Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Completed)

[Mirage_GSM]

Yes, quite a few subtle hints - too bad we all know about her already

Very enjoyable chapter. I have to admit I kinda forgot who Noriko was after the long hiatus, though^^°

Only one minor comment:

but that just shows what a marked change this day is having on her.

I don't think something can "have a change on someone" - you were probably going for "effect"

[Eurobeatjester]

We know about her, but Hisao doesn't

Thanks for pointing that gremlin out. There's less of them now so I hope my writing has improved!

[Mirage_GSM]

Oh, it was quite good to begin with, but yes it has.

[Eurobeatjester]

Thanks Mirage That means a lot, coming from you.

[Solistor]

IT'S HAPPENING

Well worth the wait, as always. I don't know why but I expected Mrs. Sakamoto to be a bit more, uh, "teacherlike". By which I mean a bit more business and a little less casual. Then again that's probably just my expectations not matching reality. I'm really liking the locational photos, do you take them yourself? They really add to the feel and atmosphere of your story. I don't think I could have envisioned the scene as well as I did without the reference, but that's my problem and not yours; I'm just a visual person. Chisato's excitement was both endearing and annoying in that special way where you're okay with it. I'm actually interested to know more about Noriko now, since she seems to be trying her best to not be noticed. As for Hisao not knowing about Saki's deal, didn't he guess at it earlier or is my reading comprehension actually worse than ever? Or is it one of those "he's not certain so he's not making assumptions" type of things? My curiosity and forgetfulness combined will kill me one day.

On another note, something I enjoy about this work is that I can immerse myself in it. I can place myself in the scene, either as an onlooker or in one of the characters' shoes. It's an interesting feeling for me: a combination of warmth and sadness, like a long lost memory. Literature tends to evoke feelings in me, but I find the most powerful and thoughtful feelings come from slice of life style stuff like this and many other fics on this board. Well, that's enough of my rambling for now. Keep on keepin' on, man.

[Craftyatom]

Aaaaah lovely lovely lovely, I'm a big fan. Two things:

After the time I the hospital, I've grown a centimeter or two.

That one time I accidentally the whole hospital...

...and I can't find the second thing. I should really write these things down as I see them. Regardless, this was a great scene, but I'm actually probably more excited for what's going to happen in the next scene - your endings seem to do that to me :P

Keep up the good work!

[Eurobeatjester]

IT'S HAPPENING

Well worth the wait, as always. I don't know why but I expected Mrs. Sakamoto to be a bit more, uh, "teacherlike". By which I mean a bit more business and a little less casual. Then again that's probably just my expectations not matching reality. I'm really liking the locational photos, do you take them yourself? They really add to the feel and atmosphere of your story. I don't think I could have envisioned the scene as well as I did without the reference, but that's my problem and not yours; I'm just a visual person. Chisato's excitement was both endearing and annoying in that special way where you're okay with it. I'm actually interested to know more about Noriko now, since she seems to be trying her best to not be noticed. As for Hisao not knowing about Saki's deal, didn't he guess at it earlier or is my reading comprehension actually worse than ever? Or is it one of those "he's not certain so he's not making assumptions" type of things? My curiosity and forgetfulness combined will kill me one day.

On another note, something I enjoy about this work is that I can immerse myself in it. I can place myself in the scene, either as an onlooker or in one of the characters' shoes. It's an interesting feeling for me: a combination of warmth and sadness, like a long lost memory. Literature tends to evoke feelings in me, but I find the most powerful and thoughtful feelings come from slice of life style stuff like this and many other fics on this board. Well, that's enough of my rambling for now. Keep on keepin' on, man.

Thanks! I don't take my own pictures, but take them from google and apply a few filters until I can make it look something like the VN.

More about Noriko next chapter.

Hisao knows her condition isn't going to get better, but he doesn't know that it's going to get worse. Whether that's because he honestly doesn't think about it, or he's purposely avoiding answering that question because he fears the answer won't be a good one, well...that will be answered soon

I'm glad it's having that effect on you Sometimes I worry I don't get to the point in my writing and I ramble on, so it's reassuring to see this.

Aaaaah lovely lovely lovely, I'm a big fan. Two things:

After the time I the hospital, I've grown a centimeter or two.

That one time I accidentally the whole hospital...

...and I can't find the second thing. I should really write these things down as I see them. Regardless, this was a great scene, but I'm actually probably more excited for what's going to happen in the next scene - your endings seem to do that to me

Keep up the good work!

Whoops! I accidentally a word.

[Eurobeatjester]

Don't think I'll have art for the next scene, but it's coming along nicely

[Solistor]

Don't think I'll have art for the next scene, but it's coming along nicely

Excellent to hear! I personally feel that art is just a bonus rather than a necessity, so all's good on that front.

[AussieInquisitor]

Whew. Just got through a well-written Akira "what-if" route and now this in-progress pseudo-route's got my attention. Since I haven't read any of this work, I don't have any constructive feedback to offer for now. I'll get back to it once I finish up.

In any case, thanks for taking the step into this branch of unknown territory, Euro, and best of luck.

[eric ericco]

This is amazing man, the first pseudo path i'm reading and i really am looking forward to more, you hit the feeling of katawa shoujo down to a T man... The writing really on the mark, it really felt like Hisoa and with the structure of the writing, with the pauses of the passing time etc i think it would fit into the VN nicely. The music you picked for her to play at the festival really fit her character and i used it as 'Saki's theme', i listened to a lot of the KS OST as i played through but used the song you picked at certain moments and it was awesome! All i can really do is give you praise and (im)patiently wait for more!

[Eurobeatjester]

New chapter is almost done. Found a new job with set days off and set hours, so that should help my sanity, and subsequently my writing

I went back and inserted the various pieces of artwork where they fit into the story, so that new readers don't have to hunt to find them

[Peorth]

New chapter is almost done. Found a new job with set days off and set hours, so that should help my sanity, and subsequently my writing

I went back and inserted the various pieces of artwork where they fit into the story, so that new readers don't have to hunt to find them

Sanity is good!

[Sleepwalker]

New chapter is almost done. Found a new job with set days off and set hours, so that should help my sanity, and subsequently my writing

I went back and inserted the various pieces of artwork where they fit into the story, so that new readers don't have to hunt to find them

Sanity is good!

I wish i still had mine... Anyway, looking forward for the next chapter

[timetravelzero]

New chapter is almost done. Found a new job with set days off and set hours, so that should help my sanity, and subsequently my writing

WOO! This piece is still on!
As for work, let me get back to mine now.
Best of luck, EBJ.