The Fixers - "School Daze" 28-9-15

[Decadent Albatros]

Damn Kenji dropping some bombs to Molly! I really liked how he protected Hana (which I find really adorable, props to you for making her look like that) and in general how Molly learned a new lesson. I like to think that this type of behavior, in part, would be what non-accident Hanako would be like. In general again good job and damn you for the cliffhanger >:T

P.S.: where are the scars? Werwolf regen abilities or?

[Alpacalypse]

Do you have a policy against writing Hanakos that aren't adorable as all hell? Because I'm totally down with that. I'm just hoping that she isn't a double agent and that those last lines were Molly being overly suspicious. Because that wouldn't be so good.

Also, is it wrong that I now have an image of werewolf!Hanako fighting Eileen the Crow from Bloodborne stuck in my head? Because I do and it's awesome

This story's getting good

[Decadent Albatros]

Hanako fighting Eileen the Crow from Bloodborne stuck in my head? Because I do and it's awesome

Well now we need to have this scenario! Hanako as Vicar Emilia would be awesome

[Blank Mage]

Okay, caught up, lurker mode deactivated and we're set to comment.

So many awesome weapons, so many references. The whole 'elemental weapon properties' makes me think of Epic Battle Fantasy. The tone kind of matches, too. I'm catching a hint of interesting back story on Misha's version of 'Shizzy', so that's intriguing. Given the volatile and violent nature of her reality, it's possible that Shizune's ambition might have led her to terrible acts of greatness. Now, who might have been the one trying to assassinate Misha in her sleep, I wonder...?

Kenji seems okay. That in and of itself is weird.

I can never seem to get a handle on Lilly. She's kind of equal parts irreverent and proper, and it seems to change scene to scene.

Not much to Molly just yet. Basic hero's guilt, sure, but I'd expect someone as experienced and competent as her to have better control of her emotions. Her switch from rage to sorrow was a little abrupt.

As much as I like the idea of Alt!Hanako joining the team, it doesn't make much logical sense. Her fragile emotional state makes her unpredictable, which is a liability, given the nature of their missions. Her 'power' is also as likely to provoke situations as solve them, as nothing ends negotiations faster than having a terrifying monster on your side. She's been locked up, alone, for three years. She's not ready for conversations, let alone combat.

Unfortunately, I'm gonna be that guy at least once today; I'm a little annoyed at how easily these guys accept everything. To wit-

"KILL THE WEREWOLF, KILL IT WITH FIRE"
"Molly, stop being mean."
"Oh, fine."

"Oh, I knew another you from a different universe. We were friends."
"Yay, we're friends now!"
"Eh, sure why not?"

"Kenji might be dying a horrific death as we speak."
moments later, Shiina chuckles while reminiscing about Angel!Lilly. SHIINA THIS IS NOT A TIME FOR CHUCKLES. YOUR BEST FRIEND JUST GOT DRAGGED OFF BY A WEREWOLF.

[Sharp-O]

P.S.: where are the scars? Werwolf regen abilities or?

Obviously, this Hanako was never in a house fire but she does have scars (if you look carefully at the sprite), along the right side of her chest and left abdomen, caused by the werewolf that killed her family and passed the curse to her. There's also one down the inside of her right forearm that's not the same has her other two.

I'm catching a hint of interesting back story on Misha's version of 'Shizzy', so that's intriguing. Given the volatile and violent nature of her reality, it's possible that Shizune's ambition might have led her to terrible acts of greatness. Now, who might have been the one trying to assassinate Misha in her sleep, I wonder...?

Shiina and Shizune's relationship is very different to what we've come to know and the Lilly of their world has a lot to do with that.

Kenji seems okay. That in and of itself is weird.

That was kind of the mission statement for his character. What if Kenji was more like Hisao? But not so much a putz.

I can never seem to get a handle on Lilly. She's kind of equal parts irreverent and proper, and it seems to change scene to scene.

I wanted her to have a touch of duality, of who she wants to be and who she was raised to be. Imagine Akira having to pretend to be Lilly and that's the kind of feel I'm going for her character.

As much as I like the idea of Alt!Hanako joining the team, it doesn't make much logical sense. Her fragile emotional state makes her unpredictable, which is a liability, given the nature of their missions. Her 'power' is also as likely to provoke situations as solve them, as nothing ends negotiations faster than having a terrifying monster on your side. She's been locked up, alone, for three years. She's not ready for conversations, let alone combat.

She's coming along for the ride, I never said she was joining the team Believe me, she's going to have be housetrained first before she can earn the chance to get her own bracelet.

Valid constructive criticism about pacing

I'll agree that I kind of rushed through some stuff in this chapter, mainly to move the plot along a little but yeah, I could have handled all those scenes a little better. I'll try to bear that in mind going forward.

Glad everyone is enjoying the story so far! I hope that I can keep making this a fun and enjoyable story for everyone.

[Blank Mage]

Oh, the Hanako comment was directed more at the posters who were throwing ideas around. As for the constructive criticism, don't worry too much, I've just been stuck in 'editor mode' lately. You're doing fine, I'm just the kind of guy who points out plot holes during the movie.

[Sharp-O]

Well I would like my continuity to be good so if anything crops up, please don't hesitate to call me out on it

[Sharp-O]

Chapter 08: Battle Scars

-----Kenji-----

God, my head is killing me… Yuuko did a great job of patching up the bump on my head but the painkillers must have worn off while I slept. Looks like Shiina heeded Lilly’s warning to let me get some bed rest alone since she’s not trying to hog the covers like usual.

I check the wardrobe and, to my surprise, it’s stocked with an assortment of fresh clothes. Did Yuuko buy all-- Wait, no, she would have summoned them or materialised them or whatever the term is for what she does and how she does it. Still, she got my sizes right and this stuff is pretty nice so I’ll have to thank her.

I throw on some fresh socks, black jeans and a white t-shirt with a neat geometric pattern on it before heading into the main room.



-----Lilly-----

“Good afternoon, Kenji!” Yuuko calls out cheerily as his figure comes into my field of vision.

“Good mor--Afternoon!? How long was I sleeping for!?” His voice raises in surprise and I chuckle a little, his attention turning towards me.

“You were out like a light when I caught Shiina sneaking into your room this morning to check on you.” I say and the jump in his heart rate indicates embarrassment.

“Hi, Lilly. Where are the others now?” He asks and I look towards Yuuko as she approaches my table with both my afternoon tea and a delicious smelling mocha coffee for Kenji.

“Shin and Shiina decided to take Hanako exploring, Yuuko says we’re stopped in a relatively normal parallel world. Molly is… training.” I say with a slight hint of disappointment in my voice.

“Is she okay? I kind of railed hard against her last night.” He admits rather guiltily.

“She’ll be fine. Our new guest seems to have thrown her a fair bit though.” I say and Yuuko claps her hands together.

“Oh! Hanako wanted me to return this to you. Once I explained what it was, and how it’s bonded to your DNA only, she wanted to give it back but you were still sleeping so…” Yuuko rambles a little but offers Kenji his bracelet back, which he slips onto his wrist.

“Thanks, Yuuko. Do you guys think I should go talk to Molly?” He asks, worry in his voice. I think he should, not only to clear the air but to make sure Molly knows we’re not siding against her.

“I think it would be a good idea, sure.” I say with a soft smile. Maybe he can also get Molly to reveal why she brought that wolfsbane flower back with her…

-----Molly-----

“Ha!” Piercing thrust and then slide up the shaft…

THUNK

“Ha!” To deliver a one-two…

FUP-FUP

“Yaaaaaah!” Finish with a spinning back kick.

WHAP

I grip the shaft of Rhongomyniad as the plush, weighted, dummy is catapulted across the training room, hitting the far wall with a soft thud. The motors in my legs whine down to their usual hum as the sound of applause fills the room.

“That was amazing, Molly!” Kenji’s eyes move from me to the dummy as he makes his way towards me. “I don’t think I’d be able to budge that thing, let alone kick it into the next prefecture!”

“Do you want to give it a try?” I ask, holding my mystical spear out horizontally as I brush some errant hairs out of my face. He holds up his hands and shakes his head.

“N-no, thanks. Weapons training was never really my forte. That’s why I was always partnered up with Shiina. I’m purely defence while she’s offensive.” His remark makes me smirk and he realises what he said a few seconds later. “You know what I mean.”

“So what brings you to the training room if not to train, Kenji?” I ask genuinely as I prop my spear against the wall near my towel and drink. He follows me and rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. I can guess why…

“I wanted to apologise. I made a remark last night that was unfair of me.” He says with a hangdog expression.

“It’s okay, {mate}. I was out of line myself.” I admit, taking a sip of water.

“Oh, you definitely were but I still said a shitty thing.” He smirks and I narrow my eyes at him. “Look, how about this?”

He steps backwards into the middle of the room before erecting a dome shield around him.

“You tell me what yesterday was about and, in return, I’ll give you a target a little more durable than a practice dummy.” He crosses his arms and smirks.

“Do you really think your little barrier is a match for Rhongomyniad?” I laugh, taking up my spear again and walking around the boy in the bubble.

“You’re right… Do you have anything stronger?” Oh, game on, you cheeky bugger!

Electricity arcs through the air as I take a few swings at the dome, my spear bouncing harmlessly off it. His smirk just makes me try harder, thrusting and swinging the spear again and again.

“So why did you want to hurt Hanako last night?” He asks, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Because. She. Is. A. Were. WOLF!” Every word is punctuated with another strike, every single one doing nothing to the dome.

“I got that, but why do you hate werewolves so much?” His voice is calm, like he knows I’ll never break through… We’ll see about that.

“Because of one of my first outings as a champion.” I place the spear back into the weapon realm and open another tear. “Dyrnwyn. A werewolf was rampaging through a local park, a feral beast with cold eyes and a burning lust for blood.”

“Hmmm. The fire sword, this is getting interesting.” He notes with an amused smirk. The blade erupts into flame and I start hacking away at the dome once more. “Go on.”

“The beast hadn’t gotten far into the park when I got there, no major injuries and I was determined to keep it that way. I failed.” I say the words aloud and Kenji’s face drops. I swing harder and faster, every knockback making me angrier.

“Marigold Jenkins! Single mother! Innocent bystander! Killed because I was a naïve and stupid girl.” I wheeze, stepping backwards and putting Dyrnwyn back and summoning another weapon as I move further and further away.

“Drystan! I thought being a magical girl… Being a champion was going to be all fun and games. Saving lives, yes. Dramatic rescues, yes. And adventures! What’s so wrong about wanting some {sodding} adventures?” I take aim, a cluster of arcane bolts grouped together as I draw the bow back. Kenji looks worried, but I doubt it’s because these will hit him.

“But that back then? With the teeth and the torn flesh and all the… All the viscera? That’s not what I signed up for… That wasn’t part of the fucking deal!” I scream and loose the arrows, all having no effect, despite all of them striking at Kenji’s torso.

“Molly…” He begins and I throw my bow down, the weapon disappearing into a tear as I charge at the bubble and begin wailing on it with my fists.

“No! Don’t give me your god damn pity! I don’t deserve it!” Blow after blow hits and the bubble dissipates but not because of me. Kenji grips me tight around the shoulders as I flail my arms uselessly.

“At least you had the courage to fight, to keep going… When I saw my classmates, my friends… Yuuko… When I saw them dying, do you know what I did? I curled up into a little ball and shielded myself.” He whispers and my arms instinctively reach around his back to hug him back.

“And you know what the worst part is? It happened again and now me and Shiina are here and I’m terrified that even more of the people I care about are dead while I’m here…” Oh god, I didn’t even think of that before now. Their school was being attacked when they were plucked from their universe.

“{Bloody hell}…” That’s all I can manage with the intense knot forming in my stomach and Kenji doesn’t want to say anymore so we’ll just stay here for a little bit. Minutes upon minutes must pass by, our breathing synchronising and our bodies becoming warmer before I try to strike up a conversation.

“I can see why Shiina ends up climbing into bed with you now.” I say quietly, holding onto him as he does the same to me. “You’re a very good hugger.”

He nods silently and sighs heavily.

“Wait, what?”

-----Kenji-----

Molly and I eventually make our way back into the main room after a long chat about the nature of my relationship with Shiina, one that she already knew apparently. Speak of the devil…

“Hey! You’re awake! How are you feeling, Kenny?” Shiina calls out from the bar, where the rest of our friends sit, enjoying some food.

“Not bad, Molly just put my barrier through it’s paces and I think I passed.” I smirk at the girl beside me and she giggles.

“Let’s hope we don’t have a mission soon because I burned through most of my arsenal trying to break that {bloody} bubble of his!” She exaggerates but she really did use all of the weapons I’ve seen her use before. Hope she’s got more tricks up her sleeves.

“Our day was quite productive too.” Shin says, sipping at his coffee.

“Yeah!” Shiina continues. “We went through town, went to the hairdressers and even took a trip up to the Yamaku of this universe and, well…” She gestures to the girl beside her who I hadn’t even noticed until now. Is that…

The girl spins her stool around and hops onto her feet, crossing her arms confidently. Her lips curl cutely and her eyes practically sparkle with energy. I can’t believe this is…

“So, guys…”



“What do you think? Pretty cute, right?”

[swampie2]

That was a very refreshing read. That could be because I just chugged through 426 pages of an SAO novel (Of which I still have 6 more novels of similar or longer length to get through. )

I'm liking the new Hanako, I just hope her character will stay the same puppy-dog Hanako that you started with. It's a little strange to read a multiple POV chapter without markers, but I think I can get used to it.

Keep it up sharp!

[Yukarin]

CUUUUUUTTTEE HANAKOOOOOO

OH MY GOOOOOOOD

[Hesmiyu]

I like how you have different universe's characters. Let's you get away with not following any set route for already defined characters .

I am quite liking this. Wonder if it'll be as long as your other one or longer

[Sharp-O]

That was a very refreshing read.
I'm liking the new Hanako, I just hope her character will stay the same puppy-dog Hanako that you started with.

CUUUUUUTTTEE HANAKOOOOOO
OH MY GOOOOOOOD

I dunno... I think I can make her 20% cuter...

It's a little strange to read a multiple POV chapter without markers, but I think I can get used to it.[/size]

I could always add the markers in if that would help everyone but I'm trying my hardest to maintain the flow while making sure everyone knows whose POV is it at any given time.

I like how you have different universe's characters. Let's you get away with not following any set route for already defined characters
I am quite liking this. Wonder if it'll be as long as your other one or longer

Exactly! I've got no defined length for this one (though Monomyth was supposed to be a short one and it turned into a 50-part epic) but I'm glad you're enjoying it.

[Decadent Albatros]

Well, even if we got zero plot progression this one was quite good! I enjoyed the part with Kenji and Molly, mostly because I appreciated that you gave more weight to their past. As for Hanako in her new outfit, it's not the Yamaku uniform but it surely is goddamn cute and I'll give you props for that

[Sharp-O]

Well, even if we got zero plot progression this one was quite good! I enjoyed the part with Kenji and Molly, mostly because I appreciated that you gave more weight to their past. As for Hanako in her new outfit, it's not the Yamaku uniform but it surely is goddamn cute and I'll give you props for that

Thanks, Deca. The multiversal nature of the story helps with uniform inconsistencies in character design. This happens to be the uniform of this particular universe. Just like how Kenji's and Shiina's uniforms are different from Shin's (which is the VN's uniform)

[Yukarin]

Sharp please the ears are making me die

aaaaaaaaaaaaa