Can You Accept Your Fate? - Saki Pseudo Route (Ch. 8, 15/02)

[ComeWhatMay]

Yes, but 'unique' doesn't denote smallness nor diminish anything. It could be intended as an understatement, although 'unique' can't be used that way since a thing is either unique or it isn't.

Gotcha. What I was going for was that since "unique" doesn't imply the full extent of what the school's purpose is (in Hisao's mindset, a school for "broken" people), it could be seen as a diminutive, a word used instead of "disabled" to soften the blow.

Not gonna lie, I really didn't like Hisao's attitude during the Mutuo conversation. I really hope he doesn't continue to have that attitude because it will get old to me fast. Put enough of a sour taste in my mouth it made it hard to enjoy the rest of this chapter. I feel like that's not fair to the rest of it, but it's the way my mind works.

Hisao's not happy with it his behavior either, and I think it's similar to when he snapped at Nakata and Eiichi in chapter 1. Honestly, I can see how this could be seen as out of character for Hisao. He's a lot more laid back in the game proper, so this is definitely at an extreme edge of his bitterness. I tried to make it plausible that he would be this annoyed by 1: making Mutou's conversation a perfect storm to tick Hisao off, and 2: by putting Hisao in a particularly tough situation (little sleep, Shizune and Misha blowing him off, along with his already present annoyance at being at this school). This attitude won't persist for long, the next chapter will go a long way to alleviate Hisao's animosity.

However, I will say that I was surprised how little Hisao's own condition was addressed in the game and in many fanfictions I've read. Though many of us (I think?) are older, I think we forget that Hisao is only 18, he's still a teenager, and the angsty teen stereotype exists for a reason. It wasn't until I was around Hisao's age that I feel like I really matured, so I think this sort of bitterness is plausible. With this, I'm trying to add another dimension to Hisao's character, so any future relationships won't seem so white-knighty. Give and take, Instead of when he asks himself, "How much should I give?" Ooh, he only answers "More! More! More!", y'all.

I somewhat agree with Anton. However, it didn't make it hard to enjoy the chapter. If anything, it made Hisao's conversation with Lilly even better.

I can't help but feel bad for Mutou, though. He's just trying to get Hisao to understand that he has limits now, and he has to respect them. Plus the necessary teacher "Do good in school, foo" shpiel.

Honestly, I wouldn't feel bad for Mutou. Not every student at Yamaku is as well adjusted as say, Lilly, Shizune, or Misha. Many transfer in at less than 100%, and unlike Hanako, who became shy and frightened, Hisao in this route became angry. I'm sure Mutou's had his fair share of angsty teens made angstier by their lot in life, I wouldn't worry too much about him

[ComeWhatMay]

Chapter 5 ~ At Once Jaunty and Circumspect

A ray of warm sunlight rests on my face. I come to around nine o'clock, thankfully much less frantic than the day before. I roll over, and try in vain for the next half hour to fall back asleep. It's a wasted effort though, the world is in full swing around me. Even with my pillow over my head, chatter, laughter, and other sounds of the festival drift by already, accompanying the smell of deep fried foods that waft through my open window. Supposedly, the event officially starts at eleven, but judging from the abundant sounds and smells, the festivities are already well under way.

Unable to lay around any longer, I toss off my covers and begin to get ready for the day. After a quick shower and shave, I glance outside to get a feel for the festival dress code. I see a good number of yukata, but slightly more in their school uniforms. Darn, I was kind of hoping for a chance to get back into my casual wear, which have gone untouched at the bottom of my closet since I got here. I guess my uniform will have to do, no sweater vest today it seems.

Only one thing to do before I leave... pills. I swallow them dry and forcefully bury any frustration that tries to rear its ugly head. None of that Hisao. You can feel sorry for yourself some other day, but today, today is a beautiful day. Fake it 'till you make it... right?

~~~~~

Nakata told me we would meet in the classroom on the third floor, the same one I first met them in, around noon the day of the festival. I guess they meet there often, since the room is currently going unused by the school. That's still two hours off, so I have some time to kill.

The sunlight dazzles me as I exit the boys dormitories. There isn't a cloud in the sky, so I'm forced to shade my face with my hand. As my eyes slowly begin to adjust, I see the festival sprawls over the entire grounds. A large collection of stalls is concentrated in the school courtyard, and there's another, albeit smaller, group of stalls in front of the main academic building. That isn't to say the rest of the school is going unused. On the ground unoccupied by stalls, there's a variety of games that seem to be free to play. A long row of boards have been set up for beanbag toss, and people take their turns playing as the sun rises higher into the sky. Even beside me, families sit in the grass next to the dormitories, eating takoyaki and yakisoba, your typical cheap festival food. It smells good though, and reminds me I have yet to eat any sort of breakfast. Naturally, filling my empty stomach is the first thing on my mind.

The closest group of stalls is also the largest, so it's where I assume I'll have my best chance to score a meal. Many stalls I walk past are games of some sort, but there's also a lot of club booths, with information pamphlets out for the taking and members encouraging their fellow students to join. I did make it a point to look for smoke, indicative of a succulent barbeque where I can sate my hunger, but as I round the corner the first smoky stall I come to turns out to be fog from a plastic pot owned by the Occult Studies club, run by a single, and rather odd, second year girl. I feel robbed.

Near the end of the third row, I still haven't found a food stall, but I do see a rather large twin booth at the end. A bin of basketballs sits on the front of the booth, and 3 hoops are set up behind at varying distances and heights, point scores assigned to each. Only two guys are shooting hoops, watched by a bored looking attendant, but the booth attached to the basketball game is where the majority of students are clustered. So many people crowd around the attraction that I can't even see what's behind them, but I do recognize the curly black hair of the girl standing on the right side, managing the booth. This must be the shooting gallery Nana was talking about.

I approach the stand from the side, avoiding the line and crowd and instead making my way towards my acquaintance. I stand behind, just watching for a bit. The stall is nothing short of extraordinary, at least fifty targets of varying shapes and sizes are set up in a large tent. The stand is themed in three sections from closest to furthest, seemingly representing difficulty levels. The closest somehow manages to be impressively unimpressive, if that makes any sense. It seems the book Yuuko picked out for me is having more impact than I thought... Anyways, the front section consists of large plywood squares with simple red targets halfheartedly spray-painted on. I'll bet it's intentional, to encourage students to shoot for harder targets.

The second row is more colorful, but the last section is the most decorated, tin cans, bottles, and other reactive targets resting on tabletops and hanging by string replace the plywood. In dead center, I vaguely recognize a cardboard cutout as Yamaku's principal. It looks like the photo was taken specifically for the event, since he has his arms up in a sort of zombie walk and a silly look on his face. I've never met him, but I've heard that he's well liked by the student body, and has a very good, very informal relationship with them. Or rather... us. I guess that's why he allowed this seemingly offensive choice of target.

Two girls from my class are on the firing line now, slinging rubber balls downrange. Just one slingshot is in use though... the long brown haired girl Miki holds the slingshot in her only good hand, with Suzu on her right, pulling the slingshot back while Miki aims and calls targets. The spectacle is too ridiculous not to laugh out of sheer incredulity, and the crowd, along with both the participants, know it. The mirth is loud enough to drown out the rest of the festival around me, and only grows louder when the pair actually manages to down a few targets. Still, even this lighthearted reminder of Yamaku's purpose is unpleasant, I look for a distraction on instinct.

It's only now that I notice how ingenious the design of the stall is. The entire floor is sloped, and the stall is of course enclosed, to prevent any errant shots from adding single eye blindness to another students patient file. This means that every shot fired falls and rolls to the front of the stall, where a line of buckets catch the ammunition. Class 3-6 put a lot of work into this one.

Nana's inside the booth, her back turned and leaning against it facing in to the shooting gallery. I'm there for a few minutes before Nana recognizes my presence with a start. I've noticed she's a little spacey.

"Hisao!"

"Hey Nana."

"Don't sneak up on me like that! You scared me," she says, giving me a light, playful shove.

I raise my arms in defense. "I've been here for more than a minute!"

"Liar."

"I really have!"

She looks skeptical, but turns back to her ward. "What do you think?" she asks, arms opening wide.

"It's really impressive. When you said shooting gallery, I was expecting three or four targets, not a whole set-up like this. You guys outdid yourselves with this one."

"Thanks, we've been working on it for weeks."

"The floor setup is genius by the way. Makes running the game a lot easier."

She throws her head back to look at me, curls bouncing and a twinkle in her eye. "That was my idea."

We watch Miki and Suzu exhaust their ammunition, and Nana greets the next group, an excited first year boy with thick glasses and his family, after which she returns to her post.

"I'm surprised to see you up this early Hisao. From what I've heard you're not exactly a morning person."

"Where'd you get that idea?"

"Come on, new kid gets kept after class less than a week after he arrives? This is a small school Hisao, word gets around quickly," she says with a sly smirk.

"Yeah, just because Nakata and Eiichi kept me up all hours of the morning! Besides, why did you take such an early shift at the booth? I assume your class all signed up to run it throughout the day?"

She shrugs. "Wanted to make sure I'd be done by noon, so I could join everyone for the rest of the festival."

"Good idea," I say, as we continue watching the shooters on the line. The first-year isn't the most accurate of shots, and his thick glasses make me doubt he can see very well. He's aiming for the close plywood targets, and yet still missing. Luck seems to be on his side, however. One of his last shots goes wide, and ends up striking the furthest bottle and knocking it from its pedestal.

"Nice shot!" says Nana excitedly. I'm not sure if she recognizes the luck involved with the young boy's victory.

"What happened?" the boy asks, looking around confused.

"You hit a winning target, so you can pick any of the prizes in front of you," she says, gesturing to some baskets filled with small trinkets. Erasers, pens, pencils, and stickers, some bearing the Yamaku symbol. Pretty simple prizes, but I guess for most it isn't hard to hit the winning targets.

A rumble in my stomach reminds me why I'm here. "I'll let you get back to work Nana, see you this afternoon!"

She glances back over her shoulder, "see you Hisao!"

~~~~~

I carry my steaming bowl of yakisoba and can of juice as I wander the grounds, looking for a good place to sit. All the picnic tables and benches are taken, so I settle with a seat on the grass against the academic building. The spot is shaded by a zelkova tree, and gives a good view of the entire festival, so it's a nice place to eat my meal. For as cheap as it was, it's actually pretty tasty.

I entertain myself by watching the festival goers go about their day. Smaller children scamper through the legs of older attendees, and intermittent cheers of celebration can be heard from students winning the occasional prize. The slingshot gallery has gotten even more popular in the past half-hour, and the line reaches back at least three stalls. On the sidewalk in front of me, I see an entourage of suited men accompanying a wheelchair bound businessman in his forties or fifties. He carries an aura of power, and the staff following him, along with the expensive looking suit and watch, suggest considerable wealth. I imagine the benefactors of Yamaku like to visit during the school festival. So this is what they call people-watching.

As I eat, I continue to passively observe my surroundings, and as the sights and sounds of the festival surround me, my mind wanders back to my conversation with Lilly the other day. "They do have a reputation of being rather... tactless. Most of the student body doesn't have a problem with that, but some... are more sensitive." I guess that "some" would include me.

I want to be like them. I want to just forget about everything and go back to living my life. I want to be like Lilly or Shizune, the people who have taken to their conditions so well. They've adapted, they've come to terms with who they are. Even right in front of me, the deaf smile, the blind laugh, the ones with a missing hand shoot down targets with the assistance of their sleepy friend, but the boy with the bad heart watches from a distance. I don't know how they do it, but I want it.

The carillon bell draws me from my rumination, and the PA system crackles to life. The principal gives an unintelligible opening address to a festival that was already in full-swing an hour and a half ago. When the static ends, everyone gives a halfhearted applause, pretending to understand the presidents' little speech. I join in, resigning myself to just follow the crowd. When in Rome, so they say.

~~~~~

Eleven forty. I pull my book out of the small bag I brought with me and start reading while I wait. I'm a little early, but I have nothing better to do. I'd rather visit the stalls and play the games with my new friends, instead of exploring the whole festival by myself.

My new friends. As I sit on a desktop swinging my legs, I find myself wondering why this group picked me up so quickly. I guess they were a man down, with this "Ling" apparently never showing up, but that's no reason to pick up the first guy that walks through the door. I think it's just who they are. Nakata strikes me as just a friendly guy in general, obviously not one to let a new student hole himself up in his room with a book, as I was planning. The rest seem pretty laid back, but it was Saki after all who finally convinced me to come along. I wonder what their motives were. Speaking of Nakata...

"What's up!?" the door flies open with a bang, and Nakata barges into the room with the subtlety of a freight train. Eiichi and Rebecca enter right behind him.

Rebecca is wearing her school uniform, like me, but Nakata and Eiichi are dressed more casually. Nakata wears typical shorts and a T-shirt, but Eiichi eschews the T-shirt for a tank top, and wears a ball cap slightly skewed to the side. It's so stereotypical I want to laugh, he looks straight out of one of those American college frat movies, but honestly, he pulls it off well. He's probably one of very few on campus who could, at least. That sort of look requires a build that many at Yamaku simply can't achieve, for one reason or another, myself included.

"Hey guys," I say, happy to see I wasn't left behind. Not that I was worried about that, but still.

"Put that shit away bookworm, we've got better things to do today," he says, obviously referring to the book in my hand. Meh, I wasn't really paying attention to it anyways.

"You ready man!?" he asks excitedly, extending a hand. I take it, and Nakata pulls me into a brief chest-bump, man-hug... thing. I am so not used to this kind of crowd. Back at karaoke, I remember both of the guys saying they grew up in Tokyo, and I'm from the city as well, but I guess I made friends with very different types of people than they did.

"Nana and Saki should be here in just a second," says Eiichi. As if on cue, the door swings open again, and the last of our party enters. Nana is still in her uniform, but Saki is dressed in a light blue yukata, adorned with an intricate pattern of white lace flowers. Her hair is drawn up into a bun, though her bangs hang freely. I've never seen her out of her uniform, and she must have put a lot of effort into today's attire. It's paid off, she's really pretty.

"Everybody ready?" she asks.

Nods all around. "Should be, let's do this!" replies Eiichi.

"Alright! Let's get some grub, I'm starving," says Nakata in his typical boisterous voice.

Everyone files out, Nana and Rebecca chatting on the side, us guys following behind, and Saki leading the way.

~~~~~

We approach a wide stall, easily three times longer than the others nearby. Rows of pots bubble and steam, drink cases are stacked four rows high, but for a stall as large as it is, it seems woefully understaffed. The few students behind the counter can be seen unpacking boxes of ingredients, and a girl stands frantically doing dishes. The student behind the counter seems particularly flustered... and I recognize her. It's Lilly. This must be class 3-2's stall.

I lean in to Nakata, "Y'know, if you're trying to ditch working at your stall, going there for food probably isn't wise..."

"Shhhhhhh!" he replies in a hushed voice. "Don't worry about it man. I'm the one with by far the best eyesight in the class. If I can't see them, they sure as hell can't see me. Just get me some takoyaki," he says handing me some change, "I can't order myself, they'll recognize my voice."

"Nakata!" An older man with graying hair and a beard stands and calls out from behind the stall. "Where have you been, we were expecting you thirty minutes ago!"

I can't help but laugh. "Don't think that applies to the teacher," I say.

"Shit..." he mutters under his breath. "He wasn't supposed to be here until two o'clock..."

"Smooth dude," says Eiichi with a smile on his face.

Shaking her head, Rebecca motions towards the stall. "Well, go on! No getting out of it now."

"Alright, alright!" Nakata says under his breath as he starts making his way to the stall. He calls out behind, "meet you guys on the hill!"

"Have fun!" Rebecca calls back, obviously teasing.

We end up eating there anyways, and Nakata is quickly put to work arranging the front of the stall to be more aesthetically pleasing. I guess if you're trying to set up something to look good, you want someone who can actually see.

~~~~~

With Nakata out of the group, everything became a lot less... loud. That didn't keep it from being fun though. After eating, we wandered the stands for a while, playing the occasional game and observing the flow of the festival. We made our way past the track field, where a huge array of tubes and launchers marked the set up for the fireworks later tonight. The extravagance of the festival impresses me, no cent was spared in making sure this celebration would be an unforgettable one. It's large enough that even people seemingly unaffiliated with the school have stopped by, easily recognized by their wide-eyed stares at the strangeness that surrounds them. I don't know what they were expecting. Come to a festival at a school for the disabled, don't act surprised when you see the disabled. I sigh, and push the topic out of my mind. I don't want to sour my good mood.

Ahead is a familiar sight, the crowd and massive tent marking the shooting gallery of class 3-6. Even if the rest of the festival is slowly winding down, the shooting gallery remains packed. It takes almost half an hour for our turn to come, but we eventually find ourselves on the firing line. There's just enough slingshots for all of us, and the attendant starts counting out ammunition. Twelve shots each, it seems.

Eiichi picks up his slingshot and speaks without even looking at me. "Wanna spice things up?"

It takes me a second to even realize I'm the one he's talking too. "Huh?"

"Let's make a bet. Shoot for the prize targets. Whoever hits the most wins, loser has to chug one."

"Do what now?"

"Just say yes dude."

I have no idea what he's saying, but I'm sure as hell not backing down from a challenge. "You're on."

...a minute later, I find myself rubbing a sore ego. Eiichi downed the other six targets before I hit my third. He looks at me, grinning. I extend my hand for a shake, "nice shooting."

He returns the shake. "Thanks man."

"So what was the wager?"

He waves his hand in dismissal, "meh, you'll see up on the hill dude."

On the hill... I still don't know what they mean by that. Nakata said something similar earlier, but I guess I'll find out by the end of the night.

Eiichi and I have already burned through our ammunition, but the girls are still firing away. Nana shoots true, but I notice that Saki seems to be having the slightest difficulty in using her slingshot. It's not terribly noticeable, but her movements take just a little bit longer than usual. Little things, like fumbling with the ball when trying to insert it in the slingshots pouch. She's having particular difficulty with this one, the shot ends up dropping to the floor, and for the briefest second, I see the slightest hint of annoyance on her face. It's gone before I know it, replaced with her usual carefree smile.

We finish out the round, and squeeze our way through the crowd surrounding the booth. The sun is low in the horizon, and beams of light pierce horizontally through the clouds. There's a lot of people out now, but there's only a few by the stands. The majority are seated on the grass, interspersed over the courtyard and the rest of the grounds.

"Oh!" Saki looks up from her phone. "Fireworks start in less than an hour, we gotta get up there."

"Well what are we waiting for!?" says Eiichi, excitement obvious in his voice.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

She smiles mischievously, "you'll see."

~~~~~

It should have been obvious enough. There's only one hill that makes sense to go up after all. Yamaku is nestled halfway up a large hill outside of town, and we quickly start a hike the rest of the way up. It really isn't far, but for obvious reasons, our group makes slow progress.

In particular, Rebecca seems to be struggling. Her limp is getting noticeably worse, and she stops momentarily to rub her knee. She pulls out the bottle of pain killers from her pocket, and gives the bottle a small shake. Judging by the sound, there's only a couple left. She pops the cap and tilts it to her mouth, finishing the bottle.

"Dammit..." she mutters under her breath. "Hang on guys," she calls out, leaning on her cane a bit. "I need a second."

"OH NO YOU DON'T!"

Eyes snap as Nakata bolts past me from behind, bee-lining for Rebecca. Before she has a chance to react, he's already swept Rebecca off her feet, after which the objections begin.

"Nakata, what are you doing!? Put me down!" She's trying to maintain her serious demeanor, but it's already beginning to crack.

"We've got places to be Blackburn! No time to stop now!"

He carries her on in long, loping strides up the hill. Rebecca finally drops the serious act entirely, and her laughter fades as Nakata runs further into the distance. How this guy managed to sneak up on us I will never know.

The four of us remaining exchange bewildered glances before giving in to a fit of uneasy chuckles. We set off again, eventually meeting at the top of the hill.

"Ahhh..." Eiichi breathes a sigh of relief as he plops himself down on a log.

"Awesome," says Saki, looking at her phone. "About thirty minutes until the fireworks start."

"Thats it?" says Rebecca.

"We better get started then!" exclaims Nakata. He stands and reaches into a nearby bush, and comes out with an old, worn out, and very full backpack, which clinks as he moves it. Eiichi lifts his head from its place on Nana's lap and looks over to Nakata.

"Toss Hisao two, he owes me one from earlier."

Nakata raises an eye. "Oh yeah? What for."

"Lost a bet at the shooting gallery," he says, lowering his head again.

Nakata laughs as he unzips the backpack. "Rule number one about hangin' out with us Hisao, never make a bet with Ichi. Fucker wins at everything." He tosses a bottle at me, which I catch.

Beer. It's a bottle of beer. Now, I wasn't exactly the best of kids back at my old high school, I was almost never home, but then again, neither were my parents. I never missed class, my grades were near the top, and was rarely late... okay I guess I was pretty straight edge. I've never drank before, and to be honest I'm a little nervous at the prospect. Besides, I don't know how this will affect my heart.

"Hisao!" I glance up as Nakata yells my name, only barely in time to catch a second bottle. "You gonna drink it or just stare at it?"

"I'm not sure if I should..."

"You're chuggin' at least one dude, you owe me," says Eiichi, sitting up.

Nakata continues passing out bottles to the rest of our company, and grabs one for himself. He swings his left arm around me, bottle in his right.

"A'ight man, here. I'll chug it with you."

"I really don't..."

Nakata gives me a shake. "Live a little Hisao! Okay how about this, we'll all chug one with you," he says, looking around

I follow his gaze, everyone has a bottle in their hands. The guys and Rebecca all have beers, and Nana and Saki both have something more colorful, and probably sweeter. They're all nodding in agreement.

I sigh, defeated. "Fine."

"Yeah! Alright guys," he raises his glass in toast. "To our newest friend, to Hisao! Kanpai!"

I feel my cheeks grow hot as everyone raises their glasses and joins in the toast. "Kanpai!"

I throw my bottle backwards and start drinking... and quickly stop in a flurry of coughs and sputters. This stuff is strong.

Next to me, Nakata's already finished with his drink, and everyone else is finishing up. "C'mon man, go go go!" He wipes his mouth with his sleeve, and quickly starts a chant. "Nonde nonde nonde!..."

I resign myself as the others join. I guess I'm not getting out of this one. Trying not to pay attention to the taste, I throw back my bottle once again and drink until it's empty.

My success is met with boisterous cheers all around. Nakata gives me another shake and lets go, satisfied with my performance. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve as well, "dang man, you couldn't get something a little less strong?"

Nakata smiles. "We splurged a little for the festival, it's the best time of year to celebrate! Besides, you don't know strong yet until you've tried this.." He pulls out another bottle from the backpack, a large, glass one filled with clear liquid. I wouldn't have the first clue what it was, had the front not been clearly labeled "vodka".

I sigh, and hang my head. Tonight will be interesting at least, that's for sure.

~~~~~

I stare upwards, half aware, and the canvas of stars spin and blend into a spiral pattern above me and my eyes lose focus and the world splits in two. My head rests on a rock, wholly uncomfortable but too drunk to care. I grunt as I throw my body forwards, attempting to sit and take part in the lively conversation that surrounds me. "Hey... Ichi?"

"Yeah dude?"

"Pass me another beer?"

A wide grin spreads on his face. He reaches into the backpack and pulls one out. "Thought you'd never ask."

As the night progressed and I became further intoxicated, my inhibitions quickly dropped. After the first beer, we enjoyed a second, and not ones to start a first timer off easy, join them for a shot afterwards, which very nearly came back up. Needless to say, I'm feeling more than pleasantly buzzed, but the taste of beer is slowly growing on me. It's not horrible, at least.

The alcohol has only made Nakata louder, if that was at all possible, laughing at his own joke while Rebecca, sitting next to him, has her head in her hands. Nana and Ichi have switched places, she now resting her head on Eiichi's lap while he drinks straight from the bottle of vodka. Saki sits by herself on a tree stump, happily yet passively observing her surroundings.

"Nice of you to join us again Hisao," says Saki, giggling.

Dang she's cute...

The thought passes as quickly as it formed.

"Hisao! Welcome to the world of the living! How you feelin'?" The pale boy asks.

"Never better," I lie.

"Yeah bullshit," he laughs, "you're red as goddamn tomato!"

I grin sheepishly, and everyone else joins in for a laugh at my expense.

My gaze drifts over the merry scene in front of me. Six friends, the top of a hill, seated under a canopy of stars and celebrating the end of a festival with drinks in hand. I am so glad I stumbled in on these people my first day here...

A whistle sounds behind me, and everyone is briefly illuminated in a flash of blue light. The sound of a whip cracks through the air... followed by a shriek. My head snaps to the source. Rebecca tenses, drawing her arms to her face as if shielding herself. In the moment before she covers her face, I catch a glimpse of her expression. Is that... fear?

"Hey, hey! Rebecca, it's just the fireworks, it's okay." Nakata kneels in front of her, grasping her shoulders. His voice is... tender, certainly an adjective I've never used on him before.

She seems to have called down already though, without Nakata's aid. She lowers her arms.

"Yeah, right- sorry. Surprised me, just wasn't ready for it."

Nakata nods. With... whatever just happened behind us, our heads turn to the show. Seconds later, more shapes and colors bloom from the blackness, heralded only by the tinny screech as they slice through the summer sky.

"Fuck yeah! Wohoo! Yeah!" Nakata wastes no further time in welcoming the celebration. He leaps to his feet, pumping his fists in the air, and lightly jogs over to the ridgeline at the top of the hill, intent on getting the best view possible.

We're slow to follow, but follow we do. I find myself standing next to Nakata, between him and the couple, which joins us shortly thereafter. Nakata has his leg up on a rock, arms folded and unironically trying to look majestic as hell while Eiichi stands tall with his left arm around Nana who cuddles close to him, head resting on his shoulder, right arm around his waist, and left resting gently on his chest.

The light strobes over the ridgeline and the courtyard and the quaint village below and the whole world flashes between blackness and light as if blinking and the colors swirl and mix and play off the smoke of their precursors which hangs over the school and obscures it like a mist and I stand with my hands in my pockets and gaze upwards, into the calamity. We watch silently for a moment breathing steady and calm in contrast with the spectacle before us and Eiichi's smile becomes melancholic as he rests his head on Nana's rested on him.

He breaths out, sighs in barely more than a whisper. "God damn I love it here."

He sounds tired but instinct tells me more lies within that sigh than mere fatigue from the events of the day. His admission carries a weight to it, an exhaustion, a weariness that would be reserved for only the most elderly among us if only this world was a fair one but it isn't. Here it is, coming from a young man who should be in the prime of his life yet has grown world-worn and weary before his time. His eyes tell the stories of the days he wishes he could recall, a time before whatever landed him here blindsided him like a bat out of hell and changed his life forever. Like what changed my life forever. Like what changed all our lives forever.

We're all standing now. Rebecca and Saki have joined the line, flanking us and guarding our sides like good commanders should and as we stand overlooking my new home the smile on Eiichi's face and the faces of all my companions tells me that there's still more to that sigh than misery. In it lies a sort of grim determination, an acceptance of their lot in life and a resolution to press on.

For the first time ever, I feel the same smile begin to creep across my face.

Unable to contain myself any longer I loose a savage roar and jump and pump my fists and throw my arms around my friends beside me and pull them close and they reciprocate and cheer and thrust their own fists into the air and the girls join in too and the fireworks flash brighter and the explosions boom louder as if responding to our excitement and the cheers from the crowd below swell and grow and envelop me, an outcast amongst outcasts and for once I simply do not fucking care. Whether it's the alcohol that courses through me or the people who stand by me or some other reason unbeknownst to me the universe seems to say, "welcome home."

I may not be there yet, but I'm through with hiding within myself. I will not allow my condition to define or control me. I cannot allow myself to join the likes of some I have seen here, terrified to speak to or even be noticed by those around me. I may never flaunt or laugh about my condition the way Nakata does, but at least my heart is in the right place now. At least I'm willing to try.

And we stand rank and file, veterans in a world for which we were poorly designed, but as veterans as soldiers and so we will fight until the bitter end, don't close that coffin yet, I'm alive. Together, we stand rank and file, steely and resolute, united defiant against the mistakes of our creator.

End Act 1

Next Chapter ~ Mercy! Let her Conscience Guide Her

[ComeWhatMay]

For anyone following this story, many thanks for being patient. Classes recently started, and between that, moving, NDK, and a host of other real life complications, made writing this chapter an arduous process. For once though, I'm happy with it. If I'm honest, I haven't exactly been ecstatic about the quality of the last few chapters, and I hope this one is a refreshing (and best case scenario, permanent) change from that.

I'll admit, I'm also kind of using you guys for practice. I decided to attempt writing in the style of one of my favorite authors during the last part of the chapter, when Hisao's altered state of mind allowed for a more... fluid style of writing. I think it came out well, but I'm probably a biased source, so we'll see how everyone else sees it .

It's weird, but I've found I literally cannot write this fan-fiction unless I'm listening to the Katawa Shoujo soundtrack. I get distracted and unfocused if I'm not, but when I'm listening, I'm all business. Anyone else have their own weird little writing quirks? Anyways...

Hope you enjoy guys, this one was a blast to write.

[Sharp-O]

All caught up and the last two chapters were fantastic. I love the divergent path Hisao is taking with these characters. Makes him less of a schmuck and more likable in a way. Your OCs are engaging and likable and I'm really digging the story so far. Looking forward to more, CWM!

[ComeWhatMay]

All caught up and the last two chapters were fantastic. I love the divergent path Hisao is taking with these characters. Makes him less of a schmuck and more likable in a way. Your OCs are engaging and likable and I'm really digging the story so far. Looking forward to more, CWM!

Hey sharp! I'm glad you like 'em , both the chapters and the characters that is. I'm pretty happy with the way the character interactions are coming, and I hope they come off as genuine. For some reason, I like Eiichi in particular, he just seems like the kinda guy I'd love to sit at a piano bar and have a drink with .

[TyronePotato]

Loving this story so far, can't wait to read more when it gets released.

[ComeWhatMay]

Incredible where researching your stories can take you. With Rebecca's condition in mind, I just had beers with a survivor of the 2012 Aurora theater shooting. Guy still has shrapnel in his body for fucks sake. Enlightening, to say the least.

[Mirage_GSM]

He should have it taken out.

A piece of shrapnel is the reason I never got to know my grandfather. He died from one left over in his leg from WW II - in 1978, 33 years after the war ended and just one year after I was born. Blood poisoning.

[ComeWhatMay]

I tried not to get too specific about certain details, but I think the shrapnel is buckshot, and I don't think steel degrades or causes blood poisoning.

Regardless, sorry about your grandfather. My grandpa is one of the most down to earth people I know, I couldn't imagine growing up without him.

[Oddball]

I just can't get into this one. Hisao just doesn't feel like Hisao too me.

When he first arrives at Yamaku in the game, he's very uncomfortable with everything, and has a hard time relating to people, even people that are trying. Here we have people rubbing his face in the fact that they're disabled, and he takes it in stride and is perfectly comfortable with them.

From there, he just goes to delinquent status far too quickly. He's cussing in his inner monologues, showing up late for class, mouthing off to Mutou... it feels like his entire personality has changed overnight. I can see him adapting to his new friends ways of doing things in a few weeks or months but this is all too quickly.

[ComeWhatMay]

I just can't get into this one. Hisao just doesn't feel like Hisao too me.

Yeah I totally get it, Hisao does take a slightly different path than in the rest of his routes, though I'll admit that's also kind of my objective. I do want to write something new, not something we've already seen/played before.

In my defense, In the Visual Novel, he is rather uncomfortable with everything, but I can possibly even see that as a product of other people being uncomfortable about it as well. We also never saw him with any people who were this open about their condition, and it's possible for social awkwardness to be created when two people are awkwardly trying to avoid a subject. There is something to be said about baptism by fire!

As for delinquent status, I was actually pretty careful about this. According to research done for the Kurihama Alcoholism Center in Yokosuka, 70% of Japanese seniors report some experience with alcohol. While underage drinking is pretty taboo where I live in the States, it is much less controversial in Europe and Asia, including Japan. Additionally, he actually does cuss in his musings in the Virtual Novel proper, I can think of one instance off the top of my head during the festival scene in Shizune's route (he calls a stall "a pain in the ass"), though I'd have to go back and look for other instances.

While I tried to keep this Hisao as true to the VN as possible, it is my own interpretation of the scenario and the character, so I understand if it's not your cup of tea. I will keep this in mind and be careful as I press forward, however. Thanks for your feedback.

[ComeWhatMay]

Act 2 ~ Anger

Chapter 6 ~ Mercy! Let Her Conscience Guide Her

I come too with a throbbing head and an aching body. In particular, it feels like my right arm was hit with a baseball bat. My alarm clock shrieks at me, driving spikes of pain through my temples and my face twists into a mighty grimace before I open my eyes, squinting... and I'm promptly blinded by the morning sun. Scrambling to silence the cacophony doing little to assuage my headache, I miss the button completely and fall into a jumbled mess of limbs and blankets. My senses continue to be pounded mercilessly as I untangle myself and finally silence the alarm, gaining only the most momentary of peace.

Standing straddlelegged and bracing myself against my desk with my forearms, my gaze drifts hazily around the vaguely familiar room with beige walls and boring furniture as I breathe heavily. The deep breaths do little to settle my stomach, however, and a wave of nausea passes over me. Knowing that time is of the essence, and conscious of the fact that I don't want to spend the next few hours disinfecting my entire room, I bolt for the door with my hand covering my mouth, desperately trying to hold in a wretched combination of shitty vodka and shitty yakisoba until I can reach the porcelain throne.

~~~~~

The dormitories are arranged thusly. A main hall runs lengthwise down the building, off of which multiple "pods" of rooms branch. Each pod contains four dorm rooms within which individual students have their own private space to sleep, live, and study, usually in that order. Also in each pod is a common area, equipped with a television set and assorted furniture, along with a communal restroom, with a shower, urinal (presumably only in the men's dorms), a flush toilet, and two sinks. It is in this restroom that I take refuge for the next thirty minutes, cowering, huddled over the porcelain and cursing every life decision I ever made that brought me to this very moment, hurling into the toilet and clutching the sides as if it was some divine being, perhaps capable of bringing me a fleeting tranquility into this chaotic mess I call a life.

I hear a click as the door opens and I would cringe backwards if I had the energy but I don't. My eyes glance lazily to the newcomer, and my only neighbor, the bespectacled boy Kenji, stumbles into the fluorescent lighting with his hand over his stomach, after which he releases a mighty belch and makes eye contact with me. His vocalizations echo my own thought process since I woke this morning.

"Ughhhh..."

He lurches to the left and his forearms hit the sinks with a dull thud, identical to my earlier posture against my desk before my body realized how poorly fried food and alcohol combine in a virgin man's stomach. I sincerely hope he won't follow my lead...

My hopes are futile.

Kenji's body heaves forward and he begins to empty the contents of his stomach, and a horrifying scent of whisky, pretzels, and sick wafts in my general direction, encouraging my body to follow suit. I unwillingly oblige, and a duet which must have been contracted by Satan and performed by every deaf student at the Academy using nails and chalkboards as instruments fills the silence between us as we mutually regret having ever been born. If I was in a better state, the situation would almost be comical.

Finally drained, I dry heave for a minute or two before I sit back onto the wall and stare at the ceiling, breathing heavy and controlled. Kenji is the one to break the silence.

"I didn't know you drank..." he says, hazily looking at me with eyes silently conveying the depth of his misery.

"I... don't..." I reply. I flop my head forward, then I qualify. "Well... I didn't used too."

I think back to night before. Two beers and a shot. Or... was it three? Then we sat around for a while. My god I really drank last night didn't I? Then fireworks... what the hell happened after the fireworks? Obviously I got back to my room okay, but... how?

I strain for a few seconds, trying to remember, before giving up. I'm drawing a blank, and I'm really in no state to care.

"Didn't think you'd be much of a drinker either," I say in reply.

I'm lying of course. His constant rantings over the dangers of feminism, plus the fact that I've never seen him hanging out with anyone else, make me think he isn't exactly the most popular student at this school. Granted, I've never seen him bullied, or anyone for that matter, I guess students here have more important things on their minds, but just because this school accepts everyone doesn't mean it welcomes everyone. Long story short, he doesn't seem like he has a ton of friends, and having a drink every now and again isn't something I'd put past him.

"Every man deserves some of the finer pleasures in life Hisao, at least every once in a while!" He says enthusiastically. "It's a reward, some well deserved R&R. In between deployments and such."

I can see where this is going. I try to interject, bringing up the first thing that comes to mind. "Man, those fireworks were really someth-"

"We can't let our guard down Hisao, can't show any weakness..."

Damn. Too late.

"...because the moment we do, that's when they get ya. Once bitten twice shy, so they say."

This guy just does not understand idioms.

"It can be anytime man, anywhere. They're everywhere I tell ya!" He punctuates his rant by slamming his fist on the sink. "Even where they're not."

"Kenji, what on Earth are you talking about?"

He looks up from the sink, indignant. "Don't play dumb Hisao, you know it's those damned feminists!"

I knew. I knew but I couldn't help asking out of sheer incredulity. And come on, deployments? Do us men have our own secret organization giving out orders? Just how deep do this guy's delusions go? With no energy to argue, I decide simply to humor him.

"Yeah? Well how do we fight 'em then Kenji?"

"Constant vigilance!" he exclaims, yet again pounding the sink. "We're always on the back foot... we get no preemptive strikes, so we have to be constantly on the ready."

He takes a few deep breaths then continues his monologue.

"We have to treat them so kindly, we have to be so nice, and never hit a girl or you'll be sorry! They pretend they're so weak and innocent, but I know the truth. One day, they'll overstep their bounds, you mark my words." He says the last bit shaking a finger at me. "They'll overstep their bounds, and then everyone will know."

He's become quite animated. It would almost seem like he's forgotten why he's in the restroom to begin with if not for our intermittent spits and heavy breathing, trying to clear the taste of vomit from our mouths. He eventually pushes off the countertop and leans back on the wall opposite the sinks, hitting it with a dull thud. He slides down until he's sitting in a similar position to me, evidently having used up his energy and lost the will to continue.

We sit recuperating for a moment, and I look at my watch. 30 minutes to class, time to get moving. I begrudgingly stand and turn the sink on, making sure to use the one that Kenji didn't. I splash my face and down a glass of cold water, then realizing I haven't quite yet quenched my thirst, I down another.

I leave Kenji muttering to himself in the bathroom and don my uniform and down my pills. I glance at the mirror to straighten myself out and get a read on how I look. The answer is... well, pretty awful. I sport a nice bruise on my upper arm, thankfully covered up by my uniform, and with an unshaven face, bags under my eyes, and aching all over, I spray some air freshener into the bathroom and exit the dormitory building.

~~~~~

I get to class a few minutes early for once. Even though my reasons for getting up so quickly were less than pleasant, at least it's improved my punctuality. Misha gives me a delightful wave, but Shizune all but ignores me. She doesn't ignore Misha, however, and shoots a brief, annoyed glare at her translator. It's so quick I almost think I'm imagining things, but Misha responds with an impish look.

I really don't think I deserve this sort of animosity from her. Part of me wants to apologize but... Shizune's idea of a welcoming week to Yamaku was taxing at best and outright rude at worst. I feel like I was pretty clear that I was only going to be with the Student Council for a short time, and her using that as an excuse to get the most work out of me I don't exactly consider fair. It's probably best to just let sleeping dogs lie.

I return the wave with a quick smile, and fall in my seat next to the girl with drills in her hair.

"Have a good festival Misha?"

"Yeah~!" She says, grinning and bouncing her head up and down.

She brings up her hands as if to sign, but then her grin dims ever so slightly and she pauses, looking to her right. The class president has her arms crossed and is making it a point to look in the other direction, trying to burn a hole through the door with her glare. Tentatively, Misha lowers her arms.

"Uh... yeah Hicchan, we had a great time," she says, still halfheartedly looking in her friend's direction. It's very strange, seeing Misha talk without waving her arms about. It makes her seem less animated, though the general mood of the room may be partly to blame. Most of the students seem exhausted, a few still aren't here yet, and at least one is hung over and doing his best to hide it.

"Yeah? What did you guys do?"

She finally looks back to me. "Well, part of it we spent doing inspections."

"Inspections?"

"Yeah, making sure all the stalls were doing well, seeing if anyone needed help."

"Testing the food to make sure it's good?"

"Nononono Hicchan~!" she says, waving her arms in front of her. "Though come to think of it..."

I chuckle. Now that is the face of missed opportunity.

"Well I sure hope that's not all you did."

She shakes her head, drills bouncing and the lightheartedness returning ever so slightly. "Wahahaha~! Of course not silly, we played every game at the festival!"

"That sounds fun, win any prizes?"

She shakes her head again. "Just some small trinkets, nothing big or fancy."

Our conversation is cut short as the door slides open and Mutou strides through, shoulders hunched and eyes barely open. I'm not too worried about being called out anymore, everyone looks more or less miserable. He stifles a yawn as he reaches his desk, and papers rustle as everyone takes out their materials.

So begins another week at Yamaku.

~~~~~

The lunch bell rings, making myself, the teacher, and a good number of students jump. Everyone was completely zoned out, Mutou was idly going over environments and carrying capacity, and no one was keeping track of time. Interrupted mid-sentence, he fumbles with his words as students pack up for their lunch hour.

"Oh, uh, so the page at the back of the handout is your homework. It's due tomorrow... no make it Wednesday, at the start of class." He says it all without realizing he's been mostly tuned out at this point.

I pack up my own bag and head over to the usual place, a rarely used elevator on the other side of the building. There's fewer classrooms down there, so it's less congested and easier to meet up, and we don't have to wait for the elevator or shove our way down the stairs through a crowd of hungry students.

I'm a ways down the hall when I see Nakata and Ichi, both slouched against the wall with hands in pockets, talking and laughing. They notice my approach as I get closer and Nakata's face spreads into a sly grin.

"He lives," observes Ichi from across the hall.

"The way I felt this morning, I half wish I hadn't." I lean against the wall. "Where are the girls?"

"Nana's with our teacher, she'll be out in a bit. Rebecca usually doesn't join us on Mondays, and Saki stayed in sick."

"Oh yeah?"

"You aren't the only one who had a bit too much to- ow!"

He's cut off by Nakata's sharp elbow to the ribs, and Mutou rounds the corner a few seconds later. I feel like he's looking at me, but I avoid eye contact. I know he isn't exactly overjoyed with my choice of friends, and I don't need a reminder.

"Sleeves down, Mr. Inoue," he says as he passes.

Eiichi looks sheepish, and complies. He waits until after Mutou leaves eye and earshot, then continues.

"Anyways, yeah she wasn't feelin' up to it, texted Nana to let us know not to wait for her."

Nakata hasn't said a word the whole time, and is still looking at me with a sly grin. I'm getting slightly uncomfortable, and I'm about to ask when the grin suddenly disappears. "Speak of the devil!" he says, looking down the hall.

"Hey guys," comes Nana's soft voice in response. "Let's get some food, I'm starving."

~~~~~

With pizza trays in one hand and cans of juice in the other, we wind our way outside to our usual picnic tables on the grass. I stretch, the fresh air doing wonders for my slowly fading headache. Amidst the idle chatter, there's something on my mind.

"So how the heck did I get back to my room last night?" I ask at the first break in conversation.

Eiichi roars in laughter, and Nakata puts his face in his hand. Nana just sits there smiling.

"I mean, we didn't just go through the front door right? Isn't that the area that is patrolled? And stop laughing!"

This only redoubles Eiichi's laughter, and Nakata waits for it to subside before responding.

Chuckling himself, he says, "you're wildly overestimating how intense campus security is here Hisao, but no, we didn't go through the front door. Ya know how the forest runs up close to the back of the dorms? We went through Ling's window, he's on the ground floor. Same with Saki and Nana. They're both on the ground floor too, so they just left their windows open."

"Hang on, I met Ling?"

This time it's Eiichi who facepalms, with significant force I might add.

"Yeah you met Ling!" exclaims Nakata. "Ya gave the guy a big hug!"

My face quickly grows hot and it's my turn to hide my face in my hands. "Oh my God..."

Nakata throws his arm over me, chuckling. "Don't worry about it man! I take the blame, I probably encouraged you a bit much for your first night on the hill. Kinda realized that when you tumbled through Ling's window," he says with a wide smile.

"So I take it that's where this bruise came from?" I say, rolling up my right sleeve.

Eiichi, who had managed to compose himself, relapses into stupid giggling.

"Yeah Hisao, we probably all were a bit too encouraging," chimes in Nana.

Their consoling does little to ease my embarrassment, it sounds like I made a fool of myself last night.

"Aw come on Hisao, no harm no foul!" says the boy with his arm around my shoulders, thumping me on the back.

"Ugh," I say, taking my head out of my hands and shaking my head ever so slightly.

"I think we all had too much," Nana continues. "Speaking of which, I need to go take some Aspirin," she says, looking at Eiichi.

"Oh, I'll come with," he says, perking up and making to stand.

"No don't worry, I'll be right back. Besides, lunch ends pretty soon. You'd better stay if you wanna finish your food." She stands and takes her leave with a wave, quickly disappearing behind the trees of the school gardens. With her last point in mind, I get back to my pizza.

After a few bites, I'm mid-chew when I look up... and I'm met with Nakata's same sly grin as before. He's reclined against the picnic table, cheek resting on his fist, with the exact same look as in the hallway. I pause, then swallow before asking the other question that's been on my mind. Eyes locked, my question is simple. "What!?"

"Hii-saaao you dog," he says, grin growing wide, jutting his head forward and back.

"What are you talking about!?"

He drops his hand to the table. "Oh come on, I know you saw Saki makin' eyes at you," he says, punching me lightly in the non-bruised arm.

"Wha-! no... huh?" My eyes widen and my face grows red for a second time. "Are you messing with me man?" I say, forcing out a laugh.

"Dude, you were drunk, but no one's that drunk."

My pizza sits on my hands, dripping grease and all but forgotten about. "N-n-no, she was not. Stop kidding around man," I say, rather flustered and shaking my head.

"Okay, come on Ichi, back me up here," he says, looking in the direction of the kid snarfing down his slice of pepperoni and jalapenos.

Eiichi puts up a finger while he chews his last, rather large bite. He rubs his hands together, and still chewing, he shrugs and upturns his palms in classic, "I dunno", fashion.

"Oh puh-leeease. Don't tell me I was the only one that noticed this!" says Nakata, thoroughly exasperated. "C'mon it's really impressive!" he says to both of us. "I haven't seen Saki interested in anyone, and this guy's gettin' measured up in less than a week!"

The carillon bell rings, signaling the return to classes. Eiichi swallows, then stands to take his and Nana's tray back to the cafeteria. "I dunno man, I ain't no love doctor! And heck, if she was, well, good for him. She's cute." He walks off without another word.

We grab our bags and trays too, preparing to follow. Nakata jogs up beside me and sighs. "I'm tellin' you Hisao, she was."

I chuckle, "yeah yeah, whatever you say man."

I keep walking while shaking my head. I get the feeling that Nakata reads too much into certain social situations. I've only just been here a week, and already he thinks that Saki, the absolutely beautiful Saki Enomoto, their supposed "Commander in Chief", who has evidently never been interested in anyone on campus, was making eyes and the new kid who can't walk up a hill without a death scare?

Yeah, fat chance.

Next Chapter ~ Saturday Afternoon Part 1 - A Yamaku Picnic

[ComeWhatMay]

Phew. Back at it.

[Mirage_GSM]

Well, yes, Hisao's transformation to delinquent was a bit (okay, "very") quick, but at least your story continues to be refreshingly different

[Dash9]

Hello,

I'm a new member to the forums, but I've been lurking around and reading for quite a while. I noticed this story quite a while ago. I just wanted to say that you've created a very intriguing story and I'm looking forward to see where it goes. There don't seem to be too many Saki-centric stories out there, so I'm especially curious.

Thanks for taking the time and effort to share this with us,
--Dash