Flutter - Level Thirty Nine: Rage Quit [13/10/24]

[NoticeMeOppai]

Someone get this Rika a blanket cause she's stone cold.

[Feurox]

A good chapter! I mean, I’ve already said before that you do melodrama, (not a bad thing, you do it very well!). I found the confrontation with Saki and Rika maybe a touch… exaggerated? Like, Saki has been suggested to be a bit of a bitch (and a bit slutty by Roma’s own words), but like what is the actual source of their animosity for one another? It feels a bit forced to me, but I might be misremembering quite how severe their relationship is?

That said, I think the argument is actually quite well done - Rika is cold as ice there, and it’s obviously quite significant since it’s a big faux park at YA. Saki’s teasing is just mean and her playful enough that it could be construed that she’s the victim here (which she sorta is).

So, mixed feelings here - mostly really strong, but also a bit perplexed maybe by the necessity of this fight? But all will be revealed I’m sure!

[Alex FRD]

It's about time someone put this version of Saki in her place!

[Sharp-O]

“What the hell was that, Rika!?” Fuuka finally vocalises her concern away from prying ears, in the relative safety of the changing rooms. I try to shake off the blood red pulsing behind my eyes, bracing myself against the wall.

“W-what? She h-had it coming.” I croak, swallowing hard. That scream really did a number on my throat. The adrenaline is quickly wearing off as my whole body starts shaking.

“You went totally medieval in there! She didn’t even get a word in edgeways and that’s not like Saki at all. Do you know something you wanna share?” Her rapid-fire interrogation comes from one side of me and then the other as she orbits around me in her chair.

“N-nope.” I do. My nasty little habit of peeking at patient files while stuck in the nurse’s office gave me a some insight into Saki Enomoto before I even met her. Like it did with Hisao… And others… But ataxia is by far the worst thing I read in them.

“Somehow, I don’t believe you.” Fuuka accuses, furrowing her brow. I place my back against the wall and slide down on to a bench, closing my eyes and beginning my breathing exercises.

“She’s a bully, Fuuka. They’re all cowards if you push back enough.” Especially if you happen to know what their big glowing weak spot is. Saki will die young, there’s no way around it. And I just attacked that weak spot for massive damage.

“You basically told her to go kill herself, Rika. She’s a bitch, for sure, but you know that’s not something you just say!” Fuuka chastises me and, honestly, she’s right to. There’s a few unspoken rules amongst the kids here and the two biggest are you don’t make fun of other’s disabilities and you don’t encourage others to self-harm.

I’ve been angry for others before, like when I read Iwanako’s letter. I’ve hated the way people looked at or perceived me, like Mrs Nakai. But I’ve never, ever, been so… Cruel. And the fact that I enjoyed it in the moment. Ugh.

“Fuck me.” I breathe quietly, throbbing head in shaking hands. “I… I don’t know why that slipped out…” I scrunch my eyes closed when I feel them becoming watery.

“Heat of the moment but that still wasn’t fucking cool.” Fuuka rubs her face in frustration.

“I’m the friggin’ worst.” My body drains of energy, the subsiding adrenaline surge leaving only aching muscles and a dull pulsing headache. The tears finally escape my eyes.

“No, honey, you’re not…” Fuuka gently pats my swim cap. “You just fucked up.” The softness in her voice is obviously trying to alleviate my shame spiral but all I can really do is sit on my towel and continue my breathing exercise while my body is on a massive comedown. My head hurts, my body hurts, and my heart hurts - just not how I expect it to.

“I… I think I blew up at her because… My operation is coming up, and between that and telling Hisao I love him…”

“You WHAT!?” Fuuka rolls right up to me and grabs me by the shoulders. “When was thiiiiiissss~?”

“A c-couple d-days ago!” I respond as I’m swayed back and forth by my shoulders.

“Oh my god, Rika! This is great!” My best friend beams and it warms my soul somewhat. But I’m immediately sent back into my shame spiral.

“Y-yeah, but I’ve been trying to improve my health and everything so I can be with him, after my procedure. I’m trying s-so hard, Fuuka… And her talking like that just made me so mad…” I mumble, pulling the wet rubber cap from my head. “I sh-should apologise…”

I look to Fuuka for an answer, who can only mirror my pensive back at me. It’s the right thing to do, even if it’s the wrong person to admit you’re wrong to.

“Maybe you should just dry off for now, lover girl…” Fuuka suggests and I comply.

-----------

Once I was dressed and mentally prepared, I wanted to catch Saki’s attention but as she swam the full length of the pool, it’d probably be best to let her cool down before attempting an apology.

It’s quite a solemn walk back from the medical building to the girl’s dorms and really gives me time to think. There’s a few more people around as the summer winds down and the new semester looms. There’s definitely more people occupying the common room as we pass it, including a couple familiar faces like Molly and that other dark-skinned girl - Mora, I think? - from Hisao’s class.

Fuuka waves to them and they reciprocate as she splits off from my path toward the elevator. The doors open just before I get there and a short, brown-haired girl with a yellow headband barges past me, typing furiously on her phone.

“Watch it!” I call out and the girl looks back at me. She looks me up and down with a disapproving glare. “Tch.” She clicks her tongue at me and continues on her way as I step backwards into the elevator, confused.

I know you tend to see a lot of the same folks around here but there’s something familiar about her… Can’t think why though. I throw my swim bag into my room for later and check my phone as I walk back to the elevator. I send my Mom a quick message to let her know my new exercise regime is going well and wish her a good shift, signing off with an ‘I love you’.

I end up back at the common room to find two new players in the mix; Hisao and Akio. They’re sitting around one of the larger tables, whispering conspiratorially with Fuuka and the others.

“Rika, get your butt over here!” Fuuka calls to me in a shouting whisper that draws everyone’s attention to her and then to me. If she was trying to be subtle, she’s failing but that’s par for the course for her, really.

“Whaaat’s up, guys?” I ask cautiously, taking up a spot behind my sitting boyfriend so I can hug him around the neck.

“What’s this I’m hearing about you getting into a fight?” Hisao asks, looking up and back at me. I glare daggers at Fuuka who reflexively holds her hands up.

“I swear; this is not my fault!” I actually believe her so now I’m even more confused as I take a seat on Hisao’s lap.

“What fight?” I ask, draping an arm around his shoulders and looking around to the others, all of them looking on intently at me.

“With Enomoto?” Hisao raises his eyebrows, a dubious expression on his face. A swirl of questions immediately spring into my mind about the how and when but I should really put Hisao’s mind at ease.

“I wouldn’t really call it a fight.” I say quietly and look to Fuuka to back me up but she only offers an unsure shrug.

“It was more of a… really heated one-sided argument.” Thanks, Fuuka. Big help. That sounds way worse than a fight!

“So you didn’t kick her ass?” The dark-skinned girl asks, looking a little disappointed.

“Don’t encourage my girlfriend to pick fights, Miura!” Hisao shouts her down, his voice a little more serious.

“What? You don’t think she’d win?” Miura seems insulted on my behalf and that makes me feel… oddly validated?

“No, I think Rika’d mop the floor with her but that’s not the point.” I wouldn't go that far but it's nice that he thinks that I could.

“And they say romance is dead.” Akio jokes with a lilt in his voice.

“Wait, hang on, who’s been saying I got into a fight with Enomoto?” I cut through the chatter and Molly holds up her phone.

“That’s what the rumours say.” She winces a little, clearly not comfortable with relaying this particular bit of gossip.

Rumours? It’s been like an hour…

“Wow, she wasted no time in making me look like the bad guy.” I mutter angrily. Hisao puts a finger under my chin and raises it up. “So what happened, Rika?”

Am I really going to do this in front of all of Hisao’s friends? Do I tell the whole truth? I have to because it’d be so much worse if I didn’t and Saki got to tell her twisted side of things. I breathe a lamentable sigh and pull my arms away from Hisao’s shoulders. I talk better with my hands free.

“Enomoto came in after I finished my exercise and started her usual bullshit.” I can already feel my hackles getting up but Hisao’s hand on my lower back reassures me no end.

“She said a bunch of stuff about me, about how Hisao could do better,” I look to Hisao who looks back at me sympathetically. I gesture towards Fuuka. “And then she started making fun of Fuuka’s legs.” She frowns as she nods along in agreement. Fuuka will probably back me up no matter what I say but I’m not going to lie to my boyfriend.

“At that point; I got really angry… And… In the heat of the moment… I told her to fuck off and die.” I confess, bracing myself for a torrent of dissent but it doesn’t come. Instead, the first thing I hear is Miura asking “Aaaand?”

“I said a whole bunch of other stuff; that she was wasting her time being a bully and that she’d be dead and gone before I’d waste my time on her.” I finish quietly. Hisao’s hand is still on me and if he’s thinking anything, his face isn’t giving it away. Just a placid stony visage not giving anything away as he listens intently.

“I’d say that was totally deserved.” Miki shrugs but meets a rebuttal from Fuuka. “It’s not something you should really say to someone here though, right?”

“True, but you tend to just say and do shit when you’re angry.” Akio nods, eyes closed.

“I know she’s a right cow but she’s got a really bad condition from what I’ve heard.” Molly muses, arms crossed. “I get it was the heat of the moment, but that’s still pretty dark. Sorry.”

“Hisao?” I turn to my boyfriend and his face hasn’t really changed. He’s got his pensive, decision-making face on as he stares at the table. Contemplating, puzzling out what he wants to say or do. It feels like an eternity. I feel my heart sink into the pit of my stomach as I reach for his chest instinctively to connect my feelings to his.

He looks down at my hand and then back to me. He looks a little sadder now. Oh hell.

“I… I understand. If the past few weeks have taught me anything, I can understand where your anger came from.” He says slowly, weighing his words carefully. “And I think you know what you said was out of line, even if Enomoto is an S-Ranked Bitch.”

His slight smirk to me as he uses my own description of Enomoto un-knots my stomach and I breathe a shaky sigh as I press my forehead against his. Thank you for not hating me, senpai.

“I’m totally going to apologise to her though! For the ‘fuck off and die’ crack, at least.” I nod, looking from Hisao to the rest of the group. “I shouldn’t have said it.”

“She doesn’t deserve shit, Katayama.” Miura snarls. “Least of all a fuckin’ apology! She’s had it coming for a long time.”

“I’m kinda with Miki on this,” Akio admits, leaning back in his chair. “She’s given a lot of people a lot shit for no real reason. Plus she’d probably just use it against you somehow. I know I would.”

“And we all know you’re a petty bitch.” Miura wryly smiles.

“Takes one to know one.” Akio counters, earning a snort of amusement from her.

Molly looks to each of her classmates and simply shrugs. I guess that’s the best I’m getting from her. Fuuka supported my idea originally but she shares a look with Miura and Akio, finally nodding in agreement with the older rebels.

“I know you didn’t mean it and you've said regret it but I think I’m with the others. The only thing apologising - hell, even talking to her - is going to do is give her more ammunition against you. I’m sure it’ll blow over.” Hisao offers, his hand rubbing my back gently. After everything with Iwanako and Mai, I was wondering if Hisao would be pushing me to make up with Enomoto but I guess he’s taken a page out of my book and thinks sleeping dogs should be left to lie. Or something like that.

“Yeah, fuck ‘er!” Miura chimes in, punching her left arm into the air with a manic grin. The table erupts into varying degrees of laughter and while I still don’t feel great about what I said, I feel better to knowing that I still have Hisao’s support.

-----------

Hisao followed me back to my room and this time it was just Miura cat-calling us, which made me laugh. She’s a real tomboy, that one - ‘one of the lads’ as Molly would put it.

We reach my room and I smile demurely at my boyfriend as I open the door behind my back and pull him inside. His smile fades a little as he takes hold of my hand.

“I need to talk to you about something and I hope you’ll be honest with me.” His face turns a little more serious as he looks down at me.

“O-okay? What’s wrong?”

“What you said to Enomoto cut her deep - in a very specific way from what you said.” He looks at my hands as he speaks.

“And there’s been something in the back of my head for a while now, ever since you told me about Shoji, that I’ve just put down to paranoia on my part but there’s so been many little things… That when I look back on…” Oh balls, I know where this is going.

“Did… Did you know about my condition when you met me?” He asks, looking oddly frightened. Oh, my dear sweet boy. I squeeze his hands tightly, steeling myself as I lock eyes with him. Just like before, Rika; don’t lie to him.

“Yes, Hisao.” He winces and I hold his hands firm. “I knew from the jump, the very first day you arrived. I was in the Doc’s office when you had your assessment, I’d had a flutter the same day. I don’t even remember what caused it but when I came round, you were in there.”

He furrows his brow, but not angrily, more… Confused? And his tone is equally so. “But you… I didn’t even meet you until…”

“A while later, yeah. By complete accident.” I chuckle at the sheer absurdity of the coincidence. Not to mention meeting at the post office of all places.

“But you never said anything.” His expression is a little more surprised now.

“Nope.”

“And when we started to hang out… Was that because…”

“We’ve both got broken hearts? C’mon, Hisao, do you think I’m so shallow that I’d base my attraction on similar medical conditions? No, silly!” I blush a deep crimson and so does he, even if his expression’s a little disconcerting.

“It’s just a big coincidence.” He says matter-of-factly but he looks like he doesn’t quite believe it.

“Yeah. I mean, I had a little foreknowledge but I wanted to be around you because I thought you were cute as heck! Do you even remember when I asked you to hang out the first time? Did I sound like I had some insidious plan to make you mine?” I ask incredulously, raising my right eyebrow at him.

“You didn’t seem like you had much of a plan at all.” He chuckles. “And you convinced Kenji that the floor is haunted.”

“Right? What kind of plan is that?” I laugh. “I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, all I thought was that it’d be nice to hang around you. And I count my lucky stars every day that you chose to hang out with a weirdo hermit like me.”

“Honestly, I think you were exactly what I needed.” He rocks my arms a little, a definite smile now forming. “I saw your medication that first time we played video games in your room and… I dunno, I guess I wanted to see who someone like me could be at this school. I know you don’t like the term ‘normal’ but…”

“We were already normal, Hisao. Weird hermit or bookish nerd, we’re always going to be who we are at our core. That’s what our normal is.” We finally sit down at the edge of my bed, much like the times we sat on the barrier on Yamaku hill, like no time has passed at all.

“You were always so patient.” He comments, rubbing his feet into my carpet.

“Not at your parents house,” I giggle. “At that point, I was less concerned about your heart and more just wanted to get your shirt off.”

“I think that’s when I finally accepted it. My scar. When I saw how confident you were with yours.” He muses with a small smile.

“I was confident I wanted to smooch your face with your shirt off~!” I rock sideways and nudge his shoulder. “But that’s very sweet of you to say. I don’t think I’d ever consider myself confident though.”

“It’s how I’ve always seen you.”

“Thanks, Hisao.”

“Thank you, Rika.”

We kiss, and it’s the most perfect moment. More so than any other time, we’re truly on an even playing field now. It feels so right.

“In the spirit of openness…” I begin, pulling away from Hisao’s lips. “There’s something I need to ask you too.”

“Anything.”

“I’m going to be going into hospital for my Fontan procedure soon. It’s the final operation to repair my heart. I’m gonna be stuck in recovery for at least two weeks and I was wondering, hoping that-”

“I’ll be there.” No hesitation. That’s my boy. “For as long as you need me.”

“Good answer, senpai.” We kiss once more. It feels so, so right.

~~~~~~~~

Previous Level <---> Next Level

~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's notes: So this chapter and the next are the longest I've written so far for this series and was multiple hours of revisions trying to get the tone just right but I hope it comes out alright and people enjoy what's to come.

[NoticeMeOppai]

Cute chapter as always and even a little cameo from Ritsu in there! be interesting to see if there's any further fallout from the student body in general

[Feurox]

Another cute instalment, but I think the whole conflict with Saki is difficult to sympathise with Rika, since we haven’t seen her actually be thaaat cruel. Maybe that’s something no that will change though…

[Sharp-O]

I think the whole conflict with Saki is difficult to sympathise with Rika, since we haven’t seen her actually be thaaat cruel.

In fairness, Rika's had a year of this shit already and then adding Saki basically threatening to steal her boyfriend is gonna rustle her jimmies something fierce.

[Sharp-O]

It’s around 11am the next morning when I finally pluck up the courage to go looking for Enomoto. Despite the consensus of the group last night, I still feel the urge to apologise. Must be Hisao’s influence from our trip to Meguro… Not sure what room she’s in so I go looking in the common room for people in clubs I think she’s in.

It’s art and music, right? Ugh, talented on top of the good looks and the smarts. Kinda just reinforces my thoughts that her attitude needs an adjustment. Or her face.

Nooooo, that’s the wrong outlook to have, Rika. You said something bad, it doesn’t matter how much of a pain in the butt she is or how much she may, or may not, have deserved it. You just need to apologise for the bad thing. A couple minutes, in-and-out, it’ll be a breeze!

“Looking for someone?” A voice catches my attention and I realise I’ve kinda been staring into the common room a little longer than I needed to. Enomoto isn’t here. Just some first years and the greyish-brown haired girl who just spoke up from a nearby bean bag.

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” I rub the back of my neck, looking at her and then at the room again. “I was looking for some art or music club members, just wanted to ask something…”

“I’m in the art club! I’m Chiharu! Are you thinking of joining?” She perks up and I double-take. Huh, that was easier than I thought.

“Not thinking of joining; I just wanted to ask about Enomoto?” I try my best to act casual but the sheer awkwardness of my body language makes the girl in front of me eye me up and down suspiciously.

“I just wanted to apologise to her for something.” And now she’s really suspicious.

“Oh!” She snaps her fingers then points directly at me. “You’re the one who got in a fight with her!”

“It wasn’t really a fight…” I wave my hand in front of me as my embarrassment begins to take over. “Do you know where she is?”

“I’m not sure…” The girl frowns as she tilts her head, look into the middle distance. “I think she typically goes swimming in the afternoon so I guess she’d either be in the art or music rooms if she’s not in her own room.”

“Okay, that makes sense. Sorry to disturb you!” I bow with a little smile. I don’t even get a chance to take a step before she stops me.

“You’re not gonna fight her again, are you?”

“It wasn’t a fight…” I sigh quietly and continue out of the front doors. The sun feels amazing and there’s just enough of a breeze to make the temperature pleasant. I skirt around a couple boys playing soccer against the wall near the stairs, on my way to the main school building. I pass a couple staff members on my way to the art wing, offering a friendly nod to the both.

First up is the art club. I give a quick glance through the window and it looks pretty empty. I open the door and take a better look around. Just from the layout, this looks like a repurposed science lab but it’s covered in paint and other assorted craft-y bits.

“Hey Rika, what are you doing here?” A voice calls and I jump at the surprise; leaning into the room a little to see Taro Arai sitting at a counter that runs along the wall to my immediate left.

“Oh, it’s just you, Taro!” I breathe a little sigh then give him a little wave which he reciprocates. “What’re you doing here?”

“Just doing some sketching while this place is still quiet. Don’t really like to be here when the teacher is but I still like the vibe of the place.”

“Oh, cool!” I nod, looking around as I take a few tentative steps into the new environment, my focus on a half dozen canvasses at the back of the room. “So, uh, any of these Enomoto’s?”

“Huh? Oh, I… think that one.” He points, hopping off his stool to further guide my eyes. He points out a piece that is a swirling mix of purples, blues, and violets. The colours are nice but apart from that, I have no idea what I’m looking at.

“What’s it supposed to be?” I frown.

“Hell if I know. I like to draw with a little more structure, never been one for abstract like this. I like Tezuka’s stuff though, but I think that’s because I like her, no matter how odd she comes across.” His opinion kinda falls on deaf ears as I focus on the weird painting in front of me. It’s not what I’d expect from her, that’s for sure. Has Enomoto got hidden depths? Nah… Couldn’t have.

“You’re looking for Enomoto, I’m guessing?” He strains, stretching his back out. He rolls his wrist back and forth as he steps back to his stool.

“Um… yeah. You seen her?” I ask, following him and peeking over his shoulder. I definitely get the appeal of Taro’s work, it’s variety of more manga-like portraits and mostly to a pretty decent standard for a high-schooler. Wait, is that the girl with the headband?

“Not recently but I heard you had some trouble with her.” Yeah, news travels fast around here… “I don’t recommend kicking off inside the main school, that’s a one-way trip to OCS.” His little laugh makes me think he knows from experience but I don’t really have time for a fun story. I’m on an important side-quest.

“I’m not planning on it; just gonna apologise and hopefully get on with what’s left of summer.” I answer and he seems content with it.

“Best of luck then, Rika.” He smiles before turning back to his drawing. I slide the door closed on my way out and turn towards the music room.

Pretty sure I have to cut through the amphitheatre to get there? Never had much call to be in this side of the building but looks pretty much like the rest of the school so who knows. This school feels like a maze of reused assets sometimes…

I open the double-doors to the small amphitheatre and trot down the stairs to the stage. I lean against it and look either side of the… wings, I think they’re called? The side parts that’s not the backstage. Looks clear and I guess the door to the music room is behind there. I hop up onto the stage and dust off my hands and knees as I approach the backstage.

I press against the music room door while looking through the window. Looks like no one’s home here either but I actually check behind the door this time, lest I be caught by someone else. Nope, this place is a ghost town. I take a quick look around but nothing really catches my eye.

It’s only when I go to leave that I spot a bunch of photos on a pinboard. A couple are of performances with full bands made up of faces I sorta recognise… Saki’s in a few, mostly having fun behind-the-scenes but there’s two that stand out; one of her doing a violin solo with a confident stance and another of her with who I can only assume are her parents. She looks a little more stoic in that one.

No, she looks downright unhappy. I quietly slide the door shut once more and step back out onto the stage.

I pull out my phone and text Fuuka, asking if she has any better ideas. As I sit on the edge of the second and stare out at the audience seating, I try to imagine this room full with the maybe fifty people it could hold. Not exactly a stadium show but this would probably pretty nerve-wracking.

I know I couldn’t do this but someone with Enomoto’s confidence, like in that picture? Hm. Weird. Can’t say I’ve ever been impressed by Enomoto before. That’s definitely a new feeling. The vibration of my phone isn’t, however.

[I would tell you not to go looking for trouble but you’re clearly already doing that. So proud of you. If I was on-campus and wanted to avoid people, I’d probably hide out in the library or on the roof. I mean, obviously I can’t get to the roof but I hear it’s quiet up there.]

The library… I’m pretty sure Hisao is in the library…

[Hey senpai~! Hope you have your phone on silent because I need to pester you! ( ˘ ³˘)]

[I didn’t but thank you for the reminder. What’s up?] I laugh, imagining the panic on his face when his phone chimed.

[Just wondering who else is in the library today… Wondering if it’s safe (ง •̀_•́)ง]

[Pretty sure it’s just Hanako and me, like usual. You gonna come study or maybe pester me in person?]

[Tempting, but I have something I need to take care of before I do. I’ll text you~!]

I hop off the stage with my next destination in mind.

-----------

Uuuurggh, why don’t they have an elevator to the roof? I guess I can skip the pool today because traipsing all over campus is one hell of a cardio workout. I groan as I push the heavy exit door open and stumble onto the gravel roof. Aaaand no one’s here.

“God damn it!” I wheezily shout into the ether before bracing myself against my knees. All this work and for what? All I’ve accomplished is working up a sweat on those damn stairs.

“Keep it down!” A voice calls out from my right and I look towards one of the air conditioners - only to spy the faintest threads of golden hair and the tell-tale wisps of smoke blowing in the breeze.

The soft crunch of my footsteps is nothing compared to the anxious pounding of my heart. Keep it together, Rika. You got this. I step cautiously around the opposite side of the air conditioner to find my target sitting against the furthest corner from me, though it’s not the same Enomoto that I had expected to find. Her hair hasn’t been brushed with it‘s usual care, she’s dressed in the school’s white-and-red tracksuit, and I didn’t even know she wore glasses…

“Morning, Rika! Come to join my little picnic?” Enomoto pulls the cigarette from her mouth and gestures towards the blanket she’s sitting on. There’s her cane, a big bottle of water, a bundle of single-pack bread snacks from the vending machines in a backpack, and a couple splayed-out light novels. She holds another book in her opposite free hand, which rests on her bent knee.

“Well, don’t just stand there; you gonna sit down or what?” Her gruffness is at complete odds with the saccharine sing-song voice I’m so used to taunting me. I slowly ease myself down onto the gravel and sit cross-legged, facing her.

She watches me placidly as she sucks on her cigarette again. She’s courteous enough to turn her head and blow the smoke away with the breeze before looking at me expectantly. Now or never, Rika. Take your shot.

“I… I w-wanted t-to…” God damn, my throat feels so dry I may just down that water bottle. I gulp hard and go to speak again. “I wanted to apologise, Enomoto. For what I said the other day.”

She furrows her brow at me before raising her eyebrows in surprise. She places her book down and retrieves a soda can which she deposits her cigarette into. “Okaaay…”

“I d-didn’t mean to t-tell you to die, that was out of line. I’m v-very sorry.” Oh my god, Rika. Steady your breathing! You’re botching this!

“Okay.” She says again, reaching into her track jacket pocket and retrieving her packet of cigarettes. She flicks the bottom with her thumb a few times so a couple of the cylinders pop up. “Smoke? They’re menthol.”

What the hell is going on? I expected shouting and tears and maybe a slap but this feels so much worse, somehow! This isn’t the match-up I was expecting! It’s like I’ve… broken her! Did I break Saki Enomoto?

“Last chance, Rika! Going once…” She waggles the box in front of me and, I don’t know why, I pull one of the cigarettes out of the box. Now what?

“Um, actually, I don’t know why I j-just took one, it just seemed l-like the polite thing to do… I don’t actually smoke.” I say quietly as I offer it back. Enomoto snorts in amusement and pushes it back to me.

“Be a lot cooler if you did. There’s basically no-one here I can enjoy this with.” She pulls the other cigarette out of the box with her lips. “Crazy, right?”

Yeah… Crazy…

“Enomoto…”

“You can call me Saki, y’know. I think we can dispense with the formalities.” She smirks a little. “Can’t exactly go back to being all polite after what you said.”

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean…”

“No, no, you did! You said with your whole chest! It was bound to happen eventually.” She lights her cigarette then offers her lighter to me. “Forget about it.”

Again, I don’t know why, but I take it from her. I must look like a complete rube sitting here holding a lighter and a cigarette with no idea how to use either.

“Just like that…?” I ask, warily.

“I mean, yeah. What? Did you expect me to jump you?” She smiles at me incredulously and I’m officially confused.

“Honestly, yeah!” I exclaim and she laughs.

“I don’t think that’d do either of us much good, would it? Not with your dodgy heart.” I gasp, dropping the items in my hands and staring at Saki, mouth agape. How?!

“H-how!?”

“It’s not hard to figure out, really.” She shrugs then points at me with her cigarette-holding hand. “All four limbs. You’re not blind, deaf, or mute. No fine motor control issues, no spinal problems, no obvious deformities and no, I don’t count your albinism. That pretty much leaves only internals and the best bet would be a heart condition of some sort; which you just confirmed.”

Holy shit, she is smart. I’d have just figured she had a muscle or bone problem because of her cane if I hadn’t cheated by reading her file but she’s like a detective.

“Th-that’s actually kind of amazing.” I say earnestly.

“You spend three years here, you tend to pick up a few things.” She smugly sucks on her cigarette. “You gonna join me?” She croaks with a lungful of smoke before blowing away from me again.

“I don’t think I should…”

“I doubt one cigarette is going to kill you - certainly isn’t killing me any quicker.” She snickers. Gallows humour isn’t unknown to me but, as with everything else, it comes out of nowhere for this unknown version of Saki.

“I… I don’t get it. Why aren’t you angry with me?”

“Why would I be? I gave you shit, you finally gave it back. Hell, I kinda respect you for it.”

I just stare in disbelief at her for a couple seconds before slumping my back against the air conditioner and groaning into my hands, sitting with my knees up so I can brace my elbows against me knees.

“What the fuck?” My muffled cursing makes Saki snicker again. “So what even is this, Saki? A fucking act?”

“You’re not far off.” She sighs. “This is just me when I’m not ‘on’.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, tilting my head toward her.

“I come from a very demanding family.” Her voice becomes lower, heavier. “Rich father, helicopter mother, looooots of expectations to be the perfect daughter. Perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect options in life.”

“My type of ataxia, which I’m guessing you also figured out on your own because you really had my number,” Ehhhhh. “Really put the kibosh on a lot of their plans. Didn’t stop them drilling their bullshit into me though. For a long time, even I believed I was better than most people.”

“Th-then… What happened?” And why would you keep acting like that? She gestures wide with her arms to the roof. No, to Yamaku as a whole.

“I was humbled. Even after arriving, my status as ‘the prodigy’ was too hard for me to shake, not with my parents still so involved in my life, so I fell into old habits. Like, you pretend to be fine with something for so long, you end up believing you are.”

Like me thinking I was fine with my own lifestyle until I met Hisao. Damn.

“But you can’t spend time here at Yamaku and not be changed by it; as your boyfriend can no doubt attest. Sorry for giving you shit about him too, bee-tee-dubs.”

“Thanks… Yeah, it was a real adjustment for him.” I offer. I don’t think I should tangent away from Saki’s point by expanding on that.

“Right, this place puts so much into perspective! There’s no ‘who got it the worst’ with people here. Yeah, people do have it worse than others, but it’s not a competition and that’s something I’ve tried so hard to break out of. Ironically, with little success.”

I sit there, idly sliding the cigarette I took through my fingers as I process what Saki has said so far. It all makes a kind of sense, now that I’m really thinking about it.

“So why give me so much hassle? Pretty sure we never interacted before I started going to the pool.” I ask and her shoulders droop as she breathes a heavy sigh.

“Honestly? Because I thought you were an easy target and you could seemingly take it. You always came back to the pool so I told myself you could take it anyway. Kept my bitch skills on point for when my parents would drag me to one of their events. I’m sorry for that, too.” She admits, looking down at her feet as she deposits her cigarette into the soda can and drinks some water.

Saki wipes her mouth with her rolled-up sleeve and then offers the water to me. I graciously take it and sip as she continues.

“You were right; I am wasting my time. Trying to please my parents by keeping up appearances isn’t going to help me and it certainly isn’t making me, or anyone else, happy.” She admits, the slightest quiver in her voice.

“I hate having to pretend like what I want doesn’t matter… I’m expected to be this great violinist or artist but it’s what’s expected of me and it all feels so… compulsory. Do you know what I really wanna do with my life?” I turn and listen more intently as she starts to gesticulate wildly.

“Sit somewhere sunny, read trashy novels, and smoke! There’s no cure for what I have and there’s definitely no guarantee I’ll even see my thirties so why am I expected to achieve great things? Every damn day I deteriorate a little more and I’m so tired of wasting those days pretending to be someone I’m not. Not at my core.” Her words resonate with me more than she could ever know. Thoughts and feelings I’ve only ever shared with one other person.

Her eyes swell up a little and her final words hurt me more than anything she’s ever said to me before. “Why is just being me not good enough?”

My body moves on instinct and before Saki even realises, I’ve already wrapped my arms tightly around her shoulders. She can barely utter a protest before I whisper into her ear with every ounce of compassion and sincerity I can muster.

“You’re not the only one, Saki.”

She finally breaks and bawls into my arms. So do I. How could I not? All the same insecurities and fears I shared with Hisao about the future were just echoed back at me by the last person I ever expected. We hold each other for a few minutes, until we’re all cried out, and then separate; awkwardly eyeing each other up and down before the nervous chuckling starts.

“Oh god, that’s… Thank you, I really needed that.” Saki smiles, lifting her glasses and wiping her eyes.

“I think we both did.” I huff with a grin, leaning back against air conditioner. I feel just as exhausted as I did last night at the pool. Guess that’s twice now that Saki has ignited intense emotion in me. Speaking of igniting… I idly pad around on the blanket, plucking the small cylinder I dropped earlier into my mouth and speak with a muffle as my lips hold the cigarette in my mouth.

“So how the hell do I do this, Saki?”

~~~~~~~~

Previous Level <---> Next Level

[Feurox]

Ohhh! Greer chapter, and a surprising way to get out from the Saki Rika confrontation - a good subversion indeed.

Rika will be fighting bears sooner than later if she keeps her smoking up ahah!

[Alex FRD]

Bitch Saki has evolved, what a twist!

[Sharp-O]

Saki’s eyes go wide, as does her grin, as she puts a cigarette into her own mouth and retrieves the lighter. She sparks hers up and sits on her knees to my side. I guess I’m getting a master class in delinquency; Fuuka would be so proud.

“Okay, okay, this is gonna be great! So, what you wanna do is suck on it a little to draw the smoke out, then breath in a little more to take it into your lungs, and then just blow it out. It’s just like breathing, you’ll do fine.” She excitedly explains, demonstrating the technique herself. Seems simple enough. She lights my cigarette for me and I do as she instructed.

Oh god, this is… I cough and splutter out a couple puffs of dark grey smoke as my lungs burn. This is god awful.

“This, gack, sucks! You do this, ku-hurr, for fun?” I wheeze and look at her stupid smug expression as she does it effortlessly, blowing the smoke out her nose like a dragon.

“It grows on you, Riiiikaaa~!” She teases in her fake sing-song tone. She did that on purpose. To goad me into trying again. And I hate that it works so well but I oblige and try again.

“There you go!” Saki beams as I eventually do it without coughing and hoo-boy, that’s… It’s like someone set fire to a pack of minty gum in my chest but… Good?

“Am I meant to be dizzy? I feel dizzy… And, like, weirdly soooo relaxed?” I press the back of my head against the air conditioner to ground myself as I blow a plume of lighter grey smoke into the air. My head spins but it feels like any tension in my body melts away and leaves me a little tingly?

“Yuuuup!” Saki says in a satisfied moan, mirroring my sitting position. “Feels good, right?”

“I think I’m starting to see the appeal now.” I chuckle, looking at what I hope is an all-new friend in an all-new light.

-----------

I take my time with the stairs down to the third floor. I still feel so weird that I’m scared my legs may just buckle from being so relaxed. I reach the bottom and breathe a little sigh that I’m back on solid ground again. A familiar voice catches my attention and I turn on my heels a little too fast for my liking. Woof, dizzy…

“Hey, Rika!” Hisao grins as he approaches me from the same direction as the library. He leans into kiss me on the lips but pauses, his nose turning up a little. “Why do you smell like cigarettes?”

“That’s, ah, because I think I’m friends with Saki now?” I scratch my cheek with a crooked smile. “I found her on the roof and we had a stupid-intense talk and then she offered me a cigarette and it would be rude not to accept and now I might be having a nicotine rush.”

“You smoked? With Saki? Are you okay?” Hisao grabs my shoulders in disbelief as I sway a little at his touch.

“Yeah, just a little giddy.” I wave my hand in front of my smiling face. “How was the library?”

“Quiet as usual. Hanako says hi.” Oh, that’s nice of h-wait a minute…

“…No, she doesn’t.” I narrow my eyes at Hisao who laughs.

“But seriously; are you okay? What happened?” He asks and I hook my arms around his as I lead him toward the elevator. I tell him all about my mid-day adventure and the epiphany I came to in how I relate to Saki. At the very least, it seems this has put an end to our hostilities for the time being and a truce is better than getting punched in the face.

“Wow. That’s a lot.” Hisao comments as we leave the main school building. “But I’m glad I was wrong. I wanted to give you as good advice as you’ve given me but I guess I should have trusted your judgement.”

“I think I was just lucky. Lucky that Saki was far more… forgiving than I gave her credit for.” I nod in agreement.

“More than Mai, for sure…” He shakes his head, glumy.

“Hey! No dwelling!” I poke at his cheek and he laughs as he swats my hand away. “What did you wanna do for the rest of the day, senpai?”

“I’m pretty hungry soooo… Shanghai?” He points with his thumb in the general direction of the town.

“Ooooh! Sounds good.” I go to plant a kiss on my boyfriend only to be held at arms-length by my face.

“Can you go brush your teeth or something first, please?” He gives me a wilting look. Oh, you cheeky little… I pout and playfully swing my arms at him before conceding.

“I want all the smooches when I get back, Nakai!” I shout, throwing a pointed finger at him as I back away. He laughs and nods.

-----------

Teeth cleaned, clothes changed, and fresh deodorant was a winning enough combination for me to secure the smooches I was promised.

“As much as I love your hobbies, can I ask that you don’t take up smoking as a new one?” Hisao requests, happy to be much closer than earlier.

“Look, I can’t say I won’t; I hear it’s pretty addictive and if it makes you feel that good?” I offer, opening my palms out as if displaying my case for doing so.

“And there’s nothing I can do to stem the cravings?” He raises a suggestive eyebrow at me.

“I meeeean, you do know how to make me feel good in other ways…” I tap my chin in playful thought. Hisao stops on the hill and tugs at my arm, pulling me into a loving embrace.

“As long as you remember that, I’m more than happy to keep your urges in check.” He kisses me deeply. Wowsers… That’s a much more familiar tingly feeling and, honestly, much better than a nicotine rush.

“Is that your phone?” Hisao asks as it vibrates in my pocket, my thigh pressed against his. I retrieve it and look to see who would dare interrupt my Hisao time. Of course…

“Hi, Mom!” I answer cheerily and receive much the same.

“Hey, sweetheart! I just wanted to call and ask you something. Is Hisao with you?” My mother’s voice is relaxed and cheery, something she hasn’t been the last few times I spoke to her. I flash a quick look at Hisao who waits patiently on the barrier just off the footpath.

“Yeah, he’s here.” His expression becomes confused as I acknowledge his presence.

“That’s great! I finally managed to wrangle some time off and I hoped, if you and Hisao are free for the next few days, that you’d come home to visit?” Oh yeah, we missed our chance after getting back from Meguro but she still wanted to see us before summer vacation ended. And before my procedure.

“Mom’s asking if you want to spend a few days with us at home.” I pull the phone away from my face to address Hisao. He looks surprised, then thoughtful, then finally nods.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that!” He announces, maybe to let Mom hear him.

“He sounds excited.” I can almost hear her smirk.

“Please don’t start…” I groan. I’m already regretting this.

“But I have to, Rika! It’s a mother’s prerogative to annoy her daughter and bully her daughter’s boyfriend.” Mom titters back. “But I’ll be there this evening to pick you guys up, so get everything you need to stay for a few days, okay?”

“Will do, Mom. See you soon. Love you.”

“Loooove you!”

“So your mom’s gonna try to embarrass you too, huh?” Hisao asks sympathetically. I nod with a fake glum expression and he hugs my shoulders as we continue to the Shanghai.

“She’s going to pick us up later.”

“I know you guys live near Sendai, why don’t we just catch a train?” Hisao asks and it’s a fair point but at the same time…

“If your folks wanted to come pick us up from here, would you have said no?”

“I guess not.” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his head. “Is there anything I should know? Any secret tips or tricks to boost my Social Link with your mom?”

“One, don’t use my lingo, especially around my Mom.” I press one index finger into the other, then the middle finger. “Two, you should be prepared to be bullied now we’re officially dating.”

“We were dating the last time she was here.” He says, confused. I look at him incredulously. “What? We hung out all the time holding hands. We were dating.”

“We hadn’t kissed yet. Not properly. Remember the balcony at your place?” I jog his memory and his eyes go wide with recognition.

“That was our first kiss? I swear there was one before then.” He mutters, his eyes narrowed in confusion as he seemingly looks for the answer on the path before us.

“Two cheek kisses, senpai.” I laugh at the silly boy. “One from me, one from you.”

“Oh yeah. Those don’t count?” He focuses back on me and only finds a disparaging ‘Really?’ look. “Okay, fair enough. That was a nice kiss though. You looked really pretty with your hair down.”

My cheeks warm with the memory and the reminder of his words. I purse my lips a little as I look at my hopelessly adorable boyfriend.

“Anything else I should know?” He asks, and I remember where my train of thought got derailed.

“Umm, no, I don’t think so.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, there is one thing!” I sidle up to him with a cute face as he looks to me. “I love you.”

“Heh, love you too.”

-----------

As I frantically pull my drawers open looking for something that I’ve forgotten, I can’t believe I’m leaving Hisao alone with my Mom again. She’s going to be giving him such a third degree. I’m sure I’ve got everything but something feels like it’s missing and I don’t… Know… Ah.

Once I pulled open my bedside table, I realised what I was subconsciously searching for. I reach into the drawer and pick up a small, non-descript white box. The one that the Doc gave me… I open it up and, sure enough, five unused foil condom wrappers. I heave a heavy sigh as I close the box and look around the room, searching for an answer that I know will not be forthcoming.

Did I want to take these because I’m expecting something to happen? I don’t think so. Am I hoping something happens? I’d be a liar if I said no… We’ve discussed it and Hisao hasn’t been pushy so I don’t need to take them… I go to put the box back and rethink myself.

It’s better to have them and not need them though, right? It’s really just a precaution! For the absolute worst-slash-best case scenario! It would be irresponsible not to pack them, in fact! I grip the box tight and nod to myself before stuffing them into the inner pocket of my backpack.

I rush out and see Hisao and Mom waiting by the car, he seems sort of rigid as she stands in front of him, arms crossed. Crapbaskets...

“Good, you’re here. I was just reading Mr Nakai the riot act.” Mom says sternly and I can only groan at the repeat performance of the disapproving parent. It doesn’t work once you’ve revealed it’s a trick, Mom…

“As I was saying; there will be absolutely no funny business in my home, Hisao. No horseplay, grab-ass, boot-knocking, sheet-shaking, slap and-or tickle, and certainly no hanky panky. Do I make myself clear?”

Oh god… If I could shrink down and disappear forever, I would. How did she know? My face goes crimson and I can only stare in horror at Hisao as he shivers on the spot. He must be mortified. He turns slowly to look at me but I quickly see that he’s been trying to stifle a laugh, turning away immediately and covering his mouth. I look at Mom, confused, and she’s doing her best to not laugh as well. Oh… You…

“Jerks!” I shout at them and they finally break, laughing at my expense. “I can’t believe you, two! You’re so not funny!”

Hisao wipes a tear from the corner of his eye as he straightens up. “I’m sorry, Rui! I almost lost it at ‘slap and-or tickle’!” He wheezes to my Mom and I raise my arm, threatening to smack him.

“It was my idea, Rika! Don’t be mad at Hisao.” My Mom snickers and I wheel on her.

“And yooooou!” My cheeks are still flush. “Ugh, you two are the worst!” I pout and walk around the car, opening the front passenger door angrily. I look at them once more to see them being all-too-pleased with themselves. Damn it… I can’t help but smile. I’m glad Hisao is getting along better with my Mom than I did with his. And I’m glad Mom likes Hisao too.

“You all ready to go, sweetheart?” Mom ask and I nod.

-----------

The trip home - north of the city to Shogen, Izumi - only takes about forty-five minutes by car so I can’t really play-sulk in such a confined space for that long and I eventually join in the conversation between Mom and Hisao.

“-ith everything else going on, I figure it’s best to let things cool off before I try to get them all in the room again.” Hisao explains. Ah, the stuff back in Meguro.

“That’s a very mature attitude to have, Hisao. Isn’t it, Rika?” Mom pointedly asks me, like I wasn’t paying attention. I mean, I wasn’t, but I can use context clues.

“I seem to recall that being my idea…” I look over my shoulder to Hisao in the back seat. He huffs a laugh and acknowledges my role with a nod. I toss the boy a soft smile. “But yeah, he handled it really well.”

“And you got along with all of Hisao’s friends?” Mom asks and I need with a smile.

“I think they all ended up liking me, right?” I ask into the air, hoping Hisao will answer.

“They really liked you. Especially Iwanako, you two seemed to really connect.” Hisao states, nodding.

“Yeah, well… We have a fair amount in common.” I smile back at Hisao who seemingly gets what I mean and blushes. My Mom glances back at him in the rear view mirror and then quickly over to my own flushed face. I share a look with her and I think she understands as she tries to stop a grin engulfing her entire face.

“I can’t believe she thought you were Albanian though. She’s such a ditz.” Hisao chuckles, causing my Mom’s warm expression to become confused.

“She what?”

~~~~~~~~

Previous Level <---> Next Level

[Feurox]

Adorable update! Off to Rika’s ancestral home then! I do wonder where this is going, but as you say, it’s really quite feel good Rika fluff.

[StealthyWolf]

Long overdue comment, but better late than never.

Hmm, been a bit since I did one of theses so forgive me while I get back into form. First and foremost, just like many others here I absolutely adore this Rika. She's fun, cute, refreshing, and a downright adorable person to experience this story through. To say this story would feel entirely different from the eyes of anyone else would be a massive understatement. Not to mention the fact that the way you write Rika's inner dialogue is very recognizable and distinct - and, once again, really well done. I can't speak exactly as to what I thought of this story back when I read it back in December/January, just that I did enjoy it, though not without fault.

So first I want to get the "bad" out of the way so I can get back to praising the story. I say bad, but I want to be clear that these are just my takes. As with all my other "reviews" (I don't like to think of theses as reviews, just as a documentation of my experience reading a story... or something like that. Nothing so intense, at least) this is mostly just what I thought and felt while reading the story and its impact on me.

With that in mind, the one thing I do remember distinctly feeling about this story from the first time reading it was that it felt very "over-the-top" in some very specific points. First one that I remember getting hung up on was the severity to which Saki was a absolute bitch. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, I understand that me taking such strong issue with this was definitely a bias due to love for Learning to Fly - having just finished it not terribly long before reading this one and with it being a quick favorite of mine. That being said, my opinion on this point has definitely softened since then. Both thanks to the ability to further separate the realities of different stories and thanks to the recent additions to her character.

The second biggest instance of "over-the-top"-ness (or whatever name there is for this feeling) was the extremity in relation to Iwanako. Specifically with two situations. The first is absolutely a me thing so I'll get it out of the way now. The whole "What's Albania like?" joke didn't quite land with me as well as with some others. I don't want to linger on it much since it is a me thing and I know I have a preference for more serious takes on certain stories. Probably just Joke fatigue from modern cinema. That being said, I had much less of an issue with it upon re-read. Though still not quite my flavor of joke, it was a fun moment in the end. The second instance, however, did not change in my mind upon re-read. I found the moment where everyone turned on Takumi for his "heart-breaker" comment to be a a little contrived. Obviously it would cause an issue, seeing as that "nickname" has very different meaning for Iwanako, and her reaction to hearing that from him was fine. But the others' reactions felt harsh. It was definitely careless of Takumi to throw that comment out, but everyone quickly starts treating him as if it were malicious and his goal to get a jab in at her when it is quite clear that this wasn't the case. Specifically I found Rika's internal comments to be quite unforgiving and the others reactions to be very harsh. Like, give the guy a break. He made a small mistake with big consequences and though he did definitely need to apologize and make his intentions and feelings on the situation more clear, I think the other three present could have been better bridges for him.

Hmmm, outside of the three points mentioned above there aren't as many other instance I can think of that feel as bad for me as they might've in the past, or at least according to how my memory recalls thinking about this story. Like, there are minor instances where an over-reaction feel present, but as time has gone on it's clearly just the style and tone of the story.

I guess the only other things to note are that of which have already been mentioned and addressed, like the cliffhangers for example. I think I used to take issue with Hisao's mom's actions, but not so much anymore. I think part of that is because it feels like a much better version of Development's depiction of her. Part of it is just because what is here is done well. Most of all I think my mind-set since that first-read has quite simply just changed. I was still in a dark place back then, so reading someone so cheerful and happy kind of just irked me, likely out of jealousy. Happy to say that that opinion didn't persist in this re-read/catch-up.

So with that I can now get back to praising. I can't believe I marked this story as a 7.5/10 back then. It's clearly an easy 8.5 and likely will climb more once complete. I probably just was sad to see it cut off so early without an end in sight, but luckily that's changed! I can also say that this depiction is definitely one of my favorites. Luckily I wasn't around to see the apparent abundance of nihilistic Rika's that many have mentioned, only really being familiar with Can You Open Your Heart's depiction of her, but even still gamer-girl Rika is a fun and enjoyable take on her. While total opposites, those two versions of her are probably my current favorites.

Specifically I like how quickly Rika is able to pull Hisao out of his shell, brightening up his take on life even when everything feels kind of like crap for him. Their interactions, joy, and over-all vibe is infectious and they work really well together. There's just something uniquely enjoyable about seeing her geek out over Hisao and her hobbies and it never fails to being a smile to my face.

Her friendship with Fuuko is another bright spot. Their dynamic works well and adds quite a lot of enjoyment to the read, however sparse their interactions may be. I also like the reflections between their friendship and Hisao's with Akio. Speaking of which, I enjoy the depictions of Hisao's friend-group as well. Hopefully we'll see a bit more of them in the future as well!

On to the adults in the story. Nurse and Rika's mother are fun additions to this story as well. I like the specific way she toys with Hisao and Rika. Though with that I'm starting to sense a trend amongst mother (-Hisao's mom) in the expanded KS-verse. I have a feeling that Meiko, Rui, and Ino Kurai from Tomorrow's Doom would get along pretty well. Not that I'm complaining.

The addition of various sprites and other images you have put together for this story were also a welcome addition and I always like seeing what you can find/come up with.

I also generally like how Rika approaches and deals with confrontations in this story. The defensive, but still delicate approach to Iwanako before knowing what her deal was. The way she handled her confrontation and apology with Saki. How she makes her feelings clear to those close to her. And so on. She knows what she wants and is willing to fight for it.

Most of all, I just like the over-all feel and presentation of this fic. I've said it before, but do not take the "positive" section being visually smaller as a bad thing. It's much easier to ramble on about "the bad" than it is the good without the good starting to feel repetitive. I could always make many more comments, as I've said for other, but I don't want to start making it sound like empty praises.

Last thing I wanted to talk about was how this story impacted me and my writing. I've mentioned it before on discord, but I believe I took a lot more inspiration from this story than I gave it credit for in the past. Now, I'm certain I didn't purposefully reflect some story-beats or specific scenarios from this story into my own (though I did see a couple that were surprisingly similar), but certain ideas were definitely born thanks to having read Flutter. And any story that get's my creative juices flowing is a story well worth reading. Gets me asking questions that I hadn't previously thought about or add more to the story that it previously skipped over. Makes me think about new angles and different ways to look at things, or inspires different approaches to walls that block my progress. So thanks for that and the inspiration you've given me! My only wish is that I had done so sooner.

I am excited to see where this story goes and and over-joyed to see you come back to it! Welcome back to the forums Sharp-O. I eagerly await the next level of Flutter.

[Sharp-O]

With that in mind, the one thing I do remember distinctly feeling about this story from the first time reading it was that it felt very "over-the-top" in some very specific points.

This has been something that pops up from time-to-time when people read my stuff and it's pretty easy to explain on my end. I write KS characters like they're in an anime. The two biggest inspirations that probably influence the way I write teenage drama are the shows Toradora and Haganai. All very melodramatic, lots of shouting, but also incredibly sweet in their quieter moments. It came up a lot in Monomyth (and a lot of that drama is pretty cringey in retrospect) but I like to think the emotionally resonant parts still work.

But yeah, it's over-the-top because that's my writing style

Specifically I like how quickly Rika is able to pull Hisao out of his shell, brightening up his take on life even when everything feels kind of like crap for him. Their interactions, joy, and over-all vibe is infectious and they work really well together. There's just something uniquely enjoyable about seeing her geek out over Hisao and her hobbies and it never fails to being a smile to my face.

That was the mission statement from the get-go; in much the same way that Hanako improves outside of her route, Hisao needed a route outside of the main ones to show him that while what he went through sucked, it's not the end of the world. Rika was always designed to be a mirror and reflect the positives of his new life, even if she herself didn't have the best time living with her condition.

Her friendship with Fuuko is another bright spot. Their dynamic works well and adds quite a lot of enjoyment to the read, however sparse their interactions may be. I also like the reflections between their friendship and Hisao's with Akio. Speaking of which, I enjoy the depictions of Hisao's friend-group as well. Hopefully we'll see a bit more of them in the future as well!

When I had Hisao say "he's just a male Fuuka" in an earlier chapter, I wasn't kidding. Her personality is a direct lift of Akio from Monomyth (sans the most negative traits) and this incarnation of Akio is a little more measured but no less the same lovable jackass I've written previously.

The addition of various sprites and other images you have put together for this story were also a welcome addition and I always like seeing what you can find/come up with.

Thanks, I actually found the games where most of Hisao's friends (and even Hisao himself) came from, so I should go on about that on the discord.

I also generally like how Rika approaches and deals with confrontations in this story. The defensive, but still delicate approach to Iwanako before knowing what her deal was. The way she handled her confrontation and apology with Saki. How she makes her feelings clear to those close to her. And so on. She knows what she wants and is willing to fight for it.

She can't rush in like Taro or Miki, she actively has to be smarter in her confrontations because she's got nothing in a fight, bless her. She's been bullied and othered so she wasn't going to pile onto Iwanako without justification and while Saki caught her at a weak moment, she showed more maturity than other characters I've written.

Last thing I wanted to talk about was how this story impacted me and my writing. I've mentioned it before on discord, but I believe I took a lot more inspiration from this story than I gave it credit for in the past. Now, I'm certain I didn't purposefully reflect some story-beats or specific scenarios from this story into my own (though I did see a couple that were surprisingly similar), but certain ideas were definitely born thanks to having read Flutter. And any story that get's my creative juices flowing is a story well worth reading. Gets me asking questions that I hadn't previously thought about or add more to the story that it previously skipped over. Makes me think about new angles and different ways to look at things, or inspires different approaches to walls that block my progress. So thanks for that and the inspiration you've given me! My only wish is that I had done so sooner.

You write long enough on here and it starts to get real communist collective with bits and characters being borrowed by everyone. I'm glad that my writing has helped you, it's more than I could ask for as a writer and I can't wait to see what you do!

Thank you for taking the time to give such an amazing review and some great constructive criticism. I can't wait to see what you, and everyone else, think of how this story ends.

[Sharp-O]

The tight streets bring back all sort of childhood memories as we arrive at the two-story house on the corner of an intersection. My Mom reverses the car into the slightly rusted awning outside of the walled garden that still shrouds our home from the other houses clustered around. The large trees my grandfather planted still look healthy, even if my Mom isn’t much of a gardener.

“Here we are!” Mom announces, waving her arm toward the brown and cream house behind us for Hisao’s benefit as he gets out of the car and looks around. The area’s a little more cramped than his old stomping grounds, for sure, but it’s still home.

“You have a lovely home.” He says politely and I lean into his periphery with a cheeky grin.

“You’re gonna have to bunk with me, senpai. We don’t have a guest room!” I waggle my eyebrows comically at him. I don’t intend for things to happen but it’s fun to pretend just to get a rise out of him.

“That’s something I wanted to talk to you both about…” Mom says as she leads us inside. She kicks off her shoes and steps up into the hall, standing over us while Hisao and I stand in the lower entryway. “I was having a little fun earlier but I am giving you both the benefit of the doubt and trusting you to stay in the same bedroom, okay?”

Her tone isn’t stern or overly serious, instead showing concern and understanding. That doesn’t stop the two of us blushing like crazy and standing like we’re being scolded for something we haven’t even done yet. She folds her arms and looks at both of us. “I’m just asking that you use your best judgement and don’t abuse the faith I have in you.”

That last part was most definitely more aimed towards me as her eyes lingered on me a little. It’s a much more reasonable demand than Hisao’s mom but then, my Mom has always tried to be ‘the fun mom’, even while doing her due diligence.

“I understand, Dr Katayama. I promise I won’t abuse the trust you’re placing in me.” Hisao nods solemnly and bowing deeply. I cast my eye sideways to my boyfriend’s sincere, if a little hammy, display before locking eyes with Mom.

“We’ll behave, Mom. Don’t worry so much.” I smile and she closes her eyes, nodding.

“I’m glad to hear it. Now,” She physically shivers and flops her arms around. “Blehhhh, I hate being so serious!” Her demeanour becomes cheerier as she guides Hisao through the house, showing him the living room. Meanwhile, I take an immediate right into the den that was my Grandpa’s room before he passed.

The curtains are drawn, but the sliver of light through the smallest crack between them tells me Mom hasn’t dusted in here for a while. I open the curtains wide, letting the light flood in. I look around the room and it’s still pretty barren, the only furniture left being the makeshift shrine on a table where his bed was. The only real possessions he cared for are still here, amongst his other favourite knick-knacks, around a picture of my grandfather.

Our family was never really religious. My grandmother practiced Shinto, I believe, but I was very young when she passed so I have no real strong memories of her. Don’t have a lot of memories of when I was super little. I’m not even sure if the faint memories I do have are mine or are just the result of Grandpa telling me the same stories from when I was a toddler over and over again.

I sit on my knees in front of the shrine and reach for the photograph of my Grandpa, wiping away the light coating of dust with my t-shirt. It’s a photo of him from a few years before he passed; undoubtedly him but still not quite how I remember him. He still has hair in this photo. I place it delicately back and bow.

“Hey Grandpa. It’s good to see you again.” I speak aloud into the empty air. I’m not religious either but it’s still reassuring to think he’s still here and wants to hear all about what I’ve doing. “I wanted to make sure to say hi to you first and make sure you were still here. I’ll make sure to clean up in here a bit later, you know how busy Mom is.”

“And this is…” I hear my Mom behind me and look back to see her and Hisao in the doorway. Ground floor tour didn’t take long, it seems.

“This is my Dad’s room. He’ll probably want to meet you, Hisao.” Mom smiles softly to me and then to Hisao, gesturing for him to enter with a gentle touch of the shoulder. He looks a little unsure before I pat the tatami flooring next to me, signalling to him that it’s okay. He steps cautiously into the room and takes a sitting position on his knees like me. He looks curiously at the shrine and then at me. I smile reassuringly and then return my focus to the photograph.

“Grandpa, this is Hisao Nakai! He’s from my school and he’s a little bit like me. Oh, and he’s my boyfriend. I knoooow you always said no boy would ever be good enough for me but…” I tilt my head towards the mystified Hisao. He doesn’t seem to know quite what to make of this, I’m sure, but the small tug at the corners of his mouth tells me he wants to hear how my sentence finishes. “He’s really nice so don’t haunt him, okay?”

Hisao’s eyes go wide at the thought and I snicker. My Mom takes a seat next to me and holds my shoulders. “Rika’s been helping him adjust to Yamaku. You’d be proud of her, Dad.” She says in a soft tone. Hisao goes to speak to me, but stops himself and looks at the photograph.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, senpai.” I whisper, patting his leg. He looks down, gulping hard before nodding.

“Your granddaughter is… an amazing… person… sir.” He squeaks out, losing confidence halfway through and frowning in frustration.

“Why don’t you two take your stuff upstairs and Rika can show where everything else is.” Mom injects the awkward air with a much friendlier voice. “Go on.”

I give my Grandpa another bow and Hisao follows suit, if a little awkwardly. I grab his backpack and hand it to him before pointing to the stairs. I hear my Mom’s quiet voice as I follow Hisao up the stairs.

“I know, Dad, she’s growing up so fast.”

-----------



I can only laugh at Hisao as he steps into my room and, for the second time, comments on how ‘not-girly’ it is. He should totally get my vibe by now but his bewildered expression makes a nice change from the weird expression he’s had since we came upstairs.

Hisao and I finish setting up his tatami mat near the window, on the floor in my room, far enough away from my bed to satisfy my Mom if she checked. I’m not gonna tell him it was Grandpa’s, I think he’s already spooked enough.

“So, uh, do you often talk to your grandfather when you come home?” He croaks out, his face is a mix of awkwardness and unease.

“Every time I come home and every time I leave. Just to give him a little update.” I say, plumping up Hisao’s pillow for him.

“And, eh, he…” Hisao begins before furrowing his brow and pouting his lips.

“Are you okay?” I ask and he sits on his butt, rubbing his face.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m being weird it’s just… I just…” He blows air through his lips in lieu of failing to form any kind of coherent sentence.

“Is it the shrine that’s freaking you out? Or us talking to his spirit?” I ask, leaning over and placing a hand on his arm.

“I dunno. I guess it’s both? I’m not gonna tell you not to… talk to your grandfather. I just don’t get it, I guess?” His flustered expression is usually really cute but I can tell he’s struggling with articulating himself. It’s like when he was keeping his condition a secret. Something gnawing at him and he doesn’t really know what to say about it.

“Is this the first time you’ve seen something like that since your heart attack?”

“Yeah… I know we’ve spoken about death and but seeing a shrine, it’s just …”

“Like confronting the reality of death? Feeling a bit mortal right now, senpai?” I snort with amusement and he shoots me a look like I shouldn’t find it funny. “Sorry, Hisao, I shouldn’t laugh.”

“No, I’m the one being weird. You and your Mom should… deal with? Treat? Death in whatever way you do normally. I’m just being sensitive.”

“You’re entitled to your feelings, Hisao.”

“Yeah but not when I’m a guest questioning your family customs in your own home. It’s disrespectful.”

“If it’s making you uncomfortable; just talk to me about it. I’m not going to be mad.” I try to reassure him.

“I know, thanks. Maybe I’m just nervous about making a good impression with your family. Don’t want to end up being haunted, right?” He chuckles but his face is still a puzzle of conflicting emotions.

“Hisao…”

“C’mon, we should make sure your Mom doesn’t think we’re up to no good up here.” He paints on a cheery expression and gets up, offering his hand. He’s bottling up his feelings, I can tell that much, but I’m not sure even he knows what particular emotion he’s bottling.

We close my bedroom door and head downstairs to find my Mom contemplating the fridge-freezer, both compartments wide open as she stands in front of them, rubbing her cheek in thought. I sidle up to her and see that both are full of junk food and takeout boxes. I look at her apologetic face and lean in conspiratorially.

“I’m no gourmet chef but I don’t think you can feed three people on leftovers alone.”

“Yeeeeah, I’ve been too busy at work to stock up and then I was too busy cleaning today…”

“Everything okay?” Hisao asks, and we both flinch. Luckily, Mom is quick to close the doors with an offer that’ll save her from embarrassment.

“I think for your first night here; we should do something special! You liked the food at Ichigo, right?” She asks and I know immediately where we’re going.

-----------

Hisao and I change into something a little more presentable for a restaurant, our eyes casting flitting glances at each other’s exposed skin as we dress. Sharing a room may have been a really bad idea. All these thoughts are not appropriate to have while dining out with my Mom.

I look at the mirror on my wall and glance from side-to-side. Hm. My usual look isn’t working with how long my hair’s gotten… I pull my braid apart and muss up my hair and look again.

“I don’t think the bedhead look is suitable for fine dining, Rika.” Hisao smirks in the mirror behind me. “Not that it doesn’t look good.”

“Just pass my hair brush, will you? I’m switching things up a little.”

A couple minutes of preening and trying things with this wild mane; we present ourselves and give each other approving nods. We’re totes classy-but-casual enough for the Blair Garden! It’s not far from home and is the only other place I’ve been to eat Italian food other than Ichigo in Sendai and the place Hisao took me to on our day-date in Meguro. Mom gushes at how cute we look when we come downstairs, insisting on a picture of the two of us.



It would be when I’m trying something different… I’m really not looking forward to all the embarrassing pictures Mom will no doubt show to Hisao at some point… But he seems happy enough right now and Mom seems satisfied. We pile into the car and make the drive through the streets towards Katsurashima Park. I make sure to point out my Junior High School as we pass, the only thing that holds notable memories for me here.

It’s pretty much the only place I socialised growing up, I wasn’t the ‘playing out’ kind of kid. I was the creepy girl who looked out her window at the playing out kids. It’s no wonder I ended up a chuunibyou in Junior High. Mom parks the car and I grab Hisao’s hand as we walk up to the brick building ahead of us.

“Trattoria? Tra-tor-ia? Am I saying that right?” Hisao asks Mom as he studies the foreign word.

“Tra-tuh-REE-uh. It’s less fancy than a ristorante, classier than a Denny’s.” Mom laughs. Hisao and I share a look, knowing full well that’s where his parents took us before we left. Mom does all the talking with the staff and we’re given a table near windows.

“Feeling a little more adventurous this time, Hisao?” Mom raises her eyebrows at my boyfriend as he studies the menu. He raises it slightly to hide his sheepish face and looks my way for help. And so it begins.

“Leave him alone, Mom!” I defend him against the giggling taunts of my mother while he chooses his main course. He mulls over the options before pulling the menu away from his face and offering it to me.

“I think I’m going to have the Luganica Tagliatelle and a decaf latte.” He says proudly but Mom cuts him down by laughing. That’s not funny, Mom!

“Oh Hisao, that…” She catches me glaring at her over the top of the menu and chooses her next words much more carefully. “That was a very good attempt. Foreign languages can be pretty hard.”

“English isn’t my best subject so I didn’t see Italian being much better.” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his head.

“They’re all based on Latin, right? You’d think there’d be some overlap… Okay, I’m having Manzo Piccante with a Craft Lemonade.” I say, offering the menu to Mom but she waves it off.

“I’ve got an idea of what I’m ordering, sweetheart. I’ve become a bit of a regular here.” She smiles as the waiter walks up and proves her point. The guy looks to be in his late-twenties with the wispiest moustache I’ve ever seen. I bet Hisao could grow a better one.

“Doc Rui! Good to see you again! Will you be having the usual?” He asks and Mom brushes her hair behind her ear before looking at him. Doc Rui? They must really like her here.

“Thank you, Koji, but I have my daughter with me - and I’m driving - so I think I’ll have a sparkling water and the… y’know what? Hisao had the right idea!” She nods to Hisao and orders the same as him as well as relaying my order. Guess she must order alcohol usually.

“Excellent choices, ma’am. I’ll bring your drinks over in just a moment.” He bows and Mom’s eyes linger on the waiter as he leaves before focusing her attention back onto us.

“The atmosphere here is so nice. I’ve come here straight from work sometimes and the staff have been so nice. I come here at least once a week.” She explains, a little flush in the cheeks. Uh-huh. Whatever you’re up to, Mom, I feel it’s my job - as your daughter - to not bring it up or to everthinkaboutitbecausegaaaaah.

“It does seem nice. How’s work been since I last saw you, Rui?” Hisao asks. Thank you for the assist, Hisao. I needed the distraction.

“Pretty busy, I had to trade some shifts around to get a couple days in a row off. I just know I’m going to have something awful come in when I get back.” She sighs heavily, rubbing her forehead.

“Isn’t it usually pretty bad if they come into the emergency department?” Hisao presses her for more information and Mom is more than happy to talk shop. She often did when I was growing up, as best she could without breaking patient confidentiality.

“That’s true but there’s degrees of bad. A shattered femur is worse than road rash but those aren’t nearly as bad as a…” She subconsciously points at Hisao and my blood runs cold. Mom! Luckily, the pregnant pause is made up for with the word “…de-gloving.”

“Oh gross, did you have to bring that up!?” I grimace, a shiver running up my spine. There’s very little, medically, that freaks me out now. Except that. Hisao’s face contorts before he finally asks what that means. “Noooo, senpai, it’s so gross!”

“It’s actually not appropriate to bring up at a meal so I’m sorry, Rika! But if you think about the word, Hisao, you can guess what it means.” Mom is so nonchalant about medical stuff and while I’m glad she didn’t continue her original thought and say heart attack, this is actually worse. For me, at least.

“Ohhhh… Oh yeah, that’s gross.” Hisao grimaces too, having finally figure it out.

-----------

After a delicious meal, even with the horrific medical talk beforehand. Mom said she’d be going shopping and suggested I give Hisao a tour around Shogen.

“I know you’re used to having free reign at night, Hisao, but make sure you get my girl home no later than ten, okay?” Mom points a finger at Hisao as I hug her.

“I doubt we’ll be out that late, Mom.” I counter with a whisper. She nods back at me, knowingly. “Well have fun anyway and I’ll see you both at home.”

We wave her off and I check my phone for the time. Yeah, There’s no way I can fill three hours with a walk around a park and a thirty minute walk home, this is going to be a pretty short tour.

“So where first?” Hisao looks excited but I can only shake my head at him, hands on my hips. Where, indeed? If it wasn’t so late, we could head into the city but it’s not a great look to immediately abandon my hometown on the first night because it’s so severely lacking in adventure.

“I’m going to level with you, Hisao. This place isn’t nearly as exciting as Meguro… We’d have to catch the train to Sendai for some real action.” I explain, taking his hand in mine and leading him towards the lake. Hang on tight, senpai, this is the most exciting place I can think of.

“So there’s nothing you wanna show me? No arcades, no old friends?”

“You already know my childhood wasn’t like yours, it was…” Worse. “I didn’t grow up with a group of close friends or go to a regular school for a long time. Hell, I didn’t even really go out and play with the neighbourhood kids. I was pretty isolated because I was so weak, so I didn’t really make real friends until Junior High and even then…”

Hisao’s grip tightens around my hand and I do the same. He knows I’ve had it rough but this is the first time I’ve fully explained just how alone I was.

“I don’t have dangerous exes for you to battle, long-lost relatives aren’t going to make a shocking return, and - as much as it’s nice to imagine - my house isn’t really haunted by my Grandpa.” I look at him with a little crooked smile.

“I w-wasn’t scared.” It’s cute how he defensively puffs up his chest a little at the insinuation.

“For a man of science, you seemed awfully spooked at the thought.” I purposely goad him into opening up. I’m hoping my own lament is enough to get him to talk about what was bothering him. An all-too-familiar game of footsies between us.

“I think you were right when you said I was feeling a little too mortal in that moment. Like, I’m gonna stop existing one day and just be a photo on a mantelpiece. Before my heart attack, I wouldn’t think twice about that sort of thing but now… Knowing how much dying sucks…”

I unintentionally laugh but offer an apologetic smile and encourage him to continue. He breathes heavily, stopping for a break and resting his elbows against the guardrail that encloses much of the park.

“I just don’t find it all that comforting that my family would still be talking to me after I die. It strikes me as silly. No offence.” He’s quick to look at me in worry and I simply smirk in response.

“Some taken.”

“I don’t even really believe in an afterlife, not any of the traditional ones anyway.”

“No pearly gates, no elysian fields?” I tilt my head curiously at him and he lets himself chuckle despite his grim demeanour.

“Not exactly. I’ve got some ideas but it’s not like it’s really based on anything, more a general concept.”

“Oh?” I sidle up and take his hand in mind, closing my eyes. “Lay it on me. What does the afterlife mean to Hisao Nakai?”

“Heh, okay, this is just a dumb idea I had, alright?” I nod readily and he continues. “So you know about the law of conservation of energy?”

“Not even a little, but go ahead.”

“It basically means that energy can’t be created or destroyed; only transformed from one thing into another.”

“Following so far.”

“So the human brain is just a lump of chemicals and bio-electricity and, with enough activity, forms who a person is. Their personality, their tastes, their soul - for lack of a better description. Still with me?”

“Yup.” I’m seeing a brain, crackling with ethereal electricity, in my head. I don’t know if that’s how he sees it but it’s helping me visual it.

“So when a person dies… All those chemicals and all that bio-electricity - all that makes that person a person - can’t be destroyed, only changed into another form of energy. So it stands to reason that their ‘soul’ can’t be destroyed either. Only transformed into something else. Some other form of life.”

“Hisao…” I open my eyes, slightly befuddled, and look at my boyfriend who seems genuinely excited to explain his theory. “That’s just reincarnation with science.”

“I told you it was a dumb idea.” He shrugs but is still a little cheerier.

“No, no, I didn’t say it was dumb; it’s just an interesting way of thinking about it.” I nudge his shoulder with mine. “A very Hisao way of thinking about it. You’ll be one heck of a teacher, senpai.”

“Thanks,” He blushes, rubbing his neck. “But that’s where I’m at; trying to rationalise death to myself so I’m not scared of it.”

“Congrats, Pretty sure you’ve just discovered the Kubler-Ross model.” I tease and he looks at me questioningly. You're not the only one who knows a thing or two. “The five stages of grief? I think this is your version of acceptance, the final stage. This is how you’ve come to terms with death.”

“And I’m guessing you’ve already been through it?” He raises an eyebrow at me, a little note of incredulity in his tone. Okay, that’s fair. I shouldn’t act like I have all the answers when it comes to our relative mortality.

“I thought I had, honestly. Kinda feeling like I’ve been back-peddling from acceptance into bargaining recently though.” I confess, thinking about my recent actions. “Living with the spectre of death was a whole lot easier when I didn’t have anything to look forward to.” I push my weight forward off the railing, dragging Hisao along with me.

“What do you mean?” He asks and I wrap my arms around one of his as we continue to the lake view.

“All the stuff I’ve been doing recently has been me trying - like, actually trying - to live a life. A life I want to share with others.” I look up to him, a warm flush of blood in my cheeks. My heart rate quickens and I feel slightly anxious, but that’s nothing new when I have a heart-to-heart with Hisao.

“And being here is a reminder of the past-me, the old way of thinking. The one that made me feel so alone.”

“All those old mental pathways don’t work for you anymore so you want all your mental energy to transform into something new.” He smirks a little and I rock him side-to-side.

“Exactly!” I laugh, a large grin spreading across my face. “Just like reincarnating.”

“It sounds like you don’t actually like being here… So why agree to come?”

“It was an opportunity to spend time with Mom and talk to her about everything going on with me. And for you to get to know her better! But this is also where I come from and I want you to know all of who I am, and even who I was. This place is home, sure, but it’s also not where I can be my best self.”

“And for you; that’s Yamaku?” He asks and I nod but only in part-agreement. “Why’s that?”

“Because you’re there…” I confess and he looks taken aback. “Don’t look so shocked, senpai! I was just as much a hermit at school until the day I met you. I was better than I was here, definitely, but you…” I release his arm as I come to a stop in front of the lake view I like. I take a deep nostril full of air before I continue.

“As much as you say I’ve done for you; I think you’ve done just as much for me.” I look at him with misty eyes. “You brought me out of my little bubble, took me to your hometown, introduced me to so many people…”

“I’ve given you a lot more hassle, that’s for sure.” He smirks. And so much more.

“You bet you did! I made friends with your ex-girlfriend! I got into an argument with a bully over you - who I then befriended! I’ve spilled my guts about all my innermost fears!” I’m laughing but I can feel the tears beginning to run down my cheeks.

“Are you okay, Rika?” Hisao cups my face in concern and I hold my hands tight over his. Oh, you amazing boy…

“I’m more than okay, Hisao! I’m in love!” I shout into the evening air with every ounce of pride my soul contains. Hisao grins and it spurs me on. Just like always. “I never thought I could be! I’m working hard for my future now! I want to make my heart as strong you make me feel!”

I pull his face towards mine and press my forehead against his. “And you make me feel so strong.”

The sounds of Shogen seemingly fade into the far-off distance; like the world outside of us, outside of this moment, doesn’t matter at all to either of us.

~~~~~~~~

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