Puppet Show (Rewrite in progress, explanation posted.)

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RidiculousLuke
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Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: Chapter Eight!]

Post by RidiculousLuke »

B-B-B-B-Back! Here are the first two parts for the finale of Act one!



Chapter Nine- The Festival Part 1

=============================================================

"Hey Taka, can I get the screws?"

"Get 'em yourself man."

"Tch." Guess I'm not building a stall then.

"Here Susu!" Kobayashi hands me a box of screws with a smile, I mutter a thanks and get to work.

It's almost time for the festival and we're spending the last day making sure everything's in order. I still have to hang this sign up...

Everyone's working hard, Takashi's setting the shelves up for our shooting range, Kobayashi's filling the tanks with water and Fukuhara is painting the banners.

Me? Oh, I'm doing the odd jobs here and there. Given my condition, I can't do anything heavy. But stuff like this I can do, I bang the final nail into the sign post and hoist it up, as I check to see if it's correctly balanced I notice something.

"Hey, there isn't any writing on this yet." I look at Fukuhara, who seems to be preoccupied with the rather large banner she's painting. Kobayashi walks away from her hose and speaks up.

"Fuku's a little busy with the main banner, can you do it?" I guess I could, don't know how good I'll be with a paintbrush though. I nod and After pushing a paint can over to my corner, I dip the brush and begin writing on the sign. Luckily, I have a good idea of what to put down.

"Kobayashi, what do you think?" I stand and examine my work.

"Let's see th- Oh! pfff." Good to see it got a laugh from someone, Fukuhara looks up from her work and notices my work and starts to giggle into her sleeve.

That's right, the sign for the 'Dump a Bakaguchi!' water feature is finished. I don't want him to see this yet so I decide to hide it somewhere until tomorrow. I lean against the main part of our stand and sigh, I think I could use a refresher.

"You guys want some drinks? I'll buy!" Everyone turns their heads and shouts out what they want, minus Fukuhara, who writes out a message. They all follow their orders with a thank you of some kind, I leave our construction site and look for a vending machine.

Although most of the stalls are already finished, they're still quite a lot of students finalizing everything, Making sure their stalls are all in pristine condition for tomorrow. I was right in the end, this festival really is a big deal. I'm glad we can be in it this year. I spot a vending machine and limp over to it, digging through my pockets I eventually start sliding coins into the machine and picking out the orders. While I'm doing this I don't notice someone sneaking up on me, the person wraps their arms around my shoulders and whispers into my ear.

"Guess who?"

Oh great. "Chiyoko."

"Yep! That's me!" She lets go and leans against a nearby wall, she's wearing our school sports uniform.

"What's with the get-up?" I say as one of the cans of soda drops out of the machine.

"Oh this? Well, the student council is required to help out with making sure everything is ready for the festival. So I ended up helping a few guys with putting up their stall." She's coated in sweat, must've been hard work.

I blush a little at the faint outline of a rather lacey pink bra that can be seen through her shirt.

"Huh, well it's a nice look for you. I didn't think you would do stuff like this to be honest." She giggles and leans in a little closer.

"There is a lot of things you don't know about me Kichirou." She gazes into my eyes, Yes there definitely is.

The last of the drinks pops out of the machine and I grab it, before I leave I decide I might as well do something for her.

"Hey, what do you want? I'll buy." She blushes and moves in to protest but I stop her and point at the options listed on the machine. She gives up and points out what she wants, I push the coin in and soon the drink drops out.

I hand it to Chiyoko and grab my drinks, good thing I brought this plastic bag. I wouldn't of been able to carry all this without it. I make sure I can walk before speaking.

"Well, I gotta get back to our stall. See you." I bow a little and begin limping off.

"Hey Kichirou! I'll see you at your stall tomorrow right?" She looks at me with excitement.

"Yeah, I'll be there." I wave with my stub and hop off as she smiles and takes a sip of her drink. Looks like I'm gonna have some trouble tomorrow after all.

Sighing, I finally reach our stall and call out. "Here are the drinks you guys!" Everyone sighs and drops what they were doing before walking up to me and taking their drinks from the bag. I sit down near our stall and open my drink. Someone sits next to me, it's Fukuhara, she opens her drink and takes a long sip. Sighing deeply, she leans her head against our wooden stand.

"Good work." I smile. She opens one eye and smiles awkwardly, She pulls out her notepad and writes down a quick message. "Thanks, I'm glad we can get this finished. I'm excited."

"Yeah me too." I return to my drink only to find it empty, I must've been thirstier than I thought. I drop the can and stare at the stalls around us. I hope we do well after all this, I'm a little worried no one is gonna show up to our stall. Fukuhara finishes her drink and begins writing a message.

"Hey Susumu. Thank you for asking Kyoko and me to help, It's been fun." I smile and nod.

"No problem, I just hope it works out." She writes out another message.

"I'm sure it will, I mean just look at how nice it is." She points to our handiwork, I sigh and nod. Yeah, we did well. I'm sure we can do well.

Takashi bellows and throws his can into a nearby bin, "Alright! Let's get this done!" We all cheer in our own way and get back to work. I look to Kobayashi, she's still drinking and leaning against a nearby tree. Our eyes meet and she rubs her arm and blushes, I look away as well and get back to work.

Once we've stored everything away for tomorrow, We all sigh happily and begin to walk towards the dorms.

"So, what are we doing for dinner?" Takashi speaks up.

"Hm, I dunno. Girls?" I look to the only two females of our little group.

"I know! Lets go into the town nearby. There's this ramen place I've been dying to try." I look at Takashi, he gives us the thumbs up.

"Sounds like a plan! Lets hustle!" Takashi cheers and begins walking out in front, I sigh and try to keep up with our group as we exit the school and begin climbing down the hill.


.....


"Yo! Let me get another helping over here!" The cook grins and begins unpacking more noodles. This is really quite the ramen joint, I never expected Kobayashi to choose a place like this. She stated that it felt like home since she and her family would often frequent places like this. Must be nice, having a family ritual like that. I never had anything like that.

I lean in my chair and take in my surroundings, it's just after sun down and here we are sitting in a ramen joint, eating some quality food while chatting about our day. We're also not the only ones here, A few business men and what look like locals are busily eating their noodles and talking amongst themselves. I hope we're not bothering them, being the only youngsters here.

The cook slides another bowl of ramen over to Takashi who thanks the man and begins digging in.

"Man, this place rocks! I am definitely coming back!" Takashi exclaims as he slurps up his noodles with joy.

"I'm glad you like it, good thing I remembered then" Kobayashi giggles.

After taking the time away from my food to thoroughly examine the activity to my left, I conclude that Takashi seems to be lost in his own world right now. A noodle based one. I laugh a little and return my eyes to the bowl in front of me, probably would be best to finish this up before it gets cold.

Takashi's officially burned through more than eight bowls of ramen now. Kobayashi and Fukuhara, like myself, have paced themselves well. It's nice to know that I'm not the freak of the group. even though I feel with the way I look, I could easily qualify for the position.

"Oi Kobayashi, Gimme your leftovers if you ain't gonna eat it!" Takashi exclaims, Kobayashi grabs her bowl protectively and frowns.

"You can't have any more! You've already eaten half the shop!"

"A mans stomach knows no bounds woman. Now, hand it over!" Takashi attempts to lean across the table to get at the leftovers, obviously not realising that I'm in the middle of all this. I manage to block all his advances and the cook arrives to take the bowl away, Takashi falls into his chair, defeated.

"Oh man, I wanted that..." He sinks into his chair sadly. I laugh and pull out my phone. Huh, we were here longer than I thought. I place my share of the bill on the table and grab my crutch.

"I'm gonna head back guys." Everyone simply nods.

"Alright Susu, we'll see you bright and early tomorrow right?"

"Yeah, I won't miss it." I smile and wave as I exit the ramen joint. The air outside is a little cool, so I button up my uniform and start making my way back to Yamaku. The trip is rather quiet given the time of day, a few street lamps light up the darkness as I move through the empty shopping district.

I soon hear footsteps coming from behind, I turn my head and notice Fukuhara walking to my side. She waves a little and starts walking at my pace.

"Heading back as well?" She nods. Due to the current environment, she can't exactly write out messages so we both just walk in silence. At some point she pulled out her phone and started typing on it, I wonder how many friends she has?

She finishes typing and shows me what she wrote on her phone, the light from the device blinds me temporally but I squint and read out the message.

"Hey, why don't we exchange email addresses? I'll forward yours to Kyoko later." She's asking me for my email? That's a new one, but she has a point. If we can all keep in contact, things will be easier.

"Okay, sure." I stop and pull out my own phone, after I receive Fukuhara's email address and she receives mine, We both start climbing up the hill. Silence, once again, ends up being the most noticeable guest.

Even in the dark I can still see Fukuhara's earring. It reflects off the moonlight rather well, I still find it hard to look away. I end up getting too distracted by it and don't realise the hole in front of me, my crutch gets caught in it and I fall. Fukuhara gasps as I hit the floor, great. Just what I needed tonight, a bruise. Before I can react, Fukuhara has already grabbed a hold of me and is trying to help me up. I blush as I feel her breath in my ear and her arms holding onto my shoulders firmly, her hands are small but have plenty of power behind them.

I'm in a stupor as she helps me to my feet and looks at me with concern. I quickly move to address her, "I'm alright, I fall pretty often." She keeps looking at me seriously, even as we get back to walking, she hasn't let go of me yet. I start to feel uncomfortable and push Fukuhara off rather harshly.

"I'm fine!" I instantly regret my outburst as she looks to the floor and rubs her hands.

"L-look, I'm sorry. I just don't like people helping me like that..." She nods a little and all I can do is frown. Great, why did I do that? She's a friend dammit. The rest of the climb up to Yamaku is done in silence, Fukuhara even stopped walking next to me for the rest of the journey.

The gates come into view, once we reach them we push through and enter the school grounds. The campus is completely empty right now, all that can be heard is the sound of the crickets chirping and a few birds calling in the distance.

It's peaceful at night.

After climbing up the steps to the dorms, we both stop outside and look at each other.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow? And hey, I'm really sorry about that back there." I look to the floor.

"I'm such an idiot." I feel a hand on my shoulder, Fukuhara smiles and shakes her head. The look in her eye is one of understanding. She seems to be concentrating now on something below me, I follow her gaze. What's she looking at?

"..."

"... b,"

"... Bye."

Fukuhara lets go of my shoulder and rushes towards the dorms, I'm left standing outside, my mind still trying to process what just happened.

... I shouldn't stand out here for much longer, I limp into the boys dormitory and enter my room.

Changing into my pajamas and placing my crutch down on the floor, I set my alarm for tomorrow. I have to get up early after all.

As my head hits my pillow, I stare at the ceiling. Images from today rush through my mind, never once focusing on one thing. I need to sleep but I can't help but be a little excited about tomorrow.

...

... If only my past self could see me right now, he'd probably laugh in my face. Then he would most likely tell me to give up.

...

No. I'm not that person anymore, I've made up my mind already.

I will change things.

My eyes finally close and I drift off to sleep.
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Last edited by RidiculousLuke on Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." - Hunter S. Thompson
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RidiculousLuke
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: Chapter Eight!]

Post by RidiculousLuke »

Chapter Ten- The Festival Part 2

=============================================================



"So, do you have any friends?"

"..."

"No."

"Why not?"

"..."

"A kid your age must have someone they hang out with?"

"..."

"Really? Nobody?"

"Hahah! What a joke!"

"..."




===========================================================


No, not now.

I want to sleep some more... Try as I might, my alarm clock's not giving up. I throw my arm out from my covers in search of the offending object. Upon finding it, I throttle it until I realise that doing so will not stop the ringing. Eventually I find the button and stop its screeching.

when I sit up and examine the numbers glowing off it, I feel my brain jump into gear.

Crap. I'm late! I toss off my covers in a panic and lunge out of my bed. I, of course, now forget that I only have one leg as I instantly lose balance and plummet to the ground.

Now this is how you start a morning. On the floor, and needing to actually be somewhere...

Groaning, I lift myself up and reach for my crutch. Once I'm up, I quickly look for my uniform. Wait, will anyone notice if I don't shower?

...

Yes they will notice. Shit. I make a crippled dash out of my room and into the dormitory's showers. I wash myself at a panicked pace, I very nearly slip on my sponge in the process. Catching myself before I fall, I decide to slow down.

The last thing I need or in fact, the world needs, is some dumb disabled teenager found dead in the showers after slipping on an item that he placed and knew fully well that it was there the whole time.

Still in a panic, I hop half naked into my room and hit my bed. Slipping into my pants and the tying the right pant leg into a knot which I hope, is secure enough, I also begin to hastily button my shirt. Swearing under my breath the few times I mess it up.

Maybe Mother should've really taught me how to do this...

Shut up, it is way too early for that crap. Anyway, should I wear the tie? Dammit. Is it mandatory that I wear it?

I'm feeling the rush, so I end up shoving the tie into my pocket. I grab my phone and leap out of my room at the fastest pace I can manage, which is a bit like a drunk business man trying to outrun a charity collector.

Wait, isn't that actually quite fast? Screw it, I'm out of the dorms now. The early morning air chills my skin and most of my insides as I limp rapidly to our stall.

I can't believe I actually forgot where the stall I spent all day yesterday working on is... Wait! There it is.

"Sorry I'm la-"

... You have got to be shitting me. I'm... The f-first one here?

My only leg fails me and I fall head first onto the stalls counter top.

I'll be fine right here... Just fine.


.....


"Is he okay?"

"I think so, let's check. Hand me one of those things."

"You're gross Yamaguchi!"

"Please, this is necessary."

Who's kissing my cheek right now? Not that I don't appreciate it but who?

Opening one eye, the first thing I see is a great expanse of wood. Oh yeah, I passed out on the counter top of our stall.

Anyway, what about the kissing. I turn my head and come face to face with the culprit, two huge inhuman eyes stare blankly at me. The creatures face shivers every so often, occasionally its lips pucker and open and close at random intervals.

"What the hell!" I fall off the counter, I hear laughter. The mastermind behind this stands above me with a goldfish in his hand, I try to bring Takashi down with me but he manages to slip out of my grasp.

"Dammit Taka! Why would you do that?" I sit up and look around for my crutch.

"Dunno, funny I guess?" He chortles and places the goldfish back with the others.

"Are you alright Susu?" Kobayashi's here as well, she extends her hand which I take. She lets go and I grab the counter top for support. I spot my crutch and pick it up.

"Why are you here so early man?"

I want to protest but when I see the other students around me, I hold my tongue. So I was a bit early in my arrival this morning. Great, I could've slept in some more.

"Well anyway, lets set up shall we?" Kobayashi pumps her fists in the air as she says this. Takashi and I start unpacking and setting up all the things for our stall.

"Where's Fukuhara?" I ask Kobayashi as I attempt to balance a set of cups.

"I'm not sure, but I'm sure she'll be here soon."

"Hope so. Because we need help with the main banner." I point to the large piece of material crumpled up in the corner.

Guess we'll have to leave it for last. I finish setting up our shooting range, afterwards I check to see that the goldfish are all in their tank. I lean down a little and look them over, I must be crazy but I think the one Takashi used is staring at me.

I already have one person who kinda stalks me so no thanks. I limp over to my personal favorite attraction, The 'Dump a Bakaguchi!' water tank. I haven't put the sign up yet, Takashi thinks this one doesn't even have a sign but boy, is he wrong. I'll put it up later once he's in there.

"Alright, everything looks good. Guys?" I look to the others, Takashi finishes hanging up the prizes and Kobayashi puts the last of the goldfish into the water tank.

"Everything's here! Just need to put up our banner." Takashi eyes our main banner seriously.

"Where is Fuku? I'll give her a text but..."

"Look, I'll go to the female dorm and get her. What's her room number?" Kobayashi stares at me oddly, but she gives up and tells me the number.

"We don't have the time to wait for her, I'm going." Kobayashi sighs and nods. I wave goodbye to the two of them and start moving from the stall.

Once I'm up the steps, I stop outside the female dorms. Now, I believe it's not against the rules for boys to enter this place, we can't enter at night or anything like that of course. I'm a bit hesitant but I need to call her, I push open the doors and step inside.

After I locate the elevators, I can't help but notice the girly aroma in the air here. Well, girls do live here after all. As I step into the elevator, I realise I made a good decision. Imagine if Takashi went instead of me...

I reach the third floor without any hassles and begin walking down the hallway. I hope Chiyoko doesn't pop up out of nowhere while I'm here, I want to avoid her for now.

... But she might've invited me to her room...

No! That wouldn't happen! ... Or would it? No! Stop! Stop! Stop!

... Dorm room 316, I wrap my knuckles on the door and give it a few light taps. I'm almost a little worried since there is no answer at first but soon the door flys open, revealing Fukuhara.

She's dressed in what seems like pajamas, her hair is very messy. That trademark bowl cut of hers has been reduced to a wild bush.

"Morning." I smile.

"..."

She nods a little and looks at the floor, I notice her phone lighting up the darkness of the room behind her.

"So, uh, we need your help. We're running out of time for the festival." I scratch the back of my head and blush as I notice her midriff poking out of her pajama top.

Fukuhara seems to now only notice my presence as realization lights up her face, she abruptly shuts her door. I think she's getting ready now.

"Ok, well. We'll see you out there!" I shout, hoping she heard that as I start limping back down the hall and out of the girls dorm.

My exit from the dorm earns me a few suspicious glances, I keep my head down as I rush back to the festival stall.

As I arrive, Takashi and Kobayashi look at me for answers. I don't blame them, lights are starting to come on and everyone else seems to be finished setting up.

"I talked to her. She's coming, I think." Kobayashi laughs and Takashi just shakes his head side to side as he gives the stall one last once over.

"We just need one thing now. Let me just grab it so long." He walks over and drags our banner out and lets it rest at our feet.

Kobayashi notices movement to our left and starts waving like crazy, Takashi and I turn our heads. Fukuhara has arrived, her hair's in a much nicer state then it was when I saw her.

"Hey, good to see you." She blushes at my gaze before Kobayashi wraps her in a tight hug.

"Fuku! Let's get this done!" Fukuhara nods and we all start to raise the banner above our stall.

It takes some time but eventually we manage to get it perfectly straight. We all sigh and take a step back, admiring our work as a team.

I laugh at the title for our stall, it's perfect.

"... 'The Yamaku Funhouse'."

"'Come one, come all! Let the cripples of Yamaku show you how to have fun.'"

I look at Takashi with embarrassment, "You don't think that line at the end will scare people off?"

"Nah man, people love crap like that. It'll make them feel all sentimental and stuff." I hope he's right.

Everyone takes their places, Kobayashi by the fish tank, me and Fukuhara at the main stand, and Takashi above the dunking water tank. I better hang that thing up while he isn't looking, I sneak past Takashi and put the sign I worked on up. I quickly return to my spot, Fukuhara and Kobayashi laughing all the while. I wink at them both and relax into my chair.

"Here goes nothing I guess."


.....


How am I not surprised, The festival's in full swing but no one's even approached our stall yet...

Hope however, shows up in the form of a young boy and his parents. I notice the boy staring intently at the 'Dump a Bakaguchi!' attraction with the eyes of a warrior. Perfect.

I speak up, "How about it young man? What to see if you can sink the dreaded Bakaguchi?"

Takashi seems to have been awoken from his little nap. "Wait, what did you call me?"

"How about it buddy?" The boy looks to his parents, they both seem to like the idea so they hand the boy some money and he comes running up to the counter. I take the cash and hand the boy four balls, the original amount of balls is three but I decided to add another one for kicks. The boy walks up to Takashi and takes aim.

"C'mon kid. Gimme your best shot!" Takashi taunts the child, the boy tilts the ball in his hand back and throws. It misses and grazes the side of the water tank.

"Hah! What a lame shot! Try again." The parents are looking at Takashi and me angrily. I just place my face in my hand. Please kid, dunk that idiot.

Two balls later and Takashi has still not fallen in the drink. He's also thrown several small insults at the kid, the poor guy looks about ready to cry.

"Yamaguchi! Stop saying stuff like that! You're gonna make him cry!" Kobayashi shouts from her spot. Takashi just rolls his eyes and continues to laugh at the boy. I can feel the parents starting to approach me, here we go. I'm gonna get reported.

"You'll never be able to do it kid. You don't have the power!" That last comment seemed to hit the boy hard, his face is showered in anger as he picks up the last ball. Somethings different now, I can feel the overwhelming fighting spirit coming from him.

I lean foward in my chair, now I'm excited. The boy pulls back and I swear I hear the air around him crackle as he throws the ball. Holy shit, that was like a pitch from a professional baseball player. My eyes only barely manage to catch up to the ball as it smacks into the water tank. Takashi grips his chair at the force being thrust upon him, the ball spins and flys into the distance, he hit the bullseye!

The lever is pulled and Takashi falls into the water below, the boy cheers and rushes to his parents. He hugs them both with tears in his eyes and then walks over to the counter.

"Well done buddy! Pick anything you want from the selection." I point at the prizes hanging from the shelf behind me.

The boy asks for the giant lobster toy we have, I'm about to call for Fukuhara to get it but she's isn't here. What the hell?

Forget it. I stand up and grab the toy and hand it to the boy with a smile. Before he leaves I give him a thumbs up and a wink, the boy grins and runs back to his parents happily. They walk off and I lean forward and sigh.

Good thing that worked out. I was losing hope back there. Feeling sorry for him, I glance at Takashi to make sure he hasn't drowned. He's already climbed out of the tank, he's completely soaked. I laugh as he just walks off in embarrassment. Serves you right pal.

At some point Kobayashi walked off as well, why do our girls keep disappearing? Alright well whatever. They just better come back.

I man the stall as best I can, which is a joke considering that boy and his family were our first customers for today. And they will probably be our only customers...

I'm little sad we haven't done too well but I don't feel all that bad. Just having worked on this stall is enough for me.

"Hey, I saw that shit you wrote on the sign over there you ass!" Takashi emerges from behind the stall, he ditched his wet uniform and changed into some slacks and a tank top.

I laugh and shake my head, "Come on, learn to take a joke."

He shakes his head and sits next to me.

"Got to say though," I look up at him, "We sure are popular!"

We both chuckle at the sarcasm, "It doesn't matter man, at least we did something this year." Takashi nods and leans over the counter.

"The 'Dump a Bakaguchi!' isn't a once off attraction Taka." Takashi looks at me and falls out of his chair.

"You've got to be kidding me! I don't want to go back in there!" He shakes his hands in the air. I laugh and check the time on my phone.

"Excuse me..." I look up, a man in a jean jacket and suit pants stands before us, Takashi jumps up and hastily sits back in his chair.

"I'm looking for my daughter, Kyoko. Have you seen her anywhere?"

"Kyoko... Kobayashi Kyoko?" Takashi questions. The man nods and places his hands on the counter top.

"You know her!" The man smiles and looks at us expectantly.

"Yeah. She uh, helped with this stall actually." I smile.

"Really? That's great! Listen, if you see her please bring her to me. I need to see her." He laughs and scratches his beard.

The man walks off but I stop him, "Sir, I was just going on break," I can already feel Takashi staring at me with hatred," I'll go find her for you."

The man smiles and awkwardly scratches his face, "Are you sure? I don't want to be any trouble!" I shake my head and stand.

"It's alright sir, I'll go find her for you." I smile and begin limping away from the stall. The man bows deeply as I leave, I also notice Takashi face plant on the counter top.

Sorry buddy, but I want to see the festival before it's over.

I laugh a little as I start making my way through the school grounds in search of a girl named Kyoko.



Part 3 and 4 coming soon!
Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." - Hunter S. Thompson
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Mirage_GSM
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Location: Germany

Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by Mirage_GSM »

A few comments on the story:
You know every time I read a story about some character eating impossible amounts of food, I'm reminded of some Anime series. The problem is you're trying to write a more or less realistic story. Your characters are neither sayan nor made of rubber nor petite, hotheaded sorceresses, so this kind of thing really hurts immersion...
Why is he late to the festival if he gets up when his alarm rings? Did he set it for the wrong time?
Hmm... Strange that both girls went of without saying anything... I assume we will learn the reason in the next chapter :-)

And one on the grammar:
I wouldn't of have been able to carry all this without it.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
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RidiculousLuke
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Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by RidiculousLuke »

You know every time I read a story about some character eating impossible amounts of food, I'm reminded of some Anime series. The problem is you're trying to write a more or less realistic story. Your characters are neither sayan nor made of rubber nor petite, hotheaded sorceresses, so this kind of thing really hurts immersion...
I'm a big fan of certain rubber boy myself :D

Anyway, about this whole Fukuhara appetite thing. I, at first thought that it would be a sort of cute thing to put in as part of her character. I even envisioned scenes with her eating a ton and everyone being like, "Man girl! You crazy..." or something like that.

But in hindsight, I realised that it's actually kind of stupid... I'm going to edit out that entire section of story about her eating thing. I completely agree, it definitely ruins the immersion and you're right Mirage. I do want to write a sort of realistic story. I need to avoid things like this in the future :)

I hate to do this, removing a part of a chapter that I already posted, but I feel it's a good way to learn from a mistake.

I apologize for this immersion breaker! :(
Why is he late to the festival if he gets up when his alarm rings? Did he set it for the wrong time?
I failed this pretty hard. I have this habit of assuming that people already know what is going on in a scene, which is a massive screw up on my part. I don't take the time out to set a scene or explain things. It's something that I finally noticed and feel incredibly embarrassed about :( I'm going to really focus on stuff like that from now on.

Now, about the alarm thing. My idea was that Kichirou sets his alarm at a time that he considers right. (REALLY should've explained this better. Feel like such an ass) And later realises that he set it way too early, that's the joke I think I made... Heh >.>
Hmm... Strange that both girls went of without saying anything... I assume we will learn the reason in the next chapter :-)
Yes! Explanations for the girls disappearances are coming :)



And to end this off!
And one on the grammar:
DAMMIT! THEIR IS ALWAYS THAT ONE THING!!! XD
Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." - Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by Silentcook »

RidiculousLuke wrote:DAMMIT! THEIR IS ALWAYS THAT ONE THING!!! XD
Ironic, hopefully?
Shattering your dreams since '94. I also fought COVID in '20 and '21, and all I got was this lousy forum sig.

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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by RidiculousLuke »

Ironic, hopefully?
Talking about a mistake with a mistake... Good one Luke >.>
Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." - Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Now I'm liking Fuku even more. She's adorable in this update. :P
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by HoneyBakedHam »

I hope Chiyoko finds him at the festival first. She's my favorite so far and we all know she's the coolest out of the the new girls. (Not a request, just picking my team)

Strangely enough, haven't heard of any Kobayashi fans yet...
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

HoneyBakedHam wrote:I hope Chiyoko finds him at the festival first. She's my favorite so far and we all know she's the coolest out of the the new girls. (Not a request, just picking my team)
I like her too, I just assumed she was out of the running since Suso seems to not even be considering her at this point. That said, he's admitted she's attractive, so it's not impossible.
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [UPDATED: The Festival! Part 1 an

Post by HoneyBakedHam »

I think it's because of how forward she is. Maybe he isn't into women that are aggressive, but I can see her tearing up to him the more and more he avoids her advances towards him.

Personally, I like how upfront she is without coming across as a total bitch. Wish we had a girl like that in the original group in KS.
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [Big Update Coming!]

Post by RidiculousLuke »

New chapter will be here soon :)

Along with some updated character art and some character bios. It's pretty easy to get lost, what with all the OC's here :P

Later on.
Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [Big Update Coming!]

Post by RidiculousLuke »

The front page has been updated! Check it out!

It took way longer than I wanted but here ya go!


Chapter Eleven- The Festival Part 3

=============================================================


"Dude! Kichi! How you doing man?"

"..."

"Kichi man. Hey, so uh, how's life in bed treating you?"

"Must be sweet huh? No homework, you can do whatever you want..."

"..."

"So listen to this right, Makoto finally got the balls to ask Kayo the other day."

"..."

"Man! You should've seen how fast she turned him down!"

"It was crazy!"

"..."

"Heh..."

"..."

"Guys, c'mon."

"Eh?"

"Let's leave this cripple."

"Aki? Where are yo-"

"..."

"Um... Well! I g-guess we'll see you later man."

"H-hang in there ok?"

"..."

=============================================================

Stepping away from our stall I enter the school grounds. Before I can even move my crutch however, I am nearly knocked over by the masses wandering around.

So, this is where all the action is. Makes sense now that I think about it, why get lost in some random corner of the school when you can just stay here in the thick of it.

Note to self: Make sure to book a better spot for a stall next year...

Anyway, it's almost lunchtime and the festival is definitely in full swing. Even with the heat of the afternoon sun blaring down on them, everyone seems to be too preoccupied to notice. Can't blame them really, the smell of food in the air is also knocking my focus around.

The people here are pretty diverse. From the elderly couple who have probably been to events like this several times in the past. To the kids running around laughing and screaming. And the younger couples, walking hand in hand with smiles stamped to their faces.

Among these fine folks however, stands a rather unique group.

The Yamaku student body. Once again proving that they're a whole lot more durable than people think. Seriously, I sometimes wonder how the school manages to convince some of these guys to work. I mean that guy over there is in a wheelchair.

I think he's blind as well. Is he enjoying himself? Is he miserable? I'll never know.

Funny, the students here kinda look like circus attractions during this event...

Heh, come one, come all! Feast your eyes on the disabled of Yamaku! Do not be alarmed for they do not bite, much.

While chuckling to myself stupidly I almost don't notice the special clearance I've been given in the crowd. Many might say that my condition is amazing for the fact that I can basically make a path for myself wherever I go but at times, I hate that this happens. I know people are just being polite or whatever the emotion is, but they do it so often that it gets on my nerves.

Oh, how I wish the days of walking through the busy city streets would come back. The days when I would nearly be trampled if I didn't move with the crowd...

... Who am I kidding, I don't miss that crap.

Now that I'm somewhat in the crowd though, I remember why I'm out here again.

The girls. They both pretty much vanished for some reason. I need to find them, if I don't our stall's only gonna have one person to man it. I shudder at the thought of Takashi being left to fend for himself. if he gets into trouble, I'm gone. I like the guy but I am not going down with him.

...

Now, if I was a girl in a festival... Where would I go? I mean, this place is packed full of things that were built to entertain. So it maybe won't be so hard to find at least one of them.

... Try as I might, I can't see that long blueish ponytail or a fairly distinctive bowl hair cut anywhere. I need to widen my search obviously, I think only checking food stands isn't going to help me.

But then again, the people slinging the food around here might know the whereabouts of the girls. And anyway, I'm pretty much starving at this point. This find and recover thing is rather tiring work.

I take my place in line, after checking my options I decided to settle on an old favorite of mine, Shioyaki. An odd choice people might say but I've always loved it. Back in middle school, I was the only one out of my group of friends who ate the stuff. I think I was teased for it being 'old timer' food.

Naive fools, they don't know what they are missing. The couple in front of me steps out and I lurch forward, unlike the startled reception I would probably get in a city, the student manning the stall merely nods while prodding away at the grill.

I lean elbow first onto my crutch for support and dig around for my wallet, seizing money from its clutches I place it down on the counter. It takes a few seconds before the guy grabs my cash and hands it to the person behind him. He quickly plucks the Shioyaki from the grill and hands it to me, and in that exact moment, I realise that I messed up...

How am I gonna carry it? I only have one hand, and its job is to keep me upright. Better think fast here.

I take action by tucking my crutch under my arm and grabbing my order before hobbling off. This plan of mine has some holes in it as I seem to be losing my balance, I don't often practise hopping without my crutch.

Shit, I flick my head around desperately in search of something to hold.

There, that tree over there! It'll do. I make a mad dash towards my life saver, wrapping my arm around its bark roughly. Funny, the whole time I was flailing around back there, I must've looked like some kind of balancing act. I don't think anyone noticed...

Well, maybe not back there but definitely right now since I am pretty much hanging off this tree like a chimp with a fish stick in his hand.

Regardless of everything that's happened, I can finally enjoy my salty snack in relative silence.

...

"Hehe..."

The silence isn't definite. I'm not alone anymore.

I glance to my left, only to find it empty. Whoever that was is no longer here.

Or so I thought, in the exact moment I am about to turn around I feel a pair of hands block my vision. The perpetrator has very soft skin and her hands are fairly small, I can still see a little out of the partings of her fingers.

I tried but she found me in the end. "Guess who!"

"I-Iwas-" I cut myself off, "Chiyoko, Hello." The hands are removed from my eyes and I turn to face the culprit.

Her hands now by her sides, Chiyoko gives me a toothy grin. The sun reflects off her cheeks, making her freckles all the more noticeable.

"How's your day been? Are you enjoying the festival?" She seems eager to hear my answer. The way her eyes are pinned to mine makes me flinch and stutter slightly.

"Oh, y-you know. Not too bad." I've never been good with girls this straightforward, I mustn't show weakness now.

Chiyoko smiles and looks around while I remember that I still have my fish dangling from my mouth, I chew away as she sighs. Her eyes close slightly as she takes in everything around us.

"We really did it this year. Everyone seems to be having fun." She giggles happily and her gaze falls upon a group of children nearby talking excitedly amongst themselves about who got the bigger goldfish.

I smile and finish off my snack, goodbye fishy friend. You will be missed but not forgotten.

"I thought we would mess up but the student council pulled through!" Chiyoko pumps a fist in the air. I nod while grabbing the stick in my mouth and pulling it out, inspecting the leftovers of my meal I remember something I've always meant to ask this girl.

"Hey, so you're part of the student council right?" She nods and looks at me expectantly, "I know Nakajima's vice pres or something but where do you fit in?" I realise now that might of sounded a little harsh but she just smiles and runs a hand over her hair band gently.

"Yeah, I'm a member." She smirks, "But I hope I'll get to be vice once the current president graduates and Nakajima becomes the new head." Ah, a change in command kinda thing. I almost forgot how political a thing like student council can get.

Silence fills the corners around us, Chiyoko takes the chance and leans against the tree with me. She isn't exactly at a arms length here but she is quite close. I feel a cold sweat run down my back as I pull out my phone and begin to nervously look through my calendar randomly.

Such a strange motion, pretending to look through your phone while trying to act casually. I don't do this kind of thing often, I promise. Chiyoko seems to be oblivious to my nervousness as she leans in and looks over my phone.

A light perfume tingles and knocks at my nose, begging to be let in. The smell of strawberries quickly overwhelms me, I feel a little lightheaded honestly.

"Funny how time flies huh?" She giggles and leans back, running a lone hand across the bark of the tree. She occasionally 'accidentally' brushes her fingers against my arm.

"Y-yeah." I mutter, she's right. I need to get going, if I don't I'll never find the girls.

Detaching myself from the tree I slowly start to inch away, hoping the stench from the fish I had earlier scares her off.

It is of course, not the worlds strongest tranquilizer since she picks up on my attempted departure rather quickly.

"Whatcha' doing?" She asks while eyeing me shyly, dammit my one weakness. My escape plan grinds to a halt as I try to think of a response.

"I, uh, I g-gotta go." I try to look elsewhere, "I was out here to find Fukuhara and Kobayashi before the festival ends." I say while scratching the back of my neck with my stub. I hope I can slip out of this relatively unscathed.

Chiyoko visibly frowns at the names but her usual bubbly smile returns quickly as she nods to herself. "Oh yeah? I'll help out then!"

Before I can even react, Chiyoko grabs a hold of my left arm. She press her body close to mine and makes sure her grip is tight.

Couples only walk like this woman... I want to voice a complaint but the sensation from her chest pushing against me drowns it out instantly.

I decide it would be best to accept my fate however, I need to address an obstacle we currently face, "Hey, uh, Chiyoko?"

The blonde girl currently clinging to my left looks me in the eyes softly, "Yes Kichirou?"

Don't look at me like that ugh... I don't think I'll ever get used to my name being said that often. My eyes turn to my leg stub, Chiyoko follows my gaze as I speak up.

"You do know that I can't move all that well or fast like this right?" I shake my dead leg for emphasis.

She responds by hugging my arm tighter, "I know you can't move that fast, silly!"

... Was that an insu-

"But! It doesn't matter! It's better like this, don't you think?" The following question packs a serious punch to my senses and it doesn't even get an answer in the end.

This isn't good, if she keeps squeezing me like this I'm gonna pop.

I feel my face increase in temperature while my mouth starts moving, "I guess it r-really doesn't matter." Well, I'm screwed now.

Chiyoko giggles, "Let's get going! We need to find those friends of yours." She states happily as she begins walking, she's practically dragging me away now.

Despite what I might think, having someone else to help me search will help. This current arrangement isn't all that unpleasant so...

I swear though, if she decides to deliberately drag me around the festival and keep me from finding the girls...


=====


I freakin' knew it! This isn't part of the plan.

A frown finds its way to my face as I stare at the culprit. She seems to be having a great time, happily munching away at her candy apple like that.

And you know what the most insulting thing is? I didn't get one.

Chiyoko glances shyly at me before looking at her little treat with some kind of new perspective. A few seconds later she very nearly shoves the apple up my nose.

"Here!" I stare at the delicious object and then at her.

"What?" She gives me a cheeky grin and also begins moving the treat up and down in her hand, as if trying to taunt me.

Chiyoko pouts and squeaks, "Have a bite! I'll hold it." She's only j-joking right?

"Uh..." No further indecision comes out of me as she shoves the apple in my face. Good thing she at least hit the right target. The treat makes itself comfortable, however I feel a new sensation on my uniform, a wet one. The sugary coating must've started melting at some point. Damn it will this wash out?

"Go on! Have a bite." She's insistent on this isn't she... Well, might as well.

I struggle at first but I eventually manage to get a respectable bite out of it. The taste overwhelms me and I end up storing the piece in my cheek, an act that I don't think my partner likes very much.

Better swallow it Kichirou.

Not sure what stopped me there. For some reason that mouthful was strangely sweeter than I thought it would be.

"How was it?" She asks with a smile before chewing on the apple again.

"N-not bad." I sputter out while checking my shirt, I'm gonna have to wear this for the rest of the day aren't I? Sighing, I let my eyes wander the stalls around us.

The lunchtime rush ended a while ago, A few stalls are still cooking but some have already started packing up. Another thing I notice is that the crowd has shrunk considerably since I last checked, I guess it's time for the students with family visiting to give a personalised tour of Yamaku.

I spot the school dorms in the distance, I was right. Still it's something I never understood, why would you want to show your parents your dorm room? What could you possibly show them? Your sock drawer?

Running my stub through my hair roughly, I turn my gaze back to girl at my side. She's made decent progress on her little treat, she hums happily after every bite she takes. The way the sugar glistens off her lips makes me blush a little, well at least she isn't doing anything suggestive with it...

... Don't give her ideas Kichirou. Chiyoko notices me staring, a dainty smirk and wink is all I get in return. This is awkward...

I look around for something to distract me, what I find is enough to stop me in my tracks. Wait, is tha-

My leg thinks ahead of me as I start limping over to the familiar head of hair, I leave Chiyoko behind and approach the tiny figure.

My presence is enough for the girl to turn around, What I'm met with is not Fukuhara. Instead, it's a young girl probably no older than thirteen with two twin-tails.

Well this is embarrassing. The only reason I walked over was because I swore it was her, I guess using hair colour to find someone isn't very useful. I feel a small hand poke me in my stomach.

"What's that?" The girl asks while poking the reddish marks on my shirt. Dammit, it is noticeable...

"The remnants of a candy apple." I say while looking the girl over, she's dressed in a casual yellow shirt with some shorts to match. Attire perfect for this heat.

The more I look at her, the more I'm confused. She looks a lot like Fukuhara now that I think about. "Gross!" The girl giggles and gives me one last poke before standing. "Hey, do you have any money on you?" The girl asks, her face hardening and her gaze turning vicious.

"Wha-" I step back, why do I feel like I'm talking to some gangster now? She's just a kid.

She holds out her hand and looks to me expectantly, "I want some cotton candy! I didn't bring any money with me. Give me yours!" I wonder if this kid has thought about getting into organised crime because I can feel a shiver running down my spine as she glares at me.

I fumble around in my pocket and pull out a few coins, "T-This is all I've got on me right now." I drop the coins into her outstretched hand, her glare vanishes and is replaced by a broad grin as she runs off.

...

Kids these days... Wait! Did I just give her the only money I had left on me?! What the hell! The little girl's standing at a stall nearby, a female student hands the girl a bag of cotton candy and gives her a pat on the head.

Little brat, she totally just robbed me! Although I did give it to her willingly...

The girl walks up to me and tears open her treat, clawing out big handfuls of pure sugar before looking up at me. "Thanks a lot mister!" She smiles and devours her cotton candy at an incredible pace.

Try as I might I can't be angry at this little girl. Which is probably what she wants.

Oh she's good...

"Kichirou! There you are!" Chiyoko walks up to me, she's licking her fingers while looking at me. Normally I would think something like that is gross but Chiyoko makes it look oddly... arousing.

Crap! No! Stop.

...

"Hey." I say while I watch the little girl before us pile-drive her way through her treat with no remorse.

"Oh, hello there! What's your name?" Chiyoko kneels down and looks at the little girl with a smile. The girl finally looks up and smiles, cotton candy splayed across her face messily.

"Haruki!" the girl exclaims before shoving a candy coated hand into her mouth again. Chiyoko mutters an 'aww' before looking to me, "Isn't she just adorable Kichirou?"

I can't bring myself to say anything as I notice the girl looking at me with that glare again. I feel sweat dripping down my forehead as I look away and scratch my head nervously.

"Yeah, I guess." Chiyoko stands up and huffs, "What's that supposed to mean?" Whoops, I'm screwed...

"Hey, where's your leg?" The little girl asks with a grin. Chiyoko looks a bit shocked but I speak up quickly.

"I lost it." I state flatly.

"Where is it then?" The girl asks innocently.

How do I answer that one? Probably in a hospital bin somewhere? I dunno.

Before the little girl can question my lack of limbs further, a feminine voice calls out from behind us.

"Haru, what are you doing?" A girl with short black hair that ends perfectly around her jawline appears before us. Whoa, she's smoking hot. These two must be related, sisters maybe?

The girl with glasses scans Chiyoko and me hard before looking to the little girl. "So this is where you've been. Don't tell me your causing trouble for these people?"

The little girl shakes her head, "Nope! I've been good!" you little liar, you swindled me out of my money earlier...

"I'm sorry if she's bothered you two." The older girl bows gracefully as Chiyoko shakes her head rapidly.

"Oh no! She hasn't bothered us in the slightest. Right Kichirou?" Chiyoko nudges my arm, causing me to almost jump out of my skin.

"Y-Yeah, no problem at all." I murmur.

After the older girl bows to us, I take the chance to look her over. What I missed when I first saw her were the cute little glasses resting on her nose, they really frame her face well. As for her outfit, it is the weirdest thing. She doesn't strike me as someone who would wear such formal clothing, It's not a suit but it might as well be. Looks like something a secretary would wear to work honestly.

With the cotton candy long since eaten, the little girl takes her place next to the spectacled girl. "Now if only we could find the others..." the older girl says with a sigh.

Others?

"Oh! Harumi!" The little girl jumps up and down. I turn around to see what's going on.

"Hello! how on earth did we get split up like that?" The voice is strangely alluring and it belongs to another girl. Just when I thought the other girl was pretty, this one is a complete bombshell.

Her hair cascades down her shoulders, it's also black in colour. Her figure is voluptuous and her features are sharp and soft all at the same time, this girl looks like a model you would see in one of those magazines Takashi reads. Not that I know what those mags are like... Because I've n-never read them.

Anyway, her outfit seems like something a model would wear, I can't really describe it honestly. I've never been one for fashion but let's just say it reveals way more than it should.

She looks me over briefly before walking up to the other girls, now that they're all standing side by side I finally see it.

So I was right, they are sisters, same hair colour, similar features, the works. The fashionable one runs a hand through her hair while pouting, "Wait, where's Hiromi gone?"

"I thought she was with you?" The girl with glasses speaks up, frowning slightly and gazing into the distance.

Wait, 'Hiromi'? Of course... It makes sen-

"There she is!" Where did you go?" Sure enough there she is, It's Fukuhara. She runs over to us with a drink can in her hand.

She holds it out to the long haired beauty. A look of confusion on the girl face as she takes the can from Fukuhara.

"What's this?" Fukuhara digs around for her notepad and starts writing. Realisation strikes the long haired girl and she laughs, "Oh right! I asked for a drink didn't I? Thanks Hiromi."

Fukuhara halts her writing, a odd look on her face while she places the notepad back into her pocket.

"Hey Fukuhara, where have you been this whole time?" I ask with a smile. Fukuhara only now seems to notice Chiyoko and myself standing here, she glances at us and when she looks at me, she bows a little and mouths out a sorry.

"Oh Hiromi! Do you know these two?" Fukuhara spins around and nods. The long haired girl looks to her sister and nods.

"I'll do the introductions then." The spectacled girl steps forward and points to the little girl, "Haruki Fukuhara, age eleven. Elementary student." The tiny girl with twin-tails bounces a little before bowing gracefully.

"Harumi Fukuhara, age twenty-one. Fashion Designer." The long haired beauty bows and gives us a wink, "Hello!" She makes a peace sign with her hand and tilts her head to side with a smile.

"And myself, Haruka Fukuhara, age nineteen. University student and heir to the Fukuhara family legacy." She bows and tips her glasses up in a very matter of fact way.

"Oh, and you probably know her but this is Hiromi Fukuhara, age seventeen." I nod and Fukuhara just rubs her shoulder. Huh, no fancy title for her?

"I-I'm Chiyoko Iwasaki! Please to meet you!" Chiyoko mutters loudly and bows rigidly. The sisters just smile stiffly and nod.

...

I notice that all the girls are now looking my way, "Uh, I'm Kichirou Susumu." I say after bowing awkwardly.

"Oh! And please," The long haired girl bellows and winks at us, "First name basis from here on out. Or else thing'll get difficult." she giggles slightly and flips her hair over her shoulders. "Agreed?" Harumi says.

"Agreed!"

"Agreed."

... First names right off the bat uh? Not a very foreign concept now that I think about it. My gaze instantly shifts to the blonde at my side.

Harumi pulls out her smartphone and sighs, "Look's like we've got to go guys." After putting the phone away she sighs again, far more suggestively this time and she stretches out her back, the fabric of her clothes tightly hugging her figure like a vice. I can't help but blush and look away at the sight.

"Well Hiromi," Harumi starts walking away with a sway in her step, "We'll let the folks know how you've been doing."

"Ciao!" She waves to all of us and walks off stylishly.

Haruka looks to Hiromi briefly, "I will contact you at a later date, Hiromi." After a slight adjustment of her glasses, Haruka turns on her heel and marches off robotically.

Guess if you're the family heir you've got to walk like that? Who knows.

"Okay sis! I gotta go!" Haruki jumps at Hiromi, instantly wrapping her in a hug. This is probably the first time I've seen Fukuhara Hiromi smile during this conversation. She nods and wraps her arms around her little sister affectionately.

The hug is short but meaningful. Haruki eventually waves goodbye to all of us and runs off after her sisters.

Cute kid honestly, even if she has a promising future as a loan shark.

...

"Huh! That was interesting." Chiyoko exclaims. I nod and pull out my phone, Crap. We're running out of time here.

"Fukuhara, have you seen Kobayashi around?" She tilts her head to the side before writing out a message.

[I haven't. Why?]

"Well, we need to find her. I've left Takashi in charge while I've been gone but I don't want to leave him alone for any longer than I already have." I start gazing over all the stalls in sight, hoping to spot that pony-tailed girl.

Another message is written out, [Wait, did she run off somewhere?] I nod.

"Yeah, I thought you saw her leave." Fukuhara shakes her head and writes on her notepad, [I probably left before her, I got a text message from my sisters to meet them so...]

Heh, she even wrote out the periods. "I see, your families pretty... unique isn't it?" I smile and Fukuhara just looks to the floor.

Now that I think about it, I hardly noticed Fukuhara at all during that conversation. Her mutism aside, she didn't seem that happy around her sisters. Family problems maybe? Would explain her lack of a fancy title.

[I'm sorry I walked off without saying anything.] I look at the notepad and shake my head.

"It's cool, family comes first and all that." I wave my stub absentmindedly as she just smirks and writes on her pad again.

[We should get going, Takashi shouldn't be left alone right?] She smiles and brushes some of her hair behind her ear gently.

My brow furrows as I imagine helicopters circling the school as Takashi holds some kid who dunked him hostage.

... My imagination scares me sometimes.

"Hey! You still need to find one more person right?" I only now realise that Chiyoko is still here, I turn to address her but the sight of a gang of students running towards us causes me to freeze.

"IWASAKI!" Chiyoko flinches and glances over her shoulder. She tries to make a run for it but the students manage to tackle her to the floor.

"Let me go! Let me go! I'm on break today!" in between the scuffle, a student emerges. She adjusts her glasses and shouts.

"Iwasaki! It's urgent! W-We can't find the president." Chiyoko pulls herself out of the pile of bodies and huffs.

"How is that my problem?! You know she tends to wander now and again!" Chiyoko dusts herself off and pouts.

"Iwasaki! Please help us, Nakajima's been trying but he can't find her!" The larger student exclaims as he untangles himself from the others.

"Of course he hasn't found her!" Once again, Chiyoko Iwasaki. The only person who can make a blind joke and get away with it. After stomping her feet, Chiyoko turns to face me and Fukuhara.

"Sorry guys, I've got to help out the council." Chiyoko looks crestfallen as she gives Fukuhara a bow before turning her gaze to mine.

The look she gives me was probably designed to convey a bunch of different messages but I can't for the life of me decipher them. I just give her a wave, "Hey no problem, thanks for helping me find Fukuhara here."

Chiyoko blushes and her expression brightens a little. She turns to the other students and shouts, "Right then! Let's go find our president!" They all salute and run off towards the main school building.

"Good luck! I guess." I shout out as the disappear.

...

I feel a tug on my sleeve, another message has been written.

[that says a lot about our school doesn't it?]

"What do you mean?" I question.

[That the student council president can just 'wander' off and cause the rest of the members to spiral into chaos.] She giggles silently and I just shrug.

"I don't think our student council is all that organized." I laugh and begin limping through the festival grounds, Fukuhara catches up to me and settles into the pace I set.

[Have you met the student council president?] Fukuhara asks.

I shake my head, "Nope, not personally but Nakajima told me once that she's a bit of a nut-job." Fukuhara just nods and looks around briefly before writing out another message.

[Anyway, where haven't you checked yet?]

"Good question, got any ideas?"

Fukuhara and I wander the festival grounds together, discussing where our pony-tailed friend could be right now. If I remember correctly, Fukuhara once told me that Kobayashi's quite the swimmer.

It's the only idea I've got right now so it'll have to work. Medical building here we come, please be there Kobayashi.

We can't leave a certain someone alone for much longer.

...

Takashi... I swear if I find the stall in ruins, I'm gonna strangle you.

A familiar notepad comes into my view, [Hey, what's that red stuff on your shirt?]

...
Last edited by RidiculousLuke on Sat Mar 14, 2015 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." - Hunter S. Thompson
HoneyBakedHam
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [New Frontpage+Chapter Eleven!]

Post by HoneyBakedHam »

A Kichi and Chiyoko moment?! Love how cute Chiyoko was during the whole thing. :mrgreen:

Luke...you're teasing with me here. :wink:
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [New Frontpage+Chapter Eleven!]

Post by Mirage_GSM »

I decided to settle on an old favorite of mine, Shioyaki.
Shioyaki literally just means "salt-grilled". I've only ever heard it used in conjunction with the stuff that was salt-grilled, e.g shioyaki salmon or pork, but it seems it is also used by itself, so I learned something new today. Fun fact: While I looked it up I noticed that preparation time is 2-5 hours, so that's probably why you don't usually find it at festival stalls…
The girl with glasses scans Chiyoko and I
"Chiyoko and me"
the fabric of her clothes tightly hugging her figure like a vice.
I know it's just the US spelling, but in this case the ambiguity is really funny :-)
"Of course he hasn't find her!"
That's probably just a remnant of en edit...

All of this is just nitpicks. Very good chapter, from the pacing to the characters. Maybe you overdid it a tiny bit describing how extremely beautiful her sisters are ;-)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
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Sore wa himitsu desu.
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RidiculousLuke
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Re: Puppet Show [OC Story] [New Frontpage+Chapter Eleven!]

Post by RidiculousLuke »

Fun fact: While I looked it up I noticed that preparation time is 2-5 hours, so that's probably why you don't usually find it at festival stalls…
The amount of time I spent researching Japanese festival foods... That is time I will not get back :P

Anyway, Shioyaki may not be all that common but I doubt it's not around some festivals. That 2-5 hour prep? I'm sure people just start cooking them ahead of time, like before the festivals even open to the public.
Maybe you overdid it a tiny bit describing how extremely beautiful her sisters are ;-)
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Luke of the Ridiculous variety, author of Puppet Show.

(There's also the Old Version of Puppet Show, if you really want to read it.)


"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." - Hunter S. Thompson
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