I'm not too sure about this chapter, but I still hope that you guys like it.
Will try to get the next chapter out within a fortnight.
Any Comments/Feedback would be lovely.
Without further ado, enjoy the chapter
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Chapter 1 - The Day After the Night Before -
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Her words hit me like I had run face first into a cement wall at 100kmph,
"and I... I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE!"
I can't believe this, does she hate me? She must if she could yell at me like that.. I've made her hate me.. The girl I thought I loved..
These thoughts cloud my mind as i slowly make my way back to my dorm room, shuffling my feet slowly as if I have 50 kilo weights attached to each foot, I can't even bring myself to look up from my feet. I thought I was doing the right thing.. What did I do wrong? Did I even do anything wrong?
As I make my up the stairs to my floor, I can feel the warm sensation of tears starting to well up behind my eyes. Down the hall towards my room, as I get within two meters of my room I can hear the sound of locks being unlocked behind me
"Not know Kenji, please don't come out" I think to myself as his bedroom door slowly opens.
As his glasses slowly peek through the gap that has been made I hear his voice sound out
"Who's there?! I know there's someone out here," Without replying I slowly unlock my bedroom door, not wanting to talk or even acknowledge Kenji's presence.
"YOU CAN"T SNEAK UP ON ME YOU FILTHY FEMINISTS!" I hear Kenji yell loud enough to wake the entire floor as I walk into my room. Turning on my light, the bright shine hurts my eyes as they try to adept to the change in the luminescence of the room. Looking around I feel nothing but pain. From the bottles of pills on my dresser, reminding me of my own mortality to the opened letter that Iwanako sent me weeks ago. My thoughts still reside with what happened only minutes ago, even though it feels like hours to me. Finally the tears burst through and I start crying.
Falling forwards onto my bed I sob into my pillow, holding it like one would hold a lover or a parent.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.... what have I done? Can I really have pushed her away?" These thoughts shroud my mind as my tears soak into the fabric of my pillow. As the tears start to dry up I feel this sense of exhaustion creeping up on me, engulfing my head as darkness takes me into the eternal pit of slumber.
I see her face, I see her eyes, that terrible hatred burning in them, focusing all the hatred her small body could hold, focusing it all straight at me, trying with her might to burn me with the hatred she feels for me
*GASP* I wake with a start. A cold sweat on my head and my heart beating faster than a drumline beat
Thump Thump Th Thump
Thump Thump Th Thump
My vision slowly fills with red, a pain increasing in my chest to unbearable standards. I can't have another heart attack now. No. Slow breaths.. Breath in.. Breath out. In the nose, out the mouth just like I was taught. The tightness in my chest dissipates my heartbeat slowly returns to normal and the red slowly fades from my vision. I push myself back to sit against my wall and glance at my clock 4:49am. Time just happens to be going so slowly for me right now, that dream or should I say nightmare coupled with the events of last night have made my nights sleep terrible. 4 am and I feel like I have slept for 20 minutes.
Not wanting to go back to sleep I reach over the side of my bed. The stiffness in my joints showing how tense I am. I can't sleep with the possibility of that dream coming back, I don't want it to come back. I just need to stop thinking about it, I need to do something, I need to... I need to read
Picking up my book from the floor, I quickly glance at the cover 'Star Wars, an Omnibus' Opening up to where I left off, I allow myself to become entrenched in my book. my thoughts going to a stand still as I lose myself in a universe filled with jedis, mystical powers and lightsabers. As I reach the end of my latest chapter, I glance over at the clock, trying to see if anytime has passed since I was so rudely awoken before. 5:54 am - "Well, that's better than no time passing at all" I think to myself. Should probably go have a shower and get some breakfast into me before everyone else steals it from the cafeteria. I stand and make my way to the bathroom. grabbing my school uniform on the way out of my room
A warm shower hits my skin, I stand there like I'm caught under a small waterfall, the torrent of water washing away all the stale sweat accumulated from my nightmares, the good mood I was in while reading has now reverted back to my sour, depressed mood that tainted me as I made my back to my dorm last night.. last night.. how can I even deal with looking at Hanako now, she hates me, probably doesn't even want to see me or talk to me ever again.. Why does this seem like such a problem now? Did I really like her? More then friends? No I couldn't have, I've barely been here for 2 months, feelings don't develop that quickly.. Do they?
I dry off, get dressed and head back to my room to take my morning pills as these questions fill my mind, just as the sinking feeling of my exhaustion creeps over me,
"Probably should have tried to sleep some more last night" I think to myself as I unlock my bedroom door, the daunting sight of my pill bottles staring straight at me as i open the door is what i'm greeted by. their lifesaving blend of chemicals is what keeps me alive. I cringe as think of all the possibilities...
Making my way towards the main building that holds all the classrooms, I feel myself dreading the day. I slept but it feels like I have barely slept a wink. Today is going to be terrible.
It's almost time for class as I slide into the classroom. First here.. Great, more time by myself to sour my mood more. I hope Hanako doesn't come in today, I don't think i'd be able to handle that. After last.. What happened when i saw her last. I rest my head on my arms as I feel exhaustion creep up on me, even though i got some sleep last night, I feel like I barely got any sleep and have absolutely no energy to keep going. I start to feel myself drift off into a nap when the classroom door slams opens causing me to jump in my seat
"WAHAHA~" the usual high pitched voice that belongs to a certain pink haired girl screams out.
"Goooooood Morning Hicchan!" Misha yells in my direction from the doorway, I cringe as the pitch rings my eardrums.
"How are we this morning sleepyhead?" I hear Misha translating Shizune's hand gestures as she walks into the classroom
I give them the best death stare I can manage, but being as tired as I feel, the best I manage is a squint as a lay my head back down onto my arms.
"Are you okay Hicchan?" Misha asks as she sits down in the desk next to me.
Without moving my head or trying to talk I let out a loud
"Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Taking that as her cue not to press anymore, Misha turns to Shizune and starts signing about our conversation, maybe even something entirely different.
Turning back to me, Misha has a giant smile on her face
"Oh no.. she's not is she?" I think to my self as I turn my head in my arms to stare her in the eyes.
"Hicchan, at lunch today, you're going to be graciously given the chance to have lunch with two stunningly cute girls. We suggest you take them up on this offer" She finishes her statement with a wink and poking her tongue out at me. I stir myself enough to lift my head from my arms, but just as I'm about to politely decline her invite to have lunch with them, I hear the door open. Looking from Misha to the door, I'm hoping it's the one person that I don't want to see,
"What if it is her? What am i going to do then? I'll just have to act like i don't know her... Yeah.. I'll have to ignore her, she hates me, so she wouldn't want me to talk to her anyway" I think to myself as i watch for someone to walk into the classroom.
Luckily it isn't Hanako, Mutou walks into the room looking almost as tired as I am.Walking to his desk, he sits as we await the bell that will signal the start of the school day. Lowering my head back down to my arms, I start to allow myself to drift off to the land of dreams. As I get to the doorway to sleep, a gentle shaking arouse me from my part slumber
"Well, Hicchan? Are you going to have lunch with us or not?" Misha looks at my quizzically as she asks, clearly wanting to get an answer out of me before class starts. I feel myself starting to get angry, my face slowly becoming red. I open my mouth to speak, but as the words are about to come out
"BRRRRRIIIININGGGGG"
The bell rings and Mutou stands to greet the class, so I quick shut my mouth and look towards the front of the room to avoid drawing his attention.
Class passes and it feels like I've been there for over 6 hours. My thoughts are in the clouds and I can't focus on my work, When Mutou calls for us to work in groups for the next part of class, I feel my chest heave with a sigh... I know exactly whats going to happen here. I quickly glance over towards Hanako's desk and notice it still empty.. So she decided not to come today as well..
"So, Hicchan.. You going to have lunch with us or what? WE'd like to know, and it would be rude to stand up two cute girls like us" Misha says to me as we break to work as a group.
I furrow my brow as I try to think of a proper response.
"I don't think I will, not today anyway. I didn't sleep so well last night, so, I think I might go take a nap during lunch," I force a smile as I laugh internally at me trying to get some sleep. "Besides, I'm sure two cute ladies like yourselves would be fine without an extra lunch partner, especially one in a state like I'm currently in" I end my response with a quick nod as I try to get started on our classwork and hide my rising anger from my classmate.
"But Hicchannn" Misha whispers to me. Well, it's more like speaking normally, but for Misha, I'd say that it's a whisper.
"NO! FOR FUCKS SAKE MISHA!" Standing up from my desk as I scream at Misha. I see tears start to well up under her eyes. Shizune clearly understanding what transpired wraps one arm around Misha in an attempt to comfort her.
"Mhmm," I hear from the from of the front of the classroom "Are you quite alright Mister Nakai?" Mutou asks with a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
Looking around the classroom, I notice everyone staring at me. I can't take this. I feel tears in my eyes, my face is red with anger and my fists clenched like I'm about to go twelve rounds with Mike Tyson. Grabbing my bag, I slam the classroom door behind me as I make my way down the hall and out of the main building, heading towards the boys dorm.
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