It's fun in the background...

[ZystraL]

(three posts in a row. sigh.)

I prefer this ending. But that's just me.

---

-> [x] Aihako

Yuki: "I'm really sorry, I can't."
I dash past him into the room Aihako is in. As I'm in there, Aoi's sitting next to the girl in question, holding her hand. Takana is leaning on the wall behind her, arms crossed, while Aihako herself is lying on the bed, asleep with one of those IV things in her arm. She looks really pale.

I close the door and throw my bag down with the others' as I walk up to Aihako. She wakes up and sees me. I smile at her, but unable to hold the tears back. She smiles at me before signalling for Aoi to help her up to sitting stance. As I hold her hand, the Head Nurse walks in.
Nurse: "Well, Tainaka, never mind it, I got someone else to do it. Also, do you know exactly what's wrong with her?"
Yuki: "Er...no."
Nurse: "Well, as you know, something happened and her blood suger levels spiked. Then, as we treated her with a level amount of insulin to control this, her body reacted very differently and rejected that insulin altogether."
Yuki: "So is she going to die?"
Nurse: "At this point, we're still unsure. That IV she's taking is a special type of solution which manually destroys the sugar in her cells, but also destroys a small amount of her natural blood as well, which is why she is as pale as she looks. You are free to stay with her, but if that,"
He points to a screen with a steady red line that gradually moves across on it.
Nurse: "Ever goes below this point,"
He then points to a part on the screen where a green line is marked across, it's well underneath the red line.
Nurse: "Or beyond this point,"
He points to another green line, this one is above the red line but they are closer than the other green line.
Nurse: "You must call me immediately."
The 3 of us nod as he leaves, smiling again.

Aoi gets up after we chat a little to go get us something to eat. Aihako has gone back to sleep. Looks like low blood amount is taking a toll on her.
Yuki: "Taka-ue..."
Takana: "Hm?"
She turns to me.
Yuki: "You know, I was thinking earlier today...What do you think love is?"
She looks up, leaning back on the chair she's sitting in.
Takana: "I think...it's something that grows slowly, and is the bond between two people, that make them both happy inside. Why, what do you think?"
Yuki: "Hmm...I think love is when someone's smile means everything to you. It's when you'll do anything for that person and to be with that person. It's when you can lean on that person for support, and they can lean on you."
Takana: "Heheh...just like a poet."
Yuki: "Yeah well. I'm happy."
Takana: "Why?"
Yuki: "Because. You said "two people", not "a man and a woman""
Takana: "How do you mean?"
I get up and hug her from behind. Takana has been my friend since I came here. She was always there for me, and any problem I had, she'd help me with. Whenever I cried it would be on her shoulder. Whenever I laughed she'd be there with me. I always thought our relationship was that of a sister, but ever since I met Hisao, a lot of that has changed.
Yuki: "I don't know if I do love you like this, but I really need you right now."
She shrugged me off as she got up and turned around. What happened next was unexpected but a blur. She grabbed my by the face and pulled me in for a kiss. Is this what I really wanted? I don't know anymore, but it does make me feel better. I place my hands on her shoulders and return the kiss. We take a while, just having our lips locked together. I slowly force my tongue in. This should be wrong. Two girls, friends since childhood. It's wrong, but it's better than that experience with Rin. She returns with her tongue, and we spend a while licking each others lips and sucking on each others tongues. We stand like that for a while longer when eventually I break it off and just look at her. She's smiling slightly with her tongue out, a thin line of saliva barely visible between our mouths.
Takana: "If I don't need to say those three words then you don't either."

We smile at each other and hug, foreheads touching, until we're suddenly interrupted by a sudden beeping. Aihako's screen thingy has shot up a lot.
Yuki: "Oh shit."
Takana sprints out of the room to knock on the nurse's door. He's here in a second.
Nurse: "This is not good..."
He's looking worried for the first I've known him.
Nurse: "I'm going to have to ask you two to leave for a second."
He ushers us out without a word more and closes the door. Aoi is just coming back as she asks us what's wrong.

Hours pass as we sit out in the corridor, and it's already dark. Our heads our down, as more and more staff are called in with strange things. I put my hands to my head and start silently praying for her.
"Dear God. Please don't take her from us. She's too close a friend and I cannot stand to lose her."
I look at Takana and she returns a look of worry. I finally get together with my friend and this happens. Please, Aihako. Make it out alive. At least know about us first. I feel tired.

[clockheart]

I wake up not on my bed but on the floor. Takana, Aoi and I are sitting against the wall opposite the room Aihako is staying in whilst under medical surveillance. We must have fallen asleep. I try to get up so I can grab some of the bread Aoi brought back last night but there's something on my shoulder. Takana's head. I don't want to wake her, so I just sit back.

Aoi eventually gets up and passes me one herself. I stroke the sleeping Takana as she sleeps and smile.
Aoi: "Did something happen between the two of you?"
Yuki: "Childhood friendship blossomed."
Aoi: "Oh, you two are now a couple?"
Her face lights up. One can only guess how often she dreams of this scenario.
Aoi: "That's brilliant! I'm really glad for you guys."
I just smile in return.

The nurse opens the door a while after Takana wakes up.
Nurse: "You know, you're lucky to have friends like these who'd camp out in a hallway overnight for you."
As he says that, Aihako walks out of the room, looking absolutely normal, wearing her pajamas.
Nurse: "I won't get into it, but a miracle happened and the insulin we gave her suddenly responded. She's absolutely fine now."
Aihako: "Thanks guys."
Before we know it, tears and hugs are flying left, right and centre.

***

Back in Sunday morning practice in the music room, Takana suddenly bursts up.
Takana: "Guys, Yuki and I have an announcement."
Aihako: "Oh?"
Takana: "Yup. Yuki and I are an item now."
Aihako: "Wait...item as in...lovers?!"
Yuki: "Yup!"
I give her a wink. Aihako turns to Aoi with a sad look on her face and hands over a large amount of money. Takana and I just laugh.

We finish like normal, and I go for a walk in the park. I see Hisao sitting on a bench by himself.
Yuki: "Hey, Hisao."
Hisao: "Hello, Yuki."
Yuki: "So how're ya feeling?"
Hisao: "Much better."
Yuki: "You know, I was asked to bring them to you, but I couldn't, because my friend was going through the line of life and death."
Hisao: "I understand, it's okay. The doctors say I would have been fine anyway."
Yuki: "I still feel quite bad for not being there for you."
Hisao: "It's okay, I said. The fact that you're worrying now is enough. I don't have many friends here, so the fact that you even worry is good."
I just smile at him.
Hisao: "That reminds me. Shizune wanted me to remind you and the rest of your band to turn in your Public Area Usage Form in at least 2 weeks before your planned date."
Yuki: "Yeah yeah, I'll get Ta-chan to do it."
Hisao: "Ta-chan...?"
Yuki: "Takana, my friend, keyboardist?"
Hisao: "Oh. Why the sudden change of nickname?"
Yuki: "Hm...I'll leave you to guess."
I notice she's standing at the end of the path waiting to go to lunch with me. I turn and wave Hisao goodbye before skipping off and kissing her on the cheek as we walk off hand in hand. And in the background I can hear someone dying of blood loss.

---

Haaaa....what an ending. I wanted to draw this out as much as possible, and I think I may have accidentally ruined it in the process.

I actually had this planned out for a long time, but the gaps in between were hard. I guess that's why most of the previous stuff was utter shit.

[Deimos]

If K-On! ever manages to have the morbid situation, that two young girls are making out, while their friend is in mortal danger AND in the same room, I'll definitively start watching it.

[Out of the Loop]

I wanted to draw this out as much as possible, and I think I may have accidentally ruined it in the process.

I wouldn't worry about that; just see it as a stepping stone. Thankfully this is a fan fiction, thus no one will hold this against you like an original, stand alone novel would have. Personally you didn't ruin this for me, I immensely enjoyed this read. If you paced yourself well and enjoy what you see after the graphite has cleared, then don't regret.

I'm never good with reviewing someone's work because whenever I do read their work, I enjoy it and that's the only thing that matters to me - if I enjoyed it or not (if not: I stop reading and move on.) I agree with bitpeg when they said that Yuki was a tad too eager to jump Rin, it seems a little off in the personalities of characters, but sometimes people are rushed in unexpected circumstances under the influence of something (be it passion or what-have-you.) Work on your style!! While reading, I've noticed you have your own style that makes it easier to read and see. You have a hidden knack, no matter how significant it might be, inside you, and you must cherish it. Keep on writing, find yourself.

Can't wait to see the bad ending.

[ZystraL]

Can't wait to see the bad ending.

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... =15#p24390
cough cough.

hm, thanks for that I guess. I think the best thing to do is just see what I did badly and try to improve on that.
I've been told I have a knack for writing, but I usually don't do it with pencil and paper because my right hand can't take what my brain throws at it.

I'm glad some people enjoyed this though. Makes me think it really was worthwhile.

[Deimos]

Damn, I am probably likewise guilty of missing the bad end.

Anyway, I prefer the bad ending. Such Endings are hard to write and death always looks like an easy way out but do not let it bother you. Killing your own characters is sometimes quite hard to do.
And in the end it all comes down to catharsis which, as far as I can see, you delivered there.

If you write further fanfiction and decide to post it here I would be glad to see it. Recognise your strong points and try to enhance your bad ones!


... and thank you for completing a story rather than leaving it vague or half-finished!

[Out of the Loop]

Can't wait to see the bad ending.

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... =15#p24390
cough cough.

hm, thanks for that I guess. I think the best thing to do is just see what I did badly and try to improve on that.
I've been told I have a knack for writing, but I usually don't do it with pencil and paper because my right hand can't take what my brain throws at it.

I'm glad some people enjoyed this though. Makes me think it really was worthwhile.

Oh, what a pesky link showing off my error! Thank you for showing me that, often time something gets under my radar.

I agree with Deimos, if you write more and post it here I'll certainly read it.