A Future (Complete Version)

[griffon8]

It's also common to put a link in each part to the next part for people just reading the story who want to skip the other comments.

[Mirage_GSM]

Very good story.
I was a bit disappointed that the scene where he met Emi again ended so abruptly. I would have liked to see Emi's reaction to learning of Lilly's death. Otherwise no complaints. Looking forward to the conclusion.

[Fardels]

Part Four – The Big Night
Chapter 12 – Prelude
When Hisao was twelve, his family had travelled somewhere by ferry – he didn’t even remember where. They were only a few minutes out of the harbor when a storm hit with full force. The ferry seemed large and stable in the harbor, but on the thrashing seas, it turned into a lurching dinosaur, swinging and diving in every direction. The forty-five minute trip took nearly three hours. He didn’t get seasick exactly, but at the end of the ride, he stepped onto the pier drained, fatigued, and off his balance. That’s the way he felt now.

For the better part of four months, he had dealt with the physical and emotional repercussions of Lilly’s accident. The ceremony had been the last major hurdle, and he felt like he was actually on solid land again. But now what? It was time to get a rhythm back in his life, built around the things that were still there. Work, walking, music, the hill and the forest, physical therapy – it all sounded so comfortable and serene.

Physical therapy might be an exception. The therapy was going well enough, but since refusing his invitation, Emi had become almost girlish. She had always been effervescent, but there was a new fizz. Emi was still professional, still supportive, and still friendly, but she attacked her time with Hisao with a new vigor and a piquant sense of humor. Lately it was to treat him with exaggerated deference to his title. Not that any of it was objectionable – he was actually charmed by her. Still, it was a strange way to treat a man whose company you had refused. Maybe it was some kind of consolation prize; no matter. He enjoyed seeing her, and that made today a better day.

He walked the three blocks to the center, a much nicer proposition than the first visit. He was changed and ready to go when she came to get him, and he worked his way through the small weights, the bicycle machine, and the other contraptions with scarcely any problems. He did his cooling off, then sat on a bench by the weights and closed his eyes. He felt good. Maybe it helped the heart, but it helped his attitude too.

“Excuse me, Professor Nakai?”

He opened his eyes to see Emi’s face, leaning over him, perhaps a foot from his.

He grinned. “Yes, Miss Ibarazaki?

“Oh good, you’re still in there. Professor Nakai, I am searching for a word.”

“Yes, Miss Ibarazaki. I know several, though many of them are useless outside of the laboratory. What word do you want?”

“Professor Nakai, what do you call it when a distinguished academic promises to buy dinner for an old schoolmate and then never mentions it again?”

“Ummm. I would call that remiss. No, sadly remiss. Academics are quite stuck on themselves, you know.”

“I like that word. If the schoolmate becomes disappointed, Professor, what can she do about it?”

“Hmmm. Doubtless, there’s a committee that handles that sort of thing. May we discuss it over a meal tonight?”

Emi smiled her biggest smile. “What a great idea! Er, but Professor, there are certain medical administrators who feel that dinner with patients comes close to an infraction of professional ethics. May we discuss this matter in some place away from those inhabited by medical administrators?”

“Ah, I know just the place. A quest for justice must have suitable surroundings.”

“I knew you would understand, Professor.”

That was a turnaround. The day was getting better and better.

Emi lived in one of the towers between the financial district and the university. It should be quite convenient for her – the university track was within walking distance and the therapy building was only a few blocks further. He got there early, but she lived on the twelfth floor, and finding parking and the elevator trip ate up almost all of the extra time.

He fidgeted as the elevator made its wearisome stops between the lobby and twelve. He didn’t know whether to be nervous or not. On one hand, he had never really dated. He and Lilly had committed themselves to each other before people really learn the art and skills of dating. On the other, he was going out with Emi, who was a known quantity and comfortable to be with.

He found the door and knocked on it. When it swung open, all of his amiable self-confidence evaporated. Emi had been replaced by an obviously sophisticated woman with fashionable tastes. One who could turn on that bright Emi smile that he enjoyed so much. And she was doing that right now.

Chapter 13 - Concierto
Oh, it was Emi, but what a difference. He hadn’t seen Emi in a skirt since her high school uniform, and this was a dress, one that clung to her and came down to mid-calf. It was brilliant royal blue and didn’t clash with her bright green eyes even a little. And makeup – Emi with makeup? She had expertly lined her eyes, carefully applied a light coat of mascara, and used just a touch of lipstick. She was breathtaking.

He’d noticed something. When he was with somebody he really liked, he remembered them as being about the same height as he was. He supposed it was a matter of keeping eye contact, as opposed to taking a broader view, something like that. Nakamura barely came up to his chin, yet in his discussions with Nakamura, he remembered only ideas and opinions. It was the same with Emi despite a number of things. For one, she was even shorter than Nakamura. For another, looking at Emi was a whole lot more satisfying than looking at Nakamura. Yet for most of the evening, what he saw of Emi was smiles and conversation.

He took her to the restaurant beside the museum, the one he had discovered while doing his daily walk. It was a beautiful setting, with a courtyard surrounded by tables. The fountain splashed gaily and the plants give it a sense of peace.
The conversation was feather-light. She teased him and he teased her back. They talked about old Yamaku friends. They talked about his therapy and increasing his walking distance. They joked.

He paid the bill, and she grabbed his arm as they went back to the car. He’d just unlocked and opened the door when she said “Hisao?”

He smiled his broadest smile, without effort, without even thinking. “Emi?”

Her smile had weakened and there was something else in her eyes. “I don’t want to go home right now. Is that all right?”

That was fine with him – he didn’t want to end the evening either. But where could they go? “Umm, sure. I don’t get out very much though. I don’t really know any night spots. Did you have a place in mind?”

“No, not really. I’m usually asleep by now. Someplace quiet and private maybe?” Her smile was there again, but it had that little fishhook on one side. And her eyes were gleaming and narrowed. He could have read that look even if he was blind. Oh. The look triggered a new set of thoughts into his mind, then the word “blind” triggered another.

“Oh! Ahh…well..yeah, I think…”

And then he stopped. He could feel his face falling into That Look again. He stared at her dumbly.

Her face fell as he stared, the unmistakable look of allure being replaced by one of sympathy. Her eyes seemed to grow larger and her mouth pouted.

“Too soon?”

“Well no, it’s just that, er…, I mean, well…give me a minute.”

She did, with those bright puppy-dog eyes. He used maybe ten seconds of his allotted minute.

In a calm, quiet, level voice, he said, “Maybe.” He paused for a few seconds and continued, afraid that she’d interrupt and make the decision for him. “I know you, Emi, not as well as I’d like to, but enough. I think you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in awhile. And you look like a magazine model in your dress and that smile on your face. I think, ‘what kind of fool would just let this slip away’? I’m just trying to decide how foolish I am. It would be – um, the first time after the accident. Not long ago, memories would have made tonight impossible. I’m past that now, I think. But it’s your night too, and I wanted to make sure. I was afraid that the past may cause me to ruin your evening. I won’t do that to you. So, I needed time to think.”

“If you need more time, it’s okay…”

“No, I don’t. Would you like to listen to some music at my place? I’m just not feeling selfish enough to spoil it for us.”

He didn’t know how she managed to do those puppy dog eyes with that impish grin, but the expression never left her face on the trip to the house by the hillside. Less than three minutes after they closed the door, Jim Hall started the introduction for the jazz classic. They settled on the couch during his first solo and Paul Desmond’s deconstruction of the theme. After the first notes of Chet Baker’s muted trumpet solo, they locked eyes. The solo wasn’t halfway through before Hisao murmured, “You are so beautiful, Emi. Inside and out. I’m a very lucky man.” By the time the solo ended, they had locked a good deal more than eyes. He vaguely remembered the start of Roland Hanna’s piano riff and then nothing, at least nothing of the music. He lifted Emi in his arms, her head on one shoulder and her legs dangling from the other arm, and headed away from the music, toward the bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed.

If a man has made love to only two women in his life, you’d expect him to compare them – it would only be natural. The thought never crossed Hisao’s mind. He was learning about Emi now, her desires and preferences, and nothing else mattered. He ran his hands down her body, gently, finding areas that seemed to respond to the touch. She did the same. Emi responded strongly to the things that pleased her – there was little middle ground. They traded explorations, gently, then more insistently. He paid attention to the area behind her ears, the small of her back, the muscle beside her breast that bound it to the chest, as well as the more common sources of desire. When people have sex for the first time, their excitement about a new partner stays modified by the need to know that person – it’s a balance.

This was sex that might have been impossible at eighteen. His heart beat strongly and rapidly, but regularly. There was no overwhelming immediate biochemical rush, no blinding flash of ultimate desire. This was more measured, more gradual, and more mentally exciting, if less physically so. When they ended, the thunder rolled and the lightning flashed, but perhaps not as close by as when they were younger. The storm broke, a larger, more powerful storm, if not quite as concentrated. They had drained each other of any further desire, more so than if they had been younger. It was the sex of the present, of people in their late twenties.

Emi etched his memory and stayed there. He remembered the small details of her body, the smell of her and the taste of her lips and skin. Emi was toned and solid, like some exquisitely crafted statue that moved with grace and rhythm. Mostly he remembered her eyes, now wide and now narrow, the puppy look and the impish look. He remembered them as they closed, exhausted, and how her body warmed his as they drifted to sleep. And he thought of her as being only a trifle shorter than he was, physical evidence to the contrary.

Chapter 14 - The Ghosts of Morning
Emi still slept soundly when Hisao awoke, still wrapped tightly in his left arm. He looked in her direction and smiled as she stirred lightly and rolled away from him. With only a little effort, he was able to untangle his arm and leave the bed without waking her.

He padded to the kitchen to fix tea. He was a man of science, a lover of detail – in other words, a worrier. What now?

Did he want to keep her in his life? He was pretty sure he knew the answer to that one.

Did she want to keep him in her life? Unknown – more data necessary.

How would she fit in his life? Unknown, but complex. How would she get along with his closest friends – Akira, Hanako, Nakamura and the others? Akira and Emi were a strange combination, even without the Lilly factor lurking in the background. She would probably charm Nakamura without even thinking about it, and most of the rest of the department faculty, for that matter. Hanako – wow, that was another strange combination.

How would he fit into her life? He didn’t know, but he had serious doubts. She always hung around with the track team in high school, and from what he knew, most of her friends were still people who shared the love of physical activity. They weren’t really bookish or abstract, and those were two of his primary qualities. There was Rin, of course, but Rin would be a special case forever.

More data – he needed more data. It’s not as easy at twenty-eight as it is at eighteen. And he had less time to fix mistakes than most people.

“Hisao? Hisao? Are you there?” Her voice drifted softly from the bedroom.

Hisao hurried to the bedroom and the sound of her voice. She was awake and propped up slightly at the head of the bed. When he reached her, she pulled him to her and kissed him fiercely. It wasn’t terribly sexy, but it wasn’t supposed to be. It was an enthusiastic welcome.

“Good morning, Professor Nakai!”

“Good morning, Miss Ibarazaki. Did you sleep well?

“Very well, indeed, Professor! A man kept me up way past my bedtime last night.”

“That’s terrible. I hope it was worth your while.”

“Well, I thought it was. I have a question, Professor Nakai. That man who kept me up said that I looked like a model. Do you think that was some sort of underhanded comment about the small size of my breasts?”

“I doubt it very seriously, Miss Ibarazaki. I have examined your breasts closely, and they are very firmly attached to you, just one part of a very special woman, you see. That is all any man could ask from a pair of breasts.”

“Perhaps you could double check that later, Professor?

“I would be honored, Miss Ibarazaki.”

They sat at the table drinking from the warm cups. All of a sudden, her face drooped. “Hisao, I want to be serious for a moment, okay?” Hisao nodded and gazed at her steadily.

“I told you about my father and how I tried to a keep a distance from everybody. I wasn’t going to lose anyone that close again. Most of the men I dated were okay with that. Some of them were athletes, with more skills to learn or more records to break. I loved their determination and dedication, but at the end of the day, they were pretty self-involved, even the ones who played team sports. They were nice and it was fun, and that’s that. As I got a little older, I got tired of that. I even stopped dating.

You’re different. The things you really care about have nothing to do with your personal best at anything. Sometimes, I think that way too. One of my patients died last week. We weren’t that close, he was just a nice old man. But I felt some of things I felt after my dad’s car accident. I was just really sorry for him, and sorry that I wouldn’t see him anymore.

I want something else now. When my patient died, I had no one to talk to, nobody who really understood. Once, I got a nice letter from somebody I had helped. Being disconnected feels even worse when good things happen. My mom and step-dad connect with me sometimes, especially since my step-dad is sort of in the same field. But they have their own lives.”

“Disconnected… oh, do I understand that,” Hisao said. “But it has to be the right person to keep the connection.

When Lilly and I decided that we were in love, we wrapped our lives pretty tightly around each other. We were eighteen – we could easily make changes in what we did and where we were going. The future was something we could grow into together. It’s not that easy to wrap your life around someone when you are settled into it, like now. And that may not be what they want.

One of the things I loved Lilly most for was having anything to do with me at all. She was taking a big chance – marrying this guy who could kick off at any minute. That took courage. If we wound up together, you’d be taking the same risk, except it’s bigger now. I always thought that I would go first. I always thought that after a suitable period of mourning, Lilly would go on and marry someone else. I thought that would make it better for her. I can’t believe how wrong I was. Lilly died first, and I was left with that suitable period of mourning I was so cavalier about. Well, it’s horrible. I was wrong about dying first and I was wrong about that. I’m actually glad she died first. What I have gone through – how could I wish that on her? And now I wonder, how could I wish that on you?

Let me ask you a question, Emi. Do you want children? More to the point, do you want them with a man who could disappear from their lives at about the same time your father left you?”

Emi shook her head violently. “No, Hisao, no. You went too far.”

“I live in the present, not the future. Living in the future, that’s almost as bad as living in the past. We don’t know anything about kids, or when you will die, or any of those other things. Sure, you think about those things, but you don’t try to live them before they happen. When you asked me out for coffee by the cemetery, that’s one of the reasons I put it off. I could see where things were going, and I wanted to think about it. I know my risks getting involved with you, maybe better than you do, because I know myself better.

After I thought about it, I made some decisions. I decided to remind you that you had asked me out, and I decided to buy a new dress and put on that silly makeup, and I decided to stand there and wait while you figured out whether you wanted me or not. And you know what? Up until right now, I think I made good decisions. Hisao, if you fear the future so much, there’s no point to the present. You have to make up your mind. Do you want to stay with me, or with all of the things that might happen?”

Hisao smiled his terrible self-mocking smile. “I have a friend, an older sister really, who has been telling me to live in the present ever since I’ve known her. Akira was right all along, and you’re right now. We don’t have to fanatically plan our lives – it’ll probably turn out different anyway. Sorry, Emi, I was just trying to be considerate. Maybe it’s just my odd little way of telling you how much I care for you.”

“I care for you too, Hisao. But I make my own decisions. I decided to come here with you. What do you want to do about it?”

He grinned a little. “I want to get dressed and take a walk with you up to the forest beyond the hill. I want you to see the birds and feel the wind in your hair. Then I want to have some lunch. And then, if you are willing, I’d like to review my findings on the breast issue that you mentioned earlier.”

She smiled back at him, the big bright Emi smile. “See? I make pretty great decisions.”

[Fardels]

Afterthoughts
Appendix A: Scientific Notes

We have just discovered Higgs’ boson – it seems to be the building block of the universe, perhaps creating energy, matter and gravity. It has negative properties equal to its positive properties, and how bosons interact with each other, if indeed they do, remains a mystery. How and where time enters the equation also remains an open question.

Professor Hisao Nakai once wrote that “I am impressed with how little we know of the physical world…” He was right.

Having gone to sleep one night in his little house next to the hill, the fully grayed and slightly bent over Hisao next became conscious in a place not subject to the physical or temporal limitations of this one. How or why, we cannot tell, nor can we tell why it looked like the empty classroom used for tea at Yamaku Academy. It may have something to do with the bosons. We can say that the first thing he saw was a golden-haired girl of about eighteen, dressed in a school uniform, sitting at the table. The sun shone brightly through the window, warming her back and bathing her in a soft golden glow.

As he stood in amazement, her head slowly tilted toward him and the reserved, contented smile on her face widened to a blissful open one. She rose from the chair. “Hisao, I perceive that you have finally arrived,” she said softly and evenly. A thousand questions ran through his mind before he realized that they were all irrelevant. He asked the only question that did matter. “Lilly! Is that really you?”

She walked closer to him, directly, gracefully, and without a cane. She held his arm with one hand and stroked his cheek with the other. He looked deeply into her eyes, seeing a reflection of himself at eighteen. She ignored his question, because the answer was obvious.

“I’ve been anticipating this moment for awhile,” she replied.

They embraced slowly and softly, and then more firmly. If tears fall in this place, they fell then. The embrace was lasting. He felt the warmth of her body in his arms, felt the soft pressure of her cheek on his shoulder, smelled the lightly scented fragrance of her hair. Eventually he felt the softness of her lips on his. We cannot tell anything further. Joy in its purest form is not observable.

The eminent journalist Hanako Nishimura reminded us that “Anger begets anger. And ignorance begets ignorance.” Indeed, they seem to follow the Law of Conservation of Energy, like more physical energy forms. If these things are conserved, why can’t the universe conserve joy? It may move from place to place, but it remains. If so, they had ten years of earth time together, in which they built up a sphere of joy that they now explore at their own pace. One would think that this sphere would also have the college after Yamaku and the House Beside the Hill as settings. It might even have the hospital room where joy ignited.

Rin Tezuka suggests that these joyful spheres occupy space, creating light that shines back toward this planet, even as the joy travels onward and the things that created it disappear into time. We have no data that contradicts her.

Moreover, joy seems to be a precipitate. Put together the right things in the right amount – people, events, attitudes, and time - and it coalesces from the mixture. After it leaves, maybe it does fly into space, as a brilliant light. Again, we have no data. As only one element in the mixture, who is to say that Hisao does not participate in other spheres of joy, just as carbon or nitrogen are a part of many compounds?

Further study is necessary.
 
Appendix B - Directions To The House Beside The Hill

Get off the great highway north three stops before it leaves the city – you will be in the financial district. At the western edge of the financial district, look for the street that separates the office buildings from the neighborhoods – the difference is quite dramatic. As you travel north on it, you will see a large western-looking bank, complete with pillars chiselled into the entryway walls, to your right. If you look across the street, to your left, you will see what looks like a park behind an iron fence. It is in fact a cemetery, the cemetery, and the trees hide the stones by which people are remembered. If you must go in there, the parking lot is by the northern edge.

Instead, travel on about five minutes, and you will see the university to your right. Again, the difference from the neighborhoods is dramatic – there are small clusters of trees, wide expanses of grass, and large buildings, clearly not commercial, but too large for residences. If you go while school is in session, you will probably see a few students on the lawn, reading, or laughing and talking with their friends. At the northern edge, make a left on the street that travels diagonally to the one you are on. You are now in the neighborhoods, but your street is lined with modest commercial establishments that nourish and support those neighborhoods. Make a right by the large supermarket, and a left by the insurance agency. The grocer with the delicious crackers is some three blocks beyond. The streets have narrowed – drive very carefully. That crosswalk will be in your path shortly. At the small road by the booksellers, make one last left.
Just follow your nose. In one block, the houses become small and separated, clearly all built in the same era by the same builder. Travel another block, and the street ends. Directly in front of you will be the House Beside the Hill.

These directions are confusing. If you have successfully followed them, you can tell you are there because the House Beside the Hill is still clad in dark wood. The rest of the neighbors have either painted their houses or put siding on them. It is modest by western standards – a single story, somewhat wider than deep, with a carport to the left. The dark wood is affixed in broad vertical strips and the slope of the roof is gentle, just enough to allow the snows of winter to slide off.

If you go through the front door, the kitchen is to the left, and the living room is to the right. The bedroom is beyond the kitchen and the dining room is beyond the living room. With the exception of the bedroom, the house is on an open plan – Hisao correctly assumed that it would allow Lilly to navigate better. If you go to the dining room, you will notice a small balcony beyond the glass, with a sliding door that will allow you to get to it.

The land drops beyond the edge of the house, which is why the sitting area is a balcony and not a porch. The hill rises beyond. It is a substantial hill, but the slope is gentle enough that you can see the edge of the forest without raising your chin. The forest is not large, and only fields and fallow lie behind it.

If you had gone there on a summer’s night, in the right era, you still wouldn’t be impressed by a lot. The roof would reflect the moonlight and the windows would be rather dimly lit. You may have heard faint sound of quiet American jazz from an opened window – they both liked fresh air, and Lilly loved the smell of the fields at night. You might hear Bill Evans or Kenny Burrell or the Modern Jazz Quartet. Had you come earlier in the evening, you might hear the faint murmur of amiable conversation, a soft feminine laugh, maybe even a quiet kiss. They were modest people, but they would demonstrate affection if seen only by flowers and lightning bugs. If you came in late spring, you would have seen the purple flecks of the flowers on the hillside, faded and slightly grayed by pale moonlight. That would be the best time to come – many a night, the temperature was ideal then.

All in all, there really isn’t much to see. The Japanese notion of wabi-sabi, finding beauty in the real and flawed, comes into play here. Besides, as the scientific notes state, pure joy is unobservable.

[TheSongofRaven]

Epic posts my friend. I am so glad can enjoy and read this. At least Hisao got his own peaceful life now

[ShinigamiKenji]

Manly tears were shed when reading Appendix B. And that's because I didn't like Lilly's route as much I liked others.

Beautiful story, dude. Having the feels again.

[Parallel Walker]

http://files.sharenator.com/12821756760 ... 03-580.jpg

That was beautiful. Truly beautiful.

'Nuff said.

[LOL WUT]

Wait... It's over?
Oh God Dammit.

Well as I once heard some where

"All Good Stories Must Come To An End"

Unless of course you are immortal and you absolutely love writting then this story can go on for ever!

[Fardels]

'Fraid so, LOL Wut. I said everything I wanted to on this particular future. Maybe more.

The folks at KS handed me a great story and really terrific characters. I just looked out a little bit - you can see further when you stand on the shoulders of giants. Wish I did music and graphics too.

I have some ideas for other stories, but I have to mow the lawn now. Thank you kindly to everyone who was positive, and to Silentcook, who resolved my posting fogginess.

Your friendly neighborhood P. T. Bridgeport.

[Zaknafein]

This was wonderful. I can honestly say I was ecstatic to see Hisao and Emi end up together, and then manly tears were shed when I read Appendix A and knew that he had died. I just hope that however long he lived with Emi were good years, for both their sakes.

[brythain]

Well, somehow I missed this gem. It's so beautiful that if I had read this first, I would never have dared write anything about Hisao post-Yamaku. As it is, I feel like tearing up everything I ever wrote, pulping it into nice paper, and printing a personal copy of this piece with art commissioned from Rin Tezuka. Damn. If the original poster is still lurking around somewhere, I'd like to convey my thanks.

OK, maybe I'm exaggerating. But not by much, my gut feels say.

[azumeow]

That was beautiful. I can't help but worry about how Lilly will react when Emi shows up in the afterlife, though.

Though.....I suppose those two always were the more adventurous kind....

[ZeronosVega]

Brilliant, simply brilliant. This story was both heart-wrenching and heart-warming and more than once I felt choked up. I was happy to see a reunion of the cast, but I couldn't help but wonder what happened to Shizune. Given that she and Lilly are family, I expected to hear Hisao mention her having been present at the funeral or having sent her condolences. However, that's a minor detail which I don't believe would have made a difference in the end.

I'm also going to reiterate what griffon8 recommended, which is to provide a linked table of contents in the original post for the convenience of future readers.

[motokid108]

A great story and a short read. Bravo good sir/maddam. You've made a truly great story with excellent detail

[turbulentDuvet]

I cried happy tears.

Seriously though, two of my favourite girls from the original game, and you made them your own, added a little new life to their character. Like you said too 4LS have handed the community a fantastic story, and here we are years later still enjoying it and expanding upon it.

This is getting tucked away amongst my favourites, thank you for sharing <3