Already reaping the benefits! I feel like I can write freely within this story now. Hope this one is enjoyable.
Glancing around, I realize that even though I've been here before, I didn't really pay attention to Hitomi's room. It's not unlike my own. The layout is a bit different, but like me, Hitomi apparently hasn't bothered to do much to make it personal to her. I wonder if that's just how she is, or if it's just a symptom of her having transferred here fairly recently.
Her bedspread and curtains are the same generic ones that I have in my own room. Clothes hang in the closet- both school uniforms and her more casual attire. A few schoolbooks are strewn across her desk, along with what appears to be a partly completed homework assignment.
One thing that stands out is her bow, which hangs prominently on the wall above her desk, unstrung. It looks like she mounted a pair of hooks to rest it on. In the corner of the room, her small quiver is propped up against the wall with a dozen or so bamboo arrows sticking out.
Unlike my room, however, hers doesn't seem quite so neat. The way her papers are scattered on her desk appears to have no real order to it. A school uniform sits in a heap on the floor beside the bed- along with one of her tank tops and a pair of black athletic shoes.
I realize that I've been looking around without saying anything, which under the current circumstances might be confusing to Hitomi. I turn back to her, but she's not looking at me. Not that it matters, I guess. Before I say anything, she takes a few careful, slow steps away from the door, her right arm extended slightly in front of her, until she finds the edge of her bed and sits back on it delicately.
Something about her movements seems…
off. I guess I've never seen her trying to navigate without her sight, other than the night of the festival. But that time, I was there to guide her.
The memory of Lilly walking with me from the tea room to my class to check on Hanako comes to mind, and I ask the question that comes into my head before I can think too much about it.
"Do you have a cane?"
Hitomi, who's now sitting with her hands in her lap and facing the floor in front of her, grimaces slightly.
"No."
Sensitive topic? Or is it just anything related to her blindness that bothers her?
Not wanting to be presumptuous, I take a seat in Hitomi's desk chair rather than on her bed. She turns her head faintly in my direction at the noise, but says nothing.
The silence between us grows in length and depth. Normally, when we sit together without talking, there's a comforting air to it. That's completely gone right now. It's not awkwardness, exactly, like with Molly earlier. It's… deeper than that. More oppressive. Like we both know something we do not want to talk about, even though I'm not exactly sure what that is.
Why did she invite me in, if it was going to be like this? Or maybe she was hoping it wouldn't be? Maybe she wanted me to talk to her, to be here with her, so that it wouldn't be quite so depressing in here? What can I say, though?
It doesn't help that I'm continuously distracted by Hitomi's exposed body, either. As down as she seems right now, she doesn't appear to be ashamed at all of me seeing her in this state of undress. I wonder if she even realizes the effect she's having on me. Nothing in her demeanor indicates shyness or embarrassment.
As the silence continues to stretch on, I find my mind wandering frantically for something to talk about. Anything. Hitomi's lack of clothing and my earlier conversation with Shizune are the only two things I can think about, and I don't want to bring up either subject right now…
Scrambling, I open my mouth and just start talking. "Ah, Molly mentioned that she's seeing her family this weekend, and I realized I don't have anything planned. Did you have something you wanted to do?"
Hitomi doesn't react for several long, tense seconds. Eventually, she shakes her head slowly.
"No. Molly?"
"Oh, sorry. A girl from my class. We got paired up to work together, since Shizune and Misha were absent. Well, actually, it was the two of us and Suzu, another girl from my class, but she left early as well, and…"
I trail off as I realize that I'm rambling about stuff I seriously doubt Hitomi would care about even under normal circumstances, much less right now. She shows no reaction to the stream of information, other than closing her eyes. For another few long seconds, we sit in uncomfortable silence.
The energy, the motion, the sheer
life that Hitomi normally exudes is absent, and it's absolutely killing me. It's like she's a completely different person right now. Still quiet and soft-spoken, I guess, but her confidence and strength are just… gone. It's terrifying.
Her shoulders begin to shake gently, then with more force. A quiet sob slips from her lips, and I realize that she's crying. I see her eyes well up with tears before she lowers her head, her messy hair obscuring her face.
Just like last week…
Compassion and instinct override my propriety, and I move quickly to sit beside her on her bed, putting an arm around Hitomi's shoulders. She doesn't seem to react, continuing to cry quietly for several minutes while I try to be as comforting as I know how. Finally, she acknowledges me.
"Hisao, what if-" She swallows. "What if this is it?"
I squeeze her shoulder gently. "What do you mean?"
"What if it doesn't come back?"
Hitomi continues to cry, and I pull her closer, feeling my own eyes well up with unexpected tears. She allows herself to lean on me, her head against my chest. She's cool to the touch, I realize. As if the energy she normally gives off just isn't there. A tear falls down my own cheek, though I'm careful to contain myself enough that Hitomi won't sense that I'm crying too. She needs me to be strong, right now.
What am I supposed to say? She might be right. This might be it.
But what good is it to think like that? It's scary, and could be the truth, but it also might not be, right? I take a long breath to strengthen myself, and begin to speak, forcing myself to believe the words even as they leave my mouth.
"You can't know that, Hitomi. You have to just believe it'll come back. It has every time so far, right?"
She swallows, and nods against me.
"Then it will this time too."
I hold her for a while, and her crying gradually falls to a soft whimpering, and then finally to silence. She remains still beside me, so I make no move to change position either, giving her time to recover.
As much as I'm sharing in her fear and grief, I realize that I'm also feeling a sense of warmth from being able to comfort her like this. Even if I'm totally helpless when it comes to her actual problem, at least I can help her deal with it in this small way.
That thought makes me smile.
"Hisao?"
I look down to find that Hitomi is looking up towards me, although her eyes are still unfocused.
"Hmm?"
"I should probably put a shirt on."
I chuckle slightly.
"I mean, I don't mind…"
That earns me a genuine smile- and a playful slap on the arm- but she gets up anyway and kneels on the floor, sweeping her hands back and forth across the carpet around her. Quickly, she grows frustrated, so I kneel down as well and grab the black tank top I assume she's looking for. She mutters a faint 'thanks' and pulls it on over her head quickly. Then she grimaces, pulls it back off, turns it around, and puts it on again, this time facing the correct direction.
I take her hand and guide it back to the bed, but rather than getting onto it again, Hitomi just sits on the floor and leans back against the bed. I try not to think too hard about it as I sit beside her, taking her hand in mine. The silence doesn't feel quite so oppressive now. If anything, it's relaxing…
---
I'm lying on my back, in my bed. Beside me, Hitomi is snuggled up beneath the sheets in just her underwear, one arm draped over my chest. Her slow, rhythmic breathing tells me that she's still asleep. Faint sunlight streams through my curtains, but I don't think we have to get up just yet. Content, I pull her closer, just happy to be here with her.
Opening my eyes lazily, I glance around at the posters on the walls, thinking that I've kinda outgrown all of this. It feels like a lifetime ago that I called this place 'home'. Come to think of it, I haven't seen my bedroom since the day of my first attack. Even though it all looks exactly the same, it feels different now, somehow.
I can't quite make out any of the posters; the images seeming too blurry to discern any details. Then, as I focus on one, it becomes clear- but it's just a generic reminder to eat three meals daily and from all the food groups. Not exactly great interior design there, Hisao.
A familiar voice is telling me to make sure I'm getting my exercise. I turn in my chair to look at the man in the white medical coat, but can't seem to make out his face. Nurse? Yeah, this is his office, after all. In the chair beside me, Hitomi laughs at something Nurse said, but I didn't hear whatever it was. I'm struck by her laughter though- it's possibly the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life. I stare at her, and her bright, emerald eyes stare back at me as she smiles broadly.
"Did you see that shot, Hisao?"
I turn towards the fallen oak tree across the clearing, and though the fading light of the evening makes it hard to see, I can make out an arrow stuck right in the knot at the center of the ancient trunk. Hitomi lowers her bow, her eyes searching mine for something. Encouragement? Approval? I pull her into a tight embrace, and she giggles into my chest.
"Hisao?"
She pushes against me, shaking my shoulder. I grin down at her. Even though I'm way bigger than her, this girl is still strong enough to move me, and she knows it! She puts her hand against my arm and shoves harder, giving me a good shake.
Blinking, I look at Hitomi sitting beside me as she shakes my shoulder with a concerned expression on her face.
"Hey, you okay?"
I blink a few more times, trying to get my bearings. Right. Hitomi's room. I'm sitting on the floor, leaning on her bed. I came here to talk to her, but she couldn't see, so I was comforting her.
As reality slowly reasserts itself in my mind, the memory of the dream rapidly begins to fade. Recalling the amazing feeling of Hitomi beside me, I desperately try to remember what we were doing together, where we were- but the details fade from my mind no matter how hard I try to hold on to them. I feel a pang of loss as they slip through my mental fingers.
Hitomi is still looking at me with a worried expression. Her hair is neat and brushed now, not a tangled mess. Her eyes are locked onto me, a pair of piercing emeralds that seem to draw me in. I shake myself fully awake.
"Uh, yeah. Guess I drifted off there, huh?"
Hitomi grins at me. "Yep. For like two hours."
I blink in surprise. "Seriously?"
She nods. "At least, I think it was that long. I couldn't exactly check the clock at first."
I realize two things at once. If I've been sleeping here all this time, did Hitomi just stay seated next to me? For how long? She must have gotten up at some point to brush her hair, I guess. But much more important than that…
"You can see?"
Her smile broadens.
"Yep."
Without thinking about it, I pull her into a tight hug. She laughs gently, returning the gesture only briefly before pushing me gently off of her.
"Wanna go do something?" she asks, unusually chipper.
Really, I'm still super tired, but after how down she was earlier there's no way I'm rejecting her offer. I just nod.
Hitomi stands, and offers me a hand. I let her pull me to my feet, an action that seems to take her surprisingly little effort. I'm impressed- until I realize that I lost a ton of weight in the hospital, and likely nearly anyone could lift me without too much trouble.
Let's not dwell on that right now.
Hitomi is pulling her shoes on- and I realize I'm still in my uniform.
"Hey, mind if I go get changed?"
She shakes her head. "Meet me by the crazy mural?"
I nod and agree, walking to the door and exiting Hitomi's room without thinking about it. To my surprise, I nearly run into Hanako, who's entering the door across the hall from Lilly's room. I recall Lilly mentioning that Hanako and she were assigned rooms in the same hall, but for some reason I had forgotten until now. Hanako stares at me coming out of Hitomi's room in shock, then blushes and quickly rushes into her own room, shutting the door.
I sigh. That will no doubt lead to an awkward conversation. Or several…
---
"…hell are you wearing?"
I only catch the tail end of Hitomi's question as I approach her at Rin's mural, having changed into my casual attire before rushing back outside to meet her. She's wearing her hoodie and jeans as well, so I guess we both prepared for cooler evening temperatures.
I look from her arched eyebrow down to my sweater vest and slacks, then shrug. "It's practical. Casual, but formal enough for most situations."
Hitomi shakes her head, turning to begin walking towards the school gate, and I move alongside her.
"
This is practical." she gestures vaguely to her hoodie. "
That is…" she glances over at me again, smirks, then shakes her head, not bothering to finish the thought.
We make our way down the hill in relative silence, only speaking occasionally and about nothing in particular. As usual, Hitomi keeps the pace relatively slow. I don't tell her how much I appreciate that, but I hope she knows.
The quiet is broken when we reach town and I realize I have no idea where we're going. "Hey, um, are we heading anywhere in particular?"
Hitomi shrugs. "Not really. I like to walk around town sometimes. Helps clear my head."
I nod in understanding. I do the same thing at Yamaku, though walking this far from the campus alone would be pretty irresponsible for someone like me. Then again, with her condition, it's probably not a great idea for Hitomi either- but I'm not gonna be the one to tell her that. Somehow, I doubt she'd appreciate being reminded of her limitations.
"You come down here a lot then?"
Another shrug. "Sometimes."
I smile at her. "You mind giving me the grand tour? I've only been down here a couple times myself."
She smiles back and takes my arm in hers, adopting a more formal tone that I suspect is partly out of playfulness, and partly intended to mock my attire.
"To your left, sir, you will see the local Aura Mart. It is the cornerstone of the town's economy; a true economic marvel."
Hitomi continues to give overly fancified descriptions of each location as we pass it, including the local park, the Shanghai teahouse, a small hairdresser, and several other local businesses we pass as we stroll casually through town. I find myself laughing more than her humor really calls for, though it is pretty funny to hear the tiny town given such a dramatic tour, as if we were in Kyoto itself. Something about just hanging out with Hitomi, getting to see this side of her, is putting butterflies in my stomach.
When she's practicing archery, Hitomi has this strange intensity to her. Since most of our time together so far has been centered around that activity, I've grown accustomed to seeing her act that way. Getting to see her joke around and act more like a kid is fun, even if it does change my perception of her a bit. As different as Hitomi seems at times, in the end she's just a kid my age. Same as the rest of the students.
"And here, we have the finest noodle shop in the whole city." She gestures dramatically at the shop I visited just yesterday with Miki and company, and leads me towards the front door, dropping the act all at once. "Seriously though, it's not bad. You hungry too?"
I chuckle and enter alongside her, nodding to the older woman who looks up as we find a table. She quickly moves to grab a few menus, and comes to see what we want. If she recognizes me from yesterday evening, she doesn't give any sign. I guess Yamaku students likely make up the bulk of the customers for this place.
We each order a bowl of noodles and some coffee. Naturally, Hitomi and I sit across from one another in the small booth, but we find quickly that silence is far more comfortable when you're sitting side-by-side, with something to look at other than each other. We're both pretty much just looking at the table, glancing at each other occasionally. It's not all bad, with half-formed smiles and occasional conversation mixed in, but it's still pretty awkward.
Thankfully our coffee comes quickly, giving us both something to look at between our short bouts of speaking. Still, this is going to get uncomfortable if I don't find something for us to talk about. The first few subjects that come to mind are not ideal, but I settle on one that shouldn't be too bad.
"Hey, have you ever met Emi Ibarazaki?"
Hitomi wrinkles her brow slightly, then slowly shakes her head. "Don't think so. The one trying to get you to run with her?"
I nod. "Short, kinda bubbly, runs into people in the halls? No legs?"
That gets a smile and a nod of recognition "Yeah, I've had to dodge that one a couple times. What about her?"
"I ran into her this morning- well, not literally- and she mentioned that there are a lot of rumors going around lately..." I leave off what they're about, wondering if she's heard the same. If not, it might be safer to downplay it, after all.
Hitomi nods, undisturbed. "About you and me."
I arch an eyebrow, leaning forward over the table. "Your class too, then?"
"Some. Probably more when I'm not there." She takes a long sip of her coffee, her expression even.
I wait, searching her eyes for a reaction, but none seems to be forthcoming. "So, that doesn't bother you at all?"
She shrugs, sitting back. "Why should it? It's a school. People talk. Whether or not what they talk about is true usually doesn't matter."
I sit back as well, mirroring her posture instinctively. "So, it's not true, then? What they're saying?"
Yet another shrug. "Who can say?" A ghost of a smile plays across her lips, and she takes another drink of her coffee.
I'm trying to think of a clever reply, with just the right amount of flirting mixed in, when we're interrupted by the sound of the restaurant door opening- and two familiar voices. Surprised, I turn in my seat to see that indeed, the voices belong to Miki and Suzu. Seeing as we're the only other customers here, they spot us immediately. Miki smiles, and makes her way over, Suzu following her with a more neutral expression.
"Hisao! You liked the place that much, huh?" Not waiting for an invitation, Miki plops down in the booth beside Hitomi, who moves to make room for her. I do the same as Suzu catches up and eases herself into the seat on my side of the table. I look at Hitomi, who of course seems unfazed by this development, and nod in her direction.
"Hitomi, this is Miki Miura, and Suzu Suzuki, both from Class 3-3. Miki, Suzu, this is Hitomi Nomura. She's in 3-2." I gesture at each girl as I make introductions.
Miki gives a friendly grin, and extends her good- and only- hand to Hitomi in greeting. "Good to finally meet you!" Hitomi takes her hand and gives it a single, firm shake, muttering a quiet response. Suzu simply nods at Hitomi from across the table.
Thinking quickly, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "Hitomi is from up north too, Miki."
"Aw, no way! What part?" Miki turns from me back to Hitomi excitedly, asking several questions before Hitomi has a chance to respond. When she does, however, Hitomi actually seems at least somewhat engaged in the conversation, talking briefly about the region and village her family is from. I don't recognize the names, but apparently Miki does, and pretty quickly the girls are trading stories about childhood exploits in the countryside. Well, mostly Miki is, but Hitomi adds an anecdote or two of her own.
I turn to Suzu, who to my surprise doesn't seem to be paying attention to the conversation, and is instead looking at me. As soon as our eyes meet, hers narrow.
"What happened with Molly today?" she whispers.
I blink at her in confusion for several long seconds. "Sorry?" I match her low volume as well, glancing at the two girls across the table. They don't pay us any attention.
"After I left."
I rub the back of my head, trying to figure out where this line of questioning is supposed to lead. "We finished the assignment. Why?"
She rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything further. Mentally shrugging the odd question off for now, I return my attention to Hitomi and Miki.
"Anyway, he only had like second degree burns on his legs, but his parents were pissed."
Hitomi shakes her head. "Fireworks are fun, but not if you're stupid about it."
"Are you kidding!? They're the most fun when you're stupid about it!" Miki retorts. Both girls laugh at that, Miki loud and long, Hitomi soft and quick. I give a forced laugh as well, but on the inside I'm cringing.
These girls seriously like to mess around with fireworks?
---
At some point our food comes, and Miki and Suzu order as well. Most of the conversation is on Miki's side of the table, but Hitomi, Suzu and I each engage with her at different times. One thing that becomes increasingly obvious is that Suzu does not talk to Hitomi directly, or even seem to acknowledge her. I don't pick up on it right away, since Hitomi is pretty much just responding to Miki's chatter anyway, but we're all talking to each other to some degree. Except Suzu to Hitomi. If Hitomi notices, it doesn't seem to be bothering her, but it's not like she'd show it if it did.
When we finish eating, Hitomi and I pay for our meals, make our excuses, and move to leave, and the other two exit the booth to let us out. Miki gives us a friendly wave, while Suzu merely nods in my general direction. I sigh internally.
Great. I'm probably gonna have to ask her what that was all about.
In stark contrast to when we entered the town, our walk through it back to the hill is made in dead silence. I'm caught up in my thoughts about Suzu's behavior, and Hitomi seems uninterested in talking as well.
Glancing up at the dimming sky, I realize that we've been out a pretty long time. We'll have to walk at a good pace to make it back by sunset.
As we pass the last few buildings and start up the road, Hitomi finally speaks.
"Suzu doesn't like me."
It's a statement, not a question, and made without any inflection or indication that the fact bothers her. Still, I feel a need to respond to it.
"…yeah, I picked up on that."
She glances at me, seemingly uncomfortable, but doesn't say anything else. Uncertain, I continue.
"Sorry, I'm not sure what her problem was. Does it bother you?"
She shakes her head. "Not particularly. You?"
"It was more confusing than anything. I just don't understand what her issue was."
"If it bothers you, you can just ask her. She's your friend."
I take a moment to think about that statement. Is Suzu my friend? I suppose, to a small degree, the term could apply, but among all the Yamaku students I've met now, Hitomi is the only one with a real claim to the title.
"I guess."
We don't say anything more on the subject, but the silence we settle into now that we've talked that over is much less tense. It seems that as long as there isn’t some unspoken awkward topic between us, Hitomi and I are comfortable together now. The thought makes me happy, I realize. I like being comfortable with her.
And I suspect that the feeling is mutual…
We eventually reach the top of the hill, then the gates, then the mural, and finally the place between dorms where we usually part ways. I stop, and Hitomi does as well, neither of us in any hurry to separate.
"I had fun today." I say, giving Hitomi a warm smile.
"Me too." She looks down at her feet, an expression that's damn near bashful. Seeing her act like that gives me an unusual surge of courage, and I press forward before I can talk myself out of it.
"Want to do something tomorrow? Maybe in the city?"
Hitomi looks up at me and returns my smile. Hers is so cute, I think I feel my heart skip a beat.
"I'd like that."
Then, she stretches up onto her tippy-toes, and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Just a peck, an instant in time, but I feel the blood rush to my face and sweat start to bead on my forehead all at once at the momentary contact. It paralyzes me, my mouth half open with whatever follow-up comment I had been about to give entirely forgotten.
"Night, Hisao."
And with that, Hitomi turns and walks to the female dorms without a backward glance. I had gotten accustomed to the leisurely pace we had been using all evening, and her sudden departure reminds me yet again just how much I slow her down.
This girl is gonna kill me, isn't she?
Finally shutting my mouth, I make my way towards my own dorm slowly, the kiss replaying itself over and over in my mind.
I guess there could be worse ways to go.
-----
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