Winter writing (xmas story end pg8)

[Devon]

These last two stories are fucking AWESOME. Excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT job!

[chaix]

I was referring to the missing h. if i was missing it there that means I've been missing an h every time I've used her nickname.

[griffon8]

No major confusion, since you're just about breaking up the dialog often enough with narrative. Just to tighten things up in the future, consider incorporating speech into narration like:

Hanako squeaked, quietly disrobed, and said "Well, maybe just this once. I really need the money."

or

"I'd like three beer-battered fried Twinkies, a funnel cake, some chocolate covered bacon, cheesecake nuggets, and a diet soda," requested Emi.

If there was a competition for 'Things Least Likely To Be Said', I think you have two winners there.

[Wan-wanniche]

The Emi fic is pure, undiluted AWESOME. Moar pls? Pretty please? More Emi fic, that is.

[chaix]

Holiday time again, so it's time for another Christmas story. I hope it goes well with most of you.


The sun is bearing down on me, causing the ocean to sparkle and shine like a constantly changing gemstone. I look over at my bikini clad girl-

“Hisao, you can write whatever you want, but it will not have any effect on the weather.” I guess I must have been thinking out loud again. I look outside at the falling snow and I want to retreat back into my creative writing homework. Unfortunately the spell is now broken.

I give a useless glare at the one who interrupted me. ”Thanks Lilly you just ruined my train of thought.” It probably sounds harsher than I feel, but this cold is giving me an edge for some reason. I take a warm cup of tea in both hands to try and defrost my blood. The tea room is apparently on the corner of the school and it is freezing in here!

“Escapism will only work for a short while. When we have to walk back to the dorms...” I’m not sure whether to be hopeful or not about that. There’s always the chance for us to be close on the way back, of course that requires it to be cold enough that it hurts.

I look back at her as she mimics my actions with her own cup. “So now that my mind is on this lovely weather, what are you doing for winter break?”

“Akira is picking me up tomorrow. Our family has a cabin reserved in the mountains.” She smiles at the thought of finally spending time with her family.

“That sounds nice. All four of you up there, probably snowed in until you drive each other crazy.”

“It will just be Akira and I for the week. Our parents couldn’t make it this year. They are having their Christmas in... Canada I believe it was?”

“White Christmases for the whole family. No matter how far apart you are, you can still share the experience of freezing yourselves solid.” She faces me with that expression of both understanding and the desire to tease. I’ve come to enjoy it for some odd reason.

“May I assume you not looking forward to your break?” She’s apparently decided to hold back on the teasing and go for understanding.

“I’ll enjoy it as much as I can. I’m sure the first two days and Christmas will be fine, but they’ll be at work or my mother will be driving me insane for the other days.”

“Oh yes your... mother, how is she?”

I shuffle in my seat to find an answer that isn’t insulting. “She’s... her usual self.” Lilly just nods in response.

“Hisao, may I propose an idea?”

“Go right ahead.”

“Would you like to spend the break with us?”

“Are you prepared to pay the hospital bill?”

She tilts her head slightly to the side “for?”

“You taking me away for Christmas would drive my mother insane. I can’t rule out the possibility of physical torture when she finds out.” She might try to have Lilly’s ‘corrupting influence’ exorcised, or worse.

“I don’t think-” I can tell from her face that the memory of their last encounter just surfaced. “I believe that she is simply happy to see her son.” Nice work on dodging that one.

“Sorry, thanks for the offer though. Sounds like you’ll have a nice time with your sister.”

“We will try, thank you Hisao.”

“Want me to walk you back?”

“I still have some work to do here.”

I get up and lightly touch my finger to her cheek before giving her a quick kiss in the same spot.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow Lilly.”

“Have a nice evening Hisao.”

[Leotrak]

Short and sweet - just the way I like it

[neumanproductions]

It must just be the influence of all the others i've talked to on the forums and every where else but interesting thoughts came to mind when you mentioned that it would only be Akira and Lilly together for break at an excluded cabin. I blaim Kosher for the most part.
Anyways, Leo is right, short and sweet. Nice bit of humor to start out with and giving Hisao's mother such an interesting personality. Though it would be interesting if Hisao had accepted the invite...there I go again.

[Mirage_GSM]

I might be mistaken, but this seems to be a continuation of his previous story, and as such I expect him to still accept the invitation for one reason or another...

[chaix]

Hisao thought it was over too. Shame he really has no say in the matter isn't it?

pt2

I’m waiting for her because the world’s foundation has crumbled. Something happened and I’m not sure why, how or when it happened. All I know is that it’s a sign of the world’s condition deteriorating. Soon pigs will fly, the earth will spin the wrong way, and Rin will make perfect sense to everyone.

“Hello?” a female voice calls out into the room. Since I’ve seen her do this before, I guess she does it every time she opens that door.

“Hey Lilly.”

“Oh, good afternoon Hisao, Is something wrong?” I guess she can hear it in my voice. I hear a hint of something in her voice too, but I don’t recognise it well enough.

I straighten out my thoughts before speaking. “Something horrible must be happening.. My mother said it would be okay if I didn’t spend Christmas with them. I think it might be a sign that the world is ending.”

“Oh.” She blinks a few times before sitting down very calmly. “I am sorry to disappoint you, I asked your mother last night if it would be fine if you were to spend the holidays with us.”

“What form of blackmail did you use?”I know it’s an exaggeration, but in this case I don’t think I can rule it out. convincing my mother to do something she‘s against is difficult at best.

“I did not use such a heavy handed solution. I simply had to make a few concessions.” I don’t want to ask what she gave up, but I need to so I can make it up to her. “Nothing much, her main request was that she would know where we would be.” That was quite the concession.

“Are you sure? You could’ve had a nice quiet Christmas.”

“No, it seemed that it might be lonely with just the two of us.”

“Well then, I guess I have to go now don’t I? Can’t leave you lonely at Christmas, my mother would never let me forget it.”

She tries to look as innocent as possible. “I’m not forcing you to come with us.” That’s one-hundred-per-cent-grade-A bull. On the other hand, its grade A lies from Lilly.

“So where is this place?”

“Not too far, although it may take longer because of the snow.”

“Which way are we going?”

“I’m not sure; I’ve never thought to ask.” Ah well, hope it’s not too far away.

I settle back in my chair and relax. I run down a list of stuff I should probably ask.

“Is Akira picking us up?” “Yes”

“When are we leaving?” “Tomorrow. I asked her to wait to let you pack”

“Until?” “We’ll come back to the school on new year’s eve”

“Any nearby places to shop.” “There is a city nearby.”

“Is that all you needed to know?”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll go prepare.” I look at her and make a quick decision. I opt to move for her right cheek and lightly touch it with my finger. Before I can take it away, she moves it over her lips. I go along with her suggestion before leaving to pack.

[neumanproductions]

I hope to see your continuation of this stroy if it suits you right. This will be an interesting christmas after all/

[Leotrak]

... Oh, joy, such a wonderful christmas time for the Satou sisters, plus one

So, how's mrs. Nakai gonna crash the party?

[chaix]

i'm aiming for 7 parts (including the three that are up) right now, a few days between christmas and new year's will end up getting skipped for your (probable) pleasure.

pt3

It’s not much of a morning. The sky is a solid shade of grey, like someone went and paved the sky. My mind is bordering on the same colour, I haven’t really slept since I started packing and I guess it’s starting to take its toll.

“Hisao? Akira’s here.” Really? I thought she would come in the after- what time is it anyway? Oh 2 p...m, I must’ve stopped paying attention at some point. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah just a little tiii-errrd.” my mouth opens wider than I thought it could. “Just give me a second to check everything.” I go over my suitcase; yeah everything’s there, including my medication. I walk out; turn off the light, then lock the door before following Lilly downstairs.

As we walk toward the gate, Akira steps out of a car and begins waving at us. “Hey you two, having a little get together before we leave?” I blink a few times. You just said that... to your sister.

Lilly must choose not to hear that comment. “Hello Akira. How are you?”

“Just fine, just fine.” She takes her sister’s bag and puts it in the car. “You need help with that?”

“I’m good.” I put my bag in next to Lilly’s. “How long is the drive?”

“At least an hour, maybe longer depending on traffic and the weather. Are you planning on taking a nap?”

“Yeah, I got kinda wrapped up in packing so I didn’t get too much sleep.”

“Uh huh, if that’s what you wanna call it.” I roll my eyes.

“I was packing.” Off to the side I hear the back door open and a rustle as Lilly gets inside. “Oh and don’t try talking about weird stuff while I’m sleeping. I’d rather not wake up and hear something that I don’t want to know.” Akira puts her hand on my head and tries to mess up my hair.

“Got it, no girl talk while you’re asleep.” She gets into the driver’s seat while I get in back. “So Lilly, how often are you two sleeping together?” I know you’re just screwing with me, but I don’t think you need to embarrass your sister at the same time.

(some time later)

My eyes open and I feel something... slightly painful on my cheek. I straighten up and rub my eyes.

“you’re up?” a voice from in front of me tries to break the haze on my mind. Oh right Akira’s driving. ”Have a good nap?”

“I guess. I didn’t say anything in my sleep did I?”

“Uh let’s see: ‘Lilly I love you, please marry me’?”my mind jolts awake as she begins snickering at what I hope was a joke. “Don’t worry, you didn’t even snore.”

“Uh-thanks.” I look over to see what I was sleeping on. “Sorry for using you as a pillow Lilly.”

She nods “do not trouble yourself over it Hisao.” she runs her hand over my cheek, specifically the mark left from my nap. ”Though I do think that you would’ve been more comfortable with a pillow.”

“So how long was I out for?”

“Few hours, traffic was lousy in the city and I’ve been taking it slow ‘cause of the ice.” Her voice hides a slight irritation that I probably wouldn’t have noticed a few months ago. “We’re almost there though, this section of road’s pretty clear and since you’re up...” she presses a button on the dash and it begins playing some English rock song. “Hold on tight...” I can see the reflection of her evil smile on the window.

“Y-you’re not going to do something crazy are you?”

“Of course not, this isn’t crazy-”

“Oh good.”

“I’ve been practicing for months, nothing to worry about.” I feel the colour drain from my face as I hear the engine rev up.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.” I feel my heart speed up, my breathing gets shallower

“KIDDING!” the engine slows down, my heart slows down a little. My mind however, kicks into overdrive

“What the hell?! You could’ve given me a heart attack!”

“Oh come on, the look on your face was priceless.”

“I must agree with Hisao. His heart is quite fragile so I would advise you not to distress him.”

Her expression falls pretty quickly. “R-really? Sorry, sorry I didn’t know.” She’s torn between trying to keep driving and turning around to apologize to me. Every time she turns around though, we swerve just a bit.

“Th-that’s okay nothing happened. P-please just keep driving.” She resumes her focus on driving, to my great relief. The drive goes quietly until Akira finally stops.

“We’re here!”

“We are?”

“Yep, get your stuff and make sure your legs work.” Akira gets out and stretches before opening the door for her sister. I’m left to grab the luggage as they head inside. It doesn’t look extremely impressive on the outside at least. Two stories high, it looks like it’s made of logs, and it has a couple of windows on each side.

“What are you standing around for, come in before you catch a cold!” I follow her inside while dragging three suitcases behind me. It’s bigger on the inside than I thought, nice though. The colour of the wood is makes the place feel comfortable. The surprising thing is that it’s already decorated, tree and all.

“Let me grab those from you.” Akira takes their stuff and places it over by a chair. “Like it?”

“I guess so, think it’s as big as my house.”

“Huh, so which room do you have at home?”

A brief ‘why’ crosses my mind but I put it aside. “ 2nd floor, first room on the right.”

“How about you take that one here too?”

“Sure. Thanks for letting me come.”

“Well it’s kinda hard to refuse your little sister, especially when she uses such flattering language.” She motions for me to head upstairs.

I follow her suggestion and look over the room that I’m supposed to use. It’s simple and calming. I like it. I drop the bag at the foot of the bed and head back downstairs.

“Like the room?” Akira leans back over the couch as I walk down the stairs.

“Yeah, you two come up here every year?” I sit in a nearby chair, much softer than the car seat from before.

She swings her head forward to face me. “For quite awhile now actually, I think we started coming up here when Lilly was about six.” Speaking of Lilly...

“Where is she anyways?”

She stares up at the ceiling. “Oh, she has a little thing that she does whenever she comes up here.” as I get up from the chair Akira stops me with her hand. ”No matter what nice guy instinct is telling you to go after her right now, don’t. Last time I interrupted her she didn’t speak to me until I went on hands and knees.” She chuckles at the memory while I try and visualize it, nah can’t do it. We begin talking about our families respective Christmas habits until we hear the sound of a door from the back.

“I’m back, are you both-” she walks in through a door that I thought was part of the wall.”-getting along?”

“Same as usual Lils. Hisao what time is it?” she points behind her at a clock on the wall.

“That clock says six-thirty, my watch says seven-thirty. Which one is wrong?” Lilly checks her watch and confirms I’m the one who’s wrong.

“That being said, we should probably have dinner. Is there anything you two would like?”

“Anything really, been a while since I’ve had a good meal.”

“I don’t really mind what it is.”

She gets a smile on her face that I feel like I’ve seen before. When she closes the door to the kitchen, Akira gets nervous.“Oookaaayyy Hisao, I’ll be taking my leave for a little while. Thank you for sacrificing yourself.” Sacrificing? Lilly’s cooking is good, better than my mother’s actually.

“Why?”

“Because when both of us say we don’t care, she’ll experiment. Ever had her special curry?”

“Yeah, it was good.” She tilts her head and makes a face that is usually associated with Rin’s company.

“Hang on, we are talking about the one with fish and wasabi right?”

“Yeah, didn’t you like it?” her jaw drops before she lets out a long sigh.

“Wow, last time she experimented with that I ran as soon as I saw what she was using.” I grab her wrist and twist it.

“Ow, hey what’s with-”

I give my best evil smile. “Your cute little sister is making you dinner. You will eat it and you will like it.” I let go and she checks for potential bruising.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a little demon?”

“Nope, just that I’m my mother’s child.” Same thing really, but she doesn’t know that. “You still going to try and run?”

“Nope, I can handle my sister if she gets mad. However you two together might do some kind of wierd torture.”

I open the kitchen door and lean against the frame. “Hey Lilly, if Akira tried to run because she thought the food would be weird, what kind of punishment could we use?”

“Nothing that I wouldn’t use against you.”

“So stripping her down and making her sing children’s songs is acceptable?” I look across to Akira, whose eyes have expanded and she’s visibly shaking. Unfortunately this sight causes me to miss the wooden spoon aimed at my head. ”Ow, I was kidding.”

“Indecent thoughts about Akira are not allowed.”

“So are they still allowed If they're about you? ‘cause-“ the spoon interrupts me before I can finish, I think I actually deserved it though. “Okay, stopping with the jokes now.”

“Really got your little dog on a leash don’t cha Lilly?” Akira suddenly clutches her stomach in apparent pain. That hand was far faster than my eyes could see.

“You will both stay silent until dinner is ready, is that clear?”

“Yes ma’am” we reply in unison. The silence is actually extended through dinner right up until ten. We only broke it for polite conversation. I busied myself with cleaning up and reading. Truth is, we’re both just scared Lilly might grab that spoon again. I opt to head upstairs first; if it’s silent reading, I can do that without the weird atmosphere down here. A few minutes later, my door opens.

" *sigh* Those two, sometimes I feel like I have-“

“Uh- Lilly?”

“H-Hisao? What are you doing in my room?”

“Akira said I could take this one. Is it usually yours?”

“Yes it is.”

I can just see another head of blonde hair moving behind the door. “Oh good, you two have your arrangements worked out, well I’m off-” Lilly grabs her sister before she can try and get away.

“What is the meaning of this Akira?”

“I figured that you two might wake me up trying to sneak around in the middle of the night.” Lilly looks like she wants her wooden spoon back.

“What would make you think that we would-”

“You being with a high school guy is enough of a reason for me.” okay, is that a shot at me? “ Anyway, I’m heading to my room. Sweet dreams you two.” She leaves very calmly. Like someone who is unaware of the damage they might've caused.

“I can use a futon if you have one.” I attempt to give Lilly a way to resolve this quickly.

“No, the bed is large enough for both of us.” You’re actually going to go with her plan?! “But first, change into your sleepwear Hisao. Don’t worry, I won’t look.” She smiles at her own joke before turning around. Funny, even though I know she’s blind it’s still helpful that she’s not facing me.

“I’m done.”

“Good, now just stay still for a moment.” She feels my face a bit before tying a band of cloth over my eyes. “Can you see anything?”

“Absolutely nothing. Why am I getting blindfolded?”

I hear the rustling of cloth before she answers. “Because women spend time taking care of themselves so that seeing their body is a rare and exiting event.” That answer was... not very helpful, though I guess it means that I’m going to be seeing a lot of this thing.

The sound of moving cloth ends and I can feel a hand run from my shoulder and along my back. “It’s about three steps to the bed.” I take two and I end up hitting my shin on the bed half way through the third. “What was-?”

“My steps are a bit longer than yours apparently.” I feel my way around the bed and slip under the covers on the far side.

“My apologies.” I hear footsteps, the heavy cloth moving around as Lilly follows me. “Hisao, could you sleep with your back to mine?”

“Sure, but why?”

“Your arms tend to be... very animated after you fell asleep.”

“I didn’t hit you in my sleep did I?”

“No, but your arms tend to hold me very tightly.” Translation: It’s probably like getting hugged by a large bear.

“Sorry.”

“Good night Hisao”

“Night Lilly.” Her breathing becomes shallower while my mind begins running laps at Emi speed. Must not turn around, must not take blindfold off, must not turn ar...oun..d...

[Leotrak]

Heehee, wonderful reading ^_^

*gets himself a TARDIS...*

[Mirage_GSM]

He fell asleep awfully fast in that situation...
Compared to the VN, Akira's talk is almost refined, but I guess it could be hard writing a longer conversation with her otherwise.

[griffon8]

That sneaky Akira, getting them to have the same bedroom.

Good stuff.

“So are they still allowed If they're about you? ‘cause-“ the spoon interrupts me before I can finish, I think I actually deserved it though.

I think this is my favorite line.

“It’s about three steps to the bed.” I take two and I end up hitting my shin on the bed half way through the third. “What was-?”

“My steps are a bit longer than yours apparently.”

If hers are longer, than it would take more steps for Hisao to reach the bed.