I don’t really have too much of an excuse for taking this long to update, but life has been a whirlwind that’s involved me moving twice, switching careers entirely, and finally getting access to resources and help that I’ve desperately needed.
Things are finally on the upswing again, and hopefully they’ll stay that way for a while.
Probably the biggest thing that happened in the last year and a half was that, well…I got engaged. When I first downloaded this VN ten years ago, I never could have imagined the ways it would change my life, and still continues to do so. My fiancee and I met because of this game, and it definitely made me go back and rewrite this a few times.
I also was really inspired when I found KyleDaBoss' project of Stories Beyond, and adapting LtF as the first story to be included. I wasn't even aware of it until after the demo/Act 1 came out, and it was absolutely surreal; to see my writing inspired by a game be put back into that game format to be played...it's a really strange feeling of happiness as a creator that I've never had before.
And speaking of ten years, there’s only a few more weeks until the ten year anniversary of me starting Learning to Fly. I’ve set a goal for myself to complete the story on or by that date, with a big piece of commissioned art either dropping on that day or soon after.
There’s only one chapter left, and I’m both scared of and looking forward to writing it. I haven’t stuck with anything this long, much less finished something, but I’m ready for that next step.
Thanks for putting up with me all these years; I greatly appreciate it, and am looking forward to bringing it home. And I’ll admit…it’s pretty heartwarming to see the old CSS forum style back!
The song for this chapter is Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls. It tops out around 7k words.
Hard to believe all that’s left is another 10k or so…although I do have a two or three chapter epilogue planned - Ideally, one chapter set a few months after graduation, one set a year or two after, and finally one set ten years in the future.
Enjoy!
Act 4: Liftoff
Scene 13: Slide
Once the words are out, it’s really hard to figure out any other way to move forward…but that’s not as reassuring as I thought it would be.
“Is everything okay?” she asks me, her voice equal parts confused and concerned.
“Yeah, it is. Well, almost,” I answer, faltering about halfway through the statement. It doesn’t look like my attempt to ease into this conversation is going to do much to blunt it. With a deep breath of resignation, I try to calm down. It doesn’t work completely, but I’m getting a slightly better handle on myself.
“Should I be worried…?”
Saki is most definitely concerned now.
“I need to invoke the rom-com clause,” I manage to get out.
“Rom-com clause? What’s the rom-com clause?” Saki asks, twisting a bit so her body is facing more in my direction. We come apart slightly, but I still keep my hands on her shoulders as I give a slight smile.
“You know how in every romantic comedy, there’s usually a big misunderstanding, and that it can all be avoided with five minutes of communication?”
More confused than ever, she squints. “O…kay?”
“When someone invokes the rom-com clause, it means they get five minutes to explain themselves.” I finish, trying to seem more confident in that statement than I really am. I can already tell that Saki’s not going to buy it completely from the way an eyebrow goes up, but hopefully she’ll understand what I’m trying to get at…and then she smiles.
“That might just be one of the corniest things I’ve ever heard,” she laughs.
“Hey, blame my dad. He’s the one that pointed it out to me.”
Saki gets an incredulous look on her face. “And that works with your family?”
“So far,” I say, reminiscing. “They have to be doing something right. I know there were times I wasn’t the easiest to deal with, even when it wasn’t my fault. I kind of resented them when I first came here for that very reason.”
“Why’s that?”
“The two of them would always tackle problems together. It was never the two of them against each other; it was always the two of them against the problem. Unfortunately,” I grumble, “I ended up being a pretty big problem when I had my heart attack.”
“Hisao…”
“The two of them basically decided to ship me up here. I didn’t have a choice. If I really tried to fight it, they probably would have let me go back to my old school, but they had already filled out the paperwork and taken care of everything by the time they even tried to speak to me about it."
“I see,” she responds, her voice hushed. “This…really means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it does,” I say, squeezing her shoulders.
After a few seconds, she steps up to me, closing the distance between us until my arms can link around her shoulders.
“Do you ever regret it?” she asks. “Your attack? Yamaku? Any of it?”
“Not in the way I used to.”
She pivots her head to look up at me. “What do you mean by that?”
I take another deep breath and let it out slowly. “I never would have ended up here by choice. I don’t think anyone here would. I regret that I have a heart defect. I regret that I had a heart attack. I regret that I’ll have to keep on top of it for the rest of my life. But…life doesn’t care if we have regrets about the way it turns out or not. It keeps moving forward. You showed me that. Chisato and Noriko showed me that. Nearly everyone here at the entire school has shown me that.”
I think back over the past year, and how hard it was to break out of that self-pitying cycle for the first few months of it. It’s been a while since I looked back on this part of my life to examine it as the person I am now compared to who I was back then; my words have more truth to them than I realize until I say them out loud.
And yet, it feels good in a way to let it out. Every time I retrod that ground, I gain a new perspective on it.
“You taught me to come to peace with the things I can’t change, because life isn’t going to do it for me. And because of that, when I do move forward, I can be proud of it.”
Saki doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, contemplating my words as her eyes search mine. When she finally does speak again, she’s more curious than apprehensive.
“When did you start to see things that way?”
“It’s strange,” I say. “It didn’t happen overnight, but looking back, I can tell you where it started.”
“Yeah?”
“The festival, the first week of school.”
She grins at that. “You picked up on things pretty quick.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t just the festival. It was something you said to me. You were the first one who told me it was okay to feel sorry for myself and what happened to me, as long as I didn’t stay in that place. I really did need to hear that.”
“You were the one who did all the work, Hisao,” she says, craning up to give me a quick kiss. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy to be having this conversation, but…this doesn’t exactly seem like something that would need this clause of yours.”
“I haven’t gotten to that part yet.”
“Okay then,” she assures. “Rom-com clause it is. What’s on your mind?”
Even though she’s given me the go-ahead, it still takes me a few seconds to figure out how I want to approach this.
“Do you think that your parents were serious tonight about letting you attend Tokyo?”
“They better be,” she immediately growls. “Especially after what Mrs. Nanahara pulled.”
“I know, right?” I reply. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else corner someone the way she did to your father.”
“It’s one of the reasons I respect her so much. It’s an insane amount of work to get to the point she has. She flat out said she has to deal with people like my dad.”
“People who have power in their curated lives and think it applies to every interaction they have?”
Saki blinks. “You do learn fast.”
“It’s a shame we graduate tomorrow. Shizune could definitely have used some pointers from her.”
She laughs a bit, but then her face becomes serious again. “Seriously, Hisao. Out with it.”
I sigh. “Your parents are signing the paperwork to finalize Tokyo tomorrow, right? You don’t think he might take that back?”
“He won’t. It’s the reason why Mrs. Nanahara asked him in front of everyone tonight. My father absolutely hates looking like a liar in front of other people that are big time mucky-mucks.”
“What about afterwards? Is there a chance he might rescind it? Or try to go for guardianship when you turn twenty?”
“As long as I don’t slap any ex-boyfriends in public again, I doubt it.”
“And when you get to the point where you can’t anymore?”
“Can’t what, slap Maeda?”
“Saki, please,” I implore, trying to show her how hard this conversation is for me. I sit down on the bench next to us to drive the point home.
She gives an impatient sigh, dropping her tone down to match mine as she remains standing. “Okay. You’re asking me if I think he’d go back on it, or try to threaten me again regardless of what happens now.”
I nod.
There’s a pained annoyance when she answers me. “Then I end up going through with it sooner. Look, why are you-”
“What if there was another way?” I blurt out, cutting her off.
She crosses her arms, and an agitated look flashes across her face. “What do you mean, Hisao? I told you not to try and talk me out of it. Please don’t tell me you have a problem with this now.”
I hold up my hands in a placating gesture, trying to head off any defensiveness she has building up at the pass, but it looks like I might not be succeeding. I shake my head.
“No, I remember what you told me at the beach, and that’s not what I meant. I’m not trying to, nor will I ever try to talk you out of it. Just…hear me out, okay?” My hands then steeple in front of my own face as I lean forward, thinking about what I want to say next.
“Are you okay?”
I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. “I need to get through the next few thoughts here, and I’m still forming them in my head because I’m trying to figure out how to say them without sounding crazy.”
“You’re off to a great start,” she says with another chuckle, although just a tad sardonically.
“Do you remember the reason you gave me for being scared that night, at the park? When you told me about your plans about ending things on your own terms?”
Even saying it now, it no longer shocks me. It sure did that night, but as more time has gone by, I’ve come to accept it more and more.
“I do. I was scared you would think differently of me,” Saki replies, a bit on edge.
“So. How am I doing in that regard?”
She hesitates a bit, more from the strangeness of the question than trying to ease a bad answer. “You’ve done…pretty well, Hisao. More than well. Hell, you’ve done so much better than I could have asked for. You’ve stayed with me through everything. The recording, Christmas…”
“I should be the one thanking you after that. It was really great having you visit me in the hospital after my pacemaker surgery.”
“Sorry again for what happened the other night,” she says, grimacing. She finally moves over and sits down next to me, straightening her dress while she does so. When she puts her hand on my arm, I reach down to give it a squeeze.
“I’m alright. Really.”
She nods and leans against me, putting her head on my shoulder. I normally find the gesture calming, but in this case, it makes me hyper aware of her presence.
It’s still comforting, in a way that gives me encouragement. The same way she always has from the first day I met her. She’s always been pushing me forward, not letting me slide back. And she’s been helping me up every time I’ve stumbled - not just from Yamaku and my situation, but life in general.
Okay. Here goes.
“Well then,” I start, ”I guess it’s my turn.”
“Your turn? For what?”
“Bringing up something that’s probably going to change our relationship.”
(...continued...)
