Tactility - A Parallel Universe Fanfiction

[Mirage_GSM]

Really? I don't think so.
If you wrote that fic about Space Hisao who is Meiko's son, then I wouldn't expect you to tell the story all the way back to 2008 where Hisao was frozen in carbonite to keep him alive alongside Meiko who later adopted him... Actually, please forget that train of thought.

Anyway. You can write the story you want. Whether or not it will be good depends on a many other factors.

That's why I'm avoiding using AU terms.

The problem is this here.

In my opinion it is much harder to write a Divergence fic than it is to write an AU fic. In a Divergence fic you need to be careful to keep everything but the divergence point as you did in the original. You are very constrained in the way secondary characters react. In an AU fic you can basically write whatever you want.

By describing the story as a divergence fic you're creating expectations in your readers that the story won't be able to fulfil.
You say you're avoiding the term AU because AU is viewed negatively by most, but what you are writing is in fact an AU-fic, so you are mislabelling your story.

That doesn't mean AU fics are always bad - many of them are, but there are notable exceptions.

If the story WERE a Divergence fic, THEN you probably should go back and tell everything from the point of divergence to explain how things got from that point to the way there are now - because that's what a divergence fic is all about. You don't need to go to that length for an AU fic.

[Rune]

Really? I don't think so.
If you wrote that fic about Space Hisao who is Meiko's son, then I wouldn't expect you to tell the story all the way back to 2008 where Hisao was frozen in carbonite to keep him alive alongside Meiko who later adopted him... Actually, please forget that train of thought.

Anyway. You can write the story you want. Whether or not it will be good depends on a many other factors.

That's why I'm avoiding using AU terms.

The problem is this here.

In my opinion it is much harder to write a Divergence fic than it is to write an AU fic. In a Divergence fic you need to be careful to keep everything but the divergence point as you did in the original. You are very constrained in the way secondary characters react. In an AU fic you can basically write whatever you want.

By describing the story as a divergence fic you're creating expectations in your readers that the story won't be able to fulfil.
You say you're avoiding the term AU because AU is viewed negatively by most, but what you are writing is in fact an AU-fic, so you are mislabelling your story.

That doesn't mean AU fics are always bad - many of them are, but there are notable exceptions.

If the story WERE a Divergence fic, THEN you probably should go back and tell everything from the point of divergence to explain how things got from that point to the way there are now - because that's what a divergence fic is all about. You don't need to go to that length for an AU fic.

Am using the term Parallel Universe rather than Divergence.

You aren't constrained with the way secondary characters work; as long as you keep their initial personalities in character you can do whatever you want, because they have been put under different stresses than they will have in canon and their personalities can and arguably should differ from canon so long as you work from a point before the end of the main story like I am. All of my characters, to the best of my knowledge, started off with the same personality that they did in canon (with the obvious exception of Hisao) and immediately showed their differences as time went on. This is accentuated by the fact that not every single detail of their pasts are known, and that as long as I adhere to what IS known about them, I can add whatever I wish, and that will further influence them away from canon because all these little psychological triggers, so to speak, weren't ever stumbled upon in canon (because they were not shown to exist).

[Silentcook]

Probably a good time to point out what I previously asked here.

[Rune]

Probably a good time to point out what I previously asked here.

Every single character that isn't named "Hisao" (for he is the only one that actually has initially changed) is exactly the way they are in canon until a different world forces them to react differently. That is the premise of the story, is it not? Hisao is the only one that has changed; the world, the setting, and most of the characters are canonical.

What exactly made you think that everyone and everything else had changed with it? Did you even read anything before you posted this?

Now, if you disagree with my characterization, that's a different story, but there was really no reason for you to have posted what you did, because it's absolutely invalid.

[Silentcook]

No, I didn't read anything yet. That's directly related to having to look at a fairly sizable corpus linkdumped on the forums.

Considering that there's been some amount of arguing back and forth, and the regrettable results visible in my link, I deemed it fair to point out previous problems to people - not just the author, but everyone who might wander through this thread.

It's also extremely useful to have a clear statement of intent from the author, if only because casual readers could have no idea about what PoD and/or AU mean, so thank you for that.

[Rune]

No, I didn't read anything yet. That's directly related to having to look at a fairly sizable corpus linkdumped on the forums.

Considering that there's been some amount of arguing back and forth, and the regrettable results visible in my link, I deemed it fair to point out previous problems to people - not just the author, but everyone who might wander through this thread.

It's also extremely useful to have a clear statement of intent from the author, if only because casual readers could have no idea about what PoD and/or AU mean, so thank you for that.

That's fair. I'm going to begin revising my OP now to help clear out miscommunications on my part.

[Rune]

Adjusted my OP to help clear out miscommunication on my part, further advice is welcomed.

"What I'm going to do, rather than revise all my characters, is create a single introduction chapter to Act 2 here. In it I will summarize all of the important Act 1 differences from canon, and then the next chapter posted on here would be Act 2. Considering the time difference between Chapter 1 and Chapter 26 to be well over a year, the writing should be a good deal better, and there is also basically zero canon script reliance at that point, though I use it to direct where the story goes and line up the timelines so that I can maintain continuity. "

[Captain Duck]

I'm not sure I agree the characters are completely out of line but I wouldn't say there's zero merit in that statement.

Either way I've found your new version of Hisao to be interesting and I hope to see this continue one way or another!

[Rune]

I'm not sure I agree the characters are completely out of line but I wouldn't say there's zero merit in that statement.

Can you elaborate further? It's possible that this is two-hour sleep clouding my mind but I'm not really sure what this means.

And thank you; it will, and I'll migrate here once I create that opening chapter. Would do the same on ff.net, but a lot of people liked the first chapters and I keep them there because I also show the fic to friends with zero idea of what Katawa Shoujo is in order to give them an idea of the concept.

[Captain Duck]

I'm not sure I agree the characters are completely out of line but I wouldn't say there's zero merit in that statement.

Can you elaborate further? It's possible that this is two-hour sleep clouding my mind but I'm not really sure what this means.

And thank you; it will, and I'll migrate here once I create that opening chapter. Would do the same on ff.net, but a lot of people liked the first chapters and I keep them there because I also show the fic to friends with zero idea of what Katawa Shoujo is in order to give them an idea of the concept.

I'd say the characters are mostly faithful to the source but I feel like where the deviations exist you can feel them acting a little different than they probably would in the source material, and of course Hisao might as well be an OC in this fic.

[Rune]

I'm not sure I agree the characters are completely out of line but I wouldn't say there's zero merit in that statement.

Can you elaborate further? It's possible that this is two-hour sleep clouding my mind but I'm not really sure what this means.

And thank you; it will, and I'll migrate here once I create that opening chapter. Would do the same on ff.net, but a lot of people liked the first chapters and I keep them there because I also show the fic to friends with zero idea of what Katawa Shoujo is in order to give them an idea of the concept.

I'd say the characters are mostly faithful to the source but I feel like where the deviations exist you can feel them acting a little different than they probably would in the source material, and of course Hisao might as well be an OC in this fic.

"I'd say the characters are mostly faithful to the source but I feel like where the deviations exist you can feel them acting a little different"

Could you give me some examples? I'm thinking of several myself and want to see if you have noted them.

[Captain Duck]

"I'd say the characters are mostly faithful to the source but I feel like where the deviations exist you can feel them acting a little different"

Could you give me some examples? I'm thinking of several myself and want to see if you have noted them.

Shizune's apology (personally I think she's a bit too proud to apologize over that) and really everything going on with Emi and Hisao stick out the most to me. I feel like Hisao makes more progress in terms of getting close to/understanding Emi in a few scenes in your story than he does through most of her route.

[Rune]

"I'd say the characters are mostly faithful to the source but I feel like where the deviations exist you can feel them acting a little different"

Could you give me some examples? I'm thinking of several myself and want to see if you have noted them.

Shizune's apology (personally I think she's a bit too proud to apologize over that) and really everything going on with Emi and Hisao stick out the most to me. I feel like Hisao makes more progress in terms of getting close to/understanding Emi in a few scenes in your story than he does through most of her route.

Spoilers for story.

Okay, let's be honest, Hisao was stupid in Emi's route. And that's fine; that was probably the route easiest to understand, because it was really just teenage problems, angst, and trust issues, and very relatable. And that was okay. But Hisao could have resolved that whole route in a smoother and cleaner way by realizing that Emi needed the time to put her faith in him, and he almost lost it all. This time, though, Emi is a good deal more -- open -- because of the guilt that's still chasing her around because of Hisao's leg, and because Hisao DOES give her the space she required; twice!

What I've resolved so far is hardly the end of Emi's troubles, though. Since my story will extend a significant distance past where canon Emi Route ends, there's definitely going to be more hardship, as well as that which hasn't been resolved yet. By and large, though, Emi's canon route is easy to resolve because there was so little actual trouble, minus Emi's one significant issue, which mind you has only been chipped at.

As for Shizune's apology, well, let's consider. Yes, I acknowledge that she is an incredibly proud person; but at the same time, given what we know of her from her own route and Good Ending, I personally believe that she would fold for something like this. Hisao just spat his condition in her face and pretty much reminded everyone there of what the stakes were. Was she mad off-screen? Hell yeah!

But between the seriousness of what she's done, her own self-inflicted duties as the President of the Student Council, and Misha's influence, as well as her own genuinely compassionate, if prideful, personality? She apologizes here. There's a lot of room in her route for me to toy with her own past and upbringing, and it's going to lead to a Shizune that, while still retaining much of her canon influence, will be a little more open about her kindness, and this will become prevalent soon.

That isn't to say she's going to start skipping down the halls, though.