Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Completed)

[Alex FRD]

Amazing, as always. The emotions were real and believable, an excellent read.

[calcifer]

Another great chapter Euro! On one hand marriage right after high school is such an anime trope, on the other I can see how it fits in this story and I'm sure you'll handle it excellently

I bring a hand up to my mouth, my mind whirling. “That would be true, wouldn’t it? But, even if it is true, we wouldn’t be able to until we were twenty, and...and holy shit, am I actually talking about this?”

I was kind of curious about this one (why twenty?) so I looked it up. Apparently, in Japan the girl must be 16, the boy 18 and they both need parental consent until they are at least 20. How novel...

[Eurobeatjester]

I was kind of curious about this one (why twenty?) so I looked it up. Apparently, in Japan the girl must be 16, the boy 18 and they both need parental consent until they are at least 20. How novel...

Yep, same thing with the medical aspect. Age of adulthood in Japan is 20, not 18 like many other countries.

However, parental consent only requires one parent from each side to approve it and not both parents on each side. That's why it would be a long engagement if it were to happen.

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

The next chapter is going to be very long, probably the longest one yet. It's meant to be the climax of the story, so it might take me a while to write (as if my normal schedule wasn't sporadic enough)

4 chapters left

[calcifer]

However, parental consent only requires one parent from each side to approve it and not both parents on each side. That's why it would be a long engagement if it were to happen.

The whole consent thing doesn't make sense from a western perspective, but as long as they have it I can understand keeping it at one parent each. Imagine the drama otherwise

The next chapter is going to be very long, probably the longest one yet. It's meant to be the climax of the story, so it might take me a while to write (as if my normal schedule wasn't sporadic enough)

4 chapters left

Really looking forward to it!

[Razoredge]

That was another great chapter, Euro, as always. I'm stunned by your ability to maintain a great writing in every chapter, that's awesome.

I'm agree with Calcifer, it was a trope, but it fits great with the story.

Once again, that was a very pleasant reading, as always.

[Eurobeatjester]

Took care of some tidying up some things that I should have fixed earlier.

All of the broken artwork should be fixed, the Table of Contents has been cleaned up, and all the broken/missing chapter links should work. If anything isn't, please let me know!

[Blackmambauk]

Another fine chapter mate, a lot went on here even though the main thrust of it was something we didn't see due to it taking place outside of Hiaso's pov for very understandable watson and doyle reasons.

Even though i would love to have seen that conversation since i am so fond of both and because they are truly the best part of Learning to Fly, it works just as well knowing what words were said, how the two would have spoken their feelings, regrets etc since you have done such a bang up job of characterizing, writing and portraying both girls over this wonderful fic, on the subject of Kayako and how important she was to both girls and why they reacted to it the way they did etc. that you have earned the reaction we get of the two saying we are good. With the realistic implication that while the chat has cleared the air and the two clearly want to still be friends. There is still work to be done before the healing is completed and both know one chat won't fix what was broken.

The stuff between Hisao and Noriko was very well done and i really liked how the two converse on how they feel about everything that has happened between Saki and Chisato, on the upcoming graduation and on the topic of Saki and her parents.

Now onto the big point that was talked about between the two of them. I am ignorant when it comes to law of consent in japan other than you can't drink until you are 20 and knowing how conservative japan is in general, i generally thought that likely extends to stuff like smoking, marriage age etc outside of driving which i remember to be 17 like in the uk. But this is interesting that if Hisao was married to Saki he would be able to make medical decisions for her and not her father. which Hisao being a teenager and likely to see this as his golden opportunity would grasp at it.

At the same time, this doesn't surprise me that japan has this sort of legality to it, since its still very much a patriarchy society along with if and when Saki's condition deteriorates to the point that she may need someone to make medical decisions for her. Then Hisao would be the one she would want to make that decision. But i wonder on if Saki would be comfortable in making that decision, if she maybe would have feelings inside of this might take her agency away from her. Her decision etc. i'm interested to see where this goes and how you handle it mate as it's certainly one that i think will really help the climax of the story.

Rest of the chapter was a nice final evening out between the famous five of Yamaku and of Hisao and Saki getting some nice prizes from the arcade, oh days spent at the arcade are something i always treasure, you simply don't see them as much or int he same way anymore as they were like back in the 90s.

I really cannot believe we are at the cusp of the story and the next one will conclude what we have all been following for nearly seven years now. It's been such a epic journey and to nearly reach the final destination now is both heartwaming and a little sad in that we are nearly at the end of this wonderful story that has seen such brilliant portrayal of everyone in it and the subject and themes that have been explored in it.

Can't wait for it mate and i know the wait will be well worth it as always.

Blackmambauk

[calcifer]

At the same time, this doesn't surprise me that japan has this sort of legality to it, since its still very much a patriarchy society along with if and when Saki's condition deteriorates to the point that she may need someone to make medical decisions for her. Then Hisao would be the one she would want to make that decision. But i wonder on if Saki would be comfortable in making that decision, if she maybe would have feelings inside of this might take her agency away from her. Her decision etc. i'm interested to see where this goes and how you handle it mate as it's certainly one that i think will really help the climax of the story.

That's a great point about agency, I hope euro will explore that at least a little bit.

if and when Saki's condition deteriorates to the point that she may need someone to make medical decisions for her

Realistically, there is no if, only when. All types of spinocerebellar ataxia are degenerative, there is no real treatment and it almost always results in an early death

EDIT: Looking back, euro did bring up Saki's agency a few years back:

No matter how bad things get, no matter how many things you lose control over, suicide is the one thing you still have control over.

It's not the idea of killing yourself that you take comfort in, it's the sense of agency the ability to make a choice gives.

[Hanako Fancopter]

Feels kind of like an in-between chapter. I am glad to see the Saki-Chisato drama fading away to focus back on Hisao and Saki scheming to stay together. That's the real conflict I'm still here to see resolved. Also I did notice your little shout out lol.

[EternityDragon]

Been around for some time now, and even though the waits between chapters are frustrating at times (the lockdown has left me with many an afternoon on which I’ve had nothing to do) I can say with confidence that every wait has been more than worth it. Here’s to keeping up the absolutely amazing writing!
Also, this may be somewhat irrelevant, but interestingly enough there have been some ads floating around on Quora advertising clinical trials seeking to find ways to mitigate the effects of SCA. Perhaps as we march into a future that those a mere handful of decades ago could barely dream of, people having to cope with this disease might just be able to see a glimmer at the end of the tunnel...

[SuzuSuzuki_bestgirl]

My god this pseudo-route is incredible, super excited for the next update. It's so cool to see people are still writing fanfic for a game that was released in 2012. Really shows how much this game strikes and stays with people.

[Greatmoro]

Wow! Just wow! I discovered this pseudo route almost by accident after rereading the Akira pseudo route and I have read this in to days and I am completely in awe of this work, the characters are some of the best written ones I have ever seen and it's incredible how relatble they are to me, not because I've been through what they are going through at the moment but because Saki's way of handling things is exactly how I would and I can relate so much to her struggle.

Now I'm waiting anxiously fo the next update because I'm so curious as to what the climax will end up taking Hisao, Saki and the rest of their friends.

Keep up the good work!!

Sincerely,

a new fan!

[ArazelEternal]

This pseudo route has kept me enthralled since the start. I’ve been reading it on and off for the better part of a year now and can’t wait to see where it goes. Keep up the great work. I honestly don’t want to see it end, but at they say, all good things come to an end.

I had actually started a fan fic myself, extending Hanako’s good route past the ending in the VN. Got about 7 chapters in, then life took over and I haven’t been able to get back to it for a few years now. May just start over on it as I didn’t really care for the way it was going then, anyway.

Who knows.

[Capn-Cold]

Oh man, having just binge read this; I have NEVER been more disappointed to see something wasn’t finished yet.

Genuinely brilliant writing, man; Saki is so Endearing that it’s impossible not to like her, and it does a hell of a job to get you invested. I really like how you’ve portrayed her too; It’d be easy to make her the more expected jaded and locked off sort, so it makes her representation here hit even better.

[Eurobeatjester]

Thanks for the patience everyone!

The last few months have bee, well, hard. The COVID situation and lockdown wiped out my streams of income save for one very sporadic one, and I ended up moving to a new place before it happened. I've been dealing with the absolute worst depression of my life the past few months. I'm an extreme extrovert in real life and not being able to go to the events and conventions I usually do, to not being able to go to the makerspaces I spend a few days a week at, to finally not being able to see family and friends because of the situation has, well...it's shattered me. Even when I was homeless the few years before I started writing this story, I was never as depressed as I've been the last few months, and what's worse, I was losing my ability to even care and want to improve my situation.

It finally got to the point where I reached out for help in a hail mary, and I've been on antidepressants and manic-depressive medications for a few months now. The first month and a half were even worse as my body was adjusting to them. I hadn't written anything in months leading up to them except for a paragraph here or there but when the first batch of medication started working, it absolutely killed my creative drive. It stopped the depression from getting worse, but it stayed constant and the loss of creative energy was something I couldn't deal with. My medications were adjusted once they had a baseline to work with, and I'm starting to feel creative again. I still need a lot of work and time and I know I won't be back to normal until the rest of the world is, but I'm hanging in there with the help of my friends. You all know who you are!

Please, if you're struggling, seek help. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I feel like I've been slowly getting my life back because I did.

Okay, time to get off the soapbox and talk about the chapter itself!

This chapter was originally supposed to be shorter, but as I wrote it, it expanded. It was supposed to be the first half of a two-parter but at 10k words, I think it's large enough to warrant its own The next chapter shouldn't take as long and I'm hoping to have it done by Thanksgiving!

The title of this chapter comes from the song "If You Could Only See" by Tonic.

Feedback and comments greatly appreciated as always. I hope you enjoy!

Act 4: Liftoff

Scene 10: If You Could Only See

“You were right. The coffee is good here,” my father says.

“I told you. I’m going to miss it,” I answer.

“Maybe I should see if I can buy a bag or two of it.”

The three of us are seated at a table at Nagina, a few minutes after eleven. My folks had left early this morning to make the drive up to Sendai, and after picking me up from Yamaku had headed down for the city so all three of us could eat breakfast together. I suggested the cafe, and it sure didn’t disappoint.

“What time should we be there for the recital?” my mother asks, checking her watch.

“It starts at five. You’re still sure you want to go, right? You said you wanted to see the city…”

“Of course! We can see everything we need to in the next few hours. We didn’t get a chance the last time we came up.”

Ah, the last time...which would have been the first time. Hardly surprising, considering the entire day was taken up with paperwork, introductions, and me in a foul mood. They’ve never come up to Sendai or Yamaku since then, and why would they? It was always easier for me to go back down to visit the few times I’ve been able to.

Truth be told, it’s kind of helped with the various emotions in my mind as of late, even before the conversation yesterday with Noriko. There’s always been a slight unease I have whenever I go back, but I’m surprised that I feel the same way this morning. I think that living away from my parents has helped me a lot in ways I didn’t think it would. I’m not just doing better than I was before I came to the school, but I’ve also had more independence than I ever would have had if I stayed home - with or without my arrhythmia. It’s been easy to compartmentalize that feeling, and the separation and distance is a huge part of it.

In some ways, my heart attack was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I still find it ironic to think about it that way, but with everything I’ve experienced since that day, it’s a strange kind of truth.

My father continues, taking another sip. “I think we were just going to walk around and check out the downtown area. Besides, we both want to see your friends play, after you’ve told us so much about them.”

“I’ll make sure to save you a few seats near the front.”

“They won’t mind?”

I laugh. “The music teacher already offered. It’s not a problem.”

“Maybe you can introduce us afterwards. The only staff we ever met was the dean, the Nurse, and your homeroom teacher. We’d like to meet Chisato too.”

“Where was the hotel where you were staying?”

“Closer. It’s in the town. We’ll check in on the way to the school tonight.”

“Do you think we might be able to do this again, say, tomorrow afternoon after graduation? Bring your girlfriend along perhaps?” my mother asks.

“I’m, uh, not sure what she’s doing tomorrow after the graduation ceremony,” I answer. “She’s getting lunch with her family right now, so I don’t know if they have plans tomorrow night.”

“It’s just an idea. If she stays another day or two, you don’t have to come back with us tomorrow night.”

I frown. I hadn’t even thought of that, but the second I do I realize it’s probably not going to be happening. Saki’s already packed up almost everything, including her sheets and covers since she’s been staying with me since I got back. They might leave right after graduation, but...

“Maybe tomorrow night, with how long it takes to get to Osaka. They might be spending one more night here, so…”

I sigh, trying not to let it affect me as much as it does, but I fail almost instantly.

“We enjoyed having her over, son.” my mother says, putting a hand on my shoulder. “She’s welcome to come visit any time.”

“I know that. I just wish there was something-”

I cut myself off and shake my head, deep in thought.

“Is everything okay?” she asks, the corners of her mouth pulling down into a concerned frown.

“Sorry. I’m just...thinking of something that might be crazy.”

As soon as those words leave my mouth, I groan internally.

My father raises an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

I sigh again. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”

“If it’s bugging you so much that you’re like this, then it’s important.”

I nod and bite my lip for a moment. “Dad, you were twenty-two when you married mom, right?”

My parents both look at each other, and it only takes a half second before they understand the meaning of the question. My mother’s brow raises with slight astonishment, while my father leans back in his chair with steepled fingers. He remains deep in thought for a moment, making me nervous.

Eventually though, he gives a small, wry smirk. “Yes. I was.”

“That’s a really big step, don’t you think?” my mother asks, her voice very tentative.

“I told you it sounded crazy, but...there’s more to it than that.”

I try to explain to them as best as I can how Saki’s condition would worsen as she got older. How her brother and father had been at odds because of what was going on. I even tell them about Saki’s day trip to the palliative facility, though I know telling them would probably upset her for more than one reason.

My parents absorb everything I’m throwing at them with looks of attentive concern, but I don’t see surprise on either of their faces until I mention the last part. My mother touches two fingers to her temple, staring at the ground as she remembers something.

“So that’s what was on her mind that morning.”

“I’m sorry?” I ask, confused.

“When I picked her up from the train station that morning, she was very on edge. I thought she was just nervous from meeting me. She relaxed a little when we sat down to eat, and we talked quite a bit.”

“Her ataxia-”

“-yes, she told me. But she didn’t tell me about that.”

I think back to that day, when my mom first told me that they talked. She said Saki didn’t say everything, but she said enough; I never needed or wanted to push that. I give a sigh of self-depreciation.

“She’s scared.”

“How would that work, if you’re coming home or planning to move to Tokyo, and she’s in Osaka?”

I don’t think she’s saying it to be discouraging, but it’s one of a few very large problems that are immediately apparent.

“I don’t know, Mom,” I admit. “I just don’t know.”

My father takes a deep breath. “Well, you’d have a year to figure it out.”

I chuckle before I can stop myself. That’s exactly what Noriko said. “I guess that’s true.”

My mother reaches across the table and places a hand on my arm. “Come back home. If you need to stay for a few months to be able to move to Tokyo and choose a cram school there, then you can. Or maybe there’s some place local. Either way, you’re always welcome. You have enough going on without having to worry about where you live.”

And there it is. My lips pull back into a quick grimace. I resigned myself to this months ago when talking to Saki, but it still leaves a bit of a sour taste. My mother picks up on this.

“What’s wrong?”

(continued...)