olda wrote: ↑Sun Jan 28, 2018 10:14 pm
Dewelar
I am late to this post, but I feel I really have to say how immensely I have been enjoying reading this novel.
Many thanks! It's good to know that this story continues to be enjoyed. I don't check these boards as often as I once did, or I would have replied sooner.
Yes, because I only got to play/read KS few months ago, the wonderful world of fanfics has just dawned on me through last two months.
It's also good to know that KS itself continues to attract new readers. I still consider it to be one of my favorite works.
I read Developments in one long take (took me a week - I am not an English native speaker) so for me it was a novel of almost classical proportions. I will humbly state several small thoughts which occured to me during the reading of this work and while contemplating it afterwards.
I always appreciate feedback on my work, positive or otherwise, so again, thanks!
First I have to give praise to your work, because i was cought reading it in my spare time down to morning hours and was several times hunted down by my wife to go to bed, i just couldn't. The novel plot in a vague sence reminded me, or gave me feeling similar to my favourite Classical Chinese novel - Dream of Red Chamber - there is also a love triangle, there is also ambiguity of whom will the main character choose, they also live in a kind of closed compound that is walled in, only venturing outside for the reasons of plot development, there is also only one main male character, with dozen of female characters of different importance (taking Kenji out actually lessened the weight of supporting male characters - we have only two and they are both quite minor - Yoshi and Goro if I am not mistaken). Actually the Fathers appear to be of similar distant figures as in the Dream. Just something I wanted to point out, it may be only my feeling, but I think art is about individual feelings, so for me this analogy holds
Very interesting. I've never heard of the novel you mentioned, but then my knowledge of Chinese literature is minimal. Do you know if an English translation exists? I would be very interested in reading it.
You POV switching technique also reminds me of some classical Chinese novels, or even some recent Japanes one, so to me it makes the novel feel more Asian in style, apart from setting and characters.
I did a fair amount of research into Japanese culture in the process of writing
Developments, so perhaps some of that contributed to that feeling.
Second I have to say what you wrote is a piece of great art. Because you made me think about your work, you made me feel deep, you made me laugh, you made me want to read more and more, you made me cry several times; I could very strongly relate to your characters developments, I wanted things happen the right way, even when it didn't. Due to similarities with my wife and also due to the preferences I have with KS characters I was strongly feeling for Hanako and I was very angry, even shouting at you as a writer for some plot developments and twists in the story (that is a praise).
*bows* I am honored by your praise.
I love Rin chapter and Rins involvment in the story, even when it seemed obvious from her giving the painting to Hisao that it will be Emi whom will he chose - so it made me really uneasy. I wish there was more Rin. I love how you write Emi running poem.
I don't know how much of the discussion within the thread you read, but in it I mentioned that I myself relate to Rin more than any other character in KS. That is actually why I chose not to make her a focus character, since one of my aims in writing this was to push myself beyond my own boundaries of what I was comfortable writing -- to write from the perspective of someone less like myself.
If I may, really humbly (looking at your work as a novel and not a series) give you some tiny dissenting opinion on the whole structure of the novel it would be following remarks.
Of course.
The climax was actually long time before end of the novel and the foreshadowing of the climax was even longer, so actually the chapters after Hisaos' choosing Emi were kind of downhill towards the inevitable end, with neatly tying most of the knots, which felt nice, but considerably less dramatic from the whole preceding 50 or so chapters. Almost felt like change in genre from drama to romantic melodrama or so.
*nods* This was one of the more common criticisms I received during the posting process, and I do understand it. It was always my intention that the story conclude with Hisao's return home, and learning that perhaps his home was not what he thought it was. It's true that most of the story was focused on the love triangle, and its resolution drew the major tension of the story to a close, but the story itself was intended to be broader than that.
However, I really like you last - long chapter with creating or bringing up several conflicts which however remain unresolved. I felt that especially the Hisaos conflict with mother was actually the pepper that if brought up early in the 50s, could actually keep the dramatic arc right to the end.
True. In fact, when I realized how that chapter would need to be, I considered continuing the story to accommodate it. However, at the time I realized that I was nearing a point of burnout on the story, and decided to end it as I originally planned. I have even considered writing a sequel, or at least an epilogue, but my creative energy just hasn't been there in regards to this story, at least not yet.
What I also missed from the whole plot was actually an antihero.
I believe you mean "antagonist". "Antihero" means something different.
Apart from very small supporting cast characters (girl from newspaper club), all characters had good if selfish and also noble intentions - even if misguided. It gives you huge credit that you could create such a drama with mostly well intentioning characters. The only character that you wrote as an antihero was again, Hisaos' mother. I wish there was this subplot developed into an arc which would actually make a good ending to a whole novel.
Understandable. Then again, this is often the essence of the "slice of life" genre, into which I feel this story fits.
The only very small point I wanna make, based on my personal experience (with my wife) is that such a development that Hanako goes through during the summer break, usually takes considerably longer time to accomplish, and with usually much more complicated twists and turns. In this sense, the slow development of Hanako in Sisterhood is probably more realistic. But I take it to your writers licence wanting to make a neat arc with resolution at the begining of new school year.
That's part of it, yes.
Sisterhood is an excellent story, and one of my inspirations for writing
Developments. I will add, though, that one of my thoughts about Hanako, both in KS and here, is that some of her progress occurred off-screen during Lilly's route. She is something of a different character in her own route (of which
Sisterhood was a continuation) than she is in Lilly's. Because she wasn't the focus of that route, we have to interpret what led to her apparent progress there as we see fit, and I, along with several others, believe that she was actually making
better progress in Lilly's route than in her own.
Also, I do not consider her journey to be over in this story, either -- not by a long shot. It just so happens that, at the end of
Developments, she's in a good place mentally.
Sisterhood covers a much longer period of time than this story, and if we were to follow Hanako after the events here, there would likely be similar rises and falls along her path.
By the end, sorry if this post is too long, I really felt I wanted to make you know that your novel still has impact on readers. Also I make your novel and Sisterhood my favourite fanfics which brought me, apart from joy of reading, also some deep emotional memories from my life that I hold dear. For all this I warmly thank you again.
Again, I am honored. To be considered in the same league as
Sisterhood is very gratifying, but not quite so much as to hear that my story has had an effect such as you describe on a person. I am glad to have been able to give you that enjoyment.
Take care!
), Shin, Mai and Ritsu were all extra shadings and hints of color that made the picture perfect. And Nurse got a goddamn name (ok, so I guess I thank brythain for that one, but you included it too)!
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Sometimes, I strike targets I'm not even aiming at. Noriko Yoshimura: Breakout Character is one of those. Yet again, though, I'll take it. I enjoyed writing her a lot, too, after all.