Aww :3darrin wrote:--and I said there is no WAY in HELL I am going anywhere when the guy I love is in there DYING and... ah.. ah ha
ha..."
Constant Companion
Re: Constant Companion
Re: Constant Companion
I thought that was great, I'd love to see more. Misha isn't written about enough, IMO!
Re: Constant Companion
Heheh, I was trying to rationalize it the exact same way. (: I'm mostly torn about her narration of Hisao's writing I think. The pacing of her responses changes around there. It was perfect in the beginning, and it gets back on track around here:darrin wrote:Yeah, I was kinda waffling internally a lot of the time between hoping "but she's under a lot of stress, it's an unusual situation!", and worrying "yeah, but is it too much?" More simply, I guess I was hoping the comedy would win in its battle with the cheesiness; maybe it didn't, but that's what I was hoping for anyway.
(Which is incidentally one of my favorite lines.)Hey hey, not bad, not bad Hicchan! I will have to make you an honorary lefty, you can borrow my scissors if you want! Wahaha!"
If I get really picky, I think she gets agitated some places when it might be more likely for her to be flustered; "stuff like 'His arimi...' dang it, I wrote it down somewhere, yeah here it is" might read better with "umm," in place of dang it. But, that's just related to how I perceive her. In any case, I was also very pleased with the way you included her difficulty with complex words And her little outburst towards Hisao was very good too, exactly the kind of thing that feels in character.
It did sound like Rin and Shizune were overreacting a little. In Shizune's case, only the swearing seemed excessive. I could believe a "damn" or two, but I think she'd limit that kind of thing and act more calmly under stress than most of the girls. I could see her visiting everyone he knew - both to update and even investigate any causes. Rin only felt out of character in that her metaphor (or whatever device she uses) was very recursive, when she usually just says things plainly, if in an off-beat way. So I've gotta correct myself, Misha sounds fine narrating those, Hisao/those two were a wee off. It was basically a complete victory for everything Misha. :3To be honest, I was worried more about getting that response for some of the other girls (Rin, for example)...
- Leotrak
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- Location: Your Mind, Slowly Nibbling away your Sanity
Re: Constant Companion
Well, actually, we haven't seen yet how either would respond to something like this, so who knows how spot-on darrin was hereHalkure wrote:It did sound like Rin and Shizune were overreacting a little. In Shizune's case, only the swearing seemed excessive. I could believe a "damn" or two, but I think she'd limit that kind of thing and act more calmly under stress than most of the girls. I could see her visiting everyone he knew - both to update and even investigate any causes. Rin only felt out of character in that her metaphor (or whatever device she uses) was very recursive, when she usually just says things plainly, if in an off-beat way. So I've gotta correct myself, Misha sounds fine narrating those, Hisao/those two were a wee off. It was basically a complete victory for everything Misha. :3
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune
- Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6148
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Constant Companion
I see someone else found out how easy it is to get on Kenji's path, by trying to pick the IC answer when talking to Lilly...
Anyway good writing. Spot on for Misha, a bit less so for Rin.
I'd love to find this in the game as an easter egg
Anyway good writing. Spot on for Misha, a bit less so for Rin.
I'd love to find this in the game as an easter egg
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
-
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- Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:50 pm
- Location: Idaho
Re: Constant Companion
Good stuff. I liked it.
Rin takes an unexpected lead in the updated polls.
Surprised? a little
Is this unexpected? Have you met Rin:)?
Expect the unexpected. lol
Surprised? a little
Is this unexpected? Have you met Rin:)?
Expect the unexpected. lol
- Shades of gray
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- Location: Those two eyes under that rock, yeah, the ones watching you? Thats me...
Re: Constant Companion
Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:59 pm
Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:08 am
This my friend is called necro-bumping, and is considered rude/Bad/Impolite M'Kay?
having said that, yes it is good, and yes I would like to see more
Sat Jan 08, 2011 5:08 am
This my friend is called necro-bumping, and is considered rude/Bad/Impolite M'Kay?
having said that, yes it is good, and yes I would like to see more
2 kidneys for sale, slightly used, non-functional, no refunds.
Re: Constant Companion
GREAT STORY BRO!!! lol but not kidding I liked it. The "bad" end Kenji route was a bit depressing for me so seeing someone put at least a (maybe not quite positive but at least a not dead spin on it) is nice. I would be interested to see where this narrative would go from here great work.
By reading this you have given me temporary control of you mind
Re: Constant Companion
That was a great story, would have been interesting if that was how you got to Misha's path.
Also a great opening to a great Misha x Hisao fiction.
Also a great opening to a great Misha x Hisao fiction.
Fan Fiction writer's are drug dealers and they don't even know it.
Re: Constant Companion
Since this has already been necro'd... It's a very interesting idea. My urge to write a follow up to this is rising...
Kind Regards, B.
Feeling like your heart is broken? Need to get it off your chest? Tell your story here.
Take a look at Eruta my jRPG under development. New web site since december 2012.
Play Ature, my free and open source indie Atari 2600 action adventure game.
All great love is above pity: for it wants - to create what is loved! -- F. Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
Feeling like your heart is broken? Need to get it off your chest? Tell your story here.
Take a look at Eruta my jRPG under development. New web site since december 2012.
Play Ature, my free and open source indie Atari 2600 action adventure game.
All great love is above pity: for it wants - to create what is loved! -- F. Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra.