily dressed. In the panicked response to his interruption, he completely forgot whether or not he even managed to jerk himself erect.

“Oh! Lilly, sorry! You caught me in the middle of getting dressed.”

“Oh my, I am sorry about that. Should I leave?”

“No, it's okay. I should've locked the door,” Hisao said, regretting the one time he left the door ajar. He had gotten complacent since interrupting the masturbation of others was forbidden by the code of conduct practiced by the Yamaku men. Clearly, no such taboo existed for the girls.

“Would you like a seat? Is there anything I can get for you?” he continued, thankful that it was Lilly, out of anyone, who walked in on him stroking his manhood.

“Thank you, but I will be brief,” Lilly answered, with a tone that suggested that she had some idea of the lurid business she stumbled upon.

“Um, okay, what is it?”

Lilly straightened her posture, gathered her breath and drove a tea-scented stake through Hisao's heart... and balls.

“Hanako wants you to give her space.”

“Um... what?”

“She still wants to be friends but, do understand that your... advances are making her uncomfortable.”

“What advances?”

“Perhaps that was a poor choice of words. I was referring to your um... gravitating towards her. For example, you following her to the library, being where she goes throughout the day, and constantly vying for her attention.”

“Well uh, I...”

“We both care about you, Hisao, but you need to perhaps find other people to devote your time to, before we all end up in a bad place.”

“Okay,” Hisao sighed with all the sorrow of a severed opportunity chilling his voice.

“If I may,” Lilly concluded before leaving, “your technique lacks tact and restraint. Girls don't like boys who appear to be desperate.”

While Lilly was trying to be helpful, there really was no way she could have conveyed that last thought and not sound like a judgmental bitch. Hisao wondered how much of a normal friendship with the girls would be waiting for him the next day. He was, in every way that could possibly matter to a young man, completely and utterly doomed. Although he wouldn't have minded thrusting into the guts of his other female friends, he was no closer to hooking up with them than curing arrhythmia. Hanako was Hisao's last, best chance for a relationship that he knew of, and she evidently thought Hisao was being a creepy stalker.

Perhaps it was all for the best. It would have been tragic to actually get into Hanako's panties with a limp noodle. Hisao abandoned his quest for sexual self-conquest and resigned to forever wallow in his own patheticness. If he couldn't get it up, what was the point in even trying to get with a girl?

Hisao's despair was interrupted and then exacerbated by Kenji's nasal snickering at his still open door.

“So what'd the foreign heifer want?”

“Don't call her that, man...”

“Why not? She just cockblocked you when all you wanted was some char-grilled—”

“Hey, don't call Hanako that... WAIT, you were listening?!”

“Dude, nobody else is home, and that broad's voice carries.”

“Ugh, whatever. Just leave me alone, okay?”

“You know I can't just leave you in such a destitute state. It would be unchivalrous.”

“What? No, I'll be fine.”

“Like hell you will be. Besides, I probably owe you for borrowing money or whatever. Come on, let's go bowling.”

Being too weak to do anything but go with the flow, Hisao relented and went bowling with Kenji.

“Playing with bumpers up adds a new dimension of challenge to the game. Any idiot could curve a ball and hit a strike, but it takes a real man to factor in ricochets from the bumpers and still achieve the same results.”

Hisao found Kenji's bullshitting to be amusing in its needlessness. Nobody on any planet would fault a legally blind man for using such aids in a game of bowling.

“Not bad, Nakai, but don't get too cocky. I just don't want you to get humiliated by my skill.”

The bumpers transformed Hisao's mediocre score into a fantastic one, so of course Kenji's “generous handicap” was feigned to make himself look better. Still, dishonest thoughtfulness was still thoughtfulness, and Hisao felt happy to be acknowledged. With a content but heavy sigh, Hisao found that he was suddenly and finally in the midst of a moment of true friendship the likes of which he couldn't remember ever experiencing. He wouldn't have admitted it then, but Hisao wished that game would never end.

“Hisao...” the distant voice called back.

“Hisao! Yo, another game or not?”

“Huh? Oh, if you want. Sorry.”

“Still got your mind on Two-Face?” Kenji asked.

“Sort of.”

“Well forget the bitch. Romance is for suckers.”

Hisao scoffed Kenji's clichéd rejection of romantic follies at first. The scene of embittered men seeking solace in each other's company was so typical that it couldn't possibly happen in real life.

“Why do we even bother?” Hisao questioned the universe out loud.

“Why? To perpetuate a Feminist scam,” Kenji answered on the universe's behalf. “Back when us men ruled the world, marriage, fucking, and having kids was all a matter of business, so women conspired to invent the institution of 'romance.' The whole point was so that women could be in complete control of the perpetuation of the species. By modern times, women had THE say when we get sex, when we get to sow our seeds, how our sons are raised, and by extension every goddamned aspect of our lives. Me, I'm not having any part of it. I can boost our numbers without submitting to any succubus's demands.”

“Hah, well,” Hisao chuckled, “so you're saying that the only reason why we even chase after girls is because we've been conditioned to? Well, if that's the case, what else should I be doing with my energy?”

“Great things, man. Building civilizations, fighting crusades, looting and plundering, philosophizing ground breaking ideas, anything really. Stick with your fellow men and don't let any whore hold you back, brother.”

“That's great and all, but I'm not the kind of guy who's out to conquer the world. What about simple loneliness?”

“Well, we got each other. What else do we need?”

Hisao mulled over that for a few moments. With Kenji, he got all the sense of belonging and togetherness that he hoped to find in Hanako. Suddenly, he found himself careening down a train of thought he never thought he'd ride. What was the difference between the love he wanted and the friendship he had?

Enjoyment of each other's companionship? Check.

Empathy with each other? Check.

A desire to put another's needs above his own? Well, Hisao did agree to go bowling instead of brooding as planned, so... Check.

A desire to spend time with each other as opposed anything else? As much as it hurt Hisao to admit it... Check.

Sex? Well...

“Alright fine, so we don't need women. What are guys supposed to do to release when they're not slaying dragons and building pyramids or whatever, just jack off constantly? Or should we just fuck each other?”

“We could.”

“What?!” Hisao's innards flinched, unsure of whether to feel horrified or elated at the proposal. He wasn't quite at the point where he was considering being with a man, but he had arrived at the point where he wondered why he hadn't. With his heart knocked off balance, Hisao continued to play along.

“Isn't that gay?” Hisao asked, seeking justification as much as clarification.

“I'll give you three tries to guess who invented modern sexuality definitions.”

“Uh, Feminists?”

“Bingo. The myth of manly men plowing women and only women is just a ruse made up so Feminazis can have us all to themselves as breeding stock. The ancient Spartans had no problem with man-loving, so why should we? If you want to really stick it to woman-kind, there's no better way than to deny them of you and your glorious man-sausage.”

Hisao had only just noticed that Kenji had been stroking his thigh for some time. He also only just noticed that he didn't mind at all; in fact, he wanted that hand to stay on his thigh and maybe even go elsewhere.

With nothing to lose, Hisao planted his clammy hands on Kenji's cheeks and laid on a wet, penetrating kiss that went so flawlessly it could've been rehearsed. The two manly men swirled their pizza-flavored tongues together in union. It was an epiphany for Hisao. A blanket of old and heavy darkness was lifted off his eyes and he saw the world for not what it was, but what it could be. What he was doing with Kenji wasn't gay, because there was no gay. Love was love and any attempt to define it further merely limited the greatness of its potential.

“Well, if you put it that way,” Kenji coolly said, playing the cool college boy to Hisao's giddy schoolgirl, “let's head back to the dorms.”

Doused in the flames of passion, Hisao dragged an almost startled Kenji back to his room. After so many unnecessary barriers broken, there were only a few taboos to conquer. Hisao and Kenji tore off each other's clothes to reveal assets that without context, meant a whole lot of innocent nothing. At the right place, at the right time, their bodies were delicious treasures.

Hisao's lips bobbed over the veins of Kenji's throbbingly mighty morsel of manliness like he was a professional. The two were a textbook example of the adage that boys know what boys like.

“Damn, man, I've never been with anyone so eager.”

“And I've never been so eager for anything in my life.”

Hisao laid back and offered himself to Kenji. His condition continued to deny Kenji of a stiff rod to toy with, but he could still at least offer a cozy hole for all Kenji had done. It was okay for Hisao to be impotent, because unlike judgmental girls obsessed with appearances, Kenji didn't judge.

Each progressively deeper thrust sent passionate tears into Hisao's eyes. He considered the abrasive pain to be a labor of love. Even then, it was easily drowned out by the ecstasy of truth.

Hisao had spent his teenage years chasing unattainable goals in the wrong direction. All he ever needed was right across his hallway the whole time. No more lying to girls to win favor, no more lying to himself when it came to what he wanted from the world, and no more shoehorning himself into roles defined by a world he did not make.

His body and soul became engorged with lust for Kenji... and Miraculously so was Hisao's long-faltering penis. Even without any direct stimulation, the forgotten monster of arousal returned with a vengeance. His member quivered and twitched as if possessed by a magical enchantment. A burning sensation welled up in Hisao's nether-regions and erupted with a fury not felt since his first foray of self-exploration.

“I love you, Kenji,” Hisao confessed as the juices spurted in powerful jets shaken back and forth by Kenji's pounding.

“I know, man. I love you too.”

-End-

[shimmie]1962[/shimmie]

[Shades of gray]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---




DAMN YOU KOSHER DAAAMMMNNNN YOOOOOOUUUU

I read "No Yuri" and assume it meant a heterosexual relationship... instead i get bromance,,,,

[Swx]

Oh fuck yeah kosher's back-







OH GOD WHAT DID I READ?

[Morph]

Your signature needs an adjustment:

Any given (fe)male in one of Kosher's stories should be considered gay until proven straight.

or:

Everything in one of Kosher's stories should be considered gay until proven straight.

[Mirage_GSM]

Break out the brain bleach - Bacon is back!

[neumanproductions]

I don't know whether to be honored by you dedicating a piece to me Kosher, or well...intuitive to the fact that this fic required me to definitely use that bottle of bleach I had specialy saved for just such an occasion.
And to think it started out so innocent...

“Unf, yeah...” he said to himself while drawing inspiration from the ether of his imagination and memories. His mind's eye was force-fed extrapolated but tantalizing images Emi's taut buttocks, Shizune's juicy breasts, Misha's hopefully hairless but plump vulva, Hanako's ideally proportioned silhouette, Rin's rhythmic undulations, Yuuko's silky soft skin, and Lilly's melodic voice...