Rin Epilogue: The Long Road (Updated 27/7/2024)

[MoashLannister]

Chapter 14: Leap

Another day had almost gone by, with only a scant few hours left. As I lay on my bed, looking up at the empty ceiling, that was the only thought that I could muster. Another day, and I’d gotten no closer to reconciling with Rin.The rift between us seemed as large as ever. I thought about what my mother had said about letting time settle this, but all I felt was the fear that time would simply widen that rift to the point where I could no longer reach her.

“Maybe you’re wrong,” I whispered to my mother, despite the fact that she wasn’t there. “Maybe it’s just making things worse. Isn’t that what you want? For things to become so bad that I don’t have a choice but to break it off with her?”

I felt immediately guilty about blaming her like that. Her advice was genuine, and perhaps it might have been helpful for a regular problem that regular couples face. But our problem and our relationship was anything but regular.

I heard a knock on my door and groaned. It was probably Kenji, who's been doing that a lot since I’d gotten back, talking about whatever goes through that insane mind of his. A few times, I’ve let him in just because I couldn’t deal with being alone with my thoughts, but now it wasn’t even worth the effort. Listening to him wouldn’t fix my problems, so why did it matter?

After a few minutes, there was another knock, and it was then that I finally noticed something odd about it. A single loud knock as opposed to the battering Kenji usually gives, and I didn’t hear his usual diatribe. Only silence. Not to mention that it sounded too different to be a knock using someone’s hands...

No, there was no way it could be.

Another few minutes passed, and a third knock came. Still no voice accompanied it. At this point, my body tensed up even more, and without thinking I sat up and got off my bed. My heart was torn between hoping it was her, and wishing it wasn’t.

I walked to the door, and froze with my hand on the handle. My breath felt heavier, as if it was burdened by an intangible pressure. Closing my eyes, I opened the door.

Opening my eyes, I see her standing right in front of me. Rin was looking at me, but it was almost like she was looking through me instead. Before I could even react, she walked past me and entered my room, saying nothing.

“Rin…” I muttered as I turned around, seeing her immediately lay down on my bed. Normally, such a sight would have been the highlight of my day. Now it just made me feel awful, wondering just what was her intention in coming here, after so long without so much as a word.

With a sigh, I nearly slammed my door shut in frustration, but managed to restrain myself enough to close it gently. I walked back to my bed, step by agonizing step, getting closer to Rin. It felt as if I was walking on a tightrope, that at any moment I’d just plummet to the ground without a safety net.

Something as simple as walking towards someone shouldn’t feel as horrifying as that. It would have been absurd if it wasn’t so real.

As I finally reached the bed, I looked down at Rin. She was facing the wall, eyes shut as if she were trying to sleep. Her hair and clothes were a mess, and her expression was troubled.
The subtle movements her body was making made it clear that she was very much awake, though I almost wished she was asleep.

“Why are you here, Rin?” I asked gently, not even caring if she gave me a satisfactory answer. I just wanted her to respond with something that wasn’t silence. Unfortunately, she didn’t react to my question.

“Rin, please…” I said again, almost begging, and again I was met with nothing. I’d cry, but I’d long since run out of tears.

I was so close to her, just mere inches apart. And yet I felt as if we were in two separate worlds again, that I was no longer her anchor to reality. In some ways, it was even worse than her time at the atelier, because this time I understood her fear all too well. The fear of losing me, of the person who she loved more.

But regardless of my understanding, I could do nothing about it. Despite my promise to chase her wherever she went, Rin was in a place I simply couldn’t go. A place where I would never belong.

I almost wanted to scream. Like that time I lashed out about not being her muse. I thought I was past that point, and yet the urge to yell was there, to try and force her to listen to me.

I’d come so far, and yet in that moment, I felt as if I hadn’t even taken a single step.

Without saying anything, I lay down on the bed beside her, my back to hers. I felt so tired, but with her so close to me like this, it was hard to sleep.

I lost all sense of time as I wavered between being asleep and being awake. Though I hoped that exhaustion would force me to sleep eventually, Rin’s presence prevented me from succumbing to it. I wondered if Rin was asleep by now, or if she was still pretending to be.

If it was the latter...what could I even do? What should I even say?

I knew that her being here was uncomfortable for her as well, as it meant she had to acknowledge my problems, whether or not she wanted to. Did her desire to be with me simply outweighed that? But her silence and unwillingness to address it continued to keep me at a distance. She was skirting the line between letting go and holding on, but that was unsustainable, for both of us. Sooner or later, a choice had to be made.

And then a thought came, a dangerous thought that I would never have considered earlier. Should I...force her hand?

It would be cruel of me, to force her to choose, but that was going to happen anyways. She has to decide whether to keep me in or cut me off from her life, and simply remaining like this was too painful for both of us. A part of me wanted to just go to sleep and ignore that idea, and while it was extremely tempting, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“Rin,” I said, louder than I intended. “I need you to talk to me about this.”

All I’m met with is her silence.

“We can’t keep going like this, I can’t…” I stopped myself before going any further, trying not to stray too far into hopelessness. “If you want this relationship to end because of...because of my heart condition, that’s fine. I don’t ever want to hurt you, and if that’s all I’m doing by being with you, then I’m willing to let you go.

“But if you don’t want me to go, then we need to talk about it. Not tonight, I don’t think either of us are ready for that.” I paused again, wondering if she was even listening. It would be pointless if she wasn’t, but even though I didn’t know, I still continued. “Tomorrow night. Please come here so we can talk, like how we did before this all happened. Try to remember those times. We were happy then, right?”

Those memories of our time together were something I treasured above everything else, yet recently I couldn’t find any enjoyment in remembering those times, only more sorrow. Like a photograph slowly being drained of color, of warmth.

“If you don’t show up tomorrow night, then…” I felt my eyes getting wet as I prepared myself for what I was about to say. “Then I’ll consider our relationship over.”

Saying those words was like a knife through my chest, yet I felt as if they needed to be said. We couldn’t stay as we were now. We needed to change, even if it meant that we might permanently be apart.

Again I was given no response, and my exhaustion began to win out. I closed my eyes, knowing I won’t open them again as I fall asleep, something that I both needed yet did not want.

“Goodnight, Rin. Please know that I love you. I’ll always love you.”

These were the last words that I said, and if the worst truly were to happen, those would be the final thing I would have said to her in spite of it all.

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I let out a groan as I awoke, opening my eyes to see the wall. I sat up in surprise. I was looking at the wall, and alone in my bed, which should have been impossible since…

Getting up immediately, I looked at the entrance to my room and saw that the door was completely shut, no crack or opening to suggest that someone with difficulty closing doors had left. Or even that someone had entered in the first place.

As I rubbed my eyes, I tried to recall what happened last night. It all felt so surreal, but I remembered her entering my room. The words I’d said out of desperation, the ultimatum that I gave her.

Those memories felt real, but at the same time I couldn’t help but question if they weren’t something I simply wanted to have happened, instead of what actually happened.

“Tonight…” I muttered. The deadline I’d set for the both of us, to either move on together or move apart. I’d said that we wouldn’t have been ready yesterday, but would tonight really be any different? I had my doubts that I was, but I supposed there really never is a time to be ready to talk about such a thing.

But I still had the rest of the day to worry about, and I started by getting my medications over with. Swallowing pill after pill, I consider simply staying in my room all day until night came, but I quickly dropped that idea. Trying to see Rin is out of the question, as I’d already told her she had until evening to think things over.

As I finished the last of my medications, I continued to wonder about what to do. I decided to go for a shower at first, wanting to refresh my body, if not my mind. Thankfully, Kenji didn’t appear to spoil that experience, and I managed to wash myself and change in relative peace.

After that, I walked out of the boys’ dorm, my destination still unclear. My first instinct was to go to the cafeteria, but I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry and it was a little earlier than when I usually ate breakfast.

Instead, I found myself walking around the school buildings, my feet walking as if they had a will of their own. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but after a while it became clear where I was heading, and why. It was the same place I’d headed during the first time Rin and I’d had trouble with my condition.

As I walked over to the track, I saw Emi running at full speed, a determined look on her face. Emi seemed to notice me as I walked towards her, though she didn’t slow down to talk to me. I was fine with that, and simply watched as she ran lap after lap without much effort. Even in the chill of winter, it seemed an act as effortless to her as breathing.

Eventually, she slowed down during the last couple of laps, finally stopping to catch her breath before walking towards me. Emi looked a little frustrated, though there was an element of curiosity in it as well. The fact that I’d decided to go to the track probably surprised her a little, considering it had surprised me as well.

“Morning,” Emi said as she stopped a few feet in front of me, bouncing a little. “You’re up early, Hisao. Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah. Though I’m starting to wonder why I’m here instead of in my room,” I responded, trying to lighten the mood, even trying to give her a smile. Unfortunately, all I could manage was a very forced grin. “Done running?”

“Nah, I still got a few laps, but you looked like you needed to talk.” Emi began stretching before pointing to the bleachers. “Why don’t you wait there till I’m done? It’ll only take a few minutes.”

“Actually…” I looked down at my attire, which was my casual attire. Hardly something to exercise in, even if I was wearing sneakers. “Mind if I join you?”

The look of shock on Emi’s face would have made me chuckle in any other situation, as she almost leapt back in surprise. She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes, as if she were dreaming.

“Did...did I hear that right?” Emi said with suspicion. “You want to exercise? You, Hisao Nakai? You refused to run after the first time!”

“Well, I guess I’m willing to try again,” I said noncommittally, hoping she didn’t take it as a desire to run with her every day. Honestly, much like my decision to go to the track, I’ve been speaking and acting in the moment. “Just...nothing too extreme, alright? I’ve got enough to worry about.”

I didn’t really say that last part with any amount of solemnity, but Emi seemed to flinch a little at it before grumbling something to herself. She then turned around to the starting line of the track, motioning me to come along, which I hesitantly did.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but fine,” she muttered with disgust, though I knew it wasn’t for me. “We’ll do a couple of laps, and I won’t go full speed. But you’re going to have to follow me, alright? No half assing this, or I’m leaving you in the dust.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I grumbled back sarcastically as we reached the starting line. I added, in a more sincere tone, “Thanks, Emi.”

“If you’re going to thank me, I expect a nice cake in my future,” Emi warned as she began to stretch, which I tried to mimic. As we stretched, she asked, “So, why now? Honestly, I’d given up trying to get you to run after we talked about Rin freezing up for the first time.”

“I guess I was finally in the mood,” I said in a rather unconvincing tone, much to Emi’s displeasure. Much less sarcastically, I asked her something that had been on my mind ever since I got out of bed. “Hey, did you see Rin this morning? Was she in her room?”

“No, I just sort of headed here the moment I woke up,” Emi admitted. She seemed to be done stretching, and waited for me to finish. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” I answered without elaborating, the lingering question of whether what happened last night really happened in my mind. The rational part of my mind said it did, and yet there was still that bit of uncertainty. Emi looked at me with impatience as she was waiting for me, and I added, “I think I’m ready. On three?”

“Fine.” Emi turned around and took up position next to the starting line, with me walking up to her side. I waited for her signal, mirroring her pose as I prepared to run for the first time in a long while.

“One…” she said, and I felt my body tense up, then very quickly she said, “Three!”

Emi took off immediately as I registered her ploy, already gaining some distance between us. I got over my shock and annoyance and quickly took off, trying to catch up to her. I felt the wind blowing against my face as I ran, my legs doing their best to keep a quick pace.

“Come on, that's all you got?” Emi taunted, though in an encouraging tone. I sped up just a little, worried that my heart might act up at any moment. The extra effort seemed to be worth it as I managed to catch up to her a little, though I knew that was mostly because she allowed me to. If she had been so inclined, she no doubt could have lapped me with ease. Maybe even two times to show off.

“Good, keep it up for three laps.” Emi ordered as we turned the corner, barely halfway through the first one. Already I was beginning to feel fatigue beginning to set in, my legs slightly wobbly, but I knew once I’ve gotten into this Emi wasn’t going to let me quit until she was satisfied.

The two of us went silent as we passed the first lap, and near the end of the second I could feel my stamina reaching its limits. Around the first turn my breath got even quicker, my speed slower, and my legs felt as if they were going to give in. I could even feel my heart beating at a rapid rate, and prayed that it wasn’t going through another episode.

“Hey, you alright?” Emi said in a worried tone, actually slowing down to run side by side with me instead of constantly being ahead. “If it’s your heart then we should...you know...stop.”

“I’m fine. We’re near the end, anyways,” I insisted, feeling no pain in my chest. Despite my dislike of running, and the temptation of stopping early, something made me want to finish the full three laps. Maybe it was my hatred of leaving things half finished, or perhaps just wanting to ‘run my problems away’ as Emi liked to do, but I pressed on without any objections from her.

We passed the second and third turns without incident or chatter, though Emi sped up a little as we neared the finish line, probably wanting to get first after knowing I was doing fine so close to the end. I crossed a few moments after her, slowing down to a crawl before stopping to catch my breath, feeling exhausted.

My body was sweaty despite the cold, my legs wobbled from how much they’d gone through, and I almost wanted to sit down on the ground to recover. But my heart hadn’t acted up, and was in fact slowly going back to its normal pace. That was all that mattered to me.

“Not bad for someone who hasn’t run in a long time, I guess,” Emi said offhandedly, bouncing around with lots of energy to spare, in contrast to my sorry state. It seemed as if she could run a few more laps, and probably would have if not for my presence. “I’d say you’ll get better at this, but that’s assuming you even want to do this again.”

While it wasn’t phrased as a question, there was definitely a hint of curiosity to Emi’s statement, though it’s not the opportunistic excitement of her previous attempts to get me to run with her.

“I think I might.” I said, to both her and myself. Much like me wandering here, I gave my answer without much forethought, simply telling her how I felt about it at that very moment.

“Going to tell me why?” Emi asked, immediately getting closer to me and giving me a curious stare. Clearly she wasn’t going to take anything less than a proper answer, and I let myself recover for a little while longer, trying to come up with the right words to say.

“I suppose I just want to prevent something like what happened to me during my trip, getting a heart attack from a measly collision and a fall,” I responded with a sigh. I walked back to the bleachers, Emi following behind. “Of course, that can still happen no matter what I do, but I guess reducing its odds is a good thing to do, even if it’s by a small amount.”

“Hey, you’re making running sound like it’s not worth much,” Emi complained as I took a seat at the bottom row, with her opting to remain standing. “And if you think it’s such a small chance, then why would you even bother running in the first place, Mr. Pessimist?”

“I guess...I owe it to Rin to try what I can,” I admitted. “I’ve been content with just taking my medication, because it was enough for me. I thought I couldn’t really do anything if my heart started going haywire, and maybe I’m just overthinking things, but I think that sort of mentality got passed on to Rin.

“She always liked to act like my heart condition wasn’t there, and I encouraged that by not really talking about it because I was afraid it would upset her. I didn’t pretend that it wasn’t there, but I was treating it like it was no big deal, right up until I got sent to the hospital. It shattered the illusion she had about me being fine, and I couldn’t help but think I enabled it because it was convenient for the both of us.”

My frown deepened as I said those words out loud, feeling guilty now that I’ve managed to put it into words. The fear of seeing Rin freeze up at my condition had ended up making things worse in the long run, when the reality of the situation made it unable to be ignored. I couldn’t help but think of what would happen if I had pressed the issue earlier. Would we have been better off than we are now, or would she have distanced herself from me regardless?

An irrelevant question to my current situation, asking about a possibility that has long since passed, but one I couldn’t help but wonder about. Had I done the best I could, given the situation, or had I been too complacent?

“So you’re trying to make up for it now?” Emi asked, her tone serious. “I guess if one good thing can come out of this mess, it’s that you’re seriously trying to get in shape now.”

“Nothing too extreme. I’m doing this to avoid going to the hospital, not to find an excuse to go there,” I insisted, trying to keep her expectations moderate. “I’ll push myself every now and then to improve my stamina, but only when I feel absolutely certain. That alright with you?”

“Well, I guess I won’t be signing you up for any track meets,” Emi quipped before extending her hand, giving me a cheery smile. “I’ll do my best to keep you in tip top shape, so even a car running you over will feel like nothing. That includes managing your diet, you know?”

“Considering our frequent trips to the Shanghai, I think that’ll be just fine,” I snarked back, earning a pout. “Thanks, Emi. It means a lot to me.”

“Hey, I’m helping both you and Rin, so it’s a win-win for me,” she said enthusiastically. “Maybe she’ll be so impressed with your health that she’ll talk to you again.”

“About that…” I glanced uncomfortably to the side, deciding it was time to reveal what happened last night. “I think I should tell you that Rin visited me last night, when I was about to go to sleep.”

“Wait, what?” Emi’s eyes widened as she immediately leaned her face in, both her voice and expression demanding answers. “What did she do? What did she say?”

Looking awkwardly down at the ground, I slowly recounted what I thought happened yesterday. About the choice I ultimately gave her, about how she disappeared before I woke up, and how everything felt so vague. I even mentioned that it could have been a dream, though she didn’t seem to buy that for a second.

“So that’s why you asked me if I saw Rin this morning,” Emi muttered in realisation. “Damn it! I should have visited her room before coming here.”

“I’m pretty sure that it was real,” I conceded, trying to reaffirm both Emi and I. “But I didn’t know when she left, or if she even headed back to her room or not.”

“But what you said…” Emi sounded extremely worried, and I couldn’t really blame her. This affected more than just Rin and I. “Are you really going to just break it off if she doesn’t show up? After all you’ve done to get close to her?”

“We can’t continue as we are now,” I answered calmly, closing my eyes and clenching my fist. “If we do, we’ll be even worse than when we started. If she doesn’t show up, then it’s probably what’s best for her. The last thing I want is to be a burden to her, even if it means I’ll have to disappear from her life.”

Emi didn’t respond, and there was a moment of quiet between the two of us. It’s not that we didn’t have anything to say, it was merely that words couldn’t accurately depict what the two of us were feeling.

“What about us then? What about Hanako?” Emi asked at last, a slight tremble in her voice.

“I hope we’ll still be friends, but it’ll have to be separate from your friendship with Rin. The same goes for the others.” The answer I gave was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Thinking about what would happen if Rin decided not to see me again was utterly depressing, but it was a scenario I needed to prepare for, otherwise it would just break me even more.

“Do you think she’ll show up?” Emi asked. In some ways, the only question that really mattered.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, hating the lack of certainty. It would have been easy to say I had faith in her love for me, but that would have been unconvincing to both her and myself. The doubt I felt was something I couldn’t deny, much as I wanted to. “I guess I’ll find out tonight.”

“I hope she does show up, Hisao.” She sounded like she was trying to sound optimistic, and I appreciated it. “I really do.”

All I could respond with was a nod, getting ever closer to the time where I’ll get my answer from Rin.

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With our run over, we decided to clean up before heading to the cafeteria for breakfast. The fact that I had to shower again so soon was mildly annoying, but I didn’t want to spend the whole day in sweaty clothes.

As I hopped into the shower and turned on the hot water, a voice from outside immediately made me groan.

“Hey, man,” Kenji’s voice was oddly soft, yet no less obnoxious than usual. “Got the usual for me? I need my fix.”

“...What do you want, Kenji?” I asked, uninterested in dealing with him but knowing that silence wouldn’t do anything to get him to go away. “I’m really not in the mood.”

“Right, right, the payment,” Kenji responded with a giggle, once again caught up in his own delusions. “You know I’m good for it, but I can give you some nice intel in the meantime. Something’s been brewing in this place.”

I wanted to just dismiss him, but his rambling about having information made me wonder if he could actually be useful for once.

“Tell me about yesterday,” I said, trying to play into his fantasy. “Did anyone come in and out of my room?”

“Heh, oh boy do I have a story to tell you.” He sounded extremely excited, and for once I was interested. “So, here’s the scoop. Dark hour, no moon in sight so the feminists were prowling, trying to find holes into our territory. Our safe haven.”

...I suppose expecting a comprehensible answer was asking too much of him, but I continued to listen anyway.

“Of course, our defenses were made to withstand things like the goddamn A-Bomb, so they couldn’t easily get in.” His voice grew louder with every word, as if he were a storyteller reaching the tale’s climax. “But then they did it. They goddamn did it. They managed to get through by disguising themselves as one of us, man. Now they could be anyone. But I know you too well, so I know you ain’t one of those vixens in disguise.”

“I assure you I am not,” is all I could really answer to such a ludicrous claim. “So who managed to get through? A girl?”

“Damn straight, homie,” Kenji all but shouted, and I was thankful that no one was in here to listen. “She had the look of a man, with her short red hair and muscular frame. But I’ve learnt to detect them using my own telepathic waves, and she was definitely just a chick in disguise.”

“Oh, she certainly tried to pretend to be a gentleman, knocking on the door a few times. But when that failed she used her psi abilities to force the door open and did who knows what in that room. Trust me, we need a minesweeper to scan this entire building, otherwise it’ll be the end of masculine civilization as we know it.”

There it was. Proof that Rin had in fact visited me yesterday, that it wasn’t all some desperate event that I dreamt up. Granted, it was Kenji giving me this information, but he also didn’t have a reason to lie or make it up and it went in line with what I’d experienced myself. In spite of his eccentricities, I believed him.

That assurance made me feel a little better, though not enough to dispel my many worries. I quickly finished my shower and put on my clothes, opening the stall door to see a completely naked Kenji right outside.

“Thanks, Kenji,” I said as I walked past him, completely ignoring the sight of his...masculinity. “I think this might be the first time you’ve ever helped me.”

“No problem, man,” he responded, and he sounded almost sane, at least until he added. “Make sure to give me my cheque in a black envelope. Those damn feminists control all the postage systems now.”

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I entered the cafeteria, which was as empty as usual these days, though that wouldn’t last long with winter break nearing its end. After that it would only be a few months before finals and graduation, followed quickly by college.

Those things haven’t even been part of my mind since I got back, but they were going to happen, and soon. I haven’t even thought about what college I wanted to go to, or even begun studying for finals, instead abandoning preparations for the future in order to mope on the present.

Another good reason why Rin and I couldn’t stay stuck like we were now. We wouldn’t be able to focus on our futures if we were, unimportant as they seemed right now. Though I didn’t know how well I’d be able to study knowing our relationship was over. Not all that well, most likely.

Feeling my stomach growl, I went to grab some breakfast. I grabbed two bread rolls and some butter, a few hard boiled eggs, some beans and orange juice. Probably the biggest breakfast I’d had in awhile, probably due to the exercise.

Once I got what I wanted, I scanned the area for Emi and the others, and found her near the corner of the cafeteria. Alongside her was Miki, though Hanako or Rin weren’t present. I headed over there, and they noticed me as I neared them.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Miki said, waving at me as I sat down. “We were just talking about you. Or rather, I was talking about you. Emi mostly complained about how she had to hold back so much.”

As Emi looked away with an innocuous smile on her face, I began eating my breakfast, starting with the beans. “I assume you’ve told her about everything?”

“Pretty much,” Emi replied with a shrug. “Hanako too, when I was heading back for a shower. She’s looking after Rin this morning, so she just got some food for the both of them and left. I’ll probably go see how they’re doing after we’re done here.”

“That’s good,” I responded, feeling extremely relieved that someone was with her. “I’ve talked with someone in my dorm. He’s not exactly the most reliable source, but he did hear Rin knocking on my door last night.”

“So, you really did say that to her, huh?” Miki said in a casual tone. “Gotta admit, that’s a pretty ballsy move to do that, especially when she’s acknowledging you for the first time in...what, a week or so?”

“Yeah, but I think it had to be said,” I answered quietly but firmly. “We can’t keep dancing around the problem anymore.”

“Fair enough,” Miki remarked before her expression turned into a frown. “I hope it goes well, Hisao. You guys are like one of the only reliable things in my life, so I’d hate to see it fall apart.”

“Is that seriously the only reason?” Emi asked, sounding incredulous.

“Now you’re just looking for an excuse to be angry,” Miki replied, reacting to Emi’s comment with more annoyance than usual. “Obviously, I also want their relationship to be all happy and stuff. That really doesn’t need to be said.”

Trying to defuse the tension between them, I turned to Miki switched topics. “So, how’s your family situation going?”

“Oh, you know, my testimony got pushed up to about a week from now,” Miki mentioned in a manner not too dissimilar to discussing something mundane like the weather, though her voice grew angrier as she went on. “So I’ll be heading back home for a few days, to watch my parents fight and try to take care of my siblings before telling a court who I should give them to. Honestly, I’m starting to think an orphanage might be the best option. At least they’d pretend to care about them.”

Emi and I looked at her sudden display of vitriol in mild surprise, which even Miki seemed to realize was completely unlike her, as she shook her head with an annoyed groan.

“Sorry, I got a little heated there, huh?” Miki said in an attempt at a cheery voice, trying to brush it off with a smile. “It’s just things deteriorating back at home, is all. I didn’t really want to vent because you and Rin are having your problems, so I’d feel a little bad adding to the pile.”

“We all have our problems,” I responded, trying to sound understanding of her situation, which I suppose I did considering I also had a deteriorating situation on my hands. Though Miki was arguably in a worse position, considering she had far less control. And from what I could tell, she had little to no hope for a happy ending. “No shame in letting it out. God knows you guys have been taking my problems extremely well, all things considered.”

“Eh, everyone else’s problems are always preferable to our own,” Miki answered with a dismissive shrug. “So, you’re gonna be running with Emi every day?”

I ate some more of my breakfast while pondering how to answer that question, all while Emi gave me a rather intimidating stare. I suppose now that I had shown interest, she was going to make damn sure that I kept to it.

At the same time, I couldn’t see myself running every morning, at least not where I am now. The reason I ran today was mostly on impulse, but a regular routine was a different thing entirely, and any motivation I had for it would disappear if Rin and I seperated.

“I don’t think I can handle every day,” I said at last, causing Emi’s frown to deepen. “But I do want to run, so I’ll probably try to go when I feel like I can, and ease myself in a little. Who knows? Maybe at some point, I actually will run every day.”

“You’ll be doing that once I’m through with you,” Emi mumbled under her breath before getting up. “Alright, I think I should go see if Hanako needs a break or something. We’ll probably be with her until it’s bedtime.”

“Fair enough,” I responded, managing to give her a smile. “See you later, Emi. And thanks for helping me...and Rin.”

“There’d better be a ‘you and Rin’ after today. And don’t you dare drop out of running now that you’ve asked me to help you,” Emi demanded before rushing towards the door, leaving her tray on the table.

“Just the two of us now,” Miki noted as I took a sip of my juice. “And I think it’s gonna be that way till you decide to head to bed.”

“Don’t have anything better to do?” I asked, partially as a joke but also wondering if she really didn’t have more important things to do than spending all day with me.

“Well, I did have plans with a guy,” Miki said, her smile widening so much that it was obvious she was lying. “But I figured you need my attention more than he does, especially if the status of your relationship is all coming down to whether she shows up at your door tonight.”

“I appreciate it, Miki. I really do,” I replied gratefully. “I definitely think things would have been infinitely worse if you guys weren’t around to help us.”

“Hey, in the end whether or not you two will stick together isn’t up to us,” she said with a hint of in her voice. “And honestly, if I had to pick between trying to fix your relationship or my parents’...easiest choice in my life, really.”

“Are they really that bad?” I asked. Even with my issues concerning my parents, I’ve never had the disdain for them that Miki seemed to have with hers.

“They weren’t the best folks even when they were together,” Miki explained with a long and uncharacteristically angry sigh, the frustration making her seem like Emi. “The divorce was sudden since I thought they at least liked each other, but it seemed that was a load of shit too. They pay the bills, give me and my siblings money, and just expect us to grow up by ourselves. No cooked meals, no family outings, and I swear if I had two hands I could count the times I’ve heard the two of them say the word ‘love’.”

“Wow,” was all I could really say. “That sounds awful, Miki. I can’t imagine having parents like that.”

“Well, maybe I’m making a few things sound a little worse than they are, but most of it is true,” Miki conceded, seeming to have gotten most of her anger out of her system. “I don’t like to talk about them much, especially when Hanako’s around. She lost her parents while I still have mine, as shitty as they are.”

“I suppose so.” I said, and we finished our breakfasts in relative silence, both of us wanting a break from talking.

After we’re done, we went to discard the food trays before exiting the cafeteria. Miki seemed content to just follow me without inquiring about where I’m going.

“I’m heading to the library,” I told her as we turned a corner. “Get some books to keep my mind off things until tonight.”

“All books ever did was give me a headache,” Miki said with a chuckle. “But maybe I’m just reading the wrong kind of books.”

The two of us entered the library, which looked extremely empty save for the librarian, who seemed rather bored at watching over a mostly empty room. I went for the fiction section and passed a few shelves before finding the genre I wanted, one that I admittedly never read much of.

I picked a few books at random, Miki taking one as well before moving to the usual corner to read. I took a seat at my usual bean bag, and Miki sat where Hanako would sit. I opened up one of the books I’d chosen and began reading.

It was a novel about two people from different parts of the world meeting as children, growing up together. There were a lot of differences due to their culture, heritage and beliefs. In many ways, they were as different as two humans in the entire world could be. And yet they became friends, and eventually lovers.

“Whoa, this is some mushy stuff,” Miki noted, far louder than she should have considering where we were. I looked away from my book to see that she was actually blushing. “You read this kind of stuff, Hisao? Never really took you as the type.”

“Not really,” I answered before going back to my book, detailing the struggle the two leads were facing both from outside pressure as well as internal differences. “Fiction in general isn’t something I really read a lot of, though Hanako has helped me appreciate some every now and then. But this...this is relatively new territory for me.”

“Well, looks like I’m getting to a good part, so I guess I’ll shut up and try to focus.” Miki said in jest, though it seemed more likely she wanted to let me read undisturbed.

Time passed by as we read in silence, though I occasionally glanced at Miki to see if she was getting bored, which she thankfully wasn’t. The book covered a lot of the characters’ lives, with the last quarter being when they’re in their thirties and having several children, all while retaining most of who they originally were when they met. By then, a lot of their differences had been sorted out, and any external problems were handled or were irrelevant.

That wasn’t to say there weren’t problems, especially in regards to their children. One took after one parent’s beliefs and culture while disregarding the other’s, one had extremely difficulty trying to reconcile the two different viewpoints, while the last didn’t care for either.

And yet, they were still a relatively loving family, with the occasional civil argument at the dinner table. Near the end, I wondered if the author of this book was basing it off his own relationships, the relationship of people he knew, or was simply putting up an idealized romance with no personal basis whatsoever.

Still, regardless of being idealized or not, it ended with the relationship stable and happy for the foreseeable future. Something that made me feel a little better, though it was gone the moment I closed the book.

Thankfully, I had other books to help me recapture that momentary feeling of satisfaction, and i grabbed another from the ones I’d picked out. Once again, it mostly centered around a couple and their relationship as it slowly grew and changed.

It was around halfway through that book that I questioned why I was reading romance novels, when it was something that I hadn’t really done before. Reading had been source of comfort for me ever since my first hospital stay, but I didn’t think I’d ever read a single book that was focused entirely on romance, though a few did have romantic elements. Even then, those elements I’d mostly ignored or never gave too much thought too.

Perhaps it was because I wanted to feel that romantic bliss I had before everything seemed to fall apart, even if vicariously. Reading these moments of affection between characters I was learning about reminded me of the time when I tried to grow closer to Rin, and the period where we had been a loving, if unorthodox, couple. I desperately wanted that back, but for now I simply settled for having someone fictional experience that while I read on with a longing feeling in my chest.

Another reason might be that I wanted an answer, to be reassured that the outcome of our relationship would be a good one. Romance novels usually ended with the couple together, with a bright future ahead of them. It was what I wanted for me and Rin, to have our relationship be like that instead of the way it was now. Even if we were different from most couples, both real and fictional, I desired that one similarity.

As I finished reading my second book, one with a similarly happy ending to the first, I began hoping that every one that I picked had endings of that nature. Some novels had bittersweet or even bleak endings, and I felt that reading one of those would just be too painful to bear.

Thankfully, all of the books I’d read so far were free of those endings, even if some were less happy than others. Perhaps in any other situation, I would have considered them too saccharine to stomach, but now I welcomed the sweet tone of these books.

Partway through the third book, a question popped into my head.

Are Rin and I only halfway through our story? Are we near the end? Or have we already passed that, and I’m merely trying to salvage a pathetic attempt at an epilogue?

I was near the end of the third book when Miki called for me, though I was so immersed in it that I almost ignored her. Looking up from my book, I saw that she was finished with the one book she’d picked out.

“I was wondering when you’d peek out of your book,” Miki said with a smirk, shaking her head slightly. “You’re almost like Hanako. I’ve had to call her a few times because she was reading some story or other.”

“Sorry,” I said as I placed the book down, trying to give her my full attention despite wanting to read the resolution to the story. “I hope you’re not feeling too bored, waiting for me to finish.”

“Nah, I just finished myself. You may be slow on the track, but when it comes to reading, you have no problem getting a lap or two on me,” she teased with a wink before. “It’s just a bit after noon, and I’m feeling kind of hungry. How about we grab something from the cafeteria before you continue your little reading binge?”

It’s the afternoon already? Time seemed to fly when I was reading.

“Sure,” I said as we both got up, leaving our books on a random table before heading out of the library.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lunch went by uneventfully, and before long we were back at the library where I continued to read through romance novels. Miki read alongside me, but she was clearly there just to keep me company rather than having any actual interest in reading, trying to make me feel less isolated.

That said, I had heard her chuckle occasionally before lunch. Wondering what had amused her, I skimmed through the book she’d finished and realized that it was rather...raunchy in nature, though nothing extremely explicit.

The hours of the afternoon flew by quickly as I immersed myself in story after story, desperately using it as a means to escape my problems and wondering if this was how Hanako felt every time she read a book. Regardless, I was glad for the momentary reprieve from my fears.

Of course, such a thing couldn’t last, and eventually evening came around. Miki and I put all the books back in their places before leaving this time, and she called Hanako and Emi to come meet up one final time today, to have dinner and to update the two of us on how Rin is doing.

“She’s been in her room the whole day, surprise surprise,” Emi said as we ate our dinner, which mostly consisted of several types of onigiri and drinks. She’d also decided that we should eat at the track bleachers for some reason. “She’s mostly been laying down on her bed, but she also doodles from time to time, though they all just look like scribbles to me. We made sure she ate something before coming here.”

“Did she talk about anything?” Miki asked before popping an entire onigiri into her mouth.

“S-she responded to our questions, and occasionally commented about things when we were eating lunch,” Hanako answered, taking smaller bites while sipping on her drink. “R-Rin seemed like s-she was thinking about something. S-She always had her eyes closed, b-but it felt like she was actively trying not to open them.”

I tried to be optimistic and think that she was at least considering coming over to talk tonight.I silently ate my onigiri, looking up at the evening sky. The orange faded away to purple, the end of a day close by. For me, today felt like it was going to be the only day that mattered moving forward.

“Well, glad to hear she’s doing well,” Miki said once she’d swallowed her food, patting me on the back. “Good luck tonight, Hisao. I’d say something more profound and shit, but I’m not really good with words. Still, I think things will work out nicely.”

“Thanks,” I responded before letting out a sigh without meaning too. “I guess I’ll learn how she feels tonight.”

“I-I’m sure she’ll come,” Hanako said, a confident look on her face. “I-I believe in her. In the both of you.”

“Same here,” Emi added, her confidence more brash but just as firm. “Don’t worry about it, Hisao. Seeing you two act all mushy the past few months, it’s like you two are meant to be, you know? I know she won’t ever want to forget you, no matter what.”

I wondered for a moment if their faith was really genuine, or just something to reassure me with. Looking at them though, I could tell that they meant what they said, and their assurances bolstered my waning optimism. If Rin and I truly reconciled, it would be because of them just as much as it would be because of us.

They were wonderful friends, and ones I appreciated being with regardless of the situation. Perhaps when things were less dire, I’d try and show that appreciation. Maybe a trip to the Shangai, or something fancier.

But that was for another time, as I felt the need to go back to my room to wait for her.

I got up and told them I needed to go, and left after waving goodbye. The sky got darker as I made my way back to the dorm, fully transitioning to night just as I reached the door. I never specified a time, just that it would be at night. A small part of me hoped that she was already outside my door.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t there when I reached my room, though I’d expected as much. I opened the door and went in, leaving the door open a small crack she wouldn’t have to knock. After that, I simply went through my nightly routine, starting with taking my medications.

My medications...I hadn’t been taking them in front of Rin, always doing it whenever she wasn’t looking at me. I realized now that that had been a mistake, avoiding the topic for the sake of not hurting her. Perhaps if she had seen it, I could have eased her into the reality of my condition and this entire mess wouldn’t have had to happen.

I couldn’t hide from her anymore. Just as I’d accepted everything about her, everything she might be, she needed to do the same for me.

But would she?

[MoashLannister]

Once I’ve finished, I set my medications down on the table and pulled out the photo of us and our friends during the festival.. I sat down and stared at it. Rin had a copy of it as well, and I wondered if she’d ever so much as thought of it. Looking at all of our faces, it reminded me of happier times, and I let out a silent prayer that those times would return.

The next few hours passed by slowly, too slowly for me, as if they were days in the disguise of hours. I did what I could to occupy myself, such as some more reading, or looking through my phone, but each moment that passed added a miniscule amount of dread to my mood.

A miniscule amount, insignificant by itself. But over time it began to pile up, until it couldn’t help but feel significant. Small momentary thoughts turned into questions and imaginary scenarios. Of her never showing up, of us never talking to each other again.

How much longer until imaginary turned into reality? What was the line that separated the two? An hour from now? A minute? A second?

I looked at my phone again to check the time, and it was getting close to midnight. No doubt curfew was currently being enforced, if a bit more laxly due to the absence of so many students. There was no chance of me falling asleep tonight, as I wanted to wait for her until the very last moment.

Turning to look at the door, I saw no change. It was exactly the same as I’d left it, and I felt disheartened.

And then it moved, and for a split second my heart felt as if it stopped.

There was a slight creaking sound as the door slowly opened, and I got out of my chair and walked towards it, wanting to rush over there as fast as possible. Behind the door was Rin, looking down at the ground.

Like last night, she looked like a mess. Her hair was disheveled and disorganized, and the clothes she was wearing were full of wrinkles. Her face, or rather what I could see of it, looked tired and uncomfortable.

“Rin…” I said, unable to say much else.

Wordlessly, she entered the room and walked past me. Closing the door, I turned around to see that she was sitting on my bed. She didn’t lay on it like last night, staying still as she continued to look down at the ground.

I didn’t know what to feel in that moment. Relief for her coming here, concern at how her eyes are locked on the ground, confused as to what to do now that she was actually here. Emotions were at war in my head as I walked towards the bed, stopping for a few moments before slowly sitting down beside her., Rin didn’t react to my presence next to her.

Silence followed, neither of us saying anything, or making a move towards the other. We just sat there side by side, almost as if we were in separate planes of existence.

It was Rin who broke the long heavy silence. “I tried to forget about it,” Rin said softly, still looking down. Her voice was quiet, sounding exhausted. “About your heart, about that day you fell down and didn’t get back up. But then I couldn’t without forgetting about what happened that day, so I tried to forget that too. But I also couldn’t forget that day without forgetting the entire time we were at your parent’s house, so I tried to forget that too.

“Each time I tried to forget something, there was something else I needed to forget, like someone trying to pull a thread sticking out of a sweater, but then all it does is make more threads appear that you have to pull. So you keep on pulling and pulling, but once you’re done you don’t have a sweater left to wear.”

“And did you try to forget about...me?” I asked, knowing that question was dangerous.

Rin simply nodded, her frown deepening. “I tried, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose the sweater, just bits and pieces of it, but even now it’s so torn and tattered, and the threads that I pulled out are starting to go back in. Sweaters aren’t supposed to do that, Hisao.”

Hisao...how long had it been since I’d heard her say my name? It should have made me so happy, and yet the way she said it only reinforced the solemn atmosphere in this room.

“Memories don’t work that way, Rin,” I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. “You can’t just forget about something like that, no matter how hard you try. Even if it was a painful experience, I couldn’t forget about the first time I had a heart attack, or how I discovered that I had arrhythmia. They are awful memories, and there was a time that I hated them, but I couldn’t forget about them. I don’t think I would have wanted to.”

“Can’t we forget about it?” Rin asked, finally turning her head to face me. “I want to go back to before I found out about your heart. About how you can die. We can go back, can we? Like using a time machine, except we’d be using our minds instead of an actual machine. Then I won’t feel this thing in my chest that I don’t know about.”

She sounded hopeful, as if she wanted me to buy into that idea that we can simply forget it all. Turn the clock back several months before I even mentioned my condition, and live out our relationship in blissful ignorance. Without thought, I placed my hands on her shoulders, and I looked her straight in the eye. She had sparked an emotion that I’d thought I would never feel towards her again up until now.

Anger.

“No, we can’t,” I said loudly as I glared at her, which caused Rin to shy away from me. “We can’t just pretend like it never happened, that I don’t have what I have, alright? My condition...it’s a part of me, even if I want nothing more than to throw it away. It’s something I’ve accepted, and it’s something you have to accept if you want me…”

“Hisao…” Rin closed her eyes, as if she didn’t want to acknowledge my words. Her body was trembling as I continued to hold her, unwilling to let her go until she finally opened her eyes, until the reality of the situation finally forced her to.

“I don’t want to accept it,” she responded, a tear coming down her cheek. “It’d be accepting that you can die right now, or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that until you actually die. I don’t want to think about that, because it’d be like you’d be dead already, except you’re still here which somehow makes it worse even though I can talk to you and touch you and kiss you. I don’t want to wake up and then think about you, because it’d be sweet like candy but then the aftertaste would be bitter like medicine, which is so strong the aftertaste is the only thing I can think about...and then…”

Her words trail off, and she opened her eyes just a little to look at me, her face one of pure misery. I wanted to pull her close and hold her tightly, tell her that everything would be alright, but I knew that wasn’t what I needed to say right now. She wouldn’t believe me if I did.

“Rin, tell me the truth,” I said, and looked at her with all the sincerity I could muster. “Is being with me, knowing about my heart condition, too painful for you to be with me?”

She didn’t answer immediately, but her eyes did widen at me as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. Silence followed as she stared at me, her gaze emotional yet thoughtful, as if she were pondering that question herself.

“I don’t know…” Rin answered, shaking her head again. “I don’t know, Hisao…”

“You have to know,” I replied, gently this time. “You’re the only one who can answer that question.”

“But all the answers are wrong, like a test someone gave you where you can only fail, even though the one giving you the test wants you to pass’” I could hear frustration at the edges of her voice, and her frown almost looked like a scowl. “Being with you is painful, but if I’m away from you for too long I’ll think about you too, and whether or not you’re ok or if you still want me. You’re like the sun now, except not the kind that makes me warm and sleepy, but the kind that burns my body if I get too close but freezes if it’s not there. When I slept next to you yesterday, I felt happy, then sad, then worried, then happy again. On and on and on, like a ferris wheel that didn’t stop. But when I’m not with you I just felt this...nothing…”

She went silent immediately, and shivered at the mention of this ‘nothing’ that she felt, looking afraid.

“Rin…” I wanted to say something, but the words weren’t coming out of my mouth. It was as if I knew the feelings I wanted to convey, yet I couldn’t figure out how to put those feelings into words. Something needed to be said, and soon. I took a deep breath and stared at her. “Look at me, please.”

She hesitated, but ultimately looked into my eyes once again, focusing on me.

“I love you, Rin,” I said, my voice shaky. “And I’m sorry things can’t go back to the way they were. I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to talk about my condition until it was too late. And...and I’m sorry that I can’t promise you that I’ll be with you until we’re old and gray.

“But even without my heart condition, that isn’t something I can promise you. Maybe my heart condition will kill me in fifty years, or ten, or two, or maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll walk down the street and a car will run me over, or a plane crashes straight into me. Or a meteor hits the earth and we all die.”

“Like the dinosaurs?” Rin asked, her tone still hesitant. “I told Mama I wanted to see a real dinosaur to paint, and she said a meteor killed them all. It made me sad, but she bought me a toy dinosaur for me to use. Like using a marble statue to paint a real life human.”

“Just like the dinosaurs,” I replied, nodding my head. “We can’t control when we die, Rin. Sometimes it just...happens, and it may not be fair, but that’s life. And what we can control is whether or not we want to be with each other, regardless of that.”

“But even if you die from a car crash, or getting hit by a plane, or a meteor, I wouldn’t have to think about it until it happens, like how people don’t think zombies will eat their brains until they dig out of their graves.” Rin saidt. Although it felt as if we were going around in circles, I let her speak anyways, for her to fully let out all of the thoughts and feelings bottled up inside her.

“But your heart is something I can’t not think about, even when I don’t want to think about it. You might fall down and I won’t know if it’s the kind of fall that you’ll get back up, or the kind of fall that makes you stay on the ground until someone helps you or you die. And I wouldn’t know what to do even though I need to do something…”

“Then maybe, you need to get used to it,” I suggested, inching closer to her. “Like how you’re used to doing things without your hands. If you spend more time with me, knowing my condition, then it’ll get easier. I won’t hide anything about it from you anymore, if you’re willing to accept it, little by little.”

“Hisao…” Rin seemed to consider it, though she still looked uncertain.

“Rin, I can’t promise that I’ll be by your side as much as you’d like, until we’re old and had our fill of life,” I said firmly despite the fatigue, the stress, the anxiety. It was like finding a calm in the middle of a storm. “But what I can promise is that I want to be with you, every second of every day, regardless of how long I have left. No matter what might happen, that is what I want more than anything else. If I want to live this life, then I want to live it because you’re in it.”

It was a promise from the depths of my heart. As a man of science, emotional statements like that were things that shouldn’t be considered the truth, merely something that we wish it to be. And yet I could not see it as anything but the truth, as fundamental as the laws of nature itself.

“Hisao...I want to believe you.” Rin sounded hopeful, like when she’d suggested we forget about my condition. But this hope felt more genuine, if uncertain. “I-I want to be with you, every second of your life, even if I can’t. I want to turn one second of your life into a hundred, a thousand, like someone stretching time like it’s a piece of gum, except time really can’t be stretched like that and…”

She stopped herself and simply looked at me. Despite her silence, it was clear from the look on her face what she wanted. Rin was on the edge, and she wanted me to catch her when she fell. The question she gave me wasn’t spoken, but I got it nonetheless.

Can I trust you?

I simply nodded, and that was all it took for her walls to break down. Rin fell forwards towards me, her face landing on my chest. She wasn’t the only one that finally broke down, as I wrapped my hands around her and hugged her tightly, tears streaking down my face.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry, Hisao...” Rin said, her voice muffled as she continued crying into my chest. “I know that leaving you alone was hurting you, and it also hurt me as well, like stabbing someone with a knife that doesn’t have a handle…”

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” I responded reassuringly, brushing her hair with my hands. “I forgive you.”

“Maybe I’m not good enough…” Rin said hesitantly, sounding extremely remorseful. “When you fell...had a heart attack...I didn’t do anything…”

“You’re good enough for me.”

“Maybe I’m not strong enough to help you…I wish I could take away your...heart condition, but I can’t.”

“You’re strong enough for me.”

There wasn’t anything spoken for a while afterwards, just her head pressed against my chest, and me soothing her by holding her tightly to me. Each of us needed to process what we said, and what we had to do in order to move forward together.

But, as painful as it was, we had finally moved forward. The roadblock that had paused our relationship was slowly breaking apart.

“Rin…” I murmured, looking down at her. She had been still for the past couple of minutes, and I wondered if she was sleeping. I wouldn’t put it past her, since I was getting close to passing out myself. “Maybe we should sleep now, and talk more tomorrow.”

I felt her nuzzling her head against my chest, up and down. It seemed she was awake, though unable to do much more than nod.

“If you’d like, you can sleep here,” I mentioned as well. “Just like yesterday. Just like we used to.”

Another nod from her, and I let out a deep sigh. Tonight had been long and grueling at points, but it was all worth it, as we’d begun to reach a resolution. If our life was like the romance novels I’d read today, we were not at the end just yet.

Rin pulled her head back and looked at me, still frowning. She looked calm, but there was a certain forlorn look in her eyes, as if she was longing for something.

“Hisao, I want to be close to you tonight,” Rin said, and despite how tired she looked, her voice was very insistent. “You know how when you’re teaching me physics, you said bonds between molecules are the closest things in the world? I want to be even closer than that, even though it might merge our bodies together, but we’ll still have two arms like a normal person.”

I chuckle at her odd analogy, just another one of the things I’d missed about her.

“Alright.” I responded, nodding. Rin quickly pressed her lips against mine for a brief moment, and in that instant it felt as if everything was alright.

“Help me take off my clothes,” she requested, and I obliged. From the moment she said that, I knew where this was heading. If there was any night for physical intimacy, it would be this one.

I started with her shirt, pulling it up and exposing her bra before wrapping a hand around her to unhook it. The straps fall off her shoulders and the bra falls down onto the ground. I slipped my hands down to undo the rest of her clothing, pulling down her pants and underwear until she was completely naked.

She was...beautiful, and a little bit different from the last time I saw her naked. Her hair was a little longer, her body looking a little less thin. It was all signs that she was changing, but she was still Rin Tezuka, the woman I loved more than anything.

“Thank you, Hisao,” she said before slipping back onto the bed, leaning her back against the wall. “Can I...take off your clothes?”

The request was odd, as I was always the one who took off our clothes in moments like these. Her feet were raised in preparation, and I simply nodded in response.

The next few moments were awkward, as she attempted to pull down my pants with her feet. I sat deeper in the bed, moving my body to help her as much as possible as her toes grab hold of my pants, slowly pulling it down my legs. She repeated the action with my underwear, leaving my bottom half completely naked.

“Thank you, Rin.” I said, my tone and body a little more stiff than I would have liked.

“I want to help you,” Rin responded, in the tone of voice that told me that she was speaking to herself as much as to me. “You’ve helped me so much, with my art, with who I am. The me I am now is because of you, even though parts of the new me hurt more than the old me. Now I want to help you, who you are and who you’re going to be.”

“You’ve helped me enough, staying by my side.” I reassured her, but Rin shook her head.

“I need to help you more,” Rin said, as her toes tugged at the edge of my shirt. “Right now, all I am is a Rin that can be with you, and sometimes not even then. But that’s not good enough for me, or you, even if you say it’s good enough, like saying you’re fine but you’re not really fine. I want to be a Rin that can take care of you, that can help you with your heart problem, even if I can’t get rid of it. Like how you take care of me. That’s the kind of Rin I want to be.”

Those words touched my heart, and I smiled as I let out a sniffle, though there were no tears.

“You can be that Rin, I’m sure of it,” I answered. “Thank you, and...I love you, Rin.”

For the first time in a long, long time, I saw it. Her smile, as shaky as it was, left its impression on my heart. It was the most precious sight I had ever seen, and once again I felt as if everything was going to be alright.

“I love you too, Hisao,” Rin whispered. “I will always remember that, because that is who I am.”

No more words were said afterwards as she took off my shirt, exposing my scar for her to see. That seemed to stop her for a brief moment, but she immediately closed the distance between our bodies and rested her head on my chest, her ear pressed against it as if to listen to my erratic heartbeat.

I wrapped my arms around her naked body, dragging my fingers against her skin. Once she seemed ready, her head turned upwards to face me, giving me that same look of longing.

I lean in and kiss her on the lips, which she eagerly reciprocates, responding far more forcefully than I’d expected. We continued to kiss as my hand slid down her back, neither of us wanting to separate our lips after such a long time apart. Even as I felt the need to part our lips, it was only until that feeling became too urgent to ignore that I reluctantly did so .

Rin lowered her head and knocked it against my chest a few times, and it took me a second to realize that she’s silently asking me to lay down, which I did. Rin then straddled me, her eyes never looking away from mine as she positioned herself on top of me.

I placed a hand on her hip to steady her as she lowered herself down, Rin letting out a whimper as I slowly entered her. She sank further and further down, until finally I was as deep in as I could go. Rin began to move upwards, then downwards, in a slow rhythm that set my heart racing nevertheless.

It reminded me of the last time we did this, on the roof so long ago, the sun setting as we reveled in each other’s bodies. She’d told me to stop thinking then, and while she might not have put it into words, it felt as if she was asking the same thing of me now. At least, that’s what I thought she was telling me.

That she was here right now, with me. Perhaps it was the same for her, reaffirming to herself that she was choosing to stay with me. Or maybe I was simply overthinking things, which was all the more reason to do as she said. Or didn’t say. To stop thinking and enjoy the moment.

My hands reached up to her chest, squeezing her breasts. She let out a moan in response, which I couldn’t help but adore.

What happened next was a blur as we continued to let out passions guide our actions, the sounds of our act filling the room. Our moans goaded us further and further, and I couldn’t keep my hands still, wanting to savor every part of her body.

“Rin…” I moaned as I felt my endurance about to give out. She simply gave me a nod in response, continuing to move. Not long afterwards, my mind blanked before immediately snapping back, all the fatigue I’ve been holding back hit me all at once as I closed my eyes. Despite really wanting to, I forced myself not to fall asleep just yet.

She fell on top of me, her head just below mine. I couldn’t see her face, but I could imagine that she looked exhausted. Feeling her shiver, I awkwardly tried to pull a blanket over us for warmth.

“Hisao…” Rin mumbled, her voice barely audible. “...I want to tell you something. A lot of things. But I don’t know how even though I know the words. Like knowing how to sail a ship but not knowing what direction to sail to.”

“I know, I feel the same way,” I responded as I gently rolled us until we were side by side. There were a million things I could have said to her right now, but ultimately I didn’t feel like it. I wanted this night to end as we were now, our bodies as close as they could be, the rift between us starting to mend. “We can do that later. Right now, we should sleep.”

“Mm…” Rin murmured, seemingly reaching the end of her ability to stay awake, though not without one final word. “Thank you, Hisao...for staying…”

It was the last thing I heard before falling asleep, which made my slumber a pleasant one, especially with her next to me.

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“...sao.”

I didn’t know how late in the day it was, but Rin calling my name was what finally stirred me awake. Opening my eyes, I saw that she was still right in front of me, with a worried look on her face.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, placing a hand on her cheek, which she nuzzled. It’s funny how things are already starting to go back to normal, though I reminded myself that things have inevitably changed.

“I wanted to wake you up, Hisao,” Rin said, now pressing her head against my chest like last night. “I wanted to see you open your eyes, and I wanted to hear your heartbeat, even though I know that’ll happen even if I wasn’t looking at you. It’s like watching a bird fly away even though you’ll know it’ll fly away no matter what.”

“I see…” I responded as she continued to press her ear against my chest. It seemed that this is her way of taking care of me, or at the very least confirming that I was alive. “Do you know what time it is?”

“It’s morning, but not morning because it’s later than that,” Rin answered, pulling back her head to face me. It seemed she was satisfied with hearing my heartbeat. “But it’s not noon since noon hasn’t happened. Like a body of water being bigger than a sea but not as big as an ocean, so people call it a sea even though it’s not.”

“Late morning then.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at unorthodox analogies, just another one of the many things I missed about her. “Emi’s probably going to chew me out for not running with her.”

Rin looked at me with a curious gaze, but as much as I’d loved to just stay in bed with her, I got up and got off the bed. Walking towards my desk, I went to take my pills, making no effort to hide what I’m doing from her.

As I took my pills, I kept an eye on Rin as she sat up, gauging her reaction. She looked slightly uncomfortable, though her gaze never wavered away from me, even as her body shivered a little. It was a good sign that she was continuing to look at me, even if it was obviously not a pleasant experience for her.

“Are you alright?” I asked, just in case.

“Mm, I’m alright, but also a little not alright,” Rin answered. “You need to take those, right? I know, even though I’ve never seen you take them before.”

“Yeah, they help keep me alive, though they’re not a perfect cure,” I answered truthfully, unwilling to sweeten my words. “They have a lot of side effects, but I’ve gotten used to them by now. I used to take them when you weren’t looking.”

“Mm, but now you are…” Rin noted. I nodded in response. “It’s hard to watch you, even though it’s so easy to watch you doing other things, like doing nothing, or eating food, or sleeping…”

“Or when I’m kissing you?” I interjected, a small smile on my face.

“Yes, although it’s hard to watch you when you’re kissing me because you’re so close to me,” she said, eyes still focused as I continued to take my medications. “But I need to watch you do this. It’s hard now, but it’ll get easier and easier, like someone riding a bike for the first time even though I can’t ride a bike since I have no hands. I need to accept all of you, even the part that might take you away from me.”

“Thank you,” I replied as I finished the last of my medications, feeling a little cold from the lack of clothes. “Most mornings I’ll probably wake up a little earlier than usual to go and run with Emi. The exercise will help keep me in shape. Make my heart stronger.”

“I thought you didn’t want to run with Emi. Are you changing your mind, like how I sometimes change my mind about wanting one paint but then get another, even though I didn’t think about getting that other paint until I dip my brush in it?”

“It’s not that I didn’t like it, I just didn’t see the point up until now,” I explained as I sat back down beside her. “Even if I stay in shape, I didn’t think the time it might buy me would be worth it. An extra week? An extra month or year? And it wouldn’t be enough if something really terrible happened to set off my heart.

“But I was only thinking about myself. Now that you’re with me, any time I can buy is worth it, if it allows me to spend more of it with you. Even if my chances are increased by only a tiny fraction, I’d still want to improve it, for your sake.”

Rin leaned over to rest against me.. “Thank you, Hisao.”

“So,” I asked, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. “What do you want to do today?”

“Be with you,” Rin answered immediately. “For a lot of reasons. Because I’m sorry, because I want to see you again, because I want to talk to you again. I have a lot of reasons, but they’re all for the same thing, like fueling a car because you want to go to many different places.”

“I’d love nothing more,” I replied.

We spent the rest of the day in my room. Sometimes we talked about important things, sometimes about more mundane topics, and sometimes we didn’t do anything but look at each other as we leaned on one another. Regardless of what we did, the mere presence of her was enough to brighten my mood far more than before.

We were returning to how we once were, but I knew that we needed to be stronger than that. But for now, I was content with simply enjoying time with her again. Slowly but surely, we were moving forward together. There was still a lot of work to be done, but I felt as if the hardest part was behind us.

[Razoredge]

Another pleasant reading, a long one yes, but it was very pleasant. I really like the light at the end of the chapter. I don't know what you planned for the other chapters, but I really like what you did on this one. That amount of hope you give to them after what they went through in the previous chapters. And just for that, I want to thank you. I don't know what will happen in the next chapters, maybe they will stay happy together, maybe they will have a harsh breakup, I don't know. But that amount of hope was something needed, after what happened. As usual, your writing quality is just awesome, I'm kinda jealous to be honest. We're talking about Rin, I don't know if she really realized what happens with Hisao, but she shows some actual signs of comprehension, and that's really good, especially for someone like Rin. But I do hope they will stay happy together. If it doesn't happen, I'm sure you will write something really good, even if it's really sad. Once again, thanks for another great reading.

[lividjava]

God reading this has been absolutely wonderful, everyone is written true to form and its just... idk everything just fits

[ShizuneFan2019]

Hey there! I've wanted to read your story for a long time, but I've been so busy with life and writing my own work (that's Precious Friendships) that I couldn't make up any time for it. This weekend I have some reading time, so I decided to take a break from writing and read your story instead, both as leisure and to increase my vocabulary.

To be frank I'm quite impressed! The early chapter grammatical errors are admittedly a bit annoying, and I really don't like the use of past tense throughout the story, but nonetheless it's well-written. In my own story, I've written about almost all of the main characters in the game, with the notable exception of Rin, who I don't understand at all and thus cannot write anything about her. Your story gave me a lot of insights about her personality, and made me realize why I haven't been able to include her in my story. (Correct me if I'm wrong) Like many real-world artists, Rin is philosophical, imaginative (I found a lot of metaphors in your story), takes things slowly, and sort of deviates from the social norms. That's quite opposite to Shizune who I write about: Efficient, strict, self-restraining, and leading. Since I'm the Shizune kind of person, it's difficult for me to process Rin, but your story helped me a lot in this aspect. Maybe I'll write one chapter about Rin, but I'll need to absorb a lot of things from your story in order to do that. If I do, I'll reference some of the events in your story too, if you don't mind.

Edit: I'm now reading Chapter 14. Since it's quite long, I'll leave my comments here first. I'm very glad that we're in a similar, if not the same, wavelength, on most of the characters.

Hisao: I really love how he slowly matures after getting into a relationship. I also love how Rin's personality affects Hisao, and I agree that this is the way to go when writing about him.
Hisao's family: I absolutely agree with Hisao's mom's concerns about her son getting a girlfriend who is unable to take care of him. This is what I always have in my mind as well: If they're to make a family, it'll be extremely difficult.
Rin: The accident you depicted, along with her response, is quite similar to what happened in Sisterhood. Like in Sisterhood, if she wants her relationship to stay around, she will have to grow like Hanako as well.
Miki: Enjoying it. I think we both agree that "bantering" is the best way to write about her. I wish you made her conversations even more casual, though.
Emi: Running to avoid problems. I'll have to use this fact in my story too. We both agree that dessert is a girl's best friend.
Hanako: The only part of the story I feel awkward about, probably because my impression on Hanako has been largely shaped by Sisterhood. I just cannot see how she became so forward in such a short amount of time as to requesting others to be friends and inviting others to her room. That said, I appreciate the idea of Emi's cheerful personality rubbing off on Hanako.
Iwanako: The idea of splitting her name is brilliant, given that "Iwai" and "Nanako" are valid surname and given names. We both agree that "forward" is the best way to write about her.

Now being able to grasp her personality a bit, an interesting issue I want to learn about Rin is how she came up with all these traits. I've been able to figure out, at least partially, the other girls, but not Rin. For Shizune, it's her deafness and her father; for Lilly, it's mainly her upbringing; for Emi, it's her accident; for Hanako, also her accident. I hope I can find my answer in the remainder of your story, and this could be one aspect you may look into while writing.

[MoashLannister]

Chapter 15: Rebound

The sound of a school bell had always been a familiar noise, no matter how long I’ve gone without hearing it. Once that bell rang, it felt as if I’d just heard it yesterday, instead of a few months prior. Mutou stepped into the class, signalling the official end of our winter break.

“Good morning,” Mutou said, with the class reacting in tired greetings and yawns. “I realize that you’ve already begun to miss winter break, but now is no time to act wistful. Your finals are arriving soon, and it is my duty to ensure each and every one of you passes the science portion of the test.”

The subject of finals had been on my mind very little during winter break, as other and more immediate concerns had occupied my thoughts. Now that the break was over with, along with Mutou bringing it up, the tests immediately shot to the forefront of my mind. One set of final exams to determine how we did as high schoolers, and what colleges we were allowed to enroll in.

Of course, that’d be if we passed. Failure would mean that college wouldn’t even be on the table, which didn’t worry me all that much. I was confident in my academic abilities, with the only real question being, how well I would pass.

Not to mention that the winter break had had me feeling worried enough, to the point that I’d gotten a little desensitized to the emotion.

Mutou began teaching, scribbling several subjects onto the chalkboard which he deemed the most relevant for finals, though with the added caveat that we should diligently study all subjects regardless. A fair bit of the class still seemed too apathetic to truly focus on what he was saying, though some did listen with both attentiveness and worry, with Shizune being her normal diligent self.

After a few minutes, my interest in the class also began to wane, and I found myself glancing out the window. My thoughts turned to Rin, as they often did these days, and about how she was doing in her class. Yesterday was the first night we’d slept in separate rooms in a while, which she’d accepted with a lot of reluctance.

It had only been a short while since that fateful night at my room, where we finally began to sort our issues. Since then, things have gone back to something similar to where we were before I went to the hospital, though with a few obvious changes.

I’d begun my daily runs with Emi in earnest now, waking up early every morning to get some exercise with her, though she allowed me a few ‘cheat days’. It was exhausting at first, but over the next few days it became more and more routine, and now it was simply a part of my daily schedule.

The effects it had on my body were unnoticeable to me thus far, though Emi insisted that I was getting more fit, and that my body could take more punishment. She had been nudging me to push past my comfort zone, which I slowly did. Running a little farther, and a little faster. Small steps to a result that I would hopefully see in due time.

Rin was also more accepting of my condition, which was the biggest source of relief I could have ever had. Granted, she was still very much afraid of the consequences, but she didn’t try to pretend the problem there anymore. Before my runs, she insisted on watching me take my medications, in an effort to get used to it. Recently she would often talk to me as I took them, which made it easier for the both of us.

All in all, my winter break ended on a sweeter note than I could ever hoped for. It didn’t completely wash away the bitterness of what happened before, but it was a step in the right direction. Now it was about keeping on that course.

“Ahem, Mr Nakai.”

A voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I turned to see Mr Mutou giving me a disapproving look, an incomplete equation on the chalkboard. Thankfully, it’s one I’m familiar with, and so I give my answer with a fair amount of confidence.

“That is correct. Good work, and I expect that level of performance in your finals.” Mr Mutou said, though the look on his face suggested to me that he was silently telling me to remain focused on class, even if I did get the right answer.

Deciding to take his advice, I pushed my thoughts of Rin to the side and focused on the class, which worked for Mr Mutou’s class. Given the subject in question, it wasn’t hard to concentrate on a subject that I had a fair amount of passion for.

As the classes went on however, and the subjects changed to ones more and more uninteresting to me, my thoughts began to slip back to Rin. By the time of our final class before lunch, I was barely listening to what the teacher was saying, though it was thankfully disguised by the rest of the class being in a similar distracted state.

I thought of my mother, and what she would think about our relationship. She would most likely still disapprove, even after we reconciled and with Rin being more aware of my condition. That disapproval came with a valid point, but at the same time, I felt as if it were a bigger one than she made it out to be.

Still, it would be best for me to inform her and Dad, especially now that finals were coming up. Once I graduated, they’ll be pretty instrumental in supporting me during my early college years, especially if I intended to stay in my own apartment with Rin.

That promise I made to her on that hill. I haven’t thought about it much lately, but it’s definitely still something I intend to make a reality. But for that to happen, I still would want the blessing of my parents.

The ringing of the school bell interrupted my train of thought yet again as lunchtime arrived, much to the pleasure of the class, who all eagerly stood up to head towards the cafeteria. I stood up slower than them, and instead headed to the back of the class, where Miki was already with Hanako.

“Man, classes are extra boring after a long break,” Miki said with a loud yawn. “Did you get any of what they were saying?”

“Bits and pieces.” I answered, trying to recall the classes, yet only getting a few key sentences at most.

“S-Same here…” Hanako added, slowly nodding her head.

“Well that’s still bits and pieces more than me,” Miki commented, rubbing her temple. “God, finals are gonna suck.”

“You’ll pull through,” I insisted, giving her a reassuring smile. “Besides, we’re all going to study together, right? Several heads are better than one.”

“Well that would depend on the heads...” Miki said sarcastically, pouting a little before giving me a wide grin. “I missed you, Hisao.”

“Was I gone?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean, dork,” she responded, playfully punching me in the shoulder, causing Hanako to giggle a little. “Good to see you’re acting like you again.”

“Thanks.” The three of us simply smiled at each other for a moment before I said, “Alright, let’s go find Emi and Rin and head to lunch already.”

“R-Rooftop?” Hanako said, almost like a suggestion. It had been a while since we'd eaten up there, and I began to want it now that she brought it up. “I-It’s not too cold today...a-at least I hope not .

I nodded in response, and the three of us exited the classroom where something almost collided with me, missing me by a few inches. That something just happened to be Emi running down the hallway, stopping right next to me while bouncing up and down, being her usual energized self.

“Man, you guys are so slow!” Emi commented loudly, drawing the attention of nearby students. “Lunch bell was forever ago.”

“Really, felt like it just rang to me,” Miki said in a tone that was clearly trying to provoke her, causing Emi to glare at her. “Anyways, we were thinking about eating on the rooftop.”

“Me and Rin were actually thinking the same thing,” Emi responded, sounding enthusiastic about the idea. “So that’s where we’re eating.”

A few seconds later Rin slowly walked down the hallway, her face as neutral as always, though she seemed to brighten a little as she spotted me. The past few days have definitely put her in a better place as well, the others telling me that she no longer froze at the mention of my condition, another reassurance about her acceptance of my condition.

“Hello, Hisao, Hanako, Miki,” Rin said with a slight nod. “Today is a new school day, but it doesn’t feel new. Like playing a game that is technically new, but feels like an old game with a new name, making it both new and old.”

“Urgh, can we not talk about school?” Emi said, rubbing her temples similarly to how Miki did earlier. “I swear, if I have to hear the world ‘final’ one more time…”

“But you just said final, and now I said it. What will you do now?” Rin asked curiously, causing the rest of us to chuckle at Emi’s expense.

“Let’s just get our food already,” Emi muttered, and we all headed to the cafeteria to grab some food before heading to the roof. As we made our way there, I felt Rin lean her head on my shoulder.

“You alright, Rin?” I asked, concerned.

“Mm, I didn’t get to see you this morning,” Rin noted as we continued to walk like this, attracting the attention of several students passing us by. “During class, I kept thinking of you. I wanted to go to your class just to look at you, like people paying just to look at a fish. But I didn’t even though I wanted to, and I kept thinking about it even though I know I won’t do it.”

“I hope I’m more interesting to look at than a fish,” I noted playfully before adding more wistfully, “I felt the same way during class. Almost all I could think about was you...or I suppose us, to be more accurate.”

“Us, you and me,” Rin said, sounding as if she enjoyed saying that. “I’m happy that there’s an ‘us’, Hisao. That it’s you and me.”

It was nice to know that she was thinking about me, even more so her enjoyment at the idea of us together. Perhaps I would have thought of these things as a given once upon a time, but after the tribulations we’d been through, it was something I want to cherish every time it is brought up.

“I’m happy too.” I responded, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

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“Man, this karaage is good,” Emi says in surprise, taking another piece and immediately popping it into her mouth. “I can’t believe they’re serving this in the cafeteria now.”

“I-I think it’s only for a limited time…” Hanako pointed out, taking one from her own cardboard box and eating it.

“Still, it’s nice to have something different for a change,” Miki said, though instead of grabbing some chicken, she went and sipped from her carton of milk. “Enjoy it while we still have time to, you know?”

We were all sitting down at the rooftop, the wind gently blowing against our faces. Each of us had a little corner where we settled on, not far away from each other, though Rin was right next to me. I saw her move her head again, and I fed her another piece of chicken, which she ate in a manner similar to a chicken. It was rather cute.

“You’re going to use your legs anytime soon, Rin?” Emi asked, pointing a chopstick at me. “He’s been doing all the work, you know? It’s like he’s serving for two.”

Rin seemed confused at the statement, and I was too admittedly. Surely I wasn’t feeding her everything up until now, but then I tried to recall a recent time where Rin ate something using her feet, and I drew a blank.

“I want Hisao to feed me,” she stated in a way one would state that water is wet. “So I ask him to feed me, and he feeds me. Like asking for a waiter refill at a restaurant. I can do it again and again, as long as I want to drink water. And I still want to, unless he doesn’t want to, then I don’t want to. Do you want to, Hisao?”

“I do,” I said.

“Then I want to,” Rin said in a conclusive tone, opening her mouth so I could place another piece of food into her mouth.

“You two…” Emi muttered, shaking her head slightly as she ate.

“Just making up for lost time,” I noted as I ate something on my own, though all that did was make Emi glare at me. She seemed a little more grumpy than usual for some reason. “You alright?”

“She’s just jealous of what you two have,” Miki said in a teasing tone, pointing her chopsticks holding some food in Emi’s direction. “If you want someone to feed you, I can do it. Say ahhh~”

Emi simply rolled her eyes as Miki chuckled, stuffing herself full of chicken without answering, causing me to feel a little worried about her. It could just be nothing, but if it wasn’t, I’d at least like to know what the problem is. Before I could say anything, Hanako spoke up.

“E-Emi, i-is something wrong?” she asked, sounding curious and concerned. “Y-You don’t have to answer, but if w-we can help you feel better, then…”

Emi looked at Hanako, who gave her a nervous yet calming smile, and deflated. She slumped against the wall and let out a sigh, swallowing her food before properly answering her.

“Sorry,” she said, looking oddly tired. “It’s just this whole finals thing has got me all wound up. Track club is going to cut our time so we can focus on our studies, and not to mention all the prep I need to do that will probably cut even more into my running time.”

“Well, sadly you can’t run your way into a good grade, otherwise you’d be a straight A student,” Miki commented jokingly before her smile faded into something a little more serious. “But yeah, it’s going to be a real pain. I’d blame my parents dirvorce hearing if I fail, but honestly I probably wouldn’t have prepared much even without that happening.”

“Mm, I don’t think I will fail,” Rin commented, though her tone was far from confident. “But that’s because I wasn’t thinking about it, like a sailor sailing a boat through a storm without thinking he will drown. But now that I am thinking about it, I’m thinking of failing, even though I don’t want to fail and I’m not sure if I will fail.”

Hanako seemed intimidated by the comments, as if the looming threat of finals had dawned upon her. She turned to me with a look in her eyes that hoped that I had something to say, which I did.

“Come on, you guys are making it a bigger problem than it is,” I said, trying to sound like I was absolutely sure, which I wasn’t. While it may not be affecting me as badly, the prospect of failing my final exams was definitely something on the back of my mind. “I’m sure if we properly study and take notes, we’ll be able to get through the exams just fine. Especially if we help each other, like how we did before winter break.”

“You mean you helped us with science,” Emi said, sounding unconvinced. “We still have other subjects to go through.”

“I-I can probably focus on literature and Japanese…” Hanako pointed out. “I-I’m good at those, s-so I can probably help you guys...”

“I can probably also help with math,” I added, glancing at Hanako as we smiled at each other, feeling as if we’re both helping each other pitch the same thing. “It’s not by bread and butter like Science, but I like to think I have a good handle with it. That’s four subjects down already.”

“Guess I have to pitch in somehow, huh?” Miki said, looking deep in thought before answering. “I guess I’m pretty good at social studies. It’s about the one subject I kind of like doing a test on...kind of. So yeah, that’s what I’ll be focusing on.”

Suddenly, all eyes turned to Emi, whose doubts seemed to be partially gone. While she still looked uncertain and nervous, she took a good look at all of us and showed us a fierce and fiery smile, similar to when she’s doing a run.

“Alright, maybe this won’t be that bad after all,” Emi agreed. “Leave health to me. I’d be a pretty bad athlete if I didn’t know how that works. That still leaves Home Eco, Music, Art and...urgh...English, not to mention a few others...”

“Mm...I’m an artist, so I should be able to do Art,” Rin pointed out. “Even though I don’t think you need to pass an art exam to be an artist. Plenty of artists never pass their art exam, or even take one before becoming famous, so why do I need to go to an art college?”

I was tempted to answer that question, but decided not to. We could discuss college later, after we’d all passed our final exams.

“Alright, so we all got something we can specialize in. That person is in charge of helping the rest of us study in that subject,” Emi pointed out, eating once again. “As for the other three, we’ll just have to bite the bullet and struggle together. How hard can it be, right?”

There was a moment of silence after that, as all of us contemplated the difficulty of those subjects. In particular, English was going to be a massive pain, at least for me.

“...Anyways, when should we start our little study group?” Miki asked. “I’d also ask how often, but we’re probably going to study non-stop until exams are done and over with.”

“Urgh, I don’t think I can start tonight. I still need to get all the running out of my system...or as much of it as I can,” Emi muttered, causing Miki to chuckle. “How about we start on Sunday? No classes, so we can spend all day trying to stuff our brains full of useless junk that we’ll only need for exams.”

“Sounds good to me,” Miki responded. “What about you guys?”

“T-That sounds good to me,” Hanako answered, sounding mildly excited. “S-Sunday it is.”

“Sure,” I added. Sunday seemed like as good a time as any to begin studying. “We can decide on what and where to study later.”

“Mm, it seems like the right time,” Rin said, closing her eyes. “Even though there’s not really a right time. There’s a wrong time, which is just before or during exam time, so there’s a wrong time but not a right time. Like a clock that keeps moving but stops after midnight.”

“Alright then, we shall begin our studying on Sunday.” Emi declared, raising her hand for no reason.

Not long after, the faint sound of the school bell could be heard, and all of us scrambled to finish our food before leaving the rooftop. As we made our way back to classes, Rin stopped just as we were about to separate, looking extremely hesitant.

“Mm, I know I need to leave you now, but I also feel like I need to stay with you,” Rin said, looking annoyed at the contradiction. “Like needing to drink but also feeling like you need better water than tap water, even though there’s no other sources of water so you’ll be thirsty if you don’t drink from the tap.”

“I’ll be fine,” I assured her, planting a kiss on her cheek for good measure. “The moment classes are done, I’ll go right to your classroom, alright?”

She didn’t answer immediately, but ultimately nodded, heading to her classroom. All the while, her eyes looked back at me until she couldn’t physically see me any longer. I also headed back to my class, and arrived just before it began.

The rest of the classes were more of the same from the morning, with teachers emphasizing the importance of our final exams, though their repeated insistence ironically made it sound less imperative to me. My thoughts were once again not on what was being taught, but on Rin.

I tried to imagine our lives after graduation, with each of us pursuing our own careers. College would probably take more out of our time together than at Yamaku, but in return we’d be living together, something that would be a major step towards the rest of our relationship.

Of course, as I thought about it, my mother’s disapproval of that idea hung over my head. Even if she did support me, I knew that her worries would not be assuaged. As much as we clashed over how much help I needed regarding my condition, I didn’t want her to feel that way, especially after my hospital visit when I visited her. There had to be a way to placate her.

After thinking over it for a bit, an idea formed in my head. One that would require the help of someone, but it should put my mother at ease. As for who that someone might be, I had a few options, though one person in particular stood out to me. Someone who could benefit from it as much as me and Rin would.

It would certainly be a good way to keep that person around, given how isolated she was in the past. While I would ask for her opinion later, I suspected Rin would probably approve as well.

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As the school bell rang for the final time, I immediately packed my things and gave a brief goodbye to Miki and Hanako, who seemed to have their own things to do after school. I quickly walked through the hallways, not quite bursting into a run, though the temptation was certainly there. Perhaps Emi had influenced me in that regard.

Rin was waiting outside the classroom, immediately walking towards me once she saw me. The two of us stopped right in the middle of the hallway.

“It feels like you’re late, even though you’re not late,” Rin noted. “Like going through a traffic jam to get to work. Even though you get there before you can be fired, you still feel mad because there’s a traffic jam, which isn’t a jam but is called jam.”

“Sorry,” I said, but she shook her head before resting it on my chest. “So...what do you want to do today?”

Rin didn’t answer immediately, continuing to rest her head on my chest before breaking away from me, walking away. It seemed that her answer couldn’t be conveyed by words, so I quickly followed her as she went down the hallway.

We exited the school side by side, leaving me wondering where exactly she wanted to go. It only took a few minutes for me to realize it, as we were soon heading in the direction of the girl’s dormitories.

Soon we were inside the building, just outside her door. I unlocked and opened it for her, and she quickly entered. I followed her in and closed the door behind us before taking a good look at her room. It’s been a long time since I had seen it, only getting accounts from the others over the winter break, describing it as a mess even by her standards.

Now though, it was surprisingly clean, with all of her art supplies tucked neatly into a corner. The paintings on her walls were the same as far as I could recall, but the room was far more organized than the impression that I had been given.

“I cleaned my room,” Rin said, seeming to know what I was thinking. “Emi had that exact same look when I asked for her help, even though you two don’t have the same faces, with one of you looking like a cartoon and the other like a real person.”

“When did you do this?” I asked.

“Mm, after the first time I began to sleep with you. Not sex, even though we did have sex that first time,” Rin answered, heading to the bed and sitting on it. “I knew you were going to come here later, even though I don’t know how I knew or when you would come here. When I thought about you seeing my room when it was still messy, I felt my head getting messy, like my head was also a room but one that went through an earthquake.”

“Well, I suppose I do like a clean room,” I said, sitting down beside her. “Still, you didn’t need to do that for me. I can enjoy a little bit of messiness, especially coming from you.”

“Maybe one day or two days, but not a week. It’s like eating mashed potatoes every day,” Rin responded as she lay down, eyes glued to the ceiling. “Eventually you’ll hate mash potatoes, and then you’ll hate the chef who made them. We’re going to be living together, so I shouldn’t keep things messy for too long.”

It was nice that she was thinking about living together, as well as making sure not to make things too difficult for me.

“Well, for most of the apartment, I agree,” I responded, laying down beside her, though my eyes were focused upon her instead of the ceiling. “But assuming we get a nice place, we can have a room reserved for your painting and artwork. You can make it as messy as you want.”

“Mm, you say that, but I still wouldn’t be allowed to pour gasoline on the floor and set it on fire,” Rin responded, closing her eyes. “Even though I don’t want to do that, you said I can make it as messy as I want, but I still can’t make it that messy even though I don’t want it to be that messy. Like not wanting to feed dog food to a dolphin.”

“There are limits to everything.” I agreed, reaching my hand out to brush her cheek.

“Even your love for me?” The question caught me off guard, though Rin didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with that. “You said you would leave me alone if I didn’t show up that night. Was that the limit of your love?”

It took me a lot of thought for me to come up with an honest answer, though she waited patiently for me to respond.

“If you look at it one way, I suppose that would be the limit of my love,” I admitted, sounding a bit reluctant in answering. “But looking at it another way, if it would only hurt you, then me letting you go would also be out of love. No matter what, I wanted what was best for you, because I love you.”

Rin finally looked away from the ceiling to gaze at me, and simply nodded. “I understand that, even though I feel like I shouldn’t...Thank you, Hisao.”

“You’re welcome,” I responded as she closed the distance between our bodies, resting her head below mine. “Thank you for staying by my side, Rin.”

We laid there together for a while, not saying anything as time went by. Most would consider it a waste of time, especially with exams so close, but I considered it a necessity. Such moments were what made our relationship stronger, the quiet understanding that we were there for one another, through all our problems past and future.

Rin suddenly sat up, and went to the corner where her art supplies were. “Hisao, take off your shirt please.”

“...Excuse me?” I said, confused by the sudden request. I knew that it wasn’t because she wanted to sleep with me, as she was much more direct in her desires for that, so I was left wondering what she wanted me to strip.

“I want to draw you shirtless,” Rin explained, taking some pencil and a sketchbook with her feet and positioning them on the floor, leaning back against the cupboard. “People draw other people naked all the time, even though some of the people are statues and they still get embarrassed even though their private parts are just marble instead of the actual thing. Like people getting aroused from a painting, even though it’s just paint.”

“Is that why you want to draw me shirtless?” I asked, hoping that wasn’t the case. “You know, the real thing is always better, especially when that person is more than willing to sleep with you.”

“That’s now why I want to draw you shirtless,” Rin responded without any hint of embarrassment whatsoever. “I can tell you why I wanted to draw you, but I feel like I want to tell you after I begin drawing. Like movies where the old master explains the training after it began, even though I’m not training you, unless it’s training you to become shirtless. I don’t think you need training for that. I did, but that’s because I had no hands.”

“I don’t need training for that,” I mimicked her words, and just to prove it, began unbuttoning my uniform and taking it off. With my chest exposed, I feel a slight chill, though it wasn’t enough to make me shiver. “See?”

“I am seeing, that’s why I wanted to draw you,” Rin said, and began drawing on her sketchbook. “Don’t move.”

“Can I talk?” I asked, which seemed to make her pause in consideration.

“You can, but try not to move your mouth too much.” Rin requested, and I complied.

Despite being given permission, I didn’t talk all that much as she continued to sketch me, making extremely erratic scribbles onto her sketchbook. Sometimes she would move her feet so fast I could barely keep up, and other times it would go so slowly that it almost looked like she stopped entirely.

“How much have you drawn…” I asked, deciding to break the silence.

“Your head,” Rin responded, slowing down once again. “Your shoulders, but it’s hard to draw the rest of it.”

I found that a little odd. Compared to the many minute details a face could have, the body should be relatively simple in comparison, with only minor muscular details. I thought about what would make it hard for her to draw it, until a thought crossed my mind. The one difference that set me apart from most other bodies, and while it technically would add much difficulty to a sketch of me, there was another reason why it would be troublesome.

“You’re trying to draw my scar, aren’t you?” I asked, though a part of me already knew that it was the answer. Rin simply nodded in response, not saying anything as she continued drawing.

“I was going to tell you, but you figured it out before I could, like someone spoiling a movie,” Rin said. “Did you figure out why I want to draw you with your scar? I feel like you do, but I also feel like asking even though I know you probably know.”

“I have some idea,” I answered, knowing that it’s her way of trying to further accept my condition. “Mind telling me anyways?”

Rin stopped for a moment, looking into my eyes before nodding again, though she didn’t say anything afterwards. I simply waited for her to speak again as she continued to sketch, her pace slowing and quickening at a seemingly random pattern.

“I tried drawing you,” Rin explained, breaking the silence. “When I didn’t want to see you, but I wanted to see you. Like wanting to watch a show but not wanting to see the boring parts. So I thought I would just draw you, so I can have a you to look at, even if it’s not actually you.”

“I see…” My mind suddenly recalled one of Emi’s accounts of her room during winter break, with things scattered everywhere, most of them being paper with scribbles on them.

“Even though I can remember your face and your body, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get it right,” Rin muttered, her voice growing quieter. “When I looked at my drawings of you, it was like looking at a jigsaw puzzle that had some of the pieces missing, and when I tried to fill in those pieces they were the wrong shape and the wrong color. I don’t even like jigsaw puzzles…”

I didn’t really know what to say to that, and simply nodded at her, recognizing the turmoil she was in during those days. It wasn’t all that dissimilar to my own, as my memories had been colored by the distance that had come between us.

“But now I think...I think I can finish the puzzle,” Rin said, still sounding unsure. “Just a little bit more.”

This time, I knew exactly what to say. “I believe in you.”

“Thank you, Hisao.” Rin responded, a smile forming on her face. “It’s still hard, but you’re helping me.”

“Like someone putting together the pieces, even though they’re not touching them with their hands?” I said, using her analogous way of speaking.

“Yes, just like that.”

Silence followed as I stayed in place for her to sketch me, Rin seeming to draw at a more even pace now. Occasionally I would glance out the window, the sun shining down brightly thanks to a clear sky.

“I’m done,” Rin said, placing her pencil down while staring at the sketch. “You can put your shirt back on, or not. I already have a permanently shirtless Hisao here, even though I prefer a real shirtless Hisao.”

“When you put it like that, it almost makes me want to go shirtless,” I noted, though I began to button my shirt anyways as I had been feeling more and more of the cold. “Are you pleased with your drawing of me?”

Rin nodded. “Come and look.”

I got out of the bed and went to her little corner, sitting down and leaning on the cupboard alongside her. Rin passed the sketchbook to me, which I took while glancing at what she drew. The drawing was a fairly realistic sketch of me, far removed from the abstract work she often did, although I felt as if some of my features were a little embellished. Not that I minded, considering that this was how Rin saw me.

I glanced over at my chest and saw the scar, looking extremely accurate to how it was in reality. Despite that, I did notice that it was drawn a lot more simply than the others, with what I assumed were far fewer pencil strokes compared to other parts of my body. Whether that was because there was little need to or because she didn’t want to, I couldn’t tell.

“It looks great,” I said in an encouraging tone. “I’m glad you drew me with a smile on my face.”

“You were smiling while I was drawing your face, so I drew your smile,” Rin answered. “Even though you weren’t smiling when I drew other parts of you. Like building a machine that has different parts that change color every hour.”

“I think people in general are a bit like that,” I noted as she rested her head on my shoulder. “If you ever wanted to sketch me again, just ask.”

“Mm…” Rin mumbled out tiredly. “Hisao...tell me about the future, even though you aren’t a fortune teller. I want to have a memory of it now, even though it hasn’t happened yet, like asking for a burger during medieval times when a burger hasn’t been invented yet.”

“The future, huh?” I whispered, feeling similarly tired despite not doing anything. Maybe her fatigue was contagious. “Well, after we graduate, we’ll be going to college. Me in one focusing on science, you in an art college.”

“Not the same college, even though some colleges have both art and science.”

“Yeah, but we’ll be going to ones that specialize in what we want to do,” I mentioned. “Before our semester properly begins, we’ll scout out a nice apartment. Not too big, so we won’t have to waste too much time cleaning it.”

“One room for my art stuff, and one room where we sleep,” she said. “That’s enough rooms for us, even though we need a bathroom, but I don’t need to say it because we’ll already have it. A home without a bathroom is like a restaurant with no spoons or forks or chopsticks.”

“Yeah…” I muttered, the idea I’d had earlier popped into my head, making me wonder if this was the right time to ask her about it. Since her mind was already on the future, I decided that it was best to have her thoughts about it. “Actually...I was thinking that we’d need a little more room than that.”

Rin eyed me with a curious stare, letting me gather my thoughts before I elaborated.

“I was thinking that we can have a third person living with us,” I said, trying to make it sound like a casual proposition. “It would mean that we’d have someone extra to do shopping and cleaning, not to mention the fact that rent would be cheaper since it’d be divided by three instead of just us two.”

Rin’s answer was a very simple, “And…?”

“And it’d get my mother off my back,” I admitted, feeling a little worried at bringing her up. “She still doesn’t trust us to live on our own together, especially after...I went to the hospital. So I think a third person living there might make her feel more secure about things.”

Rin didn’t answer immediately, and in fact looked down on the ground, a frown on her face. It was clear that the subject of my parents was a sore spot, but at the same time I felt as if it needed to be brought up.

“Does she hate me?” Rin asked, sounding just a little bit afraid.

“No, not at all,” I reassured her, and not simply out of a desire to placate her either. My mother had made it clear that while she had issues with my relationship with Rin, she did not bear any hatred towards her. It was something I was thankful about, even if she still opposed her. “She just feels...very weird about our relationship, because she doesn’t really know what we’ve been through together.”

She didn’t answer that, still looking down at the ground. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to me, in an attempt to comfort her.

“I’m sorry, Rin,” I whispered, letting out a sigh. “But as much as I want our future to be perfect, life isn’t like that.”

“I know, we need to have good and bad, like eating a meal with steak and peanuts. I don’t really like peanuts,” Rin said, looking up at me. “Thank you, Hisao. For giving me peanuts.”

“No problem,” I responded, feeling a little relieved that I no longer had to hide anything from her. It might be difficult for her to process it, but at least she’s willing to.

“A third person living with us,” Rin repeated, closing her eyes once again. “It’s like a boat with three sails. You only really need one or two, but a third will make it faster. But it might also make the boat too fast when the wind blows.”

“Yeah,” I answered, having some idea of what she meant. “It can’t just be anybody. It’d need to be someone we trust, and who wouldn’t mind living with us for a few years. Someone who we like being around more often than not.”

“Mm, I think I know who you’re going to ask, even though I don’t really know,” Rin stated, her eyes still closed. “Her living with us will help her too, if I know who you’re going to ask. If I don’t, then it’d be like assuming you’ll give me chocolate on White Day, but you give me durians instead.”

“It is who you think it is...I think,” I said with a bit of a chuckle. “Do you think she’ll accept?”

“I think she’ll give the answer she’ll give when you ask her,” Rin responded, finally opening her eyes. “I’m getting sleepy, Hisao.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind a nap.” I got up to my feet, with Rin doing the same. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything productive today.”

Rin didn’t say anything, and simply went to lay down on the bed, gazing at me all the while. I followed, laying down alongside her. The two of us stared at each other, refusing to close our eyes as I wrapped my arms around her.

“I love you, Hisao,” Rin whispered. “I felt like I haven’t said it a lot, so I wanted to say it now even though you know.”

“I know. I love you too, Rin,” I responded, only now beginning to close my eyes. “I want to be in the world where you live. Always.”

Rin’s response was to rest her head against my chest, gently brushing against it. She didn't say a word, but there wasn’t any need to. Not long after, I drifted off to sleep with her in my arms, and a smile on my face.

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When we woke up, the sun had already begun to set, and we decided to lay in bed for a little longer before finally getting up. It was too late to get anything resembling a decent dinner, so I offered to get something from a vending machine to fill our stomachs, which she accepted.

“Are you staying tonight, Hisao?” Rin asked just before I opened the door.

I paused and thought about it for a few seconds, before answering. “Do you want me to stay over?”

“Yes,” Rin stated plainly. “But if you don’t want to, then I don’t want to, even though I do want to. Like not wanting to be given money from your parents, even if you would take money if it fell from the sky.”

We did have school the next day, which made me a bit hesitant on staying over at the girl’s dorm. But seeing Rin’s face as I awoke from our nap made me realize how much I couldn’t stand being apart from her, not to mention the longing look in her eyes. While she may not be directly pushing me towards saying yes, it was clear that she wanted me to.

“Well, I’m sure I can sneak back into my dorm for an early shower tomorrow, especially since I’ll be running with Emi in the morning,” I said, giving her a smile. “So sure, I’ll stay here tonight.”

“Thank you, Hisao.” Rin said, smiling as well.

“I’ll go back to my room and get a change of clothes, then grab some dinner,” I responded, finally opening the door. “You sure you don’t want anything in particular?”

“I want what you choose for me,” Rin answered, causing me to chuckle. Her smile soon faded however, looking a little more serious. “Can you...bring your pills here? You need to take them, and I want to see it again.”

There was a brief moment of silence before I answered, feeling a certain emotion that I couldn’t explain when she asked that.

“Yeah, I will,” I assured her. “Anything else you want me to bring?”

“A blue horse, but I don’t think you have one of those.” Rin said, and once again I’m unable to discern whether she’s making a joke or not. Regardless, I gave her one final smile before heading out to my dorm room.

As I exited the girl’s dorm building, I looked at the sky as it began to fully transition into night, my thoughts turning to when me and Rin would be living together. I couldn’t help but imagine our apartment having a balcony, with a great view of the sky for her to stare at.

Will that become a reality? It was a question that I would have the answer to soon. Perhaps sooner than I was prepared for.

Apart from that, the walk to my room remained uneventful, despite encountering Kenji along the way. A part of me wondered what he was doing, though I assumed it had something to do with those feminist delusions of his.

Once I got into my room, I changed into more casual clothes, and quickly packed my medications and a few books into a bag. As I was putting my pill bottles in, a sudden buzzing noise caught my attention. Someone was calling me.

I reached for my phone and picked it up, seeing the number on the screen. It was Mom, and I clenched the phone a little tighter at that. She’d call me a few times during winter break, starting off with a few frequent calls before tapering off. This was the first time she had called since me and Rin reconciled.

Taking a deep breath, I finally answered.

“Good evening, Mom,” I said, noticing the stiffness in my voice. Though I supposed it was better than the previous tone I carried during our other calls, apathetic and completely devoid of anything resembling positivity. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well, Hicchan,” Mom answered in a loud and cheery voice, which sounded different from our previous calls as well, far more genuine than forced. “Well, besides the fact that your father messed up dinner again.”

I let out a brief chuckle at that. “I hoped it was still edible.”

“Oh it was,” she said in a reassuring tone. “The noodles were a little overdone, and there wasn’t as much soup as I’d like, but it was a perfectly fine meal. By your father’s standards, anyway.”

“I’m glad you two had a good time,” I responded, feeling a sense of fondness and longing. It had only been a few weeks, but I missed them. In hindsight, while the fact that I ended up at the hospital was necessary for Rin and me to move on together, I still wished I could have parted with my parents on better terms. “I’m actually packing my things right now. Sleeping over at someone else’s place.”

“Oh? One of your friends?”

I didn’t answer immediately, feeling a little nervous at finally telling her about Rin. The subject wasn’t brought up at all during our calls, out of both respect and uncertainty. But now I felt as if I needed to bring it up, difficult as it may be considering her stance on it.

“I’m actually staying over at Rin’s tonight,” I finally managed to get out. “We’ve...come to an understanding.”

“Oh…” was all she said for a while, a long silence following afterwards. When she finally decided to speak again, it was hard to tell if her tone was congratulatory or worried. “I’m...happy for you, Hicchan. Has she really accepted your condition?”

“Yes, she has accepted my condition,” I repeated, as if to clarify what I meant. “We’re taking it slowly, and I can’t say we won’t run into any problems in the future, but she has accepted my arrhythmia. And what could come with it…”

I said that last part with a bit of hesitance in my voice, which I hope my mother didn’t notice. Once again, I’m met with silence.

“Mom?” I said, unable to take her lack of a response.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, and I wondered whether she was sorry about the silence, or about the fact that she still couldn’t accept my relationship with Rin. Thankfully, I was given an answer almost immediately. “I didn’t mean to be so quiet. It’s just a lot to process…”

That made me hesitate about asking her about living with Rin, though I was still determined to do so. Just not at that exact moment.

“Mom, I know you don’t agree with my relationship with her.” It was hard for me to say that, and I could feel the grip on my phone tightening. “But I don’t think we’ll separate, not after all we’ve been through. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“I know, Hisao. I know,” she said, sounding both resigned and accepting of what I said. “When we called each other during winter break, I could tell how sad you sounded. How lost you might have been, even if you were trying to hide it from me. It was because she wasn’t there for you.”

“Yeah,” I answered. “And I wasn’t really trying to hide it. I didn’t think I could.”

“Even so, I can already hear how different you sound right now. Livier and happier.” Mom sounded relieved, and even let out a rather loud sigh. “I’ve been talking to your father about it as well, and I’ve come around to his point of view somewhat. If she truly makes you happy, makes you whole...then I’ll support you. The both of you.”

Her words made me feel lighter, as if a weight had suddenly disappeared. I let out a sigh of my own, one of absolute relief as I rubbed my eyes to prevent a tear from coming out. “Thank you, mom. I know it couldn’t have been easy, and I’ll try my best to make sure you have nothing to worry about.”

“Thank you, Hicchan,” I heard her sniffle, and wondered if she was crying. Still, the happiness in her voice was more than apparent. “You’re right, it wasn’t easy. But nothing in life is. I will still voice my worries and concerns about how you two are doing, but you have my blessing. Always.”

“Yeah,” I responded, smiling as I looked out the window, my mental image of an apartment balcony coming up once again. With our conversation taking such a turn, it finally gave me the confidence to take that leap. “On that note, I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about something.”

“About what?”

“...Well, finals are coming up,” I mentioned, trying to sound nonchalant. “And it’s fair to say I’ll pass with some amount of certainty.”

“You better,” Mom reprimanded, though her tone was more playful than threatening. “Otherwise I’d be the one having a heart attack, Hicchan! For all of our efforts only for you to fail…”

“I won’t,” I said in a serious voice. The thought of failing was something I didn’t even want to consider, not just because of what others would think, but also my own personal pride. While science might be my only subject of interest, I was never someone that could tolerate a failed score next to my name. “But after finals, I’ll be graduating along with everyone else. And then it’s off to college…”

“Right, and I trust you to find one that matches your passion,” Mom said, before adding. “But this isn’t about that, is it? It’s about finding a place to stay with Rin?”

“It is,” I answered. “Is your stance on that still the same?”

“Hicchan…” She was clearly uncomfortable about answering that question, though she managed to after a while. “I know she’s getting used to your condition, but I’m not sure if that means she’ll be that way if an emergency happens. Not to mention all the moving, and the maintenance that comes with having a home.”

“I know, and I actually have a solution for that,” I said calmly. “What if there was a third person staying there?”

“A...third person?” Mom seemed curious about what I had in mind. “You mean there’s someone else willing to stay with you? Someone more…”

She stopped right there, and I elected to ignore the last part of what she said. “I haven’t exactly asked her yet, but I believe she’d be more than amenable to it. It would mean there’s an extra pair of hands to maintain the place, not to mention someone else there in case anything happens.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple.” She sounded hesitant about it, though not as much as before. That was a good sign, or at least I hoped so. “There’ll need to be space allocation, not to mention assigning chores, and there’s no guarantee that it’ll be smooth sailing. People can be very different once you start living with them.”

“Would it be any more unnerving for you than if it was just Rin and I?” I countered.

“...No, it wouldn’t,” she admitted. “I’ll need time to think about it, alright? This all came out of the blue, and right after you and Rin reconciled It’s just a little much to take in.”

“I know. I just wanted to know how you thought about that arrangement,” I said. “Graduation is still some time away, so I just want you to consider it. I want to live with Rin, but I also want your approval as well.”

“Thank you for thinking about me like that,” Mom sounded extremely grateful, letting out another sniffle, though this one felt more exaggerated than sincere. “In the meantime, study well. If you get good grades on your exams, it might just help your case.”

“I will, I will,” I responded, rolling my eyes despite the fact that she couldn’t see it. If getting good grades would help sway her, then it would just be an extra benefit. “Anyways, I need to pack my stuff and buy dinner. Rin’s waiting for me.”

“Alright, have fun dear,” Mom said, adding in a slightly softer voice. “And tell Rin I said hello...and that I hope she’s doing fine.”

The last request caught me a little off guard, though I did find it a nice surprise. “I will. Love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Hicchan.”

With those final words, she hung up the phone, and I quickly resumed my packing. While the call hadn’t taken too much time, I was still lingering in my room way longer than I’d intended. With all my medications and a few books in my bag, I sling it over my shoulder and exited my dorm room to buy some dinner.

My conversation with Mom stayed in my head a good while, as I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved that she was starting to support my relationship with Rin, even if it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. It made me feel extremely grateful to her, and I couldn’t help but thank Dad for contributing to that shift.

I should talk with him soon, to convey my gratitude and to assure him that I’m alright as well.

Once I exited the dorm building, I made my way to go find some dinner. A vending machine selling bread isn’t exactly a great dinner, but it was the only option I had besides cup noodles, which wasn’t really any better.

Just as I was reaching the courtyard where several other paths were, I saw Rin walking down the path heading from the girl’s dorm, catching me by surprise. The two of us looked at each other, freezing in place for a moment, before she silently walked up to me.

“Hello, Hisao,” Rin said in a tone that sounded like she was meeting me for the first time. “You’re here. I knew you were going to be here, but I didn’t know when, like knowing where the rain is but not knowing when. Except it rains everywhere, just at different times, like a TV that can only display different parts of the screen instead of the whole thing.”

“Sorry,” I responded, feeling guilty. “I kept you waiting.”

Rin simply shook her head, moving to stand by my side. “I wanted to see you. When I was in my room, I just kept thinking about you, like where you were or what you were doing…”

“Were you worried?” I asked.

“A bit, but it wasn’t why I wanted to see you. It was like that worry was a small cog in a larger machine whose purpose is for me to go out and find you.”

“Well, you found me,” I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, which she responded by leaning her body onto mine. “I was going to go buy some bread from a vending machine. Shall we go together?”

Rin nodded, and the two of us headed towards the vending machines, situated near the main school building. With only the light of a few lampposts guiding our way, our walk was slow as we took our time, neither of us feeling the need to rush.

“I actually had a call with my mother,” I brought up after a while, feeling the need to tell her. “We talked about a few things. She wanted me to tell you something.”

She flinched at the mention of my mom, her head moving very suddenly downwards before returning to its normal position, her expression uneasy. I squeezed her shoulder, hoping that would comfort her a little, which it seemed to do as she looked less tense.

“She wanted to say hello,” I mentioned. “And she hopes that you’re doing fine.”

“Oh…” Rin seemed genuinely surprised by that, and looked at me. “Am I doing fine, Hisao?”

“I don’t think I can answer that for you,” I said, looking right back at her. “It’s something only you can answer, Rin.”

She thought about it for a few moments, before seemingly coming to a conclusion. “I think I’m fine, but I’m not sure if I’m fully fine or only partially fine. Like a car that doesn’t know if it has a leaky water tank or not, but you can still drive a car with a leaky water tank.”

“I’m not sure how my mom will react to that answer,” I noted, trying to make it sound like a joke in order to not worry her further.

“If I said that to Mama, she’d probably laugh and hug me. Mama likes hugs,” Rin said in response before shaking her head. “Tell your mom I’m doing fine, since that’s what I think is the right answer even though it’s not entirely right, or there is no right answer.”

“Alright.” I hesitated for a few seconds before bringing up the other subjects my mom and I discussed. “We talked for a little while, and she said she’s going to support us from now on.”

Rin didn’t react to that statement, and there was an awkward silence as we continued to walk, only broken by Rin after a minute or so.

“What does she mean by support, Hisao?” she asked, sounding extremely curious. “Is it like the kind of support that charities give to hungry people, or the kind of support people give to beggars sometimes when they pass them by, or the kind of support you give to me when I need to grab something but I don’t want to use my feet?”

The question she posed was a tricky one, and this time I was the one who was silent, thinking on how to properly respond. None of the examples she listed quite fit in my head, but in the end I gave my own answer to her question.

“It’s the kind of support...a bank gives out,” I said, the analogy already sounding weird to me. “They let you borrow money, and you can use that money to help yourself. But they’ll also warn you when you need to pay back what you borrowed. It’s kind of like that, I think.”

“Oh…” Rin’s voice was neutral as she responded. “I think I understand that. Thank you, Hisao.”

“You’re welcome, Rin,” I responded as we finally made our way to the vending machine. I inserted some coins. “Anyways, we talked about after graduation, and us living together. She said she’ll think about it after finals, though I think she’ll say yes, especially after I told her about my plan.”

“You mean about having someone else live with us.” She stated, not even framing it as a question.

“Yeah,” I pressed the buttons on what I wanted, which was several curry and bean breads, and picked them up as they came down. With those in hand, I turn to Rin. “Shall we head back to your room?”

Rin nodded, and we made our way back to the girl’s dorm. The night was just beginning, and there were still some things that needed to be done.

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Once we got back to her room, we immediately ate. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I took my first bite of bread. We finished eating rather quickly, leaving us to simply indulge in each other’s company as I read one of the books I’d brought with me, with her simply lazing around in bed.

After a while though, I went to my bag and rummaged through it, taking out my medications. Rin noticed immediately, and she sat up on the bed.

“Is it time to take them?” she asked, to which I nodded. “I feel like it’s the right time, even though I’m not sure if it’s exactly the right time. Like knowing what hour it is but not what minute…”

“It is,” I answered as I took some of my pills out, putting them into my mouth as she watched intently. “The timing doesn’t need to be super precise, otherwise I’d feel paranoid about the time.”

Rin didn’t say much else as I took the rest of my medications, simply eyeing me with a kind of focus that I rarely saw from her. She didn’t seem quite used to it, but there wasn’t a trace of fear or worry in her either, which I found to be a relief.

“All done,” I announced as I took the last of my medications. “At least for today. I’ll still need to take these in the morning.”

“I’ll tell you when you wake up,” Rin said, sounding more like those words were to herself than me. “It’s getting easier, like slowly learning how to walk.”

“Good job, Rin.” I added, trying to encourage her as I went back to her bed, sitting beside her. “Well, is there anything else you want to do? Anything to talk about?”

Rin looked like she thought about it, but ultimately shook her head, laying back down. I took my book and resumed reading with her beside me, occasionally placing a hand onto her head and brushing her hair. The atmosphere was silent, but of a comfortable sort.

When I was halfway through my book, I glanced down at Rin to see that her eyes were closed, and I wondered if she was just in thought or if she was just sleeping. After a few more minutes, her eyes did not open, which made me conclude it was the latter.

I let out a yawn, feeling a bit of fatigue set in. I didn’t know how late it was, but something told me I should sleep regardless.

“Rin?” I softly whispered, getting no response. It seemed as if she really was sleeping, so I quietly went up and placed my book on a nearby table before heading to the door, turning off the lights.

The room was now dark, save for a bit of moonlight that came in through the window. Turning back to the bed, I saw Rin shiver a little, and quickly went back to lay down beside her. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me, which caused her to open her eyes.

“Hisao?” Rin called out, her voice extremely sleepy.

“Yes?”

“...I think...I’m fine. Even if I’m not completely fine, you’re still here. So I am.”

She immediately closed her eyes after saying those words, and I didn’t feel the need to respond. I closed my eyes as well, and much like Rin did, felt that everything was fine. It may not be in the future, but it would at least be for today.

[Razoredge]

After reading this scene, I hate Hisao's mother less, even if I still don't like her that much, given her views about her son's relationships. I know parents can't always agree with their children's relationships, but being so disapproving about it is something I can't even understand, and I don't like her for that. This is a proof of how good your writing is, since you manage to make me love or hate some characters I didn't know I would love or hate, so that means you're doing an excellent job, and you should be praised for that.

I think I already know which person would be the third people to live with them, given what you wrote last year **cough**. And if it's not the case, well, you'll surprise me in the good way. But it's a really nice piece, it's nice to see that Rin and Hisao came to an understanding, I have hope for their relationship, and I hope they'll stay together and they'll be happy. I really love your Rin, her evolution is nice, she still says Rin at her Riniest, but what you write about her is a really good thing.

That was a really pleasant reading, as always. You, my friend, do a really good job, and you should be praised for that.

[Mirage_GSM]

So the writing in this was excellent as always...
Still the latest parts didn't click with me as well as the others. Reason being:

To be honest I have no idea how (or even if) you intend to salvage a situation like that or if "time" will be nearly enough to do so...
At this point I'm almost inclined to agree with Hisao's mom that it would be best for both Hisao and Rin to split up...

As far as you shattered the relationship between Hisao and Rin in earlier chapters I truly find it hard to suspend my disbelief that a reconciliation would be that easy or even possible.
Also from what we've seen from the VN, putting an ultimatum before Rin would probably be the best way to make sure she has a meltdown in the best of cases, not to mention a situation where she already is in the middle of one...
Finally, as far as the story arc is concerned, the reconciliation would have been the climax, so the last chapter would in effect be an extended epilogue? Not sure if you intend to bring the story up for a second climax...

[ShizuneFan2019]

Hey it's me again. I knew there was a new chapter in October, but I couldn't find a time to read it until today.

Great work. I'll definitely read the whole thing again when I have the time!

If your story is ending soon, then it will be pretty disappointing! I'd like to see a part two!

Some statistics:
- The Long Road: 15 Chapters in, 133 578 words (8905 per chapter)
- Precious Friendships: 59 Chapters in, 169 306 words (2870 per chapter)
- Sisterhood: 60+4 Chapters, ~453 000 words (~7100 per chapter)

“I know, Hisao. I know,” she said

You mean "Hicchan", don't you? It's very easy to forget. I always forget about it when I write Misha.

[MoashLannister]

Chapter 16: Period

“Hey, Hisao,” Emi asked, pointing to a question in the science text. The book wasn’t exactly beginner friendly, but it was rather easy for me to grasp the concepts and use them to solve the questions provided. “What do I do here? I mean, this thing...is...uh...what is it again?”

I took a closer look at the question and resisted the urge to roll my eyes at its simplicity, though judging by Emi’s rather annoyed glare, I might not have totally succeeded. Still, one of the duties of a teacher is to help the slower students catch up to par, if not excellence. Just because someone is slow doesn’t mean they aren’t capable or deserving of learning.

A rather quaint philosophy on teaching...that I developed during this very session, for several reasons.

“So the two liquids are insoluble under normal circumstances, yes,” I said, trying not to sound dismissive or arrogant. “And the question asked about what is needed for the two to properly mix, which requires a…?”

“A...em...something…” Emi trailed off, obviously having the answer on the tip of her tongue, but failing to grasp the word. “Damn it, they should make these things sound more memorable.”

“An e-emulsifier,” answered Hanako, looking up from the book she was currently reading and shyly staring at us. “Y-You need an emulsifier.”

“That’s it!” Emi said, as if she herself had made the discovery. “An emulsifier! Thank you, Hanako! See, I knew I’d remember it eventually!”

“Having it on the tip of your tongue won’t give you any points during exam time,” I mentioned casually but firmly. “And you won’t have Hanako to help you either.”

That deflated her, and she went back to her book with a grumble. As I looked around the room at the four girls before me, they all seemed to have improved marginally at science, judging by the fact that Emi’s question was the first in a decently long while. Even Rin seemed to be staring intently at her book, reading the text without much difficulty.

It was a few days into our cram session for finals, and as always science was the first topic to study due to my proficiency in the topic. I myself only needed to refresh myself on stuff I’d largely known by now, with the few gaps in my knowledge being filled through these sessions. The others did the same, though their reviews were interspersed with asking me for answers or to clarify the definitions of certain things.

It wasn’t what I would call thrilling, but it was definitely a relaxing time compared to when we got into other subjects, where my role was reversed with whoever happened to be the best in that particular area of study.

Miki let out a light yawn and threw her book on the table, arching her back and raising her hand. “Can we move on to another subject? Starting to uh...fade out from all these sciency words.”

I shook my head at her usual disregard for my favorite subject. “Alright, alright, I guess it’s about time we wrapped up and switched to another subject.”

“Perfect! Let’s take a five minute break!” Miki responded cheerfully before laying down on her bed. Our sessions alternated between our rooms, so that no one person would feel too comfortable with a single location enough to detract from their studying.

Unfortunately that didn’t account for the person living in that room, who was more than comfortable lounging around during breaks, especially in Miki’s case.

“Sure, why don’t you take a nap while you’re at it?” Emi grumbled, leaning back onto the side of the bed and rubbing her temples. “Can we please do health next? My mind feels like it’s been in another dimension lately and I really need to go back to something familiar.”

I looked at Rin and Hanako, who didn’t seem to object to that notion, especially as Emi seemed insistent on it. Considering that she has had to cut down on her running time massively, only having our regular morning exercise to my knowledge, she was feeling far more irritable than usual.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, to which Emi responded by brightening up a little.

“Alright!” Emi cheered and immediately reached for the health books that were on the table before us, just one of what was a mountain of books for us to absorb their knowledge from. “I’ll let Miura get her rest, then we’ll start!”

“Thanks…” Miki mumbled, sounding as if she really was about to sleep.

I used the opportunity to look around the room, which looked pretty clean for someone as carefree as Miki.
“Mm, you’re looking at the room,” Rin noted, and I turned to face her, giving a nod in acknowledgement. “It looks like Emi’s.”

“It does not!” Emi protested, seeming offended. “It looks plenty different, and mine has much better taste.”

“You tasted your room? Mine just tastes like paint,” Rin said, causing me to wonder how often she’s done that, considering the many times she’s painted. “I don’t know why, but I’m sure the taste of your room and Miki’s room would be like mine. Like eating a cow and knowing that other cows will taste the same if you kill them, even though they have different bodies and feelings and emotions…”

“That’s not…” Emi started to say before giving up, looking to the side and pouting. I hear a soft giggle, and turned to see Hanako hiding her face behind the book, though clearly she’s enjoying herself.

“Alright, I’m ready,” Miki said, getting up and casually tossing the science book she had beside her onto the table. “Lead the charge, Emi. I’m ready to learn.”

“Like you need to learn all this stuff,” Emi countered. “You probably know as much as I do. Otherwise you’d be a pretty shitty athlete.”

“You’re right, that means I can sit this one out,” Miki replied before laying back down on the bed. “Tell me when you guys are done.”

“Hey!” Emi seemed prepared to get into yet another tirade against her, but ultimately shook her head. “Whatever, you only got yourself to blame if you fail health.”

“If you fail at health, doesn’t that mean you’ll die?” Rin asked. “Of course, you can be healthy and still fail the health exam, but then why call it that? It’s like calling a room heaven even though it’s not where you go when you die.”

Emi ignored that comment as we began to learn more about health, a subject that I wasn’t particularly stressed about failing, but wasn’t absolutely confident that I’d pass either. Thankfully, much like how Emi was insistent on my exercise regimen, she was just as diligent as making sure that we understood the question the subject would throw at us.

Miki occasionally offered her own input, still laying on her bed, which caused Emi no small amount of frustration despite Miki saying the exact same thing she would say. Even with those infrequent interruptions, the studying went fairly smoothly as I memorized what she taught, though I couldn’t really gauge how long those memories would be retained.

Still, it was a relatively relaxing atmosphere to what was otherwise a stressful situation, with finals growing closer each day. The looming pressure of it weighed down on all of us during classes, and seeped more and more into our daily lives as time went on.

No doubt there were other students in their rooms, either alone or in groups just like this, frantically trying to absorb as much as they could in preparation for what amounted to the sum total of their high school academics. The culmination of their past manifesting as their key to the future.

“Hello? Earth to Hisao…”

I broke out of my train of thought to see Emi looking rather annoyed at my lack of attention, to which I could only respond with a guilty frown.

“Man, I expect Rin to zone out, but not you. You two really are spending too much time together,” she complained, which I couldn’t help but find a little bit amusing.

Some time ago, when Rin and I were still sorting out our issues regarding my impromptu hospital visit, she would have complained about the exact opposite thing even if it was in a less lighthearted manner than this one. It just goes to show how much things can change in such a short manner of time, and soon a lot of things will change once we’re done with finals.

“Sorry, sorry. I was paying attention to what you were teaching us, I promise,” I said, raising my hands defensively. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like college?” Rin asked, which was a fairly logical assumption given that we’ve been discussing that matter a lot, though we haven’t exactly narrowed down a specific one that we want to go to quite yet.

“Something of the sort,” I answered. “Anyways, are we still on health?”

“Nah, I think we’re done with it.” Emi threw the book onto the table and looked up at the bed. “Hey Miura, you can get up now.”

“Oh, we’re moving on?” Miura asked before sitting up on the bed, letting out a yawn. “Alright, what’s next then? English?”

There was a collective silence, as none of us were particularly interested in learning about English, which we found obtuse at best and absolutely confusing at worst. From idiosyncrasies like tenses to sentence structures that were antithetical to how I normally wrote and spoke, it was as if my brain had suddenly been removed from my body and taken to an alien planet whenever I tried to study it.

“I’ll take that as a no, then,” Miki muttered, to our quiet yet very insistent agreement. That can of worms will need to be opened on another day, but not today. “Honestly I’m still trying to process our English session yesterday. Let’s see...we haven’t done literature in awhile. How about we brush up on that?”

At the mention of that, Hanako immediately perked up. While she never openly spoke about her excitement for certain subjects, whenever we transitioned to one that she was in charge of, the look on her face was one of thinly veiled anticipation. I wasn’t sure if it’s because of the subject itself or because she enjoyed teaching it, or both, but it was nice to see her looking forward to something so eagerly.

“Sure,” I said, facing Hanako and giving her a nod. “We’re in your care, Hanako.”

“I-I won’t let any of you down,” Hanako responded as she grabbed her literature textbook and began to open it to where we last left off.

The session was like the other times Hanako was leading it, quieter than usual as we focused on what she was talking about, only interrupted by a few comments or questions. Hanako seemed to display a newfound confidence when taking on this role, her stuttering at a minimum and her voice sounding full of conviction with no trace of awkwardness or nervousness.

Once again, my thoughts wandered off from the current discussion, though it was on a slightly different topic than before. The subject of asking Hanako to live with Rin and me after graduation was still one that we hadn’t acted upon yet. I’d managed to subtly ask about what she had planned for after Yamaku, and it seemed that she didn’t really have a concrete idea, apart from wanting to study literature.Even so, she didn’t have a particular college in mind yet.

Rin and I had discussed the matter several times, and we both agreed that Hanako was the right choice. Emi and Miki were potential candidates as well, but they were extremely independent, and their career paths would make finding a suitable location where we could all live together potentially difficult if their chosen colleges happen to be far away from ours.

As the study session went on, it became more and more evident in my mind that I need to ask her sooner rather than later, to at least give her time to consider.

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“Okay, I think I’ve shoved enough information into my head for one day,” Miki said, laying back down on the bed for what was probably the final time tonight. “Any more and my mind’s going to shut down.”

“Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with her,” Emi said with a groan, closing the book she was holding with a loud thump. “I know it’s a bit early, but we’ve been studying a lot these past few days. Mind if we just end it now?”

“Y-yeah,” Hanako said, looking around the room. “I-I think we learned a lot today.”

“Mm, a lot,” Rin pondered. “A basket of apples is a lot, but not when you compare it to all the apples in the world. So we did learn a lot, but not a lot when compared to what can be learned. Like painting a house blue but the entire city is still painted white, even though the person who owns the house doesn’t own the city.”

“Alright then, we’ll continue some other time,” I agreed. Once our study sessions are over, we would sometimes linger in the room a little longer to talk or even eat together, but it looked as if this was not one of those times. Emi gathered her things and quickly excused herself before leaving the room, while Miki seemed just about ready to fall asleep, simply waiting for us to exit the room.

Hanako was about to leave as well, getting up and heading for the door. Not wanting to let the chance slip away, I got up and followed her, giving Miki a quick goodbye before we left as well.

“Hey, Hanako,” I said, causing her to turn around. “Can we talk?”

She seemed a bit surprised, but nodded in response. “S-Sure, w-what do you want to talk about?”

“Um, it might take a while,” I said, glancing at Rin coming out of Miki’s room. “It’s something Rin and I have been discussing for a while.”

“Oh, you mean how we want her to live with us? Are you finally going to ask her, even though you’ve wanted to ask her for a while?” Rin’s words completely cut to the heart of the matter, visibly shocking Hanako and making me feel slightly foolish for playing coy only for it to be pointless. I suppose I should have expected her to be blunt.

“Yes, Rin,” I sighed..

“U-uh...um…” Hanako seemed incredibly flustered by the sudden offer, and I couldn’t really blame her. At the same time, she didn’t look like she was dismissing the idea outright, which was a good sign at least.

“Is it alright if we talk somewhere more comfortable?” I asked, feeling unusually stiff and awkward. Hanako hesitated before slowly nodding, heading towards her own room at a rather face pace. She opened the door and quickly entered, her head poking out to briefly peek at us.

“Well, that could have gone better...” I muttered, turning to Rin. She didn’t seem all that affected by what had just happened, looking at Hanako’s room with her usual neutral expression.

We entered her room, where Hanako was already preparing some tea, her face away from us. I wondered if it was a way to calm or distract herself. Eventually, she had a tea kettle ready and placed it onto the table at the center, along with several small cups. A tea set that we had partaken in a few times, especially now that we’ve been studying together.

The three of us sat down around the table, not saying anything. Hanako and I took a few sips of our tea after she poured, and I helped Rin drink hers by lifting the cup to her lips, as it was still rather hot.

Another few moments of silence, the atmosphere around us winding down to a calm. Hanako’s anxiousness slowly faded, though there was still uncertainty on her face.

“S-Sorry for bringing it out of the blue,” I said, finally ready to speak up. Even if Rin was the one who said the words, I did feel some responsibility in waiting so long to talk to her regarding the matter. “Honestly, I didn’t know how I was going to do so.”

“I-It’s ok,” Hanako assured me. “I-I was just s-surprised. B-But, why do you want m-me to live with you two?”

“Well…” I found the words I wanted to say stuck on my throat, though I managed to force them out nonetheless. “You didn’t seem to have a plan in place after graduation in regards to which college you’re going to or what place you’re going to stay in.”

“Y-Yes,” Hanako seemed ashamed of that fact. “I-I’m honestly a bit…a-afaid. Y-Yamaku has been a place where I feel like...my l-life was starting to make sense. I was able to m-make friends like Lilly and you and Rin and Emi. I-I wasn’t sure what was going to h-happen to us...to me...once we finally had to leave.”

“Mm, I think I feel the same, even if it’s not really the same,” Rin said, nodding her head. “When I came to Yamaku, I felt as if the world was going to end, even though I was still living and breathing and doing things. But then I met Emi and the world began to go past the end, like a movie that goes on another hour after the credits roll. I met Hisao and it went on for even longer, and you and Miki also made the world feel like the world was actually still there even though I thought it ended, although it wasn’t really ending.”

Hanako began to process her words, looking confused at first before seemingly coming to understand what she said. She gave an affirming nod towards Rin, before turning back towards me.

“I-Is that really why you want me to live with you?” Hanako asked, sounding a little hurt and offended. “Because y-you think I’d be lonely after graduation. That I m-might not make it on my own?”

I was tempted to say that it was, if only not to seem selfish in my intentions. But I knew that lying or withholding my reasons from her would mean I hadn’t learned anything from my experiences with Rin. I needed to tell her in order to let her make her own decisions.

“That’s not the only reason...or even the main one,” I said nervously, scratching the back of my head. “I had a call with my mother some time ago, and we talked about Rin and me, specifically about our plans after Yamaku. She’s...still worried about us living alone together without any help nearby, like how it is here.”

“O-Oh,” Hanako said, sounding mildly surprised.

“After discussing for a bit, she said she would approve of it under two conditions,” I continued, feeling less anxious. “The first was that I did well in my exams, which I’m more than confident in, especially since we’ve begun our study sessions together. The second was that I find a third person to live with us, so that she would feel more secure about our situation.”

I said ‘our situation’ as if Mom cared about Rin’s condition alongside mine. I wished that were the case, though in all likelihood she only considered my arrhythmia, and saw Rin’s disability as a danger to my health and safety.

Hanako didn’t respond once I finished, simply looking down on the table, a small frown on her face. I couldn’t tell if it was in contemplation or in disappointment at my proposal, though I had no intention of pressing her on the issue.

When she finally looked back up, she turned to Rin. “I-Is this what you want?”

“When I saw me and Hisao living together, it didn’t have you in it.” Rin said bluntly, closing her eyes and saying nothing more.

“I-I see…” Hanako muttered awkwardly, and I couldn’t help but feel a little bit panicked at how Rin had replied to that question, hoping it wasn’t the entire answer.

“But then me and Hisao talked about it, and I started seeing you even though you weren’t there,” Rin said, and I almost let out a sigh in relief. “Like seeing a ghost even though it’s invisible, which means you aren’t seeing it. And I began to see you more and more, and suddenly you weren’t a ghost.”

“We wouldn’t consider it if we thought living with you would make any of us uncomfortable,” I added, trying to put what Rin said into a more easily understood set of words. “I know it won’t be easy, and there’ll be a lot of things that we’ll have to get used to. But considering the fact that we’re graduating and heading into college, I think that’s already a given.”

Hanako nodded, and once again there was silence as she contemplated what to say, occasionally broken up by the subtle clinks of our cups as we drank from them.

“U-um, I-I might need some time t-to t-think about it,” she said, her tone uncertain. “P-please don’t think I’m s-saying no. A-Actually, I would l-like to stay with y-you two, e-especially since otherwise we’re all going to be separated soon…”

Her voice trailed off, and she had a rather distraught frown for just a moment. What she said must have been weighing on her mind for a while.

“B-But I just want to m-make sure,” Hanako continued before bowing slightly. “S-sorry!”

“It’s alright,” I assured her. “It took me way too long to bring this up to you, so I understand needing time to come to a decision. Take as much time as you want.”

“Even after graduation?” Rin asked. “Even if it takes years and years? Like someone wanting to know how to make fire even though there’s already a lot of fire everywhere now.”

“...Okay, maybe not that long,” I clarified, causing Hanako to giggle. “But still, take all the time you need.”

“T-Thank you.” Hanako said, still smiling.

We continued to talk and drink tea for a little while before finally deciding to call it a night. Rin and I exited her room and turned around to face her, the door still slightly open with Hanako peeking out.

“G-Good night.” Hanako muttered, sounding sleepy.

“Good night, Hanako.” I replied, trying to suppress a yawn.

“We need you.”

Rin’s statement caused both of us to look at her. Her face looked almost serious as she stared at Hanako, frowning. Her expression wasn’t one of sadness or anger however, and I could only imagine that it was her way of reinforcing her words.

The two looked at each other, and for a moment I felt as if I was an outsider to their silent interaction. Their gazes continued to focus on one another, as if that was all they needed in order to communicate. Eventually though, Hanako merely nodded back at her and closed the door.

“Well, that was interesting…” I noted, wondering what to make of it. Shaking my head, I let out another yawn and decided that it wasn’t worth losing sleep over. “Anyways, shall we head to bed?”

“Mm, my room tonight,” Rin said as she walked to her room, with me alongside her. “Hisao, how do we know where to sleep? Some days it’s your room, some days it’s mine.”

I pondered the question as we reached her door, my hand reaching for the doorknob to open it. It was true that we didn’t really have a noticeable pattern when it came to where we slept. Some days we’d stay in my room, others it would be at Rin’s. But the decision to change locations was completely erratic, usually when either one of us would say so.

“I suppose it’s simply intuition,” I answered as we entered the room, with me closing the door behind us. “Or maybe it doesn’t matter, as long as we’re together.”

“And you’ve taken your medications,” Rin pointed out as she went to the bed, laying down on it immediately. “...You’ve taken them tonight. I’ve seen it with my eyes, which means it’s true because my eyes don’t lie to me.”

“Yes, I’ve taken them,” I confirmed with her, finding it cute how she points out whether I’ve taken my medications, which had only grown more frequent over the days. It was odd that I didn’t find these constant reminders overbearing when they would have from anyone else, but that’s the effect Rin has on me. “It’s almost like you’re my personal nurse.”

“Mm, I think I’d be a bad nurse, even though I’ve never thought about it,” Rin mumbled, her voice getting progressively softer. “...Hisao, there’s something I want to tell you.”

“Yes?” I responded as I went to the bed, laying down beside her. Rin was staring right at me, but then she looked away.

“I want to tell you, but not right now even though I could, like a policeman who could arrest a criminal but decides to do it after he’s committed a crime,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she began to close her eyes. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” I repeated. Despite my curiosity, I wanted her to be comfortable when she told me whatever she wanted to say. Besides, I couldn’t exactly fault her for delaying a conversation, being guilty of it myself. Even so, I did at least want to know something. “...It’s not anything bad, is it?”

“No.” Her answer was brief, but more than clear. “Goodnight, Hisao.”

“Goodnight, Rin,” I responded, and went to sleep like I have always done, right next to her.

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The winter air was thankfully nowhere near as cold as it could have been, and there was barely any evidence of snow. This made our walk through the woods rather nice, though the scenery before us was one of nature struggling to survive such an unforgiving season, with none of the greenery that I’m used to seeing.

Rin was several steps ahead of me, moving at a rather fast pace compared to her usual amble. When I’d asked her what she wanted to talk about yesterday during breakfast, she’d simply said that she wanted to go somewhere with me, which was how we ended up here.

I was pretty sure the destination she had in mind was one that I already knew, the dandelion field. Where we had celebrated with the others during the festival, and the site of one of the pivotal moments in our relationship before that. What she wanted to tell me must have been fairly significant, if we were headed there, but for now I simply followed her as she led the way.

“Hanako told me you were here before,” Rin said, turning back to face me for a moment. “I forgot when she told me, like forgetting when you had ramen but knowing you had it.”

“I was?” I asked, before remembering that there was one another time where I had been here. When the two of us were still apart, estranged by my condition. Those memories had begun to fade as Rin and I rekindled our bond, but now those lethargically miserable days were now fresh in my mind. “Right, I was. Hanako found me here when I was trying to think about...how to fix things.”

“You mean me? Because I was broken?” Rin asked, turning back to the direction she was walking towards.

“No, well...not entirely. I guess I was just wondering how to fix us,” I answered, feeling a little uncomfortable. “Or if we could even be fixed.”

“But then we were fixed, like someone taking apart a clock and replacing all the old parts with new parts,” Rin’s words sounded rather firm, as if she was committed to the idea that we really had everything worked out. “So we aren’t the same clock as we used to be, but we still tell the time like how every clock should.”

“Same function, but improved.” I said, finding the concept rather intriguing as a metaphor for our relationship. No doubt it would continue to change over the years, much like how a machine would require replacement parts and maintenance. That would make it a separate entity from what it originally was, but one that still acted as if it were.

A few minutes later we arrived at the familiar clearing. There was only a layer of snow, and no dandelions in sight. But the landscape remained as it was, though without the twilight sky that I associated it with. Still, now seeing it with fresh eyes that weren’t burdened by my problems, I could appreciate the sight as a different sort of beauty.

“Mm, when I look at it, it’s midnight and there are a lot of dandelions,” Rin remarked as she sat down on the snow. “Even though they aren’t there, I feel like I could pick one and blow on it, even if all I’ll grab is snow.”

“I get what you mean,” I replied as I sat down next to her. “But even if they aren’t real right now, they will be back once spring rolls around.”

“No, they will be different, even if we can’t see it. Like seeing all bacteria as the same even though they’re all different, but they all still make us sick,” Rin got closer to me and looked up. “I’d like us to be like that, being different but still being the same. But sometimes if we become too different we might not be the same anymore.”

“Like graduating from Yamaku? Going to college?” I asked, wondering if that’s what she meant by us becoming too different. “Do you think it’ll change us too much?”

“I don’t know,” Rin’s gaze was still towards the sky, and so I decided to look up with her. “I don’t think it will, but it’s like how certain products say it’ll destroy 99 percent of something. What about the other one percent? Will it remain one or become zero, or will it become 100?”

“We’ll find out together,” I said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close for comfort and warmth. “That’s all we can do.”

“Thank you, Hisao,” Rin responded, and for a while we were simply content to look at the clouds above, our minds rising up and leaving our worries to the earth below.

“I got a letter from Dad.”

“Oh.” I muttered quietly, not thinking much of what she said as my thoughts were still up in the air.

“He wants to see me soon. Him and Mom.”

“Oh,” I repeated before realizing the significance of what she’d just said. My eyes widened and I felt as if I was back in the real world. “Oh...when do they want to see you?”

“After finals. They’re picking me up,” Rin said. She didn’t seem particularly excited at the thought of seeing her parents again. “They want to spend a few days with me to talk about what to do after Yamaku, and also to spend time together. So it’s both business and pleasure, even though most people ask if it’s business or pleasure.”

I turned to look at her. She was still looking straight up. I wasn’t sure how to feel about the reunion with her parents, though my experiences with my own parents was probably coloring my perspective. I also realized that I hadn't made any plans with my parents once finals were done and over with.

“Can you come with me?” Rin asked, finally turning to face me. And somehow I knew that this was what she wanted to tell me all along. “I came to visit your parents, so this will make us even, like we’re on a scale even though we wouldn’t be if we actually were. You’re heavier than me, so you’d be lower.”

It didn’t take me long at all to find my answer. “Of course.”

“Can you not go to the hospital this time?” Rin sounded genuinely worried with that request. “I know if your heart has problems you have to, so your answer won’t make any difference, like promising there won’t be rain tomorrow even though you can’t take away the clouds. But I still want to hear it.”

I placed a hand on her cheek to reassure her, which she accepted by rubbing against it.

“I’ll try my best,” I said, trying to sound lighthearted. I couldn’t promise her anything, and she seemed to accept that as we turned to look up at the sky once again.

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“You may begin.”

That one sentence made everyone pick up their pencils and begin to look over their papers, including myself. Those words weren’t just a simple announcement, but a declaration of war between questions the educational institution had posed and the students who were tasked with answering them. To fail was to be held back, to be shamed, to be considered unintelligent enough for any further education.

Finals had officially begun.

The first subject was one that I had a moderate amount of confidence in, with Science reserved for the middle of the exam week. Still, I made sure to check my answers again and again, to think of any possible reasons that they might need correction.

Occasionally I would glance away from my paper, either to take a break away from trying to think of an answer or because I had no idea how to answer at all. The latter reason happened far more times that I was comfortable with, whittling away at my confidence.

Looking around the glass, I observed the proctors walking around, their eyes like hawks to determine if anyone was cheating. I managed to catch the gaze of one of them, who intimidated me enough to turn back to my paper almost immediately, back to a question I’d been struggling with.

Other times I simply looked at the clock to determine how much time was remaining, which was probably a bad idea as it only increased my anxiety. It was very important to pace yourself during an exam, to ensure that every question was completed in some form or fashion, yet the constant reminder that our time was limited caused me no end of worry. It left me unable to give any single question too much attention, which added an element of uncertainty to my answers.

I managed to look at my friends, who were sitting relatively close to me, though not close enough to be able to communicate. Emi looked extremely frustrated with her paper, holding her pencil so tightly as to be able to snap it in half. In contrast, Miki had an expression of boredom as she picked up her pencil and placed it down again, almost in a rhythmic manner. Hanako looked worried, her hand shaking on more than one occasion as she wrote her answers down.

Unfortunately, Rin wasn’t in sight. She had to take part in the examination in a separate place due to her lack of arms, which demoralized me as I wondered how she was faring. Was she as nervous as Hanako? As frustrated as Emi? As apathetic as Miki?

I wouldn’t know until we met each other again, and even then she might not tell me. All I could do was focus on my own exam and hope she was doing alright.

Time seemed to pass by both too quickly and too slowly as I went through my paper, glancing at the clock a few more times. I could almost hear a ticking noise when I saw it, and even times when I wasn’t, signaling that the end was drawing ever closer and I had yet to finish.

Thankfully, I managed to complete my paper with some time left to spare, allowing me to check all of my answers again. The ones I felt certain about I skipped, while others I analyzed carefully in order to make sure they were the correct ones. Others I had no clue, and simply treated it as a wrong answer that I could not correct.

Once the head proctor called for everyone to put their pencils down, I did so with an odd mix of satisfaction and anxiety, knowing that I’d done my best while also being uncertain as to whether it was enough. Regardless, as my paper was taken from me, I breathed a huge sigh of relief as that burden was lifted.

Whether it would be a consequence later, I would only know once they posted the results. For now, I still had other burdens to bear, as another exam would start soon after.

One battle had ended, but the war raged on.

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“I wanna dieeeeeeeeee!!” Emi moaned, tilting her head back in frustration as both her hands went to her head. “Let this be over alreadyyyyy!”

“Well, this school has a perfectly good roof to jump off of,” Miki offered, sounding as if she were giving genuine advice. Surprisingly, Emi did not turn to glare at her, and simply continued her lamentations.

“I-It’s going to e-end soon,” Hanako said, trying to sound comforting. “P-Please stay strong, Emi...y-you’ll be able to r-rest in t-two days…”

“Why can’t it just end now?” Emi shouted, adding to the already long list of complaints I’d heard since the exams had officially started.

Our first day of exams had ended, with subjects coming and going as we tried our best to score well, including my forte of Science. Still, the day had taken a toll on our morale, some more evident than others. The cycle of Emi’s whining, Miki’s teasing and Hanako trying to calm her down had repeated itself several times this evening.

Our meeting was also time to compare the answers we’d given in our tests, to see if there were any discrepancies. For the most part, our answers were fairly congruent, but the few questions that had different answers were often a point of discussion about who had the right one. Some we didn’t manage to figure out, though the few we did ended up being detrimental to the confidence of the one who gave the wrong answer, myself included.

“Hey, what did you guys answer about that one Sengoku question?” Miki asked. “The one about Hideyoshi and a castle?”

“I-I answered that it was built in one day.” Hanako responded, sounding confident. “D-Didn’t we d-discuss that during one of our study sessions?”

“That was what I answered too,” I agreed, turning to Rin who was resting her head on the table, her eyes still open. The examinations seemed to be very draining for her. “What about you, Rin?”

“One day…” was all she mumbled, her words soft and slurred. I placed a hand on her head and affectionately brushed her hair, which caused her to let out a noise before closing her eyes.

“Damn it, I thought it was ridiculous so I answered that it was built in a month,” Miki complained, shaking her head. “Well that’s another point gone. Did you answer correctly, Emi?”

Miki’s question was met with silence as Emi pouted, looking much like a puppy that had recently gotten kicked. Miki looked as if she wanted to push further, but upon seeing Emi’s expression decided to drop the matter.

“Anyways, what’s done is done,” I said, trying to cheer them up. “We can’t take any of our answers back, so the best thing to do is to rest up and focus on our next exams.”

“I can definitely get behind resting. So how about we get ourselves a nice dinner? I doubt any of us can cram anything more in our heads anyways, especially with an empty stomach” Miki suggested, to which Hanako nodded in agreement. Even Emi seemed to get behind the sentiment. “Shanghai?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Emi said before getting up and heading for the door. “I’ll see you guys there. I’m running there, or I’ll lose my mind.”

She left, then Miki got up and stretched. “I’ll meet you guys there too. I’ve got some stuff to do before I head out.”

“What is it?” I asked out of curiosity.

“It’s a secret,” Miki answered with a wink, and left as well. That left Rin and me alone with Hanako.

“U-Um, about...y-your offer…t-to stay with you t-two...” Hanako said, with an initiative that surprised me considering her silence on the matter ever since that talk we had just before exams had started. I didn’t feel like prodding her over it was the best course and had been content to let her decide, and so I hadn’t brought it up since. “S-Sorry for taking so long.”

“It’s fine,” I assured her. “We’re all busy with exams, so it slipped my mind as well.”

“Like a slug...except the slug was made of thoughts…but something can’t be made out of thoughts...except for...thoughts...” Rin mumbled, sounding as if she were drifting in and out of consciousness. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her tired state, finding it cute. Hanako seemed to think so as well, as she let out a soft giggle.

“Anyways, have you...decided yet?” I asked with a bit of caution in my voice, feeling that it was appropriate since she was the one who started this.

“N-No, I’m s-sorry,” Hanako said, looking ashamed. “I-I need a little more time...t-that’s what I wanted to t-tell you...I-I know you’ve been waiting, so…”

“It’s fine,” I repeated immediately. “I said we’d let you take your time coming up with an answer, and I intend to hold myself to that. You don’t have to feel obligated to give me an answer before you’re ready.”

Hanako simply nodded her head. I began to get up, pulling Rin along with me in the process. She ended up slumping against my body for a few seconds before finally getting on her own two feet, though she still looked incredibly sleepy.

“Anyways, let’s go to the Shanghai,” I suggested. “I’m sure Emi will complain if we arrive too late.”

“I-It might already be too late.” Hanako responded, and I raised an eyebrow and gave her a smirk. It was a rarity for her to say something resembling a teasing remark. It was a sign of how comfortable she was with us that she did so.

“Yeah, but if we get there soon enough, I might still be spared from footing the entire bill,” I said, which caused her to giggle as we headed for the Shanghai. I tried not to think about the fact that it would be one of our last visits there.

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“Pencils down.”

That phrase was said for the final time of the exam period, and hopefully in my entire life as I placed my pencil on the table. It was finally done, the finals which I’d labored and worried so hard over were finished at last. As the proctor came to take my paper, I couldn’t help but feel relieved, letting out an audible sigh as I slid down in my chair.

All that was left was to wait for the results in a few weeks, to see the fruits of my efforts, along with the others.

“Feeling alright?” I heard Miki ask as she approached my table, followed closely by Emi and Hanako. “You look like you want to crawl on the floor.”

“Just letting it all sink in,” I answered as I straightened myself up. “What about you?”

“Eh, we’ll see,” she replied noncommittally. “Anyways, we can’t do anything about it now, so I was thinking of relaxing.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Emi agreed as she neared the two of us, bouncing up and down like a spring with an excited look on her face. “Track club is back in action, baby.”

“For a few months before we graduate” That comment from Miki caused Emi’s energy to fade a little, though she seemed enthusiastic as she ignored her and quickly zipped away without saying anything else.

“Someone’s excited that exams are over,” I said drily, packing my stuff.

“Yeah, well I’m sure she wants to get a good run in,” Miki responded. “Same goes for me, honestly. I’m not addicted to it like she is, but all these exams made me feel stiff as hell, so I’m going to need some action too.”

“I suppose so,” A question emerged in my mind as I got up. “Hey Miki, do you have any plans when it comes to college?”

“Yeah, I’ve got an option or two, assuming I don’t fail of course,” Miki responded with an air of confidence and determination, an odd change from her usual laidback self. “Going to enroll myself in an athletic college, same as Emi.”

“Because you enjoy it?” I asked, finding it appropriate that she would choose such a path. Despite often being overshadowed by Emi’s passion for running, it was clear that she had some attachment to it as well.

“Well, that and the fact that it’ll have a lot of hunks,” Miki’s tone was playful, yet I can’t help but hear a hint of truth in her tone. “I mean, guys who work out more often than not, their bodies are gonna be pretty muscular. Not to mention the girls, too.”

“Right…” My voice trailed off at her other reason for enrolling in such a college. “Does Emi know about your plans?”

“Well, yeah. We’re planning on going to the same place, even getting somewhere nice to stay together.”

That statement surprised me, and it clearly showed on my face judging by her laughter. Neither of them had given so much as a hint of those plans during our study sessions, merely being their usual bickering selves. And yet they’d already planned to stay together during college.

“Come on, is it really that surprising?” Miki asked with a roll of her eyes. “Especially since you’re probably gonna stay with Rin and Hanako after graduating too. Just between you and me, living alone ain’t really all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Well, it’s just you didn’t tell us anything about it,” I protested, even as I realized something about what she said. “Wait, you knew that I asked Hanako to stay with Rin and me during college?”

“Well, it was more of a hunch,” Miki admitted with a shrug. “But it was pretty obvious, even if you were trying to be hush-hush about it. The five of us may be close, but you three have something special going on. She seemed most comfortable around the two of you.”

“R-Really?” I could feel my face heating up from embarrassment, though I wasn’t quite sure exactly what I was embarrassed about.

“Heh, most guys would be jealous of a guy living with two girls,” she teased, and I looked away slightly as my face got even hotter than before. “Some may even get the wrong idea, you know.”

“Come on, you know it’s not like that…” I protested.

“I know,” Miki said before walking away. “Anyways, go find your girlfriend already and celebrate that exams are finally done. I’ll see you later.”

With that, I was left alone. Looking around the room, I didn’t see Hanako present, and I wondered where she was. The library, to unwind from the stresses of finals? That was certainly a possibility, but regardless of where she was I left to go and find Rin.

The location where she took her exams was not that far away from where the rest of us took them, and after a minute of walking I arrived at the entrance. Rin was still there, and to my surprise Hanako was with her as well. They seemed to be talking, but Rin noticed me as she looked away from Hanako.

“Hisao,” Rin said as she walked over to me, alerting Hanako to my presence as well. “Exams are over. I feel like there was a leech on my back sucking my blood, and someone finally pulled it off and even though I lost some blood I’ll get some more even though I don’t know how to get more blood.”

I actually did know how humans got more blood, but decided not to explain it to her right then and there and instead simply pulled her close to me, which caused her to nuzzle her head against my chest.

“H-Hello, Hisao…” Hanako said quietly as she approached me as well. “E-Exams are finally over. I-I’m so glad...”

“Me too,” I responded as Rin broke away from me, turning towards her. “Were you two talking about something?”

“Yes,” Rin responded bluntly. “Once exams were done, I wanted to walk out, like how a can of fish wants to get out of it even though they can’t, because they’re fish and also because they’re dead. Once I got out I walked into Hanako, and we started to talk.”

“Y-yeah,” Hanako gave me a slight smile as she said that, a rare hint of excitement in her voice. “U-um, if it’s alright with you, could we meet up later? M-Maybe at the Shanghai?”

I had an inkling of why she wanted to meet us there, and judging by her expression I was fairly sure what her answer was going to be. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but feel excited too.

“Yeah, that’d be lovely,” I responded with a smile of my own. “Miki and Emi are going to be busy with the track club, so it’ll just be us.”

“Alright, I-I’ll see you guys in an hour at the school gate.” Hanako gave us both a quick bow and ran off, leaving Rin and me alone.

“Well, we have a bit of time before we have to go,” I said to Rin. “What do you want to do?”

“Paint,” Rin answered, sounding less tired than she usually was after an exam. “I haven’t painted in a long time, even though it’s only been two weeks, so it’s not really long when you compare it to how long someone lives. But it’s still long to me, like looking at a ruler and calling it long even though it’s short compared to the length of a train.”

“Alright then, let’s get it set up in your room then,” I suggested. “And I know what you mean. It’s only been a few weeks, but it really has felt like a long time since you’ve done that, since all of our attention was on finals.”

“Do you think you did well?” Rin asked as we began walking towards the dorm,

“I think I did rather solidly,” I answered, trying to sound humble yet sure. My worries about her performance began to nag at me, and I turned her question right back. “What about you? Confident that you’ll pass?”

“I don’t know.” Rin seemed hesitant, looking away from me. “When I try to think about what I answered, I can’t remember even though I’m the one who answered them, like a bird forgetting that it can fly. I don’t want to fall, Hisao.”

I squeezed her shoulder in an attempt to reassure her. “Well, I think your answers would be pretty similar to the rest of our study group, so I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

“Do you really think so, Hisao?” she asked, sounding rather desperate for an answer.

“Yes, I do think so.” The answer I gave was partially due to the reason I told her, but mostly because I had faith that she would succeed. Rin seemed to accept it, as she leaned her body onto mine and planted a kiss on my cheek.

“Then I’ll think so too. Thank you, Hisao.”

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“Welcome!” A waitress greeted us as we entered the Shanghai, though it wasn’t Yuuko. As we took our seats at a table near the back corner of the cafe, she waited for a while as we looked through their newly printed menus before approaching us to take our orders.

“Might I recommend our special today?” she suggested with a smile. “It’s mushroom and chicken stew in a bread bowl. Our chef highly recommends it.”

“Sure,” I said, not feeling picky about what to eat for dinner. As for my choice of drink however, that’s another matter entirely when I’m here. “And an iced tea for me, thanks.”

“I-I’ll have some stew as well,” Hanako added. “A-And some w-white coffee, if you please.”

“Alright,” the waitress said before turning to Rin, waiting patiently for a few seconds before saying in a more forward tone. “And you, miss?”

Rin stayed silent for a few more seconds before asking the waitress. “Do you have something that’s good and new that I don’t know about? Like when a parent surprises her child with a special meal, and even though it’s nothing special to anyone else it’s special to a child because it is?”

Her statement seemed to throw the waitress off guard, and she stammered a bit, not knowing how to answer her. She looked as flustered as Yuuko now, and I couldn’t help but find that a bit amusing.

“How about I order for you?” I told Rin, who turned to look at me. “And I won't tell you what it is. That way, it can stay a surprise.”

Rin considered that for a few moments, and eventually nodded in approval, which made the waitress let out a quiet sigh of relief. “And an iced tea. I want the food to be a surprise, but not the drink. Like wanting your day to be a surprise but not your night.”

“Alright, alright,” I responded as I looked to the menu, scanning through it briefly before turning towards the waitress. I leaned my head toward her and whispered, “One omurice please, and sorry for the trouble.”

“Oh, it’s no worry,” the waitress insisted before taking our menus, giving us a curt bow before leaving.

With the three of us by ourselves, there was a silence hanging in the air as none of us said anything, simply looking at each other with a mix of anticipation and contentment. Even after our drinks arrived, we simply took some sips from them without saying much other than commenting on the quality of our beverages.

Eventually though, Hanako spoke up. “U-Um, after I was f-finished with exams, I went and talked to R-Rin a little about...after graduation...i-if we all pass.”

“Oh?” I said, taking another sip of my iced tea, trying not to sound too eager for an answer. “Have you come to a decision?”

“Yes.” Hanako stared at me, her eyes focused as she gave me a determined look. “I-I would like to live with you two, after graduation.”

It was the result I had always hoped for, and partially expected after our brief encounter earlier in the day. I couldn’t help but be delighted, giving Hanako a smile. Now my mother would have less reason to worry about Rin and me living together, now that another person would be present as well.

“Thank you.” I struggled to put my heartfelt gratitude into words.. “I know coming to this decision wasn’t easy, but I’m so glad that you’ll be staying with us during college.”

“M-Me too.” Hanako sounded excited at the prospect, though it was mixed with a bit of caution as well. “H-Honestly, wanting to live with you two wasn’t a difficult decision. I-If anything, it felt too e-easy.”

“You, Rin, Emi and Miki are my only friends in Japan. I don’t really have anyone else, and I wasn't confident I could m-make any more after I leave Yamaku. S-Staying with you h-honestly sounded like a dream come true, but...but I didn’t want to f-feel like I was depending too much on you two, or that you wanted me j-just because you were worried about me. I-It didn’t seem fair.”

I stayed silent as she voiced her worries to us, with Rin seeming to be listening attentively as well.

“B-But then you told me why you wanted me to stay with you, because of your mother. I-It made me feel strange, b-both happy that you needed me, but also a bit s-sad. I’m sure the both of you wanted me to stay with you because we’re friends, but I also know that’s not the only reason, or even the main one.”

“We do want you to stay with us,” I insisted. “My mother was definitely a large reason, but we also wanted you because it’d be nice to have someone else from Yamaku with us. The four of you are my only friends here too.”

“Me, too,” Rin added. “I don’t have friends other than you four, even though Hisao is also a boyfriend. So he’s a boyfriend and a friend, which is like having a burger that has chicken and beef even though most burgers only have one.”

Before we could continue our conversation, our food arrived as the waitress served it, two servings of stew and one omurice for Rin. We looked at each other and silently decided to satisfy our hunger a little first.

The stew turned out to be pretty good, a hot meal to warm our stomachs against the winter’s cold, consisting of several different vegetables alongside the chicken and mushroom. The sauce was extremely thick, and tasted like it was full of herbs. And the bread was also hot and extremely nice to chew on, especially when it was dipped into the stew to mix the two flavors together.

“T-This is good,” Hanako said, breaking the silence since we began our meal. “I-I really like it.”

“Yeah, it feels very...homely,” I responded, thinking that it was the most appropriate way to describe what I was eating. It very much felt like something from home, a meal that a family would have during a season such as this.

“Really?” Rin asked before shoveling a bit of her omurice into her mouth. “Does it really taste like home, even though it doesn’t taste like a house because a home and a house aren’t the same thing, despite the fact that a house can be a home.”

“Would you want to try some?” I offered, and she nodded. I took a spoonful of the stew and offered it to her, which she consumed in a single bite. “So, what do you think?”

“It tastes like meat and mushrooms and vegetables and sauce,” Rin concluded after swallowing. “But it also tastes like home, even though my home doesn’t grow any of those, and home doesn’t have a taste. It’s like something tasting like love.”

“Tasting like love, huh?” I couldn’t help but be amused by that last remark, wondering if I should try my hand at cooking something for Rin, especially when we have our own place.

“Would you like my omurice?” Rin asked, and I nodded. She moved her body about so that the spoon she was grabbing her foot could reach me, and I leaned my head in to take a bite.

“It’s nice,” I commented as she got back into her original position. “Though I might prefer the stew.”

“Maybe I would too, but you ordered this, so I prefer the eggs and rice,” Rin responded, sounding adamant about her opinion. “Would you like some, Hanako?”

“I-I’m fine.” Hanako said, raising her hands.

“Circling back to the subject of living together,” I said, thinking it was time to resume that discussion. “Rin and I haven’t found our colleges yet, so maybe once we’ve gotten our results, we can all look for one together? As long as they aren’t too far apart from each other, the three of us going to separate colleges shouldn’t be too big of an issue.”

“R-Right,” Hanako looked away from me a bit before meeting my gaze. “U-Um, we’ll also need to look for someplace to s-stay, right?”

“Yeah, I think we’ll scout for a place once we’ve settled on colleges,” I responded, enjoying the fact that we could finally discuss such matters with Hanako. “A decently sized apartment, with enough rooms to accommodate the three of us.”

“One bedroom for Hanako, and one bedroom for Hisao and me,” Rin pointed out, turning to Hanako. “Unless you want to sleep in the same room as us, like three moles in the same hole underground.”

Hanako began to blush and shook her head. “N-No, thank you. I-I would like my own bedroom, a-and hopefully one with a b-bathroom attached to it.”

“Ideally, our bedrooms would have their own bathrooms,” I agreed, thinking of how awkward things would be if all three of us had to share a single bathroom, not to mention my mother’s potential complaints. At least in that regard, it would be directed at me for potential impropriety. “But we can think about all that later. For now, I just want to relax and celebrate our futures together. Do you two have stomachs for dessert? My treat.”

Hanako looked at me with a smile on her face, while Rin simply nodded. The three of us continued our dinner, conversing about the future. The atmosphere was definitely a happy one, and one that carried over well after we finished eating.

As we headed back to Yamaku, I thought about how my time there was soon coming to a close, a chapter in my life that was soon approaching its final few pages. But just as it ended, another one would inevitably begin, with its own set of wonders and problems.

Despite that, I looked forward to that chapter with eagerness, knowing that both Hanako and Rin would be by my side. Whatever might come, I knew I would be content with them around.

[Razoredge]

Well, well, well. Considering what I said in my previous message, it's not a surprise at all. To be fair, Hisao asking Hanako to live with him and Rin, considering their relationship in your story, feels natural. It doesn't feel forced at all, but it may be your writing, I don't know. The addition of finals in this chapter is a nice thing, it may be a bit short for my own taste, in description at least, but that's only me, I'm just being picky here. The only thing I would complain about is Miki saying she would live with Emi. That's illegal, Miki belongs to Snoozu. Okay, Emi seems to be a right choice, since they are both members of the Track Club, but what abour poor Suzu? I'm not really serious about that fact, it's just to be a boor.

That being said, it was a nice chapter, with excellent writing, as always. I can't wait to read the following chapters. Excellent job, as always.

[MoashLannister]

Chapter 17: Return

“Is everything alright back there?” a voice called out from somewhere, and I opened my eyes to see that I was still in the car. Turning to my side, I saw that Rin was looking intently out the window, which had been what she was doing since we got in.

Turning back to the source of the voice, a woman with long red hair and green eyes, smiling as she looked back at the two of us. If I were less lucid, perhaps I might have even mistaken her for Rin, as the resemblance was rather uncanny even for mother and daughter.

“I’m fine…” I responded, letting out a yawn as I straightened myself up from my slumped position. “How long was I asleep for?”

“An hour and three minutes.” Another voice answered with rather confident precision, belonging to the driver of the car. While his face was obscured to me, I’d had a good enough look at him back when we started this journey to recall what he looked like. Dark hair that was starting to gray, with a clean shaven face and piercing blue eyes. While Rin’s appearance was definitely gotten from her mother, her expressions were clearly taken after her father, as his default expression was the same neutral one that I’d become more than accustomed to.

It was upon seeing the resemblances that I realized that Rin wasn’t entirely a unique and singular individual, adopting traits from both her parents even if she was wildly different from them. It made for a rather interesting revelation, though in hindsight such a thing should have been obvious.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Mrs. Tezuka said, her voice gentle and kind. “I just wanted to let you know we’re getting close to our hometown.”

“No worries…” I responded politely, and she turned her head back. Letting out another yawn, I looked out my side of the car and saw a moving landscape of trees, grassland and the occasional solitary building that lined the rural roadway that we were on. The quietness inside the car was a rather calm one, as we all had exhausted all we needed to say for the time being, and were now content with simply waiting as our destination was slowly being reached.

Leaning my head against the glass, I started to think about the moments that got me to this point in time, starting with me and Rin waiting for her parents as they decided to drive to Yamaku. Finals had concluded quite some time ago, and the results that came up were expected yet still kind of a surprise, thankfully of the good variety as every one in our group passed all subjects with varying degrees of excellence.

Naturally, we all celebrated with a meal that left all of us extremely full, and Emi extremely irritated at the calories she had to burn. With nothing else left to study in Yamaku, the time between results and our final break before graduation was simply spent having fun with one another, whether that meant going out to the town or simply staying in the dorm

Hanako, Rin and I started to seriously discuss our plans for college, now that all of us had passed. We each ended up having several colleges that we planned to go to in the same general area, hoping that our first picks would be the ones that accepted us.

After that, I informed my mother about Hanako’s willingness to stay with us, and to tell her of my results. The former subject drew some suspicion from her, but in the end she agreed to the terms of her deal and would support us in finding a place to live together, though not without warning me about acting appropriately at all times while I was living with them. As it was far less serious than her usual problems with my life, I took it in stride.

With that matter settled, all that was left was to meet Rin’s family, which happened the day our break truly began, during the early morning. Thankfully she notified them in advance, and apparently even specified about my condition, something which made me wish I had done the same when the two of us met my parents. Still, at the very least, there wouldn’t be any surprises on their end.

While there was some sense of security knowing that they were expecting me, I still couldn’t help but feel nervous about our first meeting, especially when Rin pointed out the car that was approaching us as theirs. I was Rin’s boyfriend, and even if Rin hadn’t been who she was, that status was definitely one that often came under scrutiny from the parents of the boyfriend’s significant other.

When we finally met face to face, Rin immediately hugged her mother tightly as her father stroked her hair, a bright smile on both parents’ faces. It reminded me of when I would do those things to her, and couldn’t help but smile as Rin clearly missed the two of them, and I stayed silent to allow the family to have their moment.

Once that was done and over with, they greeted me and we shook hands, politely but warmly as I introduced myself to them. They in turn told me their names and thanked me for being with Rin, which was the best outcome I could have hoped for. We soon got back in the car and started the long journey back to Rin’s hometown, which would take most of the day, according to them.

Mrs. Tezuka elaborated on how they spent the majority of yesterday getting here, and stayed at a hotel for a night, so it would probably be late afternoon or even evening by the time we got there. As I looked at where the sun was currently positioned in the sky, slowly nearing its peak.

The car trip itself was rather pleasant, as Rin and her parents quickly began to catch up on what they had been doing while they were separated. Seeing her talk so much was rather surprising, but it makes sense considering that their only means of contact were letters. The topics ranged from mundane things to more serious topics, such as finals and her plans afterwards.

“Any ideas?” Mrs. Tezuka asked curiously, and despite not knowing her well I couldn’t help but sense an air of worry in her voice.

“I’m going to art college,” Rin answered firmly, which seemed to shock her mother. “I want to be an artist, so I’ll go there so I can be a better one, even though I don’t need it to be an artist. Like a driver getting his license even though he can drive without it.”

“Well, that’s great!” her mother answered, though unable to hide her astonishment. Considering her passion for art is something they likely knew, I wondered if they had been having the same doubts Rin and I had had about her doing it professionally.

Apart from that particular conversation, most of it was the family reminiscing along the journey, recalling the many similarities to the last time they drove all the way to Yamaku and back. Lunch was even spent at the same rest area they’d used, down to the exact restaurant.

I couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, even when they weren’t talking. They were courteous and welcoming enough, but it was clear that they wanted to spend time with their daughter first and foremost, and that was perfectly fine with me. Considering the fact that they haven’t talked in so long, it would be awful of me to begrudge them that.

Still, I wondered if what I was feeling was how Rin felt when she met my parents; the feeling of being both included yet separate at the same time.

“Mm, you’re thinking about something.” I turned to face Rin, who was looking right at me as she said that. “You have that look on your face, even though everyone’s always thinking about something, but you’re thinking more. Like a hand that’s grabbing tightly onto something instead of just holding it.”

“Yeah, just thinking about this trip,” I replied, trying to keep my true thoughts as vague as possible. “It’s been rather nice so far.”

Rin nodded in agreement. “It feels like I’m back a few years ago, even though that was me then and this is me now. So I feel like me right now but also me back then. Like the time being 2pm even though it’s 2pm on a different day.”

“I could tell, you seemed really nostalgic,” I noted, giving her a smile. “Think you’ll feel even more like that when we reach your home?”

“I don’t know,” Rin said uncertainly. “It’s the first time I’m coming home in a long time, so my home might not be my home, or at least it won’t be the home I left.”

“For what it’s worth, we haven’t really touched your room,” Mr. Tezuka chimed in. “Except for cleaning it up the day before we drove to Yamaku, but we didn’t move anything.”

“Is the hole in the wall still there?” Rin asked, much to my dismay when I realized what she just said.

“Yes, Rin,” Mrs. Tezuka assured her. “It’s still there.”

“Hole in the wall?” I muttered curiosly, though neither Rin nor her parents seemed to be in the mood for elaborating that point further.

“Hey, remember that game we played while we took long car trips?” Mrs. Tezuka said, completely changing the subject as Rin tilted her head upwards in realization.

“You mean the one where we look at things and describe how we feel?” Rin answered, to which Mrs. Tezuka nodded. “We haven’t done that this trip.”

“Well, I was thinking it’ll keep us occupied until we reach the town, at the very least,” Mrs. Tezuka then turned her head once more, this time eyeing me in particular. “Would you like to start us off, Hisao?”

“Oh…” I felt a little awkward as I was put on the spot, and immediately looked out the window to find a subject that was worth talking about. Nothing really came to mind apart from the endless wave of cars that both drove with and opposite this one, and I felt that would be too bland of a subject.

My mind racing on what exactly to say, I noticed something large pass us by, a very cylindrical truck. “Uh…I saw an…oil tanker truck.”

“Perfect!” Mrs. Tezuka replied with a single clap of her hands, and a surprising lack of sarcasm in her voice, considering that the subject wasn’t exactly all that interesting in my opinion. “Well, let’s start with you, dear. What does an oil tanker make you think?”

“Rising petrol prices…” Mr. Tezuka announced with a hint of bitterness, to which Mrs. Tezuka chuckled in response.

“Admittedly, that was my thought too, but I suppose I’ll go for a different one,” She tapped her forehead with her finger a few times. “Hmm, oil tankers make me think how dangerous they are. One wrong move and the entire thing explodes…or at least that’s what happens in movies.”

“Mm, oil tankers make me think of oil,” Rin said, her voice trailing off. “It’s like a truck, but it’s carrying something liquid instead of solid things, even though trucks do carry water bottles so they can also carry liquid. But you never see bottles of oil unless it’s the kind that you use to cook, which is different from oil in oil tankers even though they have the same name…”

Mrs. Tezuka nodded her head, looking as if she expected Rin to go on a tangent. When both of them turned to look at me, I suddenly realized that I needed to give my thoughts on it as well, which got my mind scrambling on what to say.

“I might need to rely on oil as I get older,” I babbled, my lips outpacing my thoughts. “Considering that I might buy a car and all, I'll need to think about it if or when I do, I suppose.”

“Always go for the cheapest one, and always try to go for one specific brand of gas station,” Mr. Tezuka grumbled, though the advice did seem sound. “Different ones will mess up your car.”

“Alright, I suppose I’ll go next,” Mrs. Tezuka announced happily before looking out her side of the car, taking a few seconds before seemingly finding a subject of interest. “Oh, a billboard for a sushi restaurant passed us by. How does that make you feel, dear?”

“That you’re in the mood for sushi,” Mr. Tezuka responded in an observant tone. “And that you want it for dinner.”

“I’m not opposed to it,” Mrs. Tezuka responded diplomatically. “What about you, Rin?”

“Mm, I think I'm in the mood for sushi too,” Rin concurred, and I could hear the faintest hint of a chortle coming from Mr. Tezuka. “I haven’t eaten any in a while, which might be why I want it, like a house wanting to be painted over after all the old paint is starting to peel off. But I didn’t know I’m in the mood for it until you talked about sushi, so I’m like a house that only wants a new coat of paint after being told the old one is coming off.”

“Hisao?” Mrs. Tezuka asked, and suddenly I felt an invisible pressure as I considered how to answer.

“Um…some sushi would be nice, I suppose…” I answered in a nervous tone.

“What kind of sushi?” Mrs. Tezuka questioned further, and I felt the pressure get even heavier.

“Maybe some tamago maki,” I said, immediately going for the cheapest and safest option. “That’d be nice.”

“Unagi and salmon for me,” Rin added. “Me and Hisao ate sushi before, and he really liked the ikura.”

“Is that so?” Mrs. Tezuka’s desire for confirmation only made me shy away, giving me a nod. “Tamago, unagi, salmon, ikura…quite the selection. Well, I suppose I’ll add my opinion to the choir and say that some shrimp and tuna would round out that list quite well. What do you think, dear?”

“I think…that we’ll be having sushi for dinner,” Mr. Tezuka said after a delay, sounding both exasperated and endeared. “When we settle down at home, I’ll go out and buy some.”

Mrs. Tezuka clapped her hands once again, nodding her head. “Well, I was content with leaving it as a mere thought,” she said, though the tone implied that that statement was less than genuine. “But I’m happy with such an arrangement. Right, shall we continue the game?”

“I’ll go,” Mr. Tezuka offered, though his head didn’t move as he continued driving, most likely wanting to focus his view on the road. “Hmm, I saw a kid peeking out the window of one of the cars. I think he was staring at us.”

“Oh? I do wonder what he was staring at, my visage or your stern face,” Mrs. Tezuka teased, punctuated with a brief giggle before adding. “Hmm, that does make me think of Rin, always looking out of the car whenever we drive. When you were a child, I couldn’t get you to look away from the cars even if I wanted to.”

“Oh…” Rin noted, looking befuddled. “Sorry, even though I don’t remember that, so I don’t really feel sorry.”

“Remember when you kept asking me about license plates?” Mr. Tezuka asked. “You kept questioning why that car had that specific license string of letters and numbers.”

Rin’s eyes widened in realization, and she smiled a little. “I remembered that, and you answered that it’s because cars are like people, the license plate makes them unique even though they might be the same.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Mrs. Tezuka said in recollection as well. “It was when we were going out to eat ice cream, yes?”

“No, I believe we were on our way to have lunch,” Mr. Tezuka corrected. “A fast food place, if my memory is correct.”

“When has it ever been incorrect?” Mrs. Tezuka questioned, though it was clearly rhetorical and didn’t need an answer.

“Dad remembers a lot,” Rin explained, looking at me. “One time I lost something, but I didn’t tell my parents for a week because I was scared. Then when they needed it, I told them I forgot, but he knew where it was even though I didn’t know.”

“It’s more skill than talent,” Mr. Tezuka voiced, sounding softer than usual, perhaps out of embarrassment. “Having an occupation that requires me to manage a lot of numbers means that a sound memory is a necessity.”

“You’re always modest about that,” Mrs. Tezuka sighed fondly. “Let’s get back on topic. What about you, Hisao? Does a child looking out a car window remind you of anything?”

I didn’t really have much of a thought on the subject until she asked, at which point I thought about it for a time while they patiently waited. Eventually something did come to mind, a memory of what felt like a previous life at this point.

“The first time I went to visit my grandparents, when I was young,” I answered, my recollection of that time being hazy. “They were too out of the way for my parents and me to use the train, so we drove there. I remembered looking out at the other cars a lot, because it was the first time we’d had a long trip.”

“Was it something like this?” Rin asked, and I looked around the car before settling my gaze onto her face, giving her a smile as the feeling of being an intruder had faded ever so slightly.

“Yeah, it was something like this.”

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It wasn’t too long after that before we reached Rin’s hometown, and the difference between the environments we were brought up in became more than apparent. The road leading into town was narrower than a lot of the busy streets I grew up with, leading to an array of buildings that were both less dense and more asymmetrically positioned compared to the rigid and orderly line of the city where I’d lived most of my life.

Even the buildings themselves seemed different, looking squat with only a few exceeding one or two stories, something so commonplace in the city that it wasn’t worth noting. As we drove deeper and deeper in, my eyes were drawn to the houses, which were a mishmash of antiquated looking wooden houses and more modern concrete ones.

Some places even had large swaths of plant life behind them, or what appeared to be a forest. Even compared to the town near Yamaku, this was as rustic a place as I’d ever visited, despite plenty of urban elements being present. Even those seemed to be influenced by the ruralness of its surroundings, looking far more prominent while still looking as if they belonged.

I found it to be rather quaint as the car slowed down, allowing me to take in the scenery. Passing by what looked to be a playground with kids and adults spending time there, some of whom even waved at us in familiarity. Some of the people walking down the sidewalk also did the same, which reinforced how small this place was, and therefore how connected its community would likely be.

“Mm, it’s like looking in a mirror,” I heard coming from Rin, though I wasn’t sure if it was addressed to me or her parents. “Even though you’re supposed to see yourself. So it's like a mirror where you can’t see yourself, like a pool you can’t swim in.”

Turning around, I saw that Rin was looking out the window once more, meaning her words weren’t for any one person in particular.

The car was soon driving up an incline as it reached a row of houses, each separated by a fence. Though because of the change in elevation, each house was in a slightly higher position than the one that preceded it, giving each one a kind of individuality. Once again I couldn’t help but contrast it against my own home, which was simply one in an identical line.

“We’re here,” Mr. Tezuka announced as the car slowed down and then stopped in front of what was presumably their house. It was a two story building that was somewhat smaller than my house, with its wall colored a subtle shade of green while the gate was a goldish yellow. The driveway was to the left, and a grassy lawn with a swing was to the right.

Mrs. Tezuka exited the car and opened the gate after unlocking a padlock, allowing the car to drive in before Mr. Tezuka parked it right in the center of the driveway.

“We’re here,” Rin said before turning to me. “This is my home, or it was my home before Yamaku. But now it’s my home even though it wasn’t my home for a while.”

“It looks nice,” I complimented as Mr. Tezuka exited the car, and we followed suit. I quickly took our luggage from the boot before heading for the entrance, which was a wooden door.

“I hope you enjoy your stay here, Hisao,” Mrs. Tezuka said as she opened the door, and we entered the main hall.The walls were a light shade of blue.

Looking around, I saw that it was decorated with a lot of canvas paintings, some of which had Rin’s abstract style, while others were far more simplistic to the point of being something a child would have painted. To one side of the hall was a couch facing an old looking TV, with pod looking chairs to either side, hanging from the ceiling instead of having legs on the ground. The other side contained a table with four benches surrounding it, and behind all of that was a black piano with the lid open, a piece of red cloth covering the black and white keys.

“Mm, it doesn’t look different at all…” Rin commented, looking as if she were seeing all this for the first time.

“Well, we like the way the house looks, so why change it?” Mrs. Tezuka countered before wrapping her hands around Rin and hugging her. “I missed hugging you so much.”

“I missed it too.” Rin admitted, closing her eyes as the hug lingered for some time, with Mr. Tezuka passing them by with a simple glance before heading for the stairs.

“Her room’s to the left,” he said, looking at me with calm eyes. “If you wouldn’t mind dropping off your bags there.”

I nodded in response as I took the bags and headed towards the stairs, briefly turning back to see that mother and daughter were still hugging. Before heading up, I wondered about something and decided now was the time to ask.

“Um, may I ask where I’m going to sleep?” I inquired, sounding more timid than I intended.

“Rin’s room,” Mr. Tezuka answered with far less opposition than I expected, almost causing me to wince from the shock. “You two sleep in the same bed often, yes?”

“She told us, Hisao,” Mrs. Tezuka added before I could even voice my utter disbelief at that statement, letting go of Rin as she regarded me with an amused look. “How you two would often sleep together for comfort.”

I could only assume that they thought that that was as far as we would dare to go, and not the alternative. As accommodating as they’d been, I doubt that Rin’s parents would exactly be all that nonchalant about…that.

Still, I wasn’t exactly in the mood to stick around and find out, my face feeling extremely heated from embarrassment. So with a silent nod I carried the luggage and headed up the stairs, leaving the family alone to spend time together.

On the second floor, I saw two doors to the right and one to the left, the latter distinguished by the bits of paint on the door frame. As I reached it, a part of me hesitated opening the door, realizing that I was entering a part of her past. For as close as we were, her past wasn’t exactly something I’d thought about much.

Perhaps it was because it wasn’t that important at the time, or simply that it didn’t matter. As I stood outside the door where she’d lived for most of her life, I couldn’t help but wonder what memories it would hold before opening it.

I placed the bags in the room itself before getting a proper look at it, and what I saw was both unexpected and entirely expected. The walls were pure white, yet littered with the stains of paints all over. Some were dots while others were brush strokes, some so little that it was hard to see while others were so big that it would have drawn one’s eyes to it, if not for an innumerable amount of others in different colors and sizes.

And like they’d said, there was indeed a hole in the wall, about the size of a grape. What had caused the hole and why it hadn’t been filled, I hadn’t the slightest idea.

There wasn’t a table or chairs, but instead everything was on the floor, from books to old painting equipment to toys. It was all scattered here and there, as if someone made a mess and refused to clean it.

Looking up, I saw that the ceiling was a dark purple, with yellow dots all over in imitation of a starlit sky. It was clearly painted by hand, with bits of it getting onto the circular light at the center. Even the scent of the room smelled vaguely of old paint, which made sense as someone with a passion for art had lived here for so long.

“Mm, you opened the door…” I heard Rin say from behind me, turning around to face her.

“Yeah, I did.”

“The door usually didn’t need to be opened,” Rin explained as she walked past me and laid down on the bed. “Mm, this bed feels different, even though it doesn’t really. It’s like having a rash on your arm that used to have a lot of rashes, and the rash is the same but it just feels different.”

“I see,” I said as I sat down onto the bed beside her. “I didn’t know you’d told them that we slept in the same bed.”

“Well now you know.” Rin didn’t seem all that fazed by my statement, nor the deeper implications of that. Of course, that was my assumption until she added. “I didn’t tell them we had sex, even though they asked. I told them that we hadn’t had sex, which was true because we hadn’t done it that day even though I know they were asking if we had sex at all. Like responding that you didn’t break the plate even though you touched it and the plate breaks two minutes later.”

“I think that’s for the best,” I said softly, hoping that neither of them were in earshot. “They seem really nice.”

“Mm, they are really nice,” Rin nodded her head in agreement. “One time I wanted to see stars in the sky, but it was cloudy every night so I got a little sad, so they suggested that I could paint the ceiling. So I did, and they lifted me up while I painted.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I simply laid on the bed beside her, both of us staring at the ceiling as I wondered what to say.

“How are you?” I asked. “Meeting your parents after so long, coming back here…”

“It feels good, but also sad,” Rin answered, sounding sleepy. “Like I’m looking at a photo, but the photo can look back even though photos usually can’t do that. But I wanted it to look back, just a little bit.”

“Just looking at it, I can see this room has a lot of memories,” I noted, deciding to ask something more trivial. “Why is there a hole in the wall?”

“Because I saw a show about a hole in the wall, and people try to go through,” Rin answered, as if it wasn’t anything abnormal. “So I wanted a hole in my wall because of it, even though I know it can’t be big enough for me to go through. It’s like seeing a giant statue of a pizza and wanting pizza, but not one as big as the statue. Dad drilled a hole after I asked him too many times, and we talked about it a lot.”

“Huh, I see.” Truth be told, I hadn’t really expected there to be a normal story for the hole’s presence, but the explanation still managed to leave me slightly befuddled. “You certainly have an interesting past, huh?”

Rin didn’t answer, instead moving her head so that it now rested on my lap.I immediately reached down to brush her hair.

“I won’t see them anymore,” Rin said, now sounding more weary than tired.

“What do you mean?”

“There’ll be a time where I won’t be able to see them anymore,” Rin muttered. “When they taught me about people dying, I think I froze just like the time when you went to the hospital. Even them talking about growing old also made me freeze sometimes, like I had become a statue even when I wasn’t made of marble, and a statue doesn’t think about their parents' hair being gray and their skin getting wrinkly and…”

She went on and on about her imaginations, every detail about her parents growing old and their bodies began to decline. It was extremely uncomfortable for the both of us, and at some points she stopped for a while before resuming, with me stroking her hair all the while to offer her some comfort.

“I…I’m sorry,” was all I could say to that, unable to offer her any solution to her plight, as it involved the inevitability of death. “But at the very least, they’re here now. You still have time with them.”

“I know,” Rin responded, nestling her head deeper into my lap. “But I know there will someday be a time where I need to say ‘I can’t see them anymore,’ even when I want to, so I need to be able to say it before that happens. It’ll be the same for you too, Hisao.”

“Hopefully, that time is still far away from now,” I said, trying to sound optimistic. “We have our whole lives ahead of us, Rin. So we shouldn’t think about the end just yet.”

“But I still think about it,” Rin countered, sighing as she looked right up at me. “Thank you, Hisao. I’m happy you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” I replied firmly, cupping her cheek as she closed her eyes once more.

[MoashLannister]

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I tended to Rin as she slept, uncertain of how much time had passed as I simply let her rest on my lap, doing nothing other than the occasional look at my phone. It seemed that this was an extremely inactive day for me, which Emi would no doubt disapprove of if she were present.

Still, even if she weren't here in person, the messages she and Hanako left for me still provided me with a means of keeping in touch. They’d occasionally sent me a few messages throughout the trip, asking how I was and updating me on what they were doing, which for both Emi and Hanako happened to be running that day. No doubt Emi had convinced Hanako to run with her and Miki as replacement for my absence, and I could only hope that her body could bear the strain.

Checking my phone’s message logs in their entirety, I noticed that the frequency of messages had drastically increased as of late, especially compared to my early days in Yamaku. Whereas the occasional message from my parents were all that filled the screen early on, now there were messages from not only them, but my friends back home. They’d all passed their finals as well, and were planning to go to college, the same as me.

My bond with them still wasn’t as strong as with my friends in Yamaku, but it was nice to know that they thought about me enough to talk every once in a while, the awkwardness of the past gone if not entirely forgotten.

A gentle knock on the door alerted me to someone standing at the entrance, and I turned my head to see Mr. Tezuka standing there, his look as unreadable as ever. I wondered if Rin understood what emotions lay beneath the mask he seemed to wear, given that they’re father and daughter.

“She likes to sleep a lot on certain days,” he said softly, though his voice didn’t seem to be directed at me. “Particularly after something extremely draining for her, though not after a few days where she can’t sleep at all to tire herself out. Did something happen recently?”

His last question felt a bit accusatory, and I shook my head. “Nothing, as far as I can recall. The only thing I could think of is finals, but that was several weeks ago.”

“Or perhaps it’s thinking college that’s draining her,” he suggested. “You two have been talking about it, haven’t you?”

The possibility hadn’t even occurred to me, yet when he said that I couldn’t say that he was absolutely wrong, though I wasn’t sure if he was right either. Mr. Tezuka walked up to the bed, looking down at his daughter.

“It was just a guess,” he reassured me, squatting down slightly to get his head closer to Rin. “I’m going to take a walk in a few minutes, to buy our dinner from a place not that far from here. I might need an extra pair of hands.”

It was more than evident that I was the extra pair of hands he was referring to, and despite my nervousness I nodded. There really wasn’t any reason for me to refuse, and it would be a good chance to talk with someone who knew Rin so much before I did.

“I’ll be downstairs.” Mr. Tezuka stated before walking away.

I stayed with Rin for a few moments longer before gently moving her head off my lap and onto the bed, thankfully without rousing her. Not wanting to keep Mr. Tezuka waiting, I headed down to the main hall, where he was already at the entrance putting on his shoes and coat.

Following his example, I put on mine as well, and the two of us exited the house. Once we were past the gate, I followed his lead as he walked at a fairly relaxed pace up an incline, no sign of urgency at all.

We walked for a while in silence, with him seemingly content to not talk about anything at the moment, leaving me looking at our surroundings during our journey. The houses we passed were similar to his even with the differences in elevation, though each had something that set it apart from the rest, from simple things such as the color of the wall to something as elaborate as an entirely different gate barring entry.

There were a few residents outside on their driveways, doing things such as watering their plants or simply sitting on a chair. While some ignored our passing, most either waved or called out to us, to which Mr. Tezuka responded in kind, confirming for me the friendliness of the neighborhood.

“Do they know Rin well?” I asked, finally disturbing the peaceful quiet between us.

“Some know of her,” Mr. Tezuka answered. “A few have seen her a few times, during visits or gatherings. Some have children her age, but she never really made lasting friends with any of them, and I don’t think she cared.”

“I see…” I said, knowing that Rin never really talked about her past beyond her parents. Given how she is, it wasn’t surprising that she hadn’t had much of a social life. Even before we’d met, the only person she had in her social life was Emi.

“She’s very insular,” he continued. “Never really likes going out, always preferring to stay at home. It took a while for us to convince her that she needed to go to school, and even longer to convince her to stay at Yamaku. I suppose in her eyes, her mother and I were all she needed back then.”

“Rin does speak very fondly of you two,” I added to reinforce his point. “I think it was clear that she missed being with you sometimes, even if she didn’t voice any complaint about living at Yamaku.”

“She spoke fondly of you as well,” He responded, now looking at me with a slightly different expression, one that I could only guess was curiosity. “And of Emi, the girl who took care of her on many occasions according to her, though you were by far the more surprising development to us. I did not expect her to bring home a boyfriend any time soon, if ever.”

“I can see why,” I admitted, recalling the difficulties for us at the start our relationship, much less the troubles that came after. “When we first met, I…I didn’t expect to become her boyfriend either. It was just something that happened.”

The incline leveled out and revealed a two way street, with a row of restaurants and stores along it. Unsurprisingly, there weren't many cars that passed by, and even the ones that did drove much slower than in the city. Everything in this place just seemed to go at its own pace, now that I thought about it. Even still, we waited for the traffic light to turn green before crossing the road.

“Does Rin send letters to you often?” I inquired just as we reached the other side. “I know she sends and receives them, but I never really got the sense that she did it often.”

“She only really sends replies to our messages,” he said. “We send them every now and then, mostly to check on how she is. My wife and I agreed that we should keep communications sparse during her stay in Yamaku.”

I had my suspicions why they would want to do that, though I kept that particular thought to myself as we reached the row of buildings, most of them looking rather old. The wood on some of them looked extremely aged, with no attempt to hide its many scratches and nicks.

“It’s a little farther than this,” Mr. Tezuka said. “Are you alright with long walks?”

“I go running almost every morning,” I responded, trying to sound confident rather than boastful. “So I’d say so.”

“Good, good.” He gazed at me, turning right towards the end of the row of buildings. “I admit to not knowing your condition beyond what Rin told me, so please let me know if there’s something that would be inadvisable for you to do.”

“What did Rin tell you?” I asked, curious on what exactly she revealed to them.

“That you had a problem with your heart, and went to the hospital because of it.” For the first time, I sensed a certain amount of uneasiness in his voice. “That scared her quite a bit, judging from how she described it. I imagine that it took a bit for her to accept it.”

“It wasn’t easy, and part of it was my fault for hiding it from her,” I admitted with a sigh, those bitter memories still stinging. “I had my doubts that our relationship would continue after that incident, but we managed to work through it, rough as it was. She’s mostly accepted it by now, but I can’t say that she’s fully done so.”

“Death isn’t a particularly easy subject for her.” The discomfort in his voice grew, and he looked away as we reached the end of the row, where he stopped. “I heard your conversation with her, about how she reacted when we tried to tell her.”

“She froze,” I recalled, wondering how Rin would react if she knew we were having this conversation. “That happened too when I went to the hospital, and for quite a while after.”

“The first time she did so, my wife and I were horrified,” he said, deliberately looking away from me. “We didn’t dare to try again, even though it was probably something that we should have done. But we were too scared that she might act so…lifeless again, and afterwards she simply tried her best to forget, so I suppose we did too.”

I couldn’t help but sympathize with him regarding that worry, having experienced the same thing not so long ago, and being similarly hesitant in trying to get her to accept my mortality. Even now, a part of me still wondered just how I’d managed to do so.

“For you to have succeeded where we failed…” This time, there was a note of shame to his voice. “Thank you, Hisao. For being there for her. For being able to get through to her.”

“There’s no need to thank me,” I responded with my hands raised, trying to be modest. “And even if there is, I’m not the one who deserves sole credit for helping her. To tell you the truth, I was almost as listless as her initially, and it was with our friends' support that we managed to eventually reconcile.”

“Then give them my thanks as well, as a father,” he insisted quite firmly, before resuming his walk. “It is comforting to know that she’s among good friends. That was one of our hopes when we sent Rin to Yamaku.”

We walked silent for a while afterwards, passing through other rows of buildings before crossing yet another street, the sun slowly coming down as the day was on the verge of evening. Eventually we came to a building with a fairly large sign of a sushi roll, and I knew that it couldn’t be anything else but our destination.

We entered the restaurant, with the staff greeting Mr. Tezuka in a very friendly manner. He made his order and we sat on a bench while they prepared it for us, and I decided to continue our conversation.

“What other hopes did you have for Rin?” I asked. “When she entered Yamaku.”

“Would you think less of me if I told you my honest opinion?” Mr. Tezuka asked bluntly, his expression stoic.

“I don’t think I will, assuming it’s what I think it is,” I answered diplomatically, neither confirming nor denying his assertion. “As much as I care for Rin, I do admit that things could get difficult with her sometimes. Though it’s improved as our relationship went on, I’m sure there will be times where problems will arise.”

“You truly do know her, don’t you? Truth be told, I found that more unlikely than Rin having a boyfriend,” he mused, looking down at the ground. “Rin’s a wonderful child, and my wife and I are blessed to have her. At the same time, while we missed her dearly, I do admit to feeling slightly relieved to have sent her to Yamaku.”


The implications of what he said didn’t go unnoticed. It seemed Rin’s parents appreciated her absence to some degree, even if they still cared for her. I recalled a time that I felt the same, though it was a long time since I wanted her away from me, back when she was setting up her first gallery.

Now, the thought of her gone was probably the last thing I would ever want, even if it was for a short amount of time. After our brief time apart, I wanted her by my side for as long as fate allowed me.

“Is that why you didn’t visit her until now?” I inquired, not wanting to make any assumptions. “Or why you two didn’t communicate with her beyond letters?”

“No, we actually did consider driving down to Yamaku a few times,” he answered, and I could hear the sincerity in his voice, emphasizing how he wanted to do so. “One time we got as far as trying to tell her, but we never did. Something always stopped us before we could go through with it, and so we waited until her time in Yamaku was almost over.”

“Rin was a great child, as she was never really troublesome and loved both of us in her own special way. But she wasn’t independent, and that was our worry when she was transitioning into high school. Her lack of friends and discomfort with leaving home for long periods made us concerned that she might become too sedentary, and that she might not be able to live her own life without us.”

Our sushi arrived, and we thanked the restaurant workers before exiting and heading back home, each of us carrying a tray of sushi.

“And we sent her to Yamaku, away from us,” Mr. Tezuka continued as he walked, though both his movement and his words were at a slower pace than before. “More than her grades, we hoped that she would be able to learn things that she hadn’t before. Making friends, living on her own, thinking about her future…”

“Well, she’s doing fine on those fronts,” I said, trying to sound encouraging and provide a bit of levity. “And her grades are fine too, so I think you’ve gotten most of what you wanted.”

“...Yes, it seems so,” he concurred, and for the first time, I saw the briefest of smiles on his face. “And I know that you’re a large part of her development.”

“It goes both ways, I think,” I corrected. “I wasn’t in the best state when I entered Yamaku myself, and being with Rin got me to learn some lessons of my own, not to mention help get me back on my feet. So I’d say we helped each other develop into more than what we were, I think.”

“I see…” Mr. Tezuka looked at me, the small smile still present on his face. “Would you like some ice cream? I seem to be in the mood for some, and there’s a store that sells it nearby.”

I couldn’t help but find that offer interesting, thinking of Rin mentioning something related to both her father and ice cream, though I wasn’t sure what. It felt rude refusing despite not particularly craving it, so I nodded and he changed directions almost immediately.

The detour didn’t take all that long, as the store was close to where we were, and soon enough there were ice creams in our hands, a popsicle in my hand with a chocolate cone in his alongside another two popsicles for Rin and Mrs. Tezuka.

“Having Rin did change us, too,” he said after a period of silence once again. “She was our first and only child, and we had little to no experience in raising one. It was certainly a learning experience, one that left us with many sleepless nights and the occasional headache.”

“She was like most other babies, I assume?” I said in a joking manner.

“If you mean crying at the most inopportune times and needing a diaper changed often, then yes,” Mr. Tezuka responded, and even laughed slightly, though it was an extremely soft one. “Those certainly weren’t the easiest years of our lives, and truth be told I felt often unequipped to deal with her, much to my own dismay. I can’t count the number of times I had to remind myself that Rin simply couldn’t do things that have become second nature to me. But they were some of the happiest, seeing her grow up and become who she is.”

I took a bite out of my popsicle before responding. “I feel the same way when I’m with her. It’s very tough being by her side sometimes, but I can’t think of anything else that would make me as happy as I am with her.”

“It’s odd,” Mr. Tezuka looked up at the sky. “I didn’t know what to expect from you, but it certainly wasn’t…well, it’s hard to put into words.”

“Well, you did say you never expected Rin to have a boyfriend,” I pointed out, now smiling a little as well. “But if you were to make some sort of standard right now, would I match up?”

“I’ll have to think about it,” he answered, sounding quite serious about it, which unnerved me slightly. “But with how comfortable she seems around you, how she spoke of you, and what you’ve told me…You have my blessing, at least until I’ve seen anything that would make me revoke it. Please take good care of my daughter.”

I felt the weight of his words, as if gravity suddenly increased. Having his blessing meant more to me than I thought it would, and I found myself feeling relieved that I have his approval.

“I will,” was all I could really answer. “I will…”

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When we got back to the house, Mrs. Tezuka looked slightly exasperated at the presence of the desserts we had. Nevertheless, she accepted the one we gave her, and soon Rin came downstairs and had some as well.

Since none of us were particularly hungry, Mrs. Tezuka decided to show off a bit of her skills with a piano, playing a variety of pieces that had vastly different tones and atmospheres. Rin and Mr. Tezuka listened intently, and I could see that they were drawn into the music. Even I felt a bit immersed, almost as if I could imagine a scenario where the piece would be played as a backdrop, like a scene from a movie or a play.

A slow solemn piece overseeing a funeral for a loved one, a peppy joyous piece as if kids were playing together. It was a similar feeling I got when seeing Rin’s more realistic art pieces, as if they were worlds I could enter for a brief moment.

“I missed hearing you play,” Rin said once she was finished, walking up to her and resting her head against her back. “I remembered when you played and I sat beside you, humming the tune even though it might have been offkey, like a member in a band that couldn’t play his instrument but his bandmates still have him because he’s a friend but not a good musician.”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Mrs. Tezuka responded as she closed the piano’s cover. “I was afraid I’d get a little rusty since I haven’t played in a while, so I practiced a bit before we came to get you.”

“You don’t play every day anymore?” Rin asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Mrs. Tezuka admitted, and I could sense a hint of nervousness in her. “I still play every now and then, but I haven’t really played consistently over the past two years or so. Occasionally I might try out a new piece so the piano won’t gather dust, but otherwise I don’t really feel like playing most of the time, even if your father is eagerly waiting for the next time I perform.”

“You say that as if it were a bad thing.” Mr. Tezuka pointed out.

“Well, there are always CDs you could listen to,” Mrs. Tezuka countered with a disarming smile. “Hardly fair to expect me to play whenever you’d like, especially for no pay. People make a lot of money for this, and I do it for free.”

“CDs don’t compare to the real thing,” Mr. Tezuka responded. He rose and headed to the kitchen. “I’ll get the plates out.”

Rin looked at her father as he went into the kitchen. “Hmm, he usually argues with you, and not the angry kind like when students don’t submit homework in time. The happy kind of arguing, like how seeing people kill in stories makes people happy, but seeing people actually kill makes people uncomfortable and angry.”

“Oh, we still do that from time to time, just not as much,” Mrs. Tezuka said. “I think we’ve gotten to the point in our marriage where an argument tires us out too much, even the fun ones. So we simply agree to disagree on things unless they’re important enough, which they usually aren’t.”

“Mm, that’s different…” Rin seemed conflicted about it, but didn’t say anything more as Mr. Tezuka returned to distribute the plates onto the dining table. I offered to assist him, which he seemed grateful for, and soon after that dinner began.

The sushi was rather nice, with a glass of green liquid that I assume was some sort of juice to wash it down.Everyone seemed to take their time in eating. If we were having this sort of meal with our friends back at Yamaku, there would likely have been a frantic grab for the sushi, particularly from Emi.

Rin and I were sitting on one bench while Mr. and Mrs. Tezuka were sitting on the opposite end. Thanks to the larger space, Rin was able to comfortably use her legs to grab the sushi with her feet, which was likely the reason why there were benches instead of chairs.

“Hisao, can you feed me?” she asked after a bit, and I obliged by grabbing a piece of sushi with my chopsticks and popping it into her mouth.. After she’d chewed and swallowed, she asked, “Will you always do that when I ask?”

“I’ll try to,” I answered, finding her question odd. “I don’t think I’d be able to do that if…say, I was asleep.”

“Then can I wake you up?” she added. “And then will you feed me?”

“I suppose I would,” I replied with a blush on my face, noticing the stares of her parents as we went back and forth. “Although I don’t think waking me up just for that would be the best idea.”

“Mm, I suppose you’re right,” Rin conceded, going for another piece of sushi with her legs. “It’s like waking a fisherman to go fishing, except that there’s a lot of canned fish in the house, even if the fisherman didn’t catch the fish that were in the cans despite the fact that the fish he catches might end up in a can.”

“Well, since the two of them are doing it,” Mrs. Tezuka said, and opened her mouth while facing her husband. “Ahhhh~”

Mr. Tezuka grabbed a sushi and placed it in her mouth, looking completely unaffected by her gesture either positively or negatively. I wondered if he simply hid those emotions within himself, or if he was truly that calm most of the time.

Dinner proceeded as evening turned into night, with Rin’s parents asking various questions of us, which I answered most of at Rin’s prompting. I also asked a few of my own out of a sense of fairness, and learnt about how they met, a bit more about their jobs and interests. It was interesting to discover these facts about them, having known them more than anyone else’s parents besides my own, even my old friends from before I went to Yamaku.

“Mom, do you still have my old paints and brushes?” Rin asked suddenly, grabbing one of the few remaining pieces of sushi left.

“You’ve seen your room, dear,” Mrs. Tezuka replied gently. “You know they’re all still there.”

“Can’t even imagine the scolding I’d get if I got rid of them,” Mr. Tezuka commented, and I heard a light thud from under the table, though neither of Rin’s parents changed expressions. “...Hm, it’s been a while since you’ve kicked me.”

“Want to make it a habit again?” Mrs. Tezuka asked in a playful yet threatening tone, reminding me of Emi.

“Not really…” Was all Mr. Tezuka said blandly.

“I want to paint something,” Rin said, completely ignoring what happened as if it were routine. “With those old paints and brushes, I'm using something old to paint something new, so it’ll be old and new even if most people would just think it’s new. Like a book that’s been around for a long, long time but just got printed.”

“Of course, I’ll set it up once we’re done,” Mrs. Tezuka answered with an extremely happy tone in her voice. “Honestly, I wanted you to paint something while you’re staying here. Do you want your father and I to watch?”

Rin nodded. “Yes, I want you both to watch. Hisao, too.”

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, my stomach’s just about full,” Mrs. Tezuka said, rising from the table before leaving for the kitchen with her plate and utensils. “I’ll go clean up and prepare things in Rin’s room. Feel free to leave your plates in the sink.”

She soon emerged from the kitchen and headed upstairs, leaving the three of us to finish dinner. It didn’t take long for us to do so. Mr. Tezuka and I decided not to follow her advice, and we cleaned up instead of leaving it all to her. Once we were finished, all of us walked up the stairs towards Rin’s room.

Mrs. Tezuka already had an easel with a canvas on it, several brushes and paint tubes ready. I noticed the floor was still quite the mess. It seemed that she had only moved what was necessary in an effort not to disturb the chaos of the room.

“Oh, done already?” Mrs. Tezuka said with a smile as she moved the easel slightly to the right. “I think this is where it was usually placed when you painted.”

“Mm, a little more to the left,” Rin requested. “I don’t know if it will make it exactly like how it was when I paint, but I feel it might. Like how you can feel the wind blowing, but you don’t know where it’s going and when it’ll end.”

Mrs. Tezuka did as she said and reverted the easel to its original position, which Rin seemed to be satisfied with as she sat down onto the floor in front of it, legs already outstretched in preparation to grab a brush or a paint bottle.

Mrs. Tezuka moved to where we were, just near the doorway looking down at Rin, who was completely still for the moment. Both of them didn’t seem to mind waiting, and I knew that trying to rush her art was a foolish prospect.

“Mm, I’m thinking…” Rin stated to no one in particular, sounding slightly annoyed.

Eventually though, she grabbed a brush between her toes and got to work, dipping it in an old paint bottle and making a brushstroke onto the canvas, signaling the start of her work. As was often the case when she painted, all I did was observe until she called out for me, usually to help with some task.

Early on it was hard to tell what kind of piece Rin was making, but eventually as she added more colors and brushstrokes, a picture slowly began to form. To my surprise, it wasn’t an abstract piece this time, but rather a landscape painting. Or rather, two landscape paintings merging into one.

The individual landscapes were rather distinct from one another, one being a field of grass while the other was a street with a house near the center, and yet there was no clear line of intersection. It was as if they were truly merging into one, with bits and pieces of each scattered out in seemingly random locations, yet looking as if they were meant to be there all along.

I briefly turned to watch Rin’s parents, and noticed the looks in their eyes as they gazed upon their daughter, completely immersed in seeing her paint. I thought it was the same look that I often gave when seeing her paint, a mix of awe and empathy at her expressing herself in a way only an artist can.

Looking back at Rin, I could see her legs moving extremely quickly, alternating between dipping her brush into a new color and applying it on the canvas with a pace that was almost frantic. Soon more of the painting came to life, and I could see that the house was rather similar to this one, the one she’d spent so much of her life in.

The field of grass was dotted with dandelions, both sticking out of the grass and taking flight. It was immediately clear that it was the dandelion field we so loved to go to, and I began to understand at least some of the painting’s intent.

A mixture of past and present, with elements of both melding into something on its own. As she placed her finishing touches onto the piece, I felt a sense of longing from the painting, but also a sort of serene comfort as well. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was how she felt about it too, and about her past and present.

“Mm, I think it’s done,” Rin announced, leaning her body back until her head was able to look behind her. “Like how work is done, even though there’s more work tomorrow.”

“It looks lovely, Rin,” Mrs. Tezuka said as she sat down beside her, grabbing the canvas and peering at it. Mr. Tezuka went forward as well and brushed Rin’s hair affectionately. “I can definitely see that this is our house.”

“Something else, too.” Mr. Tezuka observed, though did not elaborate further.

“I thought of you two when I was painting,” Rin explained, leaning against her mother. “But not entirely, like how a chemist uses different chemicals to create something useful. You two were like an element, and Hisao was another element, and I mixed you two to make this painting even though none of you painted any part of this.”

I scratched the back of my head in mild embarrassment, though I felt flattered that she thought of me on the same level as her parents while painting. Rin’s parents didn’t seem to pay me any mind as they talked and pampered their daughter, leaving me feeling like an outsider once more.

Still, watching them so happy together brought a smile on my face, especially Rin as she talked so comfortably to the two of them. It was clear that there was an implicit trust between her and her parents, regardless of how distant they were before.

“Mm, I want to give this to you,” Rin spoke. “It’s something from the new me, even though both of you know the old me and some part of me is still the old me.”

“We’ll make sure to take good care of it,” Mrs. Tezuka replied. “But you must be extremely tired, dear, with the long drive here and all. Why not take a shower and call it a day?”

“Can Hisao shower with me?”

That question made the room dead silent,and my eyes went wide at Rin’s rather brazen question. A part of me wanted to slip out of the room. Unfortunately, I did not do so before her parents turned to stare at me, and their eyes were unsurprisingly less cordial than before. I did not say anything, feeling that silence was the best way out of this rather dangerous situation, hoping Rin would not add anything else that might incriminate me further.

“Actually, I was thinking of taking a bath with you,” Mrs. Tezuka said lightly. “We haven’t done that in so long. Do you remember when you tried to eat the bubbles?”

“Yes,” Rin answered. “It’ll be like when Emi bathes with me, even though you’re not Emi and Emi’s not you, and I don’t eat bubbles now.”

“Perfect, I’ll get the water ready in my room,” Mrs. Tezuka said, and practically pushed Rin out with a mild look of confusion in her face, leaving me alone with Mr. Tezuka. Quite possibly the worst time to be in such a situation.

Much like when we were going out to buy dinner, there was a silence between us. This one was far more awkward, as he simply glared at me with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll not ask any questions but one,” he said. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

That question felt as if he were digging a minefield right under my feet, where a wrong move could cause a catastrophic explosion. I pondered what to tell him, vacillating between admitting the truth or downplaying it. Both options felt unappealing.

In the end, I simply shook my head and refused to reveal anything that might raise any further ire, though it possibly left him free to imagine what had happened between Rin and me for himself. Regardless, that option felt like the best of a bad bunch.

“I see…” He muttered, obviously unconvinced. “I’m not going to pry, and I doubt my wife will either. You two are practically adults, so what you do is your business.”

I silently breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that I’d gotten a far luckier outcome than I ever could have hoped for.

“However.”

That one word from him, despite there being no difference in volume, made my hairs stand on end as I suppressed the urge to flinch.

“Any…unexpected or undesired outcomes will be your responsibility,” he added, and there was little ambiguity to his manner of speaking, which was nothing short of utterly imposing. “The heater’s switch is next to the mirror, but it’ll take a few minutes for the water to heat up. You’re free to bathe however long you wish.”

He left the room soon after and I lay down on the bed, feeling as if I’d just run an entire marathon with Emi. It was fair to say that the more intimate aspects of our relationship were now an open secret.

Hopefully that wouldn’t be a problem during my stay here, because I doubted that I would be able to face them if it were.

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I was left to process the awkwardness with an admittedly relaxing shower, which calmed me down slightly. When I was done I simply waited in the room until Rin arrived with her parents, who acted like usual, though it felt like there was an unspoken difference in my relationship with them.

Still, they seemed comfortable with letting us sleep in the same bed, which was surely a sign that I still have their approval for the most part.

With it already being late, we both decided to sleep and simply laid on the bed side by side once I shut off the light, though the moonlight that came through the window illuminated the ceiling. The yellow dots representing stars almost seemed to glisten and shine.

Turning to see Rin, she didn’t look ready to sleep just yet, her expression showing that something was on her mind.

“How are you feeling?” I asked her, extending a hand to touch her cheek.

“Mm, a bit of everything,” Rin admitted, nuzzling my hand. “A bit happy, a bit sad, a bit afraid and a bit…I don’t know the word. It’s like a recipe list full of ingredients, but they turn into a dish that has way too many flavors even though the flavors themselves are good so they should be even more good but they’re not…”

“I suppose that makes sense,” I responded with a gentle smile. “It’s what I felt going back home during winter break. Like you’re seeing what your life was, but also what it can’t really be anymore.”

“That’s exactly it, Hisao,” Rin answered, and smiled. It wasn’t a particularly happy one, but it was nevertheless genuine. “You understand.”

“I try to,” I responded, letting out a yawn. “But even if we can’t go back to the way things were, we can still look forward.”

“Mm, I know. But I still want to look back…” Rin said, and closed her eyes. “I’ll look back until we go back to Yamaku, and then I’ll look forward. But no matter where I look, I want you to be there.”

“I will be,” I promised, my eyelids getting heavy. “Goodnight, Rin.”

“Goodnight, Hisao.”

[DreamerBauka]

This is a great job, I'm certainly not a connoisseur of English, but the translation helps me understand. And what you add and bring to life in this text is just something... very beautiful. I read all the chapters in one gulp in a few days. And I will slowly wait for the continuation from you, thank you for simply using the text you give a lot of emotions and thoughts.

[kulkukan]

So comfy but also so odd. Perfect writing for Rin. This is still going well, and I hope you continue to completion. Good job.
Sorry I don't have much detail to add, I have not the words for it.