I tried to follow the style that KS is written in, to make it fit in well. I found it a little hard as I'm not used to the stream of consciousness style of writing.
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THE PAST CATCHES UP
A knocking on my door wakes me out of my sleep. I had been looking forward to sleeping in today.
I try to ignore it, but there is another knock; a little more urgent this time. It is probably Kenji wanting to borrow money again. I sigh and go to the door.
Hisao: “What is it this ti-”
It isn't Kenji. It is one of the other guys from the dorm. He steps back, a little shocked at the way I answer the door.
Hisao: “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
He eases a little.
Student: “You have a visitor, Hisao. A girl.”
I blink a few times, thinking of who it could be...
Hisao: “Sure... I'll change out of my pyjamas and be right down.”
Thoughts of who it could be flickered through my head.
Most people I know would have come to my room themselves, except Hanako or Lilly. Lilly was well known, and the guy at the door would have said. Could something be wrong?
I throw my clothes on and almost walk out the door before remembering my medication. Although it had become routine, I almost forgot it in my rush. If I forgot this I could die. I silently swear at myself for being so stupid.
I take my meds and then hurry downstairs.
I stop suddenly when I see who was actually waiting for me. It isn't Hanako. It is Iwanako. Why is she here? How did she get here?
I can feel my chest tighten a little, but I'm sure it is just the surprise of seeing her.
I watch her for a moment, until the tightness subsides.
Iwanako's gaze darts about, her eyes trying not to fix on anyone or anything for too long. Her hands fidget with the edge of her blouse. It is clear that she is uncomfortable here.
Hisao: “Iwanako?”
Iwanako: “Hisao!”
She runs forward to me, lifting her arms slightly as she moves, as if to give me a hug. But at the last moment she stops herself a couple of feet front of me and lowers her arms. I feel disappointed: it would be nice to hug her. Instead, she smiles up at me.
Iwanako: “It's good to see you!”
My heart starts to pound...
I take a couple of slow breaths to control it. Iwanako must have noticed it: she seems suddenly concerned.
Iwanako: “Are you OK?”
Hisao: “I'm fine. It is just a surprise to see you here. My heart started to race a little.”
Iwanako suddenly blushes and giggles a little to herself. It was clear she thinks something else when I was trying to be matter-of-fact, but I don't try to correct her. It is nice to see her again.
Hisao: “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”
Iwanako: “I saw you on TV and I decided to come and visit you. I took the train, and walked the rest of the way. Your parents gave me the address.”
Hisao: “What was that about TV? I... I'm sure I would remember that.”
Iwanako: “They did a special about this place on the news, and I saw you walking across in the background. I recognised you.... I was really surprised. When they said you transferred, they didn't tell us where. I didn't think it would be a place like this.”
I have a vague recollection about a TV crew around the school shortly after I started. They were only wandering about for a day, and left as quietly as they arrived. I don't remember them filming me for anything.
Iwanako: “You're not disabled. Why would they send you here?”
Hisao: “I was going nuts in the hospital, but they wanted to keep me under supervision while they got all my medications right. When they did say I was well enough to leave, they sent me here because it has a full time nursing staff. They wanted to keep an eye on me in case the pills didn't work properly.”
Hisao: “I wasn't too happy when they told me I couldn't just go back to school at home. Anyway, things are different here. I'm not that bad now. Besides, there are other people with more... issues than me.”
Iwanako: “Yes. Like on the TV... there was this one girl with no legs... except she was a runner on the tack team. It seemed so... strange.”
Hisao: “That would be Emi.'
Iwanako: “You know her?”
Hisao: “Of course. I guess you could say she's my coach.”
Iwanako: “Coach? How can she coach you when she has no legs? Anyway, I thought you couldn't-”
I ignore her first comment.
Hisao: “The head nurse told me I need to do some exercise to help my recovery. It's nothing major, and I'm certainly not racing at all, but it does help. Emi just helps keeping me... uh... motivated.”
Iwanako: “Oh”
Hisao: “Emi is one of the few people here that know about my heart. Everyone has a reason for being here and most people simply don't ask. As far as Yamaku goes, I'm actually pretty normal.”
I try to let out a laugh, but it somehow seems bitter. Iwanako pretends not to notice. I change the subject instead, leading her outside.
Hisao: “Would you like me to show you around the place?”
Iwanako: “Umm... Is there any place to eat around here? I left pretty early this morning to get here, and I didn't eat much before I left.”
Hisao: “Oh... of course. You must have left very early. There is a cafeteria here, if you would like to get some food. I haven't had breakfast yet.”
As we step outside a couple of students in wheelchairs roll past us. I notice Iwanako staring at them, and then she looks away abruptly and begins fidgeting with the edge of her blouse again. She doesn't answer me.
Hisao: “Or we could walk back down to the town. There's a nice café there. The food is pretty good... much better than the school cafeteria.”
Iwanako: “.... That sounds nice.”
As we walk together Iwanako moves closer to me and seems to relax a little. I'm not sure if she is just intimidated by Yamaku Academy, or if she is trying to rekindle her feelings before the events of that day...
Walking through the front gates, we come across Lily. Iwanako seems to tense as she notices Lily's long white cane.
Hisao: “Hello Lilly”
Lilly: “Hisao. How are you today?”
Iwanako: “Do you know her?”
Lilly: “Oh... and you have someone with you. I don't seem to recognise your voice.... I'm Lilly Satou.”
Lilly bows in greeting and extends her hand.
Iwanako looks slightly shocked and does nothing. I want to tell her that there is nothing bad about Lilly; that she is just blind and she is a normal person otherwise. I'm about to say something when Iwanako finally takes her hand and shakes it briefly.
Iwanako: “I'm Iwanako. I'm Hisao's... umm... I am one of Hisao's friends from his old school.”
Lilly: “It is a pleasure to meet you.”
Hisao: “We're walking into town, if you would like to walk with us.
Lilly: “That would be nice. Would you mind Iwanako? I'd like to hear more about Hisao's old school”
Iwanako: “... sure...”
As we are about to walk off, Lilly moves next to me and takes my elbow. Iwanako pauses briefly and stares at us. Lilly seems to notice the hesitation.
Lilly: “Would you mind guiding me again, Hisao?”
Hisao: “No... of course not.”
Iwanako quickly realizes what Lilly is doing. She doesn't say anything, but moves up and takes my other elbow. I suddenly feel embarrassed, with girls on both of my arms. At the same time I'm also aware of the tension and apprehension from Iwanako.
As we walk, Lilly tries to ask questions about school and home life. Iwanako looks up to me, as if wanting me to answer for her. When I say nothing, her answers are short and unfriendly.
After a bit I try my best to elaborate on some of Iwanako's answers and to add a few jokes to the conversation, but everything I say falls flat....
The whole way Iwanako keeps staring at Lilly's cane and then to Lilly's eyes. When Iwanako finally notices me watching her, she stares at the ground instead, embarrassed and not saying anything more.
The walk seems to take twice as long as normal, and as we enter into town, we stop at an intersection.
Hisao: “We were going to go for coffee and food. Would you like to join us Lilly?”
I can feel Iwanako's grip on my arm suddenly tense, but she says nothing.
Lilly: “Thank you for the invitation, but I have to get some things for Hanako. I'm sure the two of you have plenty to... catch up on.”
For some reason, Lilly's smile seems sadder than usual before she wanders off to the store. Iwanako suddenly lets go of my arm, but keeps staring at the ground.
Iwanako: “Is she in your class?”
Hisao: “No... but her best friend is.”
Iwanako: “Is she blind too?”
Hisao: “Hanako? No.... She's just shy.”
Why she didn't just ask Lilly directly when she had the chance? Was she afraid of Lilly? I don't mention Hanako's scars: that would just prompt questions that I can't (or won't) answer.
Iwanako: “Shy? So just being shy can get you put in that place?”
Hisao: “There are other things, but we don't make a point of asking people what their disabilities are. It is the same reason only a handful of people there know about my heart.”
Iwanako: “Oh, ok.”
The coffee shop is fairly quiet, although I spy Shizune and Misha at their usual table when we walk in. I decided to avoid them and move quickly to one of the booths away from the door. They don't seem to notice us, but Iwanako notices them.
She stares at them, transfixed for a few moments, while Shizune and Misha are engrossed in their silent conversation. Then Iwanako remembers where she is and hurries over to join me. She looks back at them, and then to me, as if about to ask a question...
A figure moves out quickly from behind the counter and bows sharply in front of us.
Yuuko: “Welcome to the Shanghai! May I take your order?”
Hisao: “Hello Yuuko”
Yuuko: “Oh... Hello Hisao. What can I get for you?”
Hisao: “Coffee for me... and sandwiches. The usual.”
Iwanako: “Uh... Genmaicha? And some sandwiches for me too... whatever he is having.”
Yuuko: “Of course. Right away.”
With a bow Yuuko hurries off to prepare our order.
Iwanako: “You know her too? She seems to be a bit old to be a student. What's wrong with her?”
Why is Iwanako being like this? Why does she have to treat the other people around here like something is wrong with them?
Hisao: “She isn't a student. She is actually the school librarian who happens to work here part time, and there is nothing /wrong/ with her.”
I realise too late that I have raised my voice to Iwanako. I try to remind myself of initial attitude I had, but all I see is Iwanako looking down at the table, visibly hurt. My chest tightens slightly and I let out a long sigh as I force my body to relax again.
Iwanako: “Sorry.”
Hisao: “No... It's OK. I guess I had the same questions when I first came here. But people here are really not different. You just need to look past their disabilities.”
She nods, but I can see in her eyes that she doesn't understand. I try changing the subject.
Hisao: “Has much changed since I left? Have Mr. Nakamura's jokes gotten any better?”
She smiles and laughs a little. Maybe she realises that I haven't forgotten about my life before. Back when I was normal....
Iwanako: “No... They're actually getting worse – if you can believe that – and he even thinks he is being 'cool' by telling them.... There's a rumour that him and Ms Nagoya are– ”
Hisao: “No way. Those two together?”
We were interrupted briefly by Yuuko, delivering our drinks and a large plate of sandwiches. She bows and takes her leave without saying anything.
Iwanako: “Ginjiro in class 3-1 says he saw them drinking at a bar. Apparently they left together too.”
Hisao: “Wow.”
We each have a drink and munch on a sandwich. The food is good, as always, which seems to cheer Iwanako up. She sips her tea, and smiles to me.
Iwanako: “Tetsuo and Nobu asked me to say 'Hi'. I think they would have come, but they have been so busy with soccer practice.”
Hisao: “Does Nobu still play as bad as he used to?”
Iwanako: “No. He's actually pretty good now. The last match he scored two goals and a penalty kick.”
Hisao: “What?? Are you sure that is the same Nobu?”
Iwanako giggled a little but then became more serious.
Iwanako: “After your... After you left, Nobu became really determined. He threw himself into every practice, and even did extra practice by himself. I think he wanted to do his best for you, although I'm sure he would never admit that.”
I feel a little stunned. We had been serious about following soccer, but not playing it. It was more about the friendly games and goofing off. We would talk ourselves up while playing, but the three of us realised that we were not that good. It had been fun anyway.
Is Nobu really doing that for me? Or was it my brush with death that prompted him to get serious about his own life? Would I do the same thing if it was Nobu who almost died? I try to put those cynical thoughts out of my mind.
Iwanako: “We were all surprised to hear that you transferred to another school. The last time I saw you... in the hospital, you were waiting for the doctor to let you leave. You seemed to be better, but you started to get angry... and I...”
I realise that I must have said some bad things to Iwanako. I can't remember them clearly, but I was more worried about getting out of that place than the people around me.
Hisao: “I'm sorry Iwanako... I guess I was pretty frustrated back then.”
Iwanako: “Why don't you come back? We all miss you. You're better now, and you said you're building your fitness. You shouldn't be here. This is a place for cripples. You're not crippled. Come home.”
**CHOICE**
1) You're right, Iwanako.
2) No. I /am/ disabled.
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I decided to end this with a choice, as you would see in KS. I have ideas for paths after the choice, but nothing written yet. For now I wanted to write a path where Iwanako revisits Hisao: a path where he has to choose whether or not to admit his reality....
I'm not sure if I should write more from this story path, but if someone else wants to pick up from this choice, feel free. For now I think I'll start writing some of the other story ideas on my wish-list. I'm not really much of a writer, but I hope you liked this story path.
