Thank God for Hangovers

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Snicket
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Snicket »

Extremist_Line wrote:

Oh, alright.

The game is Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3. It's on the PS2. If you have even a remote interest in JRPGs, I HIGHLY recommend you try it. The story is great, characters are likable, gameplay is solid, and the music is awesome. I just wouldn't recommend you play it if you get squicked out from the idea of people shooting themselves in the head on a regular basis to summon demons (not with a real gun though).

Anyways, the final chapter will most likely be posted later tonight.
Well there is the reason i didn't know, i usually don't play those types of games.

Anyway, scratch my last post. It kinds sounds like I'm being a prick and I wasn't.

Kudos to you going out on a limb and going OC only using the KS setting as a basis. Nice work.
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Quidoo
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Quidoo »

Extremist_Line wrote:
I dunno if you can really call it a 'final chapter', it's more of an epilogue. It's perfectly possible to just end the story right here if you wish. I mainly wrote the epilogue to address the issue that was brought up at the end of the last chapter, and allow the fic to end on a slightly bittersweet note rather than a 'sunshine flowers and rainbows' happy ending.
Right, that makes sense. I'm looking forward to reading it; by no means do I wish to end the story here. :D
Extremist_Line wrote:
Oh? What about him made you think that way?
Ah, there was no rational basis for my reaction, and it wasn't anything to do with your character. I just generally have a negative bias towards unofficial things being brought into official concepts when dealing with fiction. It's pretty childish really.
"Leo Burnett and 4Kids are the devil!"
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neumanproductions
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by neumanproductions »

Extremist_Line wrote:
Also, what game is that? And which console is it on?
Oh, alright.

The game is Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3. It's on the PS2. If you have even a remote interest in JRPGs, I HIGHLY recommend you try it. The story is great, characters are likable, gameplay is solid, and the music is awesome. I just wouldn't recommend you play it if you get squicked out from the idea of people shooting themselves in the head on a regular basis to summon demons (not with a real gun though).

Anyways, the final chapter will most likely be posted later tonight.
Gave it away to early, just got on here to see the pic. And I was correct, I had seen this before. I work at a used game store, Not Gamestop but like it, and get to rent out games all the time for free so I have had my fair share of titles, this being one of them. :mrgreen:
Rin=Hanako>Emi>Misha>Lilly>Shizune (Misha counts in my world alright; and now she surpassed Lilly)
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kosherbacon
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by kosherbacon »

1000th view! Woot. Im glad to see this story got such favorable attention.
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Extremist_Line »

I'm too tired to say much right now. Here's the epilogue. Might say more tomorrow.

Epilogue: I Will Never Forget

Several months later…
*************************************************

The sun was casting a beautiful orange color through the sky as I looked at it. Kinda like one of those picturesque scenes in a movie.

This is it. The last day I would be here at Yamaku.

It was a good year, I had all sorts of fun with my friends, managed to get into shape, got over most of my shyness…

But best of all, I met Hanako Ikezawa.

I have no idea why I’m out here by myself. Why am I not inside having fun with everyone else?

Well, I’m not all that happy.

Tomorrow, I will leave for America. I can’t wait to get back home and see my parents, but…

I wouldn’t be able to see her again. I might not get to see her ever again.

I couldn’t handle that.

I didn’t want to see her, because I knew that seeing her would make we want to stay, make me resentful to leave.

Not like I wasn’t already upset about leaving.

I was on the verge of tears. I just wanted to stay, to be with her, but I knew I had to get home. My parents really wanted to see me again.

Sigh.

I wanted to keep getting lost in thought, but I was interrupted by a soft hand on my shoulder.

“Come on Luke, why are you out here by yourself? You need to get in there and talk with everyone.”

“I…I know.”

She slid in and sat next to me on the bench. I didn’t look at her.

“I know you’re upset about leaving, but we’ll still be in touch. You had to have known when you came here that you would have to leave eventually.”

“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t think I would get attached to everyone so much. Just get in, get educated, and get out. That’s what I was intending.” I looked over at her. “I didn’t intend to meet you.”

She slid her hand over mine.

“Luke, do you remember the promise we made several months ago?”

“That we would never forget each other? No matter what?”

“That’s right. Now, are you going to let me down on that promise? I'm not going to let you down, so can you do the same for me?”

“…Yes.”

She wrapped me in a hug. “Good, I was hoping so.” She broke the hug after a few seconds and reached into her bag and pulled out a small piece of paper “Here, it’s my e-mail address.”

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. As I opened it, I looked at the picture I had taken with Hanako a few weeks ago.

I promise, I will never forget.

I slid the piece of paper into a pocket of the wallet, right next to where my ‘Lucky Condom’ used to be. After putting my wallet back, I slid my hands into my pockets and fiddled with the small box I had in one of them.

“Um, Hanako, I have something for you. Something I want you to remember me by.”

I slid the box out of my pocket and handed it to her.

“Oh, for me? Thanks so much! What is it?”

“Open it and see.”

She slowly opened it, and as soon as it was opened enough for her to see inside, I heard her let out a gasp. I was hoping she’d like it.

It was a necklace. Gold chain, with a butterfly-shaped pendant. The pendant was made up of amethyst stones forming the wings and a diamond for the head. I had picked it out earlier this week. I was considering getting something with emeralds, since that was her birthstone, but the one thing that really stuck out to me about her was the amethyst color of her hair and eyes, so I picked something that really made me think of that. I thought the butterfly design just kind of fit with her for some reason. It took a while to save up all the money to buy that. I had to go around and do some odd jobs for some of the students and teachers and not spend my money on anything, which was hard, because there were several new game releases out within the past few months.

But you can beat a game, then it only becomes so fun to play. Hanako? I hoped that she’d last forever. Even if I never saw her again, I wanted to leave her some kind of memory of me.

“Oh Luke, it’s beautiful!” She said as she gave me a hug and kiss.

“I was hoping you’d like it. I thought the color really matched your eyes.”

“Aw, thanks so much!”

“Just, think of it as something to remember me by. Here, let me help you put it on…” I said as I helped her attach it to her neck. She looked down at it after I had finished, then looked at me and smiled.

“I promise that I will always remember you when I wear it. But…I feel bad, I didn’t get you anything…”

I looped my arm around her back. “Hanako, you’ve done more than enough for me to make it up.”

We spent several minutes staring at the sunset. She laid her head on my shoulder as we watched.

“Hey Luke, you know the graduation dance is coming up in about an hour. Aren’t you gonna come and dance with me?”

“Uh, well…I was going to, but…I can’t really dance…”

She snapped up and looked at me.

“Well, come on! We’ve got a lot of work to do!”

She grabbed my hand and yanked me up out of the bench, leading me off to give some lessons…


****************************************
The next day…

I watched out the window as the familiar line of trees soon gave way to the driveway leading up to my house.

“You can stop here Sammy, I’ll walk from here.” I still was having a bit of trouble getting used to speaking my native tongue again.

“Alright.” He said, as I stepped out of the car with all my bags in hand.

“Thanks for the ride!” I said as I shut the door. He gave me a wave as he drove off.

I walked down the driveway towards the house. As I walked under the carport, I saw one of my cats jump from the swing. She ran over to me and started rubbing up against my legs. I reached down and scratched her ear.

“Aw, I missed you too girl.”

I stood up, walked up to the door, and knocked. It had been almost an entire year since I had seen my parents. I missed them a lot, but there was someone else I was already beginning to miss a lot more…

Soon enough, my mom answered the door and quickly wrapped me in a hug.

“Oh Luke! I missed you so much! I’m so glad you’re home!” She said right before giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s great to see you too mom.”

“Honey! It’s Luke!”

I heard my dad’s recliner chair a room over crash down, then I saw my dad come around the corner.

“Hey buddy!” He said as he too gave me a hug. “How was it?”

“Eh, you could say I had a pretty good time.”

“Well, that’s great to hear.”

“You can just set all your bags there. Come on, we already have supper cooked for you.”

Good old traditional Southern meal: fried chicken, green beans, and some buttered cornbread. It had been quite a while since I ate something like this.

“So, tell us what all happened while you were at Yamaku.”

“Well, there was all sorts of people there. There was a crazy conspiracy theorist, a laugh-happy girl with pink hair, and a timid girl with scars by the name of Hanako Ikezawa.

Let me tell you about them...”
************************************************************
"Anyone can say they're your friend, few can prove it." -Me
Hanako >/= Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Rin
Currently:Finished all but Rin. Taking a break for now.
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ze spy
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by ze spy »

I do like at the end how Hanako spoke normally.
"That weird motherfucker"
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neumanproductions
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by neumanproductions »

Excellent way to end the story. I think there are just two things I would like to draw attention to.

1) I like how you went in depth enough to use facts such as Hanako's birthday to reference the birthstone. (Didn't think I'd catch that did ya)

2)"Where my ‘Lucky Condom’ used to be" :mrgreen:
Rin=Hanako>Emi>Misha>Lilly>Shizune (Misha counts in my world alright; and now she surpassed Lilly)
Fanfic series entitled... A Day in the Life of [character name here] (updated 6/8/10)
Random writings and Crossover... New stuff of Neuman (updated 5/6/11)
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kosherbacon
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by kosherbacon »

neumanproductions wrote:
2)"Where my ‘Lucky Condom’ used to be" :mrgreen:
Word on the street says the "Lucky Condom" is just an inside joke. However, in the context of the story, I'm going with your interpretation of that. :P
Member22...

Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Member22... »

ze spy wrote:I do like at the end how Hanako spoke normally.
Yeah, its a very good sign showing that the writer has put (at least some) thought into imagining how Hanako would be like after a relationship with a guy... its a good element to add for realism (if you know what I mean).

I loved the epilogue, very hard for Luke... I hope they meet again.

Hmmm... How about Shizune's turn?
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Esa94
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Esa94 »

That ending. It's not depressing enough


Well, obviously I'm joking. Good job on the story, looking forward to read more of your works :)
Extremist_Line
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Extremist_Line »

kosherbacon wrote:
neumanproductions wrote:
2)"Where my ‘Lucky Condom’ used to be" :mrgreen:
Word on the street says the "Lucky Condom" is just an inside joke. However, in the context of the story, I'm going with your interpretation of that. :P
Yeah, it's an inside joke. One of my buddies used to carry around one all the time. I made all sorts of little references to real life in the fic, like the name of the guy that gave Luke a ride is the name of another one of my IRL friends (not the same one with the Lucky Condom).
ze spy wrote:I do like at the end how Hanako spoke normally.
Yeah, you may notice that as the story progresses she stutters less and less, to the point where it completely stops in chapter 9. Like Member 22 mentioned, it's done to show that Luke helped bring her out of that, and that she's completely comfortable around him.
Member22... wrote:Hmmm... How about Shizune's turn?
That will be started....eventually. Like I said, I've only got time to work on these during weekends, and my next several weekend are booked. On the plus side, summer is coming up, and you guys are bound to see a huge surge of writing from me during that time.
"Anyone can say they're your friend, few can prove it." -Me
Hanako >/= Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Rin
Currently:Finished all but Rin. Taking a break for now.
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Extremist_Line
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Extremist_Line »

Here's some trivia and production notes for you guys:

-Luke is actually, believe it or not, a self-insert. Well, not a direct one, his history was heavily modified, and his name isn't the same as mine. But just about everything else: physical appearance, personality, attitude, are all pretty much exactly the same as mine. Yes, I am really 6' 5".
-The original concept for Luke (way back before I even wrote up his profile for the fan-character contest) was that he didn't have any problems. His dad would be in the USMC, part of the Third Marine Division's Combat Assault Battalion, and would be transferred to Camp Schwab, Okinawa (all that is real info, by the way). Luke would just find some kind of way to go to Yamaku, my best idea would have been that he was learning to be a doctor or something like that, so he would have transferred to Yamaku to observe the students as well as possibly assisting the nursing staff.
-Luke's history with bullies is based very loosely on real-life events that happened to me. In 2nd grade, a guy transferred into my class, and from the very get-go, always bullied me for some reason. The entire class didn't turn against me, but I was still a little withdrawn. When 8th grade came along, I'd decided that I'd had enough and got into a fight with him. He left the next year.
-I was originally planning on having the story focus more on Luke's interaction with the other students rather than his relationship with Hanako. I was planning on having him meet Emi on the track and find some kind of way to meet Rin. About the time I got to chapters 4 and 5, I decided that, not only was I trying to rush to get through all of the student interaction to get to Hanako (her relationship with Luke was planned from the beginning), but I realized it would most likely drag on too much, so I sped it up a bit and made the story almost exclusively focus on Luke and Hanako.
-The concept of Luke and Hanako sharing a bed even though she says they're just friends is based on a fic for a different game I read several years ago.
-Hanako developed a crush on Luke after he helped her with Shizune and Misha, which was the whole purpose of that scene, and the reason why Hanako is much less shy around Luke in the next several chapters.
-I developed Carpal Tunnel half-way through writing this from a combination of non-stop writing and playing Bad Company 2. I persisted through the pain though.
-Despite the fact that Persona 3 is frequently mentioned by Luke, it turns out that Persona 3 wasn't released in the US in 2007. So, assume that Luke had a Japanese copy and is using an Action Replay to play it on his North American PS2.
-The knife from Chapter 1 was a personal touch, it never ended up playing any kind of role later in the story.
-I deliberately left Chapter 9 hanging with the concept of Luke and Hanako having sex and let the reader decide whether they did or not, but kosherbacon's 'sequel' fic pretty much confirms that they either had sex that night, or sometime within a week or so afterwards.
-Despite Luke being Southern, it's mentioned a few times in the fic (Chapters 4 and 5), he listens to metal as opposed to country.
-I was originally going to expand on the graduation dance and have that part of the chapter end on a more conclusive note, but I couldn't really think of anything to write, so I abandoned it.
-The mention of Akira being 'wild' was taken from one of kosher's fics.
-According to the devs, KS actually takes place in June, meaning I totally screwed up the time-line for the original game here. Just assume that it's in an alternate universe or something where Hisao suffered his heart attack a few months earlier.
-I was considering adding yet ANOTHER shout out to Persona 3 during Chapter 9, where Hanako would mention that she's glad her mother left "In case I scream...", then quickly taking it back, saying she didn't mean anything. One of the possible love interests in Persona 3 says pretty much the same thing, albeit mentioning the other dorm-mates are gone rather than her parent(s). What she means by that is left up to the imaginations of the player. It's not the same girl that says "For this special moment, think only of me..." in case you're wondering.
-I was thinking about naming one of the Chapters "I Remember Me" as a shout-out to Mass Effect, but I liked all the names I was already using.
-Dunno how many of you noticed, but the name of Chapter 8 is also the name of Hanako's theme.

There you go, just a little glimpse into what I was planning as opposed to what did happen.
The first one-shot is already finished. I'll probably post it tonight...maybe.
"Anyone can say they're your friend, few can prove it." -Me
Hanako >/= Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Rin
Currently:Finished all but Rin. Taking a break for now.
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Member22
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Member22 »

Very interesting trivia... its very interesting for the reader (and mostly the writer) to put himself in the KS universe/plot line (whatever you call it). The plot was interesting, character development was thought out... it was awesome, well done, I really liked it!!

As for the Shizune fic... you can take all the time you need... I don't mind waiting at all
"If Hisao took one thing away from his time at Yamaku it was the fact that people who have handicaps don't actually have handicaps. People like Lilly and Shizune are more able-bodied and well-adjusted than most of the kids at Hisao's old high school. He shook his head slightly. No, students at Yamaku weren't handicapped; everyone else was." - WetCrate
Extremist_Line
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by Extremist_Line »

Member22 wrote:Very interesting trivia... its very interesting for the reader (and mostly the writer) to put himself in the KS universe/plot line (whatever you call it). The plot was interesting, character development was thought out... it was awesome, well done, I really liked it!!
At first, I was really nervous about the idea of using a fan-character, much less a self-insert character. It's really not all that original, but it looks like it turned out pretty well.
"Anyone can say they're your friend, few can prove it." -Me
Hanako >/= Lilly > Shizune > Emi > Rin
Currently:Finished all but Rin. Taking a break for now.
http://extremistline.deviantart.com/
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kosherbacon
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Re: Thank God for Hangovers

Post by kosherbacon »

but kosherbacon's 'sequel' fic pretty much confirms that they either had sex that night, or sometime within a week or so afterwards.
Actually, my character just assumed that they've been porking each other since they've been together for a while(my fic starts at some unspecified point after this one does, could be weeks or a couple months.), so it could still be open for interpretation. However, if they're still not knocking boots at the very end of my story, something's wrong. :lol:
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