I just wanted to say that you have a really good, really entertaining handle on Shizune. Your characterisation, particularly in that first chapter but also in the second, really stands out. Your writing seems to flow naturally and makes for easy reading also. I have to admit I'm a bit envious of it.
Really looking forward to the next chapter.
Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
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- Posts: 7
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 9:06 am
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
I like Shizune’s dry monologue, almost like she was stuck in her own head and was thoroughly put out about it, but being her she refuses to give in and so you get this really interesting character. As I’ve said yours is one of, if not the only Shizune I like. (That i’ve read)
As for flow, well, I never found the other chapters dragging. But then i’m not especially picky if the characters are interesting. Then again if your having these problems at chapter three that could be a bad sign for motivation for the rest of the story.
Here’s hoping you work something out, also does your lab have a sonicator? sonicator’s are awesome.
As for flow, well, I never found the other chapters dragging. But then i’m not especially picky if the characters are interesting. Then again if your having these problems at chapter three that could be a bad sign for motivation for the rest of the story.
Here’s hoping you work something out, also does your lab have a sonicator? sonicator’s are awesome.
My Fanfics:
Miki: Fragments [Chapter 38] posted 3/5/16
One Shot Thread
Some free inspiration.
"-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."
Miki: Fragments [Chapter 38] posted 3/5/16
One Shot Thread
Some free inspiration.
"-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
It's a shame this never got continued. It started off really strong with lots of interesting material to work with.
Not Dead Yet
- Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6148
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- Location: Germany
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
Yeah, sometimes my words come back to bite me...Mirage_GSM wrote:..., and since it's from you ... there's a good chance it will be finished, since you've delivered before, ...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
- Blank Mage
- Posts: 305
- Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:29 am
- Location: My own personal hell, with a metered internet connection.
Re: Lost in Translation - A Shizune Prequel
It is, isn't it? My life was kind of devoured by one-shots, and then actual projects. As it turns out, the boards here saved my chapter 3 draft...Oddball wrote:It's a shame this never got continued. It started off really strong with lots of interesting material to work with.
...ah hell, gimme a sec. This might be back on.
And we're back.
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"I wish I could convey to you just how socially inept I am, but I can't."
"I think you just did."
"No, I really, truly haven't."
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"I wish I could convey to you just how socially inept I am, but I can't."
"I think you just did."
"No, I really, truly haven't."