Mirage_GSM wrote:All said I think it's a mistake to read this story (or any of Kosher's stories for that matter) and expect serious drama or realistic relationships. They're a bit like Hoitash's: meant to entertain, zany, witty and sometimes hilarious.
Well, humor is generally subjective. I like almost everything of Hoitash's, or I can at least find something to laugh at in it (although I still say Oddball's humor is the funniest I've read on these boards). As far as I know, this is the first thing I've read by Kosherbacon, and I didn't laugh once. Just not my style of humor, I guess.
ETA: Come to think of it, as I was reading, I never quite got the idea that this story was meant to be humorous.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
Point in case: Never omit a gag just because it isn't in character.
I disagree. If it doesn't work for a character, see if there's another character you can give it to. If you can't, save it. You'll find a place for it later.
I think you'*re mixing up two seperate characters here...
That would make more sense. It just goes to show you how well I was keeping track of all the OCs.
All said I think it's a mistake to read this story (or any of Kosher's stories for that matter) and expect serious drama or realistic relationships.
Honestly, this story seemed like ti was going for the serious relationships and drama with just a slight touch of humor here and there.
(although I still say Oddball's humor is the funniest I've read on these boards)
Honestly, this story seemed like ti was going for the serious relationships and drama with just a slight touch of humor here and there.
Hmm... Maybe I had the advantage of having read some other stories of his before...
Just FYI, he also wrote Madam Lillian's Specialty Service - which I think some of you know - and Kyouki Shoujou.
Haven't even read it soooooo, 30th? 30th.
Also, I'm going on vacation to see my brother in the states for all of July so I may miss a date or something, please refrain from suicide and/or rioting in the streets, ill try to stay punctual. Thanks, and happy readings.
Last edited by Sea on Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Damn it, just now I finished reading Salvage, which ... yikes, I remembered it being better than that. The Hisao in that story, talk about a snarky and oblivious smartass.
Blasphemy wrote:Damn it, just now I finished reading Salvage, which ... yikes, I remembered it being better than that. The Hisao in that story, talk about a snarky and oblivious smartass.
Heh, I already read Salvage as well (couldn't sleep last night), and yeah, it was pretty bad. I think every single canon character (except maybe Emi) was out of character to some degree. There were times that I wondered if I was reading a parody fic.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
Basically, my goal was to start discussion of BEFFs... and Salvage wasn't the one I wanted, but when I PMed Sea, it was the one I could find (and it definitely was not good), and I was hoping maybe he knew of the fic I was looking for. The discussion started anyway, and then I found what I was looking for, Second Beats (which wasn't even on here, and wasn't as good as I remembered it being).
Seeing as that discussion already started, I changed it out to something else that I had found while looking through the Fan Fiction forum here, completely unrelated to BEFFs.
Blasphemy wrote:Damn it, just now I finished reading Salvage, which ... yikes, I remembered it being better than that. The Hisao in that story, talk about a snarky and oblivious smartass.
I think every single canon character (except maybe Emi) was out of character to some degree. There were times that I wondered if I was reading a parody fic.
Yeah Lilly was also incredible irritating to me. Not only was I thinking that she really deserved being slapped by Hanako in that...I'd almost call it an assault it was so pushy, the call to Akira afterwards deserved another bunch of slaps. Unfortunately not even Hanako and Akira seem to make much sense. Hmm, with the exception of Emi everyone deserves slaps for their behavior in that fanfic.
What also didn't work was the entire white knighting aspect. I would like think the author tried to convey that Hanako does need some genuine affection and helpful friends, just not the doting kind, but failed to execute on that. I mean by the end Hanako's actually glad about Hisao showing up as her life saving hero and that's enough for everyone to turn super happy suddenly. As if any actual problem was even touched at all...
Also so, so many clichés and Hanako even quoting a Sith from some Star Wars game or literature before cutting her wrist? >__<
Blasphemy wrote:I would like think the author tried to convey that Hanako does need some genuine affection and helpful friends, just not the doting kind, but failed to execute on that.
I agree, there was a halfway decent concept (maybe??) behind Salvage, but the out-of-character portrayals of the cannon characters ruined whatever the author was going after.
Anyway, onto the Future...
I like all the girls in KS, but empathize with Hanako the most.
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." - Mark Twain
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Checkout SordidEuphemism's Logo Thread.
I enjoyed this story quite a bit, and am honestly surprised it hasn't gotten more attention than it has. I was a little disappointed that the later relationship with Emi got short shrift, but I also understand that it's not what the piece was about. One of the top 2-3 stories the YBC has covered thus far, IMO.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
dewelar wrote:Wow, over a day and nobody's said anything?
I enjoyed this story quite a bit, and am honestly surprised it hasn't gotten more attention than it has. I was a little disappointed that the later relationship with Emi got short shrift, but I also understand that it's not what the piece was about. One of the top 2-3 stories the YBC has covered thus far, IMO.
I was too stunned to say anything. I found myself commenting at the end of the thread itself. Sigh. I wish I could write like that; much to learn there. It's very sensitively written, and yeah, the part with Emi was short but a good ending to the tale.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end. Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga. "Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
One of my favorites to be sure. Lilly's death did not come off as being ridiculously convoluted, as character death often does in fanfiction. On top of that, the fic actually made her death mean something, in a sense. I also feel like the characters were very well written. They were still recognizable as their younger selves, but you could tell that they've grown over the years, and not just when they described how they have. I appreciate that Hisao has picked up a few quirks that make him more interesting without making him unrecognizable - his taste in jazz, for example.
However, I was somewhat disappointed by Shizune's absence in the story. I don't usually complain about stuff like this, not being much of a writer myself, but I feel that her inclusion would have been natural. She is, after all, family, and Lilly's route happens to be the only one where the two of them seem to reconcile on some degree.
There were also some moments that were just a tad cheesy, like Hanako's big speech. I suppose inspirational speeches are a little cheesy in general, and I imagine that they are very difficult to author. I somewhat feel like this is just coming from someone standing outside as an observer and not as someone "in" the story so to speak. Let me know if that makes no damn sense.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
