Katawa Haha

[Goldilurks]

To be quite honest... I have no clue what you should go with.

The reason being that I'm currently the visuals (yes incase anyone else wants to add art to these stories, I won't be the "I DON'T SHARE THE GLORY DAMNIT" artist here. :3), you are the brains.

I'm the brains? This project's in trouble.

I only request that you make things a little easy for me and don't make Lilly's hair more of a pain that it already is. Wavy hair and drill-hair are the two hardest things I see in these stories, not even Emi's prosthetics would give me problems, what with me drawing mechanical limb's all the time. Getting off topic here, but yeah.

Lilly's hair can be short - like, Rin or Shizune short - without any problem. Done.

The only possibilities in my mind would be with Hanako's scar's healing slightly better over time, and perhaps her hair changing slightly if/when she comes to terms with things and comes out of her shell... can't really think of much for Rin to be honest, as I don't want her to chaaange (me and the artsy types, ALWAYS the artsy types, hnnngh)... and LILLY, first thoughts coming to mind are old and gray, oddly. XD I don't have anything to offer though, really, so don't let my stuff have any influence on the writing unless it coincidentally is on a similar path to your thoughts.

Hanako, I already had her visualized with her hair back. Ponytail or bun, not sure which.

I could see Lilly being in Grandmother mode, son/daughter visiting with the grandchild, and perhaps a moment where the parent is doing something with the child that makes Lilly and said parent pause and essentially have Lilly note "You're doing exactly what I used to do with you when you were a child". So essentially, watching the interaction between Lilly and her child using a grandchild as a catalyst.

Now the KS girls as GRANDPARENTS I never thought of. That's a very intriguing idea, though admittedly one that softens their signature character impact (we do implicitly correlate the elderly with disabilities, but not the young so much). I would like to see Katawa Grandma, though, if anyone wants to write it.

Another possiblity is a child still in school comes back with a friend, and from the view of the friend (first visit/meeting of Lilly?) the relationship seems cool and reserved, but by the end of the comic it's clear to them there is very strong bond between them.
Another one could just be a comic of what Lilly does with their child when they come back from school: spending time with them, reading to them, ect and just showing Lilly being very... well. Motherly.

The plot I've planned so far was simply that Lilly greets her daughter when she returns home, and asks her how her day went. They seem like a normal enough parent and child, except that the daughter spends a greater amount of time describing the events of her day visually. This seems routine enough for her age (11 to 12) to make it apparent they've been doing this for years and share a comfortable relationship. I wanted to illustrate in this chapter, through the dialogue and the little things like how her daughter helps in the kitchen, a mother and daughter who have come to terms with blindness and how to live with it. It certainly doesn't make Lilly any less of a mom (she deduces, from the focus her daughter places on him, that the girl has a crush on the new boy who just transferred to class that day).

Going off the dialogue teaser for Hanako, I see the child and Hanako being quite old personally; the child's apparently old enough to understand why they're staring at their mother and that they hate the fact she's being looked at for being different.

6 is what I had in mind, actually. This would be the first time the topic had been broached between them.

Possible scenarios:
1. Hanako is trying to tell the sprog off after they got sent home from school for fighting (or she's had to come in), or just got into trouble. (Probable cause: someone being snarky about Hanako's scars). 5-17? (If you're familier with it, Kenji (Kaji?) from Persona 4 and his mother's relationship. He gets in trouble several times for defending his mother's honour, as he percieves it anyway.)

2. Again with the grandparent thing, elderly Hanako with at least one of her children and (one of) her daughter's grandchild(ren), said grandchild talking to their mother about how everyone keeps staring at granny for some reason. (Presumably Hanako's hit the age/maturity where she just doesn't give a shit what people think anymore. I've met women who's hit the age where they don't care what people think and they can be ludicriously sanguine about things.) Cue flashback comic showing interaction between Hanako and daughter over the same topic when Hanako's in her 30s and her daughter's in the teens?

3. A mature (late teens/early adult) child gets into an argument/drops a caustic remark* at someone while out with mother. Perhaps a shopkeeper in a store, (basically, somewhere public) Hanako not really wanting the confrontation, but the child refusing to back down and the comic shows the aftermath. Perhaps during the argument, Hanako slinked off, and after realising mother's gone the child fires one last barb that can only be described as cruel before we see an argument between mother and child over the child standing up for her (Exploring perhaps what the snarky, cynical Hisao and Stand in Storyteller's originally-wildcat-possibly-fiery**-blood-Hanako would produce, and how Hanako keeps the end result in line/cools it's head?). Could also generate some humour: two very strong willed people that are actually quite similer, and people in the background avoiding it in sheer terror.

*Stand-in Storyteller's threads on 4chan seem to be exploring the idea of a Hanako that may be a shrinking violet, but has claws and a talent of being able to hit where it hurts, so think caustic remarks that make you whince even when they're right and Hanako's in the right.
**No pun intended.

Another idea I probably need to think over a bit more is the idea that she deflects the comment to something like 'they were staring at me because I'm lucky enugh to have such a pretty/handsome little girl/boy' if the child is young.

.....

I spend too much time dissecting Hanako as a character. I regret nothing though, I love character types like her though

Interesting scenarios, may be used for inspiration. I haven't followed the 4chan threads to be honest; I was introduced to KS through TVTropes.org and have never really touched 4Chan.

Rin's chapter may be up as soon as tomorrow night.


EDIT: Damn, it would be much easier to write this if there were a facial expressions sheet for Rin that I could use.

[Loki]

Glad I was some help. (And ponytail, definately ponytail! )

[Goldilurks]

Katawa Haha: Rin’s Chapter

• Page One
  First Panel: We’re looking at two third-grade children from behind their heads as they enter the receiving area of a Japanese suburban home. One is Rin’s son Ken. He’s a short boy with very short hair, in a T-shirt and shorts. He’s just finished taking off his sneakers and putting the indoor slippers on. To his left is Chikako, who has her black hair tied back in a bun with pins through it – looks kind of out of place on a girl her age. The elegance of the pins and the fact that she’s dressed in what looks to be the children’s clothing equivalent of a designer dress indicate a budding fashionista; Ken has befriended the yuppies’ daughter. From this angle we can’t see their faces, though we can see their backpacks. Past the children we get a glimpse of the house interior; there’s a hallway with a lot of hung artwork and, oddly enough, quite a few empty tables (each about three feet apart), although a few have sculptures on them. I saw this panel as taking up the top third of the page; wide but short.
  Ken: “I’m home! Welcome to my house, Chikako; it’s smaller than your place but I hope you find it welcome.”
  Chikako: “Oh, it’s all right. The décor’s actually rather cool. Did your mom do these pieces?”
  Second Panel: We get to see them from head on as the perspective switches to the end of the hallway we were looking down before. Now we get to see the door and receiving area as the two kids walk down the hallways towards our viewpoint. Ken’s face is kind of square, his hair is almost buzzcut short and he’s got a wicked widow’s arch, but you can see Rin’s eyes on him clearly. Chikako has a face that can only be described as delicate, and right now its expression is rather aloof.
  Ken: “No, she likes to pick up a lot of stuff done by the local circles here. By the way, thanks again for coming to help with the project.”
  Chikako: “We’re teammates, and I do want to get a good mark on this. You remember to pull your weight, all right?”
  Third Panel: Close up on the upper right corner of an easel. The painting upon it appears to contain a staircase at an impossible angle and perspective, drawn in little blotches of paint rather than straight lines and filled spaces. Kind of M. C. Escher by way of Vincent Van Gogh. The wall behind the easel has a number of half-completed and blank easels hung on or just stacked on the floor.
  Ken: *whispering* “Yes, I will, I promise.”
  Chikako: “Hmm? Why are you whispering? There’s no one else here.”
  Fourth Panel: Close up on a foot (wild guess whose it is). There is a tiny sponge held tightly between the big toe and “index toe”, and the owner of the foot is dipping that sponge into the gold paint in a series of paint-filled bowls.
  Ken: *still whispering* “That no one answered means either no one’s home or Mom is really into her work right now. It’s safest to check first.”
• Page Two
  First Panel: And more of adult Rin; she’s visible from the neck down in this page. She’s sitting on what looks to be a three-legged stool and painting on an easel with the sponge we saw last panel. I’ll leave it to the artist to decide how much of the painting is visible and completed. She’s on the right side of the panel, and to her left in the panel foreground we can see the table the paint sits on. Among the bowls are other little chunks of sponge she’s presumably used for other colors she didn’t want to mix. Rin’s wearing a ratty white t-shirt and ragged baggy shorts. The shorts actually lack a button, but are tied with a length of rope with a simple knot; it’s clearly something she could put on, fasten, and take off independently. The clothes are covered in paint and torn as hell. They’re her disposable work clothes. The arm stumps are clearly visible, although I am not sure if the bra should be. I’ll leave that to artist’s discretion; she’s probably wearing a sports bra or something with similar support to keep those out of her way while she paints. In the background, Ken and Chikako are peering around the corner of the door to her studio, which has been left slightly open. Feeling sheepish Chikako? You should, for talking so loud. Fortunately for her, either Rin has not noticed the kids or is ignoring them completely. What we can see of the floor is covered in a tarp (splotched with paint, of course) and by the door is a bucket with a rag hanging out of it and a pair of straw sandals. Rin’s organized enough to keep from getting the rest of the house dirty after she works; everything we’ve seen so far hints to someone pragmatic, if not linear in thought. As in the hallway, there are empty tables scattered around the room at short intervals.
  Ken: *moar whispering lol* “Bingo.”
  Second Panel: We see Chikako and Ken tiptoeing down the hallway away from the studio. Looking at them head on gives us a good look of Chikako’s apologetic look, while Ken just waves the apology away. He seems like an awfully polite little kid. They’re holding their backpacks rather than wearing them, to make less noise. This hallway also has an abundance of regularly-spaced empty tables.
  Chikako: *turn that down to 0.11* “Sorry, sorry! I hope I didn’t distract her.”
  Third Panel: Time to see Mama Rin’s face, close-up. She’s still painting, with a very focused expression on her face and her head cocked just a little to her left. There’s a blotch of paint or two on her face. She’s kept her hair short (she looks older, of course, but that’s a given). In the background we can see more easels and what looks to be a desk with project sketches on it. (For inside joke win, we could make them panel sketches of the other Katawa Haha strips, although that’s more detail than I’d demand from the artists).
  Ken, off-panel: *ssshh* “No, it’s okay, really. She looked completely into it.”
  Fourth Panel: Chikako and Ken are entering Ken’s room. I was thinking perhaps a bird’s eye view. Ken’s already slinging his pack on and throwing paper sheets and poster board onto his desk. Notable in that this is the first room in the house we’ve seen without a lot of empty tables; Ken’s nighttable is crowded and there’s only one empty table, smaller than the others, by his door.
  Ken: “There. She won’t hear us up here, so no worries. I’ve got most of the materials and notes there on my desk already.”
  Chikako: “How long have you been preparing for this anyways?”
  Fifth Panel: Close-up on some of the notes and posterboard on Ken’s desk. The notes are sparse and the posterboard empty. This’ll be a relatively small panel in size.
  Ken: “Started yesterday.”
  Chikako: “…go figure.”
  Sixth Panel: Identical to the previous panel is size and perspective, except that now the notes have a bunch of additions scribbled into the margins, and the posterboard seems to have what looks like part of a history presentation on it. I was thinking maybe pre-Sengoku Jigai Japan or Han Dynasty China for the presentation topic, but it doesn’t matter; having some sort of timeline and/or map visible would be plenty. The real objective of this panel is, of course, just to show that time has passed.
  Ken: “Whew. I think we’ve done enough for one day.”
• Page Three
  First Panel: Chikako is leaning back on the chair Ken has at his desk, while Ken is sitting on the bed going through a little pile of notes in front of him. I’m thinking a perspective that’s level with their heads, but the important thing is that we can see the door to the room. Chikako was saying something, but she’s looking at the door and the mother who interrupted her behind it.
  Chikako: “Yeah, it’s getting close to the time I should go - ?”
  Sound Effect: “Knock knock”
  Rin: “Excuse me.”
  Second Panel: Head-to-toe look of Rin as Ken answers the door. She’s still in the same clothes we saw her painting in, but has apparently had the chance to wash up; no paint stains on her face or below her knees, and she’s wearing the indoor straw sandals we saw earlier. She’s got the “neutral Rin” face on, where it’s clear that she’s looking straight at you (in this case Ken) and that she’s listening to you, but you can’t shake the feeling that you’re not on the same topic of conversation. Ken should be partially visible in the foreground, though we likely can’t see his face.
  Rin: “I thought you two might be getting thirsty by now. I made some iced tea in the kitchen.”
  Ken: “That’s great! We’re just finishing. C’mon in, Mom, and you can meet Chikako.”
  Third Panel: Another bird’s eye view, I think, as Ken introduces his mother to his classmate. Chikako is visibly trying not to stare at Rin’s stumps as she bows. Rin’s smaller bow is considerably more relaxed and casual.
  Ken: “This is Chikako Maeda. She’s in my class. Chikako, meet my mom.”
  Chikako: “Pleased to meet you, ma’am.”
  Rin: “Same back at you. Feel free to just call me Rin.”
  (Author’s note: artists should feel free to adjust the suggested perspective or add whatever devices are needed to illustrate Chikako’s difficulty. Go ahead and draw little dotted line arrows from Chikako’s eyes to the stumps, or give her a thought bubble saying “Don’t stare!” if you feel like. The appropriateness of such additions will depend heavily on your style for the rest of the comic, and thus I leave it to the individual artist.)
  Fourth Panel: Rin turns to Ken and deadpans something that elicits quite the reaction from the two kids. Both are shocked, but not really embarrassed. Just weirded out that an adult would say this; they’re a bit young to be embarrassed by the subject matter. Ken also seems to handle it better than Chikako; he’s probably used to his mother making such statements.
  Rin: “This is the first classmate you've brought home, Ken-chan. A momentous occasion. You're not planning to marry her, are you?”
  Ken: “MOM! We’re EIGHT YEARS OLD!”
• Page Four
  First Panel: Remember that posture Rin uses throughout Katawa Shoujo? Where she tilts her head to one side but shifts her weight in the opposite direction? She hasn’t lost it. Rin is facing Ken (who is sweatdropping more than a little bit) as she speaks. Our perspective sits behind Chikako’s head and a bit off to the side, so we can see her watching mother and son talk. She’s glancing at Rin’s stumps again.
  Rin: “I hear kids are starting younger and younger these days. I can never tell. They must have exaggerated.”
  Ken: “I don’t think ‘they’ messed that up, Mom.”
  Second Panel: Same as last panel except for facial expressions; there’s embarrassed shock on Chikako’s and Ken’s faces, and Rin is looking at Chikako as though she’s just noticed something. Looks like someone’s stump-gazing didn’t go unnoticed.
  Rin: “Hmm?”
  Third Panel: Same as the last panel, with just a few more changes to facial expression. Ken and Chikako are nervous and embarrassed; Ken’s trying to look apologetic while Chikako is sweating under the focus of attention. Rin is looking her up and down; and while her face is neutral her eyes have narrowed a bit (remember her eyelids from such famous lines as ‘The problem must be in your pants’), so it’s hard to tell if she’s displeased or not.
  Ken: “Err…eh…”
  Rin: “Say, Chikako.”
  Chikako: “Y-yes?”
  Fourth Panel: We get a side view of Rin and Chikako, with Ken in the background. Rin’s face is still neutral, but there’s more than a hint of curiosity in it. The kids are relieved and surprised. The tension should be gone in this strip.
  Rin: “That’s some nice threads. You make them work well.”
  Chikako: “Oh! Why, why thank you!”
  Fifth Panel: Head to waist view of Chikako, instinctively posing as if for a camera. All the worry is gone from her face; she obviously enjoys this subject of conversation.
  Chikako: “This combination is something my mom picked up when she went to New York -”
  Sixth Panel: Identical to the previous panel. All that changes are the captions, most of which represent Rin’s thoughts.
  Caption above everything: THE RIN EXPERIENCE
  Chikako: “-and went on a shopping spree at blah blah blah blah blah”
  Caption by her top: This color reminds me of the sunset I saw when I went on that huge bender back in college. I should definitely work it into my next piece.
  Caption by her hair: It looks like a dead insect from the future. I like it. More girls her age could stand to experiment with their hair in such a manner.
  Caption by her bracelet: Shiny!
• Page Five
  First Panel: Close-up on a smiling Rin’s face. Despite not really listening to her, Rin has decided that this girl is all right.
  Rin: “That’s quite nice. Will you tell me more over that iced tea I mentioned?”
  Second Panel: Chikako looks pensive, glancing between her watch and Rin. Rin appears to be actually listening to her for the moment, while Ken (who is behind them putting the stuff they’ve been working on back into their respective schoolbags) raises his hand in suggestion.
  Chikako: “Umm…well…”
  Rin: “Oh, your parents want you to get home while it’s still light outside, don’t they?”
  Chikako: “I guess I can stay for one glass.”
  Ken: “We’ll be quick. Mom, I can grab the tea from the kitchen.”
  Third Panel: Rin is striding down the hallway in front of Ken’s room. Her sandals are now tucked into her rope-belt. She’s also moving ahead of Ken and Chikako, who are exiting Ken’s room at the moment; that she’s gone barefoot, stored the sandals, and still ends up in front of them should imply a speed and fluidity of movement that calls into question just how ‘disabled’ she is.
  Rin: “You can fetch the glasses, Ken.”
  Ken: “But Mom, I -”
  Fourth Panel: We see Rin moving the jug of iced tea from table to table down a hallway, revealing their purpose: by providing a series of flat surfaces spaced closely together, these tables in her house serve as Rin’s arms. This takes place in some part of the house between the kitchen and the porch or dining room; it doesn’t matter exactly where. Illustrating this movement is going to be tricky and may demand that we split this into multiple panels. The exact order I had in mind was as follows.
  Step 1: Standing between two tables on her left foot, Rin uses her right foot to move the jug (holding it by the handle) from one table to the next.
  Step 2: Rin hops on her right foot to a point between that table and the next table in the direction she wants to go.
  Step 3: Now standing on her right foot, Rin repeats step 1 using her left foot to hold the jug by the handle this time.
  Step 4: Rin hopes onto her left foot to the next point between tables and turns to bring her right foot to the jug, allowing her to return to step 1.
  This would involve her turning around a lot, but would let her maintain momentum easily. There’s a balance and elegance to her movement that show she’s practiced it a lot, and has not lost any of her flexibility with age. Ken and Chikako are following behind her. Chikako is quite impressed, whilst Ken (who has three glasses in his arms) looks like he feels bad about not helping his mother there. If the movement is illustrated by drawing Rin in multiple frames of motion within the same panel, then drawing Ken in only one frame of motion will make it clear how much faster than him she is capable of moving. I am amenable to alternative modes of transportation (such as Rin expertly balancing the jug on her head) if the artist feels my initial suggestion is too much. Note on detail: I don’t know if Chikako should be carrying her backpack with her or if it’s assumed she’s dropped it off at the entrance; I’ll leave it to the artist to decide the layout of the house and whether or not they want to include this.
  Ken’s Thoughts: (Aw man, I forgot how fast she can do that.)
• Page Six
  First, Second, and Third Panels: The way these are laid out, the following speech captions don’t need to match to any specific panel. They’re meant to show the passage of time and Chikako’s eventual departure. You can even place them between panels if you wish.
  First Panel: Close-up on three empty glasses, sitting on a table.
  Second Panel: Chikako is bowing to Rin and Ken.
  Third Panel: Chikako is waving goodbye as she leaves through the front door, backpack on a shoulder.
  Chikako: “Thank you very much, Mrs. Rin.”
  Rin: “Just Rin, really. It was good having you.”
  Ken: “Yeah! Wanna come and finish the project next weekend?”
  Chikako: “You’re just saying that so you can forget about it for the rest of the week.”
  Rin: “Ouch. A direct hit.”
  Ken: “Mom, why are you taking her side?”
  Rin: “It would be nice to have you back, though. Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?”
  Chikako: “No, I’m pretty close. I’ll be fine. See you at school, Ken!”
  Fourth Panel: Ken and Rin are in the kitchen. Ken’s putting the glasses in the dishwasher, while Rin is at the sink washing the jug that held the iced tea. Yes, she’s standing on one foot (sandal is on it it, other sandal is on the floor) with her other foot holding the sink towel. Did we mention flexible? She’s focused on that task, while Ken is looking at her.
  Ken: “Umm…Mom?”
  Rin: “Yes?”
  Ken: “I’m sorry about earlier.”
  Fifth Panel: Rin turns to look curiously at Ken, who looks away. While the previous panel needed to show more of the kitchen, this one can have a tighter angle with Ken’s face in the foreground and Rin’s in the background.
  Rin: “About what?”
  Ken: “When I wanted to take the jug…I was acting like you couldn’t do that. I didn’t…didn’t wanna remind you of anything you couldn’t do…”
• Page Seven
  First Panel: Rin is still looking at Ken as though she’s waiting for him to make his point. Ken’s still looking away.
  Second Panel: As previous panel, but Rin is speaking. Ken turns back to her, surprised.
  Rin: “Why do you feel like you have to say sorry again?”
  Ken: “I didn’t…make you feel bad?”
  Third Panel: Rin is shrugging and looking upwards. It appears as though she’s contemplating some weird abstract problem, rather than a fact she faces every day of her life.
  Rin: “So you realize there’s some stuff that I can’t do. I guess you’re right. There’s a lot of people out there with arms, and I suppose they can do stuff I can’t.”
  Fourth Panel: This larger panel should be the center of attention on this page. It’s a close up on Ken’s head, which currently has a foot resting on it. He’s astonished; he wasn’t expecting the physical contact.
  Rin: “But almost none of those people with arms have a son like you.”
  Fifth Panel: We see Rin’s foot resting on Ken’s head in the foreground, and the rest of Rin visible over Ken in the background. She’s smiling and patting him on the head affectionately, like any normal mother with hands would do.
  Rin: “I think I got the better end of the deal.”
  Sixth Panel: A slightly embarrassed Ken shrugs out from under Rin’s foot; he’s still an eight-year-old boy.
  Ken: “Mom!”
  Rin: “Now start the dishwasher. I’d like to have it empty by the time supper’s ready.”
  Ken: “…yes, Mom.”
• Omake Yonkoma
  First Panel: Chikako and Ken are lounging in the living room of Ken’s house. They're in middle school now, from how they’ve grown and the uniforms they wear (not that a dress code deters Chikako from doing something fancy with her hair). Rin has just walked into the room. She looks visibly uncomfortable and faces Chikako, pleadingly.
  Rin: “Chikako, could you help me for a moment?”
  Chikako: “Sure.”
  Ken: “I’ve got it, Chikako. What do you need, Mom?”
  Second Panel: As above, except the conversation is becoming a bit more agitated. Rin seems to be getting quite annoyed. Chikako appears conciliatory.
  Rin: “No, you can’t help me. Has to be her.”
  Ken: “What? I can get it, really! She’s our guest.”
  Chikako: “I’ve visited you guys regularly for years now, Ken. It’s okay.”
  Third Panel: As above, and now Rin has closed her eyes. She’s decided to let him have it.
  Ken: “C’mon Mom, why can’t I help you?”
  Rin: “Ken, you might not want to hear this or maybe you do, I don’t know, but…” [Carry the speech as long as you feel is necessary given the space your panel allows. You should recognize the lines from Rin’s Act I ending, and yes she is about to say what you think she is about to say.]
  Fourth Panel: Chikako and Ken are walking down a school hallway. They’re both red-faced, and there is a visible distance and silence between them. An anonymous classmate in the background looks on, puzzled.
  Anonymous Classmate’s Thoughts: (WTF? Those two have been avoiding each other all week…)

Author's Notes: This is a longer and more detailed one. It kind of worries me how much I'm enjoying humour at the expense of embarrassed youth, particularly when I'm still young enough to remember what it was like on the receiving end. And the event alluded to in the omake is about the most mortifying thing I could imagine happening to Rin's adolescent son.
Can't decide on whether to do Lilly's or Hanako's next. Both are chock full of d'awwww. Hanako's will cover an interesting characterization and a critical point in the child's development, whereas Lilly's is a more clearly defined story that'd be simpler and easier to write (and the planned Lilly omake is, imho, the funniest of them all).
Also came up with an idea for a Kenji KH omake chapter.

[Akira]

Also came up with an idea for a Kenji KH omake chapter.

I'm trying to figure out exactly HOW Kenji would become a father. Hard to imagine him letting a woman get that close to him without thinking she was going to stab him in his sleep, lol.
Still, maybe if he got drunk... Or stoned... Or both!

Enjoying these so far though. Nice one!

[El Jay]

Third Panel:
Rin: “Ken, you might not want to hear this or maybe you do, I don’t know, but…”

I fucking love you SO much, no homo.

Also I feel like a dipshit, I got so caught up with crap that I've been neglecting page three and so forth. Frazzum. Believe I'll sketch up something quick tomorrow and get back to it. Recently 'obtained' photoshop too, so I have something a bit better for the job. Now to get better with it. ONWARDS!

[Goldilurks]

I'm gonna take a little break from Katawa Haha.

DO NOT PANIC. Sit the hell down. Relax. You breathing steady now? Good.

I've tried to bring myself to write more KH recently, and it's feeling mighty forced. This has happened to me before. It's usually my mind's way of telling me to move to a different project temporarily. Hell, I started on KH because I was blocked on another project.

So I'm just going to take a short break. No worries; I intend to have my next chapter finished before October starts, and I'd like to wrap up the last main chapter and do an omake or two by Halloween. It'll give the artists some time to catch up. It'll also give you all some time to vote on whether I should do Lilly's or Hanako's chapter next. Voice your vote now!

[Ozymil]

HanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanako

I think I speak for everyone here.

Also, I didn't review your Rin chapter! I'm such a scoundrel! Right then; I found it to focus more on Rin's child than Rin herself as a mother. Sure, she's there, and she and her son have that moment at the end, but it doesn't really illustrate Rin and how she's changed. In fact, one could say that you've essentially ripped Rin as she was in the VN and pasted her into your story.

I'm sorry if that came off as overtly brunt and scathing, but what I'm trying to say is that it revolved more around Rin's son and didn't flesh out Rin that well. Not to say it didn't have its good points: Rin is always a joy to read, and I can understand that trying to write her dialogue and character would be a difficult process taking into account the kind of person she is. I just didn't enjoy this as much as, say, your Shizune chapter.

[El Jay]

I'm gonna take a little break from Katawa Haha.

Do it. Don't force this stuff out, take some time, relax. TAKE IT EASY~ It WILL give me time to catch up on/finish up Shizune's pages, yeah, so just slow your roll buddy.

HanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanakoHanako

I think I speak for everyone here.

Fuck yeeeeeah. I wanna see how things play out in your mind for good ole' burn-girl here. :3

[El Jay]

Alright guys, I finally beat myself up over putting off my little duties enough recently, so I finished up a little test of what I may do for page three. VALVE TIME STRIKES AGAIN. So, no, nothing is close to finished, but I do REALLY to hear want what you guys think, as I'm stuck with how to go on a few things.

Alright, first, this is absolute shit, so before you focus on things like anatomy and such, unless its something like a forearm that's out of wack, don't worry, it isn't staying that way. But feel free to toss out some ideas on hand positioning and any ideas for how the hands should look in mid-sign. (This is one of the main issues I'm having. Nothing looks great in mind, so I'll go with an idea that I can work around. :/)

Second, the 'speech' bubbles. I'm thinking of using that font or something similar for the text, but one thought that crossed my mind was "If I'm doing this in monochrome, just black words with no bubble or anything to contain them would be iffy, and if colored, the hell am I going to do other than a filled selection with a 50 percent opacity?" This is the other main problem. What I have is basically... just something I whipped up quick. Speech bubbles don't seem right, as neither of them are actually talking, and I don't want something too complicated, though if it would fit the situation, I'd use it. So, here it is. Give me some suggestions on what to do with their conversation, on their hands, and maybe Hisao's hair. (had to fight the urge to scar the bastard up, that hairstyle he has reminds me of how I used to draw the one character of mine, and he's a walking corpse with scars and stitches all over. >_<) If it sounds like it's something I think I can do, I'll give it a shot. Also, this is going to be my first real drawing I'll have done in CS4, so I can try new things with this too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to drag myself away from the internets before I get hooked on playing either Deus Ex or TF2, and watching the HELL out of some Let's Play's, Cowboy Bebop, and K-On!.

[darkblade986]

"What's eatting you?"

First off, quick proofread of that; very last statement, it's 1 "t" in "eating."

Secondly, I'd say you should finalize all the details of the picture itself, then consider the speech bubbles. Leave holes for where you'll put the bubbles and decide how you'll format them later. Either that, or a more finalized looking picture should help some of the less artistically-inclined of us to see how the picture is turning out and what changes should be made.


Third, in a technical sense, the baby is eating her.

[ZystraL]

Suggestion - put words in Speech Marks inside those little narrative boxes like they do in Comics. Easier to separate and crap.

[El Jay]

Suggestion - put words in Speech Marks inside those little narrative boxes like they do in Comics. Easier to separate and crap.

THAT'S what I was trying to remember last night. I haven't read a comic in so damn long I forgot simple shit like that. D:

"What's eatting you?"

First off, quick proofread of that; very last statement, it's 1 "t" in "eating."

Secondly, I'd say you should finalize all the details of the picture itself, then consider the speech bubbles. Leave holes for where you'll put the bubbles and decide how you'll format them later. Either that, or a more finalized looking picture should help some of the less artistically-inclined of us to see how the picture is turning out and what changes should be made.


Third, in a technical sense, the baby is eating her.

Thought something was off grammatically. Didn't care enough to check. Hurrr. :V And yeah, I was considering actually finishing all the line work last night, but I noticed it was almost 3 AM when I was just about done with that turd of a sketch. It's a thought though. Maybe I'll just get the lines done, save a copy, and put it in another post for you guys to help with where to put the speech at. Bottom for Hisao and top for Shizune is just the first thought that popped into my head, so it's not the best really.

Also,

Third, in a technical sense, the baby is eating her. :mrgreen;

Dohohoho.

[ZystraL]

Another suggestion - colour the narrative boxes.
Of course, if you're not planning on colouring this, then perhaps just write the name of the speaker.

[Ozymil]

Diggin' Shizune's design and facial expressions! Hisao's not so much. He kinda seems like a genderbent Ritsu, if I may be so bold as to state my brutish opinion. His sign language also seems to resemble the squeeing of teenage fangirls... that, or a fumbled Hadouken or close-fisted Jazz Hands.

Other than Hisao, I'm loving your drawings. Shizune also seems to be more... well, Shizune-ish in this particular page. It might be the face, the hair, or the fat-trim; whatever it is, please keep it up!

[El Jay]

Another suggestion - colour the narrative boxes.
Of course, if you're not planning on colouring this, then perhaps just write the name of the speaker.

Coloring is in my mind. Whether it works right or not, that remains to be seen. :>

Diggin' Shizune's design and facial expressions! Hisao's not so much. He kinda seems like a genderbent Ritsu, if I may be so bold as to state my brutish opinion. His sign language also seems to resemble the squeeing of teenage fangirls... that, or a fumbled Hadouken or close-fisted Jazz Hands.

Other than Hisao, I'm loving your drawings. Shizune also seems to be more... well, Shizune-ish in this particular page. It might be the face, the hair, or the fat-trim; whatever it is, please keep it up!

Hah, well, Hisao... yeah, I'm not entirely happy either. I'll just wig his hair out something fierce. His sleep has been interupted for a while now, making him look beat might just do it. And HANDS, yeah, I'm just going to find a decent pair of hand motion used in sign and base it off that, forget it. Panel one's sign is more or less right though, it's for "Go to sleep", go figure. :K

Last but not least, I ACTUALLY practiced drawing an anime-ish style for a change between page 2 and this, so I'm a little happier with Shizune's apperance, and another reason she looks more herself might just be the fact that she's got the angry-eyes going. And drawing a night-gown is less akward now.

Anyhow, thanks guys, I get a general idea of which way to go with this page now. As always, even with the lines done, don't hesitate to chip in your thoughts. Thanks to having a tablet, once it's inked, I can always go back and modify.